- Mother, I didn't pick up
because I'm running late for an audition.
Derek didn't show up again.
My hands are a little full.
- Mommy, can I play-
- Just a second.
I'll call you later, bye.
- Hi.
- Sorry. Didn't have sitter.
- Name?
- Amber.
- Wow, that's cute.
- Name?
- Cassie Robins.
- Have a seat.
- Mommy, can we play now?
- Not not, sweetheart.
- But you said we could play.
- Mom, what do you do when you don't feel so fresh?
You know, down there?
- Let me tell you a little secret.
I always feel fresh because I always use Forever.
It's the only dish I trust
to keep my lady parts clean and happy.
I'm sorry?
Happy?
Really?
- That's right.
Happy.
Does never woman want a happy vagina?
- Okay.
Okay.
Happy vagina.
I see. It's definitely want a happy vagina. Vagina.
Okay. Can we do it again?
Happy?
- Do you believe that?
It's like a fucking sausage fest in there
and they're schooling me on happy vaginas.
I mean, how about it keeps my sideway smile smiling
or my kitty purring or my fucking pussy dripping.
I mean, who writes this shit?
- If it keeps Amber in private school,
I will say my vageygey is happy, sad, has ADD, OCD, PTSD.
I really don't care.
You shouldn't care either.
Work is work.
- Bitch, I work.
I may not work as much as you but I work.
Which by the way, congratulations on booking that series.
- Thank you.
I'm so excited.
It's recurring, you know, like six episodes.
Oh, it's good money.
I'm finally getting my shot.
- Yay.
- I really needed this.
I mean, it always seems to happen this way.
Just when I'm ready to quit.
- I hear ya but it's our drug of choice.
- Sad but true.
- Speaking of work, I'm gonna go.
- Oh, okay.
Well, maybe we could get together soon
for a little celebration,
my place.
- I'm all in.
And again, congrats.
Love you.
- I love you, too.
- Here you go. - Thank you.
Have a nice night, sir.
- Gross.
- Don't be jealous.
- She looks 12.
- That maybe it's his daughter.
- Oh, God. I'm gonna puke.
- Hater.
- Fight me.
- You messed up, homie.
- I know. I know I did, but he disrespected my girl, doug.
- She was acting like a dumb ass bitch.
What did you expect?
- I couldn't just let him dis her like that. You feel me?
- Motherfucker.
You kill my homie?
You know what you got coming?
- Okay, sweetie. That's all we're gonna have you do.
- But there's another scene.
- Not today.
- Thank you for coming in.
- But the next one is dope.
I need to show you what I got.
- I'm seeing what you got. Thank you.
Jesus. Give me strength.
- This is Mr. Blair. B Jackson.
- Hi, Blair - Hey.
- Any questions?
- Nah, just a little nervous.
- I'm gonna have you slay to the camera with your name,
your height and the role you're reading for.
And then just go right on into it.
- Okay.
Blair B. Jackson III.
What else?
- Your name and your height, babe.
Let's go again.
- Okay.
I'm 5'9.
Reading for Joe Joe.
- And what's your name, babe?
- Blair. B Jackson. - Hold on.
And
- Oh. Blair B Jackson III.
- Okay. Let's just do this.
- Hey, you don't messed up now, homie.
- I know. I know I did, but he disrespected my girl, doug.
- So, your girl acting like a real dumb ass bitch, right?
Hold on. Just a second.
So, what'd you expect me to do this time?
- I couldn't just let him dis her like that, you feel me?
- Come on, motherfucker.
What's up, motherfucker?
- Whoa. Whoa. No.
- Look, you kill my homie.
You know what time is it right now.
- Shit. Hey, my bad. That's me. That's me.
I did not know it was loaded.
- It's loaded, you dumb ass mother fucker.
It's loaded.
- Oh my God. Put that thing away.
- My bad. Am I getting a call back though?
No?
- Oh.
She's down.
Why can't we still nap like that?
- Cause they don't worry about men
and careers and asian ovaries and money.
- Well, ladies?
Toast?
To Cassie.
Proof that being an awesome mom
doesn't mean putting your career on hold
and that we can do it all.
- To Mom do it all. - Yes.
- Hmm.
- So when do you start?
- I don't know.
I was supposed to have a fitting yesterday
but they cancelled it.
I should hear something soon.
- Well, I auditioned a few days ago
for Crack Whore Number Three.
I mean, damn, you would think
for as long as I have been in this business
that I would have least climb that ladder
to Crack Whore Number Two.
- At least you're booking,
I couldn't even get a dish commercial.
- Ah, yeah. That's because you're rewriting
the script in the room.
- Whatever. It needed it.
- Your time is coming, girls.
You're just circling the bullseye.
I got lucky this time.
- It's just getting so hard.
I mean, there's not even a casting couch anymore.
Wines team fuck that up.
- We're moving with talent and a little cleavage was enough.
Now, it's all about social media,
followers and all this bullshit.
- Seriously.
When cash me outside girl,
is rich and famous just from being a little biatch.
Something's wrong. - True.
We should write our own movie.
Cast ourselves as the lead.
Hollywood.
- Ooh.
Can I cast my love interests?
- Oh boy.
- I'm sorry.
Your six pack is a one pack.
Next.
Oh, wait, wait, you call that a dick?
I'm sorry, little penis man.
Next.
- It's not a terrible idea, you know?
- What?
- To cast ourselves in a movie.
- If it was that easy, wouldn't everyone be doing it?
- Not a real movie, a fake movie.
Just to, you know boost our social media hits.
Get on the radar.
- Hmm. Meet my future ex-husband.
- And when it blows up in your faces?
- Come on, Cassie.
Projects come and go all the time.
At the end of it,
we'll just say funding fell through or whatever.
- You're serious.
- I kind of am.
I mean, this is the kind of thinking
that it takes these days.
Look, I don't know about y'all
but I'm willing to take a leap
if it means getting to the next level.
- Our numbers will sky rocket.
Get the town talking?
Then everyone will want to take a meeting with us.
- I don't know, girls.
Sounds a bit risky to me.
- Whatever.
You just booked the job.
- And you can afford to play it safe.
- I'm not playing it safe, I'm just a little-
- Playing it safe. - Playing it safe.
- Risk averse.
- Come on y'all. I'm risk averse.
How about I don't play that?
- Homie don't play that.
- Ha ha. Very funny. Whatever.
- We're just playing.
- Ooh, can our fake movie be something
with lots of handsome guys?
Like, like a war movie?
- I don't wanna be around a bunch
of stinky dirty self-absorbed man.
I see enough of that at the gym.
- Science fiction?
It's the future and women rule the galaxy.
The men are just streamless, androids
who are loyal to their female masters.
- Holly, no. I see enough of that at work.
How about Lester?
- Yes.
Ride me cowboy.
- Right?
- Seriously. Y'all are bananas.
- Oh, ladies. It's set time.
I gotta work tonight.
- Yeah, me too.
- All right, ladies, go and make your coins.
And if you want to meet men, Holly.
Do it the traditional way.
- Tinder?
- Yes, Holly. Tinder.
I think that's how my grandparents met.
They swiped right.
- What you doing tonight, girl?
- Well, as a matter of fact,
I said it will be here soon because I have a date.
- What?
- Do we know him?
- Blind dates.
You know, I though ha.
What the hell? I've been divorced for what?
Two years now?
Therapist said it would be good for me, so.
- That's what I'm talking about.
Sometimes you just need to feed the beast.
- It's just dinner.
- Hmm. Dinner with a buttered biscuit.
- You're gross.
- Whatever.
Girl needs to eat once in a while.
No big deal.
- Just getting my feet wet.
- Let us know how it goes.
- I will. - Okay.
- Bye bye. - Bye.
- Yeah, bye girl. - Okay, whatever.
- So, that's why I think of myself as Sam
since he's the one who finally took down a White Walker.
Pretty cool, right?
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Darling.
So, Cassie.
Tell me about you.
Which one are you?
Cassie?
- I'm sorry. I was-
You said something?
- Which Game of Thrones character are you?
- I told you.
I haven't seen it.
- Please.
Good one, Cassie.
You have a wicked sense of humor.
You almost had me.
Hey, are you gonna eat that piece of cheese?
- For real.
I haven't seen it.
- I thought you were joking.
- Nope.
- Like when you say never, you mean like
never?
- Oh. It's my agent. I have to take this.
It's probably about this series I'm on.
- Hi, Brandon.
What's up?
- What?
Are you sure?
They won't even take a meeting?
No, no.
I understand.
I don't, actually.
It's very fucked up.
Are you sure?
Okay.
Thank you.
Bye.
I mean poof.
Ghosted me when I was on the phone.
- Yeah, but it wasn't going well anyway, right?
- No, it wasn't, but I should've been the one to ditch him.
Not the other way around.
Not to sound extra, but I'm way out of his league.
Way.
Oh, and get this.
The jerk off only leaves enough money to pay
for his part of the bill.
- Consider yourself lucky, girl.
At least, he saved you the awkward.
I don't want to go on another date with you conversation.
- I know. I know.
But could this day get any worse?
A blind date from hell and I'm recasting a show,
I haven't even started filming yet.
Couldn't the universe shit on me anymore?
- Quit your complaining girl.
Where I'm sitting, you got it pretty good.
- I know. - I know.
You make a good living.
Have a beautiful baby girl.
- You know why they replaced you?
- Apparently, I'm not black enough.
- What? The black panther?
Don't they know we ain't all hood rats?
- I guess not.
- Sweetheart, enough with the chit-chat.
I'm losing my shot, okay?
- Oh.
What if I do this?
- Hmm, yes.
- Oh yeah, baby.
Now you're talking.
That's it. Let's make it rain. That's right.
Here you go.
- Give it up for Jasmine everyone.
Brandy will make your weekend stay.
Brandy.
- Something better is gonna come along.
It's your time, Cassie.
- It's my time?
It's my time.
It's been my time for almost 10 years.
Pretty soon, the girls with pancake and down on my belly
and they'll be sending me out for Cicely Tyson's rolls.
- We're gonna make it, trust me.
I'm not gonna be doing this my whole life.
- I know. I'm sure there are a lot of smart,
talented girls here just waiting for their shot.
- Oh my God, Shar.
Can you check me and make sure my cup on string
isn't hanging out?
- Sure.
Yep. You're good, babe.
- Thanks, boo.
- Okay.
Gotta go.
Can't afford to keep a sitter too long.
Now that my big paycheck has been snatched from me.
- Okay, baby. Well, call me later if you need to talk, okay?
- Okay, baby. - Bye, baby.
Okay. - Bye.
- Hi Walter.
Having fun?
- Of course, I am.
Pretty girls.
Pumping music.
What's not to like?
- You feel like a dance?
- Have I ever said no?
- Oh, I got something for you.
I got you a present.
- Oh my.
It's lovely.
- It's for Bootsie. I know you said that he had surgery.
How did it go?
- Almost lost a little fella
but the vet said he's gonna be just fine now.
Best $5,000 I ever spent.
- What, the lasie?
Bootsie is a dog, right?
Five G's?
- Doug. Don't be silly.
- Okay, good. Cause for a minute-
- Chat. Money is no object
when it comes to my little Bootsie.
- Come on, baby.
- Hi.
Cassie?
Cassie.
Oh, sorry.
- That's okay.
Nicky.
- Nickie.
- Hi. - Hi!
I'm sorry. I was in the zone.
- Yeah. I haven't seen you
since you got that FedEx commercial.
- Right.
- Hey, I heard about the series of book.
Surprised to see you here.
- Yeah.
It didn't work out.
- What? What happened?
- Apparently, they decided I wasn't the right type.
I wasn't black enough.
- Hmm.
Yeah. I can see that. - Wait what?
- Well, I mean, you're the other type, you know?
- No.
I don't.
- Well, you're more the Kerry Washington type.
Halle Berry, you know the city type.
- Hi. I'm black.
Black is black.
There are many different kinds of black.
- I get it.
So did he-
- Oh, so we should all just be ghetto?
Hood or those more black?
- Of course not.
- Cassie Robbins?
- Good to see you, Cas.
Break a leg in there.
- Have a seat.
It's good to see you, Cassie.
- Thanks for bringing me in.
It's been a while. - It has been.
Last time I saw you, you had just popped out a baby.
- My little munchkin, Nita.
- Well, it's nice to see you back at it.
- Oh, well- - I think last time I saw you,
I said, you know, see you in a few years.
And now,
you're fat.
You're not dedicated.
You're too old.
You should straighten your hair.
You're never gonna make it.
Cassie?
- Oh, yes.
- You ready?
- Yeah.
Yeah. I'm ready.
Mabel?
Cassie Robbins.
I'm good.
I know. It's been a while.
Yeah. She's great.
Yeah and Amber.
Five.
I know. Can you believe it?
Listen, do you mind if I stop by
and chat with you real quick?
I have this really wild idea I wanna run by you.
- A fake movie?
- Think of it as, I don't know, a PR stunt.
- Sweetie, releasing your own sex tape is a PR stunt.
This is, I don't know.
Risky.
I mean the upside is that you get a temporary boost
in your social media numbers
and you might get in the trades
which could create some buzz.
- Right? - Down side is
people find out it's bullshit and you get blackball.
And in a town that's built on bullshit,
the bullshit is not gonna like
to get bullshit at themselves.
- You will know what every need to know.
You know, once we got what we needed,
we say that it ran out of funding
or it was put in turnaround.
Whatever.
- It's risky for you.
- I know but maybe we need to take a risk.
Otherwise, I'm gonna fall into a depression.
You know, Sharice is shaking her tits
in guys' faces to get by.
And Holly is parking cars for rich people in Beverly Hills.
We're really good actors. We just need a shot.
- Like I said, it's risky for you
but it's less risky for me.
- What do you mean?
- Y'all can't be dropping casting notices
and then hiding yourselves.
It's got to seem like it's legit.
So, you need a casting director.
Someone to drop the breakdown and set up audition.
- I can't ask you to get involved.
I just came here to get your opinion.
- My opinion is that you need my help.
Look.
I'm tired of day-to-day bullshit too.
The business isn't getting any easier.
It's getting harder, more complicated.
I kind of like the idea of spicing things up
and rolling the dice.
I mean, I'm in more good red
turn good shit fest, can I care?
You know, I had a brother come in here
with a gun the other day.
A real gun. - You kidding?
- And he shouted too.
God, I was gonna have to bust his ass.
- That's messed up.
- You heard about Francis Farrah?
- No, why?
- Bitch dropped dead in the middle
of a casting session the other day.
And the actor kept going too.
He wasn't about to give up
that opportunity for his audition.
Girl, this dress is getting to us all.
Francis, John Singleton, Kanye Well.
- He's not dead.
- Wouldn't that make America great again?
Listen.
I think we need to stir up the path.
- Really?
- What'd you get?
- Uh, what do you mean?
- What kind of movie, is it?
- Oh, we're thinking it's a Western.
- A Western?
- Yeah. Holly wants to audition a bunch of-
- Beefcake?
- Yes. Just as bonus.
It's been a minute for her.
- Tell me about a girl.
My couch is sealed up tighter than Trump's tax return.
Black female driven Western, huh?
That's current.
Good work.
With the me, too.
Hollywood's a white, bullshit.
- So?
- Yeah.
Yes, girl.
I'm in.
Let's blow this bitch, y'all.