[peaceful music]
♪ ♪
[tense music]
PERSON: Beth!
♪ ♪
- It's so easy.
Effortless.
People trust you
and everything that led you to this moment--
your instincts,
your taste,
the taste
because it tastes good.
I mean, this wine is just so drinkable, right?
I mean, this is your "couple coming in
"for a quick dinner before catching a Broadway show
"wanting to throw back a few glasses--or bottles--
"so they're in a good headspace to see
"the racial injustices of To Kill a Mockingbird
or Rent."
- I like it, I'm just not bananas about it.
- Exactly. - What was the one we were,
like, bananas for?
- Um, Raw Dog. - [groans] Yes!
Oh, my God, I love Raw Dog.
- What if it were that?
BETH: Right, no, I wish it were that.
I love that, but if you guys like bubbles,
we have a champagne that'll just...
[clicks tongue] Knock your blocks off.
- I actually love champagne. BETH: Stop.
- Yeah. - I love champagne.
- That's insane. JOHN: Yeah.
- And I just brought it up.
- I've always said, um,
champagne makes you feel like you're celebrating.
I don't know if that registers.
- Okay, that is mind-blowing.
I never thought of it that way.
- Yeah. BETH: Wow.
And actually, my-my partner
is the champagne rep for my same company.
So if you ever wanted...
- That's sweet. My-my aunt's gay, so I get it.
BETH: [chuckles] Okay.
I'm not gay, but I just-- I say "partner"
because I feel a little bit embarrassed saying "boyfriend"
just because I'm, like, you know, barreling toward 40.
- Oh. You don't look 40.
- Really? Thanks.
That's funny. I feel 100. [both chuckle]
Yeah, Matt, my boyfriend/partner always--
he always says I seem like I'm 100
just 'cause, you know, I'm like, whatever.
He's really funny.
That's--he always says stuff like that.
Like a rain cloud, all this, you know,
he's that guy who's, like, life of the party,
he has a million stories, he's so...
- Uh-huh. BETH: Yeah.
And we-we could get married, of course,
and we will, um.
I just--you know, we're-we're happy
with the way things are right now.
So, you know, it's one of those, like,
"Why change," um, yeah.
I don't even know if I want kids.
[scoffs] So.
Um. What was the question?
- No one asked a question. - Right.
Uh, no, I, um, I wanna hear about you.
Now, that is a story I'm interested--
how did you two get in this business?
- Oh, no. - No, no.
- Yes. You are so interesting.
I mean, I'll say it, you two are mysterious.
- I wouldn't say we're mysterious.
- I do get that. - Um, but it is--we are--
we do have kind of, like, a fascinating story.
It's, like, actually insane if you wanna hear it.
- Tell me every single thing.
- So I went to BU,
and I majored in communications, and...
- Yeah. BETH: Stop.
- And I transferred into BU from Tufts.
- From Tufts. - And I double-majored
in communications and marketing, so.
[discordant jazz music]
[inaudible]
♪ ♪
- Stop. - Why can't you stay for lunch?
I hate you, and now I loved you,
and now I hate you. BETH: [groans] I know.
I wanna stab myself in the fucking neck.
Like, get my aorta or whatever it is.
- Yes, jugular.
BETH: But we are going to see Jewel
when your stepmom and Jim are back in town.
- We are going to see Jewel! - Yes! Yes!
BETH: This is us in the audience.
KATE AND JOHN: Yes! BETH: You know it.
Okay, you guys. Keep killing. - Oh, my God.
- This is honestly the best day of my life.
- You better work. - Bye, doll. Aw.
[M.I.A.'s "Y.A.L.A."]
[upbeat electronic music]
♪ ♪
SINGER: ♪ YALA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Go low, go slow ♪
♪ Roll like a pollo ♪
♪ Up and down a pole ♪
♪ Like you're glowing up a yo-yo ♪
♪ Go low, go slow ♪
♪ Roll like a pollo ♪
♪ Up and down a pole ♪
♪ Like you're glowing up a yo-yo ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, YOLO ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, YOLO ♪
♪ Alarms go off when I enter the building ♪
MURRAY: Good afternoon, everyone.
As we head into our most important quarter
of the year here at Kerig, I wanna plant a seed
in your minds as salespeople.
When I got to this company,
it was failing, flatlining, and spiraling,
and now I am proud to say
we are plateauing.
[scattered applause] EMPLOYEE: Wow.
- Oh, go ahead. You can clap. EMPLOYEE: Okay.
- We don't pretend to be better than who we are.
And what are we?
- Mediocre? MURRAY: That's right--mediocre.
I want everyone at karaoke tonight.
Our biggest clients will be in attendance,
and with the Glaser Group, I want Matt running point,
and Beth, you're gonna be positioned
as whatever the guy who helps the point does.
BETH: Okay. They never remember me, though.
The Glaser Group. I'm just--
- Beth, you're gonna make 'em remember you,
and you're gonna sing tonight.
In fact, I expect all of you to sing your tushies off.
And Clark--over here, Clark. - Yes?
MURRAY: Nothing from Moana. [Clark sighs]
It's not age-appropriate. [Clark inhales sharply]
All right, Beth. - Yeah.
- Did you unload any of our fine malbecs today?
- [clears throat] Yeah, um,
I made some promises I'm not looking forward to keeping,
but I sold 70 cases in the room.
MURRAY: Whoa-oh! - Wow.
- So yeah, first appointment.
MURRAY: Yeah! That-a-girl! All right.
Come on, ring the bell.
- Uh, I--I'd rather skip it.
- No, no, you did so good.
Come on, ring the bell. - Yeah?
- Come on, they want you to do it.
Come on.
[bell chimes] Yes! All right.
Matt! Hey. MERI: Oh, my God!
MURRAY: Matty, how are ya?
How'd it go out there today, buddy?
- Hi, baby. MATT: Hey.
Well, I wanna apologize to everybody.
So I thought I'd be celebrating
with you all with some champagne, but...
I sold it all! [all yelling]
[applause]
CLARK: Oh, my God, you broke that bell!
MERI: You got me!
- Were you at Gramercy today?
- No, I was in the private room at um, uh--
Beth, what's that fuckin'-- uh, Daniel?
- Daniél. Very fancy. - Daniél!
That Zagat jerk-off frog palace everybody jerks off to.
Guess who walks in? - I don't know.
- Oh, I'm blanking on his name.
The--it's the rapper with the-- with the gravelly voice?
- Oh, Pitbull? That guy?
- Fucking Pitbulls. I could vomit.
- I hate that wiseass.
- So Pitbulls comes into the private room,
lights a cigar, and starts talking
full blast on his cell phone.
So I said, "Hey! Little man.
This is a private event. Take a hike."
- [laughs] - What?
MATT: Yeah. - Wait.
You actually said that to Pitbulls?
MATT: I did. - This is hilarious!
- I think it's just "Pitbull." You know, not "Pitbulls."
Like, it's not plural, it's just one Pitbull.
But y--oh, no, no, go ahead. It doesn't matter.
So then what happened? This is insane!
CLARK: Why are you obsessed with grammar?
- No, no, no, no, no.
Go, go, tell them-- we're having--
- Can I talk to you for a second?
- Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry for messing up the flow of that Pitbull story.
- Oh, no, I don't even think it was him.
I just thought it would sound funny.
Listen, I saw you ringing the sales bell?
- Yeah. - It went good today?
- Yeah, it went well, yeah.
- That's great. That's great. - Yeah.
I'm gonna go shopping with my mom, so.
- Tell her I love her.
- Yeah, I'll tell her you love her.
- Thanks. - Sure. Yeah.
- Hey. BETH: Hi.
- We're all here to support you tonight.
But between you and me, if Glaser doesn't go exclusive,
I'm gonna have to start letting people go.
- I got this. Easy. MURRAY: Yeah!
Who's my quarterback? There he goes! Come on!
[Matt grunting] Whoa!
Wayne Brady! There he is! [laughs]
Listen, Beth, they're asking for names
for East Coast sales manager.
What do you think?
- Meaning-- MURRAY: Mm-hmm.
- Uh, I--well, I'm interested, I think,
if-if that's what you mean. MURRAY: You think?
- Well, isn't Matt up for this? I mean...
- Well, honestly, Matt's right where he needs to be.
Uh, let me put it this way.
Elizabeth Taylor stars in the movie.
She doesn't direct it, you know what I mean?
- No, but, um-- yeah, but, okay.
I think I'm interested, yeah.
MURRAY: I'm doing my best to connect with ya.
Let's talk numbers.
You'd be making 100K a year, still no health insurance,
and three days in Naples, Florida.
- Wow. Naples, Florida.
That's--
I-I'm interested, yes.
Please submit my name or whatever.
MURRAY: All right. - Yeah.
[upbeat jazz music]
♪ ♪
- Beth! Hi!
Oh! Come here! [laughs]
Hi! Hi!
Oh, you look so healthy.
- Okay. Okay.
JANE: Oh. You look tired.
BETH: Mm-hmm.
- How's your back?
- It was feeling better. - Good.
I'm taking you to a fancy store.
- Ooh.
JANE: How is my Matty?
- He's good, he says "hi."
He loves you. JANE: Aw.
Oh, I love him. I love him back.
If anything ever happens with you two,
I will be there for him.
I want him to know that.
BETH: That's...weird.
[grunts]
This place is expensive. We should go somewhere else.
- Elsewhere, and no.
I wanna get you something from here.
I got approved for a Mastercard.
And I want you shopping in stores like this,
not Always 22 or wherever you normally shop.
- Would you ladies care for some champagne?
- Oh, uh, no thanks.
- No. - No thanks.
- No, I don't drink. I never have.
I have low blood sugar. But my daughter drinks a lot.
[laughs]
But apparently not today.
- [chuckles] Oh, um.
That's a lot of information to give a stranger.
JANE: Yeah, well, it's fine.
She sells wine for a living.
- Oh! Dream job. What kind of wine?
- Oh, mostly reds.
I--but I--I work for a company called Kerig Cellars.
It's a wine distributor.
- Kerig. I thought that was coffee.
- That's what I always-- don't I always say that?
- You do. - That's so funny.
- It's not that funny. - So funny.
- It's really not. It's, um, yeah.
It-it's spelled differently, and it's a wine company.
- But it sounds the same, so.
- Right, but it is different, so.
- People think--anyway, now I'm thinking about coffee.
I would like a cappuccino,
whole milk, dry, no sweetener.
I have my own Stevia in my bag. SALESPERSON: Okay.
- This isn't, like-- she's not a barista.
- Oh, she's fine. She can do it, she can do it.
What's your name, dear?
- Aminata. [Jane gasps]
- Amina--Aminata?
AMINATA: Yeah. JANE: [gasps] Oh.
Where are you from? - Queens.
My parents are from Mali. - Oh.
I went to Peru last year.
- Actually, I will take the-the champagne.
Thank you.
JANE: Thank you, Aminata.
It's a beautiful name.
- Mali's nowhere near Peru. - So?
- It's-it's not a good thing.
- Well, I'm--honey, I'm sorry.
People enjoy talking to me, and that makes you jealous.
It's okay. - [sighs]
People like talking to me. JANE: Mm-hmm.
- A lot of people like talking to me.
I'm up for a huge promotion at work.
JANE: Well. Mm-hmm. - It's huge.
JANE: They're very lucky to have you.
- Okay, well-- because it's a great job.
It's very great, actually.
People think it's really-- it's really cool.
JANE: Mm-hmm. - Okay?
And the-the clients we're taking out tonight
are-are a big deal. JANE: Okay.
Well, sweetheart, I just-- I don't know.
I-I-I always thought
you would do something... bigger.
- Bigger?
What are you talking about? I make good money.
JANE: No, I'm--no.
I mean, like more special. Like volleyball.
You were always so good at volleyball.
BETH: Oh, my God, Mom.
You think I should be
a professional volleyball player?
- Well, that's just one example.
All I'm saying, sweetheart,
you can be anything you wanna be.
[phone chimes] Oh.
[chuckles]
[laughs]
- Are you seeing someone?
JANE: Jerome is a friend.
- Um...
A friend?
- A very special friend.
He also happens to be the only man
I have ever truly cared about.
- That's great, Mom.
- I invited him to Matt's party.
- What?
JANE: What? - Well--
- I can't believe you're not happy for me.
- Is it appropriate, Mom?
I mean, is he single?
- Oh.
[clears throat]
We are just friends.
And you know what?
You are unhappy in your own life.
- [scoffs] I am so happy.
I am probably the most happy, satisfied person
in this entire mall.
I am. I love my cool life.
I have a cool job, I have a great apartment,
and Matt, my boyfriend, is a New York eight.
Nine. Eight.
AMINATA: How's it going in here, ladies?
- Great! So great! I'm gonna get the jumpsuit!
It's the only jumpsuit I've ever truly cared about.
AMINATA: Congratulations. - Thank you.
JANE: Beth. BETH: No, it's fine.
Mom, it's totally fine.
I am just in a rush, okay?
- Well, honey, you have a camel twat.
- Toe, Mom. I have camel toe.
Okay? That's what I have.
I love you, okay?
I'm--I just--and thank you for this jumpsuit.
I just have to go get ready for tonight.
- Well, maybe take a shower.
- I'm gonna shower already, Mom!
I don't need you to tell me to shower!
You know, I'm just--I-- I'm-I'm just--
I'm really happy. JANE: Okay.
- I just want you to know that.
And thank you for coming with me, okay?
JANE: I love you. - Okay, I love you.
JANE: Mm-hmm. - Okay.
I-I don't know why I got mad. JANE: It's okay.
- I'm sorry. I-I don't know why I got upset.
I'm just--okay, goodbye.
JANE: Goodbye. - Thank you.
- You're welcome, sweetheart. She has her period.
I can always tell. Her face gets--
BETH: I don't have my period.
Aminata, I don't have it.
But it would be fine if I did, but I don't.
I love you. - I love you.
- Thank you. Goodbye.
- She does.
- I don't--I don't care.
- Thank you, Aminata.
This feels cold.
- Why are you calling me? What happened?
Is Dad dead?
- No.
- Uh--did you see Mom?
- Yeah, we had a really nice time shopping.
ANN: Bullshit. Why are you calling me?
- I call you.
- When you wanna complain about Mom.
- You are so hard on her.
- Anything else?
- All right, I-I have one tiny, little thing
I might wanna complain about, but if I tell you,
you have to stay-- ANN: Hold on.
Alexa, please stop the music. BETH: You have to stay calm.
- I'm perfectly calm.
- Okay.
I think Mom's dating another married guy.
Look, she said they're just friend.
Maybe they are, but-- ANN: Yeah, okay.
You probably made her feel like it was all good, right?
- Pretty much. But no--I--no.
I-I planted a seed. I, like, stormed out.
- Yeah, right.
BETH: Like, she knew I was annoyed.
And that I didn't approve, you know?
She--she's probably still sitting there,
charming the saleswoman.
- 'Cause she cares more about what perfect strangers
think of her than her own kids.
- I just feel guilty.
Do you think I should call her and apologize?
- [sighs]
Alexa, resume music.
[phone beeps] BETH: Annie?
Annie?
[upbeat jazz music]
♪ ♪
Hi, Matt. MATT: Hey!
- [sighs]
Did you get me Sour Patch Kids?
- Yeah, they don't carry 'em at our bodega anymore.
- I know. Thanks.
- I'm grabbing a drink with those
Glaser Group people before karaoke.
You wanna come with? [Beth sighs]
- I'm invisible to them.
Wanna have sex?
After I shower?
- It's-it's just my class is about to start.
Otherwise, I'd get you pregnant right now.
- What does that mean? What do you--
MATT: Uh, it's an expression.
- I don't know about that.
[sighs] I don't even wanna have sex.
MATT: This instructor is a beast.
How's your mom?
[instructor speaking indistinctly]
- We left it kinda weird.
Maybe I should call her.
- She told me.
She wants you to call her.
- You know, I don't love that you guys talk that much.
MATT: Babe, sing at karaoke tonight.
Try to just, you know, be fun to be around.
- I'm awesome to be around.
[stammers]
You can tell I'm happy, right?
- Hey, babe, we're in Paris!
Personal best, babe!
[upbeat jazz music]
♪ ♪
[mellow jazz music]
♪ ♪
[line trilling]
JANE: Hi, this is Jane.
Leave a message, and I'll call you back.
♪ ♪
[upbeat music playing on speakers]
- Hey, bitch! Fireball!
- Do you ever worry you're wasting your potential?
MERI: Oh, my God, you have camel toe.
What's your favorite number?
- I keep getting calls from an unknown number.
Uh, 33?
- And then what's another one?
- Four. - Okay, that's your song.
I'm picking it for you. Where's Matt? Matt!
- Hey, slugger! BETH: Hey.
Come on. Come meet Diane. She wants to meet you.
- I'm the one they call. MATT: All right, so what?
- I've met Diane, like, eight times!
MATT: Hey, don't--Jesus, Beth, she's a drinker, okay?
Just turn it on, all right?
I'm too drunk to, like, explain to you right now.
Diane! Beth.
BETH: Hi! - Great to meet you!
BETH: Mm-hmm. - Yeah.
How do you-- how do you know Matt?
- Oh, um, uh,
how long you guys in town?
- Oh, we're just, um, we're just here for tonight.
We'll be back in a couple of weeks, though.
BETH: Okay. - Yeah.
Uh, can we--just-just tell me, what was your name again?
- Oh, my sister's calling, I'm sorry.
- Anyone here ever been to Hawaii?
There's a little girl who lives there,
and her name is Moana.
[cheers and applause]
MURRAY: No! No, no, no, no!
Clark, no. - Hello? Annie?
ANN: Hey, Beth, are you out?
- What?
ANN: Are you with Matt? - Yeah, why?
ANN: Can you, like, go outside
or in another room or something?
- Uh, no. [chuckles]
ANN: Uh, well...
Mom died.
- You killed Mom?
ANN: No, I'm not joking.
They couldn't reach you, so I got a call.
She's gone.
She was in a cab,
and it was chasing yellow lights or something,
and I don't know.
They got hit.
Beth, hello?
Hello?
DJ: Coming to the stage, we have Beth!
Beth is coming to the stage!
[cheers and applause]
MERI: Whoo! MURRAY: You got this, kid.
MERI: Whoo! You got it! - You got this. Nice.
[Ace of Base's "The Sign" playing]
♪ ♪
- ♪ I, I got a new life ♪
♪ You can hardly recognize me, I'm so glad ♪
♪ How could a person like me care for you? ♪
♪ Why do I bother ♪
♪ When you're not the one for me? ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Is enough enough? ♪
♪ I saw the sign ♪
♪ And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign ♪
♪ Life is demanding without understanding ♪
♪ I saw the sign ♪
♪ And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign ♪
♪ No one's gonna drag you up ♪
♪ To get into the light where you belong ♪
♪ But where do you belong? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I saw the sign ♪
♪ And it opened up my eyes ♪
♪ And I am happy now living without you ♪
♪ I've left you, oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ I saw the sign ♪
♪ And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign ♪
Drink!
MURRAY: Where you going? MATT: My queen!
DJ: All right, I guess Beth is done.
Uh, back to the stage, we have Clark!
- Anyone here like the ocean?
Here's a better question.
Anyone here a fan of the Rock?
[laughs] [cheers and applause]
[tense music]
♪ ♪
- [gasps]
[singers vocalizing]
[Lucius' "The Punisher"]
♪ ♪
SINGER: ♪ Sticks and stones break my bones ♪
♪ But words could kill me ♪
♪ I'm trying, trying not to lose my head ♪
♪ It feels like a punch in the face ♪
♪ The things you're saying ♪
♪ You gotta find another form ♪
♪ Of ventilation ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I know that it's not me you are after ♪
♪ I know your chest is burning with a heavy load ♪
♪ I can't be the matador when you are raging ♪
♪ You gotta find another form ♪
♪ Of recreation ♪
- It's so easy!