1 00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:02,169 - Why didn't you say you love me back? 2 00:00:02,252 --> 00:00:05,255 - Uh... I don't know. 3 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,466 We're j-- we're just kind of getting to know each other, 4 00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:08,675 and... [gunshot] 5 00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:10,886 [shouts] 6 00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:12,054 - [panting] 7 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,223 [dramatic music plays] 8 00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:16,934 ♪ 9 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,686 - Any last words before I blow your brains out? 10 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,190 - Don't shoot me, okay? 11 00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:24,525 You ain't got to do this. 12 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:28,946 You ain't got to do this, man. 13 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,034 Yeah. 14 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,744 Just let me... 15 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,454 [kissy noises] 16 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,789 - Why are you doing that? 17 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,084 Cut it out! -[kissy noises] 18 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,460 - Stop it! 19 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,628 You look at me when I kill you. 20 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,630 Look at me! 21 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,632 I know that there's nothing up there. 22 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,219 [screeching] [shouting] 23 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,356 [high-pitched ringing] 24 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,899 - [panting, grunts] 25 00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:23,834 Ah! Shit. 26 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,502 Ah! 27 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,589 Ah... Ah! 28 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,007 JORDAN: Go home. 29 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,800 I'm sure there's a real hero somewhere 30 00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:33,135 in need of a goofy sidekick. 31 00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:34,386 [Kevin panting] 32 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:35,971 JORDAN: Well, you're not alone... 33 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,806 anymore. 34 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,643 - [panting] 35 00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,813 I've got you, I promise. 36 00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:47,191 Kevin! 37 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,692 Focus. 38 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,451 [screaming] 39 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,913 [thudding] 40 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,873 [squirrel chittering] 41 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,041 KEVIN: I owe you one. 42 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,293 [chitters] [kissy noises] 43 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:07,461 [chitters] 44 00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,546 [dramatic music plays] 45 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:14,218 [pulsing music plays] 46 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,677 It's a simple jump. 47 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,432 Three, two, one. 48 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:23,310 [dramatic music plays] 49 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,353 [hawk screeches] 50 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:27,564 Yes. 51 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,359 Hey. 52 00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:33,320 Hey, come on. Jordan, no. 53 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,615 Come on, get up, get up. Jordan, no. 54 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,242 Look at me, look at me. 55 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,869 No. Don't you die, don't you die. 56 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:42,371 I'm not gonna let you die. 57 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,415 Come on, Jordan, you c... 58 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,543 you can't, you can't die, not... 59 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,878 [sniffles] Come on, Jordan, get up. 60 00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:51,713 Don't d... [cries] 61 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:54,132 Jordan! Jordan! 62 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:57,135 I jumped. I got over here. 63 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,428 Jordan? 64 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:01,014 I fucking jumped. 65 00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:02,975 [crying] 66 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,601 I fucking jumped. 67 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,812 [dramatic music plays] 68 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,064 I fucking... 69 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,149 Breathe. - [clapping] 70 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:16,488 Bravo. It's a wrap, everybody. 71 00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:19,283 - [cheering, applause] CLAUDE: Bravo. 72 00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,370 - [quietly]: The fuck...? 73 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,039 A wrap? 74 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,749 - Agent Hart! 75 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:28,876 - Coach Ron? 76 00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,544 - [whoops] Yeah! 77 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,047 - Yeah. - [laughs] Oh, yeah. 78 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,841 - The fuck is happening? 79 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,761 - [laughs] Hey, man, it was good working with you. 80 00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:41,805 No hard feelings, man. Sorry. 81 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,891 - [cheering, whooping] 82 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:49,897 - Hi. 83 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:52,024 - Oh, no. Come on, Jordan. 84 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:54,026 This was a part of it, too? 85 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,652 - Yeah. Sorry, Kevin. 86 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,279 - Jordan. 87 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,573 But I really thought that I lost you. 88 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,284 - Oh, Kevin. - No... 89 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,661 - Well, I guess I'm glad that you're alive. 90 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,915 - Well, movie magic. [chuckles] 91 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:09,583 - [laughs softly] 92 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:10,792 CLAUDE: Very good. KEVIN: Movie magic. 93 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,044 CLAUDE: Very good. 94 00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:15,255 [dramatic music plays] 95 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:16,673 KEVIN [over speaker]: Jordan, no. 96 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,842 Come on, get up, get up. 97 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,928 Jordan, you can't do this. Don't die. 98 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,763 [sniffles] Come on, Jordan, get up. 99 00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:25,766 Don't d... [cries] Jordan! 100 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,976 Jordan! 101 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:31,563 I did it, I jumped. I got over here. 102 00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:34,775 Jordan? I fucking jumped. 103 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,777 - [crying] 104 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,488 - I fucking jumped. 105 00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:58,006 - [exhales] Well? 106 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:06,473 - That may be the strangest movie I've ever seen. 107 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:14,022 So bizarre and-and... violent. 108 00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:20,487 And yet... 109 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:23,073 authentic. 110 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,409 - [exhales] - You can't teach 111 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,785 acting like that. 112 00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:28,161 - So you liked it? - Like it? 113 00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,788 I like kidney-shaped swimming pools. 114 00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:32,207 I like reduced-fat eggnog. 115 00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:35,586 This movie, I loved. 116 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,130 - He loves it. 117 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,715 - How does it feel to be a leading man 118 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,258 in your own action movie? 119 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,385 - Wow. CLAUDE: Kevin. 120 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:46,263 Please. - Oh, the center stage. 121 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,723 - [applause] - Uh... 122 00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:50,517 No, stop, stop. Guys. 123 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:53,395 Well, I learned two things. 124 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,397 The first thing is that it's dangerous. 125 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,400 It's dangerous as hell. I mean, I was set on fire, 126 00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,027 I was hit in the head with a bat... - [laughter] 127 00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:01,361 - ...punched, kicked. 128 00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:03,322 I'm really gonna be scarred. - That was f... 129 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,698 - No, I'm serious-- I don't know 130 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,700 why you're laughing. I'm being very serious. 131 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,994 I'm gonna have real issues because of this guy right here. 132 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,787 - Fuck yeah! - It's-- no... 133 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:14,041 It's not a "fuck yeah." It's-it's a serious thing. 134 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,959 [dramatic music plays] 135 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:19,129 The second thing that I learned is that, uh... 136 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,759 ...there's no such thing as a leading man. 137 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,679 Because you're nothing without your costars. 138 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:34,478 And I had that in-in you guys, so thank you-- Come on. 139 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,313 Get up here. Seriously. - [applause] 140 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,523 - Get up here. - Buddy. 141 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,358 - Take this in. Take it in with me. 142 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:41,777 [chuckles] Wait, wait. Do I get top billing? 143 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,153 - [whispers] Yeah. You have top billing. 144 00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:45,239 - Nice. I didn't-- I forgot to ask. 145 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,282 - Well, I think it's time to celebrate. - Yes! 146 00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:48,825 - Looks like we've got a hit on our hands. 147 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,119 - Claude. Congratulations. - Yeah, yeah. 148 00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:53,205 Hey. Congratulations, everybody. - [applause] 149 00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:56,667 LEAH: [laughs] Ladies and gentlemen, 150 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,252 we have a real treat for you today. 151 00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,045 - Okay-- wait, wait, wait, wait, easy with the spoilers. 152 00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,713 This requires a little dramatic buildup. 153 00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:03,340 - Okay. Here it is. 154 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,175 Now you know that I'm not a big fan 155 00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,761 of these high-budget action films. 156 00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:11,014 - Here she goes again, with her love of fancy foreign films. 157 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,016 - I have discerning taste. This is my buildup. 158 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,977 This is what you requested. - Continue. 159 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,187 - This movie by Claude Van De Velde moved me. 160 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,439 I got to say. - It's an incredible film. 161 00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:21,316 - And... - I've seen it 27 times. 162 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,776 Team Van De Velde right here. - [cheering, applause] 163 00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,486 - The hero of this movie 164 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,488 is not the action star that you would expect. 165 00:07:26,572 --> 00:07:29,741 The one that really saves the day. 166 00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:31,451 Well, we have him here today. 167 00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,579 Ladies and gentlemen... - [cheering, applause] 168 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,789 - ...Sassy the Squirrel. [chitters] 169 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:37,207 - Aw, Sassy... 170 00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:38,917 - Oh, you're a lot bigger in person. 171 00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,961 - Oh, hell no.