1 00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:01,919 JORDAN: Is he okay? - [coughing] 2 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,629 WILCOX: Oh, he's fine. 3 00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:05,214 When Gal Gadot was training with me, 4 00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:06,924 she was on fire for 12 minutes. 5 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,759 She put herself out with a blanket. 6 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,887 He barely lasted 12 seconds. - [both chuckle] 7 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,180 - This is funny to you? - Hey. 8 00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:16,850 A leading man must learn not to sweat the small stuff. 9 00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,685 - What are you talking about, the small stuff? 10 00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,062 I was on fucking fire, 11 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:22,064 Coach Ron! - Hey! Knock it off. 12 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,899 There's a lady present, and I want you to meet her. 13 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,193 Agent Hart, this is Agent Jordan King. 14 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,986 She'll be your bunkmate. 15 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,322 - It is a pleasure to meet you. My pleasure. 16 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:31,573 Okay, you want to explain to me why she gets 17 00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:32,824 this nice introduction? 18 00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:34,576 Why isn't she getting hit in the head with a bat? 19 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:35,744 When you gonna bop her? 20 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,204 - Excuse me? - Okay, you know... 21 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,706 [chuckles] Just, when he does this kind of thing, 22 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,959 I just zone him out, when he starts to whine. 23 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,753 Come on, I'll give you a tour. - Okay. 24 00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:47,214 - Now, this used to be a slaughterhouse years ago, 25 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,590 up till the '70s. 26 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:52,094 [dramatic music plays] 27 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:55,347 WILCOX: This brings me to rule number two: 28 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:58,016 there will be no sexual intercourse on the premises. 29 00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:02,980 - [chuckles] Uh, yeah, um, that won't be a problem. 30 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,898 - [both laugh] 31 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:07,401 - I didn't think it would be. 32 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:08,569 - I know you have to say it. 33 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:11,321 It-it's fine, we're good. [laughs] 34 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,990 - All right. So, hey, take a beat. 35 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,325 Okay? Relax, and we'll see you out in 20 36 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,953 on the training ground, okay? 37 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:18,996 - Thanks, Ron. You're the best. 38 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,832 - Hey. It's a pleasure. 39 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,500 [laughs] 40 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,127 [door closes] 41 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,963 - Dude is a fucking sociopath. 42 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,173 - How do you mean? 43 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:30,883 - How do I mean? 44 00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:32,593 Do you really want to know how I mean? 45 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:35,053 'Cause I was here a couple days ago when shit hit the fan. 46 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,597 There was a guy in here accusing him 47 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,807 of murdering some dude named Rodrigo. 48 00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:40,893 - Rodrigo? - Yes, Rodrigo. 49 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:43,103 Saw the whole thing. And, when I first walked in this bitch, 50 00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:44,646 they hit me in the head with a bat. 51 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:47,441 Not no plastic bat. With a fucking metal bat. 52 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,068 And today, today, he let me catch myself on fire. 53 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,696 - "Let me catch myself on fire." 54 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,406 - I don't know why you got to sound it out. Yes. 55 00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:56,366 Let me catch-- 56 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,118 No, I see right there, that, 'cause if you slow it down... 57 00:01:58,202 --> 00:01:59,703 You slow it down, it don't sound right, 58 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:00,954 but you get what I'm saying. 59 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:03,040 It happened. It fucking happened. 60 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,209 Look, I'm sorry, all right? It's just, 61 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,878 I don't have my phone, it's weird in here. 62 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,505 Stuff is just starting to fuck with me. 63 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:12,090 Maybe, maybe I'm going a little stir-crazy. 64 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:13,300 I don't know. 65 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,136 Mmm-- That's shit. 66 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,721 It's shit water. 67 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,641 [sniffs] Yep. Goddamn it. 68 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:24,520 - Well, you're not alone anymore. So... 69 00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,939 - Yeah, well, maybe, but... 70 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:30,150 Hey, do I know you? 71 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:32,402 - Uh... 72 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,864 - [gasps] I do! 73 00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:38,575 Fuck! You're the girl from that sitcom, with the robot. 74 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:39,868 The robot that was a butler, right? 75 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:41,119 You used to argue with the butler. 76 00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,038 "Uh-uh, get the fuck out of here, bu..." 77 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:45,332 You'd do the thing. "Butler bitch." 78 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,835 Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah. 79 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,253 That's me. - Wow. 80 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,381 - Well, was. I just quit. 81 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,049 Kathryn Bigelow offered me the lead 82 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,343 in her next movie, which is huge... 83 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,678 - Get out. - ...since there are, like, 84 00:02:57,761 --> 00:03:00,472 what, three total action roles for women? 85 00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:04,226 - Well, it's a lot more than that, but congrats. 86 00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,354 Are you-- I mean, want me to name 'em? 87 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,523 [chuckles] Let me go down the list. 88 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,942 You got Wonder Woman, right? You have the Black Widow. 89 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,320 You got, um... What's the one, with the woman? 90 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,114 With the, uh... [snapping fingers] 91 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,949 She's, uh... 92 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,159 The-- What's... That's three. 93 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:25,289 - Anyway, um, it's all riding on this action school. 94 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,499 Just got to prove to Ron that I've got the chops, 95 00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,126 that I'm fit enough. 96 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,296 - You ain't got to prove that to nobody. You are fit. 97 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:35,674 [chuckles] When you walked in that door, I said, "Goddamn." 98 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:38,510 [laughs] Not like that. 99 00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:39,761 I'm not saying it like that. 100 00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:41,638 I don't mean it that way. 101 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:42,764 - I'm just here to train, 102 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:43,974 not make friends. - Yeah. 103 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,018 - So, just to be clear. 104 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:49,354 - We're-we're here for the same thing, right? Fuck friendship. 105 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,148 - Good. - Yeah. 106 00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:53,650 - Mind if I use the bathroom? 107 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,569 - Do what you got to do. Bathroom right there. 108 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,862 - Yeah. 109 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:59,698 I'm gonna need you to just... 110 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,993 - Oh. You got to shit. 111 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,704 [dramatic music playing] 112 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,706 WILCOX: Now, in this lesson, 113 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:12,002 we're going to focus and explore the action star's motivations. 114 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,463 Agent King. What is your motivation? 115 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,465 - After working undercover in Paris, 116 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:18,091 I go down to the basement of the Louvre, 117 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:21,220 where I thwart the theft of an ancient Egyptian artifact, 118 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:23,722 when I'm accosted by a rogue agent. 119 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,140 - Good. Agent Hart? 120 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,267 - "Accost"? That's a little strong, isn't it? 121 00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,144 - What the fuck? 122 00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:31,146 Focus. Focus. 123 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,565 And...? 124 00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,984 - Okay, all right. I'm-I'm an agent. 125 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,237 - Yes. - I'm an agent, and, 126 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,906 um, basically, I got to, I got to go get 127 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,116 Agent King-- I got to seduce, 128 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,827 I got to seduce Agent King in the basement of the Louvre. 129 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:48,997 And wh-- Just a question, is this, like, some James Bond 130 00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:51,124 fan fiction or something? What...? - And action. 131 00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:56,505 [suspenseful music playing] 132 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,217 Agent King? 133 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,803 - Who wants to know? 134 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,346 - Agent Hart. 135 00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:07,391 Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. 136 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,226 Not so fast. 137 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,937 Look, you're in great danger. 138 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:15,274 And the only cure for it is to come with me to my bedroom. 139 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:19,945 [squeaks] 140 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,573 [yelping] - Seduce her, goddamn it! 141 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,325 Seduce her! 142 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,785 Lure her into the car! 143 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,788 - [yelps] 144 00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:31,164 [wheezes] 145 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,129 [high-pitched]: Get in my car. 146 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,422 Get in my car? 147 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,549 Fucking creep. 148 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:43,135 - [regular pitch]: What'd you call...? [grunts] 149 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,929 [grunting] 150 00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:51,226 [groans] 151 00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,978 What the fuck was that? WILCOX: Beautiful, beautiful. 152 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,646 Keep going, keep going. 153 00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:56,732 - What the fuck you mean, "keep going"? 154 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,401 What the fuck, man? - You have a problem, Agent Hart? 155 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,195 - Yeah, I got a problem, motherfucker. - What is it? 156 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,238 - She's Bruce Lee and I'm some weird creeper. 157 00:06:03,322 --> 00:06:06,074 - Oh, it's too challenging for you to seduce her. Is that it? 158 00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:09,536 - Uh, yes, it is, when you got me looking... 159 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,958 I see what you're doing. [laughs] 160 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,585 You're trying to get me all riled up. 161 00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:18,128 It's not gonna work. 162 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,838 I'm not falling for your little trap, 163 00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,507 and I'm not going back over here to fight 164 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:24,134 this fucking jiujitsu master with sexy talk. 165 00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:26,512 - Oh. You want a change of motivation. 166 00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,972 - Yeah, I do. - Okay. This is your new motivation. 167 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,808 She's a Russian mole pretending to be an FBI agent. 168 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,269 You eliminate her with this. 169 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:36,730 [whispers]: It's a prop knife, right? 170 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,857 - Retractable. 171 00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:41,777 Now go in there and show her who's boss. 172 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,196 - Now we're fucking talking. 173 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,032 You say she a Russian mole, right? 174 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:50,244 Okay. I don't like that. 175 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:53,413 Down goes the mole. Huh? [grunts] 176 00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:57,543 Shit. Goddamn it. 177 00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,711 [whispers] Hey. I'm about to stab you in a sec, okay? 178 00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:01,004 Wait a minute. 179 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,882 It's a prop knife. Knock it off-- No. 180 00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:06,426 Ow! What the... Oh, oh, you got to sell it, 181 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:07,553 make it look real. 182 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:10,305 Fuck! Ow! 183 00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,519 - [screams] What the fuck?! 184 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:16,937 [groans] - Real blood. 185 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,730 [knife clatters] [belches] 186 00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,357 JORDAN: Oh, my God. WILCOX: What have you done to her? 187 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,818 What have you done to her? 188 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:24,236 - I'm so sorry. I thought, 189 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,696 I thought you said it was a retractable. 190 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,239 - Oh, God. - I said it was "practical." 191 00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,575 It's a practical knife! It's a real knife! 192 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,660 - Oh, my God. - Oh, God, she's passing out. 193 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,704 - Oh, shit. - I'm gonna have to stitch her up. 194 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,122 - I've got a medical kit in my office. 195 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,582 - All right, I'll go grab it. - No. 196 00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,000 -Ow, ow, ow. -Go to your room! 197 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,168 You're grounded! 198 00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:40,377 - No. What are you talking about? I'll go grab it. 199 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,337 - No! 200 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:45,174 My office is off-limits to students. 201 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:54,641 I said my office is off-limits. 202 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,519 If you disobey me again, 203 00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:59,521 the next time I throw that knife, 204 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,064 it'll be through your fucking skull.