1
00:00:02,754 --> 00:00:06,049
[Kevin's muffled groaning]

2
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:14,349
[Kevin groaning]

3
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,812
[clicking]

4
00:00:24,484 --> 00:00:27,112
[Kevin yelling]

5
00:00:32,826 --> 00:00:35,620
[Kevin groaning]

6
00:00:38,164 --> 00:00:39,541
[screaming]

7
00:00:42,377 --> 00:00:43,587
Back up!

8
00:00:43,587 --> 00:00:45,213
Get your ass back!

9
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,715
I don't know who you think
you messing with,

10
00:00:46,715 --> 00:00:47,841
but I'll tell you got--

11
00:00:47,841 --> 00:00:49,467
Oh, shit.

12
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:51,595
He gonna fucking eat my ass.

13
00:00:52,429 --> 00:00:53,597
You're gonna eat my ass

14
00:00:53,597 --> 00:00:55,599
and set me on fire
or some shit, ain't you?

15
00:00:55,599 --> 00:00:58,018
Who are you? Huh?

16
00:00:58,018 --> 00:01:00,812
Where am I? Tell me--tell me...
tell me where I'm at.

17
00:01:00,812 --> 00:01:03,189
Oh, wait a minute.

18
00:01:03,189 --> 00:01:05,233
Do you work...
do you work for Karl Stromberg?

19
00:01:10,030 --> 00:01:11,823
I said do you work
for Karl Stromberg?

20
00:01:17,412 --> 00:01:18,413
Okay.

21
00:01:20,290 --> 00:01:24,044
Okay. Okay, we in it.
This is it.

22
00:01:24,044 --> 00:01:27,464
We're doing it. Okay, Karl!
I like it. I like it.

23
00:01:27,464 --> 00:01:29,549
Um, okay. Shit.

24
00:01:29,549 --> 00:01:31,468
Okay. Let me see where are...
where are we in the script.

25
00:01:31,468 --> 00:01:34,429
God, my adrenaline is
flowing so much. You got me.

26
00:01:34,429 --> 00:01:36,806
[chuckles] I thought you was
really trying to eat my ass.

27
00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:38,808
All right. Uh, okay.
Three, two, one.

28
00:01:39,935 --> 00:01:42,687
Okay. Rice, peas, carrots.
Let's go. [sniffs]

29
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:50,362
You know, I've been searching
the globe for you.

30
00:01:51,363 --> 00:01:53,823
You're a hard man
to find Mr. Bartholomew.

31
00:01:59,746 --> 00:02:01,373
I think you got a line.

32
00:02:02,332 --> 00:02:03,416
You got a line.

33
00:02:04,626 --> 00:02:07,629
Uh, you say your part,
then I'll react off of that

34
00:02:07,629 --> 00:02:09,881
because what you say
sets me up to now...

35
00:02:09,881 --> 00:02:11,800
unless you're not union. Are...

36
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,426
Is he union or no?

37
00:02:14,052 --> 00:02:17,639
- Guys, can you not-- Okay.
- [shears chopping]

38
00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:19,808
Oh, rewrite.
There must've been pink pages.

39
00:02:19,808 --> 00:02:21,518
Okay, uh, let me get back in it.

40
00:02:22,769 --> 00:02:26,731
[sniffs] What you gonna do
with those?

41
00:02:26,731 --> 00:02:31,069
Chop off my finger? Hmm?
Cut off my leg, my foot?

42
00:02:31,069 --> 00:02:32,779
[shears chopping]

43
00:02:32,779 --> 00:02:35,657
Newsflash, I only need one foot
to kick your ass.

44
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:39,786
That is a trailer moment.

45
00:02:39,786 --> 00:02:41,079
- Guys, I only--
- [static]

46
00:02:41,079 --> 00:02:43,456
[male voice, over speaker]
<i>Good evening.</i>

47
00:02:43,456 --> 00:02:46,084
<i>Do not use
the shears on this man.</i>

48
00:02:46,877 --> 00:02:50,171
Is that... is that the producer?
Is that Karl? Karl!

49
00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:52,674
[male voice, over speaker]
<i>He must atone for his sins.</i>

50
00:02:52,674 --> 00:02:53,633
[shears chopping]

51
00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:56,219
What is that,
atone for my... I don't know.

52
00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:57,846
[male voice, over speaker]
<i>He must feel the pain</i>

53
00:02:57,846 --> 00:02:59,556
<i>he has made others feel.</i>

54
00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:05,270
Yeah, I'm lost, guys.
I don't know where we are.

55
00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:08,899
Um, if we're gonna do a rewrite,
GR's gotta give me the pages.

56
00:03:08,899 --> 00:03:10,817
I'll stay in it.
I'll stay in it. Um...

57
00:03:10,817 --> 00:03:12,819
[machine revving]

58
00:03:13,904 --> 00:03:16,197
Okay. All right. Okay.

59
00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:17,741
Why don't we...
why don't we take it easy?

60
00:03:17,741 --> 00:03:19,367
'Cause I know
why you're mad, huh?

61
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,119
You mad because I...
Stop right there.

62
00:03:21,119 --> 00:03:22,287
Let's stop right there.
No, no, no.

63
00:03:22,287 --> 00:03:24,205
Let's make that your mark.
Whoa. No. Stop right there.

64
00:03:24,789 --> 00:03:27,918
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey!

65
00:03:27,918 --> 00:03:29,211
[male voice, over speaker]
<i>Count to ten.</i>

66
00:03:29,211 --> 00:03:33,798
No. Fuck you! Wait.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, man! Hey!

67
00:03:33,798 --> 00:03:35,217
Oh, no, no, no.

68
00:03:35,217 --> 00:03:36,676
Don't cut my dick.
Don't cut my dick.

69
00:03:36,676 --> 00:03:39,137
That's a... Okay.
Using it... Use... I'mma use it.

70
00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:41,681
Stay in it. [grunting]

71
00:03:42,849 --> 00:03:43,934
Yeah!

72
00:03:46,603 --> 00:03:50,023
[grunting]

73
00:03:51,441 --> 00:03:53,944
One, two...

74
00:03:56,112 --> 00:03:58,657
Come on. Come on.

75
00:03:58,657 --> 00:04:00,909
[groaning]

76
00:04:08,208 --> 00:04:10,293
[breathing heavily]

77
00:04:12,712 --> 00:04:15,215
Dammit. No, not today.

78
00:04:15,215 --> 00:04:16,925
[Kevin grunting]

79
00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:20,387
Yeah! Did we get it? Huh?

80
00:04:20,387 --> 00:04:23,598
[chuckling] Spin it.
We got it. Yeah.

81
00:04:25,183 --> 00:04:28,270
[dramatic music]

82
00:04:28,270 --> 00:04:30,438
Come and lay your ass, Montoya.

83
00:04:31,731 --> 00:04:34,192
This looks incredible.
It's so good.

84
00:04:37,195 --> 00:04:38,238
Shit.

85
00:04:39,155 --> 00:04:40,615
It's Montoya's men.

86
00:04:49,416 --> 00:04:50,792
[Kevin exhales]

87
00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:52,168
[muffled scream]

88
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:55,505
Jordan?
The hell are you doing here?

89
00:04:55,505 --> 00:04:57,132
[muffled speaking]

90
00:04:59,301 --> 00:05:01,970
Son of a bitch.
Did they hurt you?

91
00:05:01,970 --> 00:05:03,513
Hmm? Did they hurt you?

92
00:05:03,513 --> 00:05:05,557
Kevin, what the hell
is going on?

93
00:05:05,557 --> 00:05:08,059
The uranium heist.
That's what's going on.

94
00:05:08,059 --> 00:05:10,604
- The what?
- I already handled Bartholomew.

95
00:05:10,604 --> 00:05:12,188
But General Montoya,

96
00:05:12,188 --> 00:05:13,940
he's not gonna
let us off this easy.

97
00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:16,818
What the hell
are you talking about?

98
00:05:17,569 --> 00:05:18,820
[Kevin] Shit.

99
00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:20,030
I was walking my dog

100
00:05:20,030 --> 00:05:22,407
and someone hit me
in the fucking neck

101
00:05:22,407 --> 00:05:23,867
with a tranquilizer dart.

102
00:05:23,867 --> 00:05:25,702
- Huh?
- And I ended up here.

103
00:05:25,702 --> 00:05:27,454
What are you talking about?

104
00:05:27,454 --> 00:05:29,289
You didn't talk
to Karl Stromberg?

105
00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:30,498
Who? [pants]

106
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,792
Karl Stromberg. About the movie.

107
00:05:32,792 --> 00:05:35,378
Right now, we're in it.
This is the movie.

108
00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:36,755
It's a live action movie.

109
00:05:36,755 --> 00:05:39,049
We're improving
all the action scenes.

110
00:05:39,049 --> 00:05:41,927
No green screen,
no fucking cables.

111
00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:43,220
It's real. Raw.

112
00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:44,721
It's gonna take my acting career

113
00:05:44,721 --> 00:05:46,556
and my action status
to the next level.

114
00:05:46,556 --> 00:05:47,849
So this is all your fault?

115
00:05:48,975 --> 00:05:50,435
Well, I mean, this my script.
It took me...

116
00:05:50,435 --> 00:05:51,686
I don't know
how long to develop it

117
00:05:51,686 --> 00:05:53,355
- but Karl did--
- What the hell is your problem?

118
00:05:53,355 --> 00:05:54,314
Stop. What are you--

119
00:05:54,314 --> 00:05:55,941
- What is wrong with you?
- Shit. Ow!

120
00:05:55,941 --> 00:05:58,610
- I didn't do anything.
- Shit. That's sharp.

121
00:05:58,610 --> 00:06:00,528
How long were you
laying on that?

122
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:01,947
Damn it.

123
00:06:01,947 --> 00:06:03,949
And why you got an attitude?

124
00:06:03,949 --> 00:06:07,953
This is a simple outline.
It's a lay-up, okay?

125
00:06:07,953 --> 00:06:09,329
I'm a triple agent.

126
00:06:09,329 --> 00:06:11,957
MI7,
I'm the highest of high, right?

127
00:06:11,957 --> 00:06:13,792
Like you can't get higher
than where I am.

128
00:06:13,792 --> 00:06:15,669
But you,
you're my love interest.

129
00:06:15,669 --> 00:06:16,711
They took you hostage

130
00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:17,963
'cause they knew
it's the only way to get to me.

131
00:06:17,963 --> 00:06:20,048
So now I'm here
and I got to get you.

132
00:06:20,048 --> 00:06:21,424
- You understand what I'm saying?
- You're classic,

133
00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:24,719
and I'm pretty sure
that kidnaping is a felony.

134
00:06:24,719 --> 00:06:27,055
Well, I'm pretty sure that
when you're an adult,

135
00:06:27,055 --> 00:06:28,348
they don't call it kidnapping.

136
00:06:28,348 --> 00:06:31,851
- So that's... that's pathetic.
- Fuck you, Kevin.

137
00:06:31,851 --> 00:06:34,229
What do you mean, fuck me?
Why you mad at me?

138
00:06:34,229 --> 00:06:35,689
You should be mad
at Karl Stromberg.

139
00:06:35,689 --> 00:06:37,899
I do not know who that is.

140
00:06:37,899 --> 00:06:39,442
[Kevin] Shh.

141
00:06:43,613 --> 00:06:44,990
You don't want them to hear you.

142
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:47,033
Who? Who will hear me?

143
00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:50,120
There's no one here,
and do not say Karl Stromberg.

144
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,664
Are you saying Strum or Strong?
Is it Strongberg, Stromberg?

145
00:06:52,664 --> 00:06:54,040
'Cause I don't know
what that... Okay.

146
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:57,294
Hey, hey,
there are cameras everywhere.

147
00:06:57,294 --> 00:06:59,588
We're filming a movie.

148
00:06:59,588 --> 00:07:04,092
Where? Where?
There are no cameras anywhere.

149
00:07:04,092 --> 00:07:07,220
Will you look around?
There's cameras everywhere.

150
00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:08,972
Okay, listen, listen.

151
00:07:08,972 --> 00:07:12,183
All I need you to do
is just grasp what's going on.

152
00:07:12,183 --> 00:07:14,269
This is a big opportunity
for both of us.

153
00:07:14,269 --> 00:07:16,271
Okay, just get in character.

154
00:07:16,271 --> 00:07:18,064
- [clears throat]
- Please?

155
00:07:23,069 --> 00:07:25,572
They got this place locked down
tighter than Fort Knox.

156
00:07:25,572 --> 00:07:28,241
Oh, God. You're right.
It's tight out.

157
00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:31,202
Those motherfuckers knew
I will come rescue you,

158
00:07:31,202 --> 00:07:33,496
a beautiful damsel
in distress like yourself.

159
00:07:35,707 --> 00:07:39,211
Yeah. Thank you for rescuing me.

160
00:07:39,211 --> 00:07:41,880
Just like any woman,

161
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:45,467
I wouldn't know what to do
if a man didn't show up

162
00:07:45,467 --> 00:07:47,510
to save me and tell me to eat

163
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,971
so I don't starve
and breathe oxygen.

164
00:07:49,971 --> 00:07:52,349
- So that I don't suffocate.
- Let's cut. Let's cut.

165
00:07:52,349 --> 00:07:55,685
- [Jordan clears throat]
- Can we cut? Keyword with me.

166
00:07:56,978 --> 00:07:59,064
- I'd rather not.
- Please?

167
00:08:00,148 --> 00:08:02,108
- [Jordan sighs] Okay.
- Thank you.

168
00:08:02,108 --> 00:08:05,278
All right, guys, wanna go again?
All right. Self action.

169
00:08:07,072 --> 00:08:09,324
Do you have any idea what's
on the outside of that door?

170
00:08:09,324 --> 00:08:12,118
It's dangerous men
on the other side of that door.

171
00:08:12,118 --> 00:08:15,455
I'm talking mercenaries,
killers, ninjas,

172
00:08:15,455 --> 00:08:17,290
failed karate school instructors,

173
00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:18,708
people that wanna do
bad things to me

174
00:08:18,708 --> 00:08:20,502
just because they can.

175
00:08:20,502 --> 00:08:23,630
There's a bounty
on my fucking head.

176
00:08:25,924 --> 00:08:27,342
I'll tell you what, Esmeralda...

177
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,137
[exhales] I'll pay that bounty,

178
00:08:31,930 --> 00:08:33,598
and I will give them my head

179
00:08:34,849 --> 00:08:36,017
if it meant saving your life

180
00:08:36,017 --> 00:08:37,394
so that you could
finish med school

181
00:08:37,394 --> 00:08:39,354
and open up that clinic that
you always wanted--

182
00:08:39,354 --> 00:08:40,981
Ow, shit!

183
00:08:40,981 --> 00:08:42,941
Open up that clinic
that you always wanted--

184
00:08:42,941 --> 00:08:44,693
- Esmeralda, wait.
- [door opens, closes]

185
00:08:46,236 --> 00:08:48,071
Esmeralda, hey!

186
00:08:49,114 --> 00:08:51,408
[ominous music]

187
00:08:51,408 --> 00:08:54,369
[Kevin]
Oh, you fucking piece of shit.

188
00:08:54,369 --> 00:08:56,329
You leave her
out of here, you hear me?

189
00:08:56,329 --> 00:08:58,957
She's got nothing
to do with this.

190
00:08:58,957 --> 00:09:00,584
This is between me, you,

191
00:09:00,584 --> 00:09:04,045
and the 78,000 kilos
of stolen uranium.

192
00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:05,130
[glass shattering]

193
00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:06,965
All right.
That's how you wanna have it.

194
00:09:07,924 --> 00:09:09,009
Let's have at it.

195
00:09:10,886 --> 00:09:12,262
I'm so over this.

196
00:09:12,262 --> 00:09:15,390
Kevin, next time
you have a terrible movie idea,

197
00:09:15,390 --> 00:09:16,725
leave me out of it, yeah?

198
00:09:17,475 --> 00:09:19,227
- [Jordan groaning]
- Oh, shit.

199
00:09:22,439 --> 00:09:25,025
I'm sorry, but did this
central casting goon

200
00:09:25,025 --> 00:09:27,777
just hit me in the face
with a real fucking axe?

201
00:09:27,777 --> 00:09:28,778
Cut. No, no, no.

202
00:09:28,778 --> 00:09:30,405
- We need to cut right now.
- No.

203
00:09:30,405 --> 00:09:31,698
- I don't know what...
- Don't cut. Don't cut.

204
00:09:31,698 --> 00:09:33,909
...production this is but I need
to speak to a producer--

205
00:09:33,909 --> 00:09:35,285
[man growling]

206
00:09:40,999 --> 00:09:42,125
[Jordan grunts]

207
00:09:44,794 --> 00:09:47,214
[breathing heavily]
Is that all you've got?

208
00:09:47,214 --> 00:09:48,757
[man grunts]

209
00:09:48,757 --> 00:09:50,717
Jordan, let me get in there now.

210
00:09:50,717 --> 00:09:52,802
[man growling]

211
00:09:52,802 --> 00:09:54,471
Slam his ass.

212
00:09:58,016 --> 00:10:01,144
Jordan, let my character
get some, tag me in.

213
00:10:02,312 --> 00:10:04,606
[breathing heavily, groaning]

214
00:10:05,732 --> 00:10:07,275
[glass shattering]

215
00:10:07,275 --> 00:10:08,485
Yeah.

216
00:10:10,528 --> 00:10:13,657
[Jordan groaning]

217
00:10:15,825 --> 00:10:17,744
Hold it. Hold it.

218
00:10:19,829 --> 00:10:21,581
[man choking]

219
00:10:21,581 --> 00:10:22,916
Yeah.

220
00:10:22,916 --> 00:10:24,751
[Jordan breathing heavily]

221
00:10:24,751 --> 00:10:28,296
Whoo! We got that. What a scene.

222
00:10:28,296 --> 00:10:29,631
Good job.

223
00:10:29,631 --> 00:10:30,840
Here.

224
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,300
I think I'm the one
that was supposed

225
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:33,760
to kick his ass, though.

226
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:34,886
'Cause I'm the lead,

227
00:10:34,886 --> 00:10:36,346
so I'm quite sure that
was supposed to be me.

228
00:10:36,346 --> 00:10:38,515
- But we'll fix it in the post--
- [gunshots]

229
00:10:39,099 --> 00:10:40,517
[Kevin] Go, go, go, go!

230
00:10:44,104 --> 00:10:46,982
[both breathing heavily]

231
00:10:46,982 --> 00:10:49,067
[Jordan] That guy
was trying to kill me.

232
00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:50,902
Kevin, not acting. Not a movie.

233
00:10:50,902 --> 00:10:53,071
- Literally trying to kill me!
- No.

234
00:10:53,071 --> 00:10:55,407
It's cinema verité.
I know it's a little different,

235
00:10:55,407 --> 00:10:56,616
- but that's what it is.
- Different?

236
00:10:56,616 --> 00:10:58,743
A little fucking different,
Kevin?

237
00:10:58,743 --> 00:11:00,370
Whoa. Are you okay?

238
00:11:00,370 --> 00:11:01,788
Yeah, I know you're just trying
to get me to apologize.

239
00:11:01,788 --> 00:11:02,914
No, no, no.

240
00:11:02,914 --> 00:11:04,374
- Just give me a second. What?
- Kevin.

241
00:11:05,125 --> 00:11:08,628
You've been hit
with a real fucking bullet.

242
00:11:10,088 --> 00:11:11,172
That's not real blood.

243
00:11:12,007 --> 00:11:13,133
[Jordan] What-- [scoffs]

244
00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:15,218
- Of course it's real blood!
- No. Taste it.

245
00:11:15,218 --> 00:11:16,928
I'm not gonna
taste your blood, Kevin.

246
00:11:16,928 --> 00:11:18,805
You can. You can.
It's pig's blood.

247
00:11:18,805 --> 00:11:20,098
- [Jordan] No--
- It's not my blood.

248
00:11:20,098 --> 00:11:21,433
[chuckles]

249
00:11:21,433 --> 00:11:22,934
Does that feel fake?

250
00:11:22,934 --> 00:11:26,062
- Ow! Ow!
- Shit. Shit. Shit.

251
00:11:26,062 --> 00:11:27,772
- Shit.
- I gotta lay down.

252
00:11:27,772 --> 00:11:29,232
I gotta lay down.

253
00:11:31,276 --> 00:11:34,029
Kevin! Kevin!

254
00:11:34,863 --> 00:11:37,240
No, no, no, no. Wait, look.
There's a photographer. Look.

255
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:38,658
He wants your picture. There.

256
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:40,535
God.

257
00:11:41,202 --> 00:11:42,454
What the fuck?

258
00:11:43,079 --> 00:11:45,290
[dramatic music]