1 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:10,677 [upbeat pop music playing] 2 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,805 Okay, Lola, now that you're officially 3 00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:14,806 a Tampa resident, 4 00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:17,976 there are a few things you need to know about living in Florida. 5 00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:19,436 [paper tearing] 6 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:20,478 Pro: 7 00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,722 - You can wear flip-flops all year. - [audience laughs] 8 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:25,483 Con: Many things will bite your feet. 9 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,361 Fire ants, mosquitoes, that homeschooled kid down the block. 10 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,822 Basically, the ground is alive and it hates you. 11 00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:33,283 - [audience laughs] - [Big Show] Okay, next. 12 00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:35,410 - [paper tearing] - The beach! 13 00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:37,454 Pro: It's so pretty. 14 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,957 Con: The undertow might actually take one of your toes. 15 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,668 - [audience laughs] - [Cassy] Next, humidity. 16 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:44,753 [paper tearing] 17 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:48,131 Oh, sorry. I had humidity, but I couldn't sleep. 18 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:51,051 JJ kept me up all night with her bubble machine. 19 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,278 - [audience laughs] - [whoosh] 20 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,113 - [gentle lullaby playing] - [machine whirring] 21 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:55,805 [audience laughs] 22 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,475 I need my bubble buddy to sleep. 23 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,102 But you point it right at my face. 24 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:05,899 Well, if I point it at my face then I won't be able to sleep. 25 00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:07,108 [Cassy] Okay, 26 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:09,552 I've got to get to work, and you kids have to get to school. 27 00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:12,280 And that includes Dad, who's going to my Career Day today. 28 00:01:12,363 --> 00:01:14,240 - [both upbeat] What, what! - [audience laughs] 29 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,992 Let's just do the speed round, Mom. 30 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,619 - Hit her with the cons. - Okay. 31 00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:19,871 Tallahassee, tourists, any election day, 32 00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:21,790 every Florida band except Tom Petty, 33 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,667 and for sure, old people driving rascals. 34 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,920 When you are on a sidewalk, keep your head on a swivel. 35 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:28,337 - [audience laughs] - Wow. 36 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,840 So Florida's basically just a giant humid Arby's. 37 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:31,800 [audience laughs] 38 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,010 Well, there is one more giant pro. 39 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,429 [Big Show] That's the fact that we're all here, 40 00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:38,473 and now you are, too. 41 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:39,682 Aw. 42 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:40,975 - [audience coos] - Okay, 43 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,686 tomorrow we will spend a full day on sinkholes. 44 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:44,770 [audience laughs] 45 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,230 [bells ding] 46 00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:49,692 [upbeat pop opening credits] 47 00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:55,740 - [music fades] - Thank you, Dr. Kim. Wow, 48 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,243 we've had two heart surgeons 49 00:01:58,326 --> 00:01:59,953 - and a judge! - [audience laughs] 50 00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:04,624 And now we have JJ's dad, who's a wrestler. 51 00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:06,251 I got this, Miss Regie. 52 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:07,794 Aidan, lights. 53 00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,712 - [light clicks off] - Strobes. 54 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,674 Ladies and gentlemen, 55 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:13,675 parents, 56 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:15,927 and Caleb's newest stepdad. 57 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,304 Still just the boyfriend. Fingers crossed though. 58 00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:19,305 [audience laughs] 59 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:23,351 Please welcome my dad! 60 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:26,062 - [cheering and applauding] - [Big Show roars] 61 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,146 [continued cheering] 62 00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:30,859 [gruff yelling] Yeah, that's what we're talking about! 63 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:31,942 Hello! 64 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,736 [yelling enthusiastically] 65 00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,823 Whoo! All right! 66 00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,032 [continued applauding] 67 00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:40,075 [cheering fading] 68 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:43,163 - That's how you make an entrance, Dr. Kim. - [audience laughs] 69 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,956 I'm JJ's dad. 70 00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:46,708 I'm the Big Show. 71 00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:49,294 [enthusiastically, then fading] Hi, Mr. Big Show. 72 00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:50,837 [audience laughs] 73 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,256 Any questions for Mr. Show? 74 00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:54,883 How big is your poop? 75 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:58,469 - [audience laughs] - Any career questions for Mr. Show? 76 00:02:58,553 --> 00:02:59,762 When's your next match? 77 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,973 Uh, actually, I'm retired. I don't wrestle anymore. 78 00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,100 So, if you're retired, what do you do? 79 00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:06,978 That's a good question. I, um... 80 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:08,664 - [audience laughs] - My grandma's retired. 81 00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:10,690 She just watches reruns of The Golden Girls. 82 00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:12,025 [audience laughs] 83 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:13,985 My grandpa retired, but then he died. 84 00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,738 My dad said he died of not having a purpose. 85 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:17,864 Do you have a purpose? 86 00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:19,341 - I think. Um... - [audience laughs] 87 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,951 Kids, this is a good lesson 88 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,077 for career day. 89 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:25,496 Sometimes when people retire, 90 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,541 they take a while to figure out what they want to do 91 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:31,169 with the rest of the short time they have left. 92 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:32,170 What? 93 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:33,253 [audience laughs] 94 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:34,505 Yes, Cooper. 95 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:37,842 I have a follow-up on my poop question. It's a two-parter. 96 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,260 [audience laughs] 97 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,929 [upbeat pop music playing] 98 00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,932 ♪ He's got a ham sandwich in his hands ♪ 99 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:47,268 ♪ He's got a Swiss ham sandwich In his hands ♪ 100 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:50,647 ♪ He's got some grease From the bacon on his pants ♪ 101 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:51,773 [audience laughs] 102 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:53,816 ♪ 'Cause he's got a dad sandwich ♪ 103 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:57,237 ♪ In his hands ♪ 104 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:58,905 [audience laughs and applauds] 105 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,114 [Big Show whistling] 106 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,242 - [screams] - [Mandy] Dad! 107 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,869 - [plate rattles] - Why are you sleeping on the couch? 108 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,704 Because I can't sleep in my room. 109 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,040 JJ is binging The Walking Dead 110 00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:10,684 - without headphones. - [audience laughs] 111 00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:13,670 What? She's not supposed to watch anything that's going to prepare her 112 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:14,793 for taking over the world. 113 00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:16,214 I can't live like this! 114 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,132 We'll punish JJ in the morning. 115 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,635 Right now, I need you to help me pick up my dad sandwich. 116 00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:22,887 - [audience laughs] - Should be 22 pieces. 117 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:24,347 [audience laughs] 118 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,807 [upbeat pop music plays] 119 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,185 - [music fades] - [Cassy sighs] 120 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,312 Hello, Jennifer Jane. 121 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:32,522 Oh, no. 122 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,898 - [audience laughs] - Oh, yes. 123 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,776 Heard you've been enjoying some late night screen time, 124 00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:38,111 and I found the notebook 125 00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,029 where you've been practicing my signature. 126 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,447 [audience laughs] 127 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,533 Looks like it's time for a visit from... 128 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,673 - [strained] The Punisher! - The Punisher? 129 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:46,994 That's right. 130 00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:48,579 The Punisher. 131 00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:49,789 [audience laughs] 132 00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,833 Let's see. No play dates for a week, 133 00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:53,084 a written report 134 00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:54,247 on the importance of sleep, 135 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:57,088 and I'm confiscating your bubble machine. 136 00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:58,971 - God, I hate The Punisher, - [Cassy chuckles] 137 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,342 but I also want to be her. 138 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,468 [audience laughs] 139 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,221 Thanks, Mom, but JJ is relentless. 140 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:07,557 I have to get a hotel room. 141 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,768 Dad, I'm going to need all your three million Marriott points. 142 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,270 Yeah, that's not happening. 143 00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:13,633 - [audience laughs] - [Lola] Ugh! 144 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,315 Mandy, I've got a crazy idea. 145 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:16,983 Do you want to move in with me? 146 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:19,110 I've never shared a room before. Could be fun. 147 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,404 Could be fun? Will be fun! 148 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,948 Living with my older sister is the dream! 149 00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:27,243 My dream is to sail around the world or, like, photobomb Shawn Mendes. 150 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,453 [audience laughs] 151 00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:31,056 But I'm really excited about this, too! What's up, new roommate? 152 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,707 - [Mandy squeals] - Oh! Okay, 153 00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:33,624 this is happening. 154 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,625 Not a hugger. 155 00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,961 Just not for me, like camping or men's soccer. 156 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,045 [audience laughs] 157 00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:39,213 [upbeat pop music playing] 158 00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:42,759 - [music fades] - Hey! 159 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:45,219 Show Business... [taps bottles] in the house! 160 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,137 My man, Terry. 161 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:47,680 I broke another doorknob, man. 162 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,924 - [audience laughs] - Mm. It's cool. I'd be embarrassed 163 00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:52,694 to own a gym where the members weren't strong enough to tear it down. 164 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:53,727 [audience laughs] 165 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:54,770 [doorknob rattles] 166 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:56,339 Can I talk to you about something? 167 00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:58,459 - Anything. Except about toenails. - [audience laughs] 168 00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,483 I don't like 'em. 169 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,737 They're like little turtle shells for your feet. 170 00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,548 - [audience laughs] - No, it's not about that. 171 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,324 How could it be about that? 172 00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:08,802 Look, man, it's been a minute since I retired from wrestling, 173 00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:10,661 and I feel like I need to find what's next. 174 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,538 [chuckles] Dude, you a celebrity. 175 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,040 You should just endorse stuff. 176 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:16,167 And lucky for you, I got the perfect thing. 177 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,085 Check this out. 178 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,130 [thuds machine] This is a state-of-the-art juicer 179 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,880 that runs on artificial intelligence. 180 00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:23,633 Show, meet blender. 181 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:27,136 [robotic female voice] Hello, Terry, the sexiest man alive. 182 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,722 I didn't teach her that. That's just the intelligence talking. 183 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,265 [audience laughs] 184 00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:35,853 Blender, make me a smoothie with, uh, strawberry, banana, and acai. 185 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,188 That's a superfood, bro. 186 00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:38,940 - [audience laughs] - [machine whirring] 187 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:39,857 - [clanking] - Nice... 188 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,181 That's all good. That's normal. 189 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,594 - [clanking] - [juicer] Strawberry. 190 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,362 - Banana. - [audience laughs] 191 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:45,530 Acai. Acai. Acai. 192 00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:46,697 Thank you, acai. 193 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,032 I like acai. 194 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,450 - [spray hisses] - Acai. 195 00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:50,785 - [continued laughing] - Acai. 196 00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:52,203 - [Terry whooping] - Acai. 197 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:53,788 Acai. 198 00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:55,456 [juice dripping] 199 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,834 - [Terry clears throat] - [audience laughs] 200 00:06:58,751 --> 00:06:59,877 [Terry exhales] Whoo! 201 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,213 You know, I just talked to Ronny Cuban. 202 00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:03,172 [audience laughs] 203 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,049 That's, uh... That's Mark Cuban's brother, 204 00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,844 and he's in for, uh, 50... bucks. 205 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,576 - [audience laughs] - [Terry exhales] 206 00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:10,972 What are you in for? 207 00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:12,265 No, I'm out. 208 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,683 I'm very, very out. 209 00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:14,809 [audience laughs] 210 00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:16,572 Come on, Terry. For real, I need your help. 211 00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:17,645 You know, man. 212 00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:20,440 Retired wrestlers are doing all kinda cool stuff these days. 213 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,483 There's wine, there's yoga. 214 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,610 You could always make movies like the Rock. 215 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,404 No, I tried the whole movie thing. 216 00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,281 I wasn't getting put up for the right roles. 217 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,867 - [whoosh] - [British accent] Hello, I'm Elton John. 218 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,178 - [audience laughs] - [director] That was great. Thank you. 219 00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:35,472 - [usual voice] Hey, can I keep the hat? - [audience laughs] 220 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,123 Ooh! I got the perfect idea. 221 00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:40,126 You know how the Undertaker and his wife, they do real estate? 222 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,420 - Mm-hmm. - You should do that with Cassy, man. 223 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:43,504 She's already in the biz. 224 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,381 Yeah, but what do I know about real estate? 225 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,217 [chuckles] That's the beauty of it. You don't know anything! 226 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,345 Cassy's always saying we need to spend more time together, you know. 227 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:52,472 Maybe this'd get me out of 228 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,032 - going to the farmers' market. - Oh... 229 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,725 Don't bad-mouth the farmers' market. 230 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,995 That's the only place I can buy some decent stone fruit. 231 00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,019 [audience laughs] 232 00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,373 - [upbeat music plays, fades] - [Cassy] Whoo! 233 00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:03,797 - That was a good farmers' market "sesh." - [audience laughs] 234 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,026 Yeah, but do we really need 235 00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,319 five pounds of pluots? 236 00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:07,862 I mean, what are pluots, anyway? 237 00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,198 Ah, it's a cross between an apricot and a plum. 238 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,116 It's like the labradoodle of fruit, 239 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,327 - [audience laughs] - which is almost as cute 240 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,786 as how much you loved 241 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:16,870 the face paint guy. 242 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:19,290 - [audience laughs] - Okay. Weeo is an artist, okay? 243 00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:20,249 [Cassy laughs] 244 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,877 You know I've been thinking about what I'm gonna do next, right? 245 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,670 Sure don't, but catch me up. 246 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,006 Well, Terry had this great idea. 247 00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:27,924 Terry? 248 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:31,219 The same guy who locked himself in his Jetta over a holiday weekend. 249 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,596 - [audience laughs] - I forgot about that. 250 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,056 - [audience laughs] - But listen, 251 00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:36,807 what if I become a real estate agent? 252 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:39,519 Then you and I can work together, and that'd be fun, right? 253 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,057 [high-pitched] So much fun. 254 00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:43,457 - [audience laughs] - You know, when your voice gets higher, 255 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,201 that usually means you don't like something. 256 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,514 [high-pitched] That's not true. 257 00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:47,818 [audience laughs] 258 00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:50,863 Babe, I'm just saying I'm looking for my second act, 259 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,449 and this could be something I'm really good at. 260 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,078 Okay, well, uh, you know, sometimes we have interns at the office. 261 00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:59,041 Maybe you could intern and see if you like that. 262 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,207 Yeah! I could be an intern. 263 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:03,167 Like Robert De Niro in that movie. 264 00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,293 [audience laughs] 265 00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:06,671 Because anything Rob De Niro can do, 266 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:08,505 I can do. 267 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,467 - [higher-pitched] Mm-hmm! - [audience laughs] 268 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,261 [mellow pop music plays, then fades] 269 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:14,344 [Lola] Hey, roomie. 270 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,194 I thought we could do each other's nails. 271 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:20,142 I have Pinky Brewster, Katy Periwinkle or Blue Yonce. 272 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,826 - [audience laughs] - Ooh! I'd love that. 273 00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:25,106 Give me Pinky for my fingers, and Katy for my toes. 274 00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:26,399 [audience laughs] 275 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:29,151 Wow, you have so much stuff. 276 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,171 - It's like, everywhere. - [audience laughs] 277 00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:32,363 We'll make it work. 278 00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:33,531 Of course we will. 279 00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,032 This is the best! 280 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,450 Are those dolls? 281 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:38,661 They're legendary female bobbleheads. 282 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,121 I have RBG, 283 00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:41,247 Rosa Parks, 284 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:42,890 - Ellen DeGeneres... - [audience laughs] 285 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,597 Why do they only shake their heads "yes"? 286 00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:46,042 Because women... 287 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,327 - are very supportive of each other. - [audience laughs] 288 00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:53,134 Is this a half-eaten burrito? 289 00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,553 I like to think of it as half an uneaten burrito, 290 00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,388 - [audience laughs] - but I'm an optimist. 291 00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:58,471 [audience laughs] 292 00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:01,851 [stammers] You're going to bed? 293 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,311 It's like 7:30. 294 00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:07,898 Yeah. If I don't get my 13 hours of sleep, I'm a total mess. 295 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,900 - Really? You? - [audience laughs] 296 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,344 - [clicks button] - [machine whirs] 297 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:12,403 [gentle lullaby plays] 298 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,156 I thought you hated JJ's bubble machine. 299 00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:17,908 I went from hating it to being fully dependent on it. 300 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,874 - Weird, right? Good night. - [audience laughs] 301 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:21,578 [clicks off light] 302 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,415 [upbeat pop music plays] 303 00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:27,918 [music fades] 304 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,503 - [screaming] Ew! - [audience laughs] 305 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:30,587 Sorry. 306 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,923 The Wi-Fi is awful on my side of the room. 307 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,894 I didn't want to wake you, but I also wanted 308 00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,552 to scroll through We Rate Dogs, 309 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,928 so you see my dilemma. 310 00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:41,015 - [audience laughs] - No, I absolutely do not. 311 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,600 Oh! It's 7:45. 312 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:44,328 - Gotta get to school. - What? 313 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:45,269 7:45? 314 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:46,729 Why didn't my alarm go off? 315 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:50,358 Oh... Sorry, I unplugged it to use my flatiron. 316 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:52,364 You can use it because this whole hair thing... 317 00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:54,779 is a bold choice. 318 00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:55,862 [audience laughs] 319 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:57,198 See you downstairs. 320 00:10:57,281 --> 00:10:58,741 - [Lola sighs] - [sheets rustle] 321 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,201 [squishing] 322 00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:01,118 Ew! 323 00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:03,621 - How many burritos are in this room? - [audience laughs] 324 00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,331 [upbeat pop music playing] 325 00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,439 - [pop fades] - [man] Sorry I'm late. 326 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:11,671 I wanted to get Miss Puffin's lemon poppy muffins for the open house. 327 00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:13,381 Your fave! [chuckles] 328 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,091 Wait, isn't Miss Puffins in Orlando? 329 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:17,718 Yeah, I went there last night and slept in my car. 330 00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:20,179 - [audience laughs] - Anything for you, Cass-a-frass. 331 00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:22,782 Okay, Bennett, we talked about how that name is too Jamba Juicy. 332 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,767 - We did, and I'm sorry. - Okay. 333 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,727 - Cassy-o-keyboard? - Mm-mm. 334 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:27,728 - We'll find it. - Yeah. 335 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:28,938 [audience laughs] 336 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:31,501 Hey, you know, if anyone can sell this haunted house, it's you. 337 00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:33,693 [scoffs] Okay, this house is not haunted. 338 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,028 It's just that the previous tenant died here, 339 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,322 - and her spirit refuses to leave. - [audience laughs] 340 00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:41,450 Which is the literal definition of a haunted house. 341 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,369 You're still my queen though. 342 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:45,121 Okay. [chuckles] Hey, 343 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:47,044 my husband is going to be helping us out today. 344 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,923 He's thinking of becoming a real estate agent. 345 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,918 Perfect! And I'm thinking of becoming 346 00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,801 - a professional wrestler! - [audience laughs] 347 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,839 - JK, [stammers] I'd die quickly. - Yeah. 348 00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:57,216 - [audience laughs] - [sing-songy] Ding-dong! 349 00:11:58,008 --> 00:12:00,302 Had to say ding-dong 'cause I broke the doorbell. 350 00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:01,613 - [audience laughs] - Hey, babe. 351 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:04,181 You remember Bennett, right? His dad owns our company. 352 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,308 Of course! [bellowing] Big Ben! 353 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,685 It's Bennett. 354 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,145 Hard "T". 355 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:10,479 [audience laughs] 356 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:15,794 - Okay. This is gonna be fun. [hums] - [audience laughs] 357 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,403 [upbeat music plays] 358 00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:19,196 You gotta see the light. 359 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,783 - [curtain hooks rattle] - [rod crashes and rattles] 360 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,829 And you know, when it's your place, you can pick any new curtains you want. 361 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,122 [audience laughs] 362 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,999 How about these closets? 363 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,084 Ow! My bones! 364 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,502 [audience laughs] 365 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,379 [crashing] 366 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,631 - [audience laughs] - Oh, no! 367 00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:38,591 Show? 368 00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:40,009 [banister rattling] 369 00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:43,846 [sputters] Sorry. I mean, that thing came apart so easy. 370 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,848 I mean, I don't think it's up to code. 371 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,784 - [audience laughs] - Okay. Okay, uh... [laughs] 372 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:50,352 Babe, I've got a new job for you. 373 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:51,936 Okay. 374 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,480 Muffins. 375 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,440 [audience laughs] 376 00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:55,649 [deadpan] Muffins. 377 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,860 - [audience laughs] - Hey, you're the Big Show! 378 00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,403 You're doing real estate now? 379 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:02,156 Sort of. Mainly focused on the muffin side of it. 380 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:05,201 Dude, I would love to buy a house from a celebrity. 381 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,620 I once bought an unlocked phone from Fifty Cent. 382 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:08,996 [audience laughs] 383 00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:11,165 So, what can you tell me about this place? 384 00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:13,375 This place? 385 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,877 Oh, this place is great! 386 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,297 I mean, the last owner loved this place so much, she didn't even want to leave. 387 00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:19,882 She actually died here. 388 00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,008 No, no, no, no, no! 389 00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:23,010 But don't worry, I know what you're thinking. 390 00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:24,470 "Is this place haunted?" 391 00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:25,763 And the answer is... 392 00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:27,264 maybe? 393 00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:29,850 - [audience laughs] - Hi, hello. I can take over from here. 394 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,435 You know what? No, thanks. 395 00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:32,561 I think I'm just gonna go. 396 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,355 No, man, you haven't even seen upstairs. 397 00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,148 - [light shatters] - [Cassy screams] No! 398 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,274 [audience laughs] 399 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,110 Muffin? 400 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,154 [upbeat pop music playing] 401 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,492 - [music fades] - Hey, roomie. 402 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:47,993 Love the no makeup look. 403 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:49,429 - [slams locker] - [audience laughs] 404 00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,872 Well, I was late 'cause my alarm didn't go off, 405 00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,208 I'm wearing glasses 'cause I couldn't find my contacts 406 00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:56,544 under all of your tubes of organic toothpaste, and... 407 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,796 Oh my God, are you wearing my new bomber jacket? 408 00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:00,047 Yeah, I got it 409 00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:01,590 from our closet. 410 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,485 - [audience laughs] - [scoffs] I just bought it. 411 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,469 It's so new it literally still has the tags on it. 412 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,971 Not anymore, I took them off. 413 00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:08,138 - BTW, - [audience laughs] 414 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,349 you can totally borrow any of my clothes. 415 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,685 I don't want to borrow your clothes. 416 00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,608 I want to wear the clothes I bought for myself. 417 00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,689 Okay, calm down. I'll give it back later today. 418 00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:18,607 - No, I'd like it back now. - That's crazy. 419 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:19,984 - Give it back. - No. 420 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:22,945 Mandy, let go! 421 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,071 [Mandy] No, you let go! 422 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,406 Just straighten your elbows! 423 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:26,948 [man grunts] Oh! 424 00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:29,243 Ah, my nose! [groans] It just got better 425 00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:30,870 after your dad broke it. [sniffs] 426 00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:31,954 [audience laughs] 427 00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:33,757 [hysterical] What is wrong with your family? 428 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,511 - [audience laughs] - [man screams in pain] 429 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:37,042 [man moans] 430 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,252 [upbeat pop music playing] 431 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,047 [music fades] 432 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:45,593 Okay, that car ride was way too quiet. 433 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:47,595 What happened? 434 00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:49,513 Wait, I love a good sister fight. 435 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:50,764 Let me get my popcorn. 436 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,308 - [audience laughs] - [bag rustles] 437 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,391 Where'd you get that? 438 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:54,434 Teachers' lounge. 439 00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:56,812 - [audience laughs] - We're gonna revisit that. 440 00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,731 Okay, you two. Talk. 441 00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:01,567 [both arguing over each other] 442 00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:05,528 [audience laughs] 443 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,656 Ooh, I think I just blacked out for a second. 444 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,034 If she were a good big sister, 445 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,995 she'd let me wear the jacket that I clearly look better in. 446 00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:15,706 I don't think you understand what "clearly" means. 447 00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:17,291 - [audience laughs] - Okay, stop. 448 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:18,626 Emotions are high. 449 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,837 Right now we need to focus on punishment 'cause that's what's most important. 450 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:22,922 [audience laughs] 451 00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,299 Fine, wait till Mom gets home. 452 00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:27,092 Yeah, we'll wait till Cass gets home. 453 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,176 Hold on! 454 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:29,470 Wait a minute, 455 00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:31,013 I'm also a parent. 456 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,181 I'll punish you. 457 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,868 - [Mandy] So sweet. - [Lola] Aw, Dad! 458 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,292 - [JJ] Adorable! - [audience laughs] 459 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:37,728 Hey, I can do this. 460 00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:40,397 I'm not just some ex-wrestler who doesn't have a purpose. 461 00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:43,651 Yikes, the kids in my class really got to you, huh? 462 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:45,945 Yeah, especially that Kelli with an "I." 463 00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,029 [audience laughs] 464 00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:48,321 Okay, 465 00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:49,530 here we go. 466 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:55,204 - Punishment time. - [audience laughs] 467 00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,584 Hi, babe. You know, pluots are good. 468 00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,503 I think I'm a pluot guy. 469 00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:03,963 - [audience laughs] - So, 470 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,966 what'd the insurance company say about the house? 471 00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:07,006 Is it gonna cost a lot? 472 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,175 Ah... Not sure. 473 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,219 Most of the call was trying to convince them 474 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:13,639 that the damage was done by one man and not an entire fraternity. 475 00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,244 - [Big Show sighs] - [audience laughs] 476 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,602 I'm sorry. I guess my first day at real estate wasn't the best. 477 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,020 [clicks tongue] Aw. It's okay. 478 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,982 I guess everybody breaks something on their first day of work. 479 00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:23,899 That's true. 480 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,068 My first day of wrestling, I broke Macho Man's shin. 481 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:27,236 [audience laughs] 482 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,530 But I promise I'll do better tomorrow. 483 00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:32,199 Oh, you know, actually, I am not showing the house tomorrow. 484 00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:33,882 I'm just gonna be in the office all day, 485 00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,869 but we are having an open house on Monday. 486 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,915 Great! I'm gonna crush Monday just like I crush a tray of deviled eggs. 487 00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:43,168 - Quickly and without prejudice. - [audience laughs] 488 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,295 Oh! Hey, I got your text about the girls. 489 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,714 Time for The Punisher. 490 00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:49,633 [chuckles] No need. Mr. The Punisher took care of it. 491 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:50,634 [audience laughs] 492 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:54,138 So, your punishment was giving them their iPads? 493 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,514 Yeah, and I split 'em up. 494 00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,516 - Look how quiet they are. - [audience laughs] 495 00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:59,018 You know just making them be quiet 496 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,811 isn't really a punishment. 497 00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:03,105 But if they're not quiet, it's punishment for me. 498 00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:04,188 [audience laughs] 499 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:06,368 Besides, look, they're not fighting anymore. 500 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,400 Really? 501 00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:10,070 "Mandy, you're being a giant jerk face." 502 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:12,489 "Lola, you're being a selfish dragon emoji." 503 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,253 - [audience laughs] - Babe, still fighting. 504 00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:17,244 Babe, I've been in over 3,000 hardcore matches. 505 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,912 One of 'em with a live bear. 506 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:19,996 [audience laughs] 507 00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,416 Trust me, that ain't fighting. 508 00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:24,209 - [audience laughs] - [rustling] 509 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,045 [frantically] My clothes! 510 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,168 [Mandy, upstairs] Just getting your precious clothes 511 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,548 as far away from me as possible. 512 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:32,384 I know how much you hate sharing. 513 00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,303 Ugh! When I get up there, 514 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:37,306 I'm gonna throw away all your women's tennis trading cards, 515 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,016 starting with Serena. 516 00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:40,476 [audience laughs] 517 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,620 - [thudding footsteps] - Now they're fighting. 518 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:43,729 [audience laughs] 519 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,981 Okay, here's what's gonna happen. 520 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,608 You are going to stay in this room 521 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,735 with no Wi-Fi and no phones... 522 00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,464 - [Mandy scoffs] - until I tell you you can come out. 523 00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,948 Mom! That's a harsh punishment. 524 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,909 Oh, that's just level one. 525 00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:59,828 Your real punishment is gonna be like at a level ten. 526 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,872 So you'd better get ready for it. 527 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:05,667 [audience laughs] 528 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,169 [Big Show] Ooh... 529 00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:10,255 - That was terrifying. - [audience laughs] 530 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:11,256 What's level ten? 531 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:15,052 [laughs] There is no level ten, you big beautiful bounce house of a man. 532 00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:17,805 They are going to be so terrified about what's coming 533 00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:21,517 that they'll talk out their problems and it'll resolve itself, like that. 534 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,477 You know, turning off the Wi-Fi... 535 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,647 - [scoffs] such a baller parenting move. - [giggles] 536 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:27,856 [audience laughs] 537 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,441 What happened to the Wi-Fi? 538 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:30,692 I was hacking into... 539 00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:33,529 my paper about the importance of sleep. 540 00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:36,269 - It's all about the REM cycle, guys. - [audience laughs] 541 00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:38,242 [continued laughing] 542 00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:39,743 [upbeat pop music plays] 543 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,027 - [music fades] - [door closes] 544 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,162 Mom's at the office, 545 00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:43,580 so I want to surprise her 546 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:46,458 by fixing everything that I broke before the next open house. 547 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:48,168 [toolbox bangs on floor] 548 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,338 - What is that? - Garlic and sage. 549 00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:52,701 Why do you have garlic and sage? 550 00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:55,884 To fix the real problem in this house: ghosts, duh. 551 00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:57,886 I thought garlic was for vampires. 552 00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,555 You dunno what kinda friends she's got. 553 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:00,973 - Why'd I ask? - [audience laughs] 554 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:03,016 Look, I'm gonna start on the bannister. 555 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,226 I'll start in the kitchen. 556 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:08,897 [thudding upstairs] 557 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,107 [suspenseful music plays] 558 00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:12,151 - [audience laughs] - [floorboards creak] 559 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,318 [pants] Yeah, I'm out. 560 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,821 - [audience laughs] - Okay, okay. It's nothing. 561 00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:18,490 - We're good. It's nothing. - [door creaks] 562 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:19,825 Told you there's ghosts! 563 00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:22,828 Dad, save me! They always want the cuter one! 564 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:23,787 [audience laughs] 565 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,122 I'm not saying there's ghosts. 566 00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,206 [loud boom] 567 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:28,834 [fearfully] I'm just saying we should hide in the closet! 568 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:29,918 [audience laughs] 569 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:33,422 [yelling] Dad, I don't want to die in a closet! 570 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,257 I want to die punching a shark! 571 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,580 [voice cracking] We'll be fine! 572 00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,886 Are you asking me or telling me? 573 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,351 - [door creaks open] - [Big Show and JJ scream] 574 00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:45,225 Cassy, I thought you were in the office. 575 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,311 [stammering] I was, 576 00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:48,394 and... 577 00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:49,938 now I'm here! [chuckles] 578 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,815 And the explanation for that is... 579 00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:52,899 You lied to me. 580 00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:54,419 - [audience laughs] - [Cassy sighs] 581 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,820 Why do I smell burnt garlic with a hint of sage? 582 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:58,488 Is someone making a basic risotto? 583 00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:00,365 - [audience laughs] - [smoke alarm beeps] 584 00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:01,490 JJ... 585 00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:03,660 did you use the oven without permission? 586 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,245 Maybe. 587 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:06,830 But the big headline 588 00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:08,207 is Mom lied to you. 589 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,833 - [audience laughs] - Mom! 590 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:11,543 [mellow music playing] 591 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:16,590 [music fades] 592 00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:18,008 [laughing on TV] 593 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:20,343 Whatcha watching? 594 00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:21,553 The Golden Girls. 595 00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,013 They're my people now. 596 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,180 [audience laughs] 597 00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:27,684 Old, retired, making my own jewelry. 598 00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:28,809 [audience laughs] 599 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,353 Is it good? 600 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,522 Yeah, it's a Blanche episode. 601 00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:33,649 [audience laughs] 602 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:36,026 JJ, can I talk to your dad for a second? 603 00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:37,319 Well, the Wi-Fi's still out, 604 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:38,403 so I guess I'll just go 605 00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,906 use my imagination or some dumb crap like that. 606 00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:45,160 - [audience laughs] - Okay, I lied to you, and I am so sorry. 607 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,955 I should have talked to you directly. 608 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:51,291 Our relationship is built on honesty, and I betrayed that. 609 00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:52,876 I mean, I understand. 610 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,840 I was kind of a disaster as a real estate agent. 611 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,880 - Yes, you were. - Well, that was a quick yes. 612 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,284 - [audience laughs] - [both laugh] 613 00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:00,926 It's just that, you know, maybe real estate is my thing, 614 00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:03,887 and we should focus on what's coming next for you. 615 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:05,931 That's what I want, too. I'm just... 616 00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:08,267 I'm just worried, you know. 617 00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,602 What if I don't find what that next thing is? 618 00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:12,896 What? [laughs] Honey, 619 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,356 you are the Big Show. 620 00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:16,233 You invented this entire life 621 00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:17,316 for yourself, 622 00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:18,902 and you will do that again. 623 00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,571 And this little lady here 624 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,824 is very excited to see what that's gonna be. 625 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:27,786 Well, this man right here is very lucky he married you. 626 00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:28,869 [Cassy] Mm. 627 00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,623 Guys, I tried my imagination, 628 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,001 and you do not want to go down that road. 629 00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,084 [audience laughs] 630 00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,504 - We need to end this. - Yeah, you know, 631 00:21:37,587 --> 00:21:39,840 I can't believe the girls haven't broken yet. 632 00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:41,508 This was one of my best head games. 633 00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:44,720 You know, maybe the answer isn't head games. 634 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,198 Maybe we ought to come straight at this and get them to talk. 635 00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:48,307 [knocking at door] 636 00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,516 [door opens] 637 00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:53,478 You two just been sitting in silence staring at the walls? 638 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:55,355 We are teenagers in 2020. 639 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,607 If we don't have internet, we have nothing. 640 00:21:57,691 --> 00:21:59,943 - [audience laughs] - What is wrong with this generation? 641 00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:01,427 - [audience laughs] - [Big Show] Ah! 642 00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:03,655 Okay, here's the deal. 643 00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:06,867 I want each of you to tell the other what you're feeling. 644 00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:09,119 Be honest and direct. 645 00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:10,703 - I'm fine. - Whatever. 646 00:22:10,746 --> 00:22:11,663 [audience laughs] 647 00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:12,581 Okay. 648 00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:14,824 All right. I'm gonna stay here till we figure this out. 649 00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:16,376 I'm gonna get comfortable. 650 00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:18,170 I'm gonna take off my shoes, 651 00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:20,025 and then I'm gonna take off my socks. 652 00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:21,798 - [gasps] That smell haunts me! - No! 653 00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:22,924 [audience laughs] 654 00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:24,508 Okay. 655 00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:26,345 I'm sorry for blowing up. 656 00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:27,846 I'm new to all of this. 657 00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:31,099 I've never had to share my things, or my space. 658 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,310 I'm sorry for wearing your new jacket. 659 00:22:34,227 --> 00:22:35,227 Your stuff is cool. 660 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:36,520 You're cool. 661 00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:39,066 I just wanted to be like my big sister, 662 00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,234 and if I'm crowding you, 663 00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:43,718 I'll move into the tiny Harry Potter closet under the stairs. 664 00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:46,490 - [audience laughs] - No! I still want to share a room. 665 00:22:46,990 --> 00:22:48,992 We just have to figure out how to do it. 666 00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:51,578 I don't know. Maybe we need some rules? 667 00:22:51,661 --> 00:22:53,538 Oh my God, yes. I love rules! 668 00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,415 Ooh! I got it! I got it! I got it! 669 00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:56,917 This room needs a contract. 670 00:22:57,542 --> 00:23:00,128 Ladies, if there's one thing that the WWE taught me, 671 00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:01,773 always pee before your match... 672 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:02,797 [audience laughs] 673 00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:04,508 and how to do a contract signing. 674 00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:07,278 - I can do this! - [audience laughs] 675 00:23:07,302 --> 00:23:08,720 [rock music plays] 676 00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:10,889 Lady and Dad, 677 00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:12,349 please welcome 678 00:23:12,432 --> 00:23:15,268 two girls who both think they're my favorite sister, 679 00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:17,521 - [audience laughs] - Mandy and Lola. 680 00:23:17,604 --> 00:23:18,604 Whoo! 681 00:23:18,855 --> 00:23:19,855 [rock music fades] 682 00:23:20,148 --> 00:23:22,275 I still think, to make this contract signing official, 683 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,569 one of y'all needs to get powerbombed through the table, 684 00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:26,488 - [audience laughs] - but I got overruled. 685 00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:30,867 Okay, Mandy, you can borrow the clothes from my top drawer or bottom drawer, 686 00:23:30,951 --> 00:23:32,327 but never the middle. 687 00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:33,411 - [pen scratches] - Lola, 688 00:23:33,453 --> 00:23:35,414 I'll keep food on my side of the room, 689 00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:38,291 and I'll never assume you want a hug, unless you give me the signal. 690 00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:39,376 Don't wait for it. 691 00:23:39,876 --> 00:23:41,476 - [tentatively] Okay. - [audience laughs] 692 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:44,339 You really want a hug, 693 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:46,049 - don't you? - I really do. 694 00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:47,342 - [audience laughs] - Okay. 695 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:48,427 Five seconds. 696 00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:50,913 - [Cassy laughs] - [Big Show] Aw... 697 00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:52,263 See? 698 00:23:52,597 --> 00:23:53,597 You're The Punisher, 699 00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:54,807 but I'm... 700 00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:57,936 - The Peacemaker. - [audience laughs] 701 00:23:58,019 --> 00:24:00,230 Okay, um... [laughs] let's just make you a new one. 702 00:24:00,313 --> 00:24:01,953 I don't want you stretching this one out. 703 00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:02,858 I got it off Etsy, 704 00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:05,277 and it took like 13 weeks to get here from the Ukraine. 705 00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:07,571 - [audience laughs] - This has been really sweet. 706 00:24:07,654 --> 00:24:08,947 Good stuff, guys. 707 00:24:09,197 --> 00:24:13,785 Now please, for the love of God, [through mic] turn the Wi-Fi back on. 708 00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:14,869 [audience laughs] 709 00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:17,873 [upbeat pop ending credits playing] 710 00:24:47,652 --> 00:24:49,821 Subtitle translation by