(distant poppy music)
(phone buzzes)
[driver] Want me to drop you off here?
Oh, uh…
yeah, yeah this, looks right.
I, uh, haven’t been here before.
(music comes into focus with crowd cheers and jubilation)
Loo-NA!
Hey girl!
Glad you could make it!
Tex!
Yeah, hey,
thanks for inviting me.
‘Course, ‘course.
Hey!
Everyone!
Meet the new face:
[Tex barks and howls]
(crowd howls)
You want a drink or anything?
Oh, uh, sure, yeah, totally.
[speaking in Valley Girl] And so I told him…
I’m not gonna go get it unless
you fucking throw it this time.
That is so not fetch.
Not fetch.
[Loona laughing awkwardly]
Yeah, like that happens all the time.
[Loona laughing nervously]
O-M-G, Loona?
Lunatic Loona?
That you?
Uh, yeah, it’s Loona.
Yeah.
Wow, I can’t believe
you’re showing up to another party.
I mean, do you even remember the last one?
I’m sure you’ll remind me.
Yeah, this…
This you right?
[Loona growls]
Why do you still have that?
It brings me joy!
You know you’re supposed to
keep things that bring you joy.
[Loona growls]
Wow,
you’re being really negative.
Your aura is really aggressive right now.
Oh yeah?
Well maybe it’s ‘cause I’m in
the presence of a massive bitch!
(crowd inhales shocked)
Oh..my god.
Wow.
What?
Is that not an okay thing to say?
Like c’mon, it’s true.
[distantly] You can’t say that.
Did I miss anything?
No,
no,
no.
[Loona nervously chuckles]
No, nothing.
No.
Haha, how are my dirty bitches doin’ tonight?
(crowd cheers and hounds howl)
Ow-ow!
Y’all ready to party with the Queen B of Gluttony?
C’mon.
(more cheers)
Hell yeah, ‘cause the honey is flowing tonight!
And this bitch ‘bout to get fucking wild.
Let’s get it started!
♪ Cotton candy, cotton ca-- candy ♪
♪ Candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy ♪
♪ Hey! ♪
♪ I'm whatchu need, ♪
♪ I'm watchu want ♪
♪ I got it all, a carnivale, ♪
♪ I'll bring you up, ♪
♪ I'll take you down ♪
♪ I'm sticky sweet, ♪
♪ stuck in your teeth like ♪
♪ Cotton candy! ♪
♪ Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah) ♪
♪ Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-oh) ♪
♪ Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah) ♪
♪ I'm whatchu want, ♪
♪ not watchu need (Ah-ah, ah-oh) ♪
♪ Hey! I don't know why, ♪
♪ I'm whatchu want, ♪
♪ but it's the truth, ♪
♪ I'm not your lie. ♪
♪ Let them eat cake, ♪
♪ let them eat pie. ♪
♪ Or, better yet, ♪
♪ let them eat ♪
♪ cotton candy. ♪
♪ Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah) ♪
♪ Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-oh) ♪
♪ Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah) ♪
♪ I'm whatchu want, ♪
♪ not watchu need! ♪
♪ Cotton candy skies, ♪
♪ sweet as apple pie. ♪
♪ I can't help but shine ♪
♪ brighter than the starlight in the sky. ♪
♪ Cotton candy ♪
♪ Cotton candy (Yeah) ♪
♪ Cotton candy ♪
♪ I'm whatchu want, ♪
♪ not watchu need. ♪
So, watchu want?
Ya hungry?
Take a bite!
Get fucked tonight!
♪ So, watchu want? ♪
Your Queen Bee brings the sweet stuff,
so keep making me that motherfucking honey!
Yeah, keep it comin'!
♪ Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah) ♪
♪ Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-oh) ♪
♪ Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah) ♪
♪ I'm whatchu want, ♪
♪ not watchu need! ♪
♪ Cotton candy skies! ♪
♪ Sweet as apple pie! ♪
♪ I can't hеlp but shine! ♪
♪ Brighter than the starlight ♪
♪ Cotton candy skiеs ♪
♪ Sweet as apple pie! ♪
♪ I can't help but shine (Woo!) ♪
♪ Brighter than the starlight in the sky! ♪
(crowd cheering and howling)
Awoo, awoo!
Vortex!
The party is buzzin' now!
Fuck!
I feel like I went a little too hard
with the confetti this time, though.
I have like...
a rainbow,
in my vagina right now.
Oh, hey!
Is this the sweet pup you told me about?
Excuse me?
She's a fucking cutie!
Where you been hiding, girl?
[Bee chuckles]
Is there something funny?
Nah, I’m just really high on
all this tasty energy right now.
Tex says you don’t get invited out much.
I hope this itty-bitty get-together
can serve as a fun… first time.
(metal clang and crunch)
Mhm.
I would’ve thrown a bigger one but I couldn’t convince
Belphegor to let me break into her stash of party drugs.
So fucking lame!
I mean, I usually just steal them,
but Bel changed the locks.
She says I'm a total jackass for trying.
But, hey...
I'm proud to be a total jackass.
Heh.
Anyway, yeah, Bee, this is Loona.
And, Loona, this is my girlfriend, Bee.
Nice to meet ya, bitch!
Oh, this is...
she's hot.
Ha!
Holy shit!
Okay.
Tex, you didn't tell me she was hilarious.
That's so funny.
Right.
I love that that's the first thing you say to me.
You don't give a shit how freaky you come off,
and that's fucking beautiful.
You are my new favorite person.
Am I, though?
Yeah, bitch!
No, really!
Reminds me of the first time I saw Satan without a shirt on.
I was like, "Oof! Boy! You are hot as hell!"
But, then I wanted to die,
'cause it was so awkward
'cause he's more like a brother to me.
You know,
but not actually my brother.
So,
I guess...
it was fine.
I could hit that...
Anyway, girl,
you have a good time tonight.
Get some sweets,
get some eats.
Drink it,
tear it,
fuck it up!
Woo!
Cheers, honey.
Thank you for coming.
Do you need anything?
Are you having fun?
Are you good?
Are you drunk?
Ok, good.
Ok, great.
[Bee, distantly] Are you good?
Yeah…I’m gonna go.
Uh what?
Why?
You just got here.
At least one drink, right?
Nope, you really wouldn’t like me after one drink.
[Loona sniffles]
(puppies barking ringtone rings)
So stupid…
Shouldn’t have come.
(brakes screech and engine revs)
Hey Loony.
How ya doin’?
You all right?
(My World Is Burning Down Around Me plays from the van)
Yeah, I’m fine.
I just wanna go.
Hey-Hey!
That sounds like Blitzo!
The ‘o’ is silent asshole!
He-hey!
I knew it was you,
fuck man where ya been?
You here for the party?
N-no, I’m just here picking up my daughter.
Oh shit, you have a daughter now?
Adopted!
Aw man, you’re already leavin’?
Things just got started.
Come in and show us all up again.
No, no thank you but I think
Loony wants to head back.
Aww, hottie next to you wants to leave?
[Blitzø snarls] Watch it.
I mean,
we could stay a little longer.
I think we need to go, ‘kay?
I think it’s been a long night.
Well, these people seem to know you.
C’mon!
I think I wanna give this another try.
Please?
Ok, fine.
Maybe one drink.
[Loona] Blitz, Blitz, Blitz!
Ah!
(hellhounds howl)
Ah haha!
That was nothing bitch!
Give me a real challenge!
Oh, yeah?
Wanna fucks with the big bitch, imp boy?
I got a challenge for ya.
Oh, he’s gonna die.
Aight let’s do this!
From Bee’s personal supply,
the hardest shit there is.
You ready my man?
Oh born ready!
Bring it, barky!
I will drink you under this fuckin’ table,
you have no idea what kind of night I’ve had.
[Bee chuckles menacingly]
Alright shit talker, but
there hasn’t been a soul yet
who can beat me at my own game,
so you better bring the fire baby.
oOoH, is Queen B too scared
to lose to a little imp like me?
Oh-ho, okay.
Let’s get it on ya little bastard.
C’mon Blitz, fuck her up!
You can do it!
Who’s the queen now?!
Yeah, that’s my dad!
Well fuck me,
that’s a first.
I haven’t had a first in a while.
That was magical, seriously, impressive.
I tip my crown to you imp boy.
Respect.
[Bee howls with the crowd] Awoo-Awoo!
(crowd cheering as party turns up)
(barking chatter)
Hey Loon,
I don’t mean to be a buzzkill here,
but your uh…dad, guy dude… is um…
he’s seeming a bit--
out of control.
Like, a mess.
Yeah, it’s worrisome.
You wanna maybe, check on him or something?
What?
No.
No, Blitz is fine, he’s always a mess.
Trust me.
Look honey, I see people havin’ fun
and getting fucked up all the time, but
he’s clearly getting wasted off his ass
and causing problems on purpose.
So I feel like, you should check up on him at least.
Just see if something’s up.
Don’t act like you know him like I do--
I ain’t sayin’ that, I’m just pretty sure he’s
had like, four tongues inside him at once.
I mean, good for him, but I can taste the
flavor of people at my parties, and he’s
giving off a very not okay vibe, you know?
Oh yeah, and I’d bet you know the okay vibe, right?
I mean everyone likes you so much.
What’s that supposed to mean,
you got a problem or something sour cream?
Don’t fuck with me.
[Loona sighs]
Sorry, yeah.
Nope.
I’ll-uh…I'll check on him.
Aww…sorry,
sorry.
I know I got a little spicy there.
I just,
hope everything works out.
Now let’s dance!
Blitz!
Where are you, shithead!
Bli--
Oh piss on a dick!
What the fuck are you doing, Blitz?
[drunkenly] This guy.
It looks like you’re in the
middle of a goddamn orgy.
Stop!
[Blitzø blasted off his tits] Look,
I didn’t expect you to
come in here and see any of this, Loony.
I’m so sorry but it’s a party!
I’m just havin’ fun with um…
fuck is your name again?
Dennis.
Christ on a stick,
you would be a Dennis.
Get the fuck away from me!
I’m not fuckin’ a Dennis tonight!
I need a Monica or Alejandro in here,
stat!
Better.
You don’t need anyone else
suckin’ your face freaky weirdo.
You need to drink something
other than Beelzejuice.
Ugh…
no.
Do you need to throw up?
No.
Huh, yeah you do.
I had really shitty day.
Oh yeah?
Is that why you drank like five
gallons worth of who knows what?
Fuck, Fizz was right.
I’m gonna die alone, aren’t I?
Just a wrinkly, old, weathered waste.
Will you be there Loony?
Be where?
I don--
[muffled drunk talk into the pillow]
--lonely…
…die alone.
I’ll be there, dad.
Now go the fuck to sleep, okay?
[drunk muttering] Millie, and Moxxie, and Stolas…
[violent vomiting]
Fuck…
yeah I did need to throw up.
Cya in Hell, nord