Extra, extra! Read all about it!
School newspaper goes bust!
A real live newspaper?
Like beepers, phonographs and me,
I thought these things were dead.
Yeah. This is the last edition
of The Brighton Middle School Bugle.
We lost our funding in budget cuts.
This is an outrage!
Journalism is about truth,
no matter where it takes us!
School spirit suffocates in silence.
This cannot, will not--
You didn't even know there was a school paper, did you?
No, I did not! But now that I do,
we will save The Bugle!
Listen up, everybody. The Bugle needs a makeover.
A total overhaul.
You picking up what I'm putting down?
- You smelling what I'm cooking? - [sniffs] I smell it!
As your advisor, I advise you
to keep your enthusiasm to a dull roar.
[groans]
Right. Sorry, Mr. Pham.
Andrea, you're on culture and fashion.
I'll give you the who wore what,
when, where and why it was a mistake.
[Molly] Sheila, you're my go-to sports gal.
I'll knock it out of the park.
[Molly] Nashua, cafeteria food critic.
Lunch lady Olga doesn't pull punches.
Neither will I.
Uh, boss, what about me?
I need a hard-hitting piece worthy of our front page.
Something so juicy even The Perfektborg Post will be jealous.
Sounds like a job for...
[sniffs] The Bloodhound of Truth.
And The Scoop-Snoop! [sniffing]
Come on, who calls you that?
Look, you want the help of a supernatural entity
that can make himself invisible, glide through solid walls,
and knows all the best lunch spots, or not?
Okay, Scoop-Snoop, let's rock.
[howls]
Now for the dirty work, selling ads.
I've been out here all day,
and the only ad I've sold is to Weird Larry.
I really don't think that Baby Skunk Daycare
is going to take off like he hopes,
but I do love his enthusiasm.
Well, only one business left.
Save The Bugle! Save democracy!
[man, warbled] Welcome to Flavor Burger.
Would you like to try our new 100% turnip burger?
Was that a yes?
Pull up to the next window.
What do you say, Miss Fiamma?
Are you in to protect our freedom of press
by sponsoring an ad in The Brighton Bugle?
Well, we do need to advertise
our new 100% Brighton Turnip Burger. Heh.
Ah, what the heck?
I'm supporting local turnip farmers.
I might as well support local journalism, too.
Let's go for it. We'll take a full page
in every future edition of The Bugle.
- [car horn honks] - Back off!
I'm saving journalism here!
[investigative music playing]
♪ Go get that gossip, go get that dish ♪
[teacher] That's criminal!
♪ Ooh, that sounds juicy ♪
♪ Very suspish ♪
♪ It's just a teacher microwaving some fish ♪
Oh...
♪ You gotta snoop ♪
♪ For a scoop... ♪
Hot dish like gossip, not a literal hot dish.
♪ Maybe that substitute is smuggling cash ♪
[substitute] Hey, that's my lunch!
♪ Maybe that janitor's got a fake mustache ♪
Ow!
♪ You need that front page story ♪
♪ To make a splash ♪
♪ You gotta snoop for a scoop ♪
♪ They're writing 'bout lacrosse, they got hot goss ♪
♪ They're tasting cafeteria pizza sauce ♪
[slurps] Hmm. Middling at best.
♪ Look at the bus driver, Gus, looking so sus ♪
♪ Putting that bag in the back of his bus... ♪
Let's air your dirty laundry, Gus.
Oh, it's his actual laundry, gross!
♪ Following your nose, sniffing every scent ♪
♪ Maybe you can sneak inside that vent... ♪
And... I'm stuck.
We always protect our sources at The Bugle,
especially when it's my brother.
Darryl, I don't know how, but I think they're on to you.
[Andrea] "I couldn't help but wonder,
was I wearing the clothes,
or were the clothes wearing me?"
Mr. Mayor, the story prints with or without a comment from Goldie!
- Finished, boss! - Nashua, this is not six column inches.
Get it down to a page.
I can't possibly do justice
to square-shaped pizza in one page.
The spice blend, the slice of technique. The mouthfeel.
Turnips! Ugh...
One page.
And stop saying "mouthfeel." It's freaking people out.
[gasps] The angles, the facial expressions.
These photos really tell a story.
And that story is I have this for four to six weeks.
Way to take one for the team, Sheila.
Libby, you got my front page story?
Is it juicy, in-depth, hard-hitting?
Uh, it will be.
It will be?
This is the headline story, Libby.
We need it to make readers salivate, and we need it now!
Or do you want us to put out a paper
with a blank first page?
[wind howling]
That is not what Flavor Burger is paying us for!
Don't worry, boss, it'll be ready by the time we go to print.
That was a blatant lie.
I know! There's got to be a story around here somewhere.
Buglers! Dee-da-dee!
The librarian is waiting to go to press on this edition.
The future of journalism depends on us!
Delivery from Flavor Burger,
where the odds of flavor are always in your favor.
"Hope these 100% Brighton Turnip Burgers fuel
your quest for truth and justice."
Ha! I'd say integrity is its own reward,
but this is pretty good, too.
100% Brighton turnips? Ugh.
Do I even want to try this?
[Molly] Oh, is it that bad?
No, that good!
This is delicious!
Celery, carrot, oregano,
and something else, but I can't place it.
It's delightful, but strange.
[all happily moan]
These are the best burgers I've ever had.
How did Flavor Burger make turnips taste this delicious?
[Nashua] It's impossible.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
Uh-huh. Something stinks at Flavor Burger.
Here's the real scandal. Why would anyone throw away
perfectly good chicken nuggets?
[Scratch gasps]
- [raccoon chitters] - [Libby groans]
This stake-out is a bust.
Maybe there's no story here.
Maybe they've made turnips tasty.
You and I both know that is impossible.
[Libby] Wait a minute!
That sign is faker
than Ezekiel Tugbottom's legacy.
Something is fishy here.
Ooh, tell me about it.
Oh, you meant Flavor Burger.
Yeah, yeah, something's messed up for sure.
She just threw away the turnips.
But they're the main ingredient in the Flavor Burgers.
Unless they're not.
[both] Flavor Burgers are made of...
[Molly] Perfektborg Parsnips?
[all gasp]
They're serving burger with a side of lies.
You wanted hard-hitting?
Well, this story hits like a ton of bricks.
Perfektborg Parsnips. Of course!
I knew there was a delicious ingredient I couldn't identify.
I mean, a disgusting ingredient
that shall never grace this tongue again.
Great work, Libby!
Just the kind of story that proves why
we need a school paper to begin with.
But if we run it, we'll lose our biggest sponsor.
And The Bugle will shut down.
And we won't be able to report
on any other stories ever again.
[groans] What am I going to do?
I set out to save The Bugle.
- If I run the story, we're sunk. - Well, I mean, uh...
Can I really bury a story like this?
Could I even call myself a journalist?
- Um... - [scoffs] But then again...
what good is journalism if there is no paper?
Do I silence the story or The Bugle?
Well, it seems like you don't actually want my input here,
so I'm just going to let you figure this out on your own.
A wise person once told me, journalism is about truth,
no matter where it takes us.
Using my own words against me, that hurts.
[suspenseful music playing]
[sighs]
They'll thank me one day.
[button clicks]
Parsnips? From Perfektborg? How could they?
[screams]
[exclaims]
[grunting]
[all chanting] Flavor Burger Betrays Brighton!
Turn down the flavor!
[all chanting] Flavor Burger Betrays Brighton!
Turn down the flavor!
You don't understand! You can't make turnips tasty!
I tried. I really tried.
[chanting continues]
Wow, takes guts, McGee,
I'm proud of you.
Yeah. The people deserve to know.
I mean, sure, Flavor Burger pulled their funding,
but maybe, somehow, the paper will be fine.
I'm just going to have a positive mental attitude.
Everything will be all...
Right, team, we're all out of a job.
It's been an honor to be
your editor-in-chief for the 16 whole hours.
I'm sorry that it's had to end like this.
I guess that's the price you pay for integrity, so...
[scattered slow clap]
[gasps] Guys! You know I've always wanted
a slow clap just for me!
[knock on door]
Is this The Brighton Bugle newsroom?
I want to buy an ad for my bakery.
- Us, too. - Me three!
But you all turned me down yesterday.
That was before you became
the number one news source in town.
Joanie Pataky just announced it this morning.
Joanie Pataky with KWP,
now your number two source for local news
behind The Brighton Middle School Bugle.
[grunts] I didn't go to grad school for this!
[emotional music playing]
Team, The Bugle is saved!
Democracy wins!
[cheering]
What did I say about keeping the enthusiasm to a minimum?
[muted cheering]
♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
[theme music plays]