1 00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:04,047 . 2 00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,702 - Yet again we're seeing record-high temperatures 3 00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:08,486 here in the Southland, Mayor Bremer. 4 00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:11,750 Is it global warming or God punishing Hollywood 5 00:00:11,794 --> 00:00:13,491 for its many sins? 6 00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:17,147 - Andrea, this heat wave is putting a lot of stress 7 00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,975 on the electrical grid. 8 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,542 We're all suffering. 9 00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:25,460 Uh, but we all--we all have to do our, uh--our part, 10 00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:26,809 you know, to conserve energy. 11 00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:30,856 Even--even here at--at City Hall, we are-- 12 00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,510 Jayden. [clears throat] 13 00:00:32,554 --> 00:00:36,862 Sorry. Well, we're turning the AC off, uh... 14 00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:39,691 during peak hours and rolling blackouts have-- 15 00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:42,216 - It's too hot in there. - The mayor is-- 16 00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:46,307 - Yeah, rolling blackouts have--have happened. 17 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:48,091 [indistinct shouting] 18 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,615 Anyway, do your part. Stay cool, L.A. 19 00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:53,227 [bright music] 20 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:59,363 ♪ 21 00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:01,757 - Thank you in advance for your patience. 22 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:05,195 The city's free cooling center will be open soon. 23 00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,850 - The website said 10:00 to 6:00. 24 00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:09,765 - What I'm hearing is the website works. 25 00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:12,550 But we did have a little problem with our vendor. 26 00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,770 The tent we ordered is currently being used 27 00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,728 at a For Your Consideration event 28 00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:18,556 for "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel." 29 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,471 I promise we will get it back 30 00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:22,821 as soon as Tony Shalhoub finishes the Q&A. 31 00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:24,388 Mr. Tomás? 32 00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:28,871 - Uh, we have lukewarm bags of water that were once ice. 33 00:01:28,914 --> 00:01:31,308 - Bad news--Shalhoub is taking questions about "Monk" now. 34 00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:34,006 - They did 125 episodes. That could take all day. 35 00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:35,878 We got to get some kind of structure down here now. 36 00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:38,576 - Okay, my guy's at the warehouse, and he found a tent. 37 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,100 It's from the last "Real Housewives" reunion 38 00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,405 so it had some hair and blood on it. 39 00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:42,798 - Hose it down, make it work. - You got it. 40 00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:45,496 - All right, a solution is in the works. 41 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:49,979 - Mikaela, you've been online dating for a very long time. 42 00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:51,546 - I got to the end of Hinge. 43 00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:54,418 - Well, I joined this dating app, but-- 44 00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:56,072 - You're getting mixed messages? 45 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,205 Like, you think you swiped on a single guy, but it turns out 46 00:01:58,248 --> 00:01:59,945 it's a couple looking for a third, 47 00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:01,860 and at first, you're like, "No way," but then you're like, 48 00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:03,862 "I don't know, at least everyone's being honest here." 49 00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:06,300 - No, actually, it's been going great. 50 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:07,779 - Awesome, me too. 51 00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:10,173 - Yeah, I've been matched with so many lovely ladies. 52 00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:12,436 - Cool, cool, being a man seems cool. 53 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,786 - But flirting online is just so different. 54 00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:18,007 All this texting instead of meeting in person. 55 00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:20,749 - Yep, I prefer to meet women the old-fashioned way. 56 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,533 Selling candy bars while they're eating outside 57 00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,448 at a restaurant and their boyfriend's in the bathroom. 58 00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,885 - See, I'm trying to find something real here, 59 00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:29,671 but I can't get out of the small-talk stage. 60 00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:32,630 All these women keep asking me to tell them what street 61 00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:35,242 I grew up on and my mother's maiden name, 62 00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:36,634 which seems a little weird, 63 00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:39,071 but I just don't know what's normal anymore. 64 00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:41,204 - Mm... - Yeah, please. 65 00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:42,640 - Oh, honey. 66 00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:43,946 - Wait, we're allowed to call him honey? 67 00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:45,165 - No. Absolutely not. 68 00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,905 - Sorry, it's just-- it's a scam. 69 00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:49,169 These are bots-- you're flirting with robots 70 00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:50,561 that are trying to steal your identity. 71 00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,128 - Wait, there's nothing wrong with robots, okay? 72 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,043 I've had a thing for that Star Tours droid for years. 73 00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:58,352 - Oh, no. I'd like to see a bot with a figure like this. 74 00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,658 - That's probably just a stolen image. 75 00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:04,271 Yeah, that's the lady from the sexy senior asthma commercials. 76 00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:07,404 [pleasant music] 77 00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:11,103 - Now I have enough breath to blow a kiss. 78 00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:13,323 [smooches] 79 00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:14,803 - Oh, Ventilify. 80 00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:16,631 I'm on that, but it's to inhibit hair growth. 81 00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:19,634 - Oh, this profile's using a pic of her, too. 82 00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:21,853 - No, no, I've messaged with this gal. 83 00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:24,508 She's a flight attendant. - No, that's the same actress. 84 00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:25,857 She also plays a flight attendant 85 00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:27,511 in the Delta Air Lines safety video. 86 00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:29,861 - So buckle up for fun 87 00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:34,431 because fun is as good as on time. 88 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,780 - Wait, I Googled her. 89 00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:37,695 Her name is Angelica Masters, and she's 90 00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:40,872 on the Champagne Chestnut box of L'Oréal hair dye. 91 00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:43,484 - So many of these fake accounts use her pictures. 92 00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,268 I guess the algorithm knows what it's doing. 93 00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:47,314 She's basically a Chico's supermodel. 94 00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:48,706 - This is unacceptable. 95 00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,708 They're toying with people's feelings. 96 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,536 I thought an actual woman wanted to know 97 00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:54,190 the name of my first pet! 98 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,018 You know something? 99 00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:58,716 I'm in a position to do something about this. 100 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,153 And someone has to let Angelica Masters know. 101 00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:02,633 - Are you sure, sir? 102 00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,069 We really should be dealing with these blackouts. 103 00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,070 - Hey, Kathy. - What? 104 00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:07,203 - Get--get Angelica Masters! 105 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,552 - That was intense. 106 00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:10,293 How'd you stay so calm back there? 107 00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:11,816 - Experience. Faith in the process. 108 00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:13,514 I'm gonna duck into this mini mart for a second. 109 00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:14,950 You want anything? 110 00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:16,430 - I'll go with you. 111 00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,040 - That's not what I asked. Do you want anything? 112 00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:20,651 - I want to see the choices! 113 00:04:20,695 --> 00:04:23,350 - Looks like they got some cool stuff in the back there. 114 00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,830 I'm seeing corn nuts, washer fluid, 115 00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:28,485 fake Academy Awards for people with common Western names. 116 00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:30,270 - No, I just want a cold drink. 117 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:31,967 - Hey, Arpi. 118 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,099 Four Ladybug Luck scratchers coming up. 119 00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:37,102 - I think you're mistaking me for another tiny Arpi. 120 00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:40,280 - Oh, you. I love that you take time to joke. 121 00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:41,672 I think we'd be friends 122 00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:44,762 even if you didn't buy lottery tickets every day. 123 00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:47,722 - Okay, fine. Now you know my secret shame. 124 00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,637 - An emotional affair with a convenience store clerk? 125 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,769 - No. It's the scratchers, okay? 126 00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:55,251 They're my thing. These will pay for those. 127 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,600 - Okay, see you tomorrow, Arpi! 128 00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:58,210 - I know they're a waste of money 129 00:04:58,254 --> 00:04:59,821 and a regressive tax on the poor 130 00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,302 but after a hellish morning like we just had, 131 00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:03,433 I need a little win... 132 00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,522 or a loss-- it doesn't even matter. 133 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:08,133 These keep me sane, so stop judging me. 134 00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:10,875 - I'm not judging anyone. Some people need vices to cope. 135 00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,355 - Oh, but you don't? 136 00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:14,226 - What can I say? Some of us are just well adjusted. 137 00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,358 #BuiltDifferent. 138 00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:17,534 - [gasps, laughs] 139 00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:19,144 - Free ticket! 140 00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:20,798 - Are you at least being smart about this? 141 00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:22,539 - What does that mean? Scratchers are random. 142 00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:23,888 - Well, I read this article 143 00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:25,586 that there are ways to game the system. 144 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,675 You know, buy in bulk, chat up store owners to see 145 00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:30,808 which locations are due to hit, choose new games over old. 146 00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:34,421 - Well, shoot, I'm gonna have to give those tricks a try. 147 00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,814 - Ooh, is that cold? - Yeah, I just got it. 148 00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:42,124 - [laughs] 149 00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,604 - Coping mechanism. 150 00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:46,389 - Look, obviously, I get why they use your picture. 151 00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:48,348 - Well, it's been going on for a while. 152 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:51,002 I appeal to sex-positive seniors, 153 00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:55,746 senior-curious millennials, and meme-loving incels. 154 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:59,228 I just hate that my photo is being used to catfish people 155 00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:00,664 and that the name 156 00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:03,450 of my favorite fish now means something so dark. 157 00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,495 - Well, if you feel that strongly, 158 00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:07,192 maybe we could team up. 159 00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:10,631 - Well, I happen to be in town shooting a commercial 160 00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,241 for the new Depends thong. 161 00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:16,201 I suppose I could record something later this week. 162 00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,333 - Oh, that's fantastic. 163 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,856 Uh, I'll--I'll have 164 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,642 my comms department get in touch with your people. 165 00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:24,514 - Well, there is just one issue. 166 00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:26,429 How do I know that you're not a bot? 167 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,562 - Maybe send me a bunch of pictures 168 00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,825 and have me click on all the stop signs. 169 00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:34,132 - Or we could meet in person. 170 00:06:34,176 --> 00:06:36,744 Do you eat dinner? 171 00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:40,312 - Every night, except when I fall asleep on the couch. 172 00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:42,314 - Great, I'll see you tonight. 173 00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:43,577 I must say, though 174 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:47,972 while I'm not a robot, I am a machine... 175 00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:49,626 in bed. 176 00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:56,677 . 177 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,201 - Morning. [laughs] 178 00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:01,682 - Whoa, someone's in a good mood. 179 00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:03,466 It's me. I had breakfast churros. 180 00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:07,209 - Why did I wait so long to date women my own age? 181 00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:08,471 - Oh, because you're rich, sir. 182 00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:12,127 - I had a fantastic night with Angelica. 183 00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,998 You know, when you're with someone your own age, 184 00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:16,740 you connect in such a different way. 185 00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:18,481 - Like about wills and stuff? 186 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:21,266 - Like about our favorite books and music 187 00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,834 and how all other generations are the worst. 188 00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:26,881 I'm telling you, I think this could be something special. 189 00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:28,143 - Okay, so, just to summarize, 190 00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:29,623 you've been on an app for one week. 191 00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,755 You got catfished using a picture of an actress, 192 00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:34,149 but then you just met that actress and took her out. 193 00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:35,716 - Where do you even take a commercial queen? 194 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:37,631 I mean, she's already twirled through a field of daisies. 195 00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:41,112 - Actually, we never even left the hotel room. 196 00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,723 - Are you gonna be a dad? - Okay. 197 00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:46,117 Gross/congratulations, sir, but the office is not the place 198 00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:47,554 to discuss your one-night stand. 199 00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:49,904 - I think you mean first-night stand. 200 00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,514 If this were a one-night stand, 201 00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:54,430 would we have been texting all morning? 202 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,694 - Ah, I don't really see a we texting here. 203 00:07:57,738 --> 00:07:59,522 I see you triple-texting 204 00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:02,351 in exchange for a thumbs-up reaction? 205 00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:04,875 - Yeah, so? What's better than a thumbs-up? 206 00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,137 Right, Jayden? 207 00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:09,793 - Oh my God, thank you, sir! [laughing] 208 00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:13,057 - 1,000 buckaroos. 209 00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:14,450 Last night, I followed your advice, 210 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,973 and I hit it big on scratchers. 211 00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,148 - Oh, that's great. 212 00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:18,454 - You'd think so. 213 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,456 But around 4:00 a.m., I was still awake, 214 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,285 and I realized the truth-- you ruined me. 215 00:08:23,328 --> 00:08:25,287 - Mm, you know, I really thought I was safe 216 00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,071 from ever having this conversation with a woman. 217 00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:28,943 - Turns out the best part of playing scratchers 218 00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:30,597 isn't the money. 219 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,164 It's the-- Wa-cha!-- 220 00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,645 the unpredictability, and you took that away. 221 00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:37,255 - Okay. 222 00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:40,084 I guess I'm sorry that I helped you win a bunch of money? 223 00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:42,043 - Your apology is like the Super Bowl. 224 00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:45,307 Just because it's happening doesn't mean I care about it. 225 00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:48,615 - What kind of sorcery is this? 226 00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:51,792 Why--why am I mad you gave me $1,000? 227 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,010 - [groans] 228 00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:55,447 - Hey, Mikaela, are we coordinating 229 00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:57,232 with the Beverly Hills Mayor's Office 230 00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:58,799 about these power outages? 231 00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,757 - Yes, sir. They're encouraging residents to evacuate 232 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:03,238 to the nearest Mercedes S-, E-, or C-Class. 233 00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,806 - Anything about cell towers being down? 234 00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:08,809 I'm hearing a lot of talk about texts not getting through. 235 00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:11,420 - Oh, please don't tell me this is what I think it is. 236 00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,422 - Well, just look at this, though. 237 00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:16,773 I mean, yesterday Angelica responded right away. 238 00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:20,647 See? Look, question mark, "Okay," "Can't talk right now," 239 00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:24,302 "Driving" and then an emoji with no mouth. 240 00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:26,348 But today look at that. Nothing. 241 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:27,741 - Sir, she's ghosting you. 242 00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,003 - Ghosting me? 243 00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:30,352 - Don't listen to Mikaela, sir. 244 00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:31,745 This is standard cat-and-mouse stuff. 245 00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,703 I go years without hearing from women. 246 00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:36,750 - Okay, maybe we can save this. What have you texted her today? 247 00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,447 - Whoa. - Oh, God. 248 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,971 Did you copy and paste all the lyrics to a Joni Mitchell song? 249 00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:43,670 - No. No, I-I typed them out. 250 00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,236 - And a voice memo? 251 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:46,760 - It does voice memos? 252 00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:51,199 Siri, search Angelica Masters control-top pantyhose. 253 00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:54,376 - And you sent her a red heart? 254 00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:56,378 - [scoffs] Sir, the progression 255 00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:58,685 is green heart, yellow heart, purple heart, pink heart, 256 00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,425 double-pink heart, then red heart. 257 00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:02,253 - A red heart is what you send to your mom 258 00:10:02,297 --> 00:10:03,733 on, like, Mothers' Day or to your dad 259 00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,561 when he sends you a picture of fish he caught 260 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,302 and you don't know how else to connect. 261 00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:09,696 - God, what's wrong with me? 262 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,567 I'm being a total doofus. 263 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,090 And it's because of this thing. 264 00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:16,224 I'm gonna go talk to her face-to-face. 265 00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:17,878 - Oh, no, no, no. - Yes, yes, yes. 266 00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:19,053 - Sir, I am gonna tell you 267 00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:20,750 what I would tell any friend of mine. 268 00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:22,752 Do not contact Angelica for one year. 269 00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:24,101 - You're being hyperbolic. 270 00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:25,886 - You need her to forget what you did. 271 00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:27,409 - Come on. 272 00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:29,454 - I am being as serious as Nicole Kidman in a drama 273 00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:31,369 where she cannot be Australian. 274 00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:33,589 One year, minimum. 275 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,678 - I'll set a one-year timer on your phone, sir. 276 00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:37,941 Is the old car horn ringtone okay? 277 00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,769 - No, no, no. 278 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:47,081 - Ms. Shaw, did you see my memo? 279 00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:48,952 - Uh, yeah, you're mad at Tommy 280 00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:51,302 because he made you too good at scratchers? 281 00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:54,262 - Yes. You may have noticed the erasers 282 00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:56,481 have been gnawed off all the office pencils. 283 00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:59,528 It was my doing. I-I'm a little on edge. 284 00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,748 - Arpi, there's a Salvatore for you on line one. 285 00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:04,141 - I will call him back, Véronica! 286 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,928 This is the time of day I'd normally be scratching. 287 00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:09,581 - Yeah. Hey, I get it. 288 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:12,062 You know, when I'm overwhelmed, I just take a Buzzfeed quiz. 289 00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:13,324 - Show me. 290 00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:16,284 Omelet. "Despicable Me." Boxer briefs. 291 00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:19,722 Tomato soup. A sunset. The blue dress. 292 00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:22,290 The light-blue dress. The strapless blue dress. 293 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:25,510 Boxer briefs. Butter pecan. Simba. 294 00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:29,297 - Done. And your ideal roommate is... 295 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:32,909 [gasps] Olivia Rodrigo! Ooh, fun. 296 00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:34,476 - This does not float my barge. 297 00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:36,260 - Okay. Well, let's just take another one quiz. 298 00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:38,698 Which "Sex and the City" character are you? 299 00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:39,742 - Easy. Magda. 300 00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:40,656 - Oh. - Yeah. 301 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,397 - Yeah, this job is a killer. 302 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,920 I used to stress-eat, 303 00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,792 but I've gotten a handle on it through daily meditation. 304 00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:47,837 I was just gonna do my app if you want to do it with me? 305 00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,752 - I guess we could find a private-- 306 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,841 Oh, right here. 307 00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:54,670 - Hi, I'm Coyote Dewitt. 308 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,803 Welcome to "The Mindful Minute." 309 00:11:56,846 --> 00:12:01,329 Let's begin, as always, by focusing on our "braadth." 310 00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,766 Breathing in, stopping to notice 311 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,726 where the "braadth" goes in and the "braadth" goes out. 312 00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:08,510 - Why does she say "breath" so weird? 313 00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:10,120 - That's supposed to be "breath"? 314 00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:12,775 I thought Braadth was some new god I was supposed to pray to. 315 00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,603 - 3:00, everybody. 316 00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:18,563 Oh. Oh, thank God. 317 00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,130 [machinery sputtering, electricity crackling] 318 00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,480 No, no, no! 319 00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:24,787 [dramatic music] 320 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,833 It's a brownout. 321 00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:29,183 - No! 322 00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:30,880 I'm going to the break-room fridge, 323 00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:33,230 and I'm gonna eat all the food before it melts! 324 00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:36,407 Oh, yeah. That'll get you there. 325 00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,845 - The stakes here may be too high. 326 00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:41,108 I bit into this thinking it was a lemon scone, 327 00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:43,240 and it is very much a tuna melt. 328 00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:45,025 - This always makes me feel fantastic 329 00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,853 for, like, 18 to 20 minutes 330 00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:49,812 and then very, very sleepy and sad. 331 00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,423 - Hey, Arpi, I need a quick word. 332 00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:54,164 Are you eating Valerie's birthday cake? 333 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,688 You know that her birthday was, like, before Thanksgiving. 334 00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:58,386 - Yeah, we're stress-eating, sir. 335 00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,736 - Oh. First, thank you. You were right. 336 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,565 I'm much happier dating a woman my own age. 337 00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,088 - When did I ever say that to you? 338 00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:08,091 - I may have imagined you yelling it at me, I guess. 339 00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:09,440 I don't know. 340 00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:11,399 Anyway, look, the youngsters are telling me 341 00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:15,011 that I can't call a certain special lady 342 00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,708 for a year. 343 00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:18,710 Now, those aren't Boomer rules, right? 344 00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:20,234 Boomers don't have a year to waste. 345 00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:23,193 - Don't lump me in with your "Big Chill" generation. 346 00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:25,152 I'm technically a Gen X preemie. 347 00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:26,588 - I think I should call her. 348 00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:28,198 - [inhales sharply] - What? What? 349 00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:29,678 - I never called Salvatore back. 350 00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:31,462 - Arpi, have you talked to Salvatore today? 351 00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,377 Apparently there's a problem with the cooling center. 352 00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:35,553 - This is what happens when I'm off my game! 353 00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:38,034 [cell phone vibrates] 354 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:40,297 - Hey, now. 355 00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:41,995 Oh. 356 00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:45,172 Uh, look-it, if Arpi calls, uh, tell her that I had to go, uh, 357 00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,087 deal with the heat at the-- you know, the place. 358 00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,479 Hey, Dan. Get the car. 359 00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:50,394 - [groaning] Oh, Braadth! 360 00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:52,701 Why have you forsaken me? 361 00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:54,442 . 362 00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:56,705 - Salvatore, what the crap is this? 363 00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,228 - Okay, hear me out. 364 00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,361 The cooling tent that I brought yesterday was a backup. 365 00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:01,971 And they already booked it for today 366 00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,668 for the roof of Soho House because sometimes 367 00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,540 the guests complain that the pool is too heated. 368 00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:08,238 - So you put senior citizens inside a damn clown? 369 00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,979 - Okay, continue hearing me out. 370 00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:11,502 I called you earlier and said, 371 00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:13,635 "Would you be okay with a high-end bouncy house?" 372 00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:15,419 And when I didn't hear from you, I followed my gut. 373 00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:16,986 I've been working on not overthinking things. 374 00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:18,814 - This is my fault because I was distracted. 375 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,207 - How fast can we get rid of this? 376 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,904 - Well, do we want no injuries or some injuries? 377 00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:24,080 'Cause those are two very different timelines. 378 00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:26,735 - [grunting] - Ay, la madre! 379 00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:28,432 - Get your head in the game, Arpi! 380 00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:30,652 - Why does that one old guy keep jumping? 381 00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:31,914 He's popcorning everybody. 382 00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,437 - What do you want me to do, Arpi? 383 00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:36,266 - I can't decide! Tommy, break my fingers. 384 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,399 I've read that extreme pain can focus the mind. 385 00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:40,401 Go for the pinky. 386 00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:42,272 - Look, do you remember when I told you 387 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,361 I don't have a secret coping mechanism? 388 00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:47,234 I lied, I do, and somehow you have made me feel guilty enough 389 00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:48,757 that I want to let you in on it. 390 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,106 - I'll do anything at this point 391 00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:51,716 except therapy or Peloton. 392 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,675 - Meet me at the corner of Tujunga and Ventura 393 00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:54,981 at 6:40 a.m. tomorrow. 394 00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:57,635 Don't wear anything baggy or with zippers. 395 00:14:57,679 --> 00:15:00,334 [dramatic music] 396 00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:02,249 ♪ 397 00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:04,642 - [chuckles] 398 00:15:04,686 --> 00:15:06,427 - Can I help you? 399 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,864 - You're the guy who does those E.D. commercials. 400 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,822 - Gorgialis. 401 00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,824 It's always nice to meet a fan. 402 00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:15,262 - What? No, no, no. I'm the mayor. 403 00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:16,654 - What are you doing here? 404 00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:20,310 - Me? What's the boner-pill guy doing here? 405 00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:23,835 - I'm also an adjunct professor of acting and pretend fighting 406 00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,663 at Santa Monica Community College, 407 00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:27,274 but sure, dude. 408 00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:29,624 - Brett and I are old friends. 409 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:33,976 We hit it off on a commercial for a bathtub you stand up in 410 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,326 and reconnected after my divorce. 411 00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,807 - But, Angelica, you texted me. 412 00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:41,201 - And you didn't text me back. 413 00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:44,334 So I texted the Trivago guy and then Brett. 414 00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:46,902 - Hey, man, "Trivago Guy passed" 415 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,425 are my three favorite words. 416 00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:51,776 - Brett, do you mind if I have a moment alone with Neil? 417 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,213 - [chuckles] 418 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:56,346 - Why didn't you text me back before coming over here? 419 00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:59,523 - I didn't realize you were seeing other people. 420 00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:02,570 - Oh, honey, haven't you ever heard the term "trampage"? 421 00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,528 - Why do people keep calling me "honey"? 422 00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:06,052 And of course not. 423 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,010 - I'm newly single. 424 00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:10,534 And career-wise, I'm having a moment. 425 00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:12,232 I want to meet people. [snapping fingers] 426 00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:14,538 I want to expand my horizons. 427 00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:16,888 A "trampage" is a rite of passage 428 00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:19,282 for a sexy divorcée like me. 429 00:16:19,326 --> 00:16:21,806 - Oh, my God, I just don't get how this works anymore. 430 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:24,766 I mean, did you know about the different color hearts? 431 00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:27,682 - Only because I took a great computer course 432 00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,031 at the Learning Annex. 433 00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:32,861 Turns out you can print from your cell phone! 434 00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,384 - What? 435 00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:38,736 - Listen, I'm sorry if you felt misled. 436 00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:40,477 For what it's worth, 437 00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:44,090 this is also a big disappointment for me. 438 00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:47,702 I really wanted to do some weird stuff with you 439 00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:50,835 that Brett just doesn't have the height for. 440 00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,098 - Thank you. 441 00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:55,231 That actually means a lot. - Okay, bye-bye. 442 00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:58,365 [indistinct chatter] 443 00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,325 - What is this, some kind of fight club? 444 00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:03,935 - If you don't know what this is, 445 00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:05,241 you shouldn't be here, fish. 446 00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,026 - Okay, easy, Gretchen. She's with me. 447 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,592 - Yeah, Gretchen. 448 00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:10,377 I'm digging the "Lord of the Flies" vibe, 449 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:12,683 but what specifically are we doing? 450 00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:15,686 - Everyone here collects a special kind of pottery-- 451 00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:17,079 Rae Dunn ceramics. 452 00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:18,428 It comes out in limited editions. 453 00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:20,256 Five minutes after these doors open, it'll be gone. 454 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:22,171 - Yeah, 'cause I'll have it all. 455 00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:23,781 - Oh, you wish! 456 00:17:23,825 --> 00:17:25,740 You usually get your first taste by accident. 457 00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:27,611 Someone gives you a mug that says "drink." 458 00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,439 Pretty soon you want a plate that says "plate." 459 00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:31,006 Then you discover the desktop accessories, 460 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,486 and then they've got you. 461 00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:34,183 On Tuesday and Friday mornings, 462 00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:35,619 that manager puts out the new stock 463 00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:39,275 and then I fight these Karens to the death for it. 464 00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:40,624 Look, just follow my lead, okay? 465 00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,452 Keep your elbows up and don't be afraid 466 00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:44,759 to snatch out some clip-in weaves! 467 00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,195 Go, go, go! 468 00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:48,937 [all screaming] 469 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:51,722 [sweeping classical music] 470 00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:58,555 ♪ 471 00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:39,335 . 472 00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:43,122 [indistinct chatter, computer beeping] 473 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:46,125 - That was... 474 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,517 satisfying. 475 00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:48,997 - Yeah. 476 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:52,174 - I appreciate you letting me see your secret joy. 477 00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,872 Makes me feel less alone in my weirdness. 478 00:18:54,916 --> 00:18:56,961 - So see you next week? 479 00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:58,659 - Nah. 480 00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:00,791 I can't physically destroy ladies 481 00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:02,489 with sassy haircuts. 482 00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:04,055 Feels like cannibalism. 483 00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:08,843 But I have enjoyed this reasonably priced dance 484 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:11,802 with chaos and his sister, danger. 485 00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:14,065 I just need to find my own dirty hotel room 486 00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:16,546 for our next ménage à trois. 487 00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:18,157 - Cool. Good luck with that. 488 00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:22,030 - Sir, can you explain to me why the city's 489 00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:23,988 Official Mayor's Office Twitter account 490 00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:26,165 has been trolling the Gorgialis account? 491 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,558 - A medication I'm also on but for wake apnea. 492 00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:30,647 - You were right, Mikaela. 493 00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:32,780 Angelica's on a trampage. 494 00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:35,217 - Oh, I love that for her. 495 00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:39,047 - Yeah, she was just using me. And I humiliated myself. 496 00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:41,267 - Well, at least it was with Angelica Masters. 497 00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:44,226 My last date was with an improviser who robbed me. 498 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:46,097 [chuckles] I don't know. I might text him. 499 00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:49,188 - I wasn't excited about her because she's Internet famous. 500 00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:52,365 I was excited because we had so much to talk about. 501 00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:55,498 I didn't have to pretend to know who The Chainsmokers were. 502 00:19:55,542 --> 00:19:56,934 - Well, there's probably 503 00:19:56,978 --> 00:19:58,675 a lot of women that you can do that with. 504 00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:00,024 You just need to find one 505 00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:02,026 who sees you as more than a jump-off. 506 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:04,246 - Huh. Yeah. 507 00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:07,510 Yeah, maybe it took a one-night stand with Angelica Masters 508 00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:10,383 to realize that I really am ready 509 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,559 for a mature relationship. 510 00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:14,256 - When do you want to meet my aunt? 511 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,824 Her name's Patricia, and she is mean. 512 00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:20,001 [happy chatter] 513 00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:21,829 - Arpi, it's getting dark. 514 00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:24,266 - I paid for the hour, Salvatore, and I need this. 515 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:27,313 Keep popcorning, Griffin. 516 00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:30,272 - Are you an older adult who thinks he or she 517 00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:32,927 is in an online relationship with me? 518 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,537 You're probably not. 519 00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:37,105 Hi, I'm Angelica Masters, 520 00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:40,326 and I'm not looking for anything serious right now, 521 00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:43,242 nor do I need your social security number 522 00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:45,896 or any other personal information. 523 00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:49,813 Take it from me, Angelica Masters will never ask 524 00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:52,425 for your email or bank account password, 525 00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:56,342 your bank routing number, the name of your first pet, 526 00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:58,126 pictures of your passport, 527 00:20:58,169 --> 00:21:01,434 or any other personal information. 528 00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:03,610 She is not interested. 529 00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:05,960 And if Angelica Masters asks 530 00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:09,616 for photos of your genitalia... 531 00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:12,488 better send those-- that could be me. 532 00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:14,316 There is nothing is sexier 533 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:17,319 than protecting your personal information 534 00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:19,321 from online scammers. 535 00:21:19,365 --> 00:21:23,238 So keep it sexy, L.A. 536 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,284 - Good night, everybody! - Good night!