1 00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:04,700 . 2 00:00:04,743 --> 00:00:06,136 - We did it! 3 00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:07,703 A year ago, 4 00:00:07,746 --> 00:00:10,923 we said we were gonna tackle L.A's traffic problems. 5 00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:13,491 And today we now have completed 6 00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:16,320 citywide, dedicated bus lanes. 7 00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:17,669 - What do we want? Bus lanes! 8 00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:19,541 When do we want them? We got 'em. 9 00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:22,065 - Now I could rest on my laurels, 10 00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:25,329 but I'm not a rest-on-my-laurels guy. 11 00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:27,636 And I know that like this bus lane 12 00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:30,943 that currently ends in Burbank, we can go further. 13 00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:35,426 California is the innovation capital of the world-- 14 00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,211 the iPhone, Disneyland, 15 00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:39,865 the Ryan Murphy Cinematic Universe. 16 00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:42,303 These are all homegrown ideas. 17 00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:44,435 So I have hand-picked a new team 18 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,655 of California's sharpest minds 19 00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:49,701 to form the Mayor's Office of Innovation. 20 00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:51,921 [cheers and applause] 21 00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:55,055 Housing, jobs, health, tourism-- 22 00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,927 let's get innovative, L.A. 23 00:00:57,970 --> 00:01:00,103 [upbeat music] 24 00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:04,020 Get out of my dreams and onto that bus. 25 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,415 [tires screeching] 26 00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:10,896 Those passengers are gonna be on the beach 27 00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:12,072 in seven minutes. 28 00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,334 - That's too fast! 29 00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:16,554 [bright music] 30 00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:22,778 ♪ 31 00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:26,651 - Have you sussed out these innovation consultants yet? 32 00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:29,132 Some of these guys have necks and chins. 33 00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:31,178 Oh, God. Is that how low my bar is? 34 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,310 - Yes, and none of them have any old tweets 35 00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:35,356 with the words [bleep], [bleep], or [bleep] in them, 36 00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:36,705 which is how low my bar is. 37 00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:38,576 Finally, some Gen Z energy in this place. 38 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:39,969 - For real. 39 00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:41,231 You know how I had to beg Neil to stop setting up 40 00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:42,928 conference calls and use Slack. 41 00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:44,756 He still calls it "Slacks." 42 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,324 And he calls pants "trousers," and what are "dungarees"? 43 00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:48,412 - I mean, after a certain age, 44 00:01:48,456 --> 00:01:49,805 the human brain just can't learn. 45 00:01:49,848 --> 00:01:51,372 No offense, Arpi. - I just can't believe 46 00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:53,417 you're excited that these people are gonna come in 47 00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:55,115 and tell us how to innovate. 48 00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:56,594 We innovate. 49 00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:59,249 This was like bringing in a poop-throwing consultant 50 00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,555 to teach the chimps. 51 00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:02,165 This expert comes in for a month 52 00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,688 and he's gonna be like, 53 00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:05,429 "What if you threw some so it sticks to the glass?" 54 00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,605 Oh, thanks. We never thought of that. 55 00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:09,303 - You know, I was recruited by some consulting firms 56 00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,609 out of law school, but I was like, no. 57 00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:14,134 I want to be a part of American democracy...ending. 58 00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:16,527 - Ah, this guy is wearing an MIT sweatshirt 59 00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:19,269 with the arms cut off and he's pulling it off. 60 00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:21,141 - New best friends! 61 00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,272 - New boyfriend! - New best friends! 62 00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:24,187 - New boyfriend! - New best friends! 63 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:25,275 - New boyfriend! - New best friends! 64 00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:27,886 [soft xylophone music] - Oh! 65 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:30,976 Now this is a presentation. 66 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,891 - Put these on. 67 00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:36,286 ♪ 68 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:38,549 At Impactium Consulting, 69 00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,899 we believe in dreaming bigger, living larger... 70 00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:43,902 - What is that? - And soaring higher. 71 00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:45,774 - [grunting] No! Ah! 72 00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:46,818 He's got me in his beak! 73 00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:50,082 [yelping] 74 00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:53,912 - Welcome, everyone. You can take your headsets off. 75 00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,305 - [laughing] Look at-- 76 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:57,742 oh, that's amazing! 77 00:02:57,786 --> 00:03:00,092 What are you doing, man? Get up off the floor. 78 00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:02,269 - I didn't-- - Hi, I'm James. 79 00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:04,488 And this is the I-Team. 80 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:08,449 - And we're so excited to get started. 81 00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:10,494 - I hope you all enjoyed hang gliding over Los Angeles. 82 00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:13,236 Now did any of you notice Ellen DeGeneres 83 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,933 smiling at the top of Runyon? 84 00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:17,675 That was added digitally-- the smile, I mean. 85 00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:19,503 - My video was a velociraptor. 86 00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:20,983 - You must've pressed the wrong button. 87 00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:23,072 - James, James, what are we gonna start with? 88 00:03:23,115 --> 00:03:25,030 Driverless cars? Tacos that travel? 89 00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:26,423 Come on, let's disrupt. 90 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,903 - Absolutely, Mr. Mayor, 91 00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:30,862 but we've learned that innovation starts from within. 92 00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:33,561 So the first thing we'll do is just spend the day 93 00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:35,911 shadowing the staff, watching how you do things. 94 00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:37,652 - Right 'cause you've been here for an hour, 95 00:03:37,695 --> 00:03:39,262 so you'd know what we're doing wrong. 96 00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:40,263 - Well, you know, we really just want 97 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:41,873 to get a feel for the place. 98 00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:45,573 - Hey, man, would you mind just standing back over there? 99 00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:47,575 For example, I would love to know 100 00:03:47,618 --> 00:03:49,664 who's got you guys using Slack, 101 00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:52,536 'cause that application is garbage. 102 00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:54,625 I mean, we were all just laughing about it earlier. 103 00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:57,498 - Thank you. I hate Slacks. 104 00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,413 - Could we watch the video again, 105 00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:01,893 so I can see the nice one as a palate cleanser? 106 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:04,418 - Would that be the best use of your time? 107 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,725 - Yes. 108 00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:10,554 - They're gonna evaluate us? - I warned you. 109 00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:13,165 These guys are just greasy corporate vampires. 110 00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:14,297 - Which in a book would be sexy. 111 00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:15,907 - I for one will not be participating 112 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,605 in this brain suckery. 113 00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:19,171 - And why wouldn't they let me stand with them? 114 00:04:19,215 --> 00:04:20,825 Who do they think they are? My college a cappella group? 115 00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:22,784 - You folks ready to get started? 116 00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:25,090 Ms. Meskimen, this is Noah. He'll be shadowing you. 117 00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,310 - Okay. 118 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,920 Let's go, Jokeshow. 119 00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:31,836 [upbeat music] 120 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,709 - My body's teeming with creative juices. 121 00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,363 What are we gonna do today, James? 122 00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:38,103 - We are gonna move fast and break things, sir. 123 00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:39,975 - Ha! I like that. 124 00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:41,455 Yeah, that's catchy. 125 00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:43,718 I'm gonna text that to myself before I forget it. 126 00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,285 - Now we've got some special things 127 00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:46,634 set up for you, Mr. Mayor, 128 00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:48,766 we are going to evaluate your leadership style 129 00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,769 by having you virtually sail a yacht around Tierra del Fuego. 130 00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:53,118 - Hot damn. 131 00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:54,946 - And then in the afternoon, we're gonna set up 132 00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:57,558 one of those military glass tables that shows a map of L.A. 133 00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:59,386 - And will that be interactive? 134 00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:00,561 - You will get to draw on it. Yes. 135 00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:03,564 - So cool. I call green. 136 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:07,089 Oh, hey. James--wait a minute. 137 00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:10,005 Is this my daughter or one of your holograms? 138 00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,746 [chuckles] - Dad, ow. 139 00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:13,400 - I'm sorry. 140 00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:15,445 - Are you ready? We're kind of already late. 141 00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:16,490 - For what, honey? 142 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,535 - You're taking me to the DMV today 143 00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:19,493 for my permit test. 144 00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:21,059 - Is that today? 145 00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:23,627 - Dad, I literally reminded you about it this morning. 146 00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:25,325 - Can't you do it on your phone or something? 147 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,804 - No, you have to go in person. 148 00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:28,806 - All right, I see there's a government office 149 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,634 that could use some innovating, am I right? 150 00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,593 - Oh, I wouldn't know, sir. I hoverboard everywhere. 151 00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:35,422 - [laughs] Of course you do. 152 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:36,727 Does this absolutely have to be done today? 153 00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,686 - I made this appointment months ago. 154 00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:42,385 And their website is black text on a blue screen, okay? 155 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:43,778 I can't go through that again. 156 00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:45,127 - I have people-- - Don't bail on me. 157 00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:47,608 I went with you to your emergency colonoscopy 158 00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:49,000 after you slipped on the Peloton. 159 00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:52,526 - Hey, you know, James doesn't need to know that. 160 00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:57,008 Oh, shoot. Sorry about this, James. 161 00:05:57,052 --> 00:06:00,272 I, um-- I will be back ASAP Rocky. 162 00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:01,622 - Dad, that is a person. 163 00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:04,320 - I know that. I was trying something out. 164 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,930 - How would you describe your job? 165 00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:08,368 - I wouldn't, Noah. I'm too busy doing it. 166 00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:10,021 Now try to keep up with me. 167 00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:11,980 'Cause if there's one thing you need to know about me 168 00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,982 and how I operate, it's-- 169 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,248 - Ms. Meskimen? 170 00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:21,119 There's no door back here. 171 00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:22,773 ♪ 172 00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:25,689 - Okay, so low beams in fog. 173 00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:28,213 - Oh, jeez. Where did you come from? 174 00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:30,607 - A vent. I'm like a mouse. 175 00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:33,654 If my skull fits, the rest of my body fits. 176 00:06:33,697 --> 00:06:35,220 Are you evading your observer too? 177 00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:36,439 - No, no. 178 00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:39,137 I'm taking Orly to the DMV. - Huh. 179 00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:41,618 Dad, it says here you can't drive on the beach 180 00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:43,751 just because you're late for golf. 181 00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,579 - Well, they've changed that then. 182 00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:47,407 You know, it wouldn't kill you, Arpi, 183 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:48,930 to engage with that I-Team kid. 184 00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:50,584 It's costing us a lot of money. 185 00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:53,282 - That argument didn't get me to try lobster mac and cheese. 186 00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:54,501 It's not gonna work here. 187 00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:55,719 - What floor are you getting off on? 188 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:58,113 - I think I'll tag along with you. 189 00:06:58,156 --> 00:07:01,551 You'll never find me, Noah! 190 00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,466 - Hey, do you mind if I observe you? 191 00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,903 - That works for me, since as chief of staff, 192 00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:07,862 I technically need to be observing you 193 00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:09,472 because your work is my purview. 194 00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:11,822 So yes, this is convenient for me. 195 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:13,737 I would like you to sit, please. 196 00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:14,999 - Yeah, just pretend I'm not here. 197 00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:16,871 - Okay, and you pretend like I'm not here. 198 00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:18,568 I have a lot of work to do, you know, 199 00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,483 running America's largest city. 200 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:22,137 - New York is America's largest city. 201 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,139 - Not if I do my job right. 202 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:26,097 - Okay. 203 00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:29,274 Is that a puffy Pusheen cat sticker on a government laptop? 204 00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:31,494 - I feel like you should be able to use context clues 205 00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:32,669 to answer that yourself. 206 00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:34,541 Next you'll be asking me, 207 00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:35,933 "Is she sitting on a hamburger?" 208 00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,021 Yes, James. 209 00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:38,240 Pusheen is sitting on a hamburger. 210 00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,285 [chuckles] I'm a busy professional, okay? 211 00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:42,636 I don't have time to spoon-feed you these answers. 212 00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,378 - [snickers] 213 00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:50,165 I'm not used to people watching me while I work. 214 00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,558 Oh. 215 00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:53,298 [high-pitched voice] Crumbs in the keyboard? 216 00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:56,258 Nodda so good. [giggles] 217 00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:59,870 Wow, that was actually a really cool new voice, Jayden. 218 00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:03,221 Okay, that's just making the crumbs go in. 219 00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:09,401 [inhaling sharply] 220 00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:11,665 Mouth vacuum is working. 221 00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,580 [inhales sharply] 222 00:08:14,406 --> 00:08:15,973 Innovation. 223 00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,322 Wink. 224 00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:19,411 - Yeah, I thought about going into consulting, 225 00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:21,065 but ultimately went another way. 226 00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:23,328 God bless the broken road, you know? 227 00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:24,416 Rascal Flatts. 228 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:25,592 - What is your exact title? 229 00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:28,159 - Oh, I am the mayor's chief strategist. 230 00:08:28,203 --> 00:08:30,727 Before this, I was doing social media for the RNC. 231 00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:32,337 I was the one who got them on Pinterest. 232 00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:34,905 Before that, I worked to put myself through Georgetown 233 00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:37,517 while maintaining a 3.8 "virginity." 234 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:40,215 - Next. [soft indistinct chatter] 235 00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:43,000 - Ugh, this is taking forever. - Yeah, tell me about it. 236 00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:45,394 I'm missing my first lunch with the I-Team. 237 00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:47,875 They were gonna make a toast with a bottle of champagne 238 00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,920 that went up to space and back. 239 00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:51,269 - Why? 240 00:08:51,313 --> 00:08:53,576 - Oh, that's it. Yeah. I'm gonna find a manager. 241 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,187 - Sir, I know you're not going to cut the line. 242 00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:57,493 - Arpi, I'm the mayor. 243 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,800 My time needs to be used efficiently, right? 244 00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:03,499 - So you're saying you're more important than this man? 245 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,283 What do you do, sir? 246 00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:06,502 - I do lighting for pornos. 247 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:07,851 - Thank you for your service. 248 00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:10,637 - Arpi, I am sure that my fellow Angelenos 249 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,987 want to see their mayor get back to work, right? 250 00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:14,858 - Boo! - Absolutely not! 251 00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:16,773 - Okay, all right. Relax. - Oh, my God, Dad. Stop. 252 00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:18,209 - Get back in the line, Slenderman! 253 00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:19,776 - Okay, okay. 254 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,735 - Hey, and when is your administration gonna do 255 00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:24,564 something about non-union hidden toilet cams? 256 00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:26,043 That's taking money out of my pocket. 257 00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:28,611 . 258 00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,613 [mellow quirky music] 259 00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,833 - God, this guy in the front is taking forever. 260 00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:35,444 Why is everything in my life always so hard? 261 00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:39,491 - Okay, BTS performed at your birthday, but yeah, sure. 262 00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:41,319 - Next. - Yes, it's my turn. 263 00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:42,277 - Go get 'em. - Oh, thank God. 264 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,321 - We'll be right here. 265 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:45,672 - Knock 'em dead, sweetheart. 266 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,245 Is there something you need from me, Arpi? 267 00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:55,682 - I need you to explain to me 268 00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:57,379 why you think our administration 269 00:09:57,422 --> 00:10:00,382 needs outside help from a bunch of Boss Babies. 270 00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:02,384 - Because if there's anything I've learned 271 00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:03,777 after a year in government, 272 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,170 it's that we should do everything differently. 273 00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:09,086 - Hey, man, I'm your most progressive progressive. 274 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,698 America Ferrera told me to settle down 275 00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:12,916 at the Women's March. 276 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,048 - Give me a break. 277 00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:15,832 - What does that mean? Give me a break? 278 00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,355 - You say you're progressive, 279 00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:19,880 but what do you do every time I have a cool idea? 280 00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:21,577 "We tried that in '86, sir." 281 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,666 "They're not fiscally sound, sir." 282 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:26,321 "How about instead of sushi drones, 283 00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:29,367 you know, we get pregnant women healthcare?" 284 00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:32,327 You are as rigid as any Republican 285 00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,633 I have ever yachted with. 286 00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:36,548 - How dare you use yacht as a verb. 287 00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:38,899 - Do you think that I'm actually proud 288 00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:40,596 of that stupid bus lane? 289 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,685 You think I want that as my legacy? 290 00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:45,906 I'm 73 years old, Arpi. I don't have time to waste. 291 00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:47,734 - Then let me help you. 292 00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:49,518 I've been doing this for 30 years. 293 00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,563 You think these guys can figure it out in a month? 294 00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,696 You see, let those kids go, 295 00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,219 and you, me, 296 00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:58,005 City Council President Kawachi, and Comptroller Pedrad 297 00:10:58,048 --> 00:11:01,704 sit down and have a long, less than $8 per person lunch 298 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:05,012 where we explain to you again how a bill becomes a law. 299 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:07,928 - Arpi, move fast and break things. 300 00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:09,538 That's how we're doing it now. 301 00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:10,670 - No. 302 00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,454 No, no, no! This cannot be happening. 303 00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,282 - What? - I failed my test. 304 00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:16,110 - But you were so well-prepared. 305 00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:17,372 - It's so unfair. 306 00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:18,634 I mean, the question was true or false, 307 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,375 you should pump your brakes in an ice storm, 308 00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:23,160 but the manual says you do pump for regular, 309 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,336 but you don't pump for antilock brakes, 310 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,295 which means it's true and false. 311 00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:28,862 - Well, how about that? Yeah. 312 00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:31,995 Yeah, the test doesn't line up with the manual, Arpi. 313 00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:34,389 - Yeah, and I can't retake it for seven days. 314 00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:36,826 - Of course you can't. Hey, way to go, government. 315 00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:39,873 Yeah, nice use of all of our time. 316 00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:42,049 Am I right? Yeah. 317 00:11:42,092 --> 00:11:45,269 Yeah, instead of being able to onboard our new coworkers, 318 00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:46,749 we all got to sit around 319 00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:49,143 and watch that guy eat yogurt with only his tongue. 320 00:11:49,186 --> 00:11:50,971 - I'm not sure about spoons. 321 00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,581 The science isn't there yet. 322 00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,061 - Perfect! 323 00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:57,107 I hope we all flashback to this day on our deathbed. 324 00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,674 - How many miles of dental floss 325 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,545 do you think Americans use in a year? 326 00:12:00,589 --> 00:12:02,417 - [chuckles] Okay. 327 00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:03,853 This is one of those consultant questions 328 00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:06,508 that you ask to see my thought process. 329 00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:08,989 Love this. Thank you for the opportunity. 330 00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:11,165 Let's find out. 331 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,993 328 million Americans, 332 00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:15,560 and not counting babies, the elderly, methheads, 333 00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,693 and celebrities who haven't had their veneers attached yet 334 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,695 so they still just have those weird little vampire nubs. 335 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,176 About 40% of us have contiguous teeth. 336 00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:25,048 That's 131 million mouths. 337 00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:27,442 Each container of floss holds 12 to 18 yards. 338 00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:28,922 You know I could have been you, right? 339 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:31,838 You're not better than me. [softly] Take me with you. 340 00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:34,188 - Look, I know this process is annoying, 341 00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,493 and obviously you're gonna be fine. 342 00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:37,931 - Oh, I know. But also what does that mean? 343 00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,368 - Well, part of what we do when we start at a new place 344 00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:41,935 is we look for dead weight. 345 00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:43,545 - You fire people? 346 00:12:43,588 --> 00:12:46,113 - We make recommendations to, usually. 347 00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:48,202 You know, it makes the remaining staff feel chosen, 348 00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,420 but also a little off-balance 349 00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:51,118 in a way that increases productivity. 350 00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:53,033 - [scoffs] That's disgusting. 351 00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:56,993 - Yeah, but you have nothing to worry about. 352 00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,299 If anyone should be nervous, 353 00:12:58,342 --> 00:12:59,866 it's the guy who failed the welcome video. 354 00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:01,084 - [distorted voice] Beep, boop, beep. 355 00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:04,566 I am a government-powered robot. 356 00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:07,569 Oh, no, my beard is stuck. 357 00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:09,745 Please help the robot. 358 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:10,964 - Of course they want to fire Jayden. 359 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:13,009 I mean, we wanted to fire Jayden until he-- 360 00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:14,619 wait, what made us not want to fire him? 361 00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:16,186 - I think he Mrs. Doubtfire-d us. 362 00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,361 I can't remember. 363 00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:18,928 It doesn't matter. I run this place. 364 00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,190 - We do. We totally do. 365 00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:22,410 - And these B-school Scott Disicks, 366 00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:23,585 they don't get to just come in here 367 00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:25,587 and tell us how to do our jobs. 368 00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,545 - Hey, how's it going, buddy? 369 00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:30,940 Those consultant guys can be a little scary, right? 370 00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,681 - No. I'm not scared of them at all. 371 00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:34,248 In fact, I think Milo and I 372 00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:37,251 are gonna be friends with benefits 373 00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:39,079 'cause his complex has a pool. 374 00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:40,428 - Okay, well, 375 00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,778 something that I'm doing to make friends with them 376 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,606 is I tell them every important thing 377 00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:45,868 that I do around the office. 378 00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,870 Sometimes I even stretch the truth a little bit 379 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,654 to make myself sound more important. 380 00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:52,657 - Is that why you always do that? 381 00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:56,574 - Uh, Jayden, how many miles of dental floss 382 00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:57,837 do you think that Americans use in a year? 383 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,621 - Eight. - Don't blurt it out so fast! 384 00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,797 Just think for a hot sec. 385 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,104 And maybe don't have a blue tongue this afternoon. 386 00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:07,890 It just might be too cool for a work meeting. 387 00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:09,805 - No, it's always better to be yourself. 388 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,459 It's like earlier when I couldn't get the printer 389 00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:13,504 to work, I let Milo see me cry 390 00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:16,856 because my emotions are most of who I am. 391 00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:21,730 - He'll find a new job, right? Maybe Disneyland needs a LeFou. 392 00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,297 - No, we have to help him. 393 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,299 - No, it's the velociraptors again! 394 00:14:25,342 --> 00:14:26,474 Oh, no-- 395 00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:27,823 oh, I stepped on one of their eggs! 396 00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:29,477 . 397 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,305 - So there's nothing you can do as mayor 398 00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:32,915 to get me another test? 399 00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,264 I told everyone I could do the driving shots for the movie 400 00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,049 we're making in Spanish class. 401 00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:38,747 It's a modern "Don Quixote" where horses are cars. 402 00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:41,141 - Honey, the DMV is run by the state, 403 00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:43,447 or believe me, I would have my new guys all over it. 404 00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,928 - [high-pitched] "My new guys. I love them so much!" 405 00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,451 That's a cool new voice, Arpi. 406 00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:50,933 - I seriously can't retake the test for seven days? 407 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,892 Why? - Who knows? 408 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,458 You know, there's probably some archaic rule 409 00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:57,287 from when children had to stay home and help on the farm. 410 00:14:57,331 --> 00:14:59,550 - Actually, its origins are in voter suppression, 411 00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:02,945 but I know there's a complainulate.org petition 412 00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,338 to change it. 413 00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:05,948 - Oh, honey, just please let Dan take you home. 414 00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:07,471 I gotta get back in there. 415 00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:09,647 The guys are gonna show me how to make a soap dish 416 00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,127 with a 3D printer. 417 00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:12,824 - Anyone can make a soap dish. 418 00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,522 All you need is a Leatherman Rebar 419 00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:15,653 and a chunk of olive wood. 420 00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,655 - What's your point? 421 00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:22,051 - Anything the I-Team can do, I can do better. 422 00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:23,705 - Well then, do it, Arpi. 423 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:26,142 I'm so glad these kids have lit a fire under you. 424 00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:29,624 I can't wait to see all your sparkling achievements. 425 00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:35,630 - You wanna move fast and break some things? 426 00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:36,892 - I'm Jayden Kwapis. 427 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,328 I'm the mayor's director of communications 428 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,156 or "comms director," if you nasty. 429 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,724 - Oof, that's his second Janet Jackson reference. 430 00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,204 - Third. You were on the phone 431 00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:45,683 when he tried to do the "Rhythm Nation" countdown 432 00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:47,990 and accidentally gave the bird. 433 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:49,600 - Oh, no. I can't let this happen. 434 00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:53,213 Okay, Operation "Jayden Rescue" is a go. 435 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,997 - Oh, no. Mikaela choked on her Midol. 436 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,738 Jayden, you're the office Safety Marshal. 437 00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:59,088 Save her. - Oh, okay, the Heimlich. 438 00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:00,655 No, I am not allowed to touch her. 439 00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:03,005 She made that very clear. 440 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,180 Stop staring! 441 00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:07,575 Do something, Leslie! Please! 442 00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:09,664 - [stammering] I got it. 443 00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:11,231 - Oh! Oh, okay, I'm-- 444 00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:12,449 Okay, I'm good. I swallowed it. 445 00:16:12,493 --> 00:16:14,060 - Okay, we did it. 446 00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:15,452 Teamwork makes the dream work. 447 00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:16,627 Broom-five! 448 00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,064 - Okay, uh, James, 449 00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,892 I need to see you in my office right now. 450 00:16:20,936 --> 00:16:22,894 - I don't normally hit women. 451 00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:24,853 - Okay. 452 00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:26,028 You can go ahead and tell the mayor 453 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:27,290 that we should fire Jayden, 454 00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,379 but I'm not gonna let that happen. 455 00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:32,078 - Fine, you can keep Jayden, but are you also gonna fight me 456 00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:34,210 on the dude with a sugar glider in his desk? 457 00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:36,908 - If you mean Leslie and Deputy Zoomer, 458 00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:38,562 it's a service sugar glider. 459 00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:40,825 Because it's the only thing keeping him from killing us. 460 00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,741 So yeah, I'm gonna fight you on all your proposals. 461 00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:45,874 - Okay, well, we can't really affect change 462 00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:48,181 in a place that refuses to change. 463 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:50,226 So what do you suggest we do here? 464 00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:51,445 - I don't know, James. 465 00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:53,751 Maybe do like my last Bumble date. 466 00:16:53,795 --> 00:16:56,667 I go to the bathroom. You leave while I'm in there. 467 00:16:56,711 --> 00:17:00,280 ♪ 468 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:04,240 - You know I was the first guy in Bel Air to have Wi-Fi. 469 00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:07,113 You'd get a disc from AOL, 470 00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:09,550 and then if somebody else wanted to use the phone, 471 00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:11,117 they could not. 472 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,684 - Arpi got me my permit. 473 00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:15,382 - I'm sorry. She what? 474 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,253 - I took your request to heart, sir. 475 00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:19,081 We gotta start getting things done around here-- 476 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,605 not let the bureaucracy stop us. 477 00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:23,216 So I found a loophole. 478 00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:26,219 You cannot take the same permit test twice in one day, 479 00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:29,004 but you can test for another class of license. 480 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,440 - At 16? 481 00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:33,443 - There's an age waiver for agricultural families, 482 00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:34,749 and technically your Bel Air yard 483 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:37,186 is large enough to be considered a sod farm. 484 00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:38,927 - I got a class A permit. 485 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,450 Now I can drive a tractor trailer. 486 00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,974 - Move fast and break things, literally. 487 00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,541 - Should I get an ice cream truck? 488 00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:45,673 I love that for me! 489 00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:47,718 - Why don't we talk about that at home? 490 00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:51,113 Arpi, a word, please. 491 00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:53,637 If this is you showing off, it backfired. 492 00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,987 - Your boys could never have done what I just did. 493 00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:57,293 They don't know the laws, 494 00:17:57,337 --> 00:17:59,208 the region's agricultural history, 495 00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:01,950 or even the vents we took to get there. 496 00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:03,778 - This is still about the I-Team. 497 00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:07,521 - "Move fast and break things" is a dumb T-shirt philosophy. 498 00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:10,176 Experience and caution have value. 499 00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:13,004 - Give them a minute to show what they can do. 500 00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:14,310 Oh, come on, Arpi. 501 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:16,617 I bet you they're working on some stuff 502 00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:18,271 you're gonna love. 503 00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:21,709 - Um, sir, uh, the I-Team quit. 504 00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:23,189 - I do love it. 505 00:18:23,232 --> 00:18:25,365 ♪ 506 00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:27,018 . 507 00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:29,412 - Sir, I just felt as chief of staff 508 00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:30,457 that we did not need their services like zoo chimps-- 509 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:31,936 - Absolutely not. 510 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,851 I already announced it to the L.A. press. 511 00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,984 Do you have any idea how savagely 512 00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:38,508 "Americana at Brand Memes" will come for me? 513 00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:39,814 - Oh. 514 00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:41,816 - Get them back. - Yeah, okay. 515 00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,820 - Dad, I'm in a multiple bidder situation 516 00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:47,169 on a repossessed horse van. 517 00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:48,214 What's our best offer? 518 00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:51,217 - Zero $0. - What? Why? 519 00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:52,653 - Because you can't do this. 520 00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:54,655 Just because you found a quick fix 521 00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:57,310 doesn't mean it's the right fix. 522 00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:58,746 Oh. 523 00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:00,226 Is Arpi smiling right now? 524 00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:01,705 - I think so. 525 00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:04,404 It's like a drunk Grinch trying to look sober. 526 00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:05,622 - All right, don't look at her. 527 00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:07,102 And hand over that permit, please. 528 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,234 - What? 529 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:09,452 But I just watched a long video about 530 00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:11,193 how to empty the toilet of a Winnebago. 531 00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:12,934 - And someday you will. Hand it over. 532 00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:14,892 - Fine, but I'm still signing up 533 00:19:14,936 --> 00:19:16,546 to be an organ donor. 534 00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:19,245 - Whatever. 535 00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:20,637 Goodbye, Arpi. 536 00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:22,987 - Already in the vent, sir. 537 00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:26,643 - [clears throat] 538 00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,515 So one thing that you'll learn about this office 539 00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:30,038 is we really love pranks, 540 00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:32,519 and that thing before where I told you to leave? 541 00:19:32,562 --> 00:19:34,216 [laughs] Ya burnt. 542 00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:36,914 - You told the mayor I quit and you got in trouble? 543 00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:38,916 - Yeah, 100%. He's, like, in love with you. 544 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,441 - I mean, can you blame him? 545 00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:45,445 - Look, we're not notopen to change, but it's day one. 546 00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:46,968 You're not firing Jayden. 547 00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:48,448 - Okay, I asked him where he sees himself in five years, 548 00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:51,320 and he said, "In a mirror, unless I've become a vampire." 549 00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:54,105 - Okay, but not everything that matters can be measured, 550 00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:56,847 and not everything that can be measured matters. 551 00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:58,719 - Okay, that sounded like consultant nonsense, 552 00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:02,897 so obviously I agree, and I guess I can stay 553 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,726 because by defending your weakest team member, 554 00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:08,729 you have passed the manager test. 555 00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,252 Yeah. - [snickers] 556 00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:12,254 Okay, you're making that up. [laughs] 557 00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:15,344 - Am I? Guess we'll never know. 558 00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:19,348 - Can you believe that eight hours ago, 559 00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:21,481 we were excited about the I-Team being here? 560 00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:24,353 - No, those guys are the worst. 561 00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:25,963 [chuckles] 562 00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,489 - Hey, Jayden, you seen my daughter? 563 00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:30,881 - Yes. She's beautiful, sir. 564 00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:32,622 - What? No, no. 565 00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:34,102 I meant--never mind. 566 00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:35,669 Oh, there you go. 567 00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:37,627 - Okay, so I've decided to forgive you 568 00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:39,847 if we can get Matsuhisa tonight. 569 00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:41,283 Also don't get mad at me, 570 00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,720 but our $0 bid won that horse van. 571 00:20:43,764 --> 00:20:45,331 - Ugh, fine. 572 00:20:45,374 --> 00:20:48,508 But you can only drive it up and down our driveway. 573 00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:51,641 [elevator dings] Oh, hey. 574 00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:54,862 Arpi, thought a lot about what you said. 575 00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:56,516 I want you to know you were right. 576 00:20:56,559 --> 00:21:01,129 - I always am. Conciliatory egg? 577 00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:03,131 - Yeah, why not? 578 00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:05,307 There's no way the I-Team could learn 579 00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:09,137 everything you know in six weeks, 580 00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:11,661 which is why I extended their contract to a year. 581 00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:13,141 - [coughs] 582 00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:15,622 - Look forward to seeing what you guys do together. 583 00:21:15,665 --> 00:21:20,366 ♪ 584 00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:23,238 Got a little egg on your face. 585 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,284 - Good night, everybody! - Good night!