1 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,143 Hey! 2 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:22,563 Um... 3 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:25,358 Okay, so I know not showing up last night was wrong. 4 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:26,943 Very, super wrong. 5 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:28,360 And bad. 6 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:31,072 And I feel bad for the bad 7 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:32,907 - and the wrong. - Uh-huh. 8 00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:36,870 I had no idea how complicated planning a scavenger hunt could be. 9 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,205 And then April wanted the clues to rhyme 10 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:42,417 and the playlist for the lock-in was truly a struggle. 11 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:45,086 I mean, I know that "Don't Stop Believin'" is a classic, 12 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:48,923 but it's about a girl taking a train at midnight going anywhere. 13 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:51,092 Is that the kind of behavior we want to promote? 14 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:52,469 I mean, there is such a thing... 15 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:53,636 Hey! 16 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:54,763 You never came. 17 00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:56,532 You knew I had a date with Miles. 18 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,849 Shoot. Did you miss your date? 19 00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,477 We're broken up, Sterling. 20 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,064 I ran back and forth like a duck in a shooting game. 21 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,149 And guess what? I got shot. 22 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,399 Head clean off. 23 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,069 Oh, Blair... 24 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,696 And as if the night wasn't enough of a living nightmare, 25 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,532 I come home and I see this. 26 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,219 - [GASPS] What the... - You told me to slap you 27 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,161 if you kept going on about Mom, 28 00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:20,097 but I'm not prepared to get physical because I'm feeling wrong and bad. 29 00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,957 Sterling... she is lying. 30 00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,041 This is symbolic. 31 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:27,003 - Ow! - I'm following orders, okay? Your orders. 32 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:27,962 And I don't want to, 33 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:30,131 but I will soap-opera slap you if I need to. 34 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:31,358 Your obsessed! It's unhealthy! 35 00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:32,550 I'll show you unhealthy! 36 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,094 [BOTH SCREAM AND GROAN] 37 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,177 Get off my hair! 38 00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:38,014 Ouch! Sterling, get off of me! You never win these fights. 39 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,475 [BOTH SCREAM AND GROAN] 40 00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:41,726 You know how this ends! 41 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:42,685 - Blair! - Give me your arm! 42 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,580 - Blair, I'm kicking your butt! - Give me your arm! 43 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:45,998 - There it is! - Give me your other arm! 44 00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:47,398 Look at this! 45 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:50,693 - No! - This is Mom in Savannah 46 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,028 when she was a teenager. 47 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,780 I'm closing my eyes! I can't see! 48 00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:55,615 Don't make me pry your eyelids open 49 00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,242 because you know that I will do it. 50 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,080 - You see that sign? Hobo's Ham? - [GROANS] 51 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:03,498 Not a good name for a restaurant. 52 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,583 It's like you're eating a homeless person's pork. 53 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,770 Pork that he probably had to fight off other hobos to get, 54 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:08,794 the way seagulls do. 55 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,088 Well, they never franchised 56 00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:11,965 because there's only one in the state 57 00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,842 and it's in a town called... 58 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,261 Nandina. 59 00:02:17,762 --> 00:02:20,974 [GROANS] Blair. I'm losing feeling in my hands. 60 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:24,227 If I let you up, will you promise to listen to me and not slap me? 61 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,896 I mean, considering you ruined my entire life, 62 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,260 I think you need to hear me out. 63 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:29,858 - Fine, yes. I swear! - [GRUNTS] 64 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,320 Okay. Listen. 65 00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:36,364 I looked through all the photo albums 66 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:39,075 and there is not one picture of Mom before college 67 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,994 except from that box that she gave us. 68 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:44,247 So then I Googled, "Debbie Culpepper, Georgia." 69 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:47,000 Oh, look, there's Mom's old manifesto for the PTA coup. 70 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,751 "Why Wallis Williams is unfit to lead." 71 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,421 - Mom was Miss Teen Georgia Peach, right? - Mm. 72 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:52,964 There's nothing about that here. 73 00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:56,384 It's like everything that happened before 1999 in her life 74 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,052 has been completely scrubbed. 75 00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,738 Maybe it was that Y2K thing we learned about 76 00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:00,597 where old people freaked 77 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,974 because they thought computers were going to eat them. 78 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,268 I know I'm right, 79 00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,687 - and after school I'm going to Grandina... - Nandina. 80 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:08,770 Shut up! 81 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,525 I'm going there, so find your own ride home after school. 82 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:14,860 What if I go with you? 83 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,031 - How would I know you'd show up? - We could go right now. 84 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:19,574 Like, now now? 85 00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:22,493 Yeah, like, skip school and hit the road. 86 00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:25,038 Miss Perfect is suggesting we skip school. 87 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,653 Well, if you want to go, then I want to be there for you. 88 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:32,170 Fine, but I'm driving... 89 00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:35,965 - and I'm still mad at you. - Noted. 90 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,760 [THEME MUSIC] 91 00:03:38,843 --> 00:03:41,137 [VOCALIZING] 92 00:03:57,695 --> 00:04:00,007 - I'm not gonna be at school today. - [APRIL] Are you sick? 93 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:00,907 Tell me your symptoms. 94 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:02,700 I carry Oscillococcinum and Zinc in my bag, 95 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,511 but do I need to Postmate some antihistamines? 96 00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:05,620 I can't get sick. 97 00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:07,163 I'm not sick. I'm skipping. 98 00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:10,375 But only slackers headed for City College skip. 99 00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:11,458 What's going on? 100 00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,586 Did you tell Blair about us? Did she flip out? 101 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,522 Are you on a Greyhound heading west to start a new life? 102 00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:16,756 I haven't told her yet. 103 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,675 I want to take the day with her, 104 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,176 give her the space to absorb it. 105 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:24,264 Miles broke up with her and she's going through some stuff. 106 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:25,973 Miles? 107 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,643 You know Miles. He parks cars at the club. 108 00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:29,560 You've seen him. 109 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:30,979 Oh, right, the tall black guy? 110 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,313 - Don't say that. - Why not? 111 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,774 He's tall and he's black. 112 00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:36,669 Ezequiel calls you "the white girl with the eyes." 113 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:37,986 [approaching footsteps. 114 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,280 Will you wipe and move it out already? 115 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:44,992 I'll call you later. 116 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,452 I miss your lips. 117 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,121 I miss your lips. 118 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:49,747 I miss your hair. 119 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:51,207 I miss your smell. 120 00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,338 [APRIL KISSES OVER PHONE] 121 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:02,343 Oh, hey. 122 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,511 [DISCONNECT TONE] 123 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:05,221 [BLOWS THROUGH LIPS] 124 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,261 What are you two doing here? 125 00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:11,102 I didn't blow my helper whistle. 126 00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:12,185 Who was that? 127 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:14,813 My... 128 00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:16,065 perfumier. 129 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,252 - [EZEQUIEL] Hm. - We're working on a new scent blend. 130 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:21,112 He's French, so we kiss goodbye. 131 00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:22,196 [ALL CHUCKLE] 132 00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:26,242 So... what's the scent? 133 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,327 We're working on it. 134 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,245 There are notes of.. 135 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:31,496 Hickory. 136 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:32,914 [EZEQUIEL] Hmm. 137 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,251 What happened last night? 138 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,463 You were supposed to come to my house for dinner. 139 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,423 Here. I brought you your lamb chops. 140 00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:46,553 Something came up. 141 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,343 Do you think "Don't Stop Believin'" is inappropriate? 142 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:52,226 Let me guess, Sterling Wesley has boring taste in music. 143 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,561 Surprise, surprise. 144 00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:55,605 She's more eclectic than you think. 145 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,357 Oh. Is she? 146 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,193 Look, crafting a playlist is difficult. Okay? 147 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,396 Now, did you two make the list for the Costco run yet? 148 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:03,738 Because a lock-in without snacks 149 00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:05,323 is basically solitary confinement, 150 00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:06,949 but with lots of other people, 151 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,451 so... worse. 152 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,745 My point is, make the list. Okay? 153 00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:11,996 And include breath mints. 154 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,750 It's a long night. I gotta go. 155 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,801 [BOTTLE CLATTERS] 156 00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:35,812 Do we want a taser? 157 00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:38,022 Why not? Throw it in. 158 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,357 I'm not seeing handcuffs. 159 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,650 Check in the desk. 160 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:47,323 You find some? 161 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,492 No, but I found something else. Come here. 162 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,620 Oh. 163 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,583 [SCOFFS] That does not look like a comfortable position to sleep in. 164 00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,561 - [STERLING] He'll be achey. - He should stretch. 165 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:00,962 I don't think Bowser stretches. 166 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,314 He has the posture of a fishhook. 167 00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:03,565 We could show him some stretches. 168 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:06,217 Like the warm-up we learned when we had Zumba for PE? 169 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,012 Left arm reach, right arm reach, 170 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,306 Swirl your hips like you're on the beach... 171 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,784 - [BOWSER] Okay. - Left arm reach... 172 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,768 So, this is how I die? 173 00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:19,897 Laying on the floor while two white ladies Zumba over me. 174 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,483 Stop, please stop. Please stop! Stop. 175 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,568 We woke him up. 176 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,235 - Good morning! - Hi! 177 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,571 Why are y'all here? 178 00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:28,114 Why are you here, huh? 179 00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:29,490 This is my damn office. 180 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,617 I can be here any damn time I please. 181 00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,109 - Well, damn. - [BOWSER GROANS] 182 00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:34,821 Shouldn't y'all be at school? 183 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:40,501 Yes, we are doing a self-defense demonstration for PE 184 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:42,837 and, uh, it's graded and everything, 185 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,214 and Sterling forgot to prepare 186 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,925 because she's been forgetting a lot of important things lately, 187 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,303 for which there are really no excuses, 188 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:53,347 and often, very serious consequences. 189 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:56,893 For which she is genuinely and sincerely very sorry. 190 00:07:56,976 --> 00:08:00,229 So, we need to borrow some self-defense demonstration things. 191 00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:02,482 [BOWSER] Have at it. 192 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,734 Bowser? 193 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,445 Mm-hm. 194 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:10,948 Why do you smell like a gas station that sells wine? 195 00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:14,160 [GRUNTS] Because I bought wine at a gas station! 196 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,786 After I left Yolanda's house. 197 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,164 After I found her there with Terrance. 198 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,210 After I thought, "Do I have feelings for Yolanda?" 199 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:26,380 After I went there to tell her I had news about the Fren-Z case 200 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,716 and maybe ask her out for some soft tacos. 201 00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:31,427 After I told her I wasn't working with her anymore, 202 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,345 and I quit. 203 00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:33,846 - No. Uh-uh. - No, yeah. 204 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,557 You have got to go and get that case back. 205 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:37,558 No... 206 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,727 I lost the only man I'll ever love for that case. 207 00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:40,811 Yeah, okay? 208 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,939 You have to go back and fight for Yolanda. 209 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,066 Offer her hard tacos. 210 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:50,029 And yes, Terrance may be a very charming, good-looking man 211 00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:53,366 with a gorgeous smile and a twinkle in his eye, 212 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,452 but... but you are Bowser! 213 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,454 Women don't really care about that other stuff! 214 00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,914 Oh, women hate that stuff, huh? 215 00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,999 Yeah, believe me. I know what women like. 216 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,125 You don't know anything. 217 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,289 You don't know what I know. 218 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:05,169 Oh, really? 219 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:06,629 - Hey, hey, oh. - Yeah! 220 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:08,089 What's with you two? 221 00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:11,217 Snappin' at each other like betta fish sharing a bowl. 222 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:12,635 We're having issues. 223 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,387 Well, get over them. 224 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:15,930 You're family. Figure it out. 225 00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:17,741 Might we not say the same thing about Yolanda? 226 00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:19,058 Not if he's into her. 227 00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:20,309 That would be gross. 228 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:24,397 We can be Bowser's family, but she is his love interest. Duh. 229 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,750 But once you're with someone, doesn't that make you family, 230 00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:29,110 - like, by marriage or whatever? - That's stupid. 231 00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:30,629 No, it's not. It's a valid question. 232 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,988 - Stupid! - Is not! 233 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,323 - Okay. Okay. Hey, hey, cut it out. - [BOTH SHOUTING] 234 00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:35,950 All right? Dirty laundry. 235 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,827 Wash it, fold it, put it away. 236 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,160 And go away! 237 00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:41,205 And bring me back my stuff after school. 238 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,226 I'm gonna go throw up in the mop sink. 239 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,458 - Oh. - [BOWSER GRUNTS] 240 00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:54,444 Do you want to talk about what happened with Miles? 241 00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:56,429 You mean, do I want to talk about the time 242 00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:59,515 that you didn't show up for me and I lost my soul mate? 243 00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:01,225 My one and only? 244 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,728 The man to whom I gave my flower? 245 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:04,979 Your flower? Ew. 246 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:07,398 He was everything, Sterling. 247 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,442 We like the same movies. 248 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:10,860 We both love nachos so much 249 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:13,404 that we don't care if the other one has nacho breath. 250 00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:15,489 He made me feel beautiful. 251 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,115 He's beautiful. 252 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,994 And he's smart, and weird, and funny, 253 00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:21,704 and you ruined everything! 254 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,790 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. 255 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:26,459 I was with April and... 256 00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:27,418 And what? 257 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:30,212 Her bad rhymes were more important than your sister? 258 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:31,839 They weren't all bad. 259 00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:33,900 There were some solid ones like "leave" and "peeve" 260 00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,426 and... and "trust" and "pizza crust." 261 00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,845 So, April the Wonder Rhymer 262 00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:39,597 is your new best friend now? 263 00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:41,849 You know she hates you, right? 264 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:43,892 I wouldn't say that. 265 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,478 We're in a better place now. 266 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:47,146 Our relationship has evolved. 267 00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,229 How nice for you. 268 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,487 What if I called Miles and explained? 269 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,119 Music? You pick. 270 00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,916 - [TIRES THUMP] - [STERLING GRUNTS] 271 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,253 [HARD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 272 00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:16,883 ♪ Go! ♪ 273 00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:33,984 Bowser! 274 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,861 - [SOUL MUSIC PLAYING] - [SIGHS] 275 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:36,945 Terrance. 276 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,197 What you got there? 277 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,323 Donuts. 278 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,283 For Yolanda. Is she home? 279 00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:42,575 Sure, come in. 280 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,959 It smells so delicious in here. 281 00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:52,670 That'd be my natural man musk. 282 00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:53,753 I run sweet. 283 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,632 It could also be the cinnamon rolls I made from scratch. 284 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,219 Hey. 285 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:01,886 I'm sorry. 286 00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:03,304 I overreacted. 287 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,559 I want to keep working with you. 288 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,147 I got emotional and I said some dumb things, 289 00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:12,940 but I am a professional 290 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,317 and I will be totally professional from here on in. 291 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,111 I brought donuts. 292 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,115 Terrance made cinnamon rolls from scratch. 293 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:22,532 You want one? 294 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,285 Yeah. 295 00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:40,009 - Uh-uh. - Oh, fuck me. 296 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,469 - Yeah? - How the hell did you... 297 00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:44,972 I pour warm, heavy cream over the top right before they go in the oven. 298 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,266 That's the trick that makes them extra gooey. 299 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:49,226 Mm-hm. Goddamn. 300 00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:50,770 I'm gonna freshen up. 301 00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,772 Can't be tracking in an apron, you know? 302 00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:54,273 Wouldn't look good on YouTube. 303 00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:55,900 At least not for my bounty channel. 304 00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,151 Great for my cooking channel. 305 00:12:57,234 --> 00:13:00,196 You know, I end each show with, "Bye-bye." 306 00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,823 Hold on a minute, you've got a cooking channel? 307 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:03,741 Yeah, I sure do. 308 00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:06,076 I also have one of those ASMR channels 309 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,913 where I rub my fingernails across wicker furniture. 310 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:11,582 I'm still working on the catchphrase for that one. 311 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,211 Hey, so, who's he got today? 312 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,004 - Fren-Z. - That's my skip! 313 00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:19,381 I'm still working that. Now give it back to me. 314 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,505 You quit on me last night, so I gave it to Terrance. 315 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:22,927 - Terrance! - Yup. 316 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:24,303 I'm taking Fren-Z back. 317 00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,138 I started this case. I've got a line on him. 318 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,515 I know exactly where he's going. 319 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,267 I'm sorry, but my camera guy's waiting out in the car. 320 00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,329 I already booked him for the day. I can't cancel on him now 321 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,313 after he turned down Little Women: Atlanta for me. 322 00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:35,689 That is not my problem. 323 00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:37,857 It is now. 324 00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:40,659 Try and make a move and I'm going to be on you 325 00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,363 like bird shit on a shiny car. 326 00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:44,406 Guess that makes you bird shit. 327 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,550 Okay, that hurt my feelings. 328 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:48,285 You're hurtin' my business. Yolanda, you know this is my case. 329 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,954 Y'all are giving me a tension headache. 330 00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:51,037 Work it out. 331 00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:56,293 Rock paper scissors? 332 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,379 I'll whoop your ass at rock paper scissors. 333 00:13:58,462 --> 00:14:00,631 - Mm. - [BOTH] One, two, three... ha! 334 00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:03,342 One, two, three... ha! 335 00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,095 One, two, three... ha! 336 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:07,720 One, two, three... ha! 337 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:09,598 One, two, three... ha! 338 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,517 - Okay, Okay. Stop! - [BOWSER GROANS] 339 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,185 You're weirdly defying the odds. 340 00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:16,063 Work together, 50-50 split. That's it. 341 00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:18,232 - I work alone. - You know I'm not letting this go. 342 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:19,817 The payout is enough for everybody. 343 00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:22,820 Play nicely, or I will take it away from both of you 344 00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:24,089 and give it to Murphy the Dwarf. 345 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,614 - Can you even say that? - Right? 346 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,242 It's an identifying feature and a medical diagnosis. 347 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,661 It's like saying High Blood Pressure Bowser. 348 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,580 You can just say Bowser, okay? 349 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,164 Fine. I'll share. 350 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,417 Because I like making you happy. 351 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:38,961 But clean yourself up a bit. 352 00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,338 You're going to be on camera. 353 00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:47,928 [MAN SPEAKS OVER LOUDSPEAKER] 354 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:50,430 You should smile. 355 00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,742 Men are not allowed to say that to women anymore. 356 00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:55,019 I assure you my suggestion is purely academic, 357 00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:57,062 uh, not flirtatious, ma'am. 358 00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,523 Smiling faces are more easily identified, 359 00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:03,444 thus serving to thwart identity theft. 360 00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,070 You see, the neutral expression... 361 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,549 - Would you please take the photo? - I'm not asking for a grin. 362 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:10,326 That would be too much. I'm not allowed. 363 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,870 I said no. 364 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,792 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 365 00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:23,379 Hello. 366 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,720 Uh... Yes. 367 00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:33,933 Yes, you know what, I... I completely forgot to call. 368 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,160 The morning got away from me. 369 00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,977 Uh, the girls have doctor's appointments. 370 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:39,104 That's right. That's right. 371 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,648 That's why they're absent. 372 00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,491 Um, no, they are fine. They are totally fine. 373 00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:44,818 Just, uh... an ounce of prevention, right? 374 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,528 [FORCED CHUCKLE] 375 00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:48,155 [CLEARS THROAT] 376 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:49,949 Well, thank you so much for calling. 377 00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:51,742 Uh... Bye, now. 378 00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,961 [RINGING] 379 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,254 [WOMAN] Please leave your message after the tone. 380 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,757 - [CELL PHONE BEEPS] - What did you do with my girls? 381 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,426 [HARD ROCK PLAYING] 382 00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:12,054 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 383 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,808 - [SIGHS] - Who? 384 00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:16,892 - Mom. - [GROANS] 385 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,310 No way I'm picking that up. 386 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,648 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 387 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,567 Now she's calling me. 388 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,653 Do we text her? 389 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:29,446 No! Don't. 390 00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:31,490 Just ignore her. 391 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,653 It's better to ask forgiveness than permission. Right? 392 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:36,704 What if she's worried? 393 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:37,955 All right, fine. 394 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,790 Text her, "We're fine. 395 00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:41,207 Text you later. 396 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:42,876 Don't worry, we're fine." 397 00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:44,460 "We're fine" twice? 398 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:46,296 It's more reassuring. 399 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,090 They texted "we're fine" twice. 400 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,842 That means they're not fine. 401 00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:54,346 Oh, gosh dag it! I knew we should have put that tracking thing on their phones. 402 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,305 We tried to. 403 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,016 They... They declined our invitation. 404 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,600 They refused to share their location. 405 00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:02,104 This is what happens when you teach girls to read. 406 00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,191 I'm nervous. I could joke or fart. 407 00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,276 Which would you prefer? 408 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,110 [SCOFFS] 409 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,405 [TYPING ON CELL PHONE] 410 00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:12,488 [FLATULENCE] 411 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:13,948 [CELL PHONE BLEEPS] 412 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,409 [SIGHS] She's asking where we are. 413 00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:16,910 Block her. 414 00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,454 We need to focus. 415 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:21,290 We'll throw ourselves on the mercy of the court later. 416 00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:41,560 [GROANS] 417 00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:43,979 Look at this place. 418 00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:47,399 It's like what the flu feels like, but as a whole town. 419 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:49,562 What do you think killed it? 420 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,445 Opioids? 421 00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:52,821 Walmart? 422 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,114 I'm guessing suicide. 423 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,343 Was there something historical here? Maybe Mom was on a field trip. 424 00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:58,911 According to the interwebs, 425 00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,538 the best thing that ever happened in Nardinia... 426 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,166 - Nandina. Sorry. - This town. 427 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:07,669 Was when the Union soldiers got parasites from the creek water. 428 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,838 It's a shit town on every level. 429 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,775 Maybe she was passing through and her car broke down. 430 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:14,760 People don't take photos with their broken down cars, Sterl. 431 00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:15,843 I don't know! 432 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:34,196 Is that pig eating pig? 433 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,449 Dear God, look away! 434 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:44,790 Welcome to Hobo's Ham. 435 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,375 "Our ham is good." 436 00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:49,211 That's it? That's your slogan? 437 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:50,212 Yep. 438 00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:52,135 You know your sign is basically a cannibal pig? 439 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:53,590 - Yeah. - So, uh... 440 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:55,551 - we just moved here and... - Why? 441 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:58,428 Okay, you got us. 442 00:18:58,971 --> 00:18:59,971 We would never live here. 443 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,307 Look, do you recognize this woman? 444 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,310 - No. - She was probably before his time. 445 00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:07,354 [MAN] Uh... 446 00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:08,897 I know her shirt, though. 447 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,941 Are you looking at her boobs? That's our mother. 448 00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:12,359 Where is her shirt from? 449 00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:13,443 Local church. 450 00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:17,072 You hear that? Mom went to church in this town. 451 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,073 Maybe she was visiting. 452 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,575 Sterling, nobody visits here. 453 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,095 And if they did, they do not buy a t-shirt from the local church. 454 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:23,453 And nobody visits here. 455 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:25,539 And also, no one visits here! 456 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:26,790 She lived here. 457 00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:29,334 Okay. What if she has relatives here? She could visit. 458 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:30,898 Seriously, if you had relatives here, 459 00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:33,422 you'd say, "Sorry. I can never visit you because if I did, 460 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,215 I would definitely witness a grisly crime 461 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,842 and then get thrown into a ravine." 462 00:19:36,925 --> 00:19:38,135 I'm allowed to speculate. 463 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,721 Listen, I know this place looks really gross, 464 00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:42,323 - but it smells really good. - You want to get ribs? 465 00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:43,347 Do we risk it? 466 00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:46,602 [FLIES BUZZING] 467 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:50,730 [MAN] Mm. 468 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,816 [FLIES BUZZING] 469 00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:55,944 - No, uh-uh. - Big no. Hard no. 470 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,028 I can't. We'll die. 471 00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:58,506 Look, y'all gonna order something? 472 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:01,259 I got a sack of rear legs to throw in the pig chipper before afternoon rush. 473 00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:02,201 Pig chipper? 474 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:03,202 Afternoon rush? 475 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:04,828 Um, where is that local church? 476 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:07,072 All right, head down Main, past Tom Fassbender's place. 477 00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:08,183 If you see his dog, do not slow down, 478 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,684 she will bite clean through your tires. 479 00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:12,336 Turn left at the big tree, left at the tractor wreck. 480 00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:14,716 If you hit the ravine, don't look down in there, 481 00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:15,797 head back up the hill. 482 00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:19,593 Uh, I'm gonna tell you though, that church is crazy. 483 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:24,264 Tabernacle Church of Christ the Redeemer, The Living God, and His Army? 484 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,434 You know, the longer the name, the more extreme. 485 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,120 Are you sure we want to do this? 486 00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:30,312 Bailing on me again? 487 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,940 No, no, no, no, I'm ready. Let's do this. 488 00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:34,233 I'm so ready. 489 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,901 [DOGS BARKING] 490 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:38,070 In the car! Now! Quick! Quick! Quick! 491 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,031 [MAN] Try and look busy. 492 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,408 I am busy. 493 00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:45,160 I'm doing my job. 494 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:48,121 Hey, could you look in the camera for a sec, 495 00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:49,331 and maybe say, 496 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,708 "It's collab time." 497 00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,144 - That's good. - That's good, right? 498 00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:55,170 TMZ, get the fuck out of my office. 499 00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:56,671 Go! 500 00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:59,821 - [OBJECT CLATTERS] - [TERRANCE] Uh, yeah, take a break, Phil. 501 00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:03,262 We'll grab his intro later when he's not in a mood. 502 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,556 Trust me, this will always be my mood. 503 00:21:07,724 --> 00:21:08,809 [GROANS] 504 00:21:08,892 --> 00:21:11,353 All right, what we got on Fren-Z? 505 00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:12,562 [SIGHS] 506 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,731 Well, he's trying to finish up a track 507 00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:16,608 and get his ass down to the Maldives. 508 00:21:17,484 --> 00:21:18,610 He can't fly commercial, 509 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,570 so he'll be looking for a private ride. 510 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,323 The record company is trying to distance themselves from him, 511 00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:24,700 so they won't be offering. 512 00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,827 So who can he turn to? 513 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,996 Who in Atlanta 514 00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,790 is rich enough to have their own plane 515 00:21:32,499 --> 00:21:36,003 and powerful enough to do Fren-Z a solid without getting in trouble? 516 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,173 [BOTH] Tyler Perry! 517 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,258 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 518 00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:43,427 - [DEBBIE] Mr. Bowser? - [BOWSER CHUCKLES] 519 00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:47,097 Oh, hi! I'm not sure if you remember me. 520 00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:50,058 Uh, Debbie Wesley. I'm Blair and Sterling's mom. 521 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,536 - I came by to see... - Yes, of course. 522 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,020 You ordered a teeny-tiny yogurt 523 00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:55,123 and then pushed it around the cup instead of eating it. 524 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:58,859 [CHUCKLES] Yes, well, I've been doing that intermittent fasting, so... 525 00:21:58,942 --> 00:22:00,736 [CHUCKLES AND CLEARS THROAT] 526 00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,154 Sorry if that upset you. 527 00:22:02,237 --> 00:22:04,531 I don't care what you do with it once it's paid for. 528 00:22:04,614 --> 00:22:07,367 That's just the image I used to place you in my mind palace. 529 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,595 I found a parking space. Does he know where the girls are? 530 00:22:09,619 --> 00:22:11,496 - Do you know where the girls are? - The girls? 531 00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:12,640 Uh, the school called today. 532 00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:13,999 They didn't show up. 533 00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:15,751 We thought you might know where they are. 534 00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:17,252 They're not answering their phones. 535 00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:21,590 No, I don't have them on the schedule today, but, uh... 536 00:22:22,466 --> 00:22:23,800 I'll be sure to keep an eye out. 537 00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:26,386 Thank you. I'd appreciate that. 538 00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:28,305 We do appreciate that. 539 00:22:28,388 --> 00:22:29,973 Yeah, it'll be fine. 540 00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:31,390 Teenagers. 541 00:22:31,558 --> 00:22:32,558 [CHUCKLES] 542 00:22:33,226 --> 00:22:34,353 When we were teenagers, 543 00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:37,022 my brother blew up an armadillo with a Roman candle. 544 00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:38,773 It was awful. 545 00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:40,984 [DEBBIE] Right. Um... 546 00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:43,487 Well, here are our numbers. 547 00:22:43,570 --> 00:22:46,573 Uh... Could you just give us a call if they pop by for yogurt? 548 00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:48,158 Thank you, Mr. Bowser. 549 00:22:48,241 --> 00:22:49,868 - Okay, now. - Thank you. 550 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,369 Bye, now. 551 00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:06,176 [CELL PHONES DING] 552 00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:09,846 Mom and Dad went to Bowser? 553 00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:11,264 They totally know we're ditching. 554 00:23:11,348 --> 00:23:12,391 We've come too far. 555 00:23:12,474 --> 00:23:14,893 Ignore, block. We'll deal with it later. 556 00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:17,436 Hey. 557 00:23:19,773 --> 00:23:22,234 Jones, Perry, Pierce... 558 00:23:23,276 --> 00:23:25,195 Culpepper. Boom. 559 00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:27,114 They spelled it with one P. 560 00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:28,865 Mom's got two Ps in her maiden name. 561 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:31,159 There's the other P. 562 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:34,329 [WOMAN] Are you girls here for the Rapture preparation class? 563 00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:36,832 It's not for another hour. 564 00:23:38,041 --> 00:23:41,795 Uh... No, ma'am, we're just looking around 565 00:23:42,629 --> 00:23:44,965 tracing back our family roots, actually. 566 00:23:45,048 --> 00:23:48,718 Would you happen to know the Culpeppers, by any chance? 567 00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:52,639 Culpepper. 568 00:23:52,722 --> 00:23:53,849 Culpepper. 569 00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:55,809 Cul... pepper. 570 00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:58,186 Culpepper. 571 00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:00,313 Culpepper. 572 00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:02,315 Culpepper. 573 00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:08,572 Ah. Yes, just had to locate them in my recollection storehouse. 574 00:24:09,072 --> 00:24:11,241 They moved away a long time ago. 575 00:24:11,825 --> 00:24:13,410 - How long ago? - Oh... 576 00:24:13,493 --> 00:24:14,661 I don't know. 577 00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:16,746 Poor things. 578 00:24:17,205 --> 00:24:18,206 Poor things? 579 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,792 I remember feeling very bad for them. 580 00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:23,003 - Because they lived here? - Pardon me. 581 00:24:23,086 --> 00:24:25,422 I live here and it happens to be... 582 00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:29,134 a nice reminder that the world to come 583 00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:30,969 will be a whole lot better. 584 00:24:33,388 --> 00:24:35,056 So, why do you feel bad for them? 585 00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:38,393 Well, they had such a time with that daughter of theirs. 586 00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:41,521 Oh, no, what'd she do? 587 00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:44,232 We do not gossip in this church, young lady. 588 00:24:44,524 --> 00:24:47,194 A bullfrog only has to croak once 589 00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:49,362 to wake up the entire pond. 590 00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:51,823 But, suffice it to say... 591 00:24:51,907 --> 00:24:54,242 she danced with the devil, that one. 592 00:24:55,202 --> 00:24:56,536 We all prayed for them, 593 00:24:56,620 --> 00:25:00,457 especially after that unfortunate business with the police. 594 00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:02,292 - The police? - Uh-uh! 595 00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:05,086 Without wood, a fire goes out. 596 00:25:05,420 --> 00:25:07,797 I am not giving you any more wood. 597 00:25:09,216 --> 00:25:14,888 But, um, would you care to make a donation to our congregation? 598 00:25:15,430 --> 00:25:18,266 One of our snakes recently passed. 599 00:25:19,559 --> 00:25:20,559 [BLAIR] Oh. 600 00:25:21,019 --> 00:25:22,019 We... 601 00:25:22,562 --> 00:25:24,856 spent all our money at Hobo's Ham. 602 00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:25,774 Oh. 603 00:25:25,857 --> 00:25:28,944 Well, in that case, I'd stick close to a restroom if I was you. 604 00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:30,612 Thank you, ma'am. We will. 605 00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:32,113 It was nice talking to you. 606 00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:33,197 Have a blessed day. 607 00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:37,536 Are you sure you don't want to come back to the Rapture class? 608 00:25:37,827 --> 00:25:41,039 When that trumpet sounds, we need to be prepared. 609 00:25:41,122 --> 00:25:43,625 Oh, um, we're doing an independent study, 610 00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:44,876 but thank you, ma'am. 611 00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:46,711 [CELL PHONE BEEPS] 612 00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:49,714 Independent study? 613 00:25:52,717 --> 00:25:54,886 [STUDENTS CHATTERING] 614 00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:06,147 April! You are MOBOT. 615 00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:07,399 Um, what? No, I'm not. 616 00:26:07,482 --> 00:26:10,819 Yes, you are. You are missing out because of texting. 617 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,655 Don't become a robot who is a MOBOT. 618 00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:14,614 Okay? 619 00:26:14,698 --> 00:26:17,742 [MIMICS ROBOT] I am a robot who is a MOBOT. 620 00:26:17,867 --> 00:26:18,867 I am... 621 00:26:19,953 --> 00:26:20,953 She remarried? 622 00:26:21,705 --> 00:26:22,705 [SIGHS] 623 00:26:23,331 --> 00:26:24,331 I mean... 624 00:26:25,458 --> 00:26:27,168 Just put it away. Okay? 625 00:26:27,794 --> 00:26:29,296 Okay. I'll put it away. 626 00:26:29,379 --> 00:26:30,964 And look, you are doing great work. 627 00:26:31,381 --> 00:26:32,799 Okay? I love you. 628 00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:36,136 [SIGHS] Look at all this work. 629 00:26:41,224 --> 00:26:42,224 Hey! 630 00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:45,020 I wouldn't get too close. Apparently, I'm MOBOT. 631 00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:48,857 Yeah. Well, yesterday I was missing out because of fantasy football. MOBOFF? 632 00:26:50,191 --> 00:26:51,991 - It sounds kind of dirty, right? - [CHUCKLES] 633 00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:55,113 - Ellen really loves acronyms. - [CHUCKLES] 634 00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:56,031 Yeah. 635 00:26:56,114 --> 00:26:57,907 I heard you were with Sterling last night? 636 00:26:57,991 --> 00:26:59,802 What do you...? What do you mean? What did you hear? 637 00:26:59,826 --> 00:27:03,204 That you guys were, like, making playlists and clues and stuff? 638 00:27:03,663 --> 00:27:05,957 - How is she? - I don't know. Fine. 639 00:27:07,083 --> 00:27:09,085 Why do you even care? Aren't you two broken up? 640 00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:13,131 No. No. We're just working on ourselves independently from one another. 641 00:27:13,715 --> 00:27:15,759 And I've been working really, really hard, 642 00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:17,802 and I've been giving her a lot of space, 643 00:27:18,345 --> 00:27:21,848 uh, but I would like to close that space. There's... There's just too much space. 644 00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:23,391 Did... Hey, hey... 645 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:24,976 Did she say anything about me? 646 00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:26,644 Luke... 647 00:27:28,229 --> 00:27:31,483 [SCOFFS] Every time I say your name, I want to tell you to "use the Force." 648 00:27:31,566 --> 00:27:33,401 Oh, yeah, yeah, I get that a lot. 649 00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:35,236 I actually tried to use the Force one time 650 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,573 to lift the fridge in our garage off my favorite frisbee golf frisbee. 651 00:27:40,116 --> 00:27:42,035 I popped one of my eardrums real bad. 652 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,374 Hey, what can you tell me about Sterli? 653 00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:50,669 To... stick with the theme... 654 00:27:51,586 --> 00:27:54,923 I think right now her space 655 00:27:55,006 --> 00:28:00,804 is in a galaxy far, far away from your space. 656 00:28:03,014 --> 00:28:04,014 She's moved on. 657 00:28:06,434 --> 00:28:08,311 I find your lack of faith disturbing. 658 00:28:09,604 --> 00:28:11,314 I'm not saying this to be hurtful. 659 00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:14,565 I'm saying it as a friend. 660 00:28:15,944 --> 00:28:19,531 Maybe it would be good for you to... start thinking about moving on, 661 00:28:20,573 --> 00:28:21,733 save yourself some heartache. 662 00:28:23,618 --> 00:28:27,956 "You can't stop change any more than you can stop the suns from setting." 663 00:28:28,415 --> 00:28:29,874 You're, like, a legit Star Wars fan. 664 00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:32,478 Daddy and I watched them whenever we have time together. 665 00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:33,503 It's our thing. 666 00:28:35,922 --> 00:28:36,922 Was our thing. 667 00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:39,902 Yeah, I hear things have been really rough at your house lately. 668 00:28:40,427 --> 00:28:41,547 I'm really sorry about that. 669 00:28:43,304 --> 00:28:44,304 Yeah, well. 670 00:28:46,766 --> 00:28:48,184 I'm sorry about you and Sterling. 671 00:28:48,268 --> 00:28:50,854 You know, she's... She's not acting right. I'm... 672 00:28:51,938 --> 00:28:54,399 I'm about this close to being halfway angry at her. 673 00:28:54,482 --> 00:28:55,482 I get it. 674 00:29:02,615 --> 00:29:04,335 Girls, I just want to know you're all right. 675 00:29:05,535 --> 00:29:06,453 Gettin' a little nervous here 676 00:29:06,536 --> 00:29:09,789 because I know how much the two of you love your devices. 677 00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:11,415 So, um... 678 00:29:12,542 --> 00:29:15,837 why don't we take a break from the SnapTalk and the TicTac and... 679 00:29:16,713 --> 00:29:18,840 you know, give old Bowser a call... 680 00:29:20,258 --> 00:29:21,301 so I don't worry. 681 00:29:22,719 --> 00:29:24,220 - All right. - That's it? 682 00:29:24,345 --> 00:29:25,722 Yeah. Press "end." 683 00:29:26,556 --> 00:29:29,100 Uh... you don't press "send" on a voice message... 684 00:29:29,184 --> 00:29:31,436 I said press "end." Damn it. "End." 685 00:29:31,519 --> 00:29:33,021 [SIGHS] Gotcha. 686 00:29:33,563 --> 00:29:34,563 Night night. 687 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,400 - It's not even night. - The ladies love it. 688 00:29:37,484 --> 00:29:40,111 They're girls! Okay? Not ladies. 689 00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:42,238 Listen to Daddy over here. 690 00:29:42,322 --> 00:29:44,365 What's your deal with those two, anyway? 691 00:29:44,449 --> 00:29:46,242 I'm a teacher who respects his students. 692 00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:47,869 I got their back. They got mine. 693 00:29:47,952 --> 00:29:49,788 See, that's your mistake right there. 694 00:29:49,871 --> 00:29:51,748 This is a business for lone wolves. 695 00:29:51,831 --> 00:29:53,416 You think someone's got your back 696 00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:55,700 and then you turn around and they're stabbing you in it. 697 00:29:57,128 --> 00:29:58,922 You get that? I'm giving you gold here. 698 00:29:59,005 --> 00:30:00,632 Oh, shoot... um, no. 699 00:30:01,299 --> 00:30:03,802 - Was I supposed to be filming? - Always be filming, bro! 700 00:30:03,885 --> 00:30:05,804 It's your job. Do your job, man. 701 00:30:07,347 --> 00:30:09,307 See? Can't rely on anybody. 702 00:30:09,390 --> 00:30:10,475 Tell me about it. 703 00:30:10,767 --> 00:30:13,228 - You want to repeat that line? - No, the moment's passed. 704 00:30:13,311 --> 00:30:15,104 [BLOWS OUT] Thank God. 705 00:30:16,981 --> 00:30:18,066 [CLICKS TEETH] 706 00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:21,361 This business is for lone wolves. 707 00:30:21,694 --> 00:30:23,014 You think someone's got your back 708 00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:25,049 and then you turn around and they're stabbin' you in it. 709 00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:28,284 This job is about self-reliance and the purity of competition. 710 00:30:28,368 --> 00:30:29,702 That's what keeps me turned on. 711 00:30:29,786 --> 00:30:31,246 That keeps you turned on, huh? 712 00:30:31,329 --> 00:30:32,956 Hell, yeah. What turns you on? 713 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:36,500 Yolanda. 714 00:30:36,751 --> 00:30:37,836 She turns me on, too. 715 00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:38,919 Not like that. 716 00:30:40,797 --> 00:30:42,465 I've got real feelings for her, man. 717 00:30:43,216 --> 00:30:44,216 Could you speak up? 718 00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:46,135 You know what, if you don't stop 719 00:30:46,386 --> 00:30:47,738 and shut that shit down right now, 720 00:30:47,762 --> 00:30:49,907 I'm gonna throw this out the window. You understand me? 721 00:30:49,931 --> 00:30:51,391 [CAMERAMAN] Please, please don't. 722 00:30:51,474 --> 00:30:54,269 I keep forgetting I'm being filmed all the goddamn time. 723 00:30:54,519 --> 00:30:56,896 [TERRANCE] God, get with the times, Bowser. 724 00:30:56,980 --> 00:30:58,565 No one is ever not being filmed. 725 00:30:58,648 --> 00:31:00,149 The world is made of cameras. 726 00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:03,528 May I please get my cross-stitch back? I shut it off. 727 00:31:03,611 --> 00:31:04,696 - [BOWSER] Later! - Okay. 728 00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:06,406 I'm holding it for insurance. 729 00:31:06,489 --> 00:31:07,949 I got feelings for Yolanda. 730 00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:10,702 You think I make my buns for just anyone? 731 00:31:10,785 --> 00:31:12,078 I thought you were a lone wolf. 732 00:31:12,453 --> 00:31:14,497 Don't mean I don't like myself a little lamb. 733 00:31:14,914 --> 00:31:15,915 A boy's gotta eat. 734 00:31:15,999 --> 00:31:17,917 Yolanda may be a lot of things, 735 00:31:18,001 --> 00:31:20,503 but a little lamb sure ain't one of 'em. 736 00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:23,047 You don't know her. I know her. 737 00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:25,174 I've known her 20 years now. 738 00:31:25,258 --> 00:31:26,258 Hm. 739 00:31:26,801 --> 00:31:29,481 You'd think you would have done something about it in all that time. 740 00:31:33,975 --> 00:31:35,059 You can't bring this in. 741 00:31:35,143 --> 00:31:37,937 Oh, right. Can you hold on to it for me? 742 00:31:38,479 --> 00:31:39,479 No problem. 743 00:31:49,616 --> 00:31:51,409 [MAN CHATTERING] 744 00:31:52,619 --> 00:31:54,662 Well, hey there. 745 00:31:54,954 --> 00:31:57,332 I'm Blair. How are you doing today? 746 00:31:57,415 --> 00:32:00,919 I was hoping that you could help me with something. 747 00:32:02,503 --> 00:32:04,339 - You trying to flirt with me? - Maybe. 748 00:32:05,214 --> 00:32:06,341 How am I doing? 749 00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:08,384 Terribly. 750 00:32:08,468 --> 00:32:10,678 You're blinking like you got ash in your eye 751 00:32:10,762 --> 00:32:12,948 and you're trying to get a gay man to look at your tits. 752 00:32:12,972 --> 00:32:13,806 Put them away. 753 00:32:13,890 --> 00:32:14,933 Oh. 754 00:32:15,016 --> 00:32:16,285 Did it ever cross your mind to just, 755 00:32:16,309 --> 00:32:18,603 I don't know, ask for what you want like a person? 756 00:32:18,686 --> 00:32:19,788 You'll have to forgive my sister. 757 00:32:19,812 --> 00:32:21,606 She's internalized the societal messaging 758 00:32:21,689 --> 00:32:23,942 that women are only as valuable as their sexual appeal, 759 00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:25,502 so this has been a valuable reckoning. 760 00:32:25,526 --> 00:32:26,361 Thank you. 761 00:32:26,444 --> 00:32:28,988 And my sister has internalized the societal messaging 762 00:32:29,072 --> 00:32:31,407 that sisters can be unreliable and selfish, 763 00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:33,368 but I don't blame society... 764 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:34,994 I blame her. 765 00:32:35,078 --> 00:32:36,829 I really like your glasses. 766 00:32:36,913 --> 00:32:38,498 [GASPS] Vintage. 767 00:32:38,581 --> 00:32:40,261 Nice, right? I had my prescription put in. 768 00:32:40,333 --> 00:32:41,834 They're in perfect condition. 769 00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:44,212 I found a pair like those in the Sally Army once, 770 00:32:44,295 --> 00:32:46,440 but the stems were so chewed up, they looked like jerky. 771 00:32:46,464 --> 00:32:48,549 These were dead stock, still in the box. 772 00:32:48,633 --> 00:32:51,010 That dummy at that shop had no idea what she had, 773 00:32:51,094 --> 00:32:52,887 so I bought myself seven pairs. 774 00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:55,473 I'm saving two, and puttin' the rest on Etsy. 775 00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:56,933 I'm a businessman. 776 00:32:57,016 --> 00:32:58,851 Brilliant, and a heck of a score. 777 00:32:59,143 --> 00:33:00,186 I'm Sterling, by the way. 778 00:33:00,269 --> 00:33:01,455 Nice to meet you, I'm Garrett. 779 00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:03,398 That's the way to have a conversation. 780 00:33:04,190 --> 00:33:05,584 What can I do you for, Miss Sterling? 781 00:33:05,608 --> 00:33:06,961 Well, we're looking for some information 782 00:33:06,985 --> 00:33:08,796 on a woman that used to live here in Nannadina. 783 00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:10,279 [CHUCKLES] Nandina. 784 00:33:10,363 --> 00:33:11,489 See, it is hard to remember. 785 00:33:12,949 --> 00:33:14,867 - Debbie Culpepper. - Two Ps. 786 00:33:14,951 --> 00:33:15,952 With two Ps. 787 00:33:16,035 --> 00:33:18,121 Her birthday is February 26, 1981, 788 00:33:18,204 --> 00:33:19,807 and we think she might have a police record. 789 00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:22,500 Fill out this form. Name, phone, email address, 790 00:33:22,583 --> 00:33:24,343 and I'll see what I can come up with for you. 791 00:33:30,883 --> 00:33:31,883 I like your shirt. 792 00:33:32,218 --> 00:33:34,137 - Really? "I like your shirt"? - Hey! 793 00:33:35,096 --> 00:33:36,216 I'm going through a breakup. 794 00:33:37,724 --> 00:33:39,183 Cut me a little slack, man. 795 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:40,601 [MAN] Just sit down. 796 00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:45,148 [BELL RINGS] 797 00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:47,608 So, we know for sure he's here, right? 798 00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:49,052 Yeah, that's what my girl told me. 799 00:33:50,153 --> 00:33:53,614 - So, you already stepping out on Yolanda? - It ain't even like that. 800 00:33:54,073 --> 00:33:57,702 Darlene is hard where I like it soft. 801 00:33:58,161 --> 00:33:59,203 We go to the same gym. 802 00:33:59,287 --> 00:34:01,497 Lady's lean like Fight Club Pitt. 803 00:34:02,165 --> 00:34:04,292 She mentioned once on a lag day that she works here 804 00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:06,169 and I added it to my memory castle. 805 00:34:08,171 --> 00:34:09,338 So, what's your plan here? 806 00:34:09,422 --> 00:34:10,965 I gotta feel out the situation. 807 00:34:11,799 --> 00:34:12,925 I work on instinct. 808 00:34:13,593 --> 00:34:14,427 Why? You got a plan? 809 00:34:14,510 --> 00:34:17,055 Yeah, my plan is to get this over with as quickly as possible. 810 00:34:17,472 --> 00:34:18,472 That was my plan. 811 00:34:19,515 --> 00:34:20,641 [TIRES SCREECH] 812 00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:21,726 Hey, Terrence. 813 00:34:21,809 --> 00:34:25,021 See, one of the most important things to have when you're a bounty hunter... 814 00:34:25,521 --> 00:34:26,564 is contacts. 815 00:34:27,398 --> 00:34:29,942 I'm a lone wolf, but I still have contacts. 816 00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:32,779 Gonna call this episode "Lone Wolf." 817 00:34:32,862 --> 00:34:35,073 You realize we are working this case together, right? 818 00:34:35,156 --> 00:34:37,450 Yeeeeah, I think I'll edit around you. 819 00:34:37,533 --> 00:34:39,577 So what do you do exactly on the lot here? 820 00:34:39,660 --> 00:34:40,661 I'm the beekeeper. 821 00:34:40,745 --> 00:34:42,288 We got bee boxes all over. 822 00:34:42,371 --> 00:34:44,290 Mr. Perry loves fresh honey. 823 00:34:44,540 --> 00:34:47,168 Don't know that he eats it, but he uses a lot of it. 824 00:34:48,294 --> 00:34:49,170 I don't ask. 825 00:34:49,253 --> 00:34:51,339 You think we could, uh, borrow your bees? 826 00:34:51,631 --> 00:34:53,382 Use them to flush this guy off the stage? 827 00:34:53,466 --> 00:34:54,300 Fuck, no! 828 00:34:54,383 --> 00:34:56,385 My bees are docile and lovely. 829 00:34:57,261 --> 00:34:59,639 So, how do you keep 'em calm? You use smoke? 830 00:34:59,722 --> 00:35:01,265 How do you know so much about bees? 831 00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:03,351 Oh, that Secret Life of Bees movie. 832 00:35:03,476 --> 00:35:04,977 I love me some Queen Latifah. 833 00:35:05,061 --> 00:35:06,395 [TERRANCE] I know that movie. 834 00:35:06,479 --> 00:35:08,559 Back when Jennifer Hudson still had some meat on her. 835 00:35:09,148 --> 00:35:11,359 So, uh... can we borrow your smoker? 836 00:35:12,235 --> 00:35:13,528 The smoker you can borrow. 837 00:35:13,611 --> 00:35:14,821 [CHUCKLES] 838 00:35:14,904 --> 00:35:16,197 I see where this is going. 839 00:35:16,614 --> 00:35:17,615 Phil, mount up! Let's go. 840 00:35:18,032 --> 00:35:21,119 Terrance Coin is going to smoke out his mark. 841 00:35:22,286 --> 00:35:23,286 Great idea. 842 00:35:23,788 --> 00:35:24,914 My idea. 843 00:35:37,218 --> 00:35:38,594 [STERLING] Can you sit still? 844 00:35:38,678 --> 00:35:40,930 No. No, I can't. 845 00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:45,518 Can you please respect my investment in this mystery? 846 00:35:45,601 --> 00:35:48,855 This mystery that involves our mother? 847 00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:52,316 I mean, I think the real question is, why aren't you pacing? 848 00:35:52,608 --> 00:35:53,985 Have you no curiosity? 849 00:35:54,443 --> 00:35:56,320 Wonder? Alarm? 850 00:35:56,404 --> 00:35:59,365 - I mean, are you dead inside? - [MAN] Okay. 851 00:36:00,908 --> 00:36:04,162 There is no arrest record for Debbie Culpepper, 852 00:36:04,537 --> 00:36:06,622 or Deborah, or Debs. 853 00:36:06,706 --> 00:36:09,375 But we know she had a run-in with the police. 854 00:36:09,458 --> 00:36:11,169 A woman of God told us 855 00:36:11,502 --> 00:36:14,005 and a local pig monger pretty much corroborated, so... 856 00:36:14,088 --> 00:36:16,257 Okay, well, maybe it happened when she was a minor. 857 00:36:16,340 --> 00:36:18,593 She wouldn't be in the database if she was underage. 858 00:36:18,676 --> 00:36:20,344 [BLAIR] No, that is not good enough. 859 00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:21,971 There has to be something else. 860 00:36:22,054 --> 00:36:24,473 You're not even trying. Can I please... 861 00:36:24,557 --> 00:36:25,909 - Hey! My picture! - I am so sorry, Garrett. 862 00:36:25,933 --> 00:36:27,935 She goes crazy when her blood sugar's low. 863 00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:29,580 Thank you for trying. It was nice to meet you. 864 00:36:29,604 --> 00:36:32,190 It is always nice to meet a fellow vintage lover. 865 00:36:32,273 --> 00:36:34,275 - You have a nice day. - Thank you. 866 00:36:34,358 --> 00:36:36,128 - I don't have low blood sugar! - No! Get back! 867 00:36:36,152 --> 00:36:37,820 - Blair! Sorry! - He's not really looking. 868 00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:39,944 - He wasn't even looking... - No wonder you're single. 869 00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:41,490 What the hell are you doing? 870 00:36:41,574 --> 00:36:43,743 What am I doing? You're acting like a lunatic! 871 00:36:43,826 --> 00:36:45,661 I knew it was a mistake to bring you here. 872 00:36:45,745 --> 00:36:46,871 You don't have my back. 873 00:36:46,954 --> 00:36:48,194 I should have done this myself. 874 00:36:48,247 --> 00:36:49,582 Are you frickin' kidding me? 875 00:36:49,832 --> 00:36:52,001 All I've done today is support you and help you. 876 00:36:52,084 --> 00:36:53,961 I apologize, again and again... 877 00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:55,963 Saying you're sorry doesn't fix what you did! 878 00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:57,965 You destroyed my relationship! 879 00:36:59,133 --> 00:37:01,510 You could have rescheduled your date, Blair! 880 00:37:01,594 --> 00:37:02,905 - Oh, yeah? - You could have faked sick 881 00:37:02,929 --> 00:37:04,129 like that time in French class 882 00:37:04,180 --> 00:37:06,140 when you claimed you had alien hand syndrome, 883 00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:08,744 but no, as always, you went for the highest level of drama possible, 884 00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:10,102 because that's what you do. 885 00:37:10,186 --> 00:37:11,746 What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 886 00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:13,147 Oh, let's see, where do I begin? 887 00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:16,651 Um, you desperately tried to have sex with Jennings as fast as possible, 888 00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:18,569 to reclaim your title as the slutty twin. 889 00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:21,572 You said that a substitute teacher's ghost was haunting you. 890 00:37:21,656 --> 00:37:24,492 You literally think that Mom is some kind of criminal queen-pin. 891 00:37:24,575 --> 00:37:26,327 You can't ever let things be normal! 892 00:37:26,410 --> 00:37:28,788 Everything has to be a disaster, a hullabaloo! 893 00:37:28,871 --> 00:37:29,871 Yeah, I said hullabaloo! 894 00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:31,290 So it makes perfect sense 895 00:37:31,374 --> 00:37:34,126 that as soon as you get a nice, stable relationship, 896 00:37:34,210 --> 00:37:37,421 you immediately self-sabotage and make it blow up in your face. 897 00:37:37,505 --> 00:37:39,840 Poor, unique, special, interesting Blair. 898 00:37:39,924 --> 00:37:40,800 Jealous. 899 00:37:40,883 --> 00:37:43,386 You're jealous because my life 900 00:37:43,469 --> 00:37:46,264 is whimsical, unpredictable and fascinating, 901 00:37:46,347 --> 00:37:48,975 and yours is, was, and always will be boring! 902 00:37:49,475 --> 00:37:51,936 I forge my own path. You know what's gonna happen to you? 903 00:37:52,019 --> 00:37:53,229 You're gonna go to UGA. 904 00:37:53,312 --> 00:37:55,606 You're gonna pledge Alpha Gamma Bitch Face. 905 00:37:55,690 --> 00:37:56,770 Your hair will get blonder. 906 00:37:56,816 --> 00:37:58,526 You'll get married by 23 907 00:37:58,609 --> 00:37:59,986 and have babies by 25, 908 00:38:00,069 --> 00:38:03,114 have the exact same wallpaper and the exact same life as Mom. 909 00:38:03,197 --> 00:38:04,341 You'll get back together with Luke 910 00:38:04,365 --> 00:38:06,242 because he's safe and feels like home 911 00:38:06,325 --> 00:38:08,995 and you don't have the guts to take a chance on... 912 00:38:09,078 --> 00:38:10,830 You have no idea what kind of guts I have! 913 00:38:12,164 --> 00:38:13,164 Don't I, though? 914 00:38:14,500 --> 00:38:16,002 I'm hooking up with April! 915 00:38:18,504 --> 00:38:19,380 What? 916 00:38:19,463 --> 00:38:22,341 I wasn't there for you last night because I was following my heart, 917 00:38:22,425 --> 00:38:24,468 and my heart was in my lips, and my hands, 918 00:38:24,552 --> 00:38:27,430 and other parts of me that are none of your beeswax. 919 00:38:27,513 --> 00:38:30,516 I'm with April Stevens now and she's a girl. 920 00:38:30,599 --> 00:38:32,184 How's that for boring? 921 00:38:38,899 --> 00:38:40,026 Yeah, that's right! 922 00:38:40,109 --> 00:38:42,229 Walk away and think about your actions and your words! 923 00:38:43,904 --> 00:38:44,904 Oh, shoot, my gun. 924 00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:50,286 - [ALARM RINGS] - Oh, we got action. 925 00:38:53,539 --> 00:38:55,624 - That Swedish meatball is going down. - Yeah. 926 00:38:55,708 --> 00:38:57,543 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 927 00:39:01,881 --> 00:39:03,215 Hey, I'm kind of busy right now, 928 00:39:03,299 --> 00:39:05,739 but I definitely want to know where the hell you been all day. 929 00:39:05,843 --> 00:39:08,054 - Hey, man. Focus up. - Yeah. I gotta call you back. 930 00:39:08,137 --> 00:39:09,137 Bowser. 931 00:39:10,806 --> 00:39:13,976 Hey, hey, hey. Baby girl, everything okay? 932 00:39:14,393 --> 00:39:15,770 - Sterling... - Sterling what? 933 00:39:16,103 --> 00:39:17,103 Is she all right? 934 00:39:17,980 --> 00:39:18,981 Bowser, hello! 935 00:39:19,065 --> 00:39:20,274 We got into a fight. 936 00:39:21,275 --> 00:39:23,361 Please, I don't know who else to talk to. 937 00:39:25,404 --> 00:39:26,530 [TERRANCE] Hey, Bowser! 938 00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:28,032 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 939 00:39:28,741 --> 00:39:30,993 No. Are you serious? 940 00:39:31,660 --> 00:39:33,496 All right, tell me what happened. 941 00:39:33,829 --> 00:39:35,039 Sterling hates me. 942 00:39:35,122 --> 00:39:36,457 There's the little bastard. 943 00:39:36,540 --> 00:39:38,334 And I think I hate her, too. 944 00:39:39,251 --> 00:39:41,253 No. You two don't hate each other. 945 00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:43,005 She had all these secrets. 946 00:39:43,089 --> 00:39:44,507 We don't have secrets. 947 00:39:44,590 --> 00:39:46,801 And because of her, Miles broke up with me, 948 00:39:46,884 --> 00:39:48,969 and did I mention she wasn't there for me? 949 00:39:49,053 --> 00:39:50,346 [GROANS] I'm sorry to hear that. 950 00:39:50,971 --> 00:39:54,600 And now she thinks I'm an asshole, but she's the asshole. 951 00:39:55,017 --> 00:39:57,478 You're kind of both assholes if you ask me. 952 00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:58,396 That's not funny. 953 00:39:58,479 --> 00:40:00,582 - But I'm sure she didn't mean it. - [PEOPLE SHOUTING] 954 00:40:00,606 --> 00:40:02,900 No, I think she meant it. 955 00:40:03,192 --> 00:40:06,487 No. Sometimes we say things that we don't mean, 956 00:40:07,196 --> 00:40:09,782 especially with... siblings. You know. 957 00:40:09,865 --> 00:40:12,743 She said a lot of pretty intense stuff to me. 958 00:40:13,285 --> 00:40:14,285 Did she? 959 00:40:14,328 --> 00:40:16,080 Well what about you? What'd you say? 960 00:40:16,163 --> 00:40:18,040 Well, I said some stuff, too, but... 961 00:40:18,124 --> 00:40:19,124 I'm angry. 962 00:40:19,166 --> 00:40:20,376 Yeah, well, sometimes... 963 00:40:21,043 --> 00:40:23,295 Sometimes we say things out loud 964 00:40:23,379 --> 00:40:24,619 just to get them off our chest, 965 00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:26,674 to get 'em out of our system, you know? 966 00:40:27,466 --> 00:40:28,592 This is bullshit. 967 00:40:29,009 --> 00:40:30,136 I know. 968 00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:32,721 You just gotta let that happen, you know, 969 00:40:32,805 --> 00:40:34,098 feel what you're feeling. 970 00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:36,725 It's going to be better. It's going to get better. 971 00:40:41,063 --> 00:40:43,899 Hey, truant. You missed a pop quiz in Spanish today. 972 00:40:44,191 --> 00:40:45,609 Un examen sorpresa. 973 00:40:46,068 --> 00:40:48,237 But I'm sure she'll let you make it up, Carolina. 974 00:40:50,614 --> 00:40:51,974 What's the matter? You look upset? 975 00:40:52,241 --> 00:40:53,242 Where are you? 976 00:40:54,368 --> 00:40:55,411 I told Blair. 977 00:40:58,622 --> 00:41:01,709 And she embraced you with love in her heart 978 00:41:01,792 --> 00:41:05,504 and said she supports us fully and is so happy for us, right? 979 00:41:05,588 --> 00:41:06,964 Yeah, it's like you were there. 980 00:41:10,593 --> 00:41:11,427 What happened? 981 00:41:11,510 --> 00:41:13,888 [SIGHS] We were having a huge fight about other things 982 00:41:13,971 --> 00:41:15,139 and then in the middle of it, 983 00:41:15,222 --> 00:41:16,902 I blurted out that you and I were together 984 00:41:16,974 --> 00:41:18,454 like I was spitting acid in her face, 985 00:41:18,517 --> 00:41:19,894 and now we're not speaking, 986 00:41:19,977 --> 00:41:21,977 and I don't know how we're going to make it better. 987 00:41:22,021 --> 00:41:24,648 Oh. Come on. She's your sister. 988 00:41:24,732 --> 00:41:28,152 You two are bizarrely and often upsettingly close. 989 00:41:28,777 --> 00:41:29,904 You'll mend fences. 990 00:41:30,362 --> 00:41:31,530 And now you've also got me. 991 00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:33,741 I've got you? 992 00:41:33,824 --> 00:41:36,494 And I've got... you. 993 00:41:37,703 --> 00:41:39,543 I can't wait to see you at the lock-in tonight. 994 00:41:40,915 --> 00:41:41,916 I was thinking... 995 00:41:42,625 --> 00:41:45,419 Now that Blair knows, maybe it's time everyone knows. 996 00:41:48,130 --> 00:41:49,130 Oh. 997 00:41:49,757 --> 00:41:52,027 And maybe tonight is a good time to let the whole world know 998 00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:54,053 that you and I are us... 999 00:41:54,762 --> 00:41:55,762 or we. 1000 00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:58,265 We are you and me, but together. 1001 00:41:58,724 --> 00:42:00,935 Nothing crazy. We could hold hands or something... 1002 00:42:01,435 --> 00:42:03,562 or sleep side by side. 1003 00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:06,648 I guess... 1004 00:42:07,816 --> 00:42:09,568 sleeping side by side... 1005 00:42:10,611 --> 00:42:11,779 could be nice. 1006 00:42:13,822 --> 00:42:15,491 Yeah, I think it would be. 1007 00:42:16,534 --> 00:42:17,534 [KNOCKING] 1008 00:42:18,077 --> 00:42:19,370 Hold on, be right there. 1009 00:42:19,453 --> 00:42:20,788 Shoot. My mom's knocking. 1010 00:42:20,871 --> 00:42:21,871 I'll talk to you later. 1011 00:42:22,456 --> 00:42:23,499 [DISCONNECT TONE] 1012 00:42:25,668 --> 00:42:26,668 [SIGHS] 1013 00:42:30,130 --> 00:42:31,173 Hey, little Padawan. 1014 00:42:32,841 --> 00:42:33,842 Daddy. 1015 00:42:33,926 --> 00:42:35,678 ["I SEE MY MOTHER" PLAYING] 1016 00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:43,561 ♪ If it sounds right, I'll repeat ♪ 1017 00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:45,479 ♪ If it looks good to me ♪ 1018 00:42:46,021 --> 00:42:48,232 ♪ I will make it mine ♪ 1019 00:42:50,150 --> 00:42:51,235 ♪ For the night ♪ 1020 00:42:51,318 --> 00:42:52,319 Honey! 1021 00:42:52,403 --> 00:42:55,072 This business is for lone wolves. 1022 00:42:55,155 --> 00:42:56,657 You think someone's got your back 1023 00:42:56,740 --> 00:42:58,742 and you turn around and they're stabbing you in it. 1024 00:42:59,743 --> 00:43:01,704 [TERRANCE LAUGHS] 1025 00:43:02,204 --> 00:43:03,289 Bowsie-wowsie! 1026 00:43:03,706 --> 00:43:06,166 Can't even walk, let alone rope a skip. 1027 00:43:07,042 --> 00:43:09,461 Good thing I'm a lone wolf. 1028 00:43:10,504 --> 00:43:13,591 This job is about self-reliance and the purity of competition. 1029 00:43:13,674 --> 00:43:15,509 That's what keeps me turned on. 1030 00:43:15,718 --> 00:43:18,095 Uh, excuse me. Madeas? 1031 00:43:18,387 --> 00:43:20,764 You're in the shot. Thank you. 1032 00:43:20,848 --> 00:43:22,182 Don't worry, Tyler Perry. 1033 00:43:22,266 --> 00:43:23,517 I may be a lone wolf, 1034 00:43:24,143 --> 00:43:25,269 but I'll be your friend. 1035 00:43:26,103 --> 00:43:27,646 [CAR ENGINE STARTS] 1036 00:43:27,730 --> 00:43:28,981 Night night. 1037 00:43:31,900 --> 00:43:32,901 [STOMPS OBJECT] 1038 00:43:33,819 --> 00:43:37,156 ♪ All by myself ♪ 1039 00:43:38,991 --> 00:43:42,328 ♪ Oh what a web I have woven myself in ♪ 1040 00:43:42,411 --> 00:43:45,414 ♪ I'm always chasing after ♪ 1041 00:43:45,914 --> 00:43:47,666 ♪ Somebody else ♪ 1042 00:43:48,334 --> 00:43:51,253 ♪ All by myself ♪ 1043 00:43:53,714 --> 00:43:55,549 ♪ I swallow whiskey ♪ 1044 00:43:55,633 --> 00:43:56,967 ♪ I take to powder ♪ 1045 00:43:57,051 --> 00:43:58,636 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 1046 00:43:59,345 --> 00:44:02,765 ♪ But I am still so, so sad ♪ 1047 00:44:03,682 --> 00:44:04,682 Hello? 1048 00:44:05,184 --> 00:44:07,645 Sterling, it's Garrett. You liked my glasses. 1049 00:44:08,937 --> 00:44:09,980 Garrett, hi. 1050 00:44:10,064 --> 00:44:12,399 Listen, I saw how upset your sister was when you left 1051 00:44:12,483 --> 00:44:15,402 and in the spirit of "you cannot choose your relatives," 1052 00:44:15,486 --> 00:44:16,695 I did some more digging. 1053 00:44:16,779 --> 00:44:19,740 I went back and I looked at all the unsolved crimes 1054 00:44:19,823 --> 00:44:22,201 that fit the time window for the woman you're looking for. 1055 00:44:22,576 --> 00:44:23,576 They know. 1056 00:44:24,745 --> 00:44:26,622 [GARRETT] I found 16 results. 1057 00:44:27,331 --> 00:44:28,916 I'm sending them to you now, 1058 00:44:28,999 --> 00:44:30,125 but you got to promise 1059 00:44:30,209 --> 00:44:32,711 that you will not look at your phone while you are driving. 1060 00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:34,254 Safety first! 1061 00:44:38,050 --> 00:44:41,679 ♪ Oh what a web I have woven myself in ♪ 1062 00:44:41,762 --> 00:44:43,472 ♪ I'm always chasing after ♪ 1063 00:44:44,014 --> 00:44:46,934 ♪ Somebody someone else ♪ 1064 00:44:47,893 --> 00:44:50,145 ♪ All by myself ♪ 1065 00:44:52,690 --> 00:44:54,441 ♪ I see my mother ♪ 1066 00:44:54,525 --> 00:44:56,235 ♪ She's at the window ♪ 1067 00:44:56,318 --> 00:44:58,779 ♪ She's letting down She's letting down ♪ 1068 00:44:58,862 --> 00:45:00,614 ♪ Her black hair ♪ 1069 00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:01,990 ♪ Her black hair ♪ 1070 00:45:02,074 --> 00:45:04,576 ♪ She won't let me in there ♪ 1071 00:45:07,496 --> 00:45:10,916 ♪ I see my mother She's at the window ♪ 1072 00:45:10,999 --> 00:45:16,714 ♪ She's letting down Her long black hair ♪ 1073 00:45:16,797 --> 00:45:19,758 ♪ She won't let me in there ♪ 1074 00:45:22,302 --> 00:45:25,973 ♪ Oh what a web I have woven myself in ♪ 1075 00:45:26,056 --> 00:45:28,267 ♪ I'm always chasing after ♪ 1076 00:45:28,350 --> 00:45:31,437 ♪ Somebody someone else ♪ 1077 00:45:31,979 --> 00:45:34,314 ♪ All by myself ♪ 1078 00:46:06,638 --> 00:46:10,267 ♪ Oh what a web I have woven myself in ♪ 1079 00:46:10,350 --> 00:46:12,936 ♪ I'm always chasing after ♪ 1080 00:46:13,437 --> 00:46:15,731 ♪ Somebody else ♪ 1081 00:46:16,190 --> 00:46:19,610 ♪ All by myself ♪ 1082 00:46:21,361 --> 00:46:25,032 ♪ Oh what a web I have woven myself in ♪ 1083 00:46:25,115 --> 00:46:27,868 ♪ I'm always chasing after ♪ 1084 00:46:28,285 --> 00:46:30,871 ♪ Somebody else ♪ 1085 00:46:31,914 --> 00:46:34,875 ♪ Somebody else ♪ 1086 00:46:35,584 --> 00:46:38,504 ♪ Somebody else ♪ 1087 00:46:39,296 --> 00:46:41,673 ♪ Somebody else ♪ 1088 00:46:41,757 --> 00:46:43,967 ♪ All by myself ♪