(FUNKY, UPBEAT MUSIC)
(TYRES SCREECH, ALEXA GRUNTS)
- Hello! Merry Christmas. Ho ho ho. Here you go.
- Christmas was three weeks ago. - Oh, on behalf of the Postal Service, I apologise.
We were late (!)
SOFTLY: Sorry.
Oh. Hey, oh, no, they're just real estate letters,
so it's not real. It's just not from a real human.
- That's because real humans know how much I despise environmental waste,
like, oh, Christmas cards, tinsel, wrapping paper.
- OK, Mr Grinch. (CHUCKLES)
Hey, how was your Christmas? Were you just sitting there eating your, like, frozen meal?
Was it a lonely one, was it,... dear?
- I had a lovely Christmas with all my friends three weeks ago.
- Oh.
You're supposed to put these in the mailbox. - You're it.
(FUNKY MUSIC)
(MUSIC FADES)
Hello. You look all relaxed and summery.
- Two weeks without phone reception will do that. You get away?
- No. Stayed in town while the rest of Auckland headed out to their holiday homes. And I loved it.
- Yeah, I was in the Coromandel with the rest of Auckland. - Ha.
- Still relaxing, though ― until I got back to work.
Paddy Jones did not have a good Christmas.
Resident of Woodhouse St. Famous Christmas light destination.
- Yeah, I know the one. - Yeah.
Each year, the residents put on quite a show, but Paddy's house always stands out.
On Christmas Eve, Paddy went up on to the roof to fix a faulty Rudolph.
He slipped, and he fell.
- Or was he pushed? - Actually, everything points to it being an accident.
- (SCOFFS) - Paddy was getting on a bit.
The roof was cluttered with cords and transformers.
Plus, there was a bunch of eyewitnesses.
They saw him fall, and he was definitely alone up there.
- So what are you doing here? You just came to show me your tan? - (CHUCKLES WEAKLY)
No, I need you to prove without doubt that it wasn't a murder.
Paddy's wife, Josie, is convinced that the neighbours are responsible.
Luke, he works in marketing, and Heather is a home executive.
They've got two kids. Normal people, as far as we can tell.
- But Josie thinks that they pushed her husband off the roof.
- There's been a little bit of rivalry the past couple of years.
- Rivalry? - Yeah. The Christmas lights.
Paddy and Josie won best display for a few years running
until the competition aspect was cancelled by residents' vote. - Mm-hm.
- It spilled over into the rest of the year ― council complaints, that sort of thing.
- So you want me to break up warring neighbours? Harry, I'm on holiday.
- Josie needs some closure. Look, she lost her man at Christmas.
She's grieving. She's looking for someone to blame.
We've checked every possibility, but I'm worried she might do something silly.
- So I just go there, prove it was an accident,
and I can go back to my summer reading. - Exactly.
Eat, Pray, Love?
I was joking.
See ya. - Bye.
Captions by Sam Baker. Edited by Alex Walker.
Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.
www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2022
- What happened? Someone was lacking in Christmas spirit?
- Nah, somebody fell off a roof, and we just have to prove that it wasn't an accident.
- OK, well, this makes for a change.
Wow. These people are dedicated.
- Yup, they sure are.
That's Paddy, who fell, and his wife, Josie.
And living to the right of them are the McGrahams ―
Heather and Luke and... two little Lukes.
- Uh, these people named their house?
- Eh?
READS: McGraham Mews. Established 2018.
- Who names their house? And what even is a mews?
- Oh, I know.
It's a line of dwellings, usually converted from a stables.
- Someone should tell them that.
- (CHUCKLES) Winner.
Hey. Contact the City Council
and find out what these neighbours were really warring about.
- OK, the big stuff, huh (?)
- Can you pick up those grapes? - RESIGNEDLY: Of course.
(FUNKY MUSIC)
(LOW-KEY JAZZ MUSIC)
- (KNOCKS ON DOOR)
(SLEIGH BELLS JANGLE)
- Paddy and I moved here 40 years ago.
Back then, there was no fences between the properties.
Neighbours were friends.
- So the disagreements didn't start with the Christmas lights?
- (SCOFFS) Do not get me started on the lights.
Look at this.
'A gift,' they said.
'So we could fit in with
'the street's aesthetic,' they said.
'Cream or white, a symphony in beige.'
Trying to make us get rid of everything we've collected over the years ― our decorations!
Did you see my big fat Santa out the front there? - Oh, I did, Josie.
Kind of hard to miss. - Mm.
- Isn't it bad luck to leave your Christmas decorations out past a certain date?
- My husband is dead.
How can my luck possibly get any worse?
- Josie, several eyewitnesses saw him fall. There was no one else up there.
No one could have pushed him. - Paddy had been on that roof a hundred times.
He was a capable man! Not the sort to just... topple off a roof.
- He looks like a wonderful guy.
- He wouldn't hurt a fly.
But do you know what Luke said to him the night before he died? - What?
- He said,
'I hope you fall off that bloody roof.'
Now, are you gonna tell me that's a coincidence?
(INTRIGUING MUSIC)
(KNOCKING) - Hello.
- Hello. What's your name? - Oscar.
- Hi, Oscar. I'm Alexa.
- Oscar! What have I told you about talking to her?
Josie...
- Alexa, actually. You?
- Luke. Yeah.
Um, jump inside, Oskie. - Actually, Luke, uh...
Mind if I just pop over for a quick chat?
- Sorry about the chaos. We're unpacking. We just got in from the Coromandel.
- Yeah, it's embarrassing. (CHUCKLES)
So, I know that the police have talked to all the neighbours, so this won't take a sec.
- Well, we're... we're truly sorry what happened to Paddy, of course, you know, but... (INHALES)
he was a grumpy old guy.
- (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Not that we wanna speak ill of the dead.
- He was grumpy to everyone, or did you two get special treatment?
- Any time we did anything, he'd complain.
We painted the house in grey warbler; he complained. - (CHUCKLES)
- We planted star jasmine; he complained.
And it wasn't just Paddy; it was Josie as well. She was just as bad. - Mm.
Look, I mean, they weren't happy unless there was something to moan about.
Paddy gave himself a heart attack last year.
- How does someone give themselves a heart attack?
- Getting wound up over Hamish and Monique's dogs.
- Oh, Hamish and Monique are the neighbours on the other side? - Yeah, lovely people. Lovely.
But Paddy gave them hell. I mean, this one time, mid-tantrum,
he was going off at them, clutches his chest, and over he goes.
- And even though he'd been yelling abuse, Monique still gave him CPR. Saved his life.
- Then the ambulance carted him off. A week later, he was back at it again.
- And the experience didn't make him any nicer. - It did not. (CHUCKLES)
- Not that you want to speak ill of the dead.
- Look, I wouldn't wish what happened on anybody, but he's a very unpleasant man.
- What about you, Luke? Would you wish ill on the dead?
'I hope you fall off that bloody roof.' - (GROANS)
Yeah, I, um... Look, I shouldn't have said that.
- You know that Josie thinks that one of you two pushed him off the roof. - Of course we know.
Despite there being people there that saw him up there. Alone.
She's mad. - Look, if― if we'd killed the guy,
do you think we'd be standing here openly bagging him? - I dunno.
I don't know you. - Well, we wouldn't lie.
We're straight-up people. Trust me, what you see is what you get.
Eh, babe? - (SIGHS)
- Thanks so much for that. - No worries.
- Gosh, that's bright. - Yeah.
I wanted the warm yellow, but Heather wanted a cool white ― goes with the grey warbler, apparently.
- Sure. (BOTH CHUCKLE)
- Oh, Hamish! Monique. - Oh, hi! - Oh, gidday, Luke. How are you?
- These guys live on the other side of Josie and Paddy. - How do you do?
- This is Alexa. She's from the police. - Well, a friend of the police.
- Oh, hi. - Hi there. - (CHUCKLES)
You know how Josie's going on about someone pushing Paddy off the roof? - Yeah, poor thing.
- Right. What, and you're here because of that? Do you think there's something in it?
- Well, I'm reserving judgement. - Right.
- Well, we can all save her the time, though, right?
She's mad as a cut snake. - Oh, come on, mate. - Well, she has gone a bit... crazy.
She doesn't want anyone's help. I started a meal train for her,
you know, where people volunteer to provide dinner, and the neighbours really rallied.
- Yeah, but then Heather saw her pouring a beautiful vegan green curry into a wheelie bin...
- (SCOFFS) - ...like it was... like it was poison or something.
- Yeah, not good. Mm.
- Hey, I noticed that you guys have got security cameras in front and back.
Do you think they captured any images from the night that Paddy died? - Oh, yeah, maybe.
- We hardly bother checking them, cos the dogs set them off quite a bit. (CHUCKLES)
- But the data's sent to my cloud, so, I mean, you can have a look at it if you want.
- I'd love that. Now? - Yeah. Yeah, come on through. - Yeah, sure. Cool.
- Great. - Cool.
- Nice to meet you, Luke. - Yeah. Like― Oh, actually, um...
Here, take that. If you need anything.
- Thanks. - OK.
- We definitely had our moments with Paddy.
- Nothing like Luke and Heather, though.
- Well, let's just say he wasn't much of a dog lover.
- Don't tell me he gave you a hard time about them. - Oh, every single day.
- The little rascal used to get into his yard, and he used to, you know, dig underneath.
- Only a couple times, though, babe. - Oh, but Paddy used to get so wound up.
- Yeah, I heard he had a heart attack, like, right in front of you. - Mm-hm.
- Yeah. Lucky Monnie was there. - Oh, well, it was instinct, really. My training kickedin.
Now, Alexa, I am making cocktails. Would you like a little dirty martini?
- I'm good. - OK.
- Ah. Here we are. December 24th.
It buzzed about a half dozen times, so you might be able to find something on there.
- Can you airdrop that to me? - Uh, yes. Well, this computer's a bit ancient for that.
- I think you mean you're the ancient one, babe, who doesn't know how to work it. (LAUGHS)
- Do you want me to email it to you? - That would be awesome. - Great.
- Really appreciate your help. - Oh, anything to keep the peace. (EMAIL WHOOSHES)
Look, uh, the old boy fell off the roof. That's it. You know?
If you can convince Josie of that, there'd be a lot of grateful people out there.
(DOOR SLAMS SHUT) - So, I found a couple of things in the council records.
- Madison. Someone put an ugly collar on my cat.
- (MIAOWS) - An application from Luke and Heather
to build a new carport two years ago. - I didn't see no carport.
Madison, the collar. - Yeah, that'll be because the building consent was turned down.
Complaints from neighbours. - Our friends Paddy and Josie.
- (MIAOWS) - Collar!
Any ideas? - It was on sale, and I couldn't resist.
- It's Christmas-themed. - It's red and green. - With snowflakes!
- It's cute, though, right? - No, not cute.
You may notice that the Christmas tree which you installed in December was taken down January1st,
cos I don't like it when seasons linger, and I don't like it when they start too early.
Why can we not just live?
Why does everything have to be an occasion? (CELL PHONE PINGS)
Ooh, hey. Turn on the TV.
This is the security camera footage from the other neighbours, Hamish and Monique.
- Yeah, between August and November,
Paddy called the noise control on them seven times ― dogs barking.
(DOGS YAP ON TV) - Mm-hm. Dogs.
Dogs. Dogs.
(RATTLING ON TV, MUFFLED YELL)
(GASPS) That's the sound of Paddy hitting the ground.
(RATTLING)
10.15 exactly, just like the police report said.
- Poor guy. - Let's go to the front view.
Here is just before the fall. Did you see that?
- See what? - To the side, at the house where Luke and Heather live,
the light changes.
Top middle. There it is again, just over two hours later.
Someone leaving the house and tripping the sensor line.
- Luke or Heather?
- Picking him.
But where would he be going at that time of night?
(MUSIC BUILDS)
(GROOVY MUSIC)
- We were just having a coffee. Did you want one?
- Um, no, thank you. I just...
Oh, Monique. Hello.
- Hello.
- Uh, this won't take long. I just wanna ask a couple of questions.
- Should we catch up later? - Well, I can stay if you want.
- Oh, OK. Well,
let's see. Um...
So, 24th of December, where was Luke?
- Here, with me,...
watching a silly Christmas movie, after which we went to bed.
We were both fast asleep when Paddy fell off the roof.
- At 10.15? Gosh, that must have been an early night or a very short film.
So nobody came to visit about 10.10, leaving shortly before 1.00?
- As I said, we were in bed.
- Sorry. This is just feeling a little bit like they're still being harassed even after Paddy's gone.
- No, just looking for answers.
- Well, I think your answer is that Josie needs some serious grief counselling.
- And my husband and I need to be left alone.
- Fair enough.
(LAID-BACK MUSIC)
- Hello. Come on through. Come on through.
- Crikey! What do you guys do here? Ooh, Spacies!
- Ah, like, digital agency, PR, you know. Influencers, content creators, artists.
- Oh! (GROANS) - It's good fun, huh?
- Oh, I was always bad at Spacies. It makes me nervous. OK.
So... - So.
- Where were you the night that Paddy died?
- Wow. That's a... Sounds a lot like, 'Did you kill the guy?'
- No, cos if I wanted to ask that, I'd just ask that.
I just wanna know if you were at home. - Right.
Well, I actually― I don't, uh... I don't have to tell you my personal business, so...
- No, no, you don't have to tell me. But, you know, if you want Josie to stop with the accusations,
let's just clear this up. - (CLEARS THROAT) Josie. Right.
I think you're giving her way too much credit. (CELL PHONE BUZZES)
Yeah. And I'm actually really busy, so...
- No, no. If you need to get that other phone, wherever it is, then please do.
I have time. - And I have a big campaign on.
So if you want to humour that old bat, that's fine with me.
But don't ever come to my office again.
- Oh. - Do you want me to show you out? - No, no.
- Yeah. - I know the way. - OK.
(CURIOUS MUSIC)
Is that right?
Yeah, well...
(GROOVY MUSIC)
- Town was empty this time last week.
Reuben! Where the hell did all these people come from, and why don't they go back there?
- (CLEARS THROAT) Well, I kinda like having customers. - Coffee, please.
(CELL PHONE TRILLS)
- Hey, Beth. Happy New Year.
- The year is weeks old. You can stop saying that already.
- Oh, it's just Alexa. She's got a thing.
Yeah. Post-Chrissy slump, I reckon.
- You know, Luke's got a second phone. I need to get my hands on it somehow.
- Oi, Beth? You wanna steal a phone? - Ooh, that's a great idea.
Get her to pose as a client. Go and see Luke and look for an opportunity to swipe it.
- Did you get that?
What kind of client? - I dunno. Like, a content creator or an influencer,
whatever kind of people Luke sees. Madison will text you the address.
- And what are we doing? - Well, you're going to be my moral support.
- For what? - For my thing. You know how the lingering seasons make me queasy?
- You OK up there? - Mm-hm.
- You know, you could've sent me up. (CHUCKLES WEAKLY)
- (SIGHS)
Hey.
OK. Can you see me?
- Yes.
- Ouch. (GRUNTS, WINCES) Ouch.
OK. (PANTS)
Can you see me now?
- Still yes. There's no way anyone else was up there with him.
- (SCOFFS) Blast.
(SIGHS)
(DOG YAPS)
- Hi.
Come on, you two. (DOGS PANT)
- Are you sure you don't need me to come up?
- Nah, I think you'd have way too much fun.
(SHUTTER CLICKS)
- I bet this is punishment for the Christmas-themed collar.
(DOOR CLATTERS SHUT) - Oh. Did you find something?
- No, nothing yet. - Well, you must have a theory. Why else would you be up there?
- Just checking that the police haven't missed anything.
- Well, of course they missed something.
They missed the fact that my husband was murdered,
and the people who did it are sitting right next door.
- This is cool. - Oh. Yeah.
Winners of the People's Choice Best Display. We won that every year till they cancelled the voting in 2019.
The neighbours thought it wasn't in the spirit of Christmas.
Sore losers, more like.
- I wish I'd seen your display at night. - You still can.
I turn it on every evening in Paddy's honour,
and I will keep doing it until his killers are brought to justice.
- Look, if anyone can do that, Alexa can.
- Josie, tell me about Paddy's heart complaint.
- It was arrhythmia, but it wasn't his ticker that made him fall. He had a pacemaker.
That and the pills kept him healthier than you or me.
- And the coroner said the cause of death was the fall, not a heart attack, right?
- Exactly.
(FUNKY MUSIC)
- Ta-da.
- Mm. And what am I looking at?
- A business proposal. I designed an app for Beth to pitch to Luke tomorrow.
- Well, this looks extremely stupid.
I think Luke will love it. - Thank you.
You know, if that app existed, you would definitely download it, Alexa. - Oh, I don't think so.
- Hey, I'm going to check out Josie's lights. You wanna come? - No, thank you.
Chowder and I have things to discuss. - OK. Bye.
- An app which sends fake messages from your cat to an owner when they're away.
Who would want a thing like that, Chowder? - (PURRS)
- I mean, what kind of a weirdo wants messages from their pussycat?
(INHALES) Who's a pussycat?
(GROOVY MUSIC)
(CELL PHONE TRILLS) (GROANS)
Hello.
- MADISON ON PHONE: Hi. So, I'm here checking out Josie's light display, and, um...
- And? - And there's something you need to see.
- HEATHER: You're joking.
- JOSIE: Oh, I'm next, am I? - LUKE: Seriously, take a hint. It's time for you to go.
- Ooh, I better lock my doors. - Go to a home or something. You're nuts. Completely nuts.
- Well, I don't regret it. And he can sue me. I don't give a flying...
toss. - Josie.
You can't keep doing this. - Well, there's nothing else to do.
There's nobody to talk to, cook for, have a glass of wine with.
I thought we'd go down together.
You know, there's people you read about who die within days or hours of each other.
I just never expected to be living alone.
And don't tell me to get a cat.
- I wouldn't dare. Cats are jerks.
- Well, I quite like them, actually, but it wouldn't be fair on the thing,
not with those hairy rodents in collars across the fence.
- Look, Josie, I know it's hard. All right? And...
Now, I hardly ever do this for people. Well, not for anyone, actually.
But if you ever find that you're about to do something that's gonna land you in a jailcell,
I want you to call me. All right?
And we will just talk rubbish until the urge for revenge goes away. - Well, you are a brave woman.
You might be getting a lot of phone calls.
- Well, I'd rather that than you wind up on the end of legal proceedings.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Luke and Heather are starting legal proceedings. - Ugh!
Honestly. - They're allowed to be a little bit peeved.
- (SIGHS) Luke is not an innocent victim in all of this. He's hiding something.
- The guy's a bit of a prat, but do you really think he'd kill someone over Christmas decorations?
- I don't think it's that.
But I've got another theory, which I'm hoping to confirm right about now.
- Um, what? Soda? - Ooh, yes, please. - Yeah, OK.
So, um,... I loved your prop.
- You did? - Yeah, it's a really cool idea for an app.
I mean, it's on point, you know? (CHUCKLES) Can you just imagine the crazy old cat ladies?
They are gonna lap this up. - Oh.
- And you know what that means, right?
- All right!
Oh my― Oh my God! Oh my God. - Oh―
Whoa! - Can you―
- Oh my God. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) I'm so sorry about that. - Nah, nah.
- Um... - Someone must've shaken it up. It's just―
- Who would do that? - You know, it's― it's not your fault, Beth. I'll just...
I'll grab a cloth, yeah? Lily! - (GROANS)
It's a really terrible first impression.
I'm really embarrassed.
(CURIOUS MUSIC)
- Wow. - Um, actually... You know what? I don't think I'm ready.
Mm. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) - What? Sorry, what? You're not ready? What do you mean?
- I think the soda was a sign. I don't think― I don't think the app is ready,
and I'm really sorry about this, but, hey, thank you!
- I just said it's money! Don't worry about the s―
- Beth came through. Luke's phone. Both of them.
- She didn't just swipe the burner phone? - She didn't know which it was.
Luke's got this vintage, retro vibe going, and both his phones are pretty alike.
- I love it. Oh, the guy calls the same number over and over again. He makes it too easy forus.
So, it looks like Luke really missed his lover while he was away at the beach with his family.
What do you suppose his wife was doing when he sent this?
- Oh. Classy (!)
- OK, wait. Here's another one.
Here we go. (READS) 'I think your neighbour saw us.'
- Meaning Paddy? - Meaning Paddy. Does that smell like a motive to you? Hm.
- Ooh. Don't look now, but...
- Oh God. You didn't disable the location app?
- I didn't think phones this old would even have that ability.
- OK, well, just be cool, fool.
- Alexa, what are you doing here? - Luke!
This is my coffee house. I live here.
- With my phones? - Oh, your phones. Yeah. (CHUCKLES) Here you go.
- So you sent her, the girl with that cat app.
You know, I don't care if they're your mates. I'm calling the cops.
Comes into my office, sprays soda all over me and all over my desk, and then she steals my phones.
- Luke, let's just take a walk, you and me.
You've really got a lot to learn about having an affair and not getting caught, don't ya?
- She's a brand manager. - And she comes to Auckland once a week.
- How do you know that? - Well, your phone blows up every Thursday.
You're not very good at this, Luke, are ya? - It's none of your business.
And it certainly has nothing to do with that old bat next door.
- Well, considering you and your mistress were talking about
how that old bat next door's now-deceased husband saw you together,
well, yeah, I think it's my business.
- Hold on. You th... (CHUCKLES)
Did you think I did something cos I wanted to stop him telling anyone?
- Well, did ya? - No.
No!
I don't even know if he did see us.
Caroline was dropping me at the top of the street one night,
and he just happened to be coming home from the grocery store or something.
- Did he say anything to you about it ever? - No. Nothing came of it.
OK. And... (SCOFFS)
I... I don't want Heather finding out. She doesn't know, and I don't want her finding out.
- So tell me this ― where was your girlfriend the night Paddy died? - With me.
Hotel down by the Viaduct. - On Christmas Eve?
- I've got the receipt. - Well, don't let your wife find that.
- What do you want, Alexa?
- Are you gonna tell Luke's wife that he's sleeping with his workmate?
- No, but he's about to drop the legal proceedings against Josie, so... win-win.
Yeah, Heather told me that Luke was at home with her the night that Paddy died, watching TV.
Luke admitted that he's getting a bit of rumpty-pumpty at the local hotel, so...
- So she did lie. What, to give Luke an alibi?
- Or to give herself one.
(FUNKY MUSIC)
- This is getting a bit over the top, isn't it?
- Why'd you lie for your husband?
You said that Luke was home with you that night.
Silly Christmas movie, early night.
That wasn't true.
- Fine. Luke wasn't home with me that night.
But he wasn't on next door's roof either. - So you know.
- About the affair.
Some things are more important ― keeping the family together,
not throwing everything away for a stupid... phase.
My boys deserve a family.
- So...
you were home on your own that night? - I was home with my boys.
They were in bed, and I didn't go anywhere.
I wouldn't leave them alone in the house. Not even for a minute.
- She says she was home alone all night.
- She could have popped out while the kids were sleeping
and while her husband was out doing whatever he was doing. - Having his early mid-life crisis.
- So she could've. Might've.
Or, as Harry says, 'Maybe Paddy just slipped and fell off the roof.'
- Meh, he doesn't believe that. (CELL PHONE TRILLS)
Hello, Alexa speaking. - Alexa. There's someone on my roof.
- Are you sure? - Somebody's up there. I can hear them.
I'm gonna go out there.
So help me God, I'm gonna get Paddy's cricket bat, and I'm gonna...
- Josie, do not do that. Just stay where you are. I'll be there as soon as I can.
- (SIGHS) It's hard enough living without Paddy.
Now all this going on.
- I know. There you go. Have a hot choccy.
Go on.
Gets better, you know.
I mean, you'll always miss him, but eventually, the memories stop hurting your heart,
and they just make you smile.
So, anyway, I've had a really good look around, and I don't see anyone.
But if you're worried, I can get the canine unit from the police
to come and make sure no one's hanging around. - There is no point.
They're long gone. Back next door to their designer couch. - (CHUCKLES)
- Look, thanks for coming, Alexa, but... I'm fine.
- All right. Just so long as you don't go over there with a cricket bat.
- What have I got to lose?
- Well, quite a lot, actually.
I mean, this house ― Paddy's house, his castle.
If those people get all litigious on you, there'll be legal fees, there'll be fines.
I don't think you can afford to take them on ― not financially, not emotionally.
So, Josie, you have a really good sleep tonight, all right?
(MUGS CLINK)
SOFTLY: I got this.
(SLURPS QUIETLY)
(FUNKY MUSIC)
Someone was up on Josie's roof. What on earth were they doing there?
Hello?
- Sorry, it's Monique's Dogstagram ― Monique who lives next door to Josie.
- Oh, her with the two yapping mutts. - Look, they may yap, but these dogs have a lot of followers.
I checked out the analytics, and Monique is making major cash,
even before the big sponsorship deal.
- Something was up on that roof which made Paddy fall.
Maybe that's what our late-night roof walker was doing. - Huh?
- Removing evidence.
Whatever that evidence was.
- JOSIE: Get out of it, you miserable creatures!
Go on. Go. - MONIQUE: Oi!
Don't you shout at my babies. - They were on my property.
- Careful, Josie. You don't wanna give yourself a heart attack.
Come on, babies. Come on. Come on, darling.
Leave that miserable old witch alone.
That's it, girls. Come on, darling. - (SIGHS)
- Good girls.
- Where did you go, little fella?
Do you know what this is? - Mm. No.
Paddy did all the electrics.
Do you think it had something to do with his fall? - I dunno.
But it's not there any more. I think someone came and took it down. - The intruder from lastnight?
- Yeah. - So now they're stealing our decorations, our electronics.
I wouldn't put it past them.
- Hey, I heard Monique yelling at you before. - I'm used to it.
- 'Don't have a heart attack.' It's pretty cruel. - Hm. Well, I've heard worse.
That little cow doesn't bother me.
- So, tell me about Paddy's pacemaker.
- It was a lifesaver, literally.
- Did it keep a digital record like some of them do? - It did.
Downloaded all the data to our computer.
We used to joke the computer always knew when something had got his heart racing.
- (CHUCKLES)
Did you keep that data?
- The record of my husband's heart beating? I'm not likely to throw that away.
- So if Paddy had a heart attack in July, that means you've got, like, six months of data.
- From the new one, yeah.
- The new one?
- Paddy got his first pacemaker eight years ago, but then he had to have it replaced.
- Because? - It malfunctioned.
That's what caused the heart attack.
- The heart attack he had when he was fighting with Hamish and Monique about their dogs?
- Yeah.
(CURIOUS MUSIC)
- So, the police took a look at these, but they decided there was nothing unusual
in a pacemaker which failed when its owner died in a fall.
- It's doing its thing. Beat, beat, beat until December 24.
And then the pacemaker stopped at 10.14 when Paddy hit the ground.
- But in the security camera footage from next door, we hear Paddy fall at 10.15 on the dot.
- So his heart failed, and then he fell?
- His pacemaker failed.
- So it is an accident. - He had it replaced six months ago.
One pacemaker malfunctioning ― well, that looks like an accident.
Two, it starts to look a little bit like murder. (CELL PHONE PINGS)
- New post from Bianca and Faye.
- Oh, Monique's dogs are pinging you? - I subscribed, but in my defence, they are super cute.
And you've got to admire her ― making a career out of what she loves.
- Well, she could have stayed in school.
- Hey, don't judge a book by its cover. Monique was a registered nurse.
- Give me a look at that. - I knew you couldn't resist. It's OK. We call it 'hate scrolling'.
- Oh. (GASPS) Babies on home detention.
- Yes, and you will note ― different collars for different seasons, so it totally is a thing.
- Send me that, would you?
- Am I missing something? - I think that we have been looking over the wrong fence.
(RELAXED MUSIC)
(KNOCKS ON DOOR) (DOGS YAP)
- HAMISH: Hey! Hold the dogs.
Oh, hello again. - Hi, Hamish. Got a sec?
- Sure.
So...
What's this all about? Not more drama with crazy old Josie, is it?
- Well, it's more about proving how crazy old Josie isn't.
You see, she was right about one thing ―
someone did deliberately cause her husband to fall off that roof.
What she was wrong about was who. - Not sure what you're trying to say.
- Well, let's face it. Nobody liked Paddy. Or Josie.
But for you guys, it was all about Bianca and Faye
and how they used to tunnel under that fence to get to Paddy and Josie's property.
- Well, we tried to, you know, fix the problem a million times. - Yeah, you did.
You, uh... bought
one of these.
Gives the dogs a little shock every time they try to get past it, right?
I mean, it's like an invisible electric fence, isn't it? - And?
- And you stopped using yours. How come?
- Well, Monique thought it was cruel. - It is cruel.
Poor babies cried every time they went near it. - Oh, yeah.
- Which upset Paddy even more. I mean, we couldn't win.
- And he got so wound up, he had a heart attack.
(MUFFLED YELLING, DOGS YAPP)
- (CHUCKLES) I thought― I thought we told you all that. - Yeah.
But it wasn't a heart attack because he got wound up.
It was his pacemaker.
Did you know that these electric pet fence systems,
they can interfere with pacemakers? They can cause them to glitch. - No.
- Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's documented.
And anyone with medical training would know that.
That first heart attack ― that's how you got the idea, wasn't it, Monique?
- Excuse me. Don't come in here and talk to my wife like that.
- 24th of December. You pop that dog fence up on the roof.
(TENSE MUSIC)
And then you unplugged the reindeer knowing that Paddy would just have to get up there and fix it.
And when he did, well, that put Paddy and his new pacemaker right next to the fence again!
Oh, it malfunctioned.
And then bam! He has a heart attack. And then bam! He falls off the roof.
Eyewitnesses and all.
- (SPEAKS INAUDIBLY)
And you didn't have to do anything but sit back and watch the police deem it an accident.
Didn't even have to get that fence down. You just left it up there in plain view.
Till I came along, and then, phew! You had a little panic,
got up there in the night and took it back down again.
- You need to stop, OK? This is outrageous.
- A man's life is less important than those mutts.
- Those are my babies.
My children. And that mean old prick threatened them.
He said he was gonna throw poisoned meat over the fence. - Monnie?
- He did, Hamish. You heard him, babe. Remember? - Yes.
He didn't mean it, and I told you that at the time.
- They are everything to me. Everything.
- And you'd do everything to protect them, everything to protect that sponsorship deal.
- Don't you say that.
It was never about the money. - Oh my God, Monique.
- WHISPERS: This is my family.
It's my family.
Babe, I did this for us. - Don't touch me. Please.
- Well...
Say goodbye to your fur babies, Monique. - (EXHALES)
(PENSIVE MUSIC)
- I know, I know. - Watch out for the dogs.
Vicious.
(FUNKY MUSIC)
- Feliz Navidad.
- It's February. - Yeah, I know.
I'm just a little late with the festive wishes. Go on! It's the good stuff.
- Who'd you steal it from? - Ooh. Reow!
Actually, I had three interviews with a boutique winery owner out west.
He was looking for someone to take care of his private gardens.
- Really? - Yeah. Yeah, he asked me to put a putting green
down the side of his place, tropical gardens around the pool, big Palm Springs vibe out front.
Thought it looked amazing, if I do say so myself. - Well, that's great.
- Yeah. - Congratulations.
- I didn't get the job. - Eh?
- Yeah, nah. - Wait, you did this guy's landscaping for free, and―
- Yeah, all right. - Oh, he scammed you! - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Got a little bit scammed, OK? - The con man gets conned.
What goes around comes around, huh? - Yeah, and around again,
cos I noticed he'd never locked the door to his wine cellar, so, yeahhh.
- Merry Christmas to me. - I thought we could crack it open.
- Nah. We've given up drinking. - Eh?
- But it'll make an excellent re-gift.
- This is very nice.
- Very expensive too. - Ooh, well, I'll save it for best.
He is lovely, your boyfriend.
- Oh, he's just my coffee guy. - Oh, yeah? And he's helping out today because...?
- Because I asked him nicely. - Mm-hm.
- LUKE: Hey. Um...
Just wanted to see if you needed a hand. - No, I don't.
Um... No, thank you.
Oh, and please pass on my thanks to Heather for the rum balls she sent over.
- Oh, the bliss balls. Yeah.
No rum, just activated almonds, cashews, dates, little bit of Himalayan sea salt.
Yeah. I will.
- Lovely.
No wonder they tasted like sawdust. - (CHUCKLES)
- Hiya! - Come on, Madison. I'll pop the kettle on.
We can have a toast to my Paddy.
- Oh, is that what I think it is? - Easter eggs.
- In the shops already? - Everywhere.
- What the hell is wrong with people? We've got Christmas songs in October, Easter eggs in Feb―
- You want one?
- (SIGHS)
Look, it's not that I don't like them. - Oh.
- It's just that I just don't wanna be bullied into buying stuff... - (LAUGHS) Bullied?
- ...at any particular― Yeah. - 'Bullied into it'?
- It's like Valentine's Day. I hate Valentine's Day. That really rubs me up the wrong way.
- (CHUCKLES)
- HARRY: Leah Howell ― a florist with a severe bee allergy.
She got stung walking down the aisle of her own wedding.
- Did you have a planner on your big day?
- Leah was fiancee number four?
Five?!
- Good to see Tom's moving on at his usual speed.
- I miss Leah so much.
- The groom thinks his father did what?
Trained a bee to assassinate the bride?
- Not sure what it is you're asking, Ms Crowe.
- You're lucky it's too late to question you, little fella.
- This isn't what I thought you meant by underdressed.
- And if anyone sees us, just act inconspicuous.