1 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:04,120 What have we got behind us here, Luke? What have we got? 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,160 What haven't we got probably? So, what, are these for...? 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:06,480 What haven't we got probably? So, what, are these for...? 4 00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:08,520 Premier League nightly wins. Is that from this year? 5 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:09,360 Premier League nightly wins. Is that from this year? 6 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,120 Probably this year or last year. 7 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:13,160 Yeah. How many did you get, five this year? Phwoar, yeah. 8 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,080 Yeah. How many did you get, five this year? Phwoar, yeah. 9 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,120 Five, and you get a nice bonus as well, don't you, 10 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:16,400 Five, and you get a nice bonus as well, don't you, 11 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:17,560 for winning the night? Ooh... 12 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,600 We can all do the maths, Luke. What's that, five times...? 13 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:19,880 We can all do the maths, Luke. What's that, five times...? 14 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,720 You're doing all right. 15 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,720 Nice. Some nice family photos. 16 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,760 But you can do all this and you can't pass your driving theory. 17 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:26,600 But you can do all this and you can't pass your driving theory. 18 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:28,640 This programme contains strong language, adult content and scenes of nudity 19 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,680 This programme contains strong language, adult content and scenes of nudity 20 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,720 This programme contains strong language, adult content and scenes of nudity 21 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:33,120 This programme contains strong language, adult content and scenes of nudity 22 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:34,240 This is what we've tuned in for. 23 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:35,800 Munya, look at this! I can't! 24 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:36,920 Oh! 25 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,120 THEY LAUGH 26 00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:39,880 It's pretty racy telly, isn't it? 27 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,160 Oh. Oh! 28 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,320 What?! 29 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,080 Oh, no! Oh, this is awful! 30 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:45,320 Crying? 31 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:46,480 HE LAUGHS 32 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,120 Oh.Oh! 33 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,160 Oh, I'm happy. Yeah. That makes me happy. 34 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:50,440 Oh, I'm happy. Yeah. That makes me happy. 35 00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:52,240 This is a bit you.My people. 36 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:54,280 Fist bump me! Wahey!Wahey! 37 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:54,520 Fist bump me! Wahey!Wahey! 38 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,040 We've all got an undercarriage. 39 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,080 We don't... Grow up! 40 00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:58,720 We don't... Grow up! 41 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:00,760 In the summer of 2025, we enjoyed lots of great telly. 42 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,800 In the summer of 2025, we enjoyed lots of great telly. 43 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:03,960 In the summer of 2025, we enjoyed lots of great telly. 44 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:06,920 Singletons were full of hope 45 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,960 as they looked for love abroad on Discovery Plus. 46 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:09,880 as they looked for love abroad on Discovery Plus. 47 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,920 {\an8}People probably say I'm a people pleaser. 48 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:12,200 {\an8}People probably say I'm a people pleaser. 49 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,200 I like to say yes, not no. 50 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,240 And I have like a resting happy face. 51 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:16,720 And I have like a resting happy face. 52 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,080 A resting happy face. 53 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,120 I think that would annoy me quite quick if someone was like this. 54 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:21,480 I think that would annoy me quite quick if someone was like this. 55 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,400 Yeah, you... You're one of those people 56 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,440 that frown upon people's happiness. 57 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:25,840 that frown upon people's happiness. 58 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,360 No, I don't! 59 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,400 You are. Like, that's such an amazing trait to have. 60 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:30,760 You are. Like, that's such an amazing trait to have. 61 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,400 And you're like, oh, 62 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,440 you dumped someone because they're happy. Happy. 63 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:34,840 you dumped someone because they're happy. Happy. 64 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,920 The hardest working man in pop was on his travels on ITV. 65 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,960 The hardest working man in pop was on his travels on ITV. 66 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:41,240 The hardest working man in pop was on his travels on ITV. 67 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,240 I'm Gary Barlow from Take That. 68 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,280 There's a big audience out there and we're ready. 69 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:46,880 There's a big audience out there and we're ready. 70 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,920 And we're on a huge world tour. 71 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:49,160 And we're on a huge world tour. 72 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:50,440 I saw Jason Orange every day 73 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,360 and I've got to tell you this, the truth, no-one sees him 74 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:53,800 and everyone's looking for him on Reddit. 75 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,440 This is true. And he did like a Traitors... 76 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,040 When he recognised... 77 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,080 When he realised I'd recognised him, I was in Muswell Hill. 78 00:01:59,120 --> 00:01:59,360 When he realised I'd recognised him, I was in Muswell Hill. 79 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:00,320 This is God's honest truth. 80 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,360 I was like, "That's Jason Orange." And he went like this... 81 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:03,320 I was like, "That's Jason Orange." And he went like this... 82 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,360 What? He hid? ..with his hood and sort of smiled and scurried off. 83 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,120 What? He hid? ..with his hood and sort of smiled and scurried off. 84 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,160 And then I googled it and no-one knows where he is. 85 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:08,600 And then I googled it and no-one knows where he is. 86 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,360 What did you Google? "Where's Jason Orange?" 87 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:12,680 What did you Google? "Where's Jason Orange?" 88 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,480 "Jason Orange. What's he been up to? 89 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,040 "Does he live in Muswell Hill?" 90 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,280 And the bed hopping began on ITV2. 91 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,360 And the bed hopping began on ITV2. 92 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,400 Is everyone happy now in their new couples? 93 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:22,960 Is everyone happy now in their new couples? 94 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,000 I don't even feel like I need to say too much, like. 95 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:25,320 I don't even feel like I need to say too much, like. 96 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,160 I am glad, though, that I'm not in the dating game any more. 97 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,880 I am glad, though, that I'm not in the dating game any more. 98 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:32,520 And to be clear, I never was. 99 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,240 How did you meet your missus? 100 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,280 Well, I did the classic move of working with her for a year. 101 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:37,760 Well, I did the classic move of working with her for a year. 102 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,480 OK. Player! 103 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:41,960 He got game. 104 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,280 In Essex... 105 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,320 They're lovely crisps, them. I like them. 106 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:52,880 They're lovely crisps, them. I like them. 107 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:54,200 They're Kettle Chips. 108 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,000 The Kettle ones. They're nice. 109 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,680 They cook 'em in a kettle. 110 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,720 ..Rylan and his mum Linda. 111 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:00,280 ..Rylan and his mum Linda. 112 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:01,720 So you know like your kettle, 113 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,760 for example, you could slice up potato... 114 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,800 Right, this ain't a wind-up? I'm telling you now, Mum, 115 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:06,120 Right, this ain't a wind-up? I'm telling you now, Mum, 116 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,720 you slice... That's why they're called Kettle Chips! 117 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:08,800 Oh, I'm going to try, then. 118 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,840 You slice up potato, put it in... Yeah. ..and... 119 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:11,120 You slice up potato, put it in... Yeah. ..and... 120 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,160 You're winding me up, aren't you? 121 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:13,840 You're winding me up, aren't you? 122 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,480 Oh, was that your bad arm? Sorry. 123 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:18,200 Oh, was that your bad arm? Sorry. 124 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,240 Do you know what... It was only when you said, "I'm going to try it," 125 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:21,680 Do you know what... It was only when you said, "I'm going to try it," 126 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,400 I thought, "You better ... not." 127 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,200 You'll burn the house down. 128 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:27,240 In June, it was time to find out 129 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:27,520 In June, it was time to find out 130 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,560 how clever some famous faces were on ITV. 131 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:30,640 how clever some famous faces were on ITV. 132 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,680 I'm actually getting a little bit hot now, thinking about the fact 133 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,000 I'm actually getting a little bit hot now, thinking about the fact 134 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,800 we're going to have to try and answer this question, 135 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,760 and I think you're going to get it, and I'm not, 136 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,800 because The 1% Club is not my comfort zone. 137 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:40,280 because The 1% Club is not my comfort zone. 138 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,320 How would you say your general knowledge is? 139 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:42,600 How would you say your general knowledge is? 140 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,040 Not good. 141 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:46,080 No. I'll be honest, that was the answer I was expecting. Yep. 142 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:46,360 No. I'll be honest, that was the answer I was expecting. Yep. 143 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,000 And you got the right answer. 144 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:49,880 You just have no general knowledge. 145 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:51,360 Cos you don't watch the news. 146 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,400 I do watch the news. Do you? Yeah. 147 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:54,080 I do watch the news. Do you? Yeah. 148 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,120 I always swipe through the, like, little side... 149 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:56,400 I always swipe through the, like, little side... 150 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:57,960 I don't mean the news on your phone! 151 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,000 I mean on the TV. Yeah, I watch you! 152 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:00,240 I mean on the TV. Yeah, I watch you! 153 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,640 Do you? When Mum puts it on. 154 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:02,880 HE SCOFFS 155 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,920 Tonight, our contestants are all professional footballers 156 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:05,440 Tonight, our contestants are all professional footballers 157 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,480 and celebrities who support Soccer Aid. 158 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:07,800 and celebrities who support Soccer Aid. 159 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,840 Why haven't they asked me to play in Soccer Aid? 160 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:10,720 Why haven't they asked me to play in Soccer Aid? 161 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,760 Oh, I hate it when they do celebrity versions of stuff. 162 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,280 Oh, I hate it when they do celebrity versions of stuff. 163 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,320 It's never as good as just the normal one. 164 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:17,080 It's never as good as just the normal one. 165 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,720 I normally do quite all right on this. 166 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,320 You're good at any quiz, you are. 167 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,000 It's time for our first question. 168 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,800 All right, get ready, lock in. I'm going to lock in. Lock in. 169 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:32,120 All right, get ready, lock in. I'm going to lock in. Lock in. 170 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,160 90%, this is always easy. This is like, "What day is it?" 171 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,040 90%, this is always easy. This is like, "What day is it?" 172 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,560 Ooh, I like Jill Scott. I do. 173 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:42,760 Ooh, I like Jill Scott. I do. 174 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,720 Easily the ear. 175 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:48,680 Earring, B. Yeah. Earring, B. 176 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,400 Wait, the eye. No, it's not the eye. 177 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,440 No, the earring. What, doesn't match? Doesn't match. 178 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:53,040 No, the earring. What, doesn't match? Doesn't match. 179 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,800 No, I think there's an extra wrinkle there and there shouldn't be. 180 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:57,480 No, I think there's an extra wrinkle there and there shouldn't be. 181 00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,520 But then it... No, cos of her mouth... 182 00:04:59,560 --> 00:04:59,840 But then it... No, cos of her mouth... 183 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,880 Oh, my God. I think her eye is OK. The mouth isn't. 184 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:02,360 Oh, my God. I think her eye is OK. The mouth isn't. 185 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,520 I think it's the eyebrow. 186 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,560 No, it's B. It's A. 187 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:05,800 No, it's B. It's A. 188 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:06,800 It's B! 189 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,360 Nobody should get this wrong. 190 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,320 We can't be out first one. 191 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:13,560 See that's the thing as well, 192 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,480 they always make it easy for celebrities 193 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,480 cos yous are all thick. 194 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,040 I've even forgot what we did. 195 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,840 Yeah, we was naming... 196 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,480 B, did we do? Yeah, yeah. 197 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,360 BOTH:One out?! 198 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,960 Right, we lost one of you. 199 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,000 LAUGHTER AND JEERING 200 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:29,400 LAUGHTER AND JEERING 201 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,280 He's a referee. Is he? Yeah. 202 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,320 It's true what they say about referees, boy. 203 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,360 # You don't know what you're doing! # 204 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,040 # You don't know what you're doing! # 205 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,800 He's the ref that's always on Sky, 206 00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,640 that stands by the wrong decisions, 207 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:41,880 so I'm glad he's out. 208 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,920 {\an8}It's B cos the earring is different on Jill's ear. 209 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:44,840 {\an8}It's B cos the earring is different on Jill's ear. 210 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,880 Woo! We got it, right, B. Yes, indeed. 211 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:47,240 Woo! We got it, right, B. Yes, indeed. 212 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,280 90% of the country got that right 213 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:49,760 90% of the country got that right 214 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,800 and you and the ref got it wrong. 215 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:52,320 and you and the ref got it wrong. 216 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:54,360 Let's move on to the 35% question. 217 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:54,760 Let's move on to the 35% question. 218 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,800 Oh, 35, right. Oh, no. Get on your game. 219 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:57,320 Oh, 35, right. Oh, no. Get on your game. 220 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:58,480 This is going to be hard. 221 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,400 Ooh, trickier. Ooh. 222 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,440 Which Premier League football team is this rhyming code for? 223 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:03,400 Which Premier League football team is this rhyming code for? 224 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,240 Nest jam. 225 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,080 Nest jam. 226 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,600 It's not West Ham, is it? 227 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:10,640 Ah! He's on it. He's on it. Is it?! It's West Ham! 228 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:11,280 Ah! He's on it. He's on it. Is it?! It's West Ham! 229 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,640 West Ham. 230 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,640 Why is it West Ham? "Nest jam." 231 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,480 Bird's nest. Jam jar. Yeah? 232 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:19,080 Bird's nest. Jam jar. Yeah? 233 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,120 Bird's nest. Jam jar. 234 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,200 Come on. 235 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,880 Tottenham. 236 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,920 Nest pot. Tottenham, Totten-jam. No, it's a rhyming. 237 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:26,240 Nest pot. Tottenham, Totten-jam. No, it's a rhyming. 238 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:27,600 Yes, bro, Tottenjam. 239 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,920 Premier League football - West Ham... Nest, nest. 240 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:33,280 Premier League football - West Ham... Nest, nest. 241 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:34,480 West Ham, Liverpool... 242 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,520 I don't know all the teams. ..Arsenal, Brentford... 243 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:36,920 I don't know all the teams. ..Arsenal, Brentford... 244 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,960 Nest jam, nest jam. No, don't say, "Nest jam." 245 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,240 Nest jam, nest jam. No, don't say, "Nest jam." 246 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,280 You've said "nest jam" 17 times now - it's not helping! 247 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:43,080 You've said "nest jam" 17 times now - it's not helping! 248 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:44,720 West Ham! West Ham! 249 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,040 What? 250 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,400 Neston Villa. 251 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,440 Erm, no idea. 252 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:49,680 Erm, no idea. 253 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:51,320 Nest jam. Nest jam. 254 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:52,680 Nest jam. West jam. 255 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,400 Nest... West Ham! 256 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,600 I can't believe you actually got that right. 257 00:06:59,640 --> 00:06:59,880 I can't believe you actually got that right. 258 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,920 That's fucking unbelievable. Mm. 259 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:02,400 That's fucking unbelievable. Mm. 260 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:03,880 I'm not going to lie, that was very quick from me. 261 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,520 I'm quite proud of that. Nest jam! 262 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,240 Yeah, if you say it quick and... 263 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:09,280 "Oh, oh, oh, nest jam!" 264 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:09,520 "Oh, oh, oh, nest jam!" 265 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,560 I don't know their chant, but... 266 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,000 I don't know their chant, but... 267 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,040 Yeah, you've never been to a football game. 268 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:14,320 Yeah, you've never been to a football game. 269 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,360 "Ooh, ooh, ooh, West Ham!" 270 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:16,600 "Ooh, ooh, ooh, West Ham!" 271 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,640 It's time for the 30% question. 272 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,400 Come on, Perri, head in the game. 273 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,200 30% question. 274 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:23,880 What does that even mean? 275 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:28,640 Oh, no. 276 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,680 Eh?! How am I supposed to know hieroglyphics? 277 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:31,120 Eh?! How am I supposed to know hieroglyphics? 278 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,920 I used to know them. I used to learn them. 279 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,960 I used to have a hieroglyphics bookmark on papyrus. 280 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:35,520 I used to have a hieroglyphics bookmark on papyrus. 281 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,960 What? They've got to be Roman letters or summat. 282 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:41,760 What? They've got to be Roman letters or summat. 283 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,800 Snake. Eye. Bird. Wave. 284 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:44,040 Snake. Eye. Bird. Wave. 285 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,080 Whale. Comb. Eye. Foot. Wings. 286 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:46,880 Whale. Comb. Eye. Foot. Wings. 287 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:48,920 Right, let me concentrate! 288 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:49,120 Right, let me concentrate! 289 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,160 Oh, uh... 290 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,480 It's Fran Kirby, I think. 291 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:55,120 I think one of us has to just gamble. 292 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,880 You have to go summat and I'll go summat. 293 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,240 Otherwise, we're both out. 294 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:01,920 A, Mary Earps. 295 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,320 I'm going to go Fran Kirby. 296 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:04,640 It's Fran Kirby! 297 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,680 Because the second letter of the first name 298 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,000 Because the second letter of the first name 299 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:08,520 and the third letter of the last name 300 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:10,560 are the same in Fran and Kirby. 301 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:11,760 are the same in Fran and Kirby. 302 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,800 Makes no sense at all. Absolutely not. 303 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:14,120 Makes no sense at all. Absolutely not. 304 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,160 I think I'm using a pass. I'll definitely use my pass. 305 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:16,440 I think I'm using a pass. I'll definitely use my pass. 306 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,600 Let's see who got it right. 307 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:18,880 Everyone's going to be out. 308 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,840 This is going to separate the wheat from the chaff, 309 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,200 I'll tell you that for nowt. 310 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,000 Oh, they're just ticking them off. 311 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:27,760 Well, and me. 312 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,080 No, cos we used a pass. 313 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,120 It's Fran Kirby. The only symbol that is repeated represents 314 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:32,040 It's Fran Kirby. The only symbol that is repeated represents 315 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,560 the second letter of the first name 316 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,320 and the third letter of the second name. 317 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,320 Mm! 318 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,400 Mm! 319 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,000 Well, you need to go on there. 320 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,040 Does that mean I'm most clever now? Oh, no. 321 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:42,920 Does that mean I'm most clever now? Oh, no. 322 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,960 Absolutely not. You took a guess and I took a guess. 323 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:45,280 Absolutely not. You took a guess and I took a guess. 324 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,080 Strategically, we've played for each other there 325 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,400 cos we took a punt each. 326 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,440 After whittling down the sports stars and celebrities 327 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:50,760 After whittling down the sports stars and celebrities 328 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,800 here in the studio, we are left with the 1% question. 329 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:53,840 here in the studio, we are left with the 1% question. 330 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,880 This is it. Right, Deels. Come on. 331 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:56,320 This is it. Right, Deels. Come on. 332 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,560 # Three lions... # Mum, please don't. 333 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,600 # They've seen it all before 334 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:09,880 # They've seen it all before 335 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,920 # They just know, they're so sure... # 336 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:12,320 # They just know, they're so sure... # 337 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,200 Is it it? It. It! 338 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:17,520 Is it it? It. It! 339 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:18,920 It! It! 340 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,960 It! It! It! 341 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:21,160 It! It! It! 342 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,640 It! It! It! 343 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:26,720 So it and know. 344 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,520 No. Argh! It and know. 345 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,520 England's gonna throw...blow it away. 346 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,560 But no. So know. Is it know? I don't know. 347 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:33,400 But no. So know. Is it know? I don't know. 348 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,880 Oh, this game's stressing me out! 349 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,920 Three knows. It's know and it. Know and it. 350 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:40,240 Three knows. It's know and it. Know and it. 351 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,280 Yeah, there's three knows... Know and it. 352 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:42,680 Yeah, there's three knows... Know and it. 353 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,040 Know and it. 354 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,520 It and know. 355 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,040 That's what I said. 356 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,080 I said know, did I? Yeah. You said know. 357 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:50,520 I said know, did I? Yeah. You said know. 358 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,280 Know and it. 359 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:55,040 Yeah! 360 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,160 It's literally the greatest moment of my life. 361 00:09:58,200 --> 00:09:59,520 It's literally the greatest moment of my life. 362 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:01,280 Oh... Why haven't they asked you on this? 363 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:02,840 I can't believe it. 364 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,880 And they all thought I was dopey. Yeah. 365 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:05,160 And they all thought I was dopey. Yeah. 366 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,640 But why did we get it right? 367 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,560 Cos you're fucking intelligent. 368 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,600 You're answering things right, and you just do it automatically. 369 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,000 You're answering things right, and you just do it automatically. 370 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,040 Yeah. Yeah. Without thought. 371 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,080 As soon as you start thinking... I do everything without thought. 372 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:16,680 As soon as you start thinking... I do everything without thought. 373 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:17,840 I mean, there's nothing worse 374 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,760 than fucking thinking, is there? Yeah. Yeah. 375 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,240 In Brighton... 376 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,600 I like your socks, Joe. 377 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,560 They're, um... They're tartan. 378 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,440 Where are they from? Scotland. 379 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,480 ..friends Roisin and Joe. 380 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:35,720 ..friends Roisin and Joe. 381 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,280 They're not from Scotland. 382 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,320 I get all my socks in Scotland. You don't get all your socks...! 383 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,080 I get all my socks in Scotland. You don't get all your socks...! 384 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,120 I do, I get my socks... Where are your...? 385 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,160 I get my socks from Scotland, my trousers from Wales 386 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:44,640 I get my socks from Scotland, my trousers from Wales 387 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:46,680 and my top and my underwear from England. 388 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,080 and my top and my underwear from England. 389 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,120 And Ireland I get... I accessorise. 390 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,080 And Ireland I get... I accessorise. 391 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,120 I accessorise from Ireland. OK. 392 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,480 I accessorise from Ireland. OK. 393 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,520 Socks from Scotland, trousers from Wales, 394 00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:57,520 Socks from Scotland, trousers from Wales, 395 00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,560 tops and underwear from England. 396 00:10:59,600 --> 00:10:59,840 tops and underwear from England. 397 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,680 I don't care about the rest of your clothes. OK. 398 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,720 I only cared about the socks. The rest of your clothes are boring. 399 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:04,400 I only cared about the socks. The rest of your clothes are boring. 400 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:05,960 The socks add some pizzazz. 401 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,000 Do you want to know where I got my luggage? No. Mainland Europe. 402 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,200 Do you want to know where I got my luggage? No. Mainland Europe. 403 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,240 In July, there was some transatlantic dating 404 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:12,480 In July, there was some transatlantic dating 405 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,240 on Discovery Plus. 406 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,280 Hey, Clare, you're single. Would you let me matchmake you? No. 407 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:16,800 Hey, Clare, you're single. Would you let me matchmake you? No. 408 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,840 What do you mean, "No"? Who would you put me with? 409 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:19,320 What do you mean, "No"? Who would you put me with? 410 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,360 Would you not trust me? I don't know. 411 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:21,960 Would you not trust me? I don't know. 412 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,080 I once went on a date when I lived in Paris with a French girl. 413 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,120 I once went on a date when I lived in Paris with a French girl. 414 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:29,400 I once went on a date when I lived in Paris with a French girl. 415 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,440 Woohoo! Oh, la-la! So... 416 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:31,720 Woohoo! Oh, la-la! So... 417 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,760 I might be able to bring some expertise to this. 418 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:34,240 I might be able to bring some expertise to this. 419 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,280 I've got a friend who's married to someone who lives abroad, 420 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:36,600 I've got a friend who's married to someone who lives abroad, 421 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,640 and he quite likes it because he's got to come back here for work, 422 00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,520 so he gets to be away from her quite a lot. 423 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:42,560 That sounds like a good relationship! Oh, yeah. Rock solid. 424 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:43,440 That sounds like a good relationship! Oh, yeah. Rock solid. 425 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,000 I'm Victoria. 426 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,160 Hi, Victoria. 427 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,800 I like her already. I love her. 428 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,840 In a few hours, I'm headed to the airport, going to Ireland. 429 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,200 In a few hours, I'm headed to the airport, going to Ireland. 430 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,240 Ireland! You do like Irish accents. I love an Irish accent. 431 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:53,880 Ireland! You do like Irish accents. I love an Irish accent. 432 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:55,720 I mean, I do love a ginger. 433 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,760 "I love a ginger!" I love a ginger, that's why I'm going to Ireland. 434 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:58,760 "I love a ginger!" I love a ginger, that's why I'm going to Ireland. 435 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,800 I love some freckles. They drink a lot. 436 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:01,360 I love some freckles. They drink a lot. 437 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,400 I mean, she has just stereotyped a whole nation there. Yeah. 438 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:03,760 I mean, she has just stereotyped a whole nation there. Yeah. 439 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,800 She's going to Ireland because she thinks they drink a lot, 440 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:06,120 She's going to Ireland because she thinks they drink a lot, 441 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,160 they're ginger, and they have freckles. 442 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:08,440 they're ginger, and they have freckles. 443 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:09,960 Sorry? 444 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000 She calls herself an equal opportunity dater. 445 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,320 She calls herself an equal opportunity dater. 446 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,360 This is the matchmaker. But what it actually means is 447 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:16,200 This is the matchmaker. But what it actually means is 448 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:18,240 that she is desperate to date anyone. 449 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:18,560 that she is desperate to date anyone. 450 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,600 Flipping hell! All right! "She's desperate to date anyone." 451 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,440 Flipping hell! All right! "She's desperate to date anyone." 452 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,480 I want to see your wishlist. 453 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:24,720 I want to see your wishlist. 454 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,760 Oh, a wishlist. Here we go. 455 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,240 Right, let's find out what she wants. 456 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,280 So, what have we got here? OK. Full head of hair. 457 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:31,440 So, what have we got here? OK. Full head of hair. 458 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,200 LAUGHS 459 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,240 Full head of hair, good. No bald people. Right. 460 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:35,880 Full head of hair, good. No bald people. Right. 461 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,920 Cos I feel like I'm, like, spontaneous. And I want someone 462 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,280 Cos I feel like I'm, like, spontaneous. And I want someone 463 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,840 with, like, a dark side. 464 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,880 BOTH: A dark side. "Yeah, I'm really into goths." 465 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:43,200 BOTH: A dark side. "Yeah, I'm really into goths." 466 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,240 Yeah, "Or evil villains." 467 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:45,600 Yeah, "Or evil villains." 468 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,640 Yeah, "Preferably stroking a cat on a spinning chair." 469 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,680 Yeah, "Preferably stroking a cat on a spinning chair." 470 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,720 Tattoos... Do, like, drugs on the spur of the moment. 471 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:52,920 Tattoos... Do, like, drugs on the spur of the moment. 472 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,960 Did she say drugs? Did she say drugs? 473 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,440 Did she say drugs? Did she say drugs? 474 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,480 "You know, just someone who could do drugs on the spur of the moment." 475 00:12:58,520 --> 00:12:59,160 "You know, just someone who could do drugs on the spur of the moment." 476 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:00,960 I thought she said that. What the fuck? 477 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,000 Someone, like, wild. Like, maybe they've been arrested. 478 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:03,480 Someone, like, wild. Like, maybe they've been arrested. 479 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,240 LAUGHS 480 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,280 "Been in prison." She wants an absolute rogue. 481 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,080 "Been in prison." She wants an absolute rogue. 482 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,120 Normally you say, "I quite like bad boys, but I shouldn't." 483 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,160 Normally you say, "I quite like bad boys, but I shouldn't." 484 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,200 She got really excited. Like, "I need him to have been arrested. 485 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,040 She got really excited. Like, "I need him to have been arrested. 486 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,080 "I need a few tattoos, preferably on the neck." 487 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:16,920 "I need a few tattoos, preferably on the neck." 488 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,960 "I really love a mug shot." 489 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,320 "I really love a mug shot." 490 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,360 Today is my first official date. 491 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:22,680 Today is my first official date. 492 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,720 Katarina has picked an oyster farm for our date spot. 493 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:25,200 Katarina has picked an oyster farm for our date spot. 494 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,240 An oyster farm? A bit obvious. An oyster farm with a bad boy. 495 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:28,560 An oyster farm? A bit obvious. An oyster farm with a bad boy. 496 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,600 So, the match I have for Victoria is Dave. 497 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,040 So, the match I have for Victoria is Dave. 498 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,080 Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. 499 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:34,640 Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. 500 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,680 Dave. The dangerous Dave. Dangerous Dave. Oh, watch out! 501 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,440 Dave. The dangerous Dave. Dangerous Dave. Oh, watch out! 502 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,480 Let's see if an Irish bad boy is the kind of guy Victoria needs. 503 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,520 Let's see if an Irish bad boy is the kind of guy Victoria needs. 504 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:43,960 Let's see if an Irish bad boy is the kind of guy Victoria needs. 505 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,000 Irish bad boy. Come on, where's Dave at? 506 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:46,400 Irish bad boy. Come on, where's Dave at? 507 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,200 HORN TOOTS 508 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:49,240 LAUGHS 509 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,240 Fricking hell. 510 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:54,960 LAUGHTER, INDISTINCT CHAT 511 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,000 Why does he sound like the cross-Channel ferry? 512 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:57,280 Why does he sound like the cross-Channel ferry? 513 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:58,960 MIMICS HORN 514 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,000 Hey. How are you? Good, how are you? Very good. Nice to meet you. 515 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,120 Hey. How are you? Good, how are you? Very good. Nice to meet you. 516 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,600 He looks like a nice boy. 517 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,640 No, he looks quite nice, doesn't he? 518 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:06,160 No, he looks quite nice, doesn't he? 519 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,680 So, just there. 520 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,680 Ah! There you go. 521 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,720 Oh, God. Don't give dangerous Dave a hose. 522 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:13,040 Oh, God. Don't give dangerous Dave a hose. 523 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,040 LAUGHS Can I blast myself with it? 524 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:16,480 "Can I blast myself with it?" 525 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:19,720 Whoa! 526 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,760 THEY LAUGH 527 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:22,040 THEY LAUGH 528 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,080 He's mad! He's mad, he's fucking mad! 529 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:25,640 He's mad! He's mad, he's fucking mad! 530 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,680 That was kind of sore, actually. 531 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:27,960 That was kind of sore, actually. 532 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,000 Course it was. You just jet washed your face, Dave. 533 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,160 Course it was. You just jet washed your face, Dave. 534 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,040 LAUGHING:Probably got a black eye! 535 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,000 MUMBLING: "Yeah, quite sore actually." 536 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,040 Victoria seems like she's up for good fun 537 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:38,520 Victoria seems like she's up for good fun 538 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,560 and I really liked that about her, I appreciated that, so, like, 539 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:41,040 and I really liked that about her, I appreciated that, so, like, 540 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,640 I wouldn't mind, like, sleeping with her. 541 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,400 LAUGHS 542 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,200 Davie is unbelievable! 543 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:49,760 Davie is unbelievable! 544 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,800 That is definitely an aphrodisiac. I am getting so excited. 545 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:52,880 That is definitely an aphrodisiac. I am getting so excited. 546 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,520 I'm feeling randy now. What about you? 547 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,560 You sweet-talking bastard. 548 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:56,960 You sweet-talking bastard. 549 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,000 Imagine in broad daylight, without a drink, 550 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,160 Imagine in broad daylight, without a drink, 551 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,200 without even a bit of flirting, someone just goes, 552 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:02,600 without even a bit of flirting, someone just goes, 553 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,640 "I've got the horn for you." 554 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:04,920 "I've got the horn for you." 555 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,960 "Uh, just to let you know, I have an erection. 556 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:07,320 "Uh, just to let you know, I have an erection. 557 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,360 "Um, I've had four oysters and, uh, I'm as hard as a tank." 558 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,400 "Um, I've had four oysters and, uh, I'm as hard as a tank." 559 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:12,280 "Um, I've had four oysters and, uh, I'm as hard as a tank." 560 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,320 Let me try some... Like, the green sauce. 561 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:15,360 Let me try some... Like, the green sauce. 562 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,200 How's that? Oh, that's a good... Is that enough? 563 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:18,520 He's put too much on there. 564 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,560 This is gonna be another Dave wild moment, isn't it? 565 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:21,040 This is gonna be another Dave wild moment, isn't it? 566 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,320 Mm! 567 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,360 Oh, wow! Yeah. COUGHS 568 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:24,640 Oh, wow! Yeah. COUGHS 569 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,640 LAUGHS 570 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,880 Well, that's taken the horn out of him. 571 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:30,800 Well, that's taken the horn out of him. 572 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaking of spice, let's put some in my eye. 573 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaking of spice, let's put some in my eye. 574 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,880 Please do it. Please do it. Please do it. Please do it! 575 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:37,880 Please do it. Please do it. Please do it. Please do it! 576 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,720 What are you doing? No! 577 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,440 No! The fuck?! No, no, no! 578 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,400 Oh-ho! 579 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:46,560 Oh! Ah! Ah! 580 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,600 LAUGHS 581 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:48,840 LAUGHS 582 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,640 "Argh!" 583 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,680 LAUGHING:Imagine being on a date and someone does that! 584 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,720 LAUGHING:Imagine being on a date and someone does that! 585 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:55,160 LAUGHING:Imagine being on a date and someone does that! 586 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,480 Oh, my eye! 587 00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,680 Ah! Ah! 588 00:15:59,720 --> 00:15:59,920 Ah! Ah! 589 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,960 He's an absolute fucking lunatic. 590 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:02,920 He's an absolute fucking lunatic. 591 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,960 For her next date... Uh-huh? ..great icebreaker. 592 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,680 For her next date... Uh-huh? ..great icebreaker. 593 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,720 Like, to be able to go, "What's your worst first date?" 594 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:09,200 Like, to be able to go, "What's your worst first date?" 595 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,240 No-one would believe her. Yeah, that's true. 596 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:11,520 No-one would believe her. Yeah, that's true. 597 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:12,920 "A guy turned up with a train horn 598 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,960 "that told me he was horny and then poured Tabasco in his eyes." 599 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:15,920 "that told me he was horny and then poured Tabasco in his eyes." 600 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,960 Yeah. "And sprayed himself in the face with a high-pressured hose." 601 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,720 Yeah. "And sprayed himself in the face with a high-pressured hose." 602 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,320 In Manchester... 603 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,360 Do you know what? In all my time, 604 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:25,640 Do you know what? In all my time, 605 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,680 I've never been on a parents WhatsApp group. 606 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,200 I've never been on a parents WhatsApp group. 607 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,240 How good is that? For school. That's terrible! 608 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:30,920 How good is that? For school. That's terrible! 609 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,960 Friends Mark and Kelly... 610 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:33,240 Friends Mark and Kelly... 611 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:35,040 Oh, they're funny though. They're not. 612 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,080 They are. I was clap rep one year. Class rep one year. 613 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:38,000 They are. I was clap rep one year. Class rep one year. 614 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,120 Class rep? 615 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:43,400 Class rep? 616 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,400 What did you have to do to be class rep? 617 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:47,440 I don't know, but I put a lot of gifs on my WhatsApp. 618 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:47,840 I don't know, but I put a lot of gifs on my WhatsApp. 619 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,200 You'd have hated me. 620 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,240 You just put gifts on your WhatsApps all the time. 621 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:51,600 You just put gifts on your WhatsApps all the time. 622 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:52,880 You'd have hated me. 623 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:54,920 I would put little things out going, "Morning, everyone." 624 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,000 I would put little things out going, "Morning, everyone." 625 00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:58,760 Leave. Leave. 626 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,800 "Mark Chapman has left the group." 627 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:01,040 "Mark Chapman has left the group." 628 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,240 In the summer, we were taken on 629 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,280 another big boating adventure with this. 630 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:08,640 another big boating adventure with this. 631 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,000 Quick, hurry up. What? 632 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,760 Cos we're gonna miss Canal Boat Diaries 633 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,800 if you don't change the channel. 634 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:14,080 if you don't change the channel. 635 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,120 Have you been on a canal boat? Yeah, bruv. Slept on one. 636 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:16,760 Have you been on a canal boat? Yeah, bruv. Slept on one. 637 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,640 Really? Horrible experience. 638 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,280 I'm Robbie Cumming. 639 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,240 That's me. 640 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,440 Hello. That's him. 641 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,000 I've watched this before. I love him. 642 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,040 You know what? I think Robbie has now become one of my heroes. 643 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,120 You know what? I think Robbie has now become one of my heroes. 644 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,160 And this is my narrow boat home, the Naughty Lass. 645 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,560 And this is my narrow boat home, the Naughty Lass. 646 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,600 The Naughty Lass. Hello! 647 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:36,880 The Naughty Lass. Hello! 648 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,920 I like that. I like that name. The Naughty Lass. Double entendre. 649 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,520 I like that. I like that name. The Naughty Lass. Double entendre. 650 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,560 Come on. Come on. I learned that word recently, you know. 651 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,080 Come on. Come on. I learned that word recently, you know. 652 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,120 What? Really? I've been waiting to use it, boy. 653 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,880 What? Really? I've been waiting to use it, boy. 654 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,640 Lovely start to the morning. 655 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,680 He just had his hands in the Naughty Lass's gearbox then. 656 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:51,720 He just had his hands in the Naughty Lass's gearbox then. 657 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,760 Can you show that on the telly? 658 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:54,240 Can you show that on the telly? 659 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,280 This time, I'm tackling the Basingstoke Canal. 660 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:57,920 This time, I'm tackling the Basingstoke Canal. 661 00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,960 The Basingstoke Canal. 662 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,520 The Basingstoke Canal. 663 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,560 Don't want to throw shade at anyone here - 664 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:03,120 Don't want to throw shade at anyone here - 665 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,160 doesn't sound amazing. 666 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,000 doesn't sound amazing. 667 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,800 Do you reckon by lock three it's a bit boring? 668 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:12,320 Do you reckon by lock three it's a bit boring? 669 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,360 I think it's... Like, the first one's quite fun. Second one, 670 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:15,160 I think it's... Like, the first one's quite fun. Second one, 671 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,200 you get the end of it, and then you're like, "Ugh, this again." 672 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:17,480 you get the end of it, and then you're like, "Ugh, this again." 673 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:18,680 Novelty's worn off. Yeah. 674 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,720 This trip is likely to be a bit of a challenge for me. 675 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,240 This trip is likely to be a bit of a challenge for me. 676 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,640 Go on. 677 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,680 The Basingstoke Canal is notorious for weed... 678 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,640 The Basingstoke Canal is notorious for weed... 679 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,680 Basingstoke Canal's notorious for weed. 680 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:30,360 Basingstoke Canal's notorious for weed. 681 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,120 It always was. Yeah, it always was. 682 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,160 Always was, mate. 683 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,160 Weed? What, weed weed? 684 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,640 Oh! 685 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,560 ..getting caught on the propeller. 686 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,600 Oh, no. Weeds! Oh, weeds. I thought you meant weed. No. 687 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,400 Oh, no. Weeds! Oh, weeds. I thought you meant weed. No. 688 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,440 Although it's somewhere I'm really looking forward to exploring, 689 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:45,280 Although it's somewhere I'm really looking forward to exploring, 690 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,080 there is a side of me that's thinking, 691 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:49,120 "Can I actually make it to the end?" I don't know. 692 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:49,560 "Can I actually make it to the end?" I don't know. 693 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,200 Oh, shit. Oh, God. There's the jeopardy. 694 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,240 Robbie, don't be mad. Turn back! It's the Basingstoke Canal! 695 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,280 Robbie, don't be mad. Turn back! It's the Basingstoke Canal! 696 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,000 Robbie, don't be mad. Turn back! It's the Basingstoke Canal! 697 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,040 As soon as I enter it, there's a massive raft of weeds. 698 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,080 As soon as I enter it, there's a massive raft of weeds. 699 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:00,400 As soon as I enter it, there's a massive raft of weeds. 700 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,160 Oh! He's got to get through those weeds. 701 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,200 Yeah. And we know the Basingstoke Canal is notorious for them, Denise. 702 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,920 Yeah. And we know the Basingstoke Canal is notorious for them, Denise. 703 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:08,640 HE SIGHS Here we go. 704 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,680 I love it. Go on. 705 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:10,960 I love it. Go on. 706 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000 Thankfully, that weed wasn't a worry. 707 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:13,440 Thankfully, that weed wasn't a worry. 708 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,480 Oh, thank God for that, Robbie. 709 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:15,760 Oh, thank God for that, Robbie. 710 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,800 I'm so happy for you. Phew! 711 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:18,040 I'm so happy for you. Phew! 712 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,080 Right, another early morning, 713 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:20,920 Right, another early morning, 714 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,960 and I just need to make myself some breakfast before I set off. 715 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,120 and I just need to make myself some breakfast before I set off. 716 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,480 Oh, what's he going to have? 717 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,520 This is going to be interesting. 718 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:27,840 This is going to be interesting. 719 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,200 What's he got? 720 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,240 Looking at my supplies here of my home-made muesli... 721 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,280 Looking at my supplies here of my home-made muesli... 722 00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:33,560 Looking at my supplies here of my home-made muesli... 723 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,600 That needs to be topped up. 724 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:35,920 That needs to be topped up. 725 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,960 Oh, there's nothing like watching someone make their own muesli. 726 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,400 Oh, there's nothing like watching someone make their own muesli. 727 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,440 I'll tell you what, mate, that's it. Life in the fast lane. 728 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,440 I'll tell you what, mate, that's it. Life in the fast lane. 729 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,480 Add some more oats, 730 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:45,720 Add some more oats, 731 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,760 some seeds, dried fruit. 732 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:48,960 some seeds, dried fruit. 733 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,000 That's not breakfast. No. 734 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,040 And I usually put in some kind of naughty sugary cereal, 735 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,640 And I usually put in some kind of naughty sugary cereal, 736 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,480 so I've got some hoops. 737 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,520 Hang on. He's chucked some Cheerios in there! 738 00:19:58,560 --> 00:19:59,080 Hang on. He's chucked some Cheerios in there! 739 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:00,880 That's not healthy. No! 740 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,920 This is the most wholesome but boring man I've ever met. 741 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,400 This is the most wholesome but boring man I've ever met. 742 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,440 "And, guys, no-one say anything, but, er, Frosted Shreddies." 743 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,480 "And, guys, no-one say anything, but, er, Frosted Shreddies." 744 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:08,760 "And, guys, no-one say anything, but, er, Frosted Shreddies." 745 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,440 Whoa! 746 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,440 Oh, I feel sorry for him now. Why? I don't know. 747 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,320 Oh, I feel sorry for him now. Why? I don't know. 748 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,160 Look at him. Look at his little hat. 749 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,200 That's so patronising. "Look at his little hat"?! 750 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:22,640 That's so patronising. "Look at his little hat"?! 751 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,360 Just coming into Fleet. 752 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,000 Oh, he's coming into Fleet now. 753 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,720 Oh! 754 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,760 I've just seen possibly the lowest bridge that I've ever come across. 755 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,760 I've just seen possibly the lowest bridge that I've ever come across. 756 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,800 Oh! Oh, no! 757 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:36,280 Oh! Oh, no! 758 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,320 HE LAUGHS This is the highlight of his day. 759 00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:39,960 HE LAUGHS This is the highlight of his day. 760 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,000 This is hilarious. 761 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:42,600 This is hilarious. 762 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,880 That's going to be tricky. 763 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:47,560 That's going to be tricky. 764 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,600 I bet it gets stuck. I bet the boat gets stuck. 765 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:49,920 I bet it gets stuck. I bet the boat gets stuck. 766 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,960 Well, if it does, it will liven it the fuck up. Yeah. 767 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:52,240 Well, if it does, it will liven it the fuck up. Yeah. 768 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,720 SCRAPE AND CLANG 769 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,040 Oh! 770 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,960 No! Robbie! 771 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,000 I think there might have been some breakage. 772 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,040 I think there might have been some breakage. 773 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,160 Oh, shit. 774 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,200 He's going to be stuck. This is what we've tuned in for. 775 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:04,720 He's going to be stuck. This is what we've tuned in for. 776 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,760 The boat is basically wedged underneath this bridge. 777 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:07,320 The boat is basically wedged underneath this bridge. 778 00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:09,320 Why did he go that far in? 779 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:10,960 I don't know what I'm going to do. 780 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,000 And they thought the weed was going to be the problem. 781 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,440 And they thought the weed was going to be the problem. 782 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,480 Common sense. Like, why did he not think, 783 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,000 Common sense. Like, why did he not think, 784 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,880 "Oh, I'm not getting under there"? 785 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:21,080 Take all the stuff off before... 786 00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:23,120 He's used all his energies on knocking up his own muesli. Yeah. 787 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:23,800 He's used all his energies on knocking up his own muesli. Yeah. 788 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,520 Going to have to call my friend Jamie. 789 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,560 He lives locally with his family, and he helped me the other day, 790 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:28,480 He lives locally with his family, and he helped me the other day, 791 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,520 so I'm hoping he can help me again. 792 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:31,040 so I'm hoping he can help me again. 793 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,080 Unless he's fucking Superman or something, 794 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:34,280 Unless he's fucking Superman or something, 795 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,320 what do you want? Imagine turning up to that going, 796 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:37,240 what do you want? Imagine turning up to that going, 797 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,200 "What the fuck? What do you want me to do? 798 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:40,680 "Why have you called me?" 799 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,720 "Well, cos you're a mate and I know you live local." 800 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:43,000 "Well, cos you're a mate and I know you live local." 801 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,040 You know, "I work in an office." 802 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:45,600 You know, "I work in an office." 803 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:49,120 He came down, jumped on the front of the boat, adding a bit more weight. 804 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:50,840 He came down, jumped on the front of the boat, adding a bit more weight. 805 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,880 He don't weigh owt! Does he? 806 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:53,880 He don't weigh owt! Does he? 807 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,920 That gave us just enough room with Jamie on the front 808 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:56,480 That gave us just enough room with Jamie on the front 809 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,520 to get the boat underneath the bridge. 810 00:21:58,560 --> 00:21:58,920 to get the boat underneath the bridge. 811 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,000 Wow. 812 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,160 And he's through. 813 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,200 Oh, thank God. That was real... That was touch-and-go then. 814 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,480 Oh, thank God. That was real... That was touch-and-go then. 815 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,320 Thanks for rescuing me. 816 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:08,360 Thanks, Jamie. See you. 817 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:08,640 Thanks, Jamie. See you. 818 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,680 Is this actually a show? Yeah, yeah. 819 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:11,040 Is this actually a show? Yeah, yeah. 820 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,080 I'll be honest with you, he's not done a good job of showing you 821 00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:13,400 I'll be honest with you, he's not done a good job of showing you 822 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,440 how good life could be on a little narrow boat. 823 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:16,240 how good life could be on a little narrow boat. 824 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,280 No, what he has done is show you what it's really like. 825 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:18,640 No, what he has done is show you what it's really like. 826 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,680 No. He has. You need to eat food out of boxes. 827 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:21,960 No. He has. You need to eat food out of boxes. 828 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000 You get stuck under bridges. You know the way television works. 829 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,600 You get stuck under bridges. You know the way television works. 830 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,640 It was all X Factor-ed and made to look more interesting 831 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:28,280 It was all X Factor-ed and made to look more interesting 832 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:29,520 than what it was. 833 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,560 That was MORE interesting? Yes. 834 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:32,200 That was MORE interesting? Yes. 835 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,200 In Essex... 836 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,240 I tell you what shocks me to this day, I can't get over it. 837 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:43,960 I tell you what shocks me to this day, I can't get over it. 838 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,000 Do you know how much a pack of dishwater tablets are? 839 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:46,320 Do you know how much a pack of dishwater tablets are? 840 00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:48,320 I don't know why they're pricing them there. 841 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,000 You need a small mortgage... 842 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:51,280 LAUGHS 843 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:52,800 ..for dishwasher tablets. 844 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,840 ..best mates Jordan and Perri. 845 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:55,120 ..best mates Jordan and Perri. 846 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,160 Oh, if I take them home and I've got to rip the packet open... Yeah? 847 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,080 Oh, if I take them home and I've got to rip the packet open... Yeah? 848 00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:00,120 ..fuming. Fuming because it's not a little pot that pops, yeah? 849 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:01,000 ..fuming. Fuming because it's not a little pot that pops, yeah? 850 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,040 But even when you rip the packet open, I find it all the time, 851 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:03,440 But even when you rip the packet open, I find it all the time, 852 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,040 it's like putting my hand... 853 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,000 If you put your hand in it, a lot of them are burst. 854 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,800 All the time... Maybe I'm too rough. 855 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,840 No, you're heavy-handed. I am quite heavy-handed. 856 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:11,560 No, you're heavy-handed. I am quite heavy-handed. 857 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,000 None of them have burst. 858 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,080 I like doing and then doing whoo! 859 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:17,120 OK, I think you need to... You need to grow up a bit, man. Really? Yeah. 860 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,920 OK, I think you need to... You need to grow up a bit, man. Really? Yeah. 861 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,960 That's how you turn the dishwasher on? 862 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,880 I think you need to live a little. Next time... 863 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,920 Next time you put your hand in that packet, 864 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:25,960 Next time you put your hand in that packet, 865 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000 I'm telling you, do that. "Wwweeeeerrrr!" Yeah. 866 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:28,840 I'm telling you, do that. "Wwweeeeerrrr!" Yeah. 867 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:30,200 Is that it? 868 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,240 Yeah, but it's better without the eye contact. 869 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,200 Yeah, but it's better without the eye contact. 870 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,520 Back in June, Weatherfield's finest were on the warpath again on ITV. 871 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,560 Back in June, Weatherfield's finest were on the warpath again on ITV. 872 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,080 Back in June, Weatherfield's finest were on the warpath again on ITV. 873 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,120 I done sommat in Coronation Street I could never tell anyone. 874 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,520 I done sommat in Coronation Street I could never tell anyone. 875 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,560 I went to a party there once. 876 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:46,960 I went to a party there once. 877 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,000 I won't let you know what happened, but... 878 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:49,280 I won't let you know what happened, but... 879 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:50,760 What, you mean on set? On the set? 880 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,200 In the back of the Rovers. 881 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,200 Coronation Street. All right. 882 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,240 The funniest of the soaps, am I wrong? 883 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:56,520 The funniest of the soaps, am I wrong? 884 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:57,880 What's the concept? 885 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,200 Is it one street? Is it like Sesame Street? 886 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:05,440 Is it one street? Is it like Sesame Street? 887 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:09,760 It's just the area, isn't it? It's not... 888 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:14,560 Big Bird's gonna make it a... My favourite - Mr Snuffleupagus. 889 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:15,280 Big Bird's gonna make it a... My favourite - Mr Snuffleupagus. 890 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,280 Snuffleupagus. I like Oscar. 891 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,320 In the episode, we dropped into Roy's Rolls 892 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:20,520 In the episode, we dropped into Roy's Rolls 893 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,560 and a tense standoff between Lou and Maria. 894 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:23,920 and a tense standoff between Lou and Maria. 895 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,760 Do you want something? Mum! 896 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,800 Me and my family are decent people, 897 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,360 I'd prefer if you kept your distance. 898 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:30,600 Wow! Oh, no. 899 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:32,480 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 900 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,240 That's a bold opener, isn't it? 901 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:35,920 I mean... "You scumbag." 902 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:37,960 Just stay out of my business and I'll stay out of yours. 903 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:38,440 Just stay out of my business and I'll stay out of yours. 904 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,480 BOTH: Ohhhhhhh! 905 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:40,720 BOTH: Ohhhhhhh! 906 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:41,960 Judgy! Judgy! Judgy! 907 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,000 That's what you're like. Judgy, judgy! 908 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:44,520 That's what you're like. Judgy, judgy! 909 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:45,680 Oh, dear. 910 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,120 Something wrong? 911 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,160 Oh, I don't know. I just... 912 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:49,800 Oh, I don't know. I just... 913 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:51,840 I guess I just feel like I'm trying so hard to fit in around here 914 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:52,720 I guess I just feel like I'm trying so hard to fit in around here 915 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,000 and no-one wants to know me. 916 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:55,840 Well, no-one wants to know Lou 917 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,880 because her old fella killed the cop. 918 00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,920 because her old fella killed the cop. 919 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:00,200 because her old fella killed the cop. 920 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,000 Killed Craigy. Did he? Yeah. 921 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,040 Her husband's been done for murder, and she's just trying to fit in now. 922 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:05,000 Her husband's been done for murder, and she's just trying to fit in now. 923 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,040 Well, I think everybody's still very angry with that husband of yours. 924 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,040 Well, I think everybody's still very angry with that husband of yours. 925 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:10,480 So who's... 926 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,400 "I just think everybody's a bit miffed with your husband 927 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,800 "I just think everybody's a bit miffed with your husband 928 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,840 "for killing that police officer. 929 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:18,080 "for killing that police officer. 930 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:20,120 "He's a cheeky bugger, isn't he?" 931 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:20,800 "He's a cheeky bugger, isn't he?" 932 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:22,840 David was supposed to take this to the bank, 933 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:23,160 David was supposed to take this to the bank, 934 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:24,680 but I haven't seen hide nor hair of him. 935 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,720 She's not daft. Did you see her eyes light up 936 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:27,040 She's not daft. Did you see her eyes light up 937 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,000 when Audrey was doing the till? Yeah. 938 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:30,440 I can take it if you like. 939 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,480 No, no, it's all right. Thank you. 940 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:32,760 No, no, it's all right. Thank you. 941 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,800 Uh, Shona can give it to him and give him a kick up the backside. 942 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,680 Uh, Shona can give it to him and give him a kick up the backside. 943 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,560 Spinning a lot of plates here, Audrey, isn't she? 944 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,600 Yeah, she's... This is her in the scene. 945 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:40,920 Yeah, she's... This is her in the scene. 946 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:42,960 Hold on. Hold on. What do you want? 947 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:43,520 Hold on. Hold on. What do you want? 948 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,560 "No, you take it." "No, no, you take it." 949 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,560 "No, you take it." "No, no, you take it." 950 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,600 "No. You." "No." 951 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:49,840 "No. You." "No." 952 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:51,880 "Which one of you will take it?" 953 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:52,520 "Which one of you will take it?" 954 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,560 A bit later, and everyone had popped round to David Platt's 955 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:55,840 A bit later, and everyone had popped round to David Platt's 956 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,280 for a barbecue. 957 00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:58,520 ..said it was a deal breaker. 958 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,440 Why's David so iconic? 959 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,480 This is the fella that's just won... Big Brother! 960 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:02,840 This is the fella that's just won... Big Brother! 961 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:04,880 And cop a load of that. 962 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:05,800 And cop a load of that. 963 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,320 I saw that last time I came. 964 00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:08,760 Huh? What is it? 965 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,800 Oh, David loves his new table, does he? 966 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:11,400 Oh, David loves his new table, does he? 967 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,440 All right, everyone, nibbles. 968 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,120 No, not on there! 969 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,160 Seriously, don't...don't put them on there. 970 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:17,560 Seriously, don't...don't put them on there. 971 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:18,720 Come on. 972 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:20,480 So it's four? Massive chat about a table. 973 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:21,560 I was gonna say, 974 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:23,560 what are they all just talking about the one-piece table. 975 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,600 Yes. Big topic in the household. That must have been a local tree. 976 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:26,360 Yes. Big topic in the household. That must have been a local tree. 977 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,400 All right. Barry Keoghan's got the same one, apparently. 978 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:28,880 All right. Barry Keoghan's got the same one, apparently. 979 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,000 No. He has. 980 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,560 Who's Barry Keoghan? Barry Keoghan. 981 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,600 The actor Barry Keoghan. 982 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:33,840 The actor Barry Keoghan. 983 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,880 Is he called Kee-an? From Saltburn. 984 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:36,840 Is he called Kee-an? From Saltburn. 985 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:38,880 David. Huh? 986 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:39,160 David. Huh? 987 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,200 Here, what do you want me to do with this? 988 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:41,680 Here, what do you want me to do with this? 989 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:43,720 What is it? It's cash from the salon. 990 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:44,320 What is it? It's cash from the salon. 991 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:45,480 BOTH: Oh! 992 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,520 She's got her eye on that cash from the salon again, Lou. 993 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:47,960 She's got her eye on that cash from the salon again, Lou. 994 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,520 Plotting and scheming. 995 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,560 It's like a front for a heroin business or something. 996 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:51,880 It's like a front for a heroin business or something. 997 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,800 Audrey'd be right on it, wouldn't she? Yeah. 998 00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:01,120 Shine up the coffee table. She is as well. 999 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:01,800 Shine up the coffee table. She is as well. 1000 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,200 She's seen that coffee table. She's gone, 1001 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:04,760 "Is that Barry Keoghan's one?" 1002 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:09,880 Oh, She's nicking the cash. 1003 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:10,920 Mm-mm. 1004 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,960 Don't do it. Don't do it! No! 1005 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:13,680 Don't do it. Don't do it! No! 1006 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:18,760 She's put it back.Put it back. 1007 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,040 Good choice. 1008 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:22,680 I knew it. 1009 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,400 Oh! 1010 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,160 "Oh! How dare you?" 1011 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,520 I was just looking... Yeah, I know 1012 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,240 exactly what you were doing, you thieving cow. 1013 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,280 Oh! Thieving cow. See, that's what I'd have called her too. 1014 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:31,560 Oh! Thieving cow. See, that's what I'd have called her too. 1015 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,160 I was looking for a brown envelope. 1016 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,200 I brought my own brown envelope with me. 1017 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:35,520 I brought my own brown envelope with me. 1018 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,000 Saw a brown envelope there. I thought, 1019 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:38,200 'Oh, is that my brown envelope? 1020 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,640 'No, that's the one with all the money in.' 1021 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,400 Yeah, that's got the money. I don't want that one. 1022 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:42,680 My one's the one without the money in it. 1023 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,040 Yeah. Which is um... 1024 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,080 So if you do see that, let me know. 1025 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:46,600 So if you do see that, let me know. 1026 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,640 Anyway, love this coffee table. 1027 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:49,080 Anyway, love this coffee table. 1028 00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:51,120 I know you're up to summat. Wind your neck in... 1029 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:51,520 I know you're up to summat. Wind your neck in... 1030 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:52,680 You're going nowhere. 1031 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,720 What are you doing? Get off of me. Maria. 1032 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:55,000 What are you doing? Get off of me. Maria. 1033 00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:56,800 "You're going nowhere. 1034 00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,840 "You're gonna sit on that coffee table, love." 1035 00:27:58,880 --> 00:27:59,160 "You're gonna sit on that coffee table, love." 1036 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,200 They're going to smash the table. David's gonna be livid. 1037 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:01,720 They're going to smash the table. David's gonna be livid. 1038 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:03,480 Don't fight near the table. 1039 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:04,920 Shut up, Captain Know-it-all. 1040 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,920 Right. I think we're gonna have to send out for pizza. 1041 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:08,880 I wouldn't even give that to David the dog. 1042 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:10,240 GLASS SHATTERS 1043 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,280 No. What was that? The table! 1044 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:12,960 No. What was that? The table! 1045 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,000 Barry Keoghan's coffee table. 1046 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:15,440 Barry Keoghan's coffee table. 1047 00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:19,440 Oh. 1048 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:20,880 No... 1049 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:22,120 LAUGHS 1050 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,160 What was that smash? You know what it was, David. 1051 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:24,440 What was that smash? You know what it was, David. 1052 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:25,760 It's your coffee table, mate. 1053 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:27,240 Oh, my arm is killing me. 1054 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:28,840 Are you joking? 1055 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,160 BOTH:You're joking. You're joking. 1056 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,200 BOTH:You're joking. You're joking. 1057 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:34,440 BOTH:You're joking. You're joking. 1058 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,480 That was Barry Keoghan's one. 1059 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:36,760 That was Barry Keoghan's one. 1060 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,800 I didn't fall, I'm not drunk. She pushed me. 1061 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:40,560 I didn't fall, I'm not drunk. She pushed me. 1062 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:41,800 GASPS 1063 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:43,360 Oh. 1064 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,400 Come on. Who's standing on what side? 1065 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:45,720 Come on. Who's standing on what side? 1066 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,640 She was rummaging through that bag, yeah. 1067 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,400 And I said to her, "What are you playing at?" 1068 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:50,520 She said, "Nothing." 1069 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,560 So I said, "Right, OK, show me your pockets then." 1070 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:52,840 So I said, "Right, OK, show me your pockets then." 1071 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:54,160 She did. 1072 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,200 Look at them all standing round there like it's fucking Cluedo. 1073 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,200 Look at them all standing round there like it's fucking Cluedo. 1074 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,240 I like how she's explaining everything 1075 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:00,800 I like how she's explaining everything 1076 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:02,840 and, um, poor old David's there, 1077 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:03,080 and, um, poor old David's there, 1078 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:04,640 just looking at his table. 1079 00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,680 Just looking through. Just picking up the bits. 1080 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:07,240 Just looking through. Just picking up the bits. 1081 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:10,560 You know, if you don't believe me, just look in Shona's bag. 1082 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:10,840 You know, if you don't believe me, just look in Shona's bag. 1083 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:12,040 Oh. 1084 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:15,440 Money's still here. 1085 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:17,240 Still, she's guilty. 1086 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,280 But it's not all there, though, is it? Is it not? 1087 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:19,680 But it's not all there, though, is it? Is it not? 1088 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:21,720 Why is there a painting of Jim Broadbent behind her? 1089 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:22,200 Why is there a painting of Jim Broadbent behind her? 1090 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:24,720 Oh, yeah. 1091 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,760 Do you reckon that was a real table they used, or was it a stunt table? 1092 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:28,120 Do you reckon that was a real table they used, or was it a stunt table? 1093 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,080 I hope not. 1094 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:31,840 It's going to keep me up tonight. 1095 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,880 I'm not going to stop thinking about that coffee table. Sorry. 1096 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:35,040 I'm not going to stop thinking about that coffee table. Sorry. 1097 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,160 In London... 1098 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:39,680 Shall we compare helmets? 1099 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,720 Cos you've got a Vespa here, I've got a bike. 1100 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:42,000 Cos you've got a Vespa here, I've got a bike. 1101 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:43,480 Wow, yours is very pink and shiny. 1102 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,520 ..mates Munya and Jamie. 1103 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:45,840 ..mates Munya and Jamie. 1104 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:47,680 I'm aerodynamic, yeah? 1105 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,720 Look at the... You look like a professional. 1106 00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:50,080 Look at the... You look like a professional. 1107 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:52,120 Look at the point on that, yeah? 1108 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:52,480 Look at the point on that, yeah? 1109 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:54,520 I'm a professional cyclist when I do this. It is unbelievable. 1110 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:55,440 I'm a professional cyclist when I do this. It is unbelievable. 1111 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,480 Stay like that. Do you know how you can tell if it's good? 1112 00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:57,840 Stay like that. Do you know how you can tell if it's good? 1113 00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,520 Stay like that, don't move, don't move. 1114 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,240 This is how you can tell. Ready? 1115 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,280 Look at the arch, 1116 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:04,760 the arch is crazy. 1117 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,560 I'm bringing some water. 1118 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,600 Now I can't move. Now do the legs, do the legs. 1119 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:09,560 Now I can't move. Now do the legs, do the legs. 1120 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:11,600 No, cos it's going to spill on me. It's not. You just trapped me. 1121 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:12,400 No, cos it's going to spill on me. It's not. You just trapped me. 1122 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:14,440 You've trapped me in some sort of weird, twisted Saw challenge. 1123 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:15,880 You've trapped me in some sort of weird, twisted Saw challenge. 1124 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:17,920 If I cycle real slowly... OK, go on, pedal. 1125 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:18,880 If I cycle real slowly... OK, go on, pedal. 1126 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:20,920 Look at that... I'm pedalling, I'm just going up a hill. 1127 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:21,280 Look at that... I'm pedalling, I'm just going up a hill. 1128 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,320 Pedal. I am pedalling, bro. Pedal. 1129 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:23,920 Pedal. I am pedalling, bro. Pedal. 1130 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:28,880 In the summer, Gary Barlow was enjoying some culinary delights 1131 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,920 In the summer, Gary Barlow was enjoying some culinary delights 1132 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:31,280 In the summer, Gary Barlow was enjoying some culinary delights 1133 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,280 down under on ITV. 1134 00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:36,880 I'm into my wine at the minute, aren't I? 1135 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:38,920 Yeah, you have really got into wine. Oh, I love it. 1136 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:39,280 Yeah, you have really got into wine. Oh, I love it. 1137 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:40,760 Every time I ring you, it's like, 1138 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:42,800 "Yeah, I'm just enjoying a bottle of red." And I'm like... 1139 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:43,360 "Yeah, I'm just enjoying a bottle of red." And I'm like... 1140 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:44,600 He's aged better, actually. 1141 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:46,640 He looks much better now than when he was first in Take That. 1142 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,360 He looks much better now than when he was first in Take That. 1143 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,120 Yeah. Really? Yeah. 1144 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:51,880 Men do seem to age well. Don't we? 1145 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:53,320 Generally. 1146 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:54,960 Most men. Oh... 1147 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000 He had a good lockdown, didn't he, Barlow? 1148 00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:57,280 He had a good lockdown, didn't he, Barlow? 1149 00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:58,160 What do you mean? 1150 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,400 What did he do in lockdown? He played his piano a lot online. 1151 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:04,720 What did he do in lockdown? He played his piano a lot online. 1152 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:06,200 Did he? Yeah. 1153 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,240 Sounds someone was watching him a lot on lockdown. 1154 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:08,680 Sounds someone was watching him a lot on lockdown. 1155 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,720 You couldn't stop him. Could not watch him. 1156 00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:11,280 You couldn't stop him. Could not watch him. 1157 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,320 GARY SIGHS 1158 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:14,000 GARY SIGHS 1159 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,040 {\an8}I'm hundreds of miles from the nearest city. 1160 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:16,880 {\an8}I'm hundreds of miles from the nearest city. 1161 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,920 Alice Springs. We've been there. Yeah. 1162 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:19,720 Alice Springs. We've been there. Yeah. 1163 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,760 But I'm not quite as alone as I look. 1164 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:22,160 But I'm not quite as alone as I look. 1165 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,200 Oh, he's got company. Who is it? 1166 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,240 Because unless I'm hallucinating... 1167 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:26,560 Because unless I'm hallucinating... 1168 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:28,920 It's Ronan! 1169 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:30,960 ..I'd swear that was Ronan Keating coming towards me. 1170 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:31,880 ..I'd swear that was Ronan Keating coming towards me. 1171 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,920 What's he doing there? It's boyband heaven. 1172 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:34,200 What's he doing there? It's boyband heaven. 1173 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,240 Gary! Yes. Yes. 1174 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:36,640 Gary! Yes. Yes. 1175 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:38,680 What are the chances? 1176 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:38,960 What are the chances? 1177 00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:42,160 I hate things like this on programmes like this, because... 1178 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:42,920 I hate things like this on programmes like this, because... 1179 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:44,960 It's not a surprise, Gary. You knew. It's not a surprise. 1180 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:45,240 It's not a surprise, Gary. You knew. It's not a surprise. 1181 00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:46,320 Production have told you. 1182 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,360 They've told you. Ronan Keating has not walked there, 1183 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:48,800 They've told you. Ronan Keating has not walked there, 1184 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,000 across Australia. 1185 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:52,040 Don't you bring me to all the nice places? 1186 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:52,320 Don't you bring me to all the nice places? 1187 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:53,360 Look at this. 1188 00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:55,400 Sworn enemies up until ten minutes ago. 1189 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:56,760 Sworn enemies up until ten minutes ago. 1190 00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:58,320 That's the truth. 1191 00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:00,280 I've got another surprise for Ronan. 1192 00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:01,840 And he should like this one. 1193 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,880 They're actually very similar, aren't they? Yes, they are. 1194 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:04,520 They're actually very similar, aren't they? Yes, they are. 1195 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,400 They're slowly turning into the same person, aren't they? 1196 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,200 I think that's what Gary Barlow show's about. 1197 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:10,240 He just slowly turns everyone into Gary Barlow. Yeah. 1198 00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:10,560 He just slowly turns everyone into Gary Barlow. Yeah. 1199 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,600 We try our hands at creating a sound that's become synonymous 1200 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,000 We try our hands at creating a sound that's become synonymous 1201 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,040 with Australia's Indigenous culture. 1202 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:16,720 with Australia's Indigenous culture. 1203 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:18,760 Beattie, I sense a didgeridoo will be upon... 1204 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,800 Beattie, I sense a didgeridoo will be upon... 1205 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:21,120 Beattie, I sense a didgeridoo will be upon... 1206 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,160 Oh! The didgeridoo. It's going to be the didgeridoo. 1207 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:24,160 Oh! The didgeridoo. It's going to be the didgeridoo. 1208 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,200 So we've come to a sand dune for a didgeridoo masterclass... 1209 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:27,720 So we've come to a sand dune for a didgeridoo masterclass... 1210 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:29,760 I'd love to have a go on one of them. I think quite hard. 1211 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:30,680 I'd love to have a go on one of them. I think quite hard. 1212 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,720 I don't know, there's no buttons, is there? 1213 00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:33,040 I don't know, there's no buttons, is there? 1214 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,080 ..to learn all about the rhythms of this ancient, mystical instrument. 1215 00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,120 ..to learn all about the rhythms of this ancient, mystical instrument. 1216 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:37,440 ..to learn all about the rhythms of this ancient, mystical instrument. 1217 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:39,440 Are they not allowed one? They've got to play the sticks. 1218 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:41,000 They can only afford one. 1219 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,040 Do you know what I really, really wanted to see today 1220 00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,000 Do you know what I really, really wanted to see today 1221 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:47,040 is Gary Barlow and Ronan Keating banging sticks together. 1222 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:47,800 is Gary Barlow and Ronan Keating banging sticks together. 1223 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:49,840 You said that before we started this. I did, yeah. 1224 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:50,400 You said that before we started this. I did, yeah. 1225 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:53,760 Love that sound of the didgeridoo. 1226 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:55,800 Absolutely, you can't not love that sound. Yeah. 1227 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:56,640 Absolutely, you can't not love that sound. Yeah. 1228 00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,680 All day with that buzzing around your nut, eh? 1229 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,000 All day with that buzzing around your nut, eh? 1230 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,800 That'll twist your melon. Yeah. 1231 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,840 Where you breathe is on the "ch" and on the "doo". 1232 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:04,120 Where you breathe is on the "ch" and on the "doo". 1233 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,880 Huh? What did he say? 1234 00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:07,920 So, tuwacki, tuwacki. 1235 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:08,160 So, tuwacki, tuwacki. 1236 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,200 Go on, try that. Tuwacki, tuwacki. 1237 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:10,720 Go on, try that. Tuwacki, tuwacki. 1238 00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:12,760 So tuwacki, I leap out of the water going tuwacki, tuwacki. 1239 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:13,360 So tuwacki, I leap out of the water going tuwacki, tuwacki. 1240 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:15,400 I come up to the part I'm going to breathe and go, "Tu." 1241 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:15,720 I come up to the part I'm going to breathe and go, "Tu." 1242 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:17,760 He's like the worst teacher in the whole world. 1243 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:18,440 He's like the worst teacher in the whole world. 1244 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,480 I haven't got a single clue what he's talking about. 1245 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:21,160 I haven't got a single clue what he's talking about. 1246 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,200 Here, here. Mouth, didge, two forces meeting. 1247 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,240 Here, here. Mouth, didge, two forces meeting. 1248 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,520 Here, here. Mouth, didge, two forces meeting. 1249 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:28,360 Oh, shut up. 1250 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,400 Can I just say, it's a didgeridoo. 1251 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:30,680 Can I just say, it's a didgeridoo. 1252 00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:32,600 All you've got to do is just blow. Yes. 1253 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:34,640 Hum at the back of your throat and just go, "Didgeri." 1254 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:35,000 Hum at the back of your throat and just go, "Didgeri." 1255 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,080 Didgeri.Didgeri. 1256 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,120 Didgeridoo! 1257 00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:38,640 Didgeridoo! 1258 00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:40,680 Didgeridoo! 1259 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:41,160 Didgeridoo! 1260 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:42,520 Fucking Dalek. 1261 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:44,560 SHE BURBLES 1262 00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:44,840 SHE BURBLES 1263 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:46,640 Didgeridoo!That's it, that's it. 1264 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:48,560 Didgeridoo!Love it. 1265 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,600 Ronan's involved now. I think he might be winding them up. 1266 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:51,200 Ronan's involved now. I think he might be winding them up. 1267 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,240 I think it is. I feel like Ant and Dec are going 1268 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:53,520 I think it is. I feel like Ant and Dec are going 1269 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:55,200 to come out in a second. Ahhhh! 1270 00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,240 Been in the earpiece the whole time. 1271 00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:57,480 Been in the earpiece the whole time. 1272 00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:58,920 Listen. 1273 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:00,040 LOW NOTE That's the didgeri. 1274 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,760 That's the didgeri. Didgeri. 1275 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:02,960 Where's the doo? 1276 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,000 Then the doo. LOW NOTE 1277 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:05,280 Then the doo. LOW NOTE 1278 00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:06,480 Not massively different. 1279 00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:07,680 Put them together. 1280 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,160 HE PLAYS A TUNE 1281 00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,520 He literally is just saying "didgeridoo". 1282 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:14,560 Didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, 1283 00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:16,120 Didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, 1284 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:18,160 didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo. 1285 00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,200 didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo. 1286 00:34:20,240 --> 00:34:20,680 didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo, didgeridoo. 1287 00:34:20,720 --> 00:34:21,880 What was the thing I need to do? 1288 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:23,760 Oh, no. He's not going to have a go, is he? 1289 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:25,800 That's it. Do that. 1290 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,840 WHEEZING NOTE 1291 00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:28,160 WHEEZING NOTE 1292 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,200 THEY LAUGH 1293 00:34:30,240 --> 00:34:31,640 THEY LAUGH 1294 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:32,920 Excuse me. 1295 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,120 Thanks, mate. 1296 00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,160 And with that, we're both back where we started - 1297 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:36,800 And with that, we're both back where we started - 1298 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:38,480 on the rhythm section. 1299 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:39,680 Gary didn't have a go. 1300 00:34:39,720 --> 00:34:41,560 Why isn't Gary going to have a go? 1301 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,600 Doesn't want to make an idiot of himself. Oh, OK. 1302 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:44,040 Doesn't want to make an idiot of himself. Oh, OK. 1303 00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,080 HE PLAYS TUNE 1304 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:46,280 HE PLAYS TUNE 1305 00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:51,800 Is this really... I feel like I'm hallucinating. 1306 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:52,560 Is this really... I feel like I'm hallucinating. 1307 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,600 What would you rather have played? Maracas or didgeridoo? 1308 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:55,320 What would you rather have played? Maracas or didgeridoo? 1309 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,360 The maracas are easy, but I play both equally as bad. 1310 00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,400 The maracas are easy, but I play both equally as bad. 1311 00:34:59,440 --> 00:34:59,680 The maracas are easy, but I play both equally as bad. 1312 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:09,080 In North London... 1313 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:10,760 Want a crisp? No. 1314 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,480 Trying not to eat crisps. 1315 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,520 Why not? I'm just trying to, you know, keep it real. 1316 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,360 Why not? I'm just trying to, you know, keep it real. 1317 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,400 ..Stephen and his sister Anita. 1318 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:19,040 ..Stephen and his sister Anita. 1319 00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:20,920 I did the marathon, and then what happens is 1320 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,960 you stop running and you just eat for six months. 1321 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:23,520 you stop running and you just eat for six months. 1322 00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,000 So I'm going to try not to do that. 1323 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,040 Oh, I see, so you're trying not to eat or...? 1324 00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:27,560 Oh, I see, so you're trying not to eat or...? 1325 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,600 Well, I'm trying not to eat rubbish. I see. Yeah. 1326 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:29,960 Well, I'm trying not to eat rubbish. I see. Yeah. 1327 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,000 Cos you think you can eat anything when you're running that much, 1328 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:32,440 Cos you think you can eat anything when you're running that much, 1329 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:33,880 and then you stop running 1330 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,320 and then you carry on eating that much. 1331 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:36,920 I love the way you've just got that in there, 1332 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:38,440 cos I've just done the marathon. 1333 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:40,360 I just like to drop that in to every occasion. 1334 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,400 Excuse me. Do you know that I just ran the marathon a few weeks ago? 1335 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,320 Excuse me. Do you know that I just ran the marathon a few weeks ago? 1336 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:45,960 Hello? He's not listening. 1337 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,000 356 and 22 seconds. 1338 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:48,240 356 and 22 seconds. 1339 00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:49,600 Oh, my God. 1340 00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,640 In June, ITV livened up our morning with more of this. 1341 00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:53,680 In June, ITV livened up our morning with more of this. 1342 00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:54,640 In June, ITV livened up our morning with more of this. 1343 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:56,680 Wakey-wakey, mate. Fucking This Morning's on. 1344 00:35:56,720 --> 00:35:57,520 Wakey-wakey, mate. Fucking This Morning's on. 1345 00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:59,280 Coming, B! 1346 00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,320 Let's see how they manage to fill a few hours of television. 1347 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,360 Let's see how they manage to fill a few hours of television. 1348 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:04,400 Let's see how they manage to fill a few hours of television. 1349 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,400 Geez. Come on, bruv. 1350 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:11,640 Geez. Come on, bruv. 1351 00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,080 This is something called morning TV. 1352 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:15,120 Yeah. You know, while you're asleep... 1353 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:15,440 Yeah. You know, while you're asleep... 1354 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,360 Yeah. ..other people are making television. 1355 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,360 Yeah. You've never watched this, have you? 1356 00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,400 Cos you've literally never been awake. Yeah. 1357 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:21,720 Cos you've literally never been awake. Yeah. 1358 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:23,520 Not just any old Fish Friday today. 1359 00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,320 No. It's officially... 1360 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:26,920 O-fish-ially. Get it? 1361 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:28,800 ..National Fish And Chip Day. 1362 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:30,160 "National Fish And Chip Day"? 1363 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,200 "National Fish And Chip Day"? OK. Wow. 1364 00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:32,520 "National Fish And Chip Day"? OK. Wow. 1365 00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:34,560 Do you like fish and chips? I do, I love fish and chips. 1366 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:34,880 Do you like fish and chips? I do, I love fish and chips. 1367 00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:36,920 I like fish, chips, loads of salt and vinegar, 1368 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:38,040 I like fish, chips, loads of salt and vinegar, 1369 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:39,600 and curry sauce to dip in. 1370 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,360 Oh, you're so northern. 1371 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,400 To celebrate, we've got the potato queen herself, Poppy O'Toole. 1372 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:44,680 To celebrate, we've got the potato queen herself, Poppy O'Toole. 1373 00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:46,120 Oh, I like Poppy the potato... 1374 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:48,160 She cooks potatoes in lots of different ways. 1375 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:48,440 She cooks potatoes in lots of different ways. 1376 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,240 Poppy is amazing. She's incredible. 1377 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,280 I've seen this girls do things with potatoes that are inhuman. 1378 00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:52,800 I've seen this girls do things with potatoes that are inhuman. 1379 00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:54,600 What's your favourite way to have a potato? Go. 1380 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:55,680 Dauphinoise. 1381 00:36:55,720 --> 00:36:57,560 You fancy fucker! 1382 00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:59,600 So, we've got the mega fish and chip butty but... 1383 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:00,560 So, we've got the mega fish and chip butty but... 1384 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,600 Oh, my goodness. ..all of the components are quite flashy. 1385 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:02,880 Oh, my goodness. ..all of the components are quite flashy. 1386 00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:04,920 Ooh, look at that. Ah, yah. 1387 00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,960 I would murder that. Oh, man. 1388 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:07,400 I would murder that. Oh, man. 1389 00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:09,400 That's not a fish butty, mate, that's a banquet. 1390 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:10,720 And I'm all for it. 1391 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:12,760 10.30 or not, mate, I'm in there. 1392 00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:14,800 So, we're starting off with a vodka and tonic battered fish. What? Yes. 1393 00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,840 So, we're starting off with a vodka and tonic battered fish. What? Yes. 1394 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:17,160 So, we're starting off with a vodka and tonic battered fish. What? Yes. 1395 00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,200 Vodka? Vodka in the batter? Oh, she's my sort... I like her. 1396 00:37:19,240 --> 00:37:19,880 Vodka? Vodka in the batter? Oh, she's my sort... I like her. 1397 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:21,920 Yeah, a vodka tonic batter. Yeah. 1398 00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:22,200 Yeah, a vodka tonic batter. Yeah. 1399 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:24,240 Just when it couldn't get any better. You would love that. 1400 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:25,000 Just when it couldn't get any better. You would love that. 1401 00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:27,040 Vodka, fish and chips, my worlds are colliding. 1402 00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:28,080 Vodka, fish and chips, my worlds are colliding. 1403 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:30,120 What's your favourite fish to have as fish and chips? 1404 00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:30,400 What's your favourite fish to have as fish and chips? 1405 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:31,600 Are you a cod girl? Haddock? 1406 00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,040 Cod. It's got to be cod. 1407 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:34,960 This is journalism. This is good. 1408 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,800 I'm haddock. I am haddock. 1409 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,840 They all taste the same when they're in batter. 1410 00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:39,160 They all taste the same when they're in batter. 1411 00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,200 I'd have a remote control thrown in a deep fat fryer. 1412 00:37:41,240 --> 00:37:42,320 I'd have a remote control thrown in a deep fat fryer. 1413 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,320 What's your favourite fish? Haddock. 1414 00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:45,840 Is it? Yeah. What's yours? 1415 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:47,880 Haddock as well, actually. Well, that's... 1416 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:48,160 Haddock as well, actually. Well, that's... 1417 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:49,240 Good chat. 1418 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:51,280 If you go to a fish and chip shop, what's your normal order? 1419 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:51,560 If you go to a fish and chip shop, what's your normal order? 1420 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,240 What about a pickled egg? 1421 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:54,560 I don't mind a pickled egg. 1422 00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:55,960 I love a pickled egg. 1423 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,040 What are you? 1424 00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:58,560 Ooh, chips and a battered sausage. 1425 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,600 Oh, you love your sausage. I do. 1426 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:01,040 Oh, you love your sausage. I do. 1427 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,080 And a bit of curry sauce to dip it in. 1428 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,120 SHE GIGGLES You... 1429 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:05,400 SHE GIGGLES You... 1430 00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:07,440 SHE GIGGLES 1431 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:07,680 SHE GIGGLES 1432 00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:09,080 I've got another question. Really? 1433 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,120 What do you drink with fish and chips? 1434 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:11,440 What do you drink with fish and chips? 1435 00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:12,840 Dandelion and burdock. 1436 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,440 Yes! 1437 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,480 Water. You drink water? Yeah, cos there's enough going on. 1438 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:17,120 Water. You drink water? Yeah, cos there's enough going on. 1439 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:18,320 Also, you know, 1440 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:20,360 I like to make fish feel at home. 1441 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:21,240 I like to make fish feel at home. 1442 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:23,000 Yeah, I go lemonade or a cup of tea. Oh! 1443 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:24,480 Cup of tea? 1444 00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:25,720 Nah. Nah. 1445 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,720 Get Phil back. Get Phil back. 1446 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,200 Cos he wouldn't drink tea. 1447 00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:31,240 No. He wouldn't. Get Phil back on. 1448 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:31,600 No. He wouldn't. Get Phil back on. 1449 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:33,280 Really? A cup of tea? I love a cup of tea. 1450 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,320 You know what's nice with fish and chips? A Malbec. 1451 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:35,600 You know what's nice with fish and chips? A Malbec. 1452 00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:37,640 A Malbec with fish and chips? 1453 00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:37,880 A Malbec with fish and chips? 1454 00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:38,920 Is that wine? 1455 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:40,960 Well, I think it's... You don't fucking drink wine, 1456 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:41,720 Well, I think it's... You don't fucking drink wine, 1457 00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,760 Malbec wine, with fish and chips. 1458 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:44,200 Malbec wine, with fish and chips. 1459 00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:45,640 Unless you're an alcoholic. 1460 00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,680 Well, unless you're a twat. 1461 00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:48,640 Well, unless you're a twat. 1462 00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:50,480 Very nice. What do you drink at home? 1463 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:52,520 Just send that into us so that we know. 1464 00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:52,800 Just send that into us so that we know. 1465 00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:54,440 Let them know, Kelly. Let them know. 1466 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,440 Who's messaging This Morning to tell them 1467 00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:58,480 what drink they have with a chippy tea? Fucking hell. 1468 00:38:58,520 --> 00:38:58,920 what drink they have with a chippy tea? Fucking hell. 1469 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:00,720 More people than you think. 1470 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:02,760 "Oh, hang on one second, I'm just going to message This Morning." 1471 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:03,040 "Oh, hang on one second, I'm just going to message This Morning." 1472 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:04,440 "I must let Alison and Dermot know." 1473 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:06,280 "I have a glass of water." Send. 1474 00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,320 Some of your lovely goujons with your vodka tonic. 1475 00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:09,160 Some of your lovely goujons with your vodka tonic. 1476 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:10,920 How are we get to get our mouth round this? 1477 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:12,960 Well. Well... Thank you. I'm glad someone said it, Alison. 1478 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:13,560 Well. Well... Thank you. I'm glad someone said it, Alison. 1479 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:14,920 That's too big for my mouth. 1480 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,960 Yeah, you can't open your mouth very wide so that's not going in. 1481 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:17,240 Yeah, you can't open your mouth very wide so that's not going in. 1482 00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:18,280 Can't do it. 1483 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,320 Guys, I cannot eat that sandwich. Look at the size of that. 1484 00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:21,520 Guys, I cannot eat that sandwich. Look at the size of that. 1485 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,560 That is a big sandwich. Go on. Go on! 1486 00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:24,880 That is a big sandwich. Go on. Go on! 1487 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:26,600 I would be like, "You've got to go to break, 1488 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,640 "cos things are about to get real freaky with this sandwich." 1489 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:28,920 "cos things are about to get real freaky with this sandwich." 1490 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:30,320 Honestly. 1491 00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:31,720 You would not want to cut back to me. 1492 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,760 You'd come back from break and I'd be on the sofa going... 1493 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:34,480 You'd come back from break and I'd be on the sofa going... 1494 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:37,200 In Birmingham... 1495 00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:39,240 Do you know what I've got? What? What you got? 1496 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:39,560 Do you know what I've got? What? What you got? 1497 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,600 It's been so hot recently... It has. 1498 00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:41,920 It's been so hot recently... It has. 1499 00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:43,960 ..I've got these at home that I use. What's that? They're fans, look. 1500 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,520 ..I've got these at home that I use. What's that? They're fans, look. 1501 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,560 ..Alison, her son Aidan and her sister Saundra. 1502 00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,080 ..Alison, her son Aidan and her sister Saundra. 1503 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,120 Oh, you put them round your neck? But this one... 1504 00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:52,000 Oh, you put them round your neck? But this one... 1505 00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,840 That's huge. Look at the size of it. 1506 00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,880 Yeah, but look, it twists. It's really good. Look. 1507 00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:56,840 Yeah, but look, it twists. It's really good. Look. 1508 00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:58,880 You can have it anywhere. At night, when you can't sleep... Yeah? 1509 00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:00,400 You can have it anywhere. At night, when you can't sleep... Yeah? 1510 00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:03,840 ..turn it on... Feel that. 1511 00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:04,840 ..turn it on... Feel that. 1512 00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:06,880 You can have one up there and then... I need that. 1513 00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:08,040 You can have one up there and then... I need that. 1514 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,080 Where's the other one? ..just lie back... 1515 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:10,360 Where's the other one? ..just lie back... 1516 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,400 Well, wherever you want it! 1517 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:12,600 Well, wherever you want it! 1518 00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:15,920 Over the summer, Channel 4 turned up the heat 1519 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,160 Over the summer, Channel 4 turned up the heat 1520 00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,200 with another toe-curling trip to the Open House. 1521 00:40:19,240 --> 00:40:20,680 with another toe-curling trip to the Open House. 1522 00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,720 What are we watching now? Sex! 1523 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:23,440 What are we watching now? Sex! 1524 00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,480 Come on. I'm so excited for this. Sexy time. Come on! 1525 00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:26,440 Come on. I'm so excited for this. Sexy time. Come on! 1526 00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:28,480 It's basically loads of up-for-it people who go to a house and bang. 1527 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,440 It's basically loads of up-for-it people who go to a house and bang. 1528 00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:34,760 Nice house. It's a great house. If you're gonna have sex in a house... 1529 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:35,040 Nice house. It's a great house. If you're gonna have sex in a house... 1530 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:36,640 Go there. ..do it in that one. Yeah. 1531 00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,680 Where are you with sex? Well... Do you like it? 1532 00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:39,480 Where are you with sex? Well... Do you like it? 1533 00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,520 I think I'm rather splendid at it, in my own opinion. 1534 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:42,320 I think I'm rather splendid at it, in my own opinion. 1535 00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:44,360 It's brief but it's enjoyable. That's all you need. 1536 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,120 It's brief but it's enjoyable. That's all you need. 1537 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,160 Heading to the retreat are married couple - 1538 00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:47,520 Heading to the retreat are married couple - 1539 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,040 hairdresser Tanya 1540 00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,080 and window cleaner Ashley, from Leeds. 1541 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:51,360 and window cleaner Ashley, from Leeds. 1542 00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:52,640 OK. All right. 1543 00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:54,680 Classic - window cleaner. 1544 00:40:54,720 --> 00:40:56,280 Classic - window cleaner. 1545 00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:58,320 A window cleaner! Oh! 1546 00:40:58,360 --> 00:40:58,560 A window cleaner! Oh! 1547 00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,320 JENNIFER CHUCKLES 1548 00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,360 Tanya brought up the idea of an open relationship 1549 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:03,360 Tanya brought up the idea of an open relationship 1550 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,400 and letting other women join us, which was a bit of a shock at first. 1551 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,040 and letting other women join us, which was a bit of a shock at first. 1552 00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:08,480 I didn't know if it was a trap. 1553 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:11,840 He's like, "Tread carefully, boy!" 1554 00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:12,320 He's like, "Tread carefully, boy!" 1555 00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,360 He's like, "I would never do that!" 1556 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:15,000 He's like, "I would never do that!" 1557 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:17,040 Yeah. "I couldn't. 1558 00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:17,520 Yeah. "I couldn't. 1559 00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,560 "I mean, if it's gonna make you happy..." 1560 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:20,440 "I mean, if it's gonna make you happy..." 1561 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,400 Tanya and Ashley have been having sex with other people 1562 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:25,600 Tanya and Ashley have been having sex with other people 1563 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,480 for five years. 1564 00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:29,520 Oh... I say, how do they get in?! 1565 00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:30,040 Oh... I say, how do they get in?! 1566 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:32,080 Have you got underwear that looks like that? Is that underwear? 1567 00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:32,560 Have you got underwear that looks like that? Is that underwear? 1568 00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:34,600 I think so. OK. I have a lot of ribbons. I could probably make that 1569 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:35,760 I think so. OK. I have a lot of ribbons. I could probably make that 1570 00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:37,800 out of my arts and crafts drawer. 1571 00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:38,080 out of my arts and crafts drawer. 1572 00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,120 So we're coming in to venture off our own separate ways 1573 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:41,160 So we're coming in to venture off our own separate ways 1574 00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,200 to have sex separately from each other. 1575 00:41:43,240 --> 00:41:43,520 to have sex separately from each other. 1576 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:45,560 Oh, right. So now, having done everything together, 1577 00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:47,040 Oh, right. So now, having done everything together, 1578 00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:48,560 now it's doing it apart. 1579 00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,280 It's so dangerous, this game, isn't it? 1580 00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:52,320 I would be so nervous right now. Would you? Yeah. 1581 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:53,000 I would be so nervous right now. Would you? Yeah. 1582 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:54,920 Obviously, there's always a worry about rejection, 1583 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,960 but I'm hoping that that doesn't actually happen. 1584 00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:57,840 but I'm hoping that that doesn't actually happen. 1585 00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,880 Tanya finds someone and she goes off and I sit in a room clock-watching, 1586 00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:01,680 Tanya finds someone and she goes off and I sit in a room clock-watching, 1587 00:42:01,720 --> 00:42:03,720 waiting for her to come back, would be pretty horrible. 1588 00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:04,840 waiting for her to come back, would be pretty horrible. 1589 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:06,880 Oh, no! Oh, he's struggling. I feel sorry for him already. 1590 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,120 Oh, no! Oh, he's struggling. I feel sorry for him already. 1591 00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,160 I'm worried he's gonna be sat there with a word search 1592 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:10,960 I'm worried he's gonna be sat there with a word search 1593 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,000 and a cup of cocoa while she's off having...you know? 1594 00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:14,960 and a cup of cocoa while she's off having...you know? 1595 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:16,880 The time of her life. Yeah. 1596 00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:18,920 Are you going? 1597 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:19,680 Are you going? 1598 00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:21,720 Have fun.See you soon. See you soon. 1599 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:22,120 Have fun.See you soon. See you soon. 1600 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,040 Oh. God! Are you going? Go on! 1601 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,080 Go on, off you go. Go on! Ohh... Let Mummy have some fun. 1602 00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:27,520 Go on, off you go. Go on! Ohh... Let Mummy have some fun. 1603 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,560 This is gonna work out quite badly, I think. Right. 1604 00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:29,960 This is gonna work out quite badly, I think. Right. 1605 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,000 See you back here in half an hour. Yeah. Or not. Or not. 1606 00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:33,240 See you back here in half an hour. Yeah. Or not. Or not. 1607 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,000 I'm Olivia. It's lovely to meet you. 1608 00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:37,040 Is Tanya, like, your comfort blanket? Yep. Yeah? 1609 00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:38,280 Is Tanya, like, your comfort blanket? Yep. Yeah? 1610 00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:40,320 It's not very sexy, though, is it? The nervousness. No. 1611 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:40,800 It's not very sexy, though, is it? The nervousness. No. 1612 00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:42,840 It's relatable and I'm definitely that person, 1613 00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:43,720 It's relatable and I'm definitely that person, 1614 00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:45,760 but if you're looking to go upstairs to the west wing and get banged, 1615 00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:46,560 but if you're looking to go upstairs to the west wing and get banged, 1616 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,600 you're not going to be looking to him, are you? No. 1617 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:49,200 you're not going to be looking to him, are you? No. 1618 00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:51,240 My husband's in there and I'm like, "Where is he?" 1619 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,120 My husband's in there and I'm like, "Where is he?" 1620 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:55,160 Oh, so her husband's in there and talking to his wife. Right. 1621 00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,200 Oh, so her husband's in there and talking to his wife. Right. 1622 00:42:57,240 --> 00:42:58,240 Oh, so her husband's in there and talking to his wife. Right. 1623 00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:00,280 Is this you asking me back? Potentially. 1624 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:00,840 Is this you asking me back? Potentially. 1625 00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,880 Yeah? I'm interested. I'm definitely interested. 1626 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:03,560 Yeah? I'm interested. I'm definitely interested. 1627 00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:05,440 You're not going to reject me? I'm not gonna reject you, no. 1628 00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,480 Cos if you do, honestly, I'll hunt you down. 1629 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:07,720 Cos if you do, honestly, I'll hunt you down. 1630 00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:11,280 Aw, look at him. Look. 1631 00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:13,320 I want to go and give Ashley a hug. 1632 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,360 That may be misinterpreted within that environment. In the context... 1633 00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:16,800 That may be misinterpreted within that environment. In the context... 1634 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:18,440 See you soon. 1635 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:20,480 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! "See you soon"?! I couldn't... 1636 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:22,280 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! "See you soon"?! I couldn't... 1637 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,320 Listen, each to their own, but he clearly ain't into this. No. 1638 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:25,880 Listen, each to their own, but he clearly ain't into this. No. 1639 00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:27,920 You all right? Yeah, I'm good. How are you? I'm good. 1640 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:28,280 You all right? Yeah, I'm good. How are you? I'm good. 1641 00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:30,000 It's gone really quiet. I know. 1642 00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:31,360 Aw, she's sweet. She's sweet. 1643 00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,400 So this is the bloke's wife. Oh. 1644 00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:33,640 So this is the bloke's wife. Oh. 1645 00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:35,400 Plot twist. Mmm. 1646 00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:37,160 This prosecco's nice. 1647 00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,200 That was his chat. Prosecco's nice. 1648 00:43:39,240 --> 00:43:39,400 That was his chat. Prosecco's nice. 1649 00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:43,720 I wondered if you wanted to go spend a bit more time together. 1650 00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:44,600 I wondered if you wanted to go spend a bit more time together. 1651 00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:48,920 Yeah, I would like to get to know you more. That's good to hear. 1652 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:49,400 Yeah, I would like to get to know you more. That's good to hear. 1653 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:50,560 Yeah? Yeah. 1654 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:52,600 Oh, this is tragic.Come on, Ash. Come on, Ash, do the best. 1655 00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:53,000 Oh, this is tragic.Come on, Ash. Come on, Ash, do the best. 1656 00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:54,640 I'm taking my shoes off. Yeah, take your shoes off. 1657 00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,360 Let's get comfortable. 1658 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,400 Mummy, there's cameras. Mummy, there's cameras everywhere! 1659 00:43:58,440 --> 00:43:59,680 Mummy, there's cameras. Mummy, there's cameras everywhere! 1660 00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:01,720 Are we gonna...? We're not. We're not. Are we...? We're not. 1661 00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:02,480 Are we gonna...? We're not. We're not. Are we...? We're not. 1662 00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:04,120 Are they gonna...? 1663 00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:06,160 Do you wanna have fun? We can go to the yurt, if the yurt's available. 1664 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,000 Do you wanna have fun? We can go to the yurt, if the yurt's available. 1665 00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:09,680 The yurt? Ohh! 1666 00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:11,680 What is a yurt? I think it's like... 1667 00:44:11,720 --> 00:44:13,280 I thought it was where you milked goats. 1668 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,400 Oh, it's nice. 1669 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,440 Oh, it's a nice yurt. Mmm... It's the sort of glamping I do. 1670 00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:18,760 Oh, it's a nice yurt. Mmm... It's the sort of glamping I do. 1671 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:20,800 You've got, like, Peter Stringfellow's bedroom 1672 00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:21,080 You've got, like, Peter Stringfellow's bedroom 1673 00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:22,800 or we've gone camping. 1674 00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:25,720 You awkward? Yeah. 1675 00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:27,760 Oh... Oh, Ash. It's unbearable. I can't bear this. 1676 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:29,040 Oh... Oh, Ash. It's unbearable. I can't bear this. 1677 00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,040 SHE GASPS 1678 00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:33,160 Meanwhile... 1679 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,320 Oh, no, it's a bit near the mark now, innit? 1680 00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:54,600 Oh, no, it's a bit near the mark now, innit? 1681 00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,200 No... 1682 00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:00,680 No... 1683 00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:02,720 What?! Ohh! BEN LAUGHS 1684 00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:02,960 What?! Ohh! BEN LAUGHS 1685 00:45:05,240 --> 00:45:07,200 No-o-o! 1686 00:45:07,240 --> 00:45:08,640 Whoa! 1687 00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:10,680 She's twerking. 1688 00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:11,080 She's twerking. 1689 00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:13,120 Where's our guy? Ash, come on, mate. 1690 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:13,640 Where's our guy? Ash, come on, mate. 1691 00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,680 I swear, if we go back this yurt and they're just eating Pom Bears 1692 00:45:15,720 --> 00:45:17,200 I swear, if we go back this yurt and they're just eating Pom Bears 1693 00:45:17,240 --> 00:45:19,040 and having a chat I'm not going to be happy. 1694 00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:21,080 It had better be a mess in there. It better be. It better be. 1695 00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:22,400 It had better be a mess in there. It better be. It better be. 1696 00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,360 She can't be doing our guy like that, man. 1697 00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:25,560 Do you have pineapple pizza? 1698 00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:27,440 NOOOO! 1699 00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:29,480 No, no pineapple pizza. Do you have pineapple on your pizza? 1700 00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:30,440 No, no pineapple pizza. Do you have pineapple on your pizza? 1701 00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:32,280 Pineapple pizza?! 1702 00:45:34,720 --> 00:45:36,520 Ohh. 1703 00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:37,920 Ash! 1704 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:39,720 Shall we get this awkwardness out the way? 1705 00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,760 Cos this is making me cringey! 1706 00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:42,080 Cos this is making me cringey! 1707 00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:43,320 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 1708 00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,160 Oh, he's stripping off. 1709 00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:47,200 Just take it off. SHE GIGGLES 1710 00:45:47,240 --> 00:45:47,600 Just take it off. SHE GIGGLES 1711 00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:49,640 Ooh! Let's have it all. 1712 00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:49,920 Ooh! Let's have it all. 1713 00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:51,960 Come on, Ash. We're not going to see some awkward sex now?! 1714 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:52,680 Come on, Ash. We're not going to see some awkward sex now?! 1715 00:45:52,720 --> 00:45:54,280 Come on, stuff her crust. 1716 00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,320 SHE GASPS 1717 00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:01,200 Oh, good luck to them both. Ohh. 1718 00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:03,240 It's a happy ending. Yeah. In more ways that one. Twice. 1719 00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:04,320 It's a happy ending. Yeah. In more ways that one. Twice. 1720 00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:05,840 Hmm. Very much so. 1721 00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:07,880 Always great to watch with your sister. 1722 00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:08,120 Always great to watch with your sister. 1723 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:34,880 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 1724 00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:35,840 Subtitles by Red Bee Media