1 00:00:05,101 --> 00:00:07,101 [opening theme music playing] 2 00:00:19,580 --> 00:00:22,021 [dramatic music playing] 3 00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:24,380 [Jeremy] With the all-hands-on-deck 4 00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:27,900 harvest frenzy nearly upon us, 5 00:00:27,941 --> 00:00:31,661 I had to work fast to complete all the other projects 6 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,100 I'd started earlier in the farming year. 7 00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:37,780 And so, with the sun continuing 8 00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:40,460 to blaze down from a cloudless sky, 9 00:00:42,021 --> 00:00:44,661 I decided to begin with what I thought 10 00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:47,581 would be the coolest job of them all. 11 00:00:47,621 --> 00:00:50,981 Seven hundred glass bottles. 12 00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:51,981 Helping to set up 13 00:00:52,021 --> 00:00:55,341 our newly-finished water bottling plant. 14 00:00:55,380 --> 00:00:58,901 This is a speed James May would call supersonic. 15 00:01:04,661 --> 00:01:05,740 Like your hat. 16 00:01:05,820 --> 00:01:07,141 [Lisa] Groovy, right? 17 00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:11,781 [Jeremy] I then discovered that housing the bottling plant 18 00:01:11,861 --> 00:01:13,701 in a metal shipping container 19 00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:17,100 hadn't been my best idea. 20 00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:18,540 It's too hot for words. 21 00:01:18,581 --> 00:01:19,180 Okay. Hang on. 22 00:01:19,221 --> 00:01:21,060 Let me just show you how it finishes off. 23 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:23,941 48.6 degrees at that, at head height. 24 00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:26,740 -Okay, and then... -48.6 degrees. 25 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,141 Okay, look, I'm gonna show you how it kinda works. 26 00:01:29,221 --> 00:01:31,260 There we go. There's two going. 27 00:01:31,340 --> 00:01:33,340 The weight is a little under. 28 00:01:33,421 --> 00:01:35,460 Okay, that one is perfect. 29 00:01:35,541 --> 00:01:39,021 Then you take a cap, Jeremy, okay? 30 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:42,301 Screw that on, keeping an eye on over yonder. 31 00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:45,141 And then you go to the hot box 32 00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:49,941 and go like that 33 00:01:50,021 --> 00:01:52,180 and then you're just a quick second in here. 34 00:01:52,261 --> 00:01:54,500 -Ooh, is that the labelling? -Yeah, but I haven't-- 35 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:54,820 There's a bit of-- 36 00:01:54,861 --> 00:01:56,701 Oh, look, there we go. That worked. 37 00:01:56,740 --> 00:01:57,661 -No, it didn't. You've made a mess. 38 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,060 -I didn't. No, it's perfect. 39 00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:01,221 -[Jeremy] It's not perfect. -[Lisa] No-- 40 00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:04,540 [Jeremy] And then I take it off. 41 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,220 [Lisa] Any more bottles? 42 00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:14,541 Okay, I need some more. 43 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:18,180 Okay, and then, oh... oh, okay, that's not good. 44 00:02:18,261 --> 00:02:21,180 Um, and then, sorry. Je-- 45 00:02:21,581 --> 00:02:22,740 [sighs] 46 00:02:23,740 --> 00:02:24,821 In your own time. 47 00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:26,060 There, a bottle. 48 00:02:26,740 --> 00:02:27,740 [Jeremy chuckles] 49 00:02:27,821 --> 00:02:30,340 -49.7 degrees. -[Lisa] It's really hot. 50 00:02:30,421 --> 00:02:31,780 [Jeremy] If it reaches 50 degrees, 51 00:02:31,821 --> 00:02:33,381 we're allowed to go on strike. 52 00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:36,821 -It's hot. -Holy shit! 53 00:02:37,381 --> 00:02:38,900 [pleasant music playing] 54 00:02:40,141 --> 00:02:44,021 [Jeremy] Finally, though, England reverted to type. 55 00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:46,900 [thunder rumbling] 56 00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,660 [piano music playing] 57 00:03:14,141 --> 00:03:15,421 The end of the drought 58 00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:17,900 was all anyone in the area could talk about... 59 00:03:19,301 --> 00:03:20,301 I think. 60 00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:22,981 [heavy accent] I don't have to hear about 61 00:03:23,021 --> 00:03:27,660 your one with a bigger... [indistinct] 62 00:03:27,701 --> 00:03:30,180 What have I put me head into here? [chuckling] 63 00:03:30,261 --> 00:03:34,261 Well, you know, I mean, I've done... [indistinct] Yeah. 64 00:03:34,340 --> 00:03:36,021 Excellent. All right, thanks, Gerald. 65 00:03:36,460 --> 00:03:38,261 I went down the side of old Green Wood 66 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,340 on the old electric fence. 67 00:03:40,381 --> 00:03:42,460 I mean, that was, like, you know, for horses. 68 00:03:42,541 --> 00:03:43,381 Okay. 69 00:03:43,460 --> 00:03:45,581 So up there, the guinea pig, two of them there was 70 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:47,261 and they tried to get out before I could get in the gate 71 00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:49,900 and I thought, "Oh, my God, they will be acting the goat." 72 00:03:49,981 --> 00:03:50,821 Yeah. 73 00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:54,301 [Gerald] Well, not at your age now you wouldn't. [laughs] 74 00:03:54,381 --> 00:03:56,500 [Jeremy] Brilliant. All right. We'll let you get on. 75 00:03:56,581 --> 00:03:57,460 [Gerald] Okey-dokey. 76 00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,340 [pleasant music playing] 77 00:03:59,421 --> 00:04:01,620 [Jeremy] I then headed for the farm shop 78 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:07,500 where Lisa had been hard at work and finding new things to sell. 79 00:04:09,180 --> 00:04:10,821 It's an actual shop. 80 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:14,021 I know. Smell the strawberries. Aren't they delicious? 81 00:04:14,101 --> 00:04:16,220 No, no, no. Don't eat them. 82 00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:18,900 -Oh, they're so good. -Unless you want to buy them. 83 00:04:18,980 --> 00:04:20,061 And cakes. 84 00:04:20,141 --> 00:04:21,941 [Lisa] Loads of cakes. 85 00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:24,100 Holy cow! It's a proper shop. 86 00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,381 Piccalilli, I love piccalilli. 87 00:04:26,460 --> 00:04:28,621 Fruity chutney. God, we've got everything. 88 00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:31,061 Yes. The milkshakes, I've sold, 89 00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,900 and they apparently are delicious. 90 00:04:32,941 --> 00:04:35,581 -So, we've got cheese, milkshake... 91 00:04:35,621 --> 00:04:36,381 -[Lisa] Cream. 92 00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:40,261 What's in here? [vocalizing] Oh, my word! 93 00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:42,381 We've had a run on the sausages. 94 00:04:42,501 --> 00:04:45,220 -[Jeremy] Sausages, bacon. -Yeah, yeah. Sausage rolls. 95 00:04:45,261 --> 00:04:47,141 -[Jeremy] Rump steak. -Yep. 96 00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,180 [Jeremy] Burgers. God, wait until the camp site. 97 00:04:49,261 --> 00:04:51,021 -You know they're reopening on the fourth? 98 00:04:51,061 --> 00:04:51,660 -Yes. 99 00:04:51,701 --> 00:04:53,941 Can I... Can I just ask? 100 00:04:56,340 --> 00:04:57,621 Simple question. 101 00:04:57,701 --> 00:04:59,340 You know the planning permission 102 00:04:59,381 --> 00:05:02,021 says everything has to come from within 30 miles? 103 00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:02,941 Yes. 104 00:05:03,021 --> 00:05:05,780 That it has to be a local shop for local people? 105 00:05:05,821 --> 00:05:06,741 Yes. 106 00:05:08,381 --> 00:05:10,460 Is this a Cotswold pineapple? 107 00:05:10,540 --> 00:05:13,660 No. No, but I was low on stock. 108 00:05:13,741 --> 00:05:15,900 -Oh, and these avocados. -Yes. 109 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:18,821 Again, not that local. 110 00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,501 No. Well, they came from one of the shires. 111 00:05:21,581 --> 00:05:24,141 -I'm not sure which one. -You know, eating two of these-- 112 00:05:24,220 --> 00:05:27,141 They don't come from a shire, they come from South America. 113 00:05:27,220 --> 00:05:28,061 Shire. 114 00:05:28,141 --> 00:05:30,621 Eating two of these does more environmental damage 115 00:05:30,701 --> 00:05:32,980 than driving a Volkswagen Polo for a year. 116 00:05:33,061 --> 00:05:33,941 [Lisa] No way! 117 00:05:34,741 --> 00:05:37,780 That's bad. I'm not gonna stock avocado anymore. 118 00:05:37,861 --> 00:05:41,460 So, apart from those eggs, 119 00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:43,381 okay, there's nothing in here 120 00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:46,861 that I can see which is from our farm. 121 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:50,340 [Lisa] Well, meet me halfway. Give me anything. 122 00:05:50,420 --> 00:05:53,100 -Grow something, make something. -I am growing things. 123 00:05:53,180 --> 00:05:55,540 Do something. I've nothing in here from you. 124 00:05:56,261 --> 00:05:59,621 [Jeremy] At that moment, His Cheerfulness arrived. 125 00:05:59,701 --> 00:06:01,741 -[Charlie] Hello. -Hey, Charlie. 126 00:06:01,821 --> 00:06:03,261 Charlie. 127 00:06:03,340 --> 00:06:05,741 Wow! This looks absolutely fantastic. 128 00:06:05,821 --> 00:06:06,860 It's good, isn't it? 129 00:06:06,941 --> 00:06:09,741 Well, just 'cause Lisa's done something, you like it? 130 00:06:09,821 --> 00:06:11,540 -[laughs] No. -That's what it is. 131 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,741 It looks... genuinely looks smart, doesn't it? 132 00:06:13,821 --> 00:06:16,021 Uh, how local are the pineapples? 133 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:17,340 Cotswold pineapples. 134 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:19,501 Are they really? Avocados? 135 00:06:19,581 --> 00:06:20,581 Cotswold. 136 00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:23,741 [Charlie] And... and what about margins? Have we-- 137 00:06:23,821 --> 00:06:25,941 We haven't really done a budget, have we? 138 00:06:25,980 --> 00:06:26,621 I like budget. 139 00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:27,860 -You know how I like-- -[Jeremy] I know. 140 00:06:27,941 --> 00:06:28,980 I like to know that the bottom figure doesn't have... 141 00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:31,420 -I'm working on about 40%. -Okay. 142 00:06:31,501 --> 00:06:33,021 It's 40% on everything? 143 00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:35,180 -[Lisa] More or less. -Okay. 144 00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:36,300 [guitar music playing] 145 00:06:36,381 --> 00:06:37,780 [Jeremy] Ever the gentleman, 146 00:06:37,861 --> 00:06:42,340 Charlie then had a quiet word with me out of Lisa's earshot. 147 00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:44,420 So, just on pricing, 148 00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:47,701 -with a 40% markup... -Yeah. 149 00:06:49,220 --> 00:06:53,141 Wholesale price of strawberries £2.80, 150 00:06:54,660 --> 00:06:57,420 sold for £3.50, 70p. 151 00:06:58,621 --> 00:07:00,021 It's 25%. 152 00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,660 That's Lisa's maths. 153 00:07:01,741 --> 00:07:04,900 So we ought to just-- I'm not blaming-- 154 00:07:04,980 --> 00:07:05,860 I didn't know. 155 00:07:05,941 --> 00:07:06,741 No, I'm just saying 156 00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:09,021 that they learn differently in Dublin. 157 00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:10,181 -[both chuckle] -Maths. 158 00:07:10,261 --> 00:07:11,941 Well, we just need to check that we've got 159 00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:12,741 appropriate prices for everything. 160 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:13,621 Okay. 161 00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:16,061 [guitar music playing] 162 00:07:16,141 --> 00:07:17,980 [Jeremy] On the subject of Lisa's plea 163 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,581 for more farm produce, 164 00:07:19,621 --> 00:07:21,261 there was something I could do, 165 00:07:22,261 --> 00:07:25,181 because my quarter of a million bees 166 00:07:25,220 --> 00:07:28,261 had had enough time to make some honey. 167 00:07:34,180 --> 00:07:35,861 Burn, baby, burn! 168 00:07:37,381 --> 00:07:38,941 [coughs] 169 00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:42,300 I'll have no biting from you today. 170 00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:44,061 Here we go. 171 00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:47,141 When I got stung last time I was here, 172 00:07:47,180 --> 00:07:49,300 my foot throbbed for four days. 173 00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:50,581 I mean, really throbbed. 174 00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:52,660 And then itched so violently 175 00:07:52,701 --> 00:07:55,100 I wanted to saw it off, my whole foot. 176 00:07:55,821 --> 00:07:58,581 Here we go. Look at all that bee juice. 177 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:03,021 Holy Mother of God, that's a lot of honey. 178 00:08:05,621 --> 00:08:06,741 Excellent. 179 00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:08,741 Oh! So exciting. 180 00:08:11,021 --> 00:08:12,100 I've just thought. 181 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,181 [laughs] I'm going to be driving back 182 00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:19,021 and all the loose bees are going to go in the car. 183 00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,821 Yeah, not much I can do about that. 184 00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:23,741 Oh, shit! 185 00:08:23,821 --> 00:08:25,581 Oh, Christ! 186 00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:27,660 I've got one in my suit. 187 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,621 How the fucking hell's that happened? 188 00:08:29,701 --> 00:08:30,540 Argh! 189 00:08:30,621 --> 00:08:33,221 And it's stung me right in the arse cheeks. 190 00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:36,101 Oh, this really, this is bad. 191 00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:37,141 Agh! 192 00:08:37,981 --> 00:08:39,420 [thrilling music playing] 193 00:08:39,501 --> 00:08:41,741 Having taken a brave pill, 194 00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:43,540 I stacked up the remaining trays 195 00:08:43,621 --> 00:08:47,300 and set off with my unwanted passengers. 196 00:08:48,381 --> 00:08:50,021 Oh, I can hear them. Listen. 197 00:08:50,101 --> 00:08:52,381 How can it be legal to drive 198 00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:55,180 with a beehive in the back of your car? 199 00:08:57,780 --> 00:09:01,660 Agh, I can feel that buttock growing a third buttock. 200 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,180 Worst journey of my life. 201 00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:09,780 Talk among yourselves. 202 00:09:10,981 --> 00:09:14,060 I am just applying Wasp-Eze to my own arse crack, 203 00:09:14,141 --> 00:09:15,621 'cause the crew won't do it. 204 00:09:16,101 --> 00:09:18,221 I just don't believe this. 205 00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:19,780 A lot of bees there. 206 00:09:20,381 --> 00:09:23,221 [banjo music playing] 207 00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:25,780 With my third buttock now numbed, 208 00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:28,461 I started to sort out my bee juice. 209 00:09:30,461 --> 00:09:32,780 Look at this. Look at that. 210 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:35,621 A slab of beeswax, which could be used 211 00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:38,021 as furniture polish, floor polish. 212 00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:41,060 Percussionists use it to make tambourines 213 00:09:41,101 --> 00:09:41,741 make a better sound. 214 00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:43,461 It's used in accordions. 215 00:09:44,381 --> 00:09:46,180 Madame Tussauds, they made 216 00:09:46,221 --> 00:09:49,261 all their waxwork models out of beeswax. 217 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:51,621 The wax, in the olden days, 218 00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:55,341 used to sell for 14 times more money than the honey did. 219 00:09:56,420 --> 00:09:58,180 [blues music playing] 220 00:09:58,261 --> 00:10:01,101 My next task was to extract the honey 221 00:10:01,141 --> 00:10:03,341 using something called a spinner. 222 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:05,381 Look at this. 223 00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:09,141 The important thing here is to be gentle, 224 00:10:09,221 --> 00:10:12,660 so you get the honey without damaging the honeycombs. 225 00:10:16,101 --> 00:10:19,341 This is all honey down in here. All honey. 226 00:10:21,141 --> 00:10:21,981 Um... 227 00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:24,420 Oh, God, look what's happened here. 228 00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:30,540 But, despite the damage... 229 00:10:30,660 --> 00:10:32,420 Look, look, look, look, look, look! 230 00:10:37,021 --> 00:10:39,261 My first jar of bee juice. 231 00:10:41,381 --> 00:10:44,621 [country music playing] 232 00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:48,221 The next day, with the honey all packaged up, 233 00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,540 I picked some of my vegetables. 234 00:10:51,101 --> 00:10:52,021 Look at this. 235 00:10:52,101 --> 00:10:54,660 Whoa! That is vivid. 236 00:10:55,540 --> 00:10:56,981 And then, laden down 237 00:10:57,021 --> 00:11:00,021 with actual produce from my own farm, 238 00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,021 I proudly headed to the shop. 239 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:04,461 [Lisa] Oh, wow! 240 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,660 Right, so that's the first batch of honey. 241 00:11:06,741 --> 00:11:08,700 I've got more coming later. And then... 242 00:11:08,780 --> 00:11:10,101 Oh, wow, how did you do this? 243 00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:11,221 Chard? 244 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:15,420 Oh, you've brought it in a bag from our closest competition. 245 00:11:15,501 --> 00:11:17,141 Oh, God, I have. 246 00:11:17,221 --> 00:11:18,900 [chuckling] It's a very fine food shop 247 00:11:18,940 --> 00:11:20,861 half a mile down the road. 248 00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:21,861 The honey is fantastic. 249 00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:23,461 How much do you want to sell it for? 250 00:11:23,501 --> 00:11:25,780 Well, I saw in Daylesford the other day, 251 00:11:25,820 --> 00:11:27,861 half that was £20. 252 00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:28,780 Half that? 253 00:11:28,861 --> 00:11:32,621 And it was £20. I think you can easily go... 254 00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,660 -£7? -For those-- No, more. 255 00:11:34,741 --> 00:11:35,940 -Really? -Yeah, more. 256 00:11:36,021 --> 00:11:37,381 I've worked bloody hard for that. 257 00:11:37,420 --> 00:11:38,820 I've been stung twice. 258 00:11:38,861 --> 00:11:40,660 I'm not selling it for £7. 259 00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:41,660 £10. 260 00:11:41,741 --> 00:11:42,820 -£8.50. -They stung-- 261 00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:43,900 No. 262 00:11:43,981 --> 00:11:45,221 Sorry, are we holding you up? 263 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:46,780 Sorry, there's a customer. 264 00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:51,420 Then the price issue got even worse. 265 00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:54,700 A lady's just come in. 266 00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:55,021 She said, 267 00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:57,060 "Well, I'll give you £6.50 for it," 268 00:11:57,101 --> 00:11:58,341 and Lisa said "Fine." 269 00:11:58,420 --> 00:11:59,341 [scoffs] 270 00:12:00,180 --> 00:12:03,221 She just happened to capitalize on an argument 271 00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:06,501 and now she's getting that honey for £6.50. 272 00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:08,461 Yeah. They arrived in this morning. 273 00:12:08,981 --> 00:12:12,021 It's just, this isn't how Asda is run. 274 00:12:12,101 --> 00:12:15,660 They don't ask the customers how much they'd like to pay. 275 00:12:15,741 --> 00:12:17,461 -Yep. -[woman] Do you take cards? 276 00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:19,221 We do. Only cards now. 277 00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:20,180 -[woman] Oh! 278 00:12:20,221 --> 00:12:21,940 -[Lisa] Yes. Um, if you'd like... 279 00:12:21,981 --> 00:12:23,981 [Jeremy] Whilst I was having a sulk, 280 00:12:24,021 --> 00:12:26,060 Kaleb arrived in his new toy. 281 00:12:26,101 --> 00:12:27,021 [engine revving] 282 00:12:27,101 --> 00:12:28,861 Oh, look at this. 283 00:12:34,861 --> 00:12:36,221 That's actually very cool 284 00:12:36,261 --> 00:12:38,300 and I just heard you go by earlier. 285 00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,261 Did you? [laughs] 286 00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:41,741 -It does make a good sound. -It's nice, isn't it? 287 00:12:42,660 --> 00:12:43,501 Nice. 288 00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:46,621 So, this was your styling then, the black bonnet, black roof? 289 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,580 Yeah, black bonnet, black roof, black spoiler. 290 00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:50,580 I bought the new spoiler for it. 291 00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:52,580 -I had the windows tinted as well. 292 00:12:52,621 --> 00:12:53,580 -Of course you did. 293 00:12:53,621 --> 00:12:57,141 So, basically, when I bought it, two days after having it, 294 00:12:57,221 --> 00:12:59,660 driving out of Long Com at 60 miles an hour, 295 00:12:59,741 --> 00:13:01,981 this comes up like that, folds over that. 296 00:13:02,021 --> 00:13:03,141 That bit here was bent in. 297 00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:04,101 What, the roof? 298 00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:07,300 Yeah, the roof was about that far from my head in the cab. 299 00:13:07,381 --> 00:13:09,580 -What, just from the bonnet? -From the bonnet. 300 00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:11,341 Why did the bonnet catch give up? 301 00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:13,221 Because apparently it's a thing 302 00:13:13,261 --> 00:13:14,501 you've got to look out for on these. 303 00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:15,381 They rust away. 304 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,060 And this is your first proper car, isn't it? 305 00:13:17,141 --> 00:13:19,341 It's my proper dream. This is my dream car, this, 306 00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:20,420 ever since I was a kid. 307 00:13:20,501 --> 00:13:21,900 -What, you wanted a 350? -A 350. 308 00:13:21,981 --> 00:13:25,221 My only slight concern is this is a GT car. 309 00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:26,861 -A Grand Tourer. -Yeah. 310 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,300 A long-distance car. 311 00:13:28,381 --> 00:13:30,700 But since you never go further than three miles 312 00:13:30,780 --> 00:13:32,381 from where we're standing now... 313 00:13:32,461 --> 00:13:33,420 Yeah. 314 00:13:33,501 --> 00:13:34,981 -Where's the furthest you've been in it? 315 00:13:35,021 --> 00:13:36,221 -Um, Banbury. 316 00:13:36,261 --> 00:13:39,141 -Ooh, 12 miles. -Twelve miles. That's it. 317 00:13:39,221 --> 00:13:40,861 What, and then you got scared? 318 00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:41,940 Then come home. 319 00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:43,780 Also. Are you wearing a hairband? 320 00:13:43,861 --> 00:13:46,660 Yeah. A hairband to keep my hair out of my face. 321 00:13:46,741 --> 00:13:48,021 [Jeremy] Is that because 322 00:13:48,101 --> 00:13:50,501 -you haven't had a haircut for-- -Yeah, for ages. 323 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,780 On the 27th, though, I'm getting it permed. 324 00:13:53,741 --> 00:13:56,221 You're going to drive around in this car with a perm? 325 00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:57,221 Yep. 326 00:13:57,700 --> 00:13:59,820 -Oh, yeah! [chuckles] -Watch out, Chippy! [laughs] 327 00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:01,621 [both giggling] 328 00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:05,180 [country music playing] 329 00:14:10,981 --> 00:14:12,940 [Jeremy] After Vidal Sassoon had left, 330 00:14:13,021 --> 00:14:16,660 I went into the woods to see my wasabi plants, 331 00:14:16,741 --> 00:14:21,660 which I'd decided were now ready to be turned into cash. 332 00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:28,221 Sadly, though, the recent heatwave had taken its toll. 333 00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:32,501 Um, as you can see, 334 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,060 everything I've planted at this end of the bed 335 00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:38,540 has not just died, but totally disappeared. 336 00:14:38,621 --> 00:14:41,060 It's got 27 plants, 337 00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:45,060 which means 73 have died. 338 00:14:45,141 --> 00:14:47,341 This end, where there's still 339 00:14:47,381 --> 00:14:49,660 quite a lot of water coming through, 340 00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:51,940 things aren't too bad, though. 341 00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:56,141 Oh, yes! 342 00:14:56,981 --> 00:14:58,461 Look at him. 343 00:14:58,540 --> 00:15:00,861 Hello, look at the size of him! 344 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:02,580 The good thing is, 345 00:15:02,621 --> 00:15:04,341 all the restaurants recently re-opened 346 00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,501 and the chancellor is even paying people 347 00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:08,580 to go and eat in them, 348 00:15:08,621 --> 00:15:11,580 so I can get that down to London, 349 00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:14,341 get it into some Japanese restaurant 350 00:15:14,420 --> 00:15:16,341 and they'll be amazed. 351 00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:17,780 [whimsical music playing] 352 00:15:17,861 --> 00:15:19,700 Because I was so busy, 353 00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:22,820 obviously I couldn't spare the time to go to London. 354 00:15:23,420 --> 00:15:26,900 But, luckily, I knew just the man for the job. 355 00:15:31,021 --> 00:15:35,341 He'd only been to the capital once, on a school art trip, 356 00:15:35,420 --> 00:15:36,981 and he'd been so scared 357 00:15:37,021 --> 00:15:40,101 he hadn't dared get off the coach. 358 00:15:40,141 --> 00:15:42,820 But he's all grown up now and, at the very least, 359 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,180 I figured the trip would give him 360 00:15:44,221 --> 00:15:47,180 an opportunity to drive his new car. 361 00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:50,101 But no. 362 00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:57,180 A few things you're gonna need to know. 363 00:15:57,261 --> 00:15:59,060 Have you got your ULEV? 364 00:15:59,141 --> 00:15:59,981 What's that? 365 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,341 Ultra-low emission. 366 00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:03,580 That diesel engine was made before 2015, yeah? 367 00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:04,501 Yeah. 368 00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:06,940 So, you're gonna need to pay that congestion charge. 369 00:16:07,021 --> 00:16:10,261 You're gonna need at least 15 apps for your parking, 370 00:16:10,341 --> 00:16:11,700 for all the different companies. 371 00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:14,861 And every single thing you can do in the countryside 372 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,221 you can't do in London. 373 00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:19,940 If you get stabbed, right, they won't have that on CCTV. 374 00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:21,741 You make a cheeky left, they will. 375 00:16:21,820 --> 00:16:23,180 How the fuck do I pay 376 00:16:23,221 --> 00:16:24,660 an ingestion charge and stuff like that? 377 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:26,261 -What is that about? -You make a call. 378 00:16:26,341 --> 00:16:27,180 I can't just-- Why can't I... 379 00:16:27,261 --> 00:16:28,461 But don't make a call while you're driving. 380 00:16:28,540 --> 00:16:29,580 Why would you do that, then? 381 00:16:29,660 --> 00:16:31,141 Or you can do it on an app, 382 00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:32,780 and the ULEV as well. Don't forget that. 383 00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:35,060 It's about 28 quid to drive into London in this. 384 00:16:35,141 --> 00:16:36,381 Well, it's free round here. 385 00:16:36,461 --> 00:16:37,940 Yes, I know everything's free around here. 386 00:16:38,021 --> 00:16:38,660 Every single thing 387 00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:40,180 you can do around here, everything, 388 00:16:40,221 --> 00:16:41,461 you can't do in London. 389 00:16:41,540 --> 00:16:44,940 I think we've got the jobs a little bit wrong today. 390 00:16:45,021 --> 00:16:47,501 Go to London, sell wasabi. 391 00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:48,780 Don't take less than £300 392 00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:50,300 and I'll see you back here tonight. 393 00:16:50,341 --> 00:16:52,700 -£300 per kg? -Yeah. 394 00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:54,700 -All right. -It's valuable. 395 00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:56,180 See you tonight. 396 00:16:56,261 --> 00:16:57,341 Yeah. 397 00:16:58,021 --> 00:16:59,741 [Jeremy] He's genuinely nervous. 398 00:17:00,501 --> 00:17:01,501 [GPS chimes] 399 00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:02,780 [automated female voice] In 100 yards, 400 00:17:02,820 --> 00:17:05,100 turn left onto Church Road. 401 00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:08,221 This route avoids congestion on A40 in London. 402 00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:12,060 You are on the fastest route. You will arrive at 9:29 a.m. 403 00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:13,780 What? 404 00:17:13,820 --> 00:17:17,701 There ain't congest-- congestion. I'm in Chadlington. 405 00:17:20,221 --> 00:17:21,901 -[GPS chimes] -One mile. 406 00:17:23,580 --> 00:17:24,941 One mile for what? 407 00:17:25,901 --> 00:17:27,300 All right, here we go. 408 00:17:27,340 --> 00:17:31,580 I am officially leaving Chadlington. 409 00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:36,661 My palms are really sweaty. 410 00:17:37,661 --> 00:17:39,060 Like, really sweaty. 411 00:17:44,340 --> 00:17:46,221 Going on the motorway? Eh? 412 00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:49,901 Right, here we go. 413 00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:50,580 -[GPS chimes] 414 00:17:50,661 --> 00:17:53,501 -Continue on the M40 for 27 miles. 415 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,540 M40 for 27 miles? 416 00:17:56,820 --> 00:17:58,181 Jeez! 417 00:17:58,261 --> 00:17:59,981 [Jeremy] If Kaleb thought things were 418 00:18:00,021 --> 00:18:02,661 bad for him, they were worse for me... 419 00:18:02,741 --> 00:18:04,941 [country music playing] 420 00:18:05,021 --> 00:18:06,981 ...as this is the time of year 421 00:18:07,021 --> 00:18:09,580 when farmers apply for their grants. 422 00:18:10,580 --> 00:18:12,901 This meant I had to tell the government 423 00:18:12,941 --> 00:18:14,901 exactly what I was growing. 424 00:18:15,981 --> 00:18:17,741 That meant paperwork. 425 00:18:19,580 --> 00:18:21,100 I've been looking forward to today, 426 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,741 'cause I love form-filling. 427 00:18:22,780 --> 00:18:23,741 Yeah, yeah, it's quite 428 00:18:23,780 --> 00:18:26,221 a useful few hours, because, um... 429 00:18:26,261 --> 00:18:27,300 Hours? 430 00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,981 -Yeah. -[Jeremy] So, this form... 431 00:18:29,060 --> 00:18:29,901 Yeah. 432 00:18:29,981 --> 00:18:33,340 ...which is hundreds of pages long... 433 00:18:33,461 --> 00:18:34,941 [Charlie] It's 22 pages long. 434 00:18:35,021 --> 00:18:38,820 I've got better things to do with my time than this. 435 00:18:38,901 --> 00:18:41,340 -But it's... We've got-- -How much do they pay? 436 00:18:41,461 --> 00:18:42,780 Because whatever it is, 437 00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:45,060 I'd rather pay it myself than fill in a form. 438 00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,340 Really? 439 00:18:46,421 --> 00:18:48,100 -360 hectares you have... -Yeah. 440 00:18:48,221 --> 00:18:50,941 ...and they'll pay you £220. So that's £82,000. 441 00:18:51,021 --> 00:18:52,501 Right, I'll fill in the form. 442 00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:53,181 So, the first thing we'll need 443 00:18:53,221 --> 00:18:55,780 is a farm map. So, there's the map. 444 00:18:55,820 --> 00:18:57,181 And there are certain codes. 445 00:18:57,221 --> 00:18:59,661 So, you see that that there says... 446 00:18:59,701 --> 00:19:02,021 -[Jeremy] AC66. -So that's wheat. 447 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:02,981 Why is it wheat? 448 00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:05,300 Because that's the code for wheat, Jeremy. 449 00:19:05,340 --> 00:19:07,300 -What's AC17? -Maize. 450 00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:09,820 -What's PG01? -Permanent grass. 451 00:19:09,901 --> 00:19:12,580 -What's WO25? -Those are woodlands. 452 00:19:12,661 --> 00:19:14,540 Have you ever flown into a really, sort of, 453 00:19:14,580 --> 00:19:16,340 let's say developing world country 454 00:19:16,461 --> 00:19:18,981 and they give you a massively complicated immigration form? 455 00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:21,941 -Burma, for example. -No. 456 00:19:22,021 --> 00:19:25,461 And you know when you fill this in, which takes an hour... 457 00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:28,221 or Cambodia... they put it in the bin. 458 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:30,021 That's what going-- We are-- 459 00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:31,820 This is developing world nonsense, this is. 460 00:19:31,941 --> 00:19:32,820 So... 461 00:19:32,901 --> 00:19:34,261 [Jeremy] Right, so there's how many fields 462 00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:36,100 on the farm? I've forgotten. 463 00:19:36,181 --> 00:19:38,300 Uh, there's about 42. So, there's Dead Man. 464 00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:39,421 -Yeah. -So... 465 00:19:39,501 --> 00:19:41,780 -So, we have to go... -That's got wheat in it. 466 00:19:41,820 --> 00:19:44,580 Yes, but it's got last year's crop in it at the moment, 467 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,941 which was oil seed rape. So, we have to go through this. 468 00:19:47,021 --> 00:19:47,941 But it's got wheat in it. 469 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:50,901 Yes, but as far as the government are concerned... 470 00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:51,661 Well, it hasn't. It's got-- 471 00:19:51,701 --> 00:19:53,741 I know it's got wheat in it. I've seen it. 472 00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:55,221 They don't know that yet. 473 00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:57,820 You have to be accurate, Jeremy, about... 474 00:19:57,941 --> 00:20:00,340 [marching band music playing] 475 00:20:00,461 --> 00:20:02,221 [Jeremy] Meanwhile, 70 miles away, 476 00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:04,340 Sir Ranulph had finally arrived 477 00:20:04,421 --> 00:20:07,741 in the center of a COVID-quiet London. 478 00:20:07,780 --> 00:20:09,501 Not that he saw it that way. 479 00:20:09,901 --> 00:20:11,221 [sirens blaring] 480 00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:13,461 Where am I? 481 00:20:14,261 --> 00:20:16,820 In there, in here? What is going on? 482 00:20:16,941 --> 00:20:17,780 [GPS chimes] 483 00:20:17,820 --> 00:20:18,901 [automated female voice] In 100 yards, 484 00:20:18,941 --> 00:20:20,981 use the second from the left lane 485 00:20:21,021 --> 00:20:22,501 to turn left onto Piccadilly. 486 00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:24,501 Then use the second from the left lane 487 00:20:24,580 --> 00:20:27,421 to turn slightly right onto Duke of Wellington Place. 488 00:20:27,501 --> 00:20:30,461 What? No, not a chance in hell. I'm going straight on. 489 00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,820 -[GPS chimes] -At the roundabout turn left. 490 00:20:32,901 --> 00:20:34,661 Turn left onto Constitution Hill. 491 00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:34,981 -[GPS chimes] 492 00:20:35,021 --> 00:20:36,780 -Take the first left on the roundabout. 493 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,981 I don't understand. Don't keep telling me to turn left! 494 00:20:39,021 --> 00:20:39,300 -[GPS chimes] 495 00:20:39,340 --> 00:20:40,580 -Turn right into Grosvenor Place. 496 00:20:40,661 --> 00:20:42,421 -[horn honking] -What are you beeping me at? 497 00:20:42,461 --> 00:20:44,661 Dickhead! 498 00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:46,741 Hello. Just cut right in front of me, why don't you? 499 00:20:46,820 --> 00:20:48,181 -[GPS chimes] -From the right lane, 500 00:20:48,261 --> 00:20:49,820 turn slightly right onto Piccadilly, 501 00:20:49,901 --> 00:20:50,981 then use the left two lanes 502 00:20:51,021 --> 00:20:52,741 to turn left to stay on Piccadilly. 503 00:20:52,780 --> 00:20:56,221 What? No, no, no, no. I need to go there. 504 00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:57,580 [horn honks] 505 00:20:57,661 --> 00:20:58,661 Sorry, friend. 506 00:20:58,741 --> 00:21:01,501 Congestion charge. Jesus! 507 00:21:01,580 --> 00:21:02,820 Ultra-low. 508 00:21:02,901 --> 00:21:06,901 -[GPS chimes] -Turn left onto Old Park Lane. 509 00:21:06,981 --> 00:21:09,901 Great. No left turning. Ah, you're fucking having me on! 510 00:21:09,981 --> 00:21:13,060 I'm meant to go left down there. I've got to go left here. 511 00:21:15,461 --> 00:21:18,221 I am looking for a restaurant called Nero. 512 00:21:19,701 --> 00:21:21,340 Nero, Naro, 513 00:21:22,221 --> 00:21:24,340 Nero, Noro, Naro. 514 00:21:24,461 --> 00:21:25,820 [Jeremy] Eventually, Kaleb found 515 00:21:25,901 --> 00:21:27,941 the restaurant he was looking for. 516 00:21:30,060 --> 00:21:31,981 All right, where do I park? Come on, park. 517 00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:36,461 Pay by phone. 518 00:21:37,060 --> 00:21:41,820 027125. 519 00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:42,741 [recorded male voice] Sorry. 520 00:21:42,780 --> 00:21:44,941 We're unable to park you in this location 521 00:21:44,981 --> 00:21:47,580 as its restrictions do not allow your vehicle type. 522 00:21:47,701 --> 00:21:50,820 Please look for alternative parking locations nearby. 523 00:21:50,941 --> 00:21:51,580 Thank you for calling 524 00:21:51,580 --> 00:21:53,741 Westminster's pay-to-park service. 525 00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:55,580 To find out more available ways to pay, 526 00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:57,380 change your card or vehicle details... 527 00:21:57,421 --> 00:21:58,421 What is going on? 528 00:21:58,501 --> 00:21:59,901 ...or download VAT receipts. 529 00:21:59,981 --> 00:22:01,860 Please visit www... 530 00:22:01,941 --> 00:22:04,100 [marching band music playing] 531 00:22:06,140 --> 00:22:08,300 Enter your card's expiry date 532 00:22:08,380 --> 00:22:10,860 exactly as printed on the front of the card. 533 00:22:10,941 --> 00:22:13,461 To find out more about alternative ways to pay, 534 00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:15,901 change your card or vehicle details or... 535 00:22:15,981 --> 00:22:16,901 Shut up. 536 00:22:17,901 --> 00:22:18,780 Right. 537 00:22:20,221 --> 00:22:21,501 That's that done. 538 00:22:21,580 --> 00:22:24,340 Ten quid just to park here for an hour. 539 00:22:24,421 --> 00:22:25,501 Hello. 540 00:22:28,140 --> 00:22:30,380 [director] What are you doing? 541 00:22:30,461 --> 00:22:32,060 [Kaleb] Trying to open the door. 542 00:22:32,701 --> 00:22:33,741 [director] Why? 543 00:22:34,501 --> 00:22:37,300 I haven't got any gloves and it's London. 544 00:22:37,380 --> 00:22:38,580 How are you doing? Are you all right? 545 00:22:38,620 --> 00:22:40,580 I've got some wasabi for you... 546 00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:41,981 -Oh, la, la, la, la, la. -...off the farm. 547 00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:42,901 Yep. 548 00:22:42,981 --> 00:22:43,901 So... 549 00:22:50,901 --> 00:22:52,181 -[Kaleb] Jesus! 550 00:22:52,221 --> 00:22:53,701 -[chef] Have you tried your wasabi? 551 00:22:53,741 --> 00:22:55,941 -To eat? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. 552 00:22:56,021 --> 00:22:58,300 I like it. I didn't have it on any fish, mind. 553 00:22:58,380 --> 00:23:01,060 I had it on, like, a ready salted crisp. 554 00:23:01,140 --> 00:23:02,261 Yeah. 555 00:23:02,340 --> 00:23:04,261 I'm more like a roast dinner chap, you know? 556 00:23:04,340 --> 00:23:06,140 -Mm-hmm. -A proper roast dinner. 557 00:23:06,221 --> 00:23:09,300 Well, we try, yeah, your wasabi. 558 00:23:09,380 --> 00:23:12,380 Nice, like, creamy. I can smell. 559 00:23:14,701 --> 00:23:17,021 Nice one, nice one. Very good, very good. 560 00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:18,820 And do you want to buy the wasabi? 561 00:23:20,021 --> 00:23:21,580 Are you interested in-- 562 00:23:21,661 --> 00:23:23,620 Not too much. Not too much. 563 00:23:23,701 --> 00:23:24,380 If you look at it, though, 564 00:23:24,421 --> 00:23:27,261 it's top-quality Chadlington wasabi, that. 565 00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:30,100 Quality good, right. 566 00:23:30,181 --> 00:23:32,181 But the wastage, there's so 567 00:23:32,221 --> 00:23:33,941 much wastage because of the size. 568 00:23:33,981 --> 00:23:34,820 [Kaleb] Yeah. 569 00:23:34,901 --> 00:23:36,181 [chef] So, we need to have, like, a bigger 570 00:23:36,221 --> 00:23:37,901 size, otherwise, like, too much. 571 00:23:37,941 --> 00:23:39,461 -Too much waste? -[chef] Yeah. 572 00:23:39,540 --> 00:23:40,941 Ah, right. Okey-dokey. 573 00:23:41,021 --> 00:23:42,701 -Well, thank you very much for everything. 574 00:23:42,741 --> 00:23:43,780 -Thank you very much. 575 00:23:43,820 --> 00:23:45,540 -I'll try my best to grow a bigger one. 576 00:23:45,580 --> 00:23:46,620 -Good stuff. 577 00:23:50,340 --> 00:23:51,421 Oh, no! 578 00:23:57,820 --> 00:23:59,300 Sixty-five quid? 579 00:24:01,181 --> 00:24:03,140 Full charge 130 quid? 580 00:24:06,981 --> 00:24:08,021 Oh! 581 00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:10,261 [country music playing] 582 00:24:10,340 --> 00:24:10,981 [Jeremy] With Kaleb 583 00:24:11,021 --> 00:24:13,261 losing the profits he hadn't made, 584 00:24:13,981 --> 00:24:18,701 I was busy regretting planting so many different vegetables. 585 00:24:18,780 --> 00:24:22,540 Broad beans, beetroots, chard, peas, swede, 586 00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:25,540 kohlrabi, turnip, cabbage, leeks, pak choi, 587 00:24:25,620 --> 00:24:28,261 rhubarb, broccoli, cauliflower, kale and marrow. 588 00:24:28,340 --> 00:24:30,580 Yeah. Now, the government has a code, 589 00:24:30,620 --> 00:24:31,380 obviously, for all of those. 590 00:24:31,421 --> 00:24:33,701 -Yeah. -Broad beans has got a code? 591 00:24:33,780 --> 00:24:35,100 Broad beans has a code. 592 00:24:35,181 --> 00:24:37,421 -I have to look those codes up. -Yeah, look them up. 593 00:24:37,501 --> 00:24:39,780 And then tell them exactly how much. 594 00:24:39,820 --> 00:24:41,300 What do they want it, in centimeters? 595 00:24:41,340 --> 00:24:43,501 -Square meters will be fine. -Square meters. 596 00:24:43,580 --> 00:24:45,421 You've got to do it to four decimal places. 597 00:24:45,501 --> 00:24:47,100 If you see, we've got four decimal places. 598 00:24:47,181 --> 00:24:49,620 They want it to with-- They want it that tight? 599 00:24:49,701 --> 00:24:51,620 Yeah, it's very accurate now. 600 00:24:51,701 --> 00:24:54,380 Can't you just write vegetables? Can we guess? 601 00:24:54,461 --> 00:24:55,380 There isn't just-- 602 00:24:55,461 --> 00:24:59,100 Uh, you could, but then if you're wrong, 603 00:24:59,140 --> 00:25:01,181 they might implement a penalty, 604 00:25:01,221 --> 00:25:01,580 and, you know, 605 00:25:01,620 --> 00:25:03,661 they have got eyes in the sky now, 606 00:25:03,701 --> 00:25:05,701 so, you know, there's satellite images. 607 00:25:05,780 --> 00:25:07,421 Are you telling me 608 00:25:07,501 --> 00:25:09,380 the British government 609 00:25:09,421 --> 00:25:12,501 is photographing my farm from space 610 00:25:12,540 --> 00:25:14,701 to see what I'm growing and doing with it? 611 00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:15,860 Absolutely. 612 00:25:16,421 --> 00:25:19,461 [marching band music playing] 613 00:25:20,741 --> 00:25:23,300 [Jeremy] Desperate to make some money from the trip, 614 00:25:23,380 --> 00:25:25,901 Sir Ranulph, aided by his chatty satnav... 615 00:25:25,981 --> 00:25:27,620 [automated female voice] Harley Street, then turn left onto... 616 00:25:27,701 --> 00:25:29,941 [Jeremy] ...was now looking for the next restaurant. 617 00:25:30,021 --> 00:25:30,941 [automated female voice] Turn left onto 618 00:25:30,981 --> 00:25:33,021 Curzon Street, then turn... 619 00:25:33,060 --> 00:25:36,060 Head southeast on Stanhope Row towards Shepherd Street, 620 00:25:36,140 --> 00:25:37,981 then turn right onto Hertford Street. 621 00:25:38,060 --> 00:25:39,300 [Kaleb] Oh, my God! 622 00:25:40,340 --> 00:25:41,181 [GPS chimes] 623 00:25:41,261 --> 00:25:42,820 Turn left onto The Mall. 624 00:25:48,580 --> 00:25:50,181 Oh, look at that. 625 00:25:50,981 --> 00:25:53,060 Is that where the Queen lives, in there? 626 00:25:54,780 --> 00:25:56,661 [Jeremy] At the next restaurant... 627 00:25:56,741 --> 00:25:58,100 What have you got to offer? 628 00:25:58,181 --> 00:25:59,380 This is the wasabi 629 00:25:59,421 --> 00:26:00,941 that's grown on the farm in Chadlington. 630 00:26:01,021 --> 00:26:01,981 -Do you know where Chadlington is? 631 00:26:02,021 --> 00:26:03,741 -Chipping Norton? -No. 632 00:26:03,820 --> 00:26:07,100 [Jeremy] Kaleb was in full salesman mode. 633 00:26:07,741 --> 00:26:11,300 I've been told, come away from my boss, £300 a kg. 634 00:26:11,380 --> 00:26:13,860 £300 a kg? You're dreaming, mate. 635 00:26:14,941 --> 00:26:16,100 Let's have a look here and see 636 00:26:16,181 --> 00:26:17,741 what you've actually managed to produce, eh? 637 00:26:17,820 --> 00:26:19,021 -[Kaleb] Yeah, let's have a look. 638 00:26:19,060 --> 00:26:19,901 -So, there you go. 639 00:26:19,941 --> 00:26:21,181 204 grams. 640 00:26:21,261 --> 00:26:23,540 Really, if you're gonna clean it down 641 00:26:23,620 --> 00:26:26,261 you've probably got more like 150 grams, let's be honest. 642 00:26:26,340 --> 00:26:28,261 Yeah, all right. 150 grams. 643 00:26:28,340 --> 00:26:30,701 -What's that? A tenner? -Eh? 644 00:26:30,780 --> 00:26:33,181 I'll give you ten quid for it, mate. That's a good deal. 645 00:26:33,261 --> 00:26:35,421 I reckon we do a deal. Go £15. 646 00:26:35,501 --> 00:26:37,340 -I'll give you ten, mate. -Twelve. 647 00:26:37,421 --> 00:26:38,941 Ten it is. 648 00:26:39,021 --> 00:26:39,941 Okay, deal. 649 00:26:40,021 --> 00:26:41,780 It just cost me £10 to park. 650 00:26:41,860 --> 00:26:43,620 There you go. You pay your parking for free. 651 00:26:48,421 --> 00:26:49,261 [GPS chimes] 652 00:26:49,340 --> 00:26:51,181 [automated female voice] In 200 yards, turn left onto 653 00:26:51,221 --> 00:26:53,580 Lancaster Place. A301. 654 00:26:53,620 --> 00:26:56,820 Uh, we are off to the Shard now. 655 00:26:56,901 --> 00:26:58,501 Something called the Shard. 656 00:26:58,580 --> 00:27:02,140 I want to get in there, get it sold, get out of there, go home. 657 00:27:02,221 --> 00:27:03,300 I've had enough. 658 00:27:04,580 --> 00:27:07,300 [Jeremy] This is probably a good time to reveal 659 00:27:07,380 --> 00:27:12,181 that the only thing Kaleb hates more than cities is heights. 660 00:27:12,261 --> 00:27:16,941 Oh, don't tell me that's the Shard. You are winding me up. 661 00:27:17,021 --> 00:27:18,501 Oh, Jesus! 662 00:27:19,901 --> 00:27:21,741 Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! 663 00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:23,620 [elevator beeping] 664 00:27:23,701 --> 00:27:25,380 Oh! Don't look at the levels, 665 00:27:25,461 --> 00:27:28,021 don't look at the levels, don't look at the levels. 666 00:27:32,981 --> 00:27:34,860 [automated female voice] 32nd floor. 667 00:27:34,941 --> 00:27:36,461 [groans] 668 00:27:36,540 --> 00:27:37,701 That's horrible. 669 00:27:39,261 --> 00:27:40,941 -Doors open. -[groans] 670 00:27:42,741 --> 00:27:46,340 [Jeremy] Still, at least the trip was completely pointless. 671 00:27:46,421 --> 00:27:48,661 £25, 100 grams. 672 00:27:50,340 --> 00:27:52,421 -Let me digest that and I'll-- -[Kaleb] Yeah? 673 00:27:52,540 --> 00:27:53,981 Yeah, I'll give you a call. 674 00:27:54,060 --> 00:27:55,380 -You're sure you don't want to buy it now? 675 00:27:55,421 --> 00:27:57,701 -Unfortunately, not now, no. 676 00:27:57,741 --> 00:27:59,901 Shit! Okey-dokey. Cheers. 677 00:28:01,221 --> 00:28:03,021 -[cell phone rings] -Mum. 678 00:28:03,100 --> 00:28:05,060 Hello. My signal is bad. 679 00:28:05,860 --> 00:28:07,060 I'm up the Shard. 680 00:28:07,580 --> 00:28:08,540 Ever heard of it? 681 00:28:08,620 --> 00:28:11,421 It's like a big building in London. It's not very good. 682 00:28:11,501 --> 00:28:13,580 It's like 1,000 feet up in the air. 683 00:28:13,661 --> 00:28:15,901 Look, I've got to go, all right? 684 00:28:17,300 --> 00:28:19,820 -[director] Who was that, Kaleb? -That was my mum. 685 00:28:19,901 --> 00:28:21,181 She was worried about me. 686 00:28:21,300 --> 00:28:22,580 [chuckles] 687 00:28:22,661 --> 00:28:24,620 She's seen me on the family map thing and said, 688 00:28:24,701 --> 00:28:27,380 "Why are you in London?" I'm like, "I'm up the Shard." 689 00:28:27,461 --> 00:28:31,261 She goes, "Where?" "The Shard in London." 690 00:28:33,501 --> 00:28:35,981 I must admit, it's quite a nice view, actually. 691 00:28:36,060 --> 00:28:39,060 It would be better if there was, like, a farm, fields, hills. 692 00:28:40,421 --> 00:28:43,261 -[director] Are you all right? -No, not really. 693 00:28:43,340 --> 00:28:45,300 Today I have made... 694 00:28:47,261 --> 00:28:48,140 nothing. 695 00:28:50,380 --> 00:28:53,580 [gospel music playing] 696 00:28:53,661 --> 00:28:57,461 [Jeremy] After Kaleb's failure to sell the wasabi in London, 697 00:28:57,540 --> 00:28:59,060 we put it in the farm shop... 698 00:29:00,701 --> 00:29:01,820 where it rotted. 699 00:29:03,060 --> 00:29:05,221 And that wasn't the end of the bad news. 700 00:29:05,941 --> 00:29:07,060 God above! 701 00:29:07,901 --> 00:29:11,540 Because Lisa's definition of local produce 702 00:29:11,620 --> 00:29:14,421 had come to the attention of the authorities. 703 00:29:15,981 --> 00:29:19,221 I've had an annoying email from the council 704 00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:21,820 which says that, um, 705 00:29:21,860 --> 00:29:24,701 the stuff we sell in the farm shop 706 00:29:24,741 --> 00:29:26,140 has to be from a producer 707 00:29:26,221 --> 00:29:27,380 based solely within 708 00:29:27,421 --> 00:29:30,060 West Oxfordshire's district boundaries 709 00:29:30,100 --> 00:29:33,580 and they're saying that some of the pâté 710 00:29:33,620 --> 00:29:35,140 and cheese and what-have-you 711 00:29:35,181 --> 00:29:36,380 is from Gloucestershire. 712 00:29:36,461 --> 00:29:38,540 I mean, there's a pandemic going on. 713 00:29:38,620 --> 00:29:41,181 Millions of people are unemployed. 714 00:29:41,261 --> 00:29:42,780 We have a little business that 715 00:29:42,820 --> 00:29:45,340 now has five people on the payroll, 716 00:29:46,340 --> 00:29:48,820 we're supporting local farms and local businesses 717 00:29:48,901 --> 00:29:49,981 and now we have to have 718 00:29:50,021 --> 00:29:52,300 an enforcement case opened on us. 719 00:29:54,181 --> 00:29:56,340 I mean, God, give me strength! 720 00:29:56,981 --> 00:29:59,461 [country music playing] 721 00:29:59,540 --> 00:30:03,021 Fortunately, I had already had a genius idea 722 00:30:03,100 --> 00:30:06,221 for making the produce very local. 723 00:30:06,300 --> 00:30:10,501 All right. I put the bee honeycomb stuff. 724 00:30:10,580 --> 00:30:15,340 I'd decided to turn my spare beeswax into scented candles. 725 00:30:15,741 --> 00:30:16,620 Oh! 726 00:30:16,701 --> 00:30:21,060 Taking my inspiration for the scent from a Hollywood A-lister. 727 00:30:22,300 --> 00:30:23,620 What do you think of that? 728 00:30:23,701 --> 00:30:24,701 [gasps] 729 00:30:25,860 --> 00:30:27,501 And not just lavender. 730 00:30:29,340 --> 00:30:30,620 A spring onion. 731 00:30:34,540 --> 00:30:36,461 Just a hint of broad bean. 732 00:30:40,021 --> 00:30:41,300 And there we are. 733 00:30:42,580 --> 00:30:43,780 Let that set. 734 00:30:46,221 --> 00:30:51,021 At the shop, Lisa was delighted with the results. 735 00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:56,580 You cannot label that "This smells like my bollocks." 736 00:30:57,580 --> 00:30:58,701 You just can't. 737 00:30:59,380 --> 00:31:01,300 Gwyneth Paltrow has made a fortune 738 00:31:01,380 --> 00:31:03,461 from her candles which smell like her... 739 00:31:03,540 --> 00:31:05,021 [mouthing] vagina. 740 00:31:05,100 --> 00:31:06,221 Do you think these will sell more 741 00:31:06,261 --> 00:31:07,780 because it smells like your bollocks? 742 00:31:07,820 --> 00:31:10,261 [Jeremy] I've also-- Look, "These beeswax scented candles 743 00:31:10,340 --> 00:31:11,741 were handmade by Jeremy Clarkson. 744 00:31:11,820 --> 00:31:13,380 You'd never know it, but it's true," 745 00:31:13,461 --> 00:31:15,580 and I've signed it to prove I made them. 746 00:31:16,300 --> 00:31:18,300 [country music playing] 747 00:31:18,380 --> 00:31:21,140 Meanwhile, down at the trout pond, 748 00:31:21,221 --> 00:31:24,580 Kaleb, now safely back in his natural habitat, 749 00:31:24,661 --> 00:31:27,741 was busy protecting another source of revenue. 750 00:31:29,421 --> 00:31:32,780 [Kaleb] I am putting a fence up. An electric fence up. 751 00:31:32,860 --> 00:31:36,380 We've seen a couple of dead fish on the side. 752 00:31:38,540 --> 00:31:42,780 Oh, poor fishy. It's got some puncture wounds on it. 753 00:31:42,860 --> 00:31:47,421 So, Jeremy put a trap camera down here 754 00:31:47,501 --> 00:31:50,261 to see what was causing the fish to die. 755 00:31:52,661 --> 00:31:54,221 Turned out there was an otter. 756 00:31:55,421 --> 00:31:58,380 So, I'm putting up an electric fence 757 00:31:58,461 --> 00:32:01,021 around the outside of the pond where the fish are, 758 00:32:01,100 --> 00:32:03,661 to try and stop that otter getting in. 759 00:32:03,741 --> 00:32:05,860 But we've also had to put this up because 760 00:32:05,901 --> 00:32:07,140 the heron keeps coming in. 761 00:32:09,021 --> 00:32:11,140 That's another thing that will take a fish. 762 00:32:11,221 --> 00:32:12,941 So, I've had to put this fence up, 763 00:32:13,021 --> 00:32:15,820 put the owl up to try and scare the heron away... 764 00:32:16,461 --> 00:32:17,300 [grunts] 765 00:32:18,701 --> 00:32:20,580 and put a metal man up 766 00:32:20,661 --> 00:32:22,661 to try and deter him as well. 767 00:32:23,780 --> 00:32:25,620 There's a lot of work in fish. 768 00:32:26,300 --> 00:32:30,300 [country music playing] 769 00:32:30,380 --> 00:32:32,300 [Jeremy] A week later, my local pub 770 00:32:32,340 --> 00:32:34,780 agreed to put our trout on its menu. 771 00:32:35,981 --> 00:32:38,701 So, I went down to the pond with a net, 772 00:32:38,741 --> 00:32:41,221 feeling weirdly conflicted. 773 00:32:41,261 --> 00:32:43,060 -The only reason this fence is here... 774 00:32:43,100 --> 00:32:43,701 -Yeah. 775 00:32:43,741 --> 00:32:45,780 ...is to stop the otter eating the fish, 776 00:32:45,860 --> 00:32:47,860 so we can sell them to rich people in the pub. 777 00:32:47,941 --> 00:32:48,780 [Lisa] Yeah. 778 00:32:48,860 --> 00:32:50,901 The whole point of this was wilding. 779 00:32:50,981 --> 00:32:54,580 [Jeremy] I then decided I didn't really care about that, 780 00:32:54,661 --> 00:32:56,181 so we got to work. 781 00:32:56,261 --> 00:32:58,100 [whispering] You throw some food in. 782 00:32:58,181 --> 00:32:59,300 -[whispering] Put the food in first? 783 00:32:59,340 --> 00:32:59,981 -Yeah. 784 00:33:00,021 --> 00:33:01,100 Yeah. 785 00:33:01,181 --> 00:33:03,340 Then I'll be ready to pounce with the net. 786 00:33:03,421 --> 00:33:05,540 Fish, fish, fish, fish. 787 00:33:05,620 --> 00:33:07,741 You can't call them. They're not like dogs. 788 00:33:07,820 --> 00:33:08,860 Well, I do normally. 789 00:33:08,941 --> 00:33:10,901 [Jeremy] Right. You can see where my net's gonna go in? 790 00:33:10,981 --> 00:33:11,100 -Yeah. 791 00:33:11,140 --> 00:33:12,661 -That's where you've got to chuck it. 792 00:33:12,701 --> 00:33:14,461 I need to get them food first. Fish, fish. 793 00:33:14,540 --> 00:33:16,580 No. Fish, please, please. 794 00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:17,181 -Will you just put it where the net is? 795 00:33:17,221 --> 00:33:18,901 -Okay, fine. There. 796 00:33:18,941 --> 00:33:21,060 -Thank you. -See, they know you're there. 797 00:33:21,820 --> 00:33:24,661 They don't-- They're not Stephen Hawking. 798 00:33:28,901 --> 00:33:30,261 Shit! 799 00:33:31,981 --> 00:33:33,501 [sighs] 800 00:33:33,580 --> 00:33:35,021 -Ready? -No. 801 00:33:35,100 --> 00:33:37,421 Steady and go. 802 00:33:38,501 --> 00:33:40,140 -[Lisa] Oh, dear, I think I've got some. 803 00:33:40,181 --> 00:33:41,221 -Oh, well done. 804 00:33:41,261 --> 00:33:42,140 [Lisa] Oh, my God! Yeah, I've got like... 805 00:33:42,221 --> 00:33:43,860 [Jeremy] Quickly, in the bucket, before they do dying. 806 00:33:43,941 --> 00:33:44,981 [Lisa] ...eight. Oh! 807 00:33:45,060 --> 00:33:45,941 [country music playing] 808 00:33:46,021 --> 00:33:48,741 [Jeremy] Thanks to my accuracy with the fish food, 809 00:33:48,820 --> 00:33:51,100 Lisa had landed a good catch. 810 00:33:51,181 --> 00:33:53,941 [Lisa] That's awesome. My God, they just look delicious. 811 00:33:54,021 --> 00:33:55,580 Now we've got to get them to the pub. 812 00:33:55,661 --> 00:33:56,941 Come on, because it's lunchtime in a minute. 813 00:33:57,021 --> 00:33:58,021 Okay. 814 00:33:58,981 --> 00:34:01,540 They've got to go in there and then, hilariously, 815 00:34:01,620 --> 00:34:06,340 the law of England says they have to be oxygenated. 816 00:34:06,421 --> 00:34:07,860 So, I have to have an oxygen tank 817 00:34:07,901 --> 00:34:09,540 to keep the water oxygenated 818 00:34:09,580 --> 00:34:11,781 for the, what is it, six-minute journey, 819 00:34:11,821 --> 00:34:13,180 seven-minute journey to the pub 820 00:34:13,180 --> 00:34:14,941 where they're going to be killed. 821 00:34:15,021 --> 00:34:16,100 Right. 822 00:34:16,781 --> 00:34:18,421 [country music playing] 823 00:34:20,821 --> 00:34:23,021 Very steep. Sorry about this, fishes. 824 00:34:24,341 --> 00:34:26,140 Come on, car. You know you can do it. 825 00:34:26,180 --> 00:34:27,700 You know you want to do it. 826 00:34:35,060 --> 00:34:38,501 Delivered fish before, of course, in, um, Mozambique. 827 00:34:39,781 --> 00:34:40,821 That went well. 828 00:34:44,341 --> 00:34:45,540 All right, it's heavy. 829 00:34:47,461 --> 00:34:50,021 Vincent, look what I've got. 830 00:34:50,100 --> 00:34:51,180 Wow! 831 00:34:51,220 --> 00:34:53,421 [Jeremy] Just caught them a minute ago. 832 00:34:53,501 --> 00:34:54,901 -Trout. -Baby trout? 833 00:34:54,981 --> 00:34:57,861 Well, you say that. Succulent. 834 00:34:57,941 --> 00:34:59,501 That's the one. That's got the-- 835 00:34:59,580 --> 00:35:02,140 you can just turn him over. 836 00:35:02,220 --> 00:35:04,700 That's where the heron's beak nearly got him, 837 00:35:04,821 --> 00:35:06,421 so he's a lucky fish. 838 00:35:06,501 --> 00:35:08,501 [man laughs] Not for long, not for long. 839 00:35:09,620 --> 00:35:11,301 [Jeremy] And they're two quid each. 840 00:35:11,381 --> 00:35:11,981 -Let's get them inside then. All right. 841 00:35:12,021 --> 00:35:13,461 -All right, you do that. 842 00:35:13,501 --> 00:35:15,341 -Yeah. -All right, chaps. Bye, fish. 843 00:35:15,421 --> 00:35:16,540 Yeah, take care. 844 00:35:16,620 --> 00:35:18,660 [banjo music playing] 845 00:35:21,901 --> 00:35:23,381 [Jeremy] As June ended, my new farm projects 846 00:35:24,700 --> 00:35:27,781 were starting to tick over quite nicely. 847 00:35:29,021 --> 00:35:31,100 -Hello. How are you? -Hello. I'm good. You? 848 00:35:31,180 --> 00:35:32,180 Good, good. Fine, thanks. 849 00:35:32,220 --> 00:35:34,421 Super. I've got some bags here. 850 00:35:34,501 --> 00:35:37,781 [Jeremy] Thanks to a brief respite from lockdown, 851 00:35:37,861 --> 00:35:40,461 more people were visiting the farm shop. 852 00:35:40,540 --> 00:35:42,421 [Lisa] It's really good to be finally open. 853 00:35:43,700 --> 00:35:47,461 [Jeremy] And the pub had more customers for our trout. 854 00:35:47,540 --> 00:35:50,700 [dramatic music playing] 855 00:35:50,821 --> 00:35:54,060 However, these ventures were all sideshows 856 00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:56,540 compared to the main event. 857 00:35:56,580 --> 00:35:58,660 The engine room of the farm. 858 00:36:00,381 --> 00:36:01,660 The crops. 859 00:36:01,700 --> 00:36:05,421 Which had been in the ground now for eight months. 860 00:36:05,501 --> 00:36:08,220 [dramatic music playing] 861 00:36:40,060 --> 00:36:41,301 For most of that time, 862 00:36:41,341 --> 00:36:44,981 nature had been a vindictive bastard. 863 00:36:45,021 --> 00:36:49,501 But somehow, the barley wasn't all completely ruined. 864 00:36:53,861 --> 00:36:57,301 [Charlie] Actually, it looks okay. It looks pretty good. 865 00:36:57,381 --> 00:36:59,821 Given the year it's had, you know, it was late drilled. 866 00:36:59,901 --> 00:37:01,660 -Very late. -Really wet. 867 00:37:01,700 --> 00:37:03,060 Very wet. 868 00:37:03,140 --> 00:37:04,421 Really dry. 869 00:37:04,501 --> 00:37:05,700 Then it was very hot. 870 00:37:05,821 --> 00:37:09,620 And actually, you know, it's a perfectly good crop of barley. 871 00:37:10,501 --> 00:37:13,941 [Jeremy] Charlie then announced that harvesting was imminent. 872 00:37:14,381 --> 00:37:16,341 Probably four or five, five or six days away. 873 00:37:16,421 --> 00:37:17,060 -There's a bit of green on the stem. 874 00:37:17,100 --> 00:37:18,140 -Oh, really? 875 00:37:18,180 --> 00:37:19,981 Yeah. This is the worst bit. The middle. 876 00:37:20,021 --> 00:37:21,861 The rest of it is pretty ready. 877 00:37:21,901 --> 00:37:23,100 -Really? -Yeah. 878 00:37:23,660 --> 00:37:26,180 [country music playing] 879 00:37:26,220 --> 00:37:28,501 [Jeremy] We then moved onto the next crop. 880 00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:31,341 [Charlie] So, this is oil seed rape, as you well know. 881 00:37:31,421 --> 00:37:32,341 [Jeremy] Yes. 882 00:37:32,421 --> 00:37:35,381 [Charlie] And these are the oil seed. They come out of the pods 883 00:37:35,461 --> 00:37:37,821 and they should be nice and black all over. 884 00:37:37,901 --> 00:37:39,381 Mmm, it's a few days. 885 00:37:39,421 --> 00:37:41,660 It's probably a good ten days away yet. 886 00:37:41,660 --> 00:37:42,781 -Ten days? -Ten days. 887 00:37:42,861 --> 00:37:45,660 -And then we can harvest it? -Then we can harvest it. 888 00:37:45,700 --> 00:37:46,901 Excellent. So, is there 889 00:37:46,941 --> 00:37:49,140 anything else left to do with this? 890 00:37:49,180 --> 00:37:50,901 Kill it, to make sure it's dead. 891 00:37:52,180 --> 00:37:53,180 I'm sorry? 892 00:37:53,220 --> 00:37:55,620 Well, I know it sounds a little bizarre. 893 00:37:56,700 --> 00:37:59,781 The rape is dying naturally and the top is ready, 894 00:37:59,861 --> 00:38:02,901 but the bottom is still very much alive. 895 00:38:02,981 --> 00:38:04,981 But you're saying you want to kill off 896 00:38:05,021 --> 00:38:06,660 the living bit of the oil seed rape? 897 00:38:06,660 --> 00:38:07,821 -The living bit of the oil seed rape. 898 00:38:07,861 --> 00:38:08,220 -Why? 899 00:38:08,301 --> 00:38:10,180 Because it will, 900 00:38:10,180 --> 00:38:12,220 it just makes it easier to cut the crop. 901 00:38:12,301 --> 00:38:14,501 So, what does a combine do? It comes on, cuts it there. 902 00:38:14,580 --> 00:38:16,341 It cuts that, so that'll, you know, the knife. 903 00:38:16,421 --> 00:38:17,301 Right, which could do that. 904 00:38:17,381 --> 00:38:19,060 Or do you want it-- Is it easier when it's dead? 905 00:38:19,140 --> 00:38:20,180 -It's easier, much easier when it's dead. 906 00:38:20,220 --> 00:38:20,861 -Okay. 907 00:38:20,901 --> 00:38:22,220 [Charlie] Much, much easier when it's dead. 908 00:38:22,341 --> 00:38:25,700 And we're not killing the seeds, because the seed's encapsulated. 909 00:38:25,821 --> 00:38:27,781 [Jeremy] So we just drive a harvester through it? 910 00:38:27,861 --> 00:38:29,021 Yeah. Have you got one? 911 00:38:29,100 --> 00:38:31,461 -No. We're gonna rent one. -Very good. 912 00:38:31,540 --> 00:38:32,660 -So, you've got a contractor coming in? 913 00:38:32,700 --> 00:38:33,100 -Yep. 914 00:38:33,140 --> 00:38:35,421 -A few things to be wary. -Yeah. 915 00:38:35,501 --> 00:38:36,901 Moisture. 916 00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:38,301 -Moisture? -Moisture. 917 00:38:38,381 --> 00:38:40,461 It needs to be between six and nine percent. 918 00:38:41,461 --> 00:38:42,981 So, moisture is the main thing 919 00:38:43,060 --> 00:38:46,580 and the contractor will possibly want to just say, 920 00:38:46,660 --> 00:38:48,981 "Oh, it's only ten and a half percent, 921 00:38:49,021 --> 00:38:50,180 we'll come and combine," 922 00:38:50,180 --> 00:38:51,861 and you say "No." 923 00:38:51,941 --> 00:38:53,301 I said you say... 924 00:38:53,381 --> 00:38:54,301 You say? 925 00:38:54,381 --> 00:38:56,381 -I won't be here. -Can you imagine-- Can you-- 926 00:38:56,461 --> 00:38:58,021 What do you mean, you won't be here? 927 00:38:58,100 --> 00:38:59,821 -I'm going on holiday. -What? 928 00:38:59,901 --> 00:39:01,421 Well, you'll be fine. 929 00:39:01,501 --> 00:39:03,021 You don't need me by then. You'll be fine. 930 00:39:03,100 --> 00:39:04,381 -I do need you. -You'll be fine. 931 00:39:04,461 --> 00:39:05,180 Hold on a minute. 932 00:39:05,180 --> 00:39:07,301 All this and then it comes to harvest... 933 00:39:07,341 --> 00:39:08,180 [laughs] 934 00:39:08,301 --> 00:39:10,861 I'm no use. Like, what do you want me for? 935 00:39:10,941 --> 00:39:12,060 Well, how am I gonna be able to tell 936 00:39:12,140 --> 00:39:12,781 whether that's got three 937 00:39:12,821 --> 00:39:14,981 percent moisture or 17 percent? 938 00:39:15,021 --> 00:39:17,021 Well, you put it in your moisture meter. 939 00:39:17,100 --> 00:39:18,941 Is there a moisture-o-meter for that? 940 00:39:19,021 --> 00:39:20,580 -Have you not got a moisture meter? 941 00:39:20,620 --> 00:39:21,981 -No. 942 00:39:22,021 --> 00:39:23,180 Ah. 943 00:39:23,220 --> 00:39:25,060 Oh, God! 944 00:39:25,140 --> 00:39:26,901 [dramatic music playing] 945 00:39:26,981 --> 00:39:28,821 [Jeremy] My first harvest. 946 00:39:28,901 --> 00:39:30,901 This is so much harder. 947 00:39:30,981 --> 00:39:33,180 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! 948 00:39:33,301 --> 00:39:34,540 Wait, wait! Whoa! 949 00:39:34,620 --> 00:39:37,381 [indistinct] 950 00:39:37,461 --> 00:39:38,461 [Jeremy] I have no idea. 951 00:39:38,540 --> 00:39:40,180 Twenty lorries you should have organized. 952 00:39:40,301 --> 00:39:41,301 Twenty lorries? 953 00:39:41,381 --> 00:39:43,100 Twenty lorries. And it's gonna rain tonight. 954 00:39:43,540 --> 00:39:44,540 You've fucked up. 955 00:39:45,501 --> 00:39:47,501 [music playing]