1
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<font color="#ffff00">Provided by explosiveskull</font>
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

2
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Oh, some people
really don't care, Violet.

3
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They don't.

4
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I know that.

5
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They just let stuff happen
up there

6
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- and they roll with it.
- Yeah, I know.

7
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Content with whatever random
chance delivers to them.

8
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:04,491
But that's not me, Violet.

9
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,293
- Really?
- Sorry.

10
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I'm talking about control,
Violet.

11
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- I know.
- Carefully exercised,

12
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meticulous control.

13
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- Oh, I got a call coming in.
- Mhm.

14
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- Do not hang up.
- Ugh.

15
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Hi, hi, hi, hi.

16
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:25,379
Hi, hi, hi, sorry, yes, yes.

17
00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:29,316
Would it help if I told you
that I'm on mushrooms?

18
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No, okay, they're waiting
for you inside.

19
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- Who are you talking to?
- Sorry, nothing, Bob.

20
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Because life is too short,
Violet.

21
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Hey, David,
this is coming off your time.

22
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Well, you...
You know what I mean.

23
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- Uh-huh.
- I think the expression

24
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:45,733
- still applies here.
- Welcome to the Death of Comedy!

25
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Yeah!

26
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,335
How's everybody doing?

27
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:50,237
Hello, how's everybody
doing tonight?

28
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Fair.

29
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I respect that.

30
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:54,241
How's everybody else doing?

31
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So when you come
to the show with a sack

32
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of bottom-shelf booze
it makes a difference.

33
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Not just to the talent
of the show

34
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:04,284
but to the prestige
of the show itself.

35
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Top-shelf for now on, all right?

36
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I don't want us
to look like assholes.

37
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Oh, and uh, the... the dark
of the moon is coming up.

38
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- So uh, I... you know.
- Yep, I know.

39
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Life's too short, Violet.

40
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That's how racism works,
right, you know?

41
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I don't mean like you know,

42
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muttered, in-traffic,
casual, weekend racism.

43
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Okay, alright!

44
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With... and with that
searing social insight,

45
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methinks this crowd has been
sufficiently warmed up.

46
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You may know our
first performer from college.

47
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That's how I know him.
Give it up for Andy Jocelyn!

48
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Uh, hi, I'm Andy Jocelyn.

49
00:04:02,043 --> 00:04:04,979
Um, tell you all a bit...
a little bit about myself.

50
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:10,618
Uh, when I was 6 years old,
I was first diagnosed as a hunk.

51
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And it's been tough,
it's been tough ever since...

52
00:04:12,754 --> 00:04:14,387
- Hey, you're Violet, right?
- Yeah.

53
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Hi, I'm uh, Dax Hanlan.

54
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,925
- Hi.
- ...every girl I go home with

55
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- has a body pillow.
- I'm from Boston.

56
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,697
And why are they all named
Idris Elba?

57
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,866
Explain that to
me. Explain that.

58
00:04:24,899 --> 00:04:27,635
- Is this your show?
- The one you're talking through?

59
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,437
- Yeah, it's my show.
- Cool.

60
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Well, I was a uh,
regular at the Comedy Pit,

61
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back in Boston, and then
Dave's Douchebag of Comedy

62
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- I did a few times, so...
- That's really... okay just...

63
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yeah, you can message
the show page

64
00:04:38,513 --> 00:04:40,615
and I'll throw you up
if we have a spot for you.

65
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:43,050
- Awesome, thank you, um.
- That was all I could remember.

66
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Oh, no, hold on.
This is true.

67
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I was uh, I was driving home
last night

68
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and uh, I went through
a DUI checkpoint, totally sober.

69
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Have you ever done this?

70
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Oh my God,
it's the greatest feeling.

71
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I've never been
so confident in my life.

72
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I've never been so confident.

73
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I'm like, "Oh yeah,
I'm turning the radio up.

74
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You'll have to ask
for me to turn it down."

75
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Wait, can you get...
I was wearing a Polo.

76
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So you book Too Late, right?

77
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And he pulled me out
of the car in a Polo shirt.

78
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- No, I don't book Too Late.
- Aren't you... you're Bob Devore's

79
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- assistant, right?
- Sorry what was it? Dax?

80
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- Yeah, that's it.
- Yeah, I am Bob's assistant,

81
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but I don't book that show.
I've never booked that show.

82
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No one will ever book
the show other than Bob,

83
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because according to him,
basically

84
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nobody's good enough to do it.
Okay?

85
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:27,895
And I don't really know
how things worked at whatever

86
00:05:27,929 --> 00:05:30,430
you know, piss-stained wing hut
you came up in,

87
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:32,867
but around here,
generally speaking,

88
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:35,368
the way to get on a show
isn't harassing the booker

89
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of the show during the show.

90
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Got it?

91
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,943
So just message the show page.

92
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- Okay.
- Right, okay.

93
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:46,379
These other local hangout
yokels, they're like...

94
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- Fuckin' stuck-up bitch.
- "How do you know my dog?"

95
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I was like, "I am too high to
be at the bar." This is crazy.

96
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They didn't know my dog,
they just heard me

97
00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:55,723
talking to my dog.

98
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:57,925
And then I was like,
"What, what, what, what?

99
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Wh... why are you
talking to my dog?

100
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Sir, this is a dognapping
in progress.

101
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I'm not having any of it.
Are you kidding?

102
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You're gonna steal
my dog under my watch? No.

103
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But that's how
human trafficking starts.

104
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If you had any idea
how tired I was, you would

105
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not be making bacon right now.

106
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Hmm, you are a great friend
and roommate, Vi,

107
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but between you and bacon,

108
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bacon wins every time.

109
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Wow.

110
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That is so nice.

111
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Oh, how did TDOC go last night?

112
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Aside from David being
on mushrooms the entire time,

113
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- it was really good.
- Are you serious?

114
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- Yeah, whole time.
- Is there anything

115
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- he won't do on mushrooms?
- No.

116
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God, that lady from TelaVid,
she show up?

117
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- Oh, Donna Rudinsky?
- Yes.

118
00:06:54,215 --> 00:06:57,618
No, she did not come,
but uh, I have sent her office

119
00:06:57,652 --> 00:06:59,887
so many invites that they
probably think I'm a stalker.

120
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Oh, well, answer me this.

121
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Why do you think people
go to a show?

122
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- To laugh.
- No.

123
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They come to a show because
there's something there.

124
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,733
- What's that?
- They come because you've

125
00:07:12,767 --> 00:07:14,835
created something of value.

126
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,938
Will you tell that to uh,
the woman who runs Coffee Lust,

127
00:07:16,971 --> 00:07:18,706
because she threatens
to shut down my show

128
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:25,579
- like every other week.
- Yeah, but she hasn't, because?

129
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- Value.
- Yes!

130
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- Yes!
- She gets it!

131
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,885
- Look at that.
- Okay, yes, so value yourself

132
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,853
- Vi.
- Alright, well, it's not

133
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- as easy as that, Belinda.
- Mm-mm, no, no, no, no.

134
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,657
Mm-mm, get my name
out of your mouth

135
00:07:36,691 --> 00:07:38,491
if you're gonna say stuff
like that, okay.

136
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It's not easy,
but that's how it's done.

137
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:43,965
Value yourself.

138
00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:47,735
- Okay. Thank you.
- Mhmm.

139
00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:59,080
- You jumped.
- Uh, the water sloshed.

140
00:07:59,113 --> 00:08:01,115
You jumped like a gun went off,
Vi.

141
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:04,819
- I'm... I'm tired.
- No. No, I'm tired.

142
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:07,021
I am tired of watching you
slave for this guy

143
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:08,723
thinking it's gonna
lead anywhere.

144
00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:10,524
- I don't slave!
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

145
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:11,892
Do not lie to me today.

146
00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:13,828
Today is bacon day.

147
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,896
Do not ruin it with your lies.

148
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:19,867
- It's not so bad.
- He's never gonna let you go.

149
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:24,071
I feel like I'm on an island.

150
00:08:24,105 --> 00:08:26,140
There's like... there's like
a million bridges off it

151
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:31,245
you know, but every single one
burns the second I try to leave.

152
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,948
That job is your whole life.

153
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,583
I can't even remember
the last time

154
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:39,153
there was any Vi-oriented
penis in this house.

155
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,855
Oh, well, it...

156
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,757
- It's a drought, okay?
- Okay, easy.

157
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,925
- Yeah.
- There's more to life than...

158
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:46,994
Oh, than a boss that only lets
you peek in the party

159
00:08:47,028 --> 00:08:50,197
but never invites you in?

160
00:08:50,231 --> 00:08:51,732
- Touché, Belinda.
- Yeah.

161
00:08:51,766 --> 00:08:53,567
- Touché.
- Okay, go.

162
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:54,869
- I'm going, I'm gone.
- Go scurry off to your phone.

163
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,837
- Okay.
- Oh, and you're welcome

164
00:08:56,871 --> 00:08:59,707
- for the bacon, by the way!
- Oh my...

165
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:02,176
Alright, cue one.

166
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:06,013
Cue two.

167
00:09:06,047 --> 00:09:08,983
Next.

168
00:09:12,253 --> 00:09:14,088
What the fuck... Fredo?

169
00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,791
- Huh?
- What the fuck is this?

170
00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:18,159
Cue three.

171
00:09:18,192 --> 00:09:20,261
No, the... the blue,
what gel is this?

172
00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:21,762
Hmm?

173
00:09:21,796 --> 00:09:23,931
The blue, what gel did you use?

174
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:26,033
It's a 60.

175
00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:28,736
No this... mist blue.

176
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:30,805
I asked for a mist blue.

177
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,706
Yeah, mist blue, this is 60.

178
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:36,343
No, 61 is mist blue,
60 is no color blue.

179
00:09:36,377 --> 00:09:39,080
You want me to look like
a corpse up here?

180
00:09:39,113 --> 00:09:40,281
My bad, sorry.

181
00:09:40,314 --> 00:09:42,016
Alright, well, switch it out.

182
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,717
Corpse anyway.

183
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:46,987
Oh, I'm glad you could make it.

184
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,396
Is this what you got?

185
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:58,132
- Yeah, that's what they had.
- Ugh.

186
00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,867
Alright, look,
if Gina gets upset,

187
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,402
it's your head, not mine.

188
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,304
You got Gina Obispo?

189
00:10:03,337 --> 00:10:04,939
Yeah, she was in town.

190
00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:06,340
Nice get.

191
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:07,942
What do you think I do all day?

192
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:10,177
Set this up backstage.

193
00:10:10,211 --> 00:10:12,713
- Fredo.
- Yeah?

194
00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,648
Let's run it again,
uh, this time I'll pretend

195
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,784
that I don't know
the blues are all fucked up.

196
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:19,353
Yeah, I'll pretend I care.

197
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:23,124
Oh, and uh,
Violet, don't forget,

198
00:10:23,157 --> 00:10:26,227
dark of the moon.

199
00:10:27,962 --> 00:10:30,731
I don't know why
but I feel so cosmo tonight.

200
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:31,999
Cosmopolitan pink.

201
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,734
Just add vodka
and I'm ready to drink.

202
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,936
Aw, listen to me going on
about pink martinis with

203
00:10:35,970 --> 00:10:37,838
and without cherries, here
I am supposed to be watching

204
00:10:37,872 --> 00:10:39,807
my figure and I tell you I have,
I've been watching it for years

205
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:40,908
and I still can't figure out
where it went,

206
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,343
I know it's inside me somewhere.

207
00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:43,878
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

208
00:10:47,348 --> 00:10:48,849
Hello? Oh, hi.

209
00:10:48,883 --> 00:10:51,819
- Do you have any ice back here?
- Hm?

210
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:54,288
I mean I like warm well whiskey
as much as the next lady.

211
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,389
- I just thought...
- Right.

212
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,391
Get lucky
and live like a princess.

213
00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:59,827
You a comic?

214
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,729
I saw you writing
in that notebook.

215
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,197
No, no, I just... I work for Bob.

216
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,366
- Is he making you take notes?
- No, no, no, no,

217
00:11:05,399 --> 00:11:07,368
this is just something
I'm working on.

218
00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:10,771
Hmm, aren't we all
working on something?

219
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,306
He's a cocksucker, right?

220
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,375
I don't...

221
00:11:14,408 --> 00:11:16,043
It's okay, I won't tell.

222
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:17,745
You can admit it. Say it.

223
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,880
I think it's more like
he just like loves

224
00:11:19,914 --> 00:11:21,482
for the show to be perfect.

225
00:11:21,516 --> 00:11:24,752
So he's a cocksucker.

226
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:25,786
Yeah.

227
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:28,155
Don't worry, uh...

228
00:11:28,189 --> 00:11:30,758
- Violet.
- Violet!

229
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,293
They all are.

230
00:11:32,326 --> 00:11:34,395
- And you're a comic, so...
- Here she is...

231
00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:35,829
- I gotta go.
- ...Gina Obispo, everybody!

232
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:39,800
- Be professional.
- Yep, to you.

233
00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:45,439
Hey, did you guys know
you can do a bunch of yoga

234
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,241
and still be an asshole?

235
00:11:49,544 --> 00:11:52,746
My husband told me that,
random fact, I know.

236
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:53,781
And then he said,

237
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:54,949
"It's not a random fact.

238
00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:58,819
I'm telling you to your face.

239
00:11:58,852 --> 00:11:59,920
You're an asshole."

240
00:12:02,323 --> 00:12:04,158
- Very intimate.
- Pretty great.

241
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:05,527
You hear the laughs immediately.

242
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,329
Yeah, this is a treat.

243
00:12:08,362 --> 00:12:10,130
- Thanks for having me.
- Next time better bourbon.

244
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:13,100
- Hey, it's the comedian.
- Hey, nice act.

245
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,336
The comedian?

246
00:12:15,369 --> 00:12:16,770
Yeah, we met backstage earlier.

247
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,939
No, no, this is Violet,
my assistant.

248
00:12:18,973 --> 00:12:21,842
Oh, are you... you have something
against women comedians?

249
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,877
Me? Never!

250
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,513
I had two on the show,
you one of them.

251
00:12:25,547 --> 00:12:27,281
- Yeah, you're counting them.
- Right? Come on.

252
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:28,349
On one hand.

253
00:12:28,382 --> 00:12:29,883
He's afraid of the competition.

254
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,418
Oh, knock it off.

255
00:12:31,452 --> 00:12:33,320
Do you need something?

256
00:12:33,354 --> 00:12:35,089
I was just hoping
maybe I could hang with Gina...

257
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,791
Hey, Bob, be careful
how you treat your assistants,

258
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:40,494
cause they know
where the bodies are buried.

259
00:12:40,528 --> 00:12:43,497
Well, Violet would never
leave me, would you, Violet?

260
00:12:43,531 --> 00:12:50,404
No, no, no, in fact, I think you
would probably die without me.

261
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:56,443
- Ah, Fredo!
- Uh, sorry.

262
00:12:56,477 --> 00:12:59,313
I forgot to ask um,
are you going to David's?

263
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:00,848
- Oh, right, the cult thing?
- Yeah.

264
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:03,317
- Yeah.
- Can I maybe ride with you?

265
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,052
Sure, yeah, I could use a drink.

266
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,320
- Let's go.
- Oh.

267
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:07,921
Well, not all the way
to the party,

268
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:10,424
- my apartment's on the way, so.
- So you wanted a...

269
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,960
- so you wanted a ride home?
- Mhm yeah, but you should go.

270
00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:14,161
- I should?
- Yes.

271
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,829
- Why?
- Because you seem tense.

272
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,298
No.

273
00:13:17,331 --> 00:13:19,567
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

274
00:13:19,601 --> 00:13:21,503
Drink, my children!

275
00:13:21,536 --> 00:13:26,073
Drink and become one
with the cosmos!

276
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:28,242
Ey, Vi's here!

277
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:31,345
The prophecy has been fulfilled!

278
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,247
Yes.

279
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,349
So your party
is mass suicide-themed?

280
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:36,850
There's no comedy police, Vi.

281
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:38,218
- Only censors.
- Oh.

282
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,453
Oh shit, that's really good.

283
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,854
I gotta... I gotta write that
down.

284
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,289
- Well...
- No, that's good.

285
00:13:42,323 --> 00:13:44,925
I don't know
if it's writing-down good.

286
00:13:55,369 --> 00:13:58,506
Ah.

287
00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:06,447
Oh yeah,
look at all that value, Vi.

288
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:13,454
Ugh!

289
00:14:13,487 --> 00:14:16,457
Ugh.

290
00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:19,460
Oh, congratulations, Violet,
you found a closet.

291
00:14:19,493 --> 00:14:22,029
- Slash my bedroom.
- Oh, sweet fancy cock.

292
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:25,132
- Hi.
- Hi, Jimmy Rhodes.

293
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:28,402
- Okay, hi.
- Hi, I rent David's closet.

294
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:31,271
- Violet.
- Hello.

295
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:35,677
Uh, it... I know it's small,
but it's also super pathetic.

296
00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:39,446
- So...
- That tickles.

297
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,215
Well, I think we're trapped.

298
00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:42,983
What? Like existential...

299
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:45,185
Uh, okay.

300
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:49,123
- Right.
- Naughty like that.

301
00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:54,228
So um, what do you do
when you're not in your closet?

302
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:57,097
I uh, I'm a dog walker.

303
00:14:57,131 --> 00:14:58,932
You're a comedian?

304
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:01,168
- Yes.
- Uh, okay.

305
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,170
Now, well,
you're in good company.

306
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:04,371
Oh, do you do stand-up?

307
00:15:04,405 --> 00:15:06,473
No, but I'm a booker.

308
00:15:06,508 --> 00:15:07,509
I know.

309
00:15:07,542 --> 00:15:09,309
Then why'd you ask?

310
00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:11,111
I don't wanna seem desperate.

311
00:15:11,145 --> 00:15:13,113
Mhm, all right.

312
00:15:13,147 --> 00:15:14,516
Well, this is where you ask for
a spot

313
00:15:14,549 --> 00:15:17,484
and I tell you
to just message the show page.

314
00:15:17,519 --> 00:15:19,019
Why would I do that?

315
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,088
I mean you've never even
seen me perform.

316
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,456
I could be terrible.

317
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:25,392
Jimmy Rhodes, thank you.

318
00:15:25,426 --> 00:15:27,729
You're welcome. For what?

319
00:15:27,762 --> 00:15:29,597
Well, for being
the least desperate person

320
00:15:29,631 --> 00:15:32,132
I've met in years.

321
00:15:32,166 --> 00:15:37,004
Well, give me a few minutes.

322
00:15:44,512 --> 00:15:47,147
Uh, just not much further
you can go in Columbus.

323
00:15:47,181 --> 00:15:48,550
- Ooh.
- Comedy-wise.

324
00:15:48,583 --> 00:15:50,184
- Yeah.
- There are like a few clubs

325
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,554
in the city, but you know,

326
00:15:52,587 --> 00:15:55,523
mostly you're going up
in between trivia nights

327
00:15:55,557 --> 00:15:58,492
and music open mics.

328
00:15:58,526 --> 00:16:00,294
It's pretty much
the same as here.

329
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,697
Except here you get paid.

330
00:16:02,730 --> 00:16:04,632
- So uh, where are you from?
- Here.

331
00:16:04,666 --> 00:16:06,333
Oh, you saved yourself the trip.

332
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:07,769
- You know, that's why I did it.
- Smart.

333
00:16:07,802 --> 00:16:09,303
Yeah, I came out
and I was just like,

334
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,573
Let's just... yeah,
save on gas for the family.

335
00:16:11,606 --> 00:16:13,340
Yeah, not a lot of babies
worry about that.

336
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:14,341
Well, those babies are dumb.

337
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,343
Okay.

338
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:17,444
No.

339
00:16:17,478 --> 00:16:18,613
No.

340
00:16:18,646 --> 00:16:21,148
No, no.

341
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:24,117
Oh.

342
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,787
I think they're done.

343
00:16:25,820 --> 00:16:28,388
Should probably make your escape

344
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:29,724
in case they get a second wind.

345
00:16:29,757 --> 00:16:31,058
Oh, yes.

346
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,459
Yeah, a third wind.

347
00:16:32,493 --> 00:16:37,699
Can I uh, can I give you uh,
my number?

348
00:16:37,732 --> 00:16:40,668
- Yes.
- Okay.

349
00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:47,207
It's R-H-O-D-E-S,

350
00:16:47,241 --> 00:16:48,776
just in case you forget.

351
00:16:48,810 --> 00:16:52,412
Forget all this?

352
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,348
Nuh-uh.

353
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,049
You know where to find me.

354
00:16:56,083 --> 00:17:00,588
Goodnight, Jimmy R-H-O-D-E-S.

355
00:17:00,622 --> 00:17:02,557
Um, goodnight, Violet.

356
00:17:02,590 --> 00:17:05,092
My friends call me "Vi".

357
00:17:25,547 --> 00:17:28,750
- Hey.
- Jesus!

358
00:17:28,783 --> 00:17:30,117
People should wear
fucking bells.

359
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,620
What's your problem?

360
00:17:32,654 --> 00:17:35,557
You don't remember me?

361
00:17:35,590 --> 00:17:37,257
Lance something?

362
00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:39,326
Dax!

363
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,295
- Dax from Boston.
- Okay.

364
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:42,162
Alright, Dax.

365
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,263
Good night, Dax.

366
00:17:43,297 --> 00:17:45,499
Hey, where are you going?

367
00:17:45,533 --> 00:17:47,200
I'm going home, it's late.

368
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,303
No, it's not.

369
00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:50,337
Yes, it is.

370
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,139
- No.
- Okay, stop.

371
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,609
- Look, it's early.
- Okay.

372
00:17:54,642 --> 00:17:57,812
You don't think I'm good enough
for your show, hmm?

373
00:17:57,845 --> 00:18:00,882
- Stop, give me the keys.
- Mm-mm.

374
00:18:00,915 --> 00:18:03,417
I'm gonna show you
how good I am.

375
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:04,451
You don't want this.

376
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:05,520
No.

377
00:18:05,553 --> 00:18:06,453
You really don't.

378
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:07,589
I really do.

379
00:18:07,622 --> 00:18:08,590
Please stop.

380
00:18:08,623 --> 00:18:10,290
Please, okay, please, stop.

381
00:18:10,324 --> 00:18:11,258
I want it.

382
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,493
- Too Late.
- Hm?

383
00:18:13,528 --> 00:18:17,397
I can... I can book you
on Too Late.

384
00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:18,733
Are you fuckin' with me?

385
00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:21,134
Come on!
That's what I'm talking about.

386
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:25,238
Okay, just come
to the next show.

387
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:26,406
You'll be ready for me?

388
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:30,344
Oh yeah, I'll be ready.

389
00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:31,345
I'll see you then.

390
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:33,715
Okay.

391
00:18:33,748 --> 00:18:34,882
Too Late.

392
00:18:34,916 --> 00:18:37,685
- Too Late.
- Hm?

393
00:18:51,666 --> 00:18:53,534
This... uh, I read this
really interesting fact today.

394
00:18:53,568 --> 00:18:56,904
I read that, uh,
more soldiers in the Civil War

395
00:18:56,938 --> 00:18:59,306
died from diarrhea

396
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,208
than from actual war wounds.

397
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,443
That's true.
Isn't that interesting?

398
00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:05,312
Yeah, I was reading about it,

399
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:10,217
because I am
a huge diarrhea buff.

400
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,587
You ever seen
Ken Burn's diarrhea?

401
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:13,788
18 hours...

402
00:19:13,821 --> 00:19:15,890
- The iPhone started...
- Boo.

403
00:19:15,923 --> 00:19:17,792
- Ah!
- What is this?

404
00:19:17,825 --> 00:19:19,694
No, give it back, Dax,
those are mine.

405
00:19:19,727 --> 00:19:21,261
I said give it back!

406
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,597
- Are these your jokes?
- Dax, stop.

407
00:19:22,630 --> 00:19:25,332
- I said give it back!
- Sh!

408
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,300
You're Bob Devore.

409
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:30,805
I'm Dax Hanlan from Boston.

410
00:19:30,838 --> 00:19:34,341
This is the comic I was,
uh, telling you about.

411
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:38,646
The new talent
you wanted me to find.

412
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:44,451
Well, enjoy the show, Dax.

413
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,554
Knock 'em dead, pops.

414
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:19,554
Hey, Bob?

415
00:20:19,587 --> 00:20:20,588
Come in.

416
00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:23,925
Hey.

417
00:20:23,958 --> 00:20:25,860
Bob, you remember Dax?

418
00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:29,296
Right.

419
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:31,431
See you in a couple of days,
Bob.

420
00:20:31,465 --> 00:20:33,467
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

421
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:37,004
You wanna stay
and uh, party with us?

422
00:20:37,038 --> 00:20:43,644
Ah, I wouldn't wanna
keep Bob waiting.

423
00:20:43,678 --> 00:20:45,613
Thanks, babe.

424
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,654
It's a pretty good show.

425
00:20:53,688 --> 00:20:55,556
I mean I thought the juggler
was a little bit faggy,

426
00:20:55,590 --> 00:21:01,394
- but it's your shit, right?
- It's not for everybody.

427
00:21:11,539 --> 00:21:13,641
Dude.

428
00:21:13,674 --> 00:21:17,377
I cannot believe
I'm about to rail lines

429
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,446
with Bob fucking Devore.

430
00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:22,315
It's unbelievable.

431
00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:27,688
You know, not to tell you how
to do your business or anything,

432
00:21:27,722 --> 00:21:31,092
but you gotta get yourself
a new assistant, dude.

433
00:21:31,125 --> 00:21:32,627
I mean she's a hot piece of ass
and everything,

434
00:21:32,660 --> 00:21:36,363
but she is way too stuck up.

435
00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:37,698
What the fuck?

436
00:21:37,732 --> 00:21:38,666
What the hell?

437
00:21:38,699 --> 00:21:39,534
Come on, man!

438
00:21:39,567 --> 00:21:40,968
What the hell?

439
00:21:43,070 --> 00:21:44,939
You keep the cocaine.
You can keep the cocaine,

440
00:21:44,972 --> 00:21:48,042
- I don't care!
- Goodbye, Dax.

441
00:21:48,075 --> 00:21:49,476
No!

442
00:21:49,510 --> 00:21:51,344
No!

443
00:21:51,378 --> 00:21:52,345
No!

444
00:22:00,922 --> 00:22:03,958
Fredo, I got soda!

445
00:22:03,991 --> 00:22:05,458
They didn't have
that cactus thing you like,

446
00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:07,094
but I got a Japanese one.

447
00:22:07,128 --> 00:22:10,430
Looked it up and it stands
for happy pineapple.

448
00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:13,668
How fun is that?

449
00:22:16,904 --> 00:22:18,940
Okay, Fredo?

450
00:22:18,973 --> 00:22:21,441
Fredo, popcorn machine is down.

451
00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:24,011
Above my pay grade.

452
00:22:24,045 --> 00:22:27,548
Hey, Fredo,
can you help me with this?

453
00:22:27,582 --> 00:22:28,649
I don't know
what any of it means.

454
00:22:28,683 --> 00:22:30,084
- Fredo!
- He's out.

455
00:22:30,117 --> 00:22:34,121
Ah! Bob, I thought
you were still recovering.

456
00:22:34,155 --> 00:22:37,390
Dax wasn't much of a meal.

457
00:22:37,424 --> 00:22:39,459
It's been like three days.

458
00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:42,462
It was like eating air.

459
00:22:42,495 --> 00:22:43,931
You're making me nervous,
Violet.

460
00:22:43,965 --> 00:22:45,766
Oh, I'm making you nervous?

461
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,467
I can make things happen
for you,

462
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:49,971
- but only if you do your job.
- I am doing my job!

463
00:22:50,004 --> 00:22:52,840
I drove all the way to Ontario
last week to scout talent.

464
00:22:52,874 --> 00:22:56,110
- And what did you find?
- It was Ontario.

465
00:22:56,143 --> 00:22:58,846
You went into this
with open eyes, Violet.

466
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,582
We could have ended it
right there, but you agreed.

467
00:23:01,616 --> 00:23:04,619
You've got four weeks
till the dark of the moon.

468
00:23:04,652 --> 00:23:06,687
I've been patient with you,
Violet.

469
00:23:06,721 --> 00:23:08,990
Don't test me.

470
00:23:24,138 --> 00:23:30,978
Listen, when you get inside,
please do me a favor...

471
00:23:31,012 --> 00:23:36,050
Wait, is that Violet Fields?

472
00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:49,664
Hey, Vi.

473
00:23:49,697 --> 00:23:50,865
Jimmy.

474
00:23:50,898 --> 00:23:53,801
Rhodes, R-H-O-D-E-S.

475
00:23:53,834 --> 00:23:55,002
Uh, how is the show going?

476
00:23:55,036 --> 00:23:56,237
Oh, it's about to start, so...

477
00:23:56,270 --> 00:23:57,772
Right, yeah.

478
00:23:57,805 --> 00:23:59,807
So you come to beg for a spot?

479
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,175
Yep, I'm the worst.

480
00:24:01,208 --> 00:24:02,810
Hey, are you coming in or what?

481
00:24:02,843 --> 00:24:04,512
Hey, yeah, give me one sec.

482
00:24:04,545 --> 00:24:05,947
Oh no, I... if you're busy,
I can just go away.

483
00:24:05,980 --> 00:24:08,716
No, no, Violet's never too busy
for her friends.

484
00:24:08,749 --> 00:24:10,217
- This is Jimmy.
- Hello, Jimmy.

485
00:24:10,251 --> 00:24:12,653
We met at David's, you know,
mass suicide party.

486
00:24:12,687 --> 00:24:15,957
- Oh, that's nice.
- Um, sorry.

487
00:24:15,990 --> 00:24:19,527
So I just give them
the one-minute light.

488
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:20,895
- What?
- When I'm running the show

489
00:24:20,928 --> 00:24:26,100
tonight,
so you can have a break.

490
00:24:26,133 --> 00:24:28,069
God damn it.

491
00:24:28,102 --> 00:24:29,937
I'm sorry I... I gotta get that.

492
00:24:29,971 --> 00:24:33,507
- No, I've got it.
- Violet!

493
00:24:33,541 --> 00:24:35,609
Hi, this is Violet,
please leave a message.

494
00:24:35,643 --> 00:24:38,646
- Pick up the phone!
- He hung up.

495
00:24:38,679 --> 00:24:42,283
Well, you have the night off,
do you wanna go get food?

496
00:24:42,316 --> 00:24:45,286
Yeah, Vi, do you?

497
00:24:45,319 --> 00:24:48,556
I...

498
00:24:55,863 --> 00:24:57,932
You know what? Fuck Bob.

499
00:24:57,965 --> 00:24:59,133
- Yeah, yeah!
- Yeah!

500
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:00,868
Fuck Bob.

501
00:25:00,901 --> 00:25:02,903
Is fuck Bob a "yes"?

502
00:25:02,937 --> 00:25:04,205
- Yeah.
- Cool.

503
00:25:04,238 --> 00:25:06,073
- Okay, yeah.
- Cool.

504
00:25:06,107 --> 00:25:07,808
Yeah, yeah, okay, go.
Get out of here.

505
00:25:07,842 --> 00:25:08,943
Get out of here.

506
00:25:08,976 --> 00:25:10,211
- He'll call.
- Bye, bye.

507
00:25:10,244 --> 00:25:14,281
- Thank you.
- Have fun!

508
00:25:14,315 --> 00:25:16,317
God, I hope she remembers
how to use that thing.

509
00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:18,019
Yeah, are we ready to start?
Where's Vi?

510
00:25:18,052 --> 00:25:22,757
Mm, she's not coming,
she is on a date.

511
00:25:22,790 --> 00:25:26,293
- Really?
- Yes, really.

512
00:25:26,327 --> 00:25:29,296
Are you on shrooms right now?

513
00:25:29,330 --> 00:25:30,965
No.

514
00:25:30,998 --> 00:25:33,868
Not as far as you know.

515
00:25:33,901 --> 00:25:35,903
It's good enough.

516
00:25:37,872 --> 00:25:40,775
Fuck it.

517
00:25:40,808 --> 00:25:42,276
So uh, how's the old closet?

518
00:25:42,309 --> 00:25:45,279
All right, it keeps me
off the streets, okay?

519
00:25:45,312 --> 00:25:48,215
Uh, I am looking for
like a nicer place,

520
00:25:48,249 --> 00:25:52,887
but uh, I don't know, you know?

521
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,022
No, I do not know. What?

522
00:25:55,056 --> 00:25:58,225
Right, um, my friend got me
this writing job uh,

523
00:25:58,259 --> 00:26:02,163
in New York on an award show
and once that was over,

524
00:26:02,196 --> 00:26:04,832
I was like,
"Well, I have this one sort of

525
00:26:04,865 --> 00:26:07,134
tenuous connection
to this place.

526
00:26:07,168 --> 00:26:09,203
What I should probably do
is move

527
00:26:09,236 --> 00:26:11,172
to the other side
of the country

528
00:26:11,205 --> 00:26:12,907
where I have no connections

529
00:26:12,940 --> 00:26:14,241
and know absolutely no one."

530
00:26:14,275 --> 00:26:15,910
That's a great plan.

531
00:26:15,943 --> 00:26:19,213
People often say,
"You can plan real well."

532
00:26:19,246 --> 00:26:21,215
Okay, but you know, David.

533
00:26:21,248 --> 00:26:22,917
Does anyone really know David?

534
00:26:22,950 --> 00:26:24,819
- Mm.
- Yeah.

535
00:26:24,852 --> 00:26:26,987
You know me.

536
00:26:27,021 --> 00:26:30,057
That I do.

537
00:26:30,091 --> 00:26:31,692
- Thanks for dinner.
- Oh.

538
00:26:31,725 --> 00:26:32,860
I really should have paid.

539
00:26:32,893 --> 00:26:34,228
I was the one who invited you.

540
00:26:34,261 --> 00:26:36,397
Jimmy, you live in a closet.

541
00:26:36,430 --> 00:26:37,698
You're funny, Violet.

542
00:26:37,731 --> 00:26:39,166
Mm.

543
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,835
I wasn't being
like condescending.

544
00:26:40,868 --> 00:26:44,138
It... that was
like an admission of envy.

545
00:26:44,171 --> 00:26:47,675
- Envy?
- I've just never really met

546
00:26:47,708 --> 00:26:52,046
anybody like you before.

547
00:26:56,350 --> 00:27:00,888
So why are you booking
but not performing?

548
00:27:00,921 --> 00:27:06,260
Uh, why am I...
I mean you know, life costs.

549
00:27:06,293 --> 00:27:08,095
I needed a job, and Bob offered,

550
00:27:08,129 --> 00:27:11,765
and I couldn't say no.

551
00:27:11,799 --> 00:27:14,001
Right, but not even
on your own show?

552
00:27:14,034 --> 00:27:16,170
Well, it'd be a conflict
of interest.

553
00:27:16,203 --> 00:27:18,305
The entire reason
people start shows

554
00:27:18,339 --> 00:27:20,908
is so they can book themselves
on said show.

555
00:27:20,941 --> 00:27:23,277
- Okay, well...
- So, it's a real racket.

556
00:27:23,310 --> 00:27:28,449
- Okay.
- Yeah.

557
00:27:28,482 --> 00:27:31,051
Mm, you know, I think...

558
00:27:31,085 --> 00:27:33,254
I think we all like start out

559
00:27:33,287 --> 00:27:37,358
with this idea of like
what we think we wanna be,

560
00:27:37,391 --> 00:27:42,830
but we end up
just being what we are.

561
00:27:45,799 --> 00:27:48,169
- Do you like ice cream?
- I like ice cream.

562
00:27:48,202 --> 00:27:50,204
Okay, great. I'm just loaded...

563
00:27:50,237 --> 00:27:52,039
- You are...
- With dog-walking money.

564
00:27:52,072 --> 00:27:55,276
And it's absolutely
burning a hole in my pocket.

565
00:27:55,309 --> 00:27:56,844
Good show, man, that was fun.

566
00:27:56,877 --> 00:27:58,479
- Uh, yeah, yeah.
- You did great!

567
00:27:58,513 --> 00:27:59,914
Well, thank you so much
for helping.

568
00:27:59,947 --> 00:28:01,148
I'll see you later.

569
00:28:01,182 --> 00:28:04,185
Bye!

570
00:28:17,798 --> 00:28:18,899
No.

571
00:28:18,933 --> 00:28:22,436
No, no, no, no.

572
00:28:29,109 --> 00:28:31,946
Oh shit.

573
00:28:31,979 --> 00:28:33,447
This is me.

574
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:34,481
Yep.

575
00:28:34,516 --> 00:28:36,984
Scene of the crime.

576
00:28:37,017 --> 00:28:38,052
What?

577
00:28:38,085 --> 00:28:38,953
I don't know.

578
00:28:38,986 --> 00:28:41,288
I just said it.

579
00:28:41,322 --> 00:28:45,960
Okay.

580
00:28:45,993 --> 00:28:48,162
Uh.

581
00:28:50,364 --> 00:28:52,199
- Thank you for dinner.
- Thank you for ice cream.

582
00:28:52,233 --> 00:28:55,803
- Okay.
- Okay.

583
00:28:55,836 --> 00:28:57,071
Why don't you just go do it?

584
00:28:57,104 --> 00:29:00,074
Hey, Jimmy.

585
00:29:11,952 --> 00:29:14,154
Can I tell you something
I've never told anyone

586
00:29:14,188 --> 00:29:16,090
this soon after meeting them?

587
00:29:16,123 --> 00:29:18,459
Okay.

588
00:29:18,492 --> 00:29:22,930
I wanna book you on my show.

589
00:29:22,963 --> 00:29:25,332
And you just tell me like that?

590
00:29:25,366 --> 00:29:26,800
- I'm so...
- I just thought

591
00:29:26,834 --> 00:29:28,202
- it would be special.
- I know.

592
00:29:28,235 --> 00:29:29,970
- The first time with...
- Right.

593
00:29:30,004 --> 00:29:32,139
- ...candles or music or...
- I... yeah, I thought lots of

594
00:29:32,172 --> 00:29:35,442
like harps and doves, but it's
just it's happening so fast.

595
00:29:35,476 --> 00:29:37,378
- Okay. Yes, I...
- You wanna do it?

596
00:29:37,411 --> 00:29:38,479
- Yes, I'd like to do it.
- You wanna do it?

597
00:29:38,513 --> 00:29:43,884
Yes, thank you. I'm flattered.

598
00:29:43,917 --> 00:29:46,820
Okay.

599
00:29:46,854 --> 00:29:48,055
Oh God.

600
00:29:48,088 --> 00:29:49,957
Brace yourself!

601
00:29:49,990 --> 00:29:51,125
Andy!

602
00:29:51,158 --> 00:29:52,860
I'm so sorry.

603
00:29:52,893 --> 00:29:54,495
- I'm sorry, I just...
- You almost got a face full

604
00:29:54,529 --> 00:29:57,064
- of key, dude.
- Oh, I... hey,

605
00:29:57,097 --> 00:30:00,434
- I didn't mean to uh...
- What do you want?

606
00:30:00,467 --> 00:30:03,137
Is uh, Death of Comedy
still going on?

607
00:30:03,170 --> 00:30:05,005
No, it ended.

608
00:30:05,039 --> 00:30:08,075
Damn it.

609
00:30:08,108 --> 00:30:10,277
What are you doing right now?

610
00:30:10,311 --> 00:30:12,212
I'm going to bed.

611
00:30:12,246 --> 00:30:13,380
Okay.

612
00:30:13,414 --> 00:30:15,482
Alright, I just... can I...

613
00:30:15,517 --> 00:30:18,886
can I ask you...

614
00:30:18,919 --> 00:30:21,288
Yeah, can I... a word.

615
00:30:21,322 --> 00:30:22,624
Just a word.

616
00:30:22,657 --> 00:30:25,359
Um, just in the spirit
of trying harder

617
00:30:25,392 --> 00:30:28,095
can um... Did Violet ever say

618
00:30:28,128 --> 00:30:29,229
- they were putting on Too Late?
- Good night, Andy.

619
00:30:29,263 --> 00:30:31,465
I just...

620
00:30:34,168 --> 00:30:35,903
Okay, cool.

621
00:30:35,936 --> 00:30:37,938
- This is a sweet ride.
- Good night.

622
00:30:37,971 --> 00:30:39,406
- Oh, okay, all right.
- Bye.

623
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:43,143
Okay, okay!

624
00:30:43,177 --> 00:30:46,313
Fuck it.

625
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:47,040
Good morning.

626
00:31:47,074 --> 00:31:48,543
Morning.

627
00:31:48,576 --> 00:31:51,078
I'm just gonna borrow a bag.

628
00:31:51,111 --> 00:31:55,315
You owe me for last night.

629
00:31:55,349 --> 00:31:58,553
Oh!

630
00:31:58,586 --> 00:32:02,990
Oh, I basically quit my job!

631
00:32:03,023 --> 00:32:05,392
But was he nice?

632
00:32:07,461 --> 00:32:11,265
Oh my God, you are
blushing right now, Violet!

633
00:32:11,298 --> 00:32:13,300
- He is nice!
- Stop!

634
00:32:13,333 --> 00:32:15,703
- Yes.
- Go away.

635
00:32:15,737 --> 00:32:19,306
Someone got some last night!

636
00:32:19,339 --> 00:32:20,307
Oh my God.

637
00:32:20,340 --> 00:32:22,976
Oh um, excuse me, Mrs. Rhodes...

638
00:32:23,010 --> 00:32:24,512
- You're... what are we 12?
- I'm just gonna borrow

639
00:32:24,546 --> 00:32:26,648
- this bag real quick.
- All right, take the bag.

640
00:32:26,681 --> 00:32:28,115
- Get out.
- Did he have soft lips?

641
00:32:28,148 --> 00:32:30,350
I'm done.

642
00:32:32,386 --> 00:32:34,054
Hey, Bob?

643
00:32:41,128 --> 00:32:42,764
Bob?

644
00:32:47,602 --> 00:32:49,303
Hey Bob?

645
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,242
Bob.

646
00:32:57,177 --> 00:32:59,614
It's Violet.

647
00:33:39,787 --> 00:33:43,825
Ah!

648
00:33:58,238 --> 00:34:00,775
I know I look terrible.

649
00:34:00,808 --> 00:34:03,410
I've just never seen you
this soon after eating.

650
00:34:03,443 --> 00:34:05,647
Where were you?

651
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,381
I'm sorry, I should have called.

652
00:34:07,414 --> 00:34:08,516
- I just...
- Look, don't apologize,

653
00:34:08,550 --> 00:34:10,552
it turns my stomach.

654
00:34:10,585 --> 00:34:16,189
Bob, who'd you eat?

655
00:34:16,223 --> 00:34:19,326
Some open-miker
in Glassell Park.

656
00:34:19,359 --> 00:34:21,729
No talent at all, but a lot
of well bourbon and nicotine,

657
00:34:21,763 --> 00:34:23,363
and my head's killing me.

658
00:34:23,397 --> 00:34:25,132
No,
there's got to be another way.

659
00:34:25,165 --> 00:34:26,300
There's no other way.

660
00:34:26,333 --> 00:34:27,702
Look, you have resources!

661
00:34:27,735 --> 00:34:29,604
We can figure it out!

662
00:34:29,637 --> 00:34:30,838
No, I'm not good with money.

663
00:34:30,872 --> 00:34:32,272
Uh, after all
the years of performing,

664
00:34:32,306 --> 00:34:34,441
- you haven't saved up anything?
- No.

665
00:34:34,474 --> 00:34:36,343
Uh, how old are you?

666
00:34:36,376 --> 00:34:37,411
What do you want from me?

667
00:34:37,444 --> 00:34:38,646
I'm an entertainer.

668
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,147
You know what?
Here's what I think.

669
00:34:40,180 --> 00:34:42,249
Look,
you're not supposed to think!

670
00:34:42,282 --> 00:34:45,252
You're supposed to feed me!
That's it!

671
00:34:45,285 --> 00:34:50,257
I told you a million times,
it's all about trust.

672
00:34:57,732 --> 00:35:01,201
Look, just... just do your job.

673
00:35:06,306 --> 00:35:08,676
I'm looking for comfortable
shoes that won't make me look

674
00:35:08,710 --> 00:35:10,712
like a biblical character.

675
00:35:10,745 --> 00:35:13,715
I went shoe shopping
and I told the sales person,

676
00:35:13,748 --> 00:35:15,917
I was like, "I'm looking
for some comfortable shoes."

677
00:35:15,950 --> 00:35:18,385
This lady brought out
the most hideous-looking shoes.

678
00:35:18,418 --> 00:35:21,689
I was like, "Oh, hell no."
I am not trying to be

679
00:35:21,723 --> 00:35:25,192
one of Tracy Chapman's
backup dancers.

680
00:35:25,225 --> 00:35:26,794
Those are birth-control shoes.

681
00:35:26,828 --> 00:35:29,631
I'll never get laid
in those shoes.

682
00:35:29,664 --> 00:35:31,566
Someone will ask me,
"Girl, are you on the pill?"

683
00:35:31,599 --> 00:35:32,700
I'll be like, "Nope,

684
00:35:32,734 --> 00:35:35,737
but I got on some Birkenstocks!"

685
00:35:35,770 --> 00:35:39,272
No sperm can penetrate these.

686
00:35:39,306 --> 00:35:40,808
Hey, here he is.

687
00:35:40,842 --> 00:35:42,510
Finally fucked
his way to the top.

688
00:35:42,543 --> 00:35:44,545
Oh, it's too late
to turn back now.

689
00:35:44,579 --> 00:35:46,279
Yeah, you just remember whose
closet it all started in,

690
00:35:46,313 --> 00:35:48,248
- you little skank!
- Sh!

691
00:35:48,281 --> 00:35:49,483
I was just calling him a skank.

692
00:35:49,517 --> 00:35:50,484
- I know.
- It wasn't heckling.

693
00:35:50,518 --> 00:35:51,519
- I know.
- I was like,

694
00:35:51,552 --> 00:35:53,286
"It's only been two years."

695
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:54,889
How much wear
and tear did you think

696
00:35:54,922 --> 00:35:58,626
I was gonna go through in
a two-year period, you know?

697
00:35:58,660 --> 00:36:00,394
And I had to think you know,
when I was at a party

698
00:36:00,427 --> 00:36:02,462
and I saw her, did she turn
to her friends, and say,

699
00:36:02,496 --> 00:36:03,731
"You know what?
In two years, that bitch

700
00:36:03,765 --> 00:36:06,934
is gonna look like Yoda."

701
00:36:06,968 --> 00:36:09,436
"In two years, she's gonna look
like a Forever-21 dress

702
00:36:09,469 --> 00:36:11,806
after the first washing."

703
00:36:11,839 --> 00:36:13,407
Nothing but threads and rags,

704
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,710
that's all she's gonna be
in the end.

705
00:36:15,743 --> 00:36:16,711
That's my time.

706
00:36:16,744 --> 00:36:19,647
Thank you.

707
00:36:19,681 --> 00:36:21,314
Uh, what can I say
about your next performer?

708
00:36:21,348 --> 00:36:22,917
He's hilarious uh,

709
00:36:22,950 --> 00:36:25,820
and I can also say as his
roommate, he's very tidy.

710
00:36:25,853 --> 00:36:28,422
So please give a warm
Death of Comedy welcome

711
00:36:28,455 --> 00:36:30,591
to Jimmy Rhodes,
ladies and gents.

712
00:36:34,294 --> 00:36:38,666
I like going to uh, 7-Eleven
at like 2 in the morning,

713
00:36:38,700 --> 00:36:40,868
cause you get to see
things there

714
00:36:40,902 --> 00:36:43,370
you don't get to see
anywhere else.

715
00:36:43,403 --> 00:36:46,841
Like I was at 7-Eleven,
2 in the morning.

716
00:36:46,874 --> 00:36:51,746
Also, there was a woman
who was very, very obese.

717
00:36:51,779 --> 00:36:54,247
Now, I am not including

718
00:36:54,281 --> 00:36:56,818
that detail to make fun of her,

719
00:36:56,851 --> 00:36:58,820
I am including that detail,

720
00:36:58,853 --> 00:37:01,656
because she was also
wearing a t-shirt

721
00:37:01,689 --> 00:37:04,959
that said on it "No fat chicks".

722
00:37:04,992 --> 00:37:07,294
This lady fucking rules, man.

723
00:37:07,327 --> 00:37:10,363
This is the best lady,
because she is going out

724
00:37:10,397 --> 00:37:14,468
at a time of night when people
are most likely to be stoned

725
00:37:14,501 --> 00:37:16,738
and she is blowing their minds.

726
00:37:16,771 --> 00:37:18,806
- He's good, he's good.
- Because she's gonna be there

727
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:21,374
- and like they're gonna look...
- Yeah, he is.

728
00:37:21,408 --> 00:37:22,643
...and then they'll look up,
and she'll be like...

729
00:37:22,677 --> 00:37:24,277
- I hate him.
- "And yet here I am."

730
00:37:24,311 --> 00:37:26,346
Not like you know,
not like as a person, but.

731
00:37:26,379 --> 00:37:28,049
- Ooh, I hate him.
- Also, when she wears

732
00:37:28,082 --> 00:37:30,551
that shirt,
it becomes empowering.

733
00:37:30,585 --> 00:37:32,319
Like it should have
a comma on it.

734
00:37:32,352 --> 00:37:34,021
Like no comma.

735
00:37:34,055 --> 00:37:36,323
Fat chicks.

736
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:40,595
- Uh, I uh...
- Hey, how are you?

737
00:37:40,628 --> 00:37:42,897
I get super... I get super nervous

738
00:37:42,930 --> 00:37:46,033
to have sex
with like a new lady.

739
00:37:46,067 --> 00:37:47,935
Not... the sex sounds good,
I'm just afraid

740
00:37:47,969 --> 00:37:49,937
- of like being made a fool.
- What are you doing here?

741
00:37:49,971 --> 00:37:52,305
- Like I'm worried...
- Your show is so great

742
00:37:52,339 --> 00:37:54,675
that you're turning away
paying customers?

743
00:37:54,709 --> 00:37:56,611
- It's free.
- And I'll be like, "Yeah!"

744
00:37:56,644 --> 00:37:58,345
- Do you need something?
- "Look at me go."

745
00:37:58,378 --> 00:37:59,580
No, I've never seen
your show before,

746
00:37:59,614 --> 00:38:03,350
so I thought I'd check it out.

747
00:38:03,383 --> 00:38:06,721
Yeah, but this is like just kind
of like my thing.

748
00:38:06,754 --> 00:38:09,557
Yeah, don't worry,
I'll keep a low profile.

749
00:38:09,590 --> 00:38:13,060
It turns out though,
it's actually super easy to tell

750
00:38:13,094 --> 00:38:15,696
if a woman is faking her orgasm.

751
00:38:15,730 --> 00:38:22,103
If during her orgasm a woman
is sexy, she is faking it.

752
00:38:22,136 --> 00:38:25,706
That is not what
that looks like.

753
00:38:25,740 --> 00:38:29,376
If she's like, "Oh, Jesus,
baby." Get out of here.

754
00:38:29,409 --> 00:38:32,513
What am I, 12,
I'm gonna fall for that?

755
00:38:32,547 --> 00:38:34,916
But if she's like, "Blah".

756
00:38:34,949 --> 00:38:37,985
Then it's like, "Yes! Yes!

757
00:38:38,019 --> 00:38:41,923
Call my therapist,
I'm not coming in this week.

758
00:38:41,956 --> 00:38:43,558
Alright, I'm done.
Thanks a lot, guys.

759
00:38:47,494 --> 00:38:49,096
Jimmy Rhodes,
killing it like a pro

760
00:38:49,130 --> 00:38:50,998
on his first TDOC appearance.
Good act!

761
00:38:51,032 --> 00:38:53,568
- Hey, great set.
- Oh, Bob Devore.

762
00:38:53,601 --> 00:38:56,504
- Oh, thank you.
- It was great.

763
00:38:56,537 --> 00:38:58,039
How come you haven't told me
about Jimmy before?

764
00:38:58,072 --> 00:39:00,074
We gotta get him on the show.

765
00:39:00,107 --> 00:39:02,375
Um, I...

766
00:39:02,409 --> 00:39:03,644
We're booked for months out...

767
00:39:03,678 --> 00:39:04,779
Nah, we'll make room.

768
00:39:04,812 --> 00:39:05,580
Yeah, we've got
to snatch him up

769
00:39:05,613 --> 00:39:08,415
before somebody else does,
right?

770
00:39:08,448 --> 00:39:09,482
Ah, you're in luck, folks.

771
00:39:09,517 --> 00:39:10,450
You came on a good night.

772
00:39:10,483 --> 00:39:13,020
We got a special guest
dropping in tonight.

773
00:39:13,054 --> 00:39:17,725
Give a big, warm, TDOC welcome
to Mr. Bob Devore.

774
00:39:17,758 --> 00:39:18,759
Yeah!

775
00:39:20,828 --> 00:39:22,096
Holy shit.

776
00:39:22,129 --> 00:39:24,866
Bob Devore just booked me
on his show.

777
00:39:26,100 --> 00:39:27,602
Holy shit.

778
00:39:27,635 --> 00:39:29,737
Well, nobody can accuse you
of nepotism.

779
00:39:29,770 --> 00:39:31,639
I was driving home last night
and I went...

780
00:39:31,672 --> 00:39:32,439
Good job, man.

781
00:39:32,472 --> 00:39:33,406
Hey, what the fuck
are you doing?

782
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:35,109
- What? He had a good set.
- You put Bob up,

783
00:39:35,142 --> 00:39:36,611
you didn't even ask me,
it's my show, David...

784
00:39:36,644 --> 00:39:37,745
Well, what did you want me
to tell him?

785
00:39:37,778 --> 00:39:38,746
Message the show page?

786
00:39:38,779 --> 00:39:41,716
- Hey, what's wrong?
- Nothing. I'm fine.

787
00:39:41,749 --> 00:39:45,019
I was like, "Yeah,
I'll turn the radio up."

788
00:39:46,621 --> 00:39:48,856
Ah, come on.

789
00:39:48,890 --> 00:39:50,091
Anyway, it's great to be here

790
00:39:50,124 --> 00:39:53,127
in this, um, tiny little place.

791
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:54,695
Haven't been on stage
in a place like this

792
00:39:54,729 --> 00:39:55,763
in a long time, but...

793
00:39:55,796 --> 00:39:57,698
Hey, Jimmy, this is Violet.

794
00:39:57,732 --> 00:39:59,634
About Bob's show,
I'm so sorry.

795
00:39:59,667 --> 00:40:01,836
I just was... we're...

796
00:40:01,869 --> 00:40:03,504
We're just not gonna be able
to fit you in.

797
00:40:03,537 --> 00:40:05,740
Bob wants what he wants
when he wants,

798
00:40:05,773 --> 00:40:07,508
but then reality sets in

799
00:40:07,541 --> 00:40:12,546
and I got
to come be the bad guy.

800
00:40:12,580 --> 00:40:15,049
I'm so sorry.
We'll keep trying, though.

801
00:40:15,082 --> 00:40:18,119
I promise.
We'll get you on eventually.

802
00:40:18,152 --> 00:40:19,921
Okay, I'm really sorry, Jimmy.

803
00:40:19,954 --> 00:40:21,155
- Hi, need some help?
- No, I'm good,

804
00:40:21,188 --> 00:40:22,790
but I got your pudding cups.

805
00:40:22,823 --> 00:40:24,825
- Right there.
- Oh, sweet!

806
00:40:24,859 --> 00:40:26,661
Yes, I got you chocolate.

807
00:40:26,694 --> 00:40:28,229
- Thank you, Vi.
- You're welcome.

808
00:40:28,262 --> 00:40:31,132
I swear, you are doing
God's work.

809
00:40:31,165 --> 00:40:33,668
Wow, you're just a little ray
of sunshine today.

810
00:40:33,701 --> 00:40:34,902
- Got my pudding.
- Yeah.

811
00:40:34,936 --> 00:40:37,470
- Bob's in a good mood.
- Bob's never in a good mood.

812
00:40:37,505 --> 00:40:40,841
- Well, Donna's coming tonight.
- Donna Rudinsky from TelVid?

813
00:40:40,875 --> 00:40:42,176
Like, not her assistant?

814
00:40:42,209 --> 00:40:43,811
Like the actual
Vice President of Production

815
00:40:43,844 --> 00:40:45,846
from the network
is coming to our show tonight?

816
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,014
- Tonight.
- I've been trying

817
00:40:47,048 --> 00:40:48,616
to meet with her for years.

818
00:40:48,649 --> 00:40:49,684
Please don't make him mad, Vi.

819
00:40:49,717 --> 00:40:52,119
I mean, if Bob's not happy,
nobody's happy.

820
00:40:58,926 --> 00:41:00,861
Hey, Donna's coming tonight?

821
00:41:00,895 --> 00:41:02,596
Oh, yeah, yeah,
I meant to tell you.

822
00:41:02,630 --> 00:41:04,932
I'll introduce you
if I get a chance.

823
00:41:04,966 --> 00:41:06,867
Bob?

824
00:41:06,901 --> 00:41:08,736
- Hey, Vi.
- Yeah, I asked Jimmy to come by

825
00:41:08,769 --> 00:41:10,738
a little early
so I can show him around.

826
00:41:10,771 --> 00:41:12,573
There's a lot of history here.

827
00:41:12,606 --> 00:41:16,243
A lot of things have gone on
behind these walls, right?

828
00:41:16,277 --> 00:41:18,612
Yeah, I'm gonna put
Jimmy up tonight.

829
00:41:18,646 --> 00:41:20,681
I'll make room between acts.

830
00:41:20,715 --> 00:41:23,250
- Can I help you with those?
- Oh, no, no. She's okay.

831
00:41:23,284 --> 00:41:25,086
Aren't you, Vi?

832
00:41:27,188 --> 00:41:28,155
Oh, yeah.

833
00:41:28,189 --> 00:41:30,558
I actually love spending money
I do not have

834
00:41:30,591 --> 00:41:31,759
on things that I do not need,
though.

835
00:41:31,792 --> 00:41:33,861
I love, uh, when you go
to a coffee shop

836
00:41:33,894 --> 00:41:36,797
and the coffee
is seven dollars.

837
00:41:36,831 --> 00:41:38,532
I'm like, "Okay,
ta, ta, ta, ta, ta.

838
00:41:38,566 --> 00:41:39,567
Oh, a latte is seven dollars.

839
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:40,868
Okay, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta."

840
00:41:40,901 --> 00:41:42,603
"Oh, hi, Donna Rudinsky.

841
00:41:42,636 --> 00:41:43,537
Violet Fields.

842
00:41:43,571 --> 00:41:44,538
Great to meet you."

843
00:41:44,572 --> 00:41:46,207
Why not make it nine?

844
00:41:46,240 --> 00:41:47,975
Why not make it nine?
How about...

845
00:41:48,009 --> 00:41:51,212
- Thanks for the intro, Bob.
- ...I exchange my life

846
00:41:51,245 --> 00:41:54,715
for this hot, darkened water

847
00:41:54,749 --> 00:41:57,685
because, you know, uh,
existence is a liability

848
00:41:57,718 --> 00:41:59,253
and being is profitless
in the first place,

849
00:41:59,286 --> 00:42:01,555
am I right, millennials?

850
00:42:01,589 --> 00:42:03,057
- Oh!
- Hey.

851
00:42:03,090 --> 00:42:05,626
Just watching the audience?

852
00:42:05,659 --> 00:42:07,028
Yep.

853
00:42:08,229 --> 00:42:11,098
I love seeing their faces.

854
00:42:11,132 --> 00:42:13,801
Like, when you're up there,

855
00:42:13,834 --> 00:42:17,138
it's like looking over
the edge of a cliff

856
00:42:17,171 --> 00:42:18,873
with laughs coming out of it.

857
00:42:18,906 --> 00:42:22,076
...anymore.
I'm not calling you.

858
00:42:22,109 --> 00:42:23,811
Okay, all right, all right.

859
00:42:23,844 --> 00:42:27,114
You know it's all
because of you, Vi.

860
00:42:27,148 --> 00:42:29,817
I'm only here because of you.

861
00:42:29,850 --> 00:42:33,187
I saw your next act perform
in a small little coffee shop,

862
00:42:33,220 --> 00:42:35,089
but you're really gonna love him

863
00:42:35,122 --> 00:42:36,957
because this kid
is going places.

864
00:42:36,991 --> 00:42:39,827
Ladies and gentlemen,
here's Jimmy Rhodes!

865
00:42:46,033 --> 00:42:48,102
I have, like,
a very specific haircut,

866
00:42:48,135 --> 00:42:49,837
and the first time
I told the lady

867
00:42:49,870 --> 00:42:52,973
who cuts my hair
what I wanted,

868
00:42:53,007 --> 00:42:55,342
she was like, "Oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

869
00:42:55,376 --> 00:42:58,112
Uh, you mean the young Hitler?"

870
00:42:58,145 --> 00:43:01,348
And I was like,
"I don't think I do.

871
00:43:01,382 --> 00:43:04,285
I don't think
I'm ever going to mean

872
00:43:04,318 --> 00:43:06,253
the young Hitler."

873
00:43:06,287 --> 00:43:09,023
As if my problem with Hitler
was his age.

874
00:43:09,056 --> 00:43:10,891
Like, oh, I don't want
to look like

875
00:43:10,925 --> 00:43:12,860
some old, busted Hitler.

876
00:43:12,893 --> 00:43:14,028
No, no, no.

877
00:43:14,061 --> 00:43:16,297
Like a young Hitler, yeah.

878
00:43:16,330 --> 00:43:19,934
Like a hip, fresh, cool Hitler.

879
00:43:19,967 --> 00:43:22,002
Back when he was
still painting all the time

880
00:43:22,036 --> 00:43:26,140
and he was like... just like
mixed on the Jews, you know?

881
00:43:26,173 --> 00:43:30,644
Uh, I like to go to 7-Eleven
late at night

882
00:43:30,678 --> 00:43:33,714
because it is
a singular experience.

883
00:43:35,015 --> 00:43:36,684
- Great show, Fredo.
- Thanks.

884
00:43:36,717 --> 00:43:38,052
Hope Donna liked it.

885
00:43:38,085 --> 00:43:40,154
- Did you get to meet her?
- Nah.

886
00:43:40,187 --> 00:43:41,255
Oh, that's a drag.

887
00:43:41,288 --> 00:43:42,957
Next time, right?

888
00:43:42,990 --> 00:43:44,959
Next time.

889
00:43:44,992 --> 00:43:47,294
- Night, Fredo.
- Goodnight.

890
00:43:52,299 --> 00:43:54,268
Hey, Jimmy?

891
00:44:04,311 --> 00:44:06,814
Jimmy?

892
00:44:06,847 --> 00:44:08,082
Jimmy?

893
00:44:15,322 --> 00:44:17,024
Jimmy?

894
00:44:18,125 --> 00:44:19,927
Jimmy! Jimmy!

895
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:21,428
Jimmy!

896
00:44:21,462 --> 00:44:22,863
Okay.

897
00:44:24,098 --> 00:44:25,466
Jimmy!

898
00:44:25,499 --> 00:44:26,734
Violet?

899
00:44:26,767 --> 00:44:28,302
Hey, here she is.

900
00:44:29,837 --> 00:44:31,906
- Donna, this is Violet.
- Oh, hi.

901
00:44:31,939 --> 00:44:33,340
Violet, Donna Rudinsky.

902
00:44:33,374 --> 00:44:34,808
Were you on the show?

903
00:44:34,842 --> 00:44:36,243
I feel like we've met.

904
00:44:36,277 --> 00:44:38,112
No, no, no,
Violet is my assistant.

905
00:44:38,145 --> 00:44:39,813
Oh, you and your assistants.

906
00:44:39,847 --> 00:44:42,249
Oh, whatever happened to, uh,
what was her name?

907
00:44:42,283 --> 00:44:44,318
- Uh, Erica?
- No.

908
00:44:44,351 --> 00:44:45,953
Uh, Lorrie?

909
00:44:45,986 --> 00:44:47,888
- Corrie?
- Ah, that's it, that's it.

910
00:44:47,922 --> 00:44:49,256
You remind me so much of her.

911
00:44:49,290 --> 00:44:51,892
- Oh, really?
- Whatever happened to Corrie?

912
00:44:51,926 --> 00:44:53,360
Well, don't look at me.

913
00:44:53,394 --> 00:44:57,364
In this town, people come,
people go.

914
00:44:57,398 --> 00:45:00,734
Well, you know, actually,
Violet is a producer, too.

915
00:45:00,768 --> 00:45:02,136
Oh, you produce Too Late?

916
00:45:02,169 --> 00:45:03,938
No. No, no, no.

917
00:45:03,971 --> 00:45:06,807
No, I produce, like,
I have a show at a coffee shop.

918
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,410
Well, the variety format
is ripe for a reboot

919
00:45:09,443 --> 00:45:12,179
- and Too Late is going to slay.
- Oh, right.

920
00:45:13,881 --> 00:45:17,184
Wait, you're making Too Late
into a TV show?

921
00:45:17,218 --> 00:45:19,286
A pilot, for development.

922
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:22,323
And Bob wants me
to be one of the writers.

923
00:45:23,991 --> 00:45:26,026
Isn't that great?

924
00:45:26,060 --> 00:45:28,530
- Look at her, she's in shock.
- I'm sorry.

925
00:45:28,563 --> 00:45:30,064
She's been working on the show
for so many years,

926
00:45:30,097 --> 00:45:30,931
she forgot what it's like

927
00:45:30,965 --> 00:45:33,100
to be where the action is,
you know?

928
00:45:33,133 --> 00:45:34,501
Don't worry, you'll be
right by my side,

929
00:45:34,536 --> 00:45:37,438
assisting me
every step of the way.

930
00:45:38,872 --> 00:45:41,775
- Yeah.
- Every step.

931
00:45:41,809 --> 00:45:43,844
We're all gonna be rich.

932
00:45:43,877 --> 00:45:45,379
David, you're already rich.

933
00:45:45,412 --> 00:45:47,381
Yeah, but now you guys
are gonna be rich too.

934
00:45:47,414 --> 00:45:49,116
- It's been lonely.
- To the immediate

935
00:45:49,149 --> 00:45:51,852
and lasting wealth
we will all get

936
00:45:51,885 --> 00:45:53,787
from this one single pilot.

937
00:45:53,821 --> 00:45:54,922
Hear! hear!

938
00:45:54,955 --> 00:45:56,023
Yes!

939
00:45:56,056 --> 00:45:56,857
What's the matter, Vi?

940
00:45:56,890 --> 00:45:58,359
You're not excited
to ride your...

941
00:45:58,392 --> 00:46:01,061
your soon-to-be-rich-and-famous
man's coattails?

942
00:46:01,095 --> 00:46:02,429
Rich and famous.

943
00:46:02,463 --> 00:46:05,132
Rich and famous!

944
00:46:05,165 --> 00:46:06,400
You guys want another round?

945
00:46:06,433 --> 00:46:08,369
- Mm-hm.
- You'll help me carry?

946
00:46:08,402 --> 00:46:10,271
I'm your man.

947
00:46:11,272 --> 00:46:13,941
That's fun, right?

948
00:46:13,974 --> 00:46:16,277
What the fuck is he doing here?

949
00:46:16,310 --> 00:46:17,278
Oh, damn it.

950
00:46:17,311 --> 00:46:18,580
- No.
- Fuck him.

951
00:46:18,613 --> 00:46:21,448
Everything okay?

952
00:46:21,482 --> 00:46:23,417
You just don't seem
too excited.

953
00:46:23,450 --> 00:46:24,852
Excited on the inside.

954
00:46:24,885 --> 00:46:27,187
Hmm, that real thing.

955
00:46:28,489 --> 00:46:30,157
You're Bob's assistant.

956
00:46:30,190 --> 00:46:32,293
If the show does well,
you're gonna do well.

957
00:46:32,326 --> 00:46:35,362
- In theory.
- In practice. In science.

958
00:46:35,396 --> 00:46:38,566
No, you have not worked here
long enough to know that.

959
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:40,535
Money messes
with people's heads, okay,

960
00:46:40,568 --> 00:46:42,537
so just be careful.

961
00:46:42,570 --> 00:46:43,571
Is that Chase Morrow?

962
00:46:46,140 --> 00:46:48,208
- David...
- I'm just, uh...

963
00:46:48,242 --> 00:46:49,209
Did you see his live special?

964
00:46:49,243 --> 00:46:50,978
It was hilarious.

965
00:46:51,011 --> 00:46:52,980
Yeah.

966
00:46:53,013 --> 00:46:54,549
Wait, why do you look like
he killed your dog?

967
00:46:54,582 --> 00:46:56,884
- You didn't know Melissa.
- Who's Melissa?

968
00:46:56,917 --> 00:46:59,286
Chase used to date Melissa,
and let's just say

969
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:01,221
if Chase worried more
about Melissa ODing

970
00:47:01,255 --> 00:47:03,324
on his living room rug
and less about how the story

971
00:47:03,357 --> 00:47:06,860
would damage his brand,
she might still be alive.

972
00:47:06,894 --> 00:47:08,262
- David, don't...
- I'm just...

973
00:47:08,295 --> 00:47:10,130
It's fine, it's fine.

974
00:47:10,164 --> 00:47:11,899
Okay, now David is talking
to Chase. Okay.

975
00:47:11,932 --> 00:47:12,866
Wait, how does David
know Chase?

976
00:47:12,900 --> 00:47:14,501
He used to date Melissa.

977
00:47:14,536 --> 00:47:15,469
- Hey, leave us alone.
- David!

978
00:47:15,502 --> 00:47:17,204
- Oh!
- Oh my God!

979
00:47:17,237 --> 00:47:18,205
Oh my God, David!

980
00:47:18,238 --> 00:47:19,273
Fuck you, dude!

981
00:47:19,306 --> 00:47:21,141
Oh my God.

982
00:47:21,175 --> 00:47:23,010
Wow, whoa.

983
00:47:23,043 --> 00:47:24,579
That was cute.

984
00:47:24,612 --> 00:47:26,080
Let's go, let's go.

985
00:47:26,113 --> 00:47:27,314
Okay.

986
00:47:27,348 --> 00:47:28,982
Congrats
on actually being funny

987
00:47:29,016 --> 00:47:31,385
for the first time
in your life.

988
00:47:31,418 --> 00:47:34,054
We're leaving, we're leaving.

989
00:47:34,088 --> 00:47:35,923
Jesus, David.

990
00:47:35,956 --> 00:47:36,791
Did you break your nose?

991
00:47:36,825 --> 00:47:38,192
It's not broken,
it's just blood.

992
00:47:38,225 --> 00:47:39,527
Okay, well, let's go.

993
00:47:39,561 --> 00:47:42,096
Yeah, let's go drink some more
where we don't have to drink

994
00:47:42,129 --> 00:47:44,264
with a fucking murderer!

995
00:47:44,298 --> 00:47:45,600
Oh, David!

996
00:47:45,633 --> 00:47:48,502
David, okay, come on,
come on, come on.

997
00:47:48,536 --> 00:47:49,937
Well, listen,
you guys are awesome,

998
00:47:49,970 --> 00:47:51,071
and I think you're ready.

999
00:47:51,105 --> 00:47:52,306
Remember, folks, the key

1000
00:47:52,339 --> 00:47:54,375
is to have as much fun
as possible.

1001
00:47:54,408 --> 00:47:55,677
We want to let
the network folks know

1002
00:47:55,710 --> 00:47:58,145
that this show is great,

1003
00:47:58,178 --> 00:48:00,582
and we want everybody
to get paid, and you all?

1004
00:48:00,615 --> 00:48:02,416
You all get to say
you were in the audience

1005
00:48:02,449 --> 00:48:04,652
for the first episode ever!

1006
00:48:04,686 --> 00:48:06,220
Make some noise!

1007
00:48:08,122 --> 00:48:10,625
- Well, it worked in rehearsal.
- The paper bag thing is weak.

1008
00:48:10,658 --> 00:48:12,092
I don't know, I thought
it was sort of classic.

1009
00:48:12,126 --> 00:48:13,394
Well, I'm cutting it.

1010
00:48:13,427 --> 00:48:15,929
Okay, well,
maybe the next episode.

1011
00:48:15,963 --> 00:48:17,599
Let's get through today first.

1012
00:48:17,632 --> 00:48:20,167
Right. Uh...

1013
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,537
Okay, uh, break a leg.

1014
00:48:22,570 --> 00:48:24,304
Hey.

1015
00:48:24,338 --> 00:48:26,940
- See you on the other side.
- Got it.

1016
00:48:26,974 --> 00:48:29,042
All right, so how do I look?

1017
00:48:29,076 --> 00:48:32,146
Like the famous Bob Devore.

1018
00:48:33,748 --> 00:48:36,083
Well, you could be happy
for Jimmy at least.

1019
00:48:36,116 --> 00:48:38,352
You're a monster, Bob.

1020
00:48:38,385 --> 00:48:39,987
At least Jimmy gets it.

1021
00:48:40,020 --> 00:48:43,090
In fact, I think
I might bring him on.

1022
00:48:43,123 --> 00:48:45,527
He's the head writer.

1023
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:48,095
No, I had something else
in mind.

1024
00:48:48,128 --> 00:48:50,497
I'm not going to live forever.

1025
00:48:50,532 --> 00:48:53,233
At least, I don't think I am.

1026
00:48:53,267 --> 00:48:56,103
I'd like to impart what I have
to someone else.

1027
00:48:56,136 --> 00:48:58,338
You can do that?

1028
00:48:58,372 --> 00:48:59,641
You thought I was the first?

1029
00:48:59,674 --> 00:49:01,442
Please, Bob.

1030
00:49:02,476 --> 00:49:04,178
Showtime.

1031
00:49:17,659 --> 00:49:19,561
Violet?

1032
00:49:19,594 --> 00:49:20,994
Mm-hm.

1033
00:49:21,028 --> 00:49:23,197
Hey.

1034
00:49:23,230 --> 00:49:24,632
What are you doing?

1035
00:49:24,666 --> 00:49:27,267
I was drinking alone.

1036
00:49:29,169 --> 00:49:30,772
Everybody loved the show.

1037
00:49:30,805 --> 00:49:34,408
Donna said it went
really organically.

1038
00:49:34,441 --> 00:49:36,511
What does that mean?

1039
00:49:36,544 --> 00:49:40,180
I don't know,
but she kept saying it.

1040
00:49:44,652 --> 00:49:45,753
Come here, you.

1041
00:49:45,787 --> 00:49:48,523
Come here, come here, come here.

1042
00:49:50,257 --> 00:49:51,358
You ever get laid at work?

1043
00:49:51,391 --> 00:49:53,293
Okay, mm, mm, mm, mm.

1044
00:49:53,327 --> 00:49:54,662
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.

1045
00:49:54,696 --> 00:49:56,798
Hey, hey, hey, okay.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.

1046
00:49:56,831 --> 00:49:58,700
What, are you trying
to get me fired

1047
00:49:58,733 --> 00:50:01,068
after literally
my first episode?

1048
00:50:01,101 --> 00:50:05,272
Silly me. I totally forgot
you're like a big TV guy now.

1049
00:50:05,305 --> 00:50:07,575
Hey, what is wrong with you?

1050
00:50:07,609 --> 00:50:09,644
Nothing is wrong with me.

1051
00:50:09,677 --> 00:50:12,045
I'm certainly not some farm boy
from Ohio

1052
00:50:12,079 --> 00:50:14,749
who's in way over his head.

1053
00:50:14,782 --> 00:50:16,651
- What?
- You have no idea

1054
00:50:16,684 --> 00:50:18,820
what you're getting
yourself into.

1055
00:50:18,853 --> 00:50:20,755
This is gross. I'm gonna go.

1056
00:50:20,788 --> 00:50:22,055
No, no, no! Please, please,
please, don't go.

1057
00:50:22,089 --> 00:50:23,525
Just...

1058
00:50:23,558 --> 00:50:25,359
You have to quit.

1059
00:50:25,392 --> 00:50:27,160
Just listen to me.
He's gonna get inside of you,

1060
00:50:27,194 --> 00:50:28,028
he's gonna twist you up,

1061
00:50:28,061 --> 00:50:29,496
and he's gonna
turn you into him.

1062
00:50:29,531 --> 00:50:30,698
I don't think you know
what you're saying.

1063
00:50:30,732 --> 00:50:33,735
- No, please!
- I think you wish it was you

1064
00:50:33,768 --> 00:50:35,202
instead of me.

1065
00:50:39,106 --> 00:50:40,642
Yeah.

1066
00:50:40,675 --> 00:50:42,844
You're probably right.

1067
00:50:42,877 --> 00:50:44,044
So we should just stop.

1068
00:50:46,814 --> 00:50:48,081
What?

1069
00:50:48,115 --> 00:50:49,216
You're right.

1070
00:50:49,249 --> 00:50:50,818
This is fucking things up
between us,

1071
00:50:50,852 --> 00:50:53,220
so why don't we just stop?

1072
00:50:58,425 --> 00:51:00,260
If you think...

1073
00:51:00,294 --> 00:51:02,229
I do.

1074
00:51:02,262 --> 00:51:04,799
That is what I think, so...

1075
00:51:09,837 --> 00:51:12,674
What the fuck?

1076
00:51:24,586 --> 00:51:26,286
Ah...

1077
00:51:27,421 --> 00:51:29,423
Fuck!

1078
00:51:29,456 --> 00:51:32,225
Come on! Fuck!

1079
00:52:02,389 --> 00:52:03,791
Oh, man.

1080
00:52:11,331 --> 00:52:13,433
Okay.

1081
00:52:13,467 --> 00:52:15,268
Okay.

1082
00:52:19,473 --> 00:52:21,909
Life's too short.

1083
00:52:29,617 --> 00:52:32,252
- Hey, Vi.
- Sup?

1084
00:52:35,757 --> 00:52:38,593
Is it Halloween already?

1085
00:52:38,626 --> 00:52:40,595
You're gonna feel very badly
about that once you find out

1086
00:52:40,628 --> 00:52:42,195
who I booked for the show
tonight.

1087
00:52:42,229 --> 00:52:43,430
What?

1088
00:52:43,463 --> 00:52:45,667
Chase Morrow in the house,
bitches!

1089
00:52:45,700 --> 00:52:46,801
- Oh, you booked him?
- Mm-hm.

1090
00:52:46,834 --> 00:52:48,502
I thought he only does movies.

1091
00:52:48,536 --> 00:52:50,672
I do do movies, but I got
to get back to my roots,

1092
00:52:50,705 --> 00:52:52,372
so when shy little Violet here
hit me up

1093
00:52:52,406 --> 00:52:54,241
to work with Bob Devore,

1094
00:52:54,274 --> 00:52:56,811
I said, "Fuckin' when
and where?"

1095
00:52:56,844 --> 00:52:58,713
Well, it's good to have you,
Chase.

1096
00:52:58,746 --> 00:53:00,581
Bring it up!

1097
00:53:00,615 --> 00:53:01,749
It's gonna be fuckin' lit.

1098
00:53:09,356 --> 00:53:11,859
Yo! Uh, when the fuck am I on?

1099
00:53:11,893 --> 00:53:13,961
- Hey, soon.
- Cool.

1100
00:53:13,995 --> 00:53:15,295
Don't have anybody light me,
all right?

1101
00:53:15,328 --> 00:53:16,130
I'll do as much time as I want.

1102
00:53:16,164 --> 00:53:17,665
- I fuckin' hate that shit.
- Okay.

1103
00:53:17,699 --> 00:53:18,766
- What are you doing?
- Want some?

1104
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:20,868
Everybody, welcome to Too Late.

1105
00:53:20,902 --> 00:53:22,003
After. What are you doing?
I got to go on.

1106
00:53:22,036 --> 00:53:23,604
Fuckin' pussy.

1107
00:53:25,907 --> 00:53:27,274
Fuck you.

1108
00:53:27,307 --> 00:53:29,276
And if you want a good seat...

1109
00:53:29,309 --> 00:53:30,878
Let's fuckin' do this.

1110
00:53:30,912 --> 00:53:33,280
All right, well, we're ready
for your first act, uh,

1111
00:53:33,313 --> 00:53:36,951
this guy is super funny,
movies, he's in one right now,

1112
00:53:36,984 --> 00:53:38,619
Chase Morrow, everybody!

1113
00:53:38,653 --> 00:53:40,688
Chase Morrow!

1114
00:53:44,391 --> 00:53:47,360
Keep it going for
that creepy old fuck, everybody.

1115
00:53:47,394 --> 00:53:48,596
Wow!

1116
00:53:48,629 --> 00:53:49,897
Where are you from, ponytail?

1117
00:53:49,931 --> 00:53:51,431
- Is that not a ponytail?
- No.

1118
00:53:51,465 --> 00:53:52,299
Oh, what are you doing?

1119
00:53:52,332 --> 00:53:54,301
Get a ponytail, man.

1120
00:53:54,334 --> 00:53:56,403
If I can grow a ponytail,
I'm fuckin' using a ponytail.

1121
00:53:56,436 --> 00:53:58,338
What are you thinking?
Come on, where are you from?

1122
00:53:58,371 --> 00:54:00,307
- Augusta, Georgia.
- Augusta, Georgia?

1123
00:54:00,340 --> 00:54:02,977
You guys got golf, right?

1124
00:54:03,010 --> 00:54:07,280
And, uh, the Civil War
was bad for you, um...

1125
00:54:07,314 --> 00:54:07,982
I'm so good at crowd work.

1126
00:54:08,015 --> 00:54:09,684
Where are you from, sir?

1127
00:54:09,717 --> 00:54:11,052
Denver? Okay, I've heard of it.

1128
00:54:11,085 --> 00:54:14,989
Um, I don't have
any material on that.

1129
00:54:15,022 --> 00:54:16,423
So that's not ideal.

1130
00:54:16,456 --> 00:54:18,693
Is anybody from, um, my dad?

1131
00:54:23,631 --> 00:54:25,733
Oh, fuck. Um...

1132
00:54:27,969 --> 00:54:30,905
Jesus Christ, Bob, I'm gonna
fuckin' eat shit up here, man.

1133
00:54:30,938 --> 00:54:33,473
Like, fix the stage, dude.

1134
00:54:33,508 --> 00:54:34,976
Oh, fuck. Um...

1135
00:54:35,009 --> 00:54:36,944
Does the city know
that this is happening?

1136
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:40,313
'Cause they should. It's bad.

1137
00:54:40,347 --> 00:54:42,583
Um, it's not up to code.

1138
00:54:44,786 --> 00:54:46,621
Uh, you guys have been...

1139
00:54:46,654 --> 00:54:49,924
you guys have been here
for that.

1140
00:54:49,957 --> 00:54:51,491
Um...

1141
00:54:52,994 --> 00:54:55,863
Thanks a lot.
I've been Chase Morrow, guys.

1142
00:54:59,432 --> 00:55:01,501
Chase Morrow, everybody,
the first act.

1143
00:55:01,536 --> 00:55:03,070
Come on, let's hear it for...

1144
00:55:04,639 --> 00:55:05,973
What's up, boys?

1145
00:55:06,007 --> 00:55:07,108
There he is.

1146
00:55:07,141 --> 00:55:09,510
- You!
- Violet.

1147
00:55:09,544 --> 00:55:10,812
Right, sure, sure, yeah.

1148
00:55:10,845 --> 00:55:13,380
Dude, those pills
are no joke, right?

1149
00:55:13,413 --> 00:55:14,481
I'm feelin' fuckin' loose.

1150
00:55:14,515 --> 00:55:17,118
Good, yeah.

1151
00:55:17,151 --> 00:55:19,620
I know why you booked me,
by the way.

1152
00:55:19,654 --> 00:55:21,488
You do?

1153
00:55:21,522 --> 00:55:23,423
You always lookin' at me
all these years.

1154
00:55:23,456 --> 00:55:26,027
It's cool, let's just do it.

1155
00:55:28,930 --> 00:55:30,865
- Oh.
- Whoa.

1156
00:55:30,898 --> 00:55:32,667
Somebody moves fast.

1157
00:55:34,068 --> 00:55:35,603
Hey, Chase!

1158
00:55:35,636 --> 00:55:37,004
Yo, you want to meet
this friend of mine?

1159
00:55:37,038 --> 00:55:38,873
You got to. Come on,
we'll keep hanging.

1160
00:55:38,906 --> 00:55:41,509
Let me buy you one.

1161
00:55:58,993 --> 00:56:02,763
Um, why don't you guys
get out of here?

1162
00:56:05,432 --> 00:56:08,169
Fucking go!

1163
00:56:08,202 --> 00:56:11,706
Not everything I say
is a goddamn joke.

1164
00:56:15,843 --> 00:56:17,945
Hey, what's up?

1165
00:56:17,979 --> 00:56:19,881
Good to see you.

1166
00:56:19,914 --> 00:56:24,552
Actually, I was thinking
why don't we re-up?

1167
00:56:24,585 --> 00:56:26,153
I mean, I don't know, man,
I feel pretty good.

1168
00:56:26,187 --> 00:56:28,522
- That shit's no joke.
- This?

1169
00:56:28,556 --> 00:56:31,058
I pour this shit
on my cereal.

1170
00:56:33,561 --> 00:56:35,796
Fuck, all right.

1171
00:56:35,830 --> 00:56:37,531
I'll party.

1172
00:56:37,565 --> 00:56:39,600
Oh my God.

1173
00:56:41,969 --> 00:56:44,939
- Let's fuckin' do it, right?
- Mm-hm.

1174
00:56:48,075 --> 00:56:50,945
Um, yeah. Okay, all right.

1175
00:56:50,978 --> 00:56:53,881
I've been waiting
a whole hour...

1176
00:56:56,550 --> 00:56:57,785
This shit is not joke.

1177
00:56:57,818 --> 00:56:59,186
Um...

1178
00:57:06,861 --> 00:57:08,930
Fuck.

1179
00:57:10,264 --> 00:57:11,766
Come and get it!

1180
00:57:15,069 --> 00:57:18,005
What the fuck are you doing?

1181
00:57:18,039 --> 00:57:19,840
Din-din!

1182
00:57:19,874 --> 00:57:22,510
Who's hungry, huh?

1183
00:57:22,543 --> 00:57:24,245
- Is that Chase?
- Yep.

1184
00:57:24,278 --> 00:57:26,580
Is he dead?

1185
00:57:26,614 --> 00:57:28,849
- No.
- What were you thinking?

1186
00:57:28,883 --> 00:57:31,585
The dark of the moon
isn't for days.

1187
00:57:31,619 --> 00:57:35,156
It's called "initiative," Bob,
and I took it.

1188
00:57:35,189 --> 00:57:36,657
But he's a huge star.

1189
00:57:36,691 --> 00:57:38,125
People are gonna
come looking for him.

1190
00:57:38,159 --> 00:57:39,694
He's a fucking mess,
people will just think

1191
00:57:39,727 --> 00:57:42,063
he drank too much
and fell in a river.

1192
00:57:45,199 --> 00:57:47,535
Hmm, hmm.

1193
00:57:47,568 --> 00:57:48,703
You know, you were the one
that said

1194
00:57:48,736 --> 00:57:49,603
the other guy had no talent.

1195
00:57:49,637 --> 00:57:51,906
I mean, say what you will
about Chase,

1196
00:57:51,939 --> 00:57:54,542
but he's very talented.

1197
00:57:54,575 --> 00:57:57,912
Uh, I could eat.

1198
00:57:57,945 --> 00:57:59,747
Be my guest.

1199
00:58:05,820 --> 00:58:08,622
I can't do it
if you're watching.

1200
00:58:08,656 --> 00:58:10,658
By all means.

1201
00:59:02,176 --> 00:59:04,678
What did this guy eat?

1202
00:59:04,712 --> 00:59:07,648
Oh, about a dozen sedatives.

1203
00:59:07,681 --> 00:59:08,849
What?

1204
00:59:08,883 --> 00:59:10,117
He...

1205
00:59:10,151 --> 00:59:12,053
You...

1206
00:59:12,086 --> 00:59:14,188
- You said it first, Bob.
- Oh, no.

1207
00:59:14,221 --> 00:59:15,956
Life's too short.

1208
00:59:15,990 --> 00:59:17,124
Mine is anyway.

1209
00:59:17,158 --> 00:59:18,292
Well, I don't have
another half decade

1210
00:59:18,325 --> 00:59:19,193
to give to you, so what?

1211
00:59:19,226 --> 00:59:21,896
That you'll give me
maybe a leg up?

1212
00:59:21,929 --> 00:59:23,931
Or worse, I'll end up
like your little...

1213
00:59:23,964 --> 00:59:25,232
What was her name? Corrie?

1214
00:59:25,266 --> 00:59:26,667
Is that right?

1215
00:59:26,700 --> 00:59:28,736
Not me, Bob.

1216
00:59:28,769 --> 00:59:30,271
I'll...

1217
00:59:48,756 --> 00:59:51,859
Fine, drama.

1218
01:00:04,305 --> 01:00:07,141
Your boss ate Chase Morrow.

1219
01:00:07,174 --> 01:00:09,076
- Yes.
- The movie star?

1220
01:00:09,110 --> 01:00:11,112
He does movies now, yes.

1221
01:00:11,145 --> 01:00:14,682
Because he's a monster.

1222
01:00:14,715 --> 01:00:17,051
- Yes.
- What? Like a vampire?

1223
01:00:17,084 --> 01:00:18,152
I don't know.
Do you believe me, Belinda?

1224
01:00:18,185 --> 01:00:19,186
No!

1225
01:00:19,220 --> 01:00:21,155
Like, maybe because it's like
some metaphor.

1226
01:00:21,188 --> 01:00:23,991
Or like a really bad prank,
then maybe I'd believe you,

1227
01:00:24,024 --> 01:00:25,292
but this is just another reason

1228
01:00:25,326 --> 01:00:26,961
why you have to quit
this stupid fuck...

1229
01:00:26,994 --> 01:00:29,930
Oh, fuck!

1230
01:00:29,964 --> 01:00:32,066
- Oh my, I'm gonna throw up!
- Don't be sick for me, please.

1231
01:00:32,099 --> 01:00:33,434
Okay, I know. It's okay.

1232
01:00:33,467 --> 01:00:34,869
- You made me an accessory!
- I wouldn't have done it

1233
01:00:34,902 --> 01:00:35,903
if there was any other way.

1234
01:00:35,936 --> 01:00:37,371
Please, Belinda, please.

1235
01:00:37,404 --> 01:00:39,406
Fuck, fuck, fuck.

1236
01:00:45,980 --> 01:00:47,148
What are we gonna do?

1237
01:00:50,251 --> 01:00:51,819
We're gonna get rid of it.

1238
01:00:51,852 --> 01:00:53,154
Ow!

1239
01:00:53,187 --> 01:00:54,688
- You know what you're doing?
- What?

1240
01:00:54,722 --> 01:00:57,024
Every Tuesday,
you're moving my car.

1241
01:00:57,057 --> 01:00:58,225
- Alternate parking.
- You bet.

1242
01:00:58,259 --> 01:01:01,262
- I'm sleeping in.
- I'll come back with a coffee.

1243
01:01:01,295 --> 01:01:03,264
Yeah, fuckin' latte.

1244
01:01:06,767 --> 01:01:07,902
Okay. You know what else?

1245
01:01:07,935 --> 01:01:09,303
- What?
- I want to...

1246
01:01:09,336 --> 01:01:10,771
- What?
- I want to use your deodorant.

1247
01:01:10,804 --> 01:01:12,206
What? You want to use
my deodorant?

1248
01:01:12,239 --> 01:01:13,207
Yeah, I do.

1249
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:14,909
You're a freak.

1250
01:01:14,942 --> 01:01:16,110
You know what?
I just want to do it.

1251
01:01:16,143 --> 01:01:17,878
Okay, well, you can do it, okay?

1252
01:01:17,912 --> 01:01:20,147
Okay.

1253
01:01:20,181 --> 01:01:21,749
So it doesn't.

1254
01:01:28,856 --> 01:01:30,124
That's probably just the road.

1255
01:01:30,157 --> 01:01:31,859
No, I don't want to do this.

1256
01:01:31,892 --> 01:01:33,394
Yep.

1257
01:01:39,033 --> 01:01:40,434
Okay, okay.

1258
01:01:40,467 --> 01:01:41,869
- Oh my God.
- What?

1259
01:01:41,902 --> 01:01:44,138
- Sink.
- Sink, Bob, sink, please.

1260
01:01:44,171 --> 01:01:45,906
Sink, come on!

1261
01:01:47,441 --> 01:01:49,243
Maybe if I just...

1262
01:01:49,276 --> 01:01:53,113
- You got me?
- I got you, I got you.

1263
01:01:53,147 --> 01:01:55,282
- Careful, careful.
- I can't, I can't, I can't.

1264
01:01:55,316 --> 01:01:57,251
That's smart.
Yeah, that's probably smart.

1265
01:01:57,284 --> 01:01:58,819
Okay.

1266
01:02:02,122 --> 01:02:03,424
Sink! Come on!

1267
01:02:03,457 --> 01:02:05,826
Please, just fucking sink!

1268
01:02:05,859 --> 01:02:08,229
Oh my God. Oh my God.

1269
01:02:08,262 --> 01:02:09,396
Oh my God, it's sinking!

1270
01:02:09,430 --> 01:02:11,031
It's sinking!

1271
01:02:14,935 --> 01:02:17,805
Okay, we've done it.

1272
01:02:17,838 --> 01:02:19,106
Thank you.

1273
01:02:19,139 --> 01:02:20,241
Wait, wait, no, no, no.

1274
01:02:20,274 --> 01:02:21,308
No, no. No, no, no.

1275
01:02:21,342 --> 01:02:22,476
No, we are not there yet.

1276
01:02:22,510 --> 01:02:23,410
- No, nuh-uh.
- Okay, I get that.

1277
01:02:23,444 --> 01:02:24,878
This is the last time
I do this for you.

1278
01:02:24,912 --> 01:02:27,047
Whenever you're ready.

1279
01:02:34,488 --> 01:02:37,925
Hey, I haven't seen you at all
and I was hoping

1280
01:02:37,958 --> 01:02:39,927
you were gonna come
to the show tonight.

1281
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:42,963
Still no sign of Bob,
but, uh, we're doing it anyway.

1282
01:02:42,997 --> 01:02:45,366
Well, I'm doing it, actually.

1283
01:02:45,399 --> 01:02:48,936
Um, so, yeah,
I just thought it'd be cool

1284
01:02:48,969 --> 01:02:52,139
to have you here, um,

1285
01:02:52,172 --> 01:02:55,075
because I miss you.

1286
01:02:55,109 --> 01:02:57,444
Um, yeah. So, there, I said it.

1287
01:02:57,478 --> 01:02:59,213
You officially have
the upper hand.

1288
01:02:59,246 --> 01:03:00,548
Okay, uh, your move.

1289
01:03:00,582 --> 01:03:02,182
- Bye, Jimmy.
- Still no sign of Bob, huh?

1290
01:03:02,216 --> 01:03:03,817
Uh, yeah, no.

1291
01:03:03,851 --> 01:03:06,420
You want to choose
one of these gels?

1292
01:03:06,453 --> 01:03:09,123
- What?
- Gels.

1293
01:03:09,156 --> 01:03:13,027
Bob was very particular
about his blues, so...

1294
01:03:13,060 --> 01:03:15,262
Oh. No, I trust you.

1295
01:03:15,296 --> 01:03:17,331
Whatever you think is right.

1296
01:03:17,364 --> 01:03:19,366
No. You choose.

1297
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:22,336
Choose a blue.

1298
01:03:22,369 --> 01:03:24,938
No, I... do you like the one
you're holding?

1299
01:03:24,972 --> 01:03:26,840
Do you like it?

1300
01:03:26,874 --> 01:03:28,275
Yeah, it looks blue.

1301
01:03:30,110 --> 01:03:31,245
Can you please pick a gel?

1302
01:03:31,278 --> 01:03:33,213
How about we do the one
in your hand?

1303
01:03:33,247 --> 01:03:36,250
- Great, thank you.
- Okay, cool. Great choice.

1304
01:03:36,283 --> 01:03:38,185
Thank you.

1305
01:03:40,154 --> 01:03:43,123
♪ Nothin' ever happens
by the lake ♪

1306
01:03:45,926 --> 01:03:49,897
♪ Nothin' ever happens
by the lake ♪

1307
01:03:55,469 --> 01:03:58,205
Sir...

1308
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:02,376
Excuse me, sir, can I help you?

1309
01:04:02,409 --> 01:04:04,646
Sir!

1310
01:04:07,348 --> 01:04:09,383
Oh, uh,

1311
01:04:09,416 --> 01:04:12,319
it's just that after hours,

1312
01:04:12,353 --> 01:04:15,889
we're supposed to sign
folks in and out so, um...

1313
01:04:20,027 --> 01:04:23,531
You know,
forget I said anything

1314
01:04:23,565 --> 01:04:27,635
and, uh, you have a nice night.

1315
01:04:27,669 --> 01:04:32,039
Just gonna walk backwards
for a little while.

1316
01:04:34,576 --> 01:04:35,976
Have a good one.

1317
01:04:53,595 --> 01:04:55,028
You got this, okay.

1318
01:04:55,062 --> 01:04:56,363
You've seen it
a thousand times.

1319
01:04:56,397 --> 01:04:58,298
Hi, my name is Violet.

1320
01:04:58,332 --> 01:05:00,200
Hi, my name... huh...

1321
01:05:00,234 --> 01:05:01,669
Welcome to Too Late.

1322
01:05:08,308 --> 01:05:10,678
Hello. Good evening.

1323
01:05:10,712 --> 01:05:13,147
Welcome to Too Late.

1324
01:05:13,180 --> 01:05:14,616
I'm, um...

1325
01:05:14,649 --> 01:05:17,017
Uh, Bob Devore is not...

1326
01:05:17,050 --> 01:05:18,586
he's not gonna be
hosting tonight.

1327
01:05:23,991 --> 01:05:26,059
Sorry, I had a little...

1328
01:05:26,093 --> 01:05:27,494
It's like
one of those salt cra...

1329
01:05:27,529 --> 01:05:28,996
I just had a little...

1330
01:05:29,029 --> 01:05:30,964
Pita is the word.
A pita cracker.

1331
01:05:30,998 --> 01:05:34,468
- Um, my name is Violet.
- Fuck yeah, it is!

1332
01:05:34,501 --> 01:05:36,136
Yeah!

1333
01:05:38,272 --> 01:05:39,607
Those are my friends.

1334
01:05:39,641 --> 01:05:41,609
Um, yeah, my name is Violet
and, actually,

1335
01:05:41,643 --> 01:05:44,311
I'm gonna be hosting
the show tonight.

1336
01:05:44,344 --> 01:05:46,346
I am at a point
in my gender transition

1337
01:05:46,380 --> 01:05:48,382
where a trace amount of sexism

1338
01:05:48,415 --> 01:05:51,084
is also really validating
for me.

1339
01:05:51,118 --> 01:05:52,119
I was walking
through a neighborhood,

1340
01:05:52,152 --> 01:05:54,154
there was a guy on a stoop,
he saw me walk by,

1341
01:05:54,188 --> 01:05:55,757
he goes,
"Hey, girl, you like music?"

1342
01:05:55,790 --> 01:05:57,191
And I do like music.

1343
01:05:57,224 --> 01:05:58,459
And then I heard his buddy go,

1344
01:05:58,492 --> 01:05:59,527
"Hey, man, that's not a girl,"

1345
01:05:59,561 --> 01:06:01,195
and I'm like, "Oh no,
I'm gonna get stabbed,

1346
01:06:01,228 --> 01:06:03,330
this is gonna be a sad story."

1347
01:06:03,363 --> 01:06:05,466
And then he added,
"That's a woman."

1348
01:06:05,499 --> 01:06:06,634
Woo!

1349
01:06:06,668 --> 01:06:08,469
Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

1350
01:06:08,502 --> 01:06:09,704
The only thing I think to do

1351
01:06:09,737 --> 01:06:11,539
with, like,
an affirming cat call

1352
01:06:11,573 --> 01:06:13,407
was to, like, stop,
and flip my hair,

1353
01:06:13,440 --> 01:06:14,576
and name a product.

1354
01:06:17,311 --> 01:06:19,446
Right? "Hey, man, that's not
a girl, that's a woman,"

1355
01:06:19,480 --> 01:06:23,350
and I'm like,
"Feria by L'Oréal.

1356
01:06:23,383 --> 01:06:25,018
Maybe she's born with it

1357
01:06:25,052 --> 01:06:27,020
or maybe she did go
to a series of doctors."

1358
01:06:31,492 --> 01:06:34,696
Does anybody...
who likes Shakespeare?

1359
01:06:34,729 --> 01:06:36,129
Ah!

1360
01:06:36,163 --> 01:06:38,198
- Hi.
- Hi.

1361
01:06:38,232 --> 01:06:41,502
Um, so, Bob's gone, huh?

1362
01:06:41,536 --> 01:06:43,136
Mm-hm.

1363
01:06:43,170 --> 01:06:44,471
- You wouldn't know.
- Thanks.

1364
01:06:44,506 --> 01:06:47,407
Yes, I just wanted to...

1365
01:06:47,441 --> 01:06:48,141
- You go.
- Okay,

1366
01:06:48,175 --> 01:06:49,142
I didn't want to kiss Chase.

1367
01:06:49,176 --> 01:06:53,180
He just grabbed my face
and had his way with it.

1368
01:06:53,213 --> 01:06:56,083
- I kind of wanted to kill him.
- Me too.

1369
01:06:56,116 --> 01:06:57,384
You were right about the pilot.

1370
01:06:57,417 --> 01:06:58,553
I shouldn't have taken the job.

1371
01:06:58,586 --> 01:06:59,687
Bob should've offered it to you,

1372
01:06:59,721 --> 01:07:03,323
and I never should've
jumped ahead of you for it.

1373
01:07:03,357 --> 01:07:04,759
Uh, I have to tell you
something.

1374
01:07:04,792 --> 01:07:06,728
If you... do you have any...
can you just stay here?

1375
01:07:06,761 --> 01:07:08,730
- Okay.
- Okay.

1376
01:07:35,723 --> 01:07:37,224
Phew.

1377
01:07:48,736 --> 01:07:51,238
- Bob fuckin' who?
- Oh, thank you.

1378
01:07:51,271 --> 01:07:52,674
Just promise me you won't
start doing stand-up, okay?

1379
01:07:52,707 --> 01:07:53,675
I don't want
to have to hate you, too.

1380
01:07:53,708 --> 01:07:55,442
- Okay.
- Hello.

1381
01:07:55,475 --> 01:08:00,147
Hey, speaking of incredibly
talented people I despise.

1382
01:08:00,180 --> 01:08:01,148
What's up? What's up?

1383
01:08:01,181 --> 01:08:02,584
Are we fighting still?

1384
01:08:02,617 --> 01:08:05,352
Okay. All right,
you guys are good?

1385
01:08:05,385 --> 01:08:06,688
Come on, just kiss and make up.

1386
01:08:06,721 --> 01:08:08,322
- Please.
- Thank you.

1387
01:08:08,355 --> 01:08:09,891
Thank you, that's very helpful.

1388
01:08:14,729 --> 01:08:17,497
You really were great tonight.

1389
01:08:17,532 --> 01:08:19,601
Thanks.

1390
01:08:19,634 --> 01:08:22,670
So what did you want to...

1391
01:08:22,704 --> 01:08:23,605
- Okay.
- Okay.

1392
01:08:23,638 --> 01:08:25,205
Okay.

1393
01:08:25,238 --> 01:08:26,841
Here we go.

1394
01:08:26,874 --> 01:08:28,910
Okay.

1395
01:08:37,619 --> 01:08:39,419
- Bob?
- Uh-huh.

1396
01:08:39,453 --> 01:08:43,524
Not like a metaphorical monster?

1397
01:08:50,965 --> 01:08:53,668
Wait. Chase?

1398
01:08:53,701 --> 01:08:55,737
- Like the movie...
- Shh.

1399
01:08:55,770 --> 01:08:57,739
- The movie star Chase?
- Yeah, that's the one.

1400
01:08:57,772 --> 01:09:00,374
You and Belinda...

1401
01:09:02,275 --> 01:09:06,213
Fuck you.

1402
01:09:06,246 --> 01:09:07,815
Everything I've told you
is the truth

1403
01:09:07,849 --> 01:09:09,817
and you're the only person
in the world who knows it.

1404
01:09:09,851 --> 01:09:11,284
Mm-hm.

1405
01:09:11,318 --> 01:09:13,387
- Me and Belinda.
- You and Belinda.

1406
01:09:13,420 --> 01:09:16,356
Mm-hm. I don't get it.

1407
01:09:16,390 --> 01:09:17,324
It's the truth.

1408
01:09:17,357 --> 01:09:18,860
I don't believe you.

1409
01:09:18,893 --> 01:09:22,697
That's the only thing
I'm asking you to do.

1410
01:09:22,730 --> 01:09:24,632
I'll talk to you soon.

1411
01:09:25,967 --> 01:09:28,402
You really were great tonight.

1412
01:09:46,688 --> 01:09:48,623
Come back for you.

1413
01:10:06,473 --> 01:10:07,675
How was the show?

1414
01:10:07,709 --> 01:10:09,977
Did you make me proud?

1415
01:10:10,011 --> 01:10:11,879
I'm sorry, Bob.

1416
01:10:11,913 --> 01:10:14,448
You will be.

1417
01:10:14,481 --> 01:10:16,918
I had to do it.

1418
01:10:16,951 --> 01:10:18,351
Of course you did.

1419
01:10:18,385 --> 01:10:20,621
It was a clever trick
you played.

1420
01:10:20,655 --> 01:10:22,957
Maybe you're funnier
than I thought.

1421
01:10:25,660 --> 01:10:27,028
Get away from me.

1422
01:10:27,061 --> 01:10:29,831
You're in my home, Violet.

1423
01:10:29,864 --> 01:10:31,331
You know, we didn't have much,

1424
01:10:31,364 --> 01:10:33,568
but we did have trust,
didn't we?

1425
01:10:33,601 --> 01:10:35,703
You don't have to do this, Bob.

1426
01:10:35,737 --> 01:10:38,271
- I can go away.
- You and I both know

1427
01:10:38,305 --> 01:10:41,576
there is only one way
this can end.

1428
01:10:51,451 --> 01:10:52,486
You know what
I had to go through

1429
01:10:52,520 --> 01:10:54,321
to get here tonight?

1430
01:10:54,354 --> 01:10:58,325
Chase did not agree with me.

1431
01:10:58,358 --> 01:11:02,496
And, now, I'm starving.

1432
01:11:04,766 --> 01:11:07,568
Go ahead.

1433
01:11:09,837 --> 01:11:12,339
I'm just as guilty
as you are, Bob.

1434
01:11:12,372 --> 01:11:15,710
Every single thing
you asked for, I did.

1435
01:11:15,743 --> 01:11:18,378
Every single task,

1436
01:11:18,411 --> 01:11:20,848
every single chore,

1437
01:11:20,882 --> 01:11:23,017
every single person.

1438
01:11:24,417 --> 01:11:25,987
All for what?

1439
01:11:26,020 --> 01:11:29,356
So that I could avoid obscurity,

1440
01:11:29,389 --> 01:11:31,358
maybe death,

1441
01:11:31,391 --> 01:11:32,860
or getting a real job.

1442
01:11:32,894 --> 01:11:35,897
You were nothing
when I found you.

1443
01:11:35,930 --> 01:11:37,832
You could've been so much more.

1444
01:11:37,865 --> 01:11:39,834
You're right, Bob.

1445
01:11:39,867 --> 01:11:42,603
I'm nothing.

1446
01:11:42,637 --> 01:11:45,840
I died the day I met you.

1447
01:11:45,873 --> 01:11:47,642
So go ahead.

1448
01:11:47,675 --> 01:11:50,111
Do what you do best.

1449
01:12:07,695 --> 01:12:09,630
Violet?

1450
01:12:09,664 --> 01:12:11,799
Violet, are you in here?

1451
01:12:13,968 --> 01:12:15,368
Bob?

1452
01:12:16,604 --> 01:12:17,939
Jimmy.

1453
01:12:17,972 --> 01:12:19,439
Jimmy!

1454
01:12:19,472 --> 01:12:20,708
Hey.

1455
01:12:20,741 --> 01:12:23,511
What are you do...

1456
01:12:23,544 --> 01:12:25,079
Oh my God.

1457
01:12:25,112 --> 01:12:28,716
You are a monster.

1458
01:12:28,749 --> 01:12:31,619
I was going to tell you.

1459
01:12:31,652 --> 01:12:32,954
- About this?
- Well, yeah,

1460
01:12:32,987 --> 01:12:34,622
we're gonna be
working closely together

1461
01:12:34,655 --> 01:12:37,091
for several months,
so I think you should know.

1462
01:12:37,124 --> 01:12:39,727
That you eat people.

1463
01:12:39,760 --> 01:12:41,394
Jimmy, both you and I know

1464
01:12:41,428 --> 01:12:44,599
that comedians
aren't really people.

1465
01:12:44,632 --> 01:12:45,766
Oh my God.

1466
01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:47,702
People come and people go.

1467
01:12:47,735 --> 01:12:50,470
Nobody knows why
and nobody really cares.

1468
01:12:50,503 --> 01:12:51,873
Think of how many people
have gone in

1469
01:12:51,906 --> 01:12:53,473
and out of your life

1470
01:12:53,507 --> 01:12:54,976
and you don't even remember
their faces,

1471
01:12:55,009 --> 01:12:56,944
let alone their names.

1472
01:12:56,978 --> 01:13:00,581
Am I really that bad
when you come to think of it?

1473
01:13:00,615 --> 01:13:04,118
You eat people.

1474
01:13:04,151 --> 01:13:07,021
Yeah, but none of them
had a career.

1475
01:13:07,054 --> 01:13:08,823
None of them had a name.

1476
01:13:08,856 --> 01:13:11,759
Well, Chase, but I think
we can all agree

1477
01:13:11,792 --> 01:13:13,594
that he had it coming.

1478
01:13:13,628 --> 01:13:16,097
Wait...

1479
01:13:16,130 --> 01:13:17,798
Where's Violet?

1480
01:13:17,832 --> 01:13:20,001
I need help sometimes,
and she just couldn't

1481
01:13:20,034 --> 01:13:21,602
help me anymore,
you understand?

1482
01:13:21,636 --> 01:13:22,670
What did you do?

1483
01:13:22,703 --> 01:13:24,739
I do what I will!

1484
01:13:26,607 --> 01:13:27,942
All right,
here's what's gonna happen.

1485
01:13:27,975 --> 01:13:29,677
You're going to go home,

1486
01:13:29,710 --> 01:13:31,946
you're going to tell no one
what you saw,

1487
01:13:31,979 --> 01:13:34,081
and when I need you,
I'll call.

1488
01:13:34,115 --> 01:13:35,850
- You're insane.
- Look, there are two kinds

1489
01:13:35,883 --> 01:13:39,120
of people in this world,
the eaters and the eaten.

1490
01:13:39,153 --> 01:13:42,590
To survive, you're going
to have to learn how to eat.

1491
01:13:42,623 --> 01:13:44,091
And I can show you
if you'll let me.

1492
01:13:44,125 --> 01:13:45,626
Someone will stop you.

1493
01:13:45,660 --> 01:13:47,460
Look around you, kid.

1494
01:13:47,494 --> 01:13:49,597
You'll do
what everyone else does.

1495
01:13:49,630 --> 01:13:54,001
You'll shut your mouth
and you'll play the game.

1496
01:13:54,035 --> 01:13:55,102
No one will stop me!

1497
01:13:55,136 --> 01:13:58,739
Not you, not Violet.

1498
01:14:11,953 --> 01:14:13,888
Ah!

1499
01:14:13,921 --> 01:14:17,758
You can't do this!

1500
01:14:25,066 --> 01:14:27,835
I don't work for you
anymore, Bob.

1501
01:14:39,981 --> 01:14:42,783
- I came back to tell you...
- It doesn't matter.

1502
01:14:42,817 --> 01:14:46,887
The impulse to be all, like,
coy and removed and meta,

1503
01:14:46,921 --> 01:14:49,190
but, like,
I love to see you shine.

1504
01:14:49,223 --> 01:14:51,192
Even if that means I don't win

1505
01:14:51,225 --> 01:14:54,662
because I love to see you shine
so, so much more

1506
01:14:54,695 --> 01:14:58,199
than I love to win
because I love you.

1507
01:14:58,232 --> 01:14:59,934
Please stop talking, okay?

1508
01:14:59,967 --> 01:15:01,902
- Okay.
- Okay.

1509
01:15:04,772 --> 01:15:05,973
Oh.

1510
01:15:06,007 --> 01:15:08,776
Okay, yeah, that's disgusting.

1511
01:15:08,809 --> 01:15:11,645
- I don't care.
- Okay, me neither.

1512
01:15:17,818 --> 01:15:19,687
The rent is more
than we had budgeted,

1513
01:15:19,720 --> 01:15:21,589
but I think we should take it

1514
01:15:21,622 --> 01:15:23,290
because we're not
gonna do any better

1515
01:15:23,324 --> 01:15:24,959
and I'm excited
to move in with you

1516
01:15:24,992 --> 01:15:27,228
because I love you,
which is a thing we say now

1517
01:15:27,261 --> 01:15:28,696
without feeling weird.

1518
01:15:28,729 --> 01:15:31,032
- We sure do.
- Have fun tonight.

1519
01:15:31,065 --> 01:15:33,134
Crazier things have happened.

1520
01:15:33,167 --> 01:15:35,002
Bye.

1521
01:15:38,272 --> 01:15:40,141
- Hey, aren't you Violet?
- I am.

1522
01:15:40,174 --> 01:15:41,909
Used to work
for Bob Devore, right?

1523
01:15:41,942 --> 01:15:43,210
- I did, yeah.
- Oh.

1524
01:15:43,244 --> 01:15:45,212
Whatever happened to that guy?

1525
01:15:45,246 --> 01:15:47,181
People come, people go.

1526
01:15:47,214 --> 01:15:48,816
He was one of a kind.

1527
01:15:48,849 --> 01:15:50,017
God, I hope so.

1528
01:15:50,051 --> 01:15:51,886
- Are you still booking?
- No.

1529
01:15:51,919 --> 01:15:53,120
So what do you do now?

1530
01:15:55,389 --> 01:15:58,793
So I was like, "Hey, officer,
I'm not wearing pants."

1531
01:16:01,162 --> 01:16:02,730
Okay, you guys have been
so awesome.

1532
01:16:02,763 --> 01:16:04,698
Are you ready
for your next comedian? Yeah?

1533
01:16:04,732 --> 01:16:06,967
Okay, yes, please
put your hands together

1534
01:16:07,001 --> 01:16:09,637
for the very funny
Violet Fields.

1535
01:16:11,072 --> 01:16:12,573
Thanks, girl.

1536
01:16:30,481 --> 01:16:35,481
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