1
00:00:13,738 --> 00:00:16,698
THEY LAUGH

2
00:00:16,818 --> 00:00:19,658
What time do you reckon it is now
then? About 6.30?

3
00:00:20,738 --> 00:00:22,698
I've got a question for you.

4
00:00:22,818 --> 00:00:24,698
Do you think it's too early to
put the washing on?

5
00:00:24,818 --> 00:00:26,018
Yes!

6
00:00:26,858 --> 00:00:28,858
Did you hear Ray go for a piss in the night?

7
00:00:28,978 --> 00:00:31,338
No, I'm gutted I missed that, though.

8
00:00:31,458 --> 00:00:34,338
It went on for ages.

9
00:00:34,458 --> 00:00:36,498
I thought there was a horse
in there with him.

10
00:00:36,618 --> 00:00:39,178
Apart from that, how's it going?

11
00:00:39,298 --> 00:00:40,818
I'm having a nice time.

12
00:00:40,938 --> 00:00:42,818
Oh, yeah? I am!

13
00:00:42,938 --> 00:00:44,138
Stop worrying.

14
00:00:44,258 --> 00:00:45,258
There they are!

15
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:46,578
Hiding!

16
00:00:49,298 --> 00:00:53,018
Morning. Morning. Morning.

17
00:00:53,138 --> 00:00:54,658
Did you sleep well, Donna?

18
00:00:54,778 --> 00:00:55,978
Um, yeah, thanks.

19
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,178
You?

20
00:00:57,298 --> 00:00:58,578
No, never do.

21
00:00:58,698 --> 00:01:00,138
Oh.

22
00:01:00,258 --> 00:01:03,818
My mind is always incredibly busy
in the middle of the night.

23
00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:05,858
Sorry to hear that.

24
00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:07,458
No, no, no, not at all.

25
00:01:07,578 --> 00:01:09,218
I absolutely love it.

26
00:01:09,338 --> 00:01:10,698
Are you wearing lip gloss?

27
00:01:10,818 --> 00:01:12,418
No, it's Canesten.

28
00:01:12,538 --> 00:01:15,818
I've a very strict cosmetic regime
first thing in the morning

29
00:01:15,938 --> 00:01:18,458
because I have a high level of skin yeast.

30
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,058
Oh.

31
00:01:20,178 --> 00:01:22,658
Yeah, if I didn't use it, my face
would be as red as a fire engine.

32
00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:24,178
Ding-ding!

33
00:01:26,258 --> 00:01:27,338
Right.

34
00:01:27,458 --> 00:01:29,578
Well, best crack on. Yeah.

35
00:01:29,698 --> 00:01:32,538
There's a breakfast cookie in
the kitchen as big as a baby's face,

36
00:01:32,658 --> 00:01:34,418
and it's got my name on it.

37
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,578
Is he ever in a bad mood?

38
00:01:44,698 --> 00:01:46,618
Never. Oh, dear.

39
00:01:46,738 --> 00:01:49,778
Do you want to try
and get a bit of extra kip?

40
00:01:49,898 --> 00:01:51,378
Definitely.

41
00:02:00,338 --> 00:02:03,418
Sis, your cardi's here, love.

42
00:02:03,538 --> 00:02:05,338
Can you feel it?

43
00:02:15,938 --> 00:02:18,618
Alan Titchmarsh has moved to
the island, Donna.

44
00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:20,818
Oh, has he?

45
00:02:20,938 --> 00:02:24,458
Yeah, we saw him in Morrisons down
one of the aisles, didn't we, Ray?

46
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:27,858
Yeah, yeah, we asked him
which slug pellets he recommended.

47
00:02:27,978 --> 00:02:29,938
Lots of famous people have lived
on the island

48
00:02:30,058 --> 00:02:31,258
at one time or other, Donna.

49
00:02:31,378 --> 00:02:32,658
Charles Dickens.

50
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,498
Mahatma Gandhi.

51
00:02:34,618 --> 00:02:35,818
Phill Jupitus. Oh!

52
00:02:36,818 --> 00:02:38,618
Shaw Taylor from Police 5.

53
00:02:38,738 --> 00:02:40,378
I don't know him.

54
00:02:40,498 --> 00:02:43,058
We ran in to him in Totland, once.

55
00:02:43,178 --> 00:02:44,538
Oooh, he had aged.

56
00:02:44,658 --> 00:02:46,658
Yeah, I don't know who that is.

57
00:02:46,778 --> 00:02:48,738
Keep 'em peeled.

58
00:02:48,858 --> 00:02:50,898
Sorry, I don't know what that is, Ray.

59
00:02:51,018 --> 00:02:54,298
Just nod along, otherwise this will
go on all afternoon.

60
00:02:54,418 --> 00:02:56,778
Have you ever lived near anyone
famous, Donna?

61
00:02:56,898 --> 00:02:58,818
Um, no, no, not really.

62
00:02:58,938 --> 00:03:03,978
I suppose Anne Hegerty from
The Chase lived in the next village.

63
00:03:04,098 --> 00:03:05,418
What?

64
00:03:09,578 --> 00:03:10,578
What?

65
00:03:10,698 --> 00:03:12,578
Why didn't you mentioned
this before? Um...

66
00:03:12,698 --> 00:03:15,298
We love The Chase.
Oh, I didn't know.

67
00:03:15,418 --> 00:03:18,418
We record them all and then watch
them in the evening, don't we, Sue?

68
00:03:18,538 --> 00:03:21,818
Yeah, I can't believe you know Anne Hegerty.

69
00:03:21,938 --> 00:03:23,738
We've got some episodes to catch up on.

70
00:03:23,858 --> 00:03:25,858
We can watch them tonight!

71
00:03:25,978 --> 00:03:27,818
Well, that's our evening sorted.

72
00:03:27,938 --> 00:03:30,018
Yeah, I'm definitely going to
bed early. Hiya!

73
00:03:30,138 --> 00:03:31,298
Hello!

74
00:03:31,418 --> 00:03:33,218
Hi, Garth. SUE: Hi, Garthy.

75
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,778
Lunch is on its way, Rose.

76
00:03:34,898 --> 00:03:36,818
Shepherd's pie and a pud-pud.

77
00:03:36,938 --> 00:03:38,138
Thanks, Garth.

78
00:03:38,978 --> 00:03:42,258
Garthy, this is Donna, Simon's girlfriend.

79
00:03:42,378 --> 00:03:43,498
They're over for the weekend,

80
00:03:43,618 --> 00:03:46,298
and Donna's never been to the island before.

81
00:03:46,418 --> 00:03:48,538
Ooh, get out while you still can!

82
00:03:48,658 --> 00:03:51,138
We're all a bunch of odd-bods!

83
00:03:57,298 --> 00:04:00,098
Just to let you know, she was
a little bit weepy yesterday.

84
00:04:00,218 --> 00:04:04,058
But she had some tomato soup
and Jane sang Whitney Houston

85
00:04:04,178 --> 00:04:06,258
for her and she seemed to brighten up a bit.

86
00:04:06,378 --> 00:04:08,818
Oh, that's good, well, I must thank Jane.

87
00:04:08,938 --> 00:04:11,778
Cor, gimme 20 minutes,
I'd know how to thank her.

88
00:04:11,898 --> 00:04:13,938
More like 20 seconds, Donna.

89
00:04:14,058 --> 00:04:15,618
You should be so lucky, Ray,

90
00:04:15,738 --> 00:04:17,578
Jane was nearly a member of
Brotherhood of Man.

91
00:04:17,698 --> 00:04:20,018
Really? Yeah. I didn't know that.

92
00:04:20,139 --> 00:04:22,898
In the auditions,
she got down to the last 150.

93
00:04:23,019 --> 00:04:25,599
Now, can I get anyone a drinkie poo?

94
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,353
No, we're all fine, thank you.

95
00:04:28,474 --> 00:04:29,858
I'll leave you all to it then.

96
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,910
- See you in a tick-tock.
- See you, Garth.

97
00:04:35,835 --> 00:04:38,407
Garth's got terrible halitosis,

98
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,738
but he's a fantastic ballroom dancer.

99
00:04:40,858 --> 00:04:43,692
I can't get my head round
that he's married with six kids.

100
00:04:43,813 --> 00:04:46,109
Why do you think he's gay, Ray?

101
00:04:46,523 --> 00:04:47,738
Oh, let's think.

102
00:04:47,858 --> 00:04:52,319
He's a male nurse and he says "tick-tock"
and "pud-pud" every half hour.

103
00:04:52,780 --> 00:04:56,810
- Come on, behave, Sue.
- Can I give Simon his present, Sue?

104
00:04:57,618 --> 00:05:00,262
Of course you can.
Oh, yes, please, here we go.

105
00:05:01,286 --> 00:05:02,679
Blimey!

106
00:05:03,614 --> 00:05:04,825
Bloody hell!

107
00:05:07,247 --> 00:05:08,449
Now,

108
00:05:09,554 --> 00:05:13,256
obviously, I bought it for her
but she did give me the money.

109
00:05:14,583 --> 00:05:18,081
- Do you want to sit here Ray?
- No, no, you're all right, Sue.

110
00:05:37,018 --> 00:05:39,120
What an extraordinary nose!

111
00:05:40,802 --> 00:05:42,258
What is it, Mum?

112
00:05:42,378 --> 00:05:43,915
It's for the garden.

113
00:05:44,036 --> 00:05:46,665
We thought it would be a bit of fun,
didn't we, Rose?

114
00:05:46,793 --> 00:05:49,856
Look at his little face,
it's what you wanted, isn't it?

115
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:52,919
What am I meant to do with it?

116
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,978
We thought you could put
it in the back garden.

117
00:05:55,098 --> 00:05:57,732
- What, buried?
- Oh, shut up.

118
00:05:57,853 --> 00:06:00,132
If it was left to you,
he wouldn't have a present.

119
00:06:00,253 --> 00:06:03,039
- That would have been preferable.
- Do you like it, Donna?

120
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,898
Yes, Auntie Rose, it's really nice.

121
00:06:06,018 --> 00:06:07,578
Do you like it, Simon?

122
00:06:07,698 --> 00:06:09,884
Oh, he absolutely loves it.

123
00:06:10,005 --> 00:06:11,294
Have you kept the receipt?

124
00:06:11,415 --> 00:06:13,526
Well, you're only 40 once.

125
00:06:13,647 --> 00:06:15,138
Thanks, Auntie Rose.

126
00:06:15,258 --> 00:06:18,884
- Dad, do you want to sit here?
- David, I'm perfectly fine, thank you!

127
00:06:19,005 --> 00:06:20,340
Trolley Dolly's here!

128
00:06:22,614 --> 00:06:25,298
Your lunch is here, Rose,
so we'll get out of your hair.

129
00:06:25,460 --> 00:06:27,462
Lovely to see you, Auntie Rose.

130
00:06:27,583 --> 00:06:29,829
Happy birthday for tomorrow.

131
00:06:30,633 --> 00:06:32,507
- Lovely to meet...
- Bye-bye.

132
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:40,392
We'll see you soon, love.

133
00:06:41,244 --> 00:06:43,086
Bye-bye, Garthy.
Thank you.

134
00:06:43,207 --> 00:06:45,023
Bye, Sue, David.

135
00:06:45,144 --> 00:06:46,494
Ciao Raymondo!

136
00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:49,377
Is he winding me up?

137
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:55,397
Bye, Edith.

138
00:06:57,498 --> 00:06:58,778
Bye, Carol.

139
00:06:58,898 --> 00:07:00,218
Bye, Betty.

140
00:07:00,773 --> 00:07:03,262
- Bye, Freda.
- Piss off!

141
00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:05,405
Oh, dear.

142
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,126
Sorry about that, Donna.

143
00:07:07,771 --> 00:07:10,335
- It's Jane!
- Freda's my favourite.

144
00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:13,968
Hello, Jane!

145
00:07:14,089 --> 00:07:16,991
Hi, Sue!
Hi, Ray.

146
00:07:17,112 --> 00:07:18,662
Hello, Jane.

147
00:07:19,938 --> 00:07:23,138
Jane, thank you so much
for singing to my sister.

148
00:07:23,258 --> 00:07:24,418
You did cheer her up.

149
00:07:24,538 --> 00:07:26,459
Oh, that's what I'm here for!

150
00:07:27,169 --> 00:07:28,502
How's it going with you, love?

151
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:31,289
I've just been booked
to do a little rock and roll gig

152
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:33,595
in a pottery museum next week.

153
00:07:33,716 --> 00:07:36,973
- How lovely!
- And wait for this...

154
00:07:37,094 --> 00:07:40,135
I've started life modelling as well.

155
00:07:40,707 --> 00:07:42,062
Really?

156
00:07:43,198 --> 00:07:45,187
What, nude?

157
00:07:45,738 --> 00:07:47,166
Yes!

158
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:50,698
I don't know how you do that, Jane, I mean,

159
00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:53,522
I know you're gorgeous,
but don't you get embarrassed?

160
00:07:53,643 --> 00:07:56,898
No, you know me,
I'm quite the exhibitionist.

161
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,913
I love being naked.

162
00:07:59,034 --> 00:08:00,313
Any excuse.

163
00:08:00,434 --> 00:08:03,778
Around the house, although
I am lodging at the minute

164
00:08:03,898 --> 00:08:05,775
so I have to keep a lid on it.

165
00:08:08,578 --> 00:08:11,953
Right, I think we'd best go, Sue.

166
00:08:12,383 --> 00:08:13,710
- Bye, Jane.
- See you!

167
00:08:16,458 --> 00:08:20,058
We should go and see Alan Titchmarsh's
house on the way home, shouldn't we?

168
00:08:20,178 --> 00:08:22,259
Ray?
Ray!

169
00:08:23,058 --> 00:08:24,302
Really?

170
00:08:24,723 --> 00:08:26,979
Well, we're going that way, anyway.

171
00:08:28,511 --> 00:08:30,722
- Fine.
- Are you up for that, David?

172
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:33,848
Oh, yes, I greet that plan with open arms!

173
00:08:33,969 --> 00:08:36,888
Mum, me and Donna were going to
pop into Ventnor.

174
00:08:37,009 --> 00:08:39,938
Oh, no, no, no, you do whatever you want.

175
00:08:40,058 --> 00:08:42,543
Change of plan, we'll go to Ventnor instead.

176
00:08:42,664 --> 00:08:44,642
No, it's all right, you go,
we'll get the bus.

177
00:08:44,762 --> 00:08:48,497
Don't be silly,
we don't have to go to Alan Titchmarsh's,

178
00:08:48,618 --> 00:08:52,197
we can drop you in Ventnor
and sit and wait in the car for you.

179
00:08:52,318 --> 00:08:54,578
No, don't do that, go and have a
look at Alan Titchmarsh's house

180
00:08:54,698 --> 00:08:57,268
- and we'll go to Ventnor!
- No, it's all right, we'll take you

181
00:08:57,388 --> 00:08:58,840
and then we'll wait in the car for you.

182
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,018
You can't sit in the car!
I just said, we'll get the bus!

183
00:09:01,138 --> 00:09:04,013
We don't mind waiting in the car, do we?
Ray?!

184
00:09:04,134 --> 00:09:07,748
No, have a wander round Ventnor,
we don't mind,

185
00:09:07,869 --> 00:09:10,048
and then we'll wait for you in the car.

186
00:09:10,169 --> 00:09:13,114
Honestly, don't worry about us,
we'll get the bus, Sue.

187
00:09:13,235 --> 00:09:15,218
Yeah, don't change your plans for us.

188
00:09:15,338 --> 00:09:17,138
No, no, no, you can do whatever you want.

189
00:09:17,258 --> 00:09:18,631
It's your weekend.

190
00:09:18,752 --> 00:09:22,546
You don't even have to have your birthday
lunch with us tomorrow, if you don't want to.

191
00:09:22,666 --> 00:09:25,998
How have we jumped to that? The whole
point of us coming over was for my 40th!

192
00:09:26,118 --> 00:09:27,941
- Jesus!
- Tell him, Ray!

193
00:09:28,062 --> 00:09:29,273
Listen to your mother.

194
00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:32,778
Go and have a wander in Ventnor and
we'll sit in the car and wait for you.

195
00:09:32,899 --> 00:09:34,658
Right, forget it,
we're not going to Ventnor!

196
00:09:34,778 --> 00:09:36,781
I can't be bothered.
It's too much like hard work.

197
00:09:36,901 --> 00:09:38,982
Don't be like that, Simon.

198
00:09:39,103 --> 00:09:43,338
No, let's all just get in the car and
go to bloody Alan Titchmarsh's house!

199
00:09:44,023 --> 00:09:45,978
Hey!
Don't slam the boot, Simon.

200
00:09:46,098 --> 00:09:47,579
Already done it, Ray.

201
00:10:05,298 --> 00:10:06,726
This is it, Dad.

202
00:10:07,097 --> 00:10:08,507
Are you sure?

203
00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:11,048
Yeah, this is the one.

204
00:10:12,996 --> 00:10:15,141
I wonder what his garden looks like.

205
00:10:17,081 --> 00:10:19,283
I imagine it's very well looked after.

206
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,539
Monty Don's wife is called Sarah Don.

207
00:10:36,498 --> 00:10:38,562
What's that got to do with anything?

208
00:10:39,698 --> 00:10:41,917
Right, we've seen it now.
Can we go?

209
00:10:42,472 --> 00:10:46,446
- David, do you want to just film it for Lyn?
- I'd love to.

210
00:10:46,567 --> 00:10:48,858
Oh, for f...!
Why are you filming it for Lyn?

211
00:10:48,978 --> 00:10:52,058
- Because she likes Alan Titchmarsh.
- Does she like his gate?

212
00:10:52,178 --> 00:10:53,378
Who's Lyn?

213
00:10:56,081 --> 00:10:57,681
This is insane.

214
00:11:04,411 --> 00:11:05,782
The gates are opening.

215
00:11:05,903 --> 00:11:09,001
- Right, well, we definitely have to go then.
- I'd quite like to see him.

216
00:11:09,121 --> 00:11:11,510
Bloody hell, and you have a go at
him for stalking Claire Balding!

217
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:14,618
- Come on, we're here now, we might as well.
- Don't you join in.

218
00:11:14,739 --> 00:11:17,790
Oh, this is horrible. Can we all
not just stare at the gate, please?

219
00:11:19,392 --> 00:11:21,055
Bloody hell, who's this?

220
00:11:24,458 --> 00:11:25,738
Mrs Titchmarsh.

221
00:11:28,292 --> 00:11:29,732
Can I help you?

222
00:11:30,618 --> 00:11:33,232
- We're lost.
- Right, well this is a private road,

223
00:11:33,353 --> 00:11:35,818
so can you please turn round and leave?

224
00:11:35,991 --> 00:11:38,081
We're fed up with all this!

225
00:11:53,674 --> 00:11:56,026
So what are you two do by Christmas than?

226
00:11:56,146 --> 00:11:58,281
I've no idea, it's six months away.

227
00:12:01,401 --> 00:12:03,422
You all right, Ray?
Do you need a lie down?

228
00:12:03,937 --> 00:12:06,387
I should worry about yourself,
you cheeky git.

229
00:12:08,072 --> 00:12:11,392
I tell you what, the Isle of Wight's
a stunning place, isn't it, Donna?

230
00:12:11,512 --> 00:12:13,759
- We wouldn't live anywhere else, would we?
- No.

231
00:12:16,231 --> 00:12:19,423
- Will you be careful with that stick, please?
- Sorry, Dad.

232
00:12:19,544 --> 00:12:23,360
It annoys me, Donna, when people say the
Isle of Wight's got nothing going for it.

233
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,969
Oh, yeah.
Look at the scenery.

234
00:12:26,403 --> 00:12:30,283
Sandy beaches, lovely walks,
beautiful weather.

235
00:12:30,404 --> 00:12:31,851
Come on, love.

236
00:12:31,972 --> 00:12:35,482
We've got a garlic farm,
the world's oldest amusement park,

237
00:12:35,603 --> 00:12:37,773
three maximum-security prisons.

238
00:12:37,894 --> 00:12:40,050
You should work for the tourist board, David.

239
00:12:40,171 --> 00:12:43,861
I see what you're doing, Donna!
Very nice, very nice indeed!

240
00:12:56,073 --> 00:12:59,743
You swing that stick near me again
and I'll ram it up your arse!

241
00:12:59,864 --> 00:13:03,126
Oh, Simon, you won't know this,
but David's joined a dating app.

242
00:13:03,247 --> 00:13:04,430
Have you?

243
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:07,219
You can't imagine your younger
stepbrother as a Casanova, eh?

244
00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:08,722
Well, I might surprise you.

245
00:13:08,843 --> 00:13:11,113
Go on, then, Peter Stringfellow,
how you getting on?

246
00:13:11,464 --> 00:13:16,904
Well, I got a message to say that
a girl had liked my profile picture.

247
00:13:17,025 --> 00:13:20,551
You didn't tell me that!
That's so exciting!

248
00:13:20,672 --> 00:13:23,210
I got in contact with her
and told her all about myself,

249
00:13:23,331 --> 00:13:26,011
then, a couple of days later,
she sent me a message.

250
00:13:26,132 --> 00:13:28,268
Get in there, boy!
What did she say?

251
00:13:28,577 --> 00:13:30,776
Well, she thanked me for my message,

252
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,832
but told me that she'd made a mistake

253
00:13:32,952 --> 00:13:35,219
and accidentally liked the wrong profile.

254
00:13:36,809 --> 00:13:39,520
- Well, it's her loss, son.
- Exactly!

255
00:13:39,641 --> 00:13:41,877
- And it's all good practice!
- Yeah.

256
00:13:43,651 --> 00:13:44,880
They're back, Ray.

257
00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:46,812
- Are they?
- Who's back?

258
00:13:46,933 --> 00:13:50,797
We've got new neighbours.
Young couple with a little boy, Donna.

259
00:13:50,918 --> 00:13:53,808
- We're not seeing eye-to-eye.
- Why not?

260
00:13:54,112 --> 00:13:56,498
- Cos they want to grow their hedge.
- And?

261
00:13:56,619 --> 00:13:58,208
Ray cut it down.

262
00:13:58,329 --> 00:14:00,348
It was spoiling our view of the cows.

263
00:14:00,469 --> 00:14:02,075
You cut their hedge down?

264
00:14:02,196 --> 00:14:04,362
He started complaining
about his lack of privacy

265
00:14:04,483 --> 00:14:06,643
because now we can see into his garden.

266
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,389
So Ray said "We're not looking at
you, we're looking at the cows."

267
00:14:10,510 --> 00:14:12,855
I mean, why would we want to look at them?

268
00:14:13,850 --> 00:14:15,900
So they went on holiday this week.

269
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:17,818
Ray chopped their hedge down again.

270
00:14:17,939 --> 00:14:19,419
Bloody hell!
You can't do that!

271
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:23,802
More and more of them are coming over here
from the mainland and taking over.

272
00:14:23,923 --> 00:14:25,570
But you're basically from up North.

273
00:14:25,691 --> 00:14:28,257
- And he works in Portsmouth.
- So?

274
00:14:28,564 --> 00:14:32,315
Well, when he gets back in the evening
he starts mowing the lawn.

275
00:14:32,792 --> 00:14:34,352
Can I have a lolly, Daddy?

276
00:14:36,555 --> 00:14:38,196
Daddy?
Can I have a lolly Daddy?

277
00:14:38,317 --> 00:14:41,232
Can I have a lolly, Daddy, please?

278
00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:58,690
I can't believe Ray cut down their hedge.

279
00:14:58,959 --> 00:15:00,461
That's genuinely amazing.

280
00:15:00,582 --> 00:15:04,208
They're probably a perfectly reasonable family
who have moved to the island for a quiet life

281
00:15:04,328 --> 00:15:06,621
and now they have to deal with him.

282
00:15:07,108 --> 00:15:08,761
He's got a lot of time on his hands.

283
00:15:08,882 --> 00:15:12,139
Do a word search.
Don't destroy other people's gardens!

284
00:15:23,141 --> 00:15:24,421
Nothing on, as usual.

285
00:15:24,541 --> 00:15:26,701
Apart from what we were watching.

286
00:15:27,164 --> 00:15:29,504
Do you want to watch
an episode of The Chase?

287
00:15:35,053 --> 00:15:37,363
Sue, let me do the tea tonight.

288
00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:39,862
No, no.
I won't have it.

289
00:15:39,983 --> 00:15:42,902
Come on, I've got those nice bits
from the farm shop.

290
00:15:43,098 --> 00:15:45,301
Well, it's very kind of you, Donna, but

291
00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:47,538
Ray likes his tea in a certain way.

292
00:15:48,008 --> 00:15:50,828
Please.
I'd like to, it'll give you break.

293
00:16:07,632 --> 00:16:09,087
Andre's at the window.

294
00:16:13,458 --> 00:16:14,898
When did he get here?

295
00:16:18,658 --> 00:16:22,704
Don't make eye contact,
he'll want to join us for tea.

296
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:43,629
I got Ray an organic sausage roll
from the farm shop,

297
00:16:44,061 --> 00:16:46,418
because I know how much
he loves his sausage rolls.

298
00:16:48,546 --> 00:16:49,858
Well...

299
00:16:49,978 --> 00:16:53,556
The thing is, Donna, Ray's very particular.

300
00:16:53,858 --> 00:16:55,827
He doesn't really like trying new food.

301
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:59,327
Sue, please go and sit down and relax.

302
00:17:03,071 --> 00:17:04,371
Is he still there?

303
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:07,319
Yes.

304
00:17:11,351 --> 00:17:15,458
He's finished filling the watering can,
so now he's literally just staring at us.

305
00:17:31,498 --> 00:17:32,618
He's gone.

306
00:17:32,738 --> 00:17:35,351
Well, that wasn't stressful, was it?
Bloody hell fire.

307
00:17:47,098 --> 00:17:48,713
What are you doing in here?

308
00:17:49,553 --> 00:17:51,456
Donna's making supper.

309
00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:53,618
Why aren't you doing it?

310
00:17:53,738 --> 00:17:55,842
Because she kindly offered.

311
00:17:56,058 --> 00:17:57,358
Right.

312
00:17:57,479 --> 00:17:58,778
What's she making?

313
00:17:58,899 --> 00:18:03,253
She's making some sandwiches with those
little nice bits she got from the farm shop.

314
00:18:03,427 --> 00:18:04,859
What nice bits?

315
00:18:04,980 --> 00:18:06,888
That nice bread and cheese.

316
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,418
I hope she's not using
the Spanish stuff, Sue.

317
00:18:09,538 --> 00:18:11,738
That cheese she gave us,
it ponged the whole house out.

318
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:14,661
Her mum got you that,
it's from the town she grew up in!?

319
00:18:14,782 --> 00:18:18,736
And? I'm from Oldham, but I'm not
forcing you to eat Eccles cakes, am I?

320
00:18:20,566 --> 00:18:21,886
Sue?

321
00:18:22,007 --> 00:18:24,484
- Where do you keep your chopping board?
- Let me get it for you.

322
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:27,259
- No, it's all right, just tell me.
- No, no, I'll get it.

323
00:18:33,182 --> 00:18:34,838
We got this from John Lewis.

324
00:18:34,959 --> 00:18:38,265
When we went to the mainland to buy
Ray's cycling helmet.

325
00:18:43,365 --> 00:18:45,942
Are those olives in that bread, Donna?

326
00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:48,065
Yeah.

327
00:18:48,186 --> 00:18:51,159
Ray won't eat it, then,
he doesn't like olives.

328
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,899
He says they're tasteless.

329
00:18:53,113 --> 00:18:54,313
Okay.

330
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,389
Would you like to use our bread?

331
00:18:56,704 --> 00:18:57,984
If you want.

332
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:09,494
- That's very fancy cheese.
- Yeah. It's delicious.

333
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:12,139
The man in the shop said it's
produced in the New Forest

334
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:14,340
and they only use local free-range cattle.

335
00:19:14,461 --> 00:19:16,239
Oh, well, Ray won't eat that then.

336
00:19:18,091 --> 00:19:19,312
Okay.

337
00:19:24,166 --> 00:19:27,498
And I wouldn't bother putting any
salad in Ray's. He doesn't eat salad.

338
00:19:27,619 --> 00:19:29,591
Or tomatoes.
Or cucumber.

339
00:19:29,872 --> 00:19:31,309
And definitely not cress.

340
00:19:31,430 --> 00:19:33,329
Sue, do you want one of these sandwiches?

341
00:19:33,450 --> 00:19:35,831
Well, do you know, I think I might
have the same as Ray.

342
00:19:35,951 --> 00:19:38,593
Okay, do you want to make your own,
and I'll do ours?

343
00:19:38,714 --> 00:19:42,753
Only if it's easier, Donna.
I don't want to get in your way.

344
00:19:51,869 --> 00:19:54,309
It's been a lovely day, hasn't it, Donna?

345
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,554
A Saturday sarnie sensation!

346
00:20:04,675 --> 00:20:06,418
Stop showing off, David.

347
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,355
Yep, yep, there's a time and place.

348
00:20:10,003 --> 00:20:14,439
- Donna made yours.
- Wunderbar, Frau Cockfield.

349
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,215
Stop trying to sound German, David.

350
00:20:16,336 --> 00:20:18,546
Sorry, everyone, I got carried away.

351
00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:22,855
I made our sandwiches and Donna
bought you this sausage roll

352
00:20:22,976 --> 00:20:25,941
- because she knows you like them.
- Right.

353
00:20:26,062 --> 00:20:28,532
It cost £4.50.

354
00:20:29,208 --> 00:20:30,728
£4.50?

355
00:20:48,179 --> 00:20:49,577
It's not for me.

356
00:20:55,368 --> 00:20:58,032
- You didn't enjoy your sausage roll, then?
- No, thank you.

357
00:20:58,153 --> 00:21:00,008
That's a shame.
I thought you'd enjoy it.

358
00:21:00,129 --> 00:21:01,829
Oh, God, no.

359
00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:04,263
I didn't like the sausage roll, Simon.

360
00:21:04,384 --> 00:21:07,013
I'm sorry about that, but
I'm honest and I speak my mind.

361
00:21:07,242 --> 00:21:09,204
Honestly, they're really nice,
you should try it.

362
00:21:09,324 --> 00:21:13,991
I like those ready-to-eat mini sausage rolls,
I thought Sue would've told you about that.

363
00:21:14,112 --> 00:21:17,621
- But, these don't have processed meat in them.
- I like processed meat!

364
00:21:17,742 --> 00:21:19,257
Just try it for Donna.

365
00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:22,182
I've tried it, Sue, and I do not like it!

366
00:21:32,401 --> 00:21:34,229
Look at Peanuts enjoying it!

367
00:21:51,011 --> 00:21:52,331
Who's that?

368
00:21:59,542 --> 00:22:01,051
It's Ian from next door.

369
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:05,422
What does he want?

370
00:22:05,542 --> 00:22:07,446
It'll be about the hedge.

371
00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:11,770
Can you answer it, I'm watching this?

372
00:22:11,891 --> 00:22:13,472
Don't worry, I'll pause it for you.

373
00:22:14,964 --> 00:22:18,062
Fine, if no-one else can be bothered.

374
00:22:23,513 --> 00:22:24,773
Hello, Ian.

375
00:22:24,894 --> 00:22:28,934
Sorry, I can't open the door,
because Peanuts will get out.

376
00:22:29,055 --> 00:22:33,537
Sorry, we've just got back from our holiday
and my hedge has been cut down again.

377
00:22:33,836 --> 00:22:35,356
Oh, right.

378
00:22:37,801 --> 00:22:39,702
Do you know anything about that?

379
00:22:40,297 --> 00:22:41,497
No.

380
00:22:43,381 --> 00:22:44,832
Are you sure?

381
00:22:45,979 --> 00:22:47,307
Yeah.

382
00:22:47,669 --> 00:22:50,514
Well, you can understand why I might
assume that it would be you?

383
00:22:51,007 --> 00:22:52,784
No, it's not us.

384
00:22:54,009 --> 00:22:55,833
You're lying to me, aren't you?

385
00:22:55,954 --> 00:22:56,939
No.

386
00:22:57,059 --> 00:22:59,136
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.

387
00:22:59,257 --> 00:23:03,297
If this happens again I'm going to
be taking it further, okay?

388
00:23:04,186 --> 00:23:05,388
Okay.

389
00:23:06,403 --> 00:23:09,511
And can you stop correcting my son
over the fence, please.

390
00:23:09,632 --> 00:23:10,891
Okay.

391
00:23:11,381 --> 00:23:12,581
Bye.

392
00:23:27,901 --> 00:23:30,315
Would anybody like a Mini Magnum?

393
00:23:40,738 --> 00:23:43,526
- Thank you love.
- Where's Ray gone?

394
00:23:43,647 --> 00:23:47,209
He's gone off on his electric bike
for a breath of fresh air.

395
00:23:47,330 --> 00:23:48,558
Right.

396
00:23:50,699 --> 00:23:53,819
- Garden looks great, Mum.
- It does now.

397
00:23:53,939 --> 00:23:56,060
It didn't when you used to play
football on it.

398
00:23:56,181 --> 00:23:57,541
It was like a mud patch.

399
00:24:05,808 --> 00:24:08,962
I'm not going to think about it now
but there's so much to do

400
00:24:09,083 --> 00:24:10,525
for tomorrow, your lunch.

401
00:24:10,646 --> 00:24:13,725
Mum, try not to get too stressed,
it's meant to be a fun day.

402
00:24:16,389 --> 00:24:18,797
I can't believe you're going to be 40.

403
00:24:19,566 --> 00:24:21,256
Don't, I know.

404
00:24:25,099 --> 00:24:26,911
We're thinking of moving.

405
00:24:27,619 --> 00:24:28,919
What?

406
00:24:29,492 --> 00:24:32,059
Well, we'll stay on the Island,
obviously, but

407
00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:34,042
probably closer to the town.

408
00:24:34,163 --> 00:24:35,393
Why?

409
00:24:35,556 --> 00:24:38,585
Ray thinks it'd be better
if we were nearer the shops.

410
00:24:38,905 --> 00:24:42,543
What about the garden? All the hard work
you've put into it? You love it here!

411
00:24:42,664 --> 00:24:46,450
I know, but it's such hard work these days,

412
00:24:46,571 --> 00:24:48,171
you know, at our age.
And

413
00:24:48,772 --> 00:24:51,299
Ray doesn't see the sense in us staying.

414
00:24:52,201 --> 00:24:54,046
Right, but what do you think?

415
00:24:56,938 --> 00:24:58,898
I think he's probably right.

416
00:25:03,222 --> 00:25:04,687
You lied to me.

417
00:25:05,339 --> 00:25:06,659
What?

418
00:25:07,230 --> 00:25:08,915
When you were a little boy,

419
00:25:10,250 --> 00:25:13,594
you promised me
you'd stay four years old forever.

420
00:25:14,086 --> 00:25:16,891
I sat you on that kitchen worktop,

421
00:25:17,012 --> 00:25:18,923
and you looked me in the eyes,

422
00:25:19,044 --> 00:25:20,904
and you promised me.

423
00:25:21,025 --> 00:25:22,584
Sorry, Mum.

424
00:25:31,819 --> 00:25:33,675
- All right?
- All right, love?

425
00:25:34,255 --> 00:25:35,492
Yeah, you?

426
00:25:35,613 --> 00:25:38,499
- All right, Simon?
- Yeah, good. How was your cycle ride?

427
00:25:38,619 --> 00:25:42,099
Oh, it was great. I went to Totland
Bay and took some photographs.

428
00:25:43,545 --> 00:25:45,978
Fancy going and watching another
episode of The Chase?

429
00:25:46,099 --> 00:25:49,052
- Yeah, why not?
- Nice helmet.

430
00:25:49,443 --> 00:25:50,854
Shut up.

431
00:26:23,574 --> 00:26:28,174
Sync and corrections: minouhse
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