1
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:47,881
Mr O'Neill?
2
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:55,722
It's coming out, Peggy.
3
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:58,559
Leave it in!
Leave it in!
4
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,449
Look at you!
5
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:19,830
Look at you! You're an angel.
6
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,711
I'm gonna love you so much.
7
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:28,797
And when you grow up...
8
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:33,844
you'll be the greatest woman
this world has ever seen.
9
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:37,806
Just you wait.
10
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,352
And he was right!
11
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,861
Hello, sweetheart.
Here, I've seen your daughter.
12
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,613
She's had the baby, ain't she?
13
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,197
Oh, ain't it lovely?
Yeah, I seen it.
14
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,409
It's a dinky little lot,
innit, darlin'? Ta ta.
15
00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,494
Ugly looking thing.
16
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,081
How's your Margaret?
17
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,958
Tell her I said hello,
sweetheart.
18
00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,543
Big old girl, ain't she, eh?
19
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,087
Yeah, Big Old Margaret.
20
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,840
Look! Look at that!
21
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,675
Oh, you've still got
your little dog.
22
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,052
Oh, innit
a lovely little thing.
23
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,845
Little dog.
24
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,765
Vicious bastard.
25
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,392
-Sorry I'm late, Nan.
-Oh, here he is.
26
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,102
-You come up and see me?
-I've come up to see ya.
27
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,228
You've come up to see me,
ain't ya?
28
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,189
-I have, Nan.
-Oh, you are a good boy.
29
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,273
You're late.
30
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:29,650
I was trying to park, Nan.
31
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:30,942
You ain't got a car.
32
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,694
I've got a minibus,
for my charity.
33
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,030
They give you a minibus
'cause you're gay?
34
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,114
I'm not gay, Nan.
35
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,326
Oh, hello, sweetheart.
Ooh, what you got here?
36
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,869
Tarka dhal and saag aloo.
37
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,329
Tarka dhal and saag...
38
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,538
Well, that looks lovely,
don't it?
39
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,207
Yeah, I'll have
some of that, darlin'.
40
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,250
Erm, could you do me some
without the spinach?
41
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,335
Mm, I can do that.
42
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,837
Yes and I...
I don't want no lentils.
43
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,047
I suppose so.
44
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,840
Yeah, and no coriander.
45
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,759
Oh, that would
just be a potato.
46
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,469
Oh, yes, smashing.
I'll have a potato.
47
00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,471
Thank you, darlin'.
Pay the woman.
48
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,224
Oh, it's a bit plain, innit?
49
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,601
No, Nan, the minibus
is a craft-mobile...
50
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,561
-For gays?
-No, a craft-mobile
51
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,313
for people
with emotional difficulties.
52
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:11,817
"A craft-mobile for people
with emotional difficulties."
53
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,652
What a load of old shit!
54
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,197
Ooh... Ha-ha,
little fat Buddha.
55
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,242
-I'll have that one.
-That one? Are you sure?
56
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,993
Yes. I love him.
57
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:25,497
Wonderful man.
Outstanding in his field.
58
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,998
Natural authority, you see.
59
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:30,043
When he speaks,
you shut up and listen.
60
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,169
It's £50.
61
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,130
I'll give you 10,
I know his worth.
62
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,632
Done! Been having trouble
shifting this one, to be fair.
63
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,259
Oh, you surprise me, love.
64
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,261
Come on, then,
let's take him home.
65
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,762
Nan, why do you want this?
66
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,806
I just love him.
67
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,106
Here, are you still drawing
your cartoons?
68
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,400
-They're animations, Nan.
-Oh, yeah?
69
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,484
I'm still doing them.
70
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,153
-I put them on YouTube.
-Oh.
71
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,863
I've got 30 subscribers now.
72
00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,322
Oh, someone's gone viral.
73
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,532
All right, Joanie love!
74
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,409
Hello, sweetheart!
75
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,493
Bastard.
76
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,287
Mind his head.
77
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,663
Ooh...
78
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,834
-Hello, Mrs Taylor.
-Oh, hello, Carolyn.
79
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,419
Have you met my grandson?
80
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:15,422
This is my grandson, Jamie.
He's come home to see me.
81
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,840
Oh, how lovely.
82
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,175
Well, lovely to meet you.
83
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,760
-It's a real pleasure.
-Nice to meet you.
84
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,762
Can we squeeze in?
85
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,014
No chance, son.
86
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,523
You all right, Colin?
87
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,694
Well, we've just been
to the doctor, actually.
88
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,822
Oh... For your diabetes?
89
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,657
Oh, I don't have diabetes.
90
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,075
Oh... Heart disease.
91
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,410
Er, not heart disease.
92
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,788
Gout?
93
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,456
He has to go
for counselling.
94
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,000
-For your gout?
-Er, no.
95
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,503
Apparently,
I've been eating my feelings.
96
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,714
Have ya, darlin'? Oh...
97
00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:02,219
Still, by the looks of things,
they're delicious.
98
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,558
What are you huff in'
and puffin' for?
99
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,393
Ooh, let me get that.
100
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:13,772
I have to ask,
101
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,566
why are you carrying
that statue of Robert Mugabe?
102
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:18,902
Who is it?
103
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,238
Oh, I thought
it was Trevor McDonald.
104
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,449
Shame. He's me favourite.
105
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,165
Mrs Taylor, we were wondering
106
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:35,043
if you would like
to join us for Sunday lunch.
107
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,921
You can come, too, Jamie,
if you like?
108
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,005
Oh, that sounds
really nice.
109
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,632
Oh, we're very busy.
110
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,925
Oh.
111
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,510
Sorry, our diaries are full.
112
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:46,847
Ta ta.
113
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,723
-Bye.
-Good to meet you.
114
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,560
What are you doing Sunday,
Nan? She seemed nice.
115
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:52,853
Shh.
116
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,355
You know they're deviants.
117
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,898
What do you mean "deviants",
Nan?
118
00:05:56,982 --> 00:06:00,277
Naturists. The pair of them.
119
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,488
They're having naked parties,
if you don't mind.
120
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,866
-Oh, come on...
-You mark my words,
121
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:08,034
I know what
Sunday lunch means.
122
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:11,538
He'll be sat around the table
with his nies hanging out,
123
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:15,375
she'll have her lils dangling
in a gravy boat. No fear!
124
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,836
I can't believe that.
How'd you know that?
125
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,507
They have organic fruit
and veg delivered.
126
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,968
Once a week. In a box.
127
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,762
It don't mean they're walking
around with no clothes on.
128
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,892
Can hear 'em, all day.
Touching things.
129
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,477
With their bare arses!
130
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,902
Make us a cup of tea, son.
131
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,116
Oh, look at that one.
Fancy handwriting.
132
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,077
Oh...
133
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:52,704
Let's have a look.
134
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,836
Junk, junk, bill, bill,
135
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,546
overdue bill.
136
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,548
Oh, me new cinema pass.
Smashin'.
137
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,718
Final demand, junk, junk,
summons.
138
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:09,804
Come on, then...
139
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,316
Dear Joanie.
I bet you didn't expect
140
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,485
to hear from me
after all these years.
141
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,321
I've tried to write
this letter so many times,
142
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:29,240
but time is not a luxury
I have any more.
143
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,743
I'm dying, Joanie.
144
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:38,041
I have one last wish:
that you will come and see me.
145
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:41,336
Even if you won't forgive me,
I just wanna see you.
146
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:44,673
I've missed you terribly.
I am still your sister.
147
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,676
With love, your Nelly.
148
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:48,843
Fuck off!
149
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:53,807
Who was it, Nan?
150
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:57,560
Ah, no one. Just a bill,
you know. Usual old shit.
151
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,604
You don't normally
get handwritten bills.
152
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,690
Don't you dare read that!
153
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,149
-Nan!
-Jamie, I mean it!
154
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,151
You do,
I'll cut you out me will.
155
00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,654
What, and I won't get
the Robert Mugabe statue?
156
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,374
Nan.
157
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,377
-Nan!
-What?
158
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,004
Why do you never talk
about Auntie Nell?
159
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,588
Don't you say her name
in this house!
160
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,883
I could take you, you know?
Got the minibus.
161
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,385
What do I wanna go
and see her for?
162
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,137
Because she's dying, Nan.
163
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,639
Good.
164
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,433
If you don't go,
you'll regret it.
165
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,976
It's not like you've got
anything else to do.
166
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,144
I've got plenty to do,
167
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,353
-thank you very much.
-Like what?
168
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,188
I've gotta watch
me programmes.
169
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:43,982
I've got me sudoku.
170
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:47,027
I've got me Wowchers,
they're gonna expire soon.
171
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,111
You'll regret it.
172
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,488
Oh, will I? Pfff... Watch me.
173
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,700
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm staying put and that's it.
174
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,538
Me again.
175
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,123
Sorry to interrupt.
176
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,250
Er, Colin and I
were just chatting,
177
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,376
-and er...
-Oh...
178
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,045
...seeing as you can't
come over Sunday,
179
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,797
we were wondering if we could
tempt you over another day?
180
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:11,009
Friday or Saturday or whatever
works for you, really.
181
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:14,012
Mm, sorry, love,
I'm completely swamped.
182
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,139
-No, you're not, Nan.
-Yes, I am.
183
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,724
She's not.
She's free tonight, actually.
184
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:19,893
Oh, wonderful!
185
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,187
-Shall we say 8 o'clock, then?
-She'd love that.
186
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,688
-Wouldn't you, Nan?
-Er, Jamie...
187
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,190
Nan was just saying
how much she'd like
188
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,524
to get to know
her neighbours better.
189
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:27,609
Colin will be thrilled!
190
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:29,360
Yes, I bet he will.
191
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:30,612
You'll enjoy that,
won't you, Nan?
192
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:31,821
Er, no, I can't come.
193
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,073
She'll see you later.
194
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,617
Yeah, I can't come
'cause my sister's dying.
195
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,538
Oh, God.
196
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,042
I'm so sorry.
197
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,752
Yeah. Yeah.
198
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,796
Yeah, we were very close.
199
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,799
Got to go
and spend some time with her.
200
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,008
He's taking me to see her.
201
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,885
Yeah, 'course.
202
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,512
Well...
203
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,807
-We'll leave you to it.
-Ah.
204
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,767
Sorry to disturb you.
205
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,019
Good luck with it all.
206
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,105
Mm... Mm.
207
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:10,985
You happy now,
you interfering old Mary Ann?
208
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,322
Go on, then,
go and get your minibus.
209
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,662
Ah!
210
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,215
Look at the state of this!
211
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,384
It's to make it stand out.
212
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,052
I'm hoping the bee
will become iconic.
213
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,096
Iconic like the Fyre Festival.
214
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,807
Oh.
215
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,142
I might change the name.
216
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,477
Yeah, bit of a mouthful.
217
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,871
Right, Nan, if we have
one stop in Birmingham,
218
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:05,373
I reckon we can make the last
ferry in Liverpool and then...
219
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:06,833
What you talking about?
220
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,835
I think we can get
to Nell's by Sunday.
221
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,670
We're not going to Nell's.
222
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:13,506
I've got a two-for-one Wowcher
for a day spa in Coventry.
223
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,091
If we're only going
to a day spa,
224
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,801
why have you brought
so many clothes?
225
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,304
No, darlin',
that's all my snacks.
226
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,014
Coventry's on the way
to Nell's...
227
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,098
Is it?
228
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,059
Here, want a fridge Rustler?
229
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,394
Jesus, Nan.
You can't eat them.
230
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,478
You know what they're made of?
231
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:28,563
Bits of chicken.
232
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,774
Yeah, chickens that have been
bred and kept in micro cages
233
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,861
and then crushed and ground up
and processed. It's appalling.
234
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,946
Mm. Appallingly delicious.
235
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,449
Look at all this toot
you got in here.
236
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,035
Hashtag "road trip".
237
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,536
Hashtag "bants”.
238
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,787
Hashtag "crafts".
239
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,706
What's this, knitting needles?
240
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:47,790
You can't have
knitting needles
241
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:48,875
around negative thinkers,
love.
242
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,585
Well, it depends 'cause
it's a spectrum, isn't it?
243
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:51,669
You can with
some of them, yeah.
244
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,171
Well, they... Not if
they turn on each other, love.
245
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,255
That's all you need.
246
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,965
Here, ya, look, oi.
Here, how many?
247
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,759
-Jame, how many can I do?
-I don't know, Nan.
248
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,761
One... One, two...
249
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:00,970
-Here, Jay.
-What?
250
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,055
-Jay.
-What?
251
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,139
-Jamie!
-What?
252
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,433
I've eaten
a multicoloured tarantula.
253
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:06,517
Eh?
254
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,063
It's in me...
255
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,231
-It's in me mouth.
-I know what you're doing.
256
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:12,649
Multicoloured.
257
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,733
Those are the legs.
258
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:14,817
Yeah, I know they are.
259
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,152
I'm eating the body.
260
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,696
Take a picture.
One, two, three!
261
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,115
I thought I'd left me glasses
at home, but I haven't.
262
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:22,200
Mm.
263
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,285
You should put me
in one of your cartoons.
264
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,247
I look like a fly.
265
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,457
-Who am I, Jame?
-Charles Dickens.
266
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,793
-"It was the best of times..."
-Charles Dickens.
267
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:36,089
"...it was the worst
of times." Charles Dickens.
268
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,548
One, two, three, four, five!
Go on, your go.
269
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,050
-Uh... I'm driving, Nan!
-Oh, sorry.
270
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,059
Nan... Will you ever tell me
271
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,602
what happened
with Auntie Nell?
272
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,062
She's a miserable old whore,
273
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,731
went off to live on an island
off of Ireland, the end.
274
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,650
There you go.
Now you know the whole story.
275
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:56,734
-Nan...
-Now, I don't
276
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,528
-want to talk about it.
-Come on...
277
00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,862
Nah, I gotta take
my angina pill!
278
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,032
Yeah.
279
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:05,618
Delicious.
280
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,246
If you don't tell me
about Auntie Nell,
281
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,581
I'll tell you
all about my charity work.
282
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:13,668
Aah, well, you've backed me
into a corner now, son.
283
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,757
I was a daddy's girl, you see.
284
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,679
I was
a beautiful-looking child.
285
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:28,099
I loved to bounce.
Bounce, bounce, bounce.
286
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,728
There was only one thing
I loved more than bouncing:
287
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,772
that was my father.
I adored him.
288
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:38,026
Best part of my day was
when he came home from work.
289
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:41,529
I was his pride and joy.
Until one day,
290
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,698
he told me
there was another one.
291
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:47,076
He said to me, "This is Nelly.
She's your sister.
292
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,454
"You're gonna look after her
till the day you die."
293
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,914
I wasn't that keen at first.
294
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,001
But it turned out
she liked to bounce an' all.
295
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:59,422
And we became inseparable.
Bounce, bounce, bounce.
296
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:02,050
We bounced our way
all through our childhood.
297
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:06,012
Until the day my mother said
those dreadful words...
298
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,764
Your father died this morning.
299
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,183
Tuberculosis.
300
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,769
There's nothing we can do,
so let that be an end to it.
301
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,188
Now, stop your snivelling
and buck up.
302
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,231
All's fair in love
and war, Joanie.
303
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,318
There weren't
no therapy through crafts
304
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,402
in them days, love.
305
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,738
We had to get straight
on his horse and cart
306
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:24,864
and make a living.
307
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,074
Come on, Nell!
308
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,451
As the years went by,
309
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,578
Nell and I started
building up our business.
310
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,455
Hello, sir. Can I
interest you in a carpet...
311
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,624
Hello, madam. What can I do
for you today, eh?
312
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,709
We were flying high,
me and Nell.
313
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,378
We both had our roles.
314
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:42,423
She made eyes at the fellas,
while I lugged away the gear.
315
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:45,218
'Course, nowadays
you'd call it theft.
316
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,679
Get your gramophone!
Gramophone!
317
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,183
We were a good team,
me and Nell.
318
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:55,895
Should have seen us.
They were the glory days.
319
00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:02,110
But once she got a taste
for it, she didn't wanna stop.
320
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,702
We had a plan
to save up enough money
321
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:15,331
to buy a little cottage
on an island off of Ireland.
322
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,376
That was the dream.
It's where my father was born.
323
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,002
When we were young,
324
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,964
he used to tell us it's where
the leprechauns come from.
325
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,844
'Course, can't say
"leprechauns" no more.
326
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:31,055
Nowadays you just say "Irish".
327
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:33,975
You can imagine
328
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,852
what a bitter blow it is to me
329
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:39,063
that all my long struggle
to win peace has failed.
330
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:42,608
This country
is at war with Germany.
331
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,532
And then
it was the blitz.
332
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,536
And everyone lived
like they always tell you to.
333
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,746
Like every day was our last.
334
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:56,831
Me and Nell got a job
335
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:59,709
down the ammunitions factory,
helping out our boys.
336
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,919
Friday night was dance night.
337
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,546
Oh, we used to love it.
338
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,549
We worked hard all week,
then we let our hair down.
339
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,801
Oh, we had a great time.
340
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:10,928
Mind if I cut in?
341
00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:13,473
'Course she was always
more popular with the fellas.
342
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:16,184
Oh...
Oh, do you mind, Joanie?
343
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,852
No, no, 'course not. Go on.
344
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,063
And I didn't mind.
345
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,400
Not much, anyway.
346
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:30,698
But, as my mother used to say,
"All's fair in love and war."
347
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:37,955
There was
this one fella, though...
348
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,040
...Terry,
349
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,124
always firing after me.
350
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,501
I got this for you.
351
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,419
Oh, leave off, Terry!
352
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,172
Morning, Joanie.
353
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:47,715
Morning, Joanie.
354
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,550
Morning, Joanie.
Nicked this for ya.
355
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,094
Ain't got time
for an horse, Tel.
356
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,806
He'd been there for
as long as I could remember.
357
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:57,767
Poor sod.
358
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,311
What you doing here, Tel?
This is for GI's.
359
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,021
How'd you get in?
360
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,147
Knocked out the doorman.
361
00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,942
-We don't have a doorman.
-Oh.
362
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:07,902
Listen, Joanie,
363
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,404
I went to sign up today,
but they wouldn't let me.
364
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:11,989
Oh, what,
do you fail the IQ test?
365
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,157
No, I passed that.
366
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,575
What was it, then? Your guts?
367
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:15,993
No!
368
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:19,121
Flat feet. Apparently
I'm not fit for duty.
369
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,289
Shame.
370
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,334
So I thought... Well,
I thought maybe it was a sign.
371
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,127
What, that you should get
your feet looked at?
372
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,964
No, that I'm meant to stay
here and look after you.
373
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,343
Joanie, you know
I've always loved you.
374
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,012
We'd be good together,
you and me.
375
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,684
Oh, Tel...
376
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,730
I'm sorry to interrupt.
377
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,275
I know it's rude,
but I can't help myself.
378
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:48,901
Blimey!
379
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:52,989
Ain't you a big black
beautiful sight for sore eyes.
380
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,534
Get off me, Tel.
381
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,038
I was wondering if you'd like
382
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:02,373
to go out with me
Tuesday night?
383
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:03,874
Well, I can't do Tuesday.
How about Monday?
384
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,084
I can't do Monday.
How about Wednesday?
385
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,377
I can't do Wednesday.
How about Friday?
386
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,587
I can't do Friday.
How about Thursday?
387
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:08,879
I can't do Thursday.
How about Saturday?
388
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,965
-I can't do Saturday...
-Oh, jog on, you fat Yank!
389
00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:14,385
Wow.
390
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,512
I'll take that as a no, then?
391
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,098
Oh, you weren't being serious,
were you?
392
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,559
I'm absolutely serious.
I think you're marvellous.
393
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,311
-Do you?
-Yes!
394
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,440
Can I at least
have this dance, then?
395
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:30,276
Well, yes, you may.
396
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,947
Excuse me,
my costermonger friend...
397
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:38,409
We was just talking
about philosophy, etcetera.
398
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,416
I'll be off then, Joanie.
399
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,881
Don't I know you?
400
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:55,384
We must have met before
401
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,054
Don't I know you?
402
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,182
Are you the one
I'm looking for?
403
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:06,437
It's not a mistake
You're here, I'm awake
404
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:10,691
And don't I know you?
405
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:15,988
I feel
I have known you forever
406
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:21,619
Forever before
407
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:26,957
Yes, I have known you
Forever...
408
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:28,626
Who's this
handsome lunk?
409
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,753
Nelly. This is Walter.
410
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,339
He's from America. He's very
tall and he's a Black man.
411
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,925
Yes. All these things
are true. Nice to meet you.
412
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,302
'Ere, have you ever
met Al Jolson?
413
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,096
Whatever's the matter
with you, Nell?
414
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,597
Just because
Walter's a Black man,
415
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,015
it don't mean
he knows Al Jolson.
416
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,350
Al Jolson's not a Black man.
417
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:45,976
-Ain't he?
-No.
418
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,478
He's a white man
who paints his face black.
419
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:49,021
-Does he?
-Yes.
420
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,147
Whatever for?
421
00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:51,691
Well, due to fear
and mistrust,
422
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:53,317
white mainstream audiences
take pleasure
423
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,277
in the use of blackface
as a grotesque infantilisation
424
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,570
of Black people
and Black culture.
425
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,531
Oh... Right.
426
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,157
So you have
or you haven't met him?
427
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:01,575
I have not.
428
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,577
-Shame.
-I've always thought so.
429
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,831
Step away
from those white girls, boy.
430
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:07,915
-Excuse me?
-Do what?
431
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:09,375
He'll step away from no one.
432
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,876
He's got more right
to be here than you have,
433
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,878
-judging by the way you dance.
-Okay, I'll handle it.
434
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,172
No, you stay out of it.
Clear off, you.
435
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,882
Your kind's not welcome
'round here.
436
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,884
I regret ever
dancing with you.
437
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,262
-Tainted.
-Likewise.
438
00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:25,349
Come on, Walter,
let's have a proper dance.
439
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,103
Do you mind?
440
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:32,481
Oh, no, no. Not at all.
Why... Why would I mind?
441
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:35,067
Okay. Well, see you later,
Miss Joan...
442
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,402
Mm.
443
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,279
Come on, then.
444
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:42,533
Mm!
445
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,327
I've seen that look
446
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:48,164
I've read this book
447
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:52,835
Your Greek's not Greek to me
448
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:56,756
Oh, how I know you
449
00:20:56,839 --> 00:21:03,554
You're all I can see
450
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:08,142
Oh, how I know you
451
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:14,190
And know you know me
452
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,570
That was wonderful.
453
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:22,323
Pleasure to meet you. Both.
454
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:23,783
Thank you
for making my evening.
455
00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:25,701
-Oh, thank you.
-Thank you.
456
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,329
And I hope
I get to see you again...
457
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:32,541
on whatever day of the week
is mutually convenient.
458
00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:36,045
Yes.
459
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,129
Yes.
460
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,715
Oh.
461
00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:47,515
Oh, those cheekbones.
462
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,725
Oh, you could
cut yourself on them.
463
00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:56,357
But I couldn't
see him straight away,
464
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,193
because we were stuck down
that shelter for weeks.
465
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:01,862
People copping off
left, right and centre.
466
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:04,240
Not me, though.
467
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,408
I only had eyes for Walter.
468
00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:08,702
All right, Joanie?
469
00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:10,996
Pull over, son.
I'm dying for the lav.
470
00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:13,207
Gotta go now.
471
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:15,376
We're 12 miles
from the services, Nan.
472
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:16,627
Well, I'd step on it
if I were you
473
00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:19,046
before I pee myself
all over your arts and crafts.
474
00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:21,590
I can't, Nan, I'm already
at the speed limit.
475
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:23,259
Mm, suit yourself.
476
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:35,521
Er, here we go.
477
00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:44,280
Nan, you just peed into
a Tupperware box, didn't ya?
478
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:46,240
I did, love. Yep.
479
00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:50,327
Ooh...
480
00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:53,581
-Oh...
481
00:22:53,664 --> 00:22:55,207
I should have put
a lid on that.
482
00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:58,335
Looking forward
to this day spa.
483
00:22:58,419 --> 00:23:00,588
What a thing, eh? Day spa.
484
00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:02,214
What is a Hollywood, Jame?
485
00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:04,800
Got one of them booked.
486
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:07,052
Is it to do with that fella
off the Bake Off?
487
00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:09,346
-Paul Hollywood, innit?
-Yeah.
488
00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:11,974
Maybe I'll meet him.
Don't know.
489
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,143
Love the Bake Off, Jame.
490
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:15,603
-Love it, don't we, eh?
-Yeah.
491
00:23:15,686 --> 00:23:17,313
Sit there and make cupcakes.
492
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:19,440
Ha-ha. It's all changed
though, innit, eh?
493
00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:21,525
-It has.
-A while ago now.
494
00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:23,152
So, Mary Berry not in it.
495
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:26,906
You got Prue Leith,
Noel Edmonds
496
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,616
and that other one
who's left now...
497
00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:30,117
Sandi Tokspiss.
498
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,538
Sandi Fokstig.
Sand... Sandi Snogfig.
499
00:23:35,706 --> 00:23:37,124
Sandi Stokpig.
500
00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:39,752
Standi Tok... Standi Tokpic...
501
00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:44,465
-Sandi To...
-Toksvig.
502
00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:48,177
Toksvig.
503
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,428
Toksvig.
504
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:50,888
Mandy Toksvig.
505
00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:57,561
-My name is Nan
-JAMIE: Yeah
506
00:23:57,645 --> 00:23:59,563
-From London Town
-What?
507
00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:01,565
-You got a problem
-Yeah
508
00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:02,775
I'll take ya down!
509
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:04,068
Roll call!
510
00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:07,988
Shabooya-yah-yah
Shabooya, roll call!
511
00:24:08,072 --> 00:24:11,617
Shabooya-yah-yah
Shabooya, roll call!
512
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:12,993
My name is Jamie...
513
00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:14,078
No.
514
00:24:15,496 --> 00:24:19,041
Ooh, where they gone, then?
I'm dying for a Rustler.
515
00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:22,169
Oh... I can't find them.
516
00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:25,339
Oh... Er...
517
00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:29,760
Oh, here they are! Oh...
Ooh, smell that!
518
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:37,643
Oh, Jamie,
are we in one of your cartoons now?
519
00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:39,770
They're animations, Nan.
520
00:24:39,937 --> 00:24:42,231
Oh! Ain't it marvellous, eh?
521
00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:45,693
Better make a snack stop.
522
00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:48,195
-Ugh...
-Won't be a minute.
523
00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:51,532
Don't like them, don't
like them, like them.
524
00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:53,742
That'll keep me going.
525
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:54,827
Mm-hmm.
526
00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:56,120
Mm. Delicious.
527
00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:57,913
Hello.
528
00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,499
Get a job!
529
00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:01,959
What did you do that for?
530
00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:04,044
Breaks up the, mm,
journey, don't it?
531
00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:06,088
Come on then, Nan,
tell me more.
532
00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:09,174
If you must know,
me and Walter finally
533
00:25:09,258 --> 00:25:10,801
found a night to meet.
534
00:25:10,884 --> 00:25:14,304
Tuesday. Nelly tagged along.
535
00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:17,850
Me and Walter got on
like eyes are winking.
536
00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:19,393
He saw me
for who I really was.
537
00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:23,897
Don't tell me you did
your boiled egg routine?
538
00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:26,358
What, me eggy eyed-
lizard tongue combo?
539
00:25:26,442 --> 00:25:27,985
'Course I did, son!
540
00:25:28,068 --> 00:25:29,737
I was trying to impress him.
541
00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,280
And it worked.
542
00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:34,408
'Course Nelly got
the right needle.
543
00:25:34,908 --> 00:25:37,244
She couldn't bear
me getting the attention.
544
00:25:37,786 --> 00:25:40,414
So she found her own way
to get noticed.
545
00:25:42,124 --> 00:25:43,208
Oh...
546
00:25:43,292 --> 00:25:45,085
But I made
him laugh, see?
547
00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:54,428
What you two lunatics
laughing about now?
548
00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:56,138
Joanie was doing an impression
549
00:25:56,221 --> 00:25:58,140
of Mrs McDonald
down at the market.
550
00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,059
You do that
again and I'll skin ya,
551
00:26:00,142 --> 00:26:02,186
ya wee bastard!
552
00:26:04,354 --> 00:26:06,482
Ock aye the noo!
553
00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:07,566
Mm.
554
00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:09,068
She was shocking
at impressions.
555
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:10,569
-Mm.
-Embarrassing.
556
00:26:10,652 --> 00:26:11,737
Eh...
557
00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:13,072
I dunno what you two
are talking about
558
00:26:13,155 --> 00:26:14,156
half the time, anyway.
559
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:25,501
But she did have
a tidy pair of knockers,
560
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,211
which, at the end of the day,
561
00:26:27,294 --> 00:26:30,339
he valued more highly
than regional accents.
562
00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:32,508
-Mm.
-Shame.
563
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,350
But as the weeks went by...
564
00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:44,228
...Nelly got between us.
Literally.
565
00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:46,939
She bided her time
and sealed the deal.
566
00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:58,283
Don't go. What would
we do without you?
567
00:26:58,367 --> 00:27:00,494
Oh, yeah.
Don't be silly, stay.
568
00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:02,037
You won't know
what happens at the end.
569
00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:05,207
Oh, I... I don't think
anything important.
570
00:27:08,502 --> 00:27:12,422
Still,
all's fair in love and war.
571
00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:24,685
What you thinking about, Nan?
572
00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:28,981
I was thinking...
573
00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:33,569
It never fails to amaze me
when I see a fat girl married.
574
00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:35,821
Nan, what is wrong with you?
575
00:27:35,904 --> 00:27:38,031
Curvy Brides' Boutique.
576
00:27:38,574 --> 00:27:41,118
Seen that?
Oh, that's me programme.
577
00:27:41,743 --> 00:27:44,288
Fat girls getting married.
Amazing, innit?
578
00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:47,416
Enough of 'em
for three series.
579
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:49,543
Most of 'em to skinny blokes.
580
00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:51,587
Boggles your mind.
581
00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:53,005
You wanna get us
a drink, you two?
582
00:27:53,088 --> 00:27:54,631
Come on, Nan,
let's get some sleep.
583
00:27:56,967 --> 00:27:58,218
Hold on...
584
00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:00,804
This don't look like Coventry.
585
00:28:02,306 --> 00:28:03,807
Everyone's orange.
586
00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:11,440
It's Liverpool, Nan.
587
00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:13,692
I think I missed the turning.
588
00:28:13,775 --> 00:28:15,068
I know what
you're trying to do, love.
589
00:28:15,736 --> 00:28:17,696
You're trying to trick me
into going to see Nell
590
00:28:17,779 --> 00:28:18,947
and I'm not gonna
stand for it.
591
00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:21,825
But seeing as it's late
592
00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:24,203
and they've got two-for-ones
on Jager bombs,
593
00:28:24,286 --> 00:28:27,039
we'll stay here tonight.
But, you mark my words,
594
00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:30,042
6 o'clock tomorrow morning,
we are out of here.
595
00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:33,587
You are taking me
to a day spa in Coventry,
596
00:28:33,670 --> 00:28:36,840
where I'm getting a manicure,
my eyebrows threaded
597
00:28:36,924 --> 00:28:40,093
and a Hollywood.
Whatever that is.
598
00:28:42,763 --> 00:28:44,973
You can't park there!
599
00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:46,308
What's that?
600
00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:49,102
I said, you can't park there!
601
00:28:54,107 --> 00:28:56,652
Oh, have a look!
602
00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,362
Hello, sweetheart!
603
00:28:58,445 --> 00:28:59,821
You...
604
00:28:59,905 --> 00:29:01,698
Not seen you in ages!
605
00:29:01,782 --> 00:29:02,908
Who is it, Nan?
606
00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:04,368
Here, Jame, do you remember?
607
00:29:04,451 --> 00:29:08,872
It's that bastard woman
from up the council!
608
00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:10,791
You used to work
up the council, didn't ya?
609
00:29:10,874 --> 00:29:12,751
I did.
Until you got me sacked.
610
00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:14,169
Because you were a bastard.
611
00:29:14,253 --> 00:29:15,379
What you doing now, love?
612
00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:16,922
Come back to Liverpool.
613
00:29:17,005 --> 00:29:18,924
I had to.
'Cause you got me fired
614
00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:21,802
for being insensitive
to the needs of the elderly.
615
00:29:21,885 --> 00:29:23,512
Well, you were
very insensitive.
616
00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:25,514
You stopped me
using a communal Sky dish.
617
00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:28,767
It wasn't communal! You were
stealing from your neighbour.
618
00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:30,727
You said I traumatised ya.
619
00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:32,854
I was very traumatised!
620
00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:34,690
I missed the finale
of Ex on the Beach!
621
00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:36,650
I have dreamt
about seeing you again.
622
00:29:36,733 --> 00:29:38,735
Well, whatever floats
your boat, love.
623
00:29:38,819 --> 00:29:39,903
And now here you are.
624
00:29:39,987 --> 00:29:43,073
Illegally parked
across three disabled bays.
625
00:29:43,156 --> 00:29:45,993
Well, here's lucky...
626
00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:48,662
I've got
three disabled badges!
627
00:29:48,745 --> 00:29:51,415
-Where'd you get them?
-From up the council!
628
00:29:51,498 --> 00:29:53,667
They've been ever so nice
to me since you left.
629
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:55,085
You shouldn't have three.
630
00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:58,880
And yet I do. Riddle me that.
631
00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:01,758
Oh, yeah, I do remember.
It's Ms Mahler, isn't it?
632
00:30:01,842 --> 00:30:03,760
It's Officer Mahler now.
633
00:30:05,762 --> 00:30:08,432
There is a distinct smell
of urine in this minibus.
634
00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:09,558
Mm, that was him.
635
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,726
Let's go, Nan.
636
00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:12,019
Careful, you.
637
00:30:12,102 --> 00:30:14,604
If you put a foot wrong
while you're in my city,
638
00:30:14,688 --> 00:30:16,231
I'll be onto you.
639
00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:18,942
I am a member
of the road policing unit.
640
00:30:19,568 --> 00:30:21,445
-Traffic warden.
-Traffic police.
641
00:30:21,528 --> 00:30:23,405
-Traffic warden.
-They are vastly different.
642
00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:24,614
Do you give out tickets?
643
00:30:24,698 --> 00:30:25,866
Yes, I do.
644
00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:27,367
Then you're a traffic warden.
645
00:30:28,410 --> 00:30:31,038
Anyway,
lovely to see you again.
646
00:30:31,121 --> 00:30:34,624
I'm glad you've maintained
that snap-on hairdo.
647
00:30:34,708 --> 00:30:36,376
It's like a LEGO hat, innit?
648
00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:37,919
Come on, Nan, let's go.
649
00:30:38,879 --> 00:30:42,132
Oh, looks like
this was named after you.
650
00:30:42,883 --> 00:30:46,053
That is grossly offensive
to an officer of the law.
651
00:30:46,136 --> 00:30:49,264
Well, it's what most people
call traffic wardens, anyway.
652
00:30:49,348 --> 00:30:50,891
Ta ta, square head!
653
00:31:10,410 --> 00:31:11,828
I'll go
and have a word with them.
654
00:31:11,912 --> 00:31:13,747
No, leave off.
655
00:31:13,830 --> 00:31:15,415
What you gonna do, invite them
656
00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:18,043
to a "Find The Goddess Within"
workshop?
657
00:31:18,126 --> 00:31:20,003
No, I'll just
ask them politely.
658
00:31:20,087 --> 00:31:21,338
Like a chicken shit?
659
00:31:21,421 --> 00:31:22,464
What do you call me?
660
00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:24,132
Chicken... shit.
661
00:31:24,216 --> 00:31:26,051
Nobody calls me chicken shit!
662
00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:27,636
Well, I do all the time.
663
00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:29,554
I'll sort it.
664
00:31:29,638 --> 00:31:33,642
No, leave off, Marty McFly,
I'll deal with this.
665
00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:37,187
Nan, don't.
They sound really drunk.
666
00:31:37,270 --> 00:31:38,897
Nah, it's all right, son,
667
00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,816
I once knocked out
a skinhead in Magaluf.
668
00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:43,860
I think I can handle a couple
of pissed-up rugby lads.
669
00:32:04,965 --> 00:32:08,510
Now, listen up! Millennials!
670
00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:19,229
I said,
"Shove it up your arse,
671
00:32:19,312 --> 00:32:20,522
"it's only Tuesday."
672
00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:31,199
Oh! Give us
another bit of lemon,
673
00:32:31,283 --> 00:32:32,534
that's repeating on me!
674
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:34,494
-Get her one, come on!
-Come on, let's go again!
675
00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:36,163
Down again!
676
00:32:37,164 --> 00:32:38,206
Hello.
677
00:32:38,290 --> 00:32:39,541
Hello, darlin'!
678
00:32:41,251 --> 00:32:44,254
Hello, Jame. It's my grandson.
679
00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:48,091
Come down and see me.
Come down and see me!
680
00:32:48,175 --> 00:32:50,051
Nan, don't you think we should
be getting some rest?
681
00:32:50,135 --> 00:32:52,471
No! I'm hanging with me squad!
682
00:32:52,554 --> 00:32:54,389
Meet me pals. This is Froggo,
683
00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:56,183
this is Mabbo,
this is Nutsack,
684
00:32:56,266 --> 00:32:58,310
this is Piss Up,
this is Crystal Meth Cathy,
685
00:32:58,393 --> 00:32:59,561
-this is Arsemunch...
-Arsemunch.
686
00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:01,813
...and this one here
on the end, this is Dan.
687
00:33:01,897 --> 00:33:03,398
-He's gonna Kill us all.
-Yep.
688
00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:05,734
Come on! Do a shot!
689
00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:08,361
Do a shot! Do a shot!
690
00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:10,906
No, I don't want to, Nan.
I've gotta be up early.
691
00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:13,366
Drink, drink, drink,
drink, drink, drink, drink!
692
00:33:13,450 --> 00:33:15,285
And I've gotta drive
in the morning!
693
00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:18,580
Shame! Boo!
Come on then, Nutsack.
694
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:20,665
Load me up again!
695
00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:40,810
Oh! Look out, here she is...
696
00:33:40,894 --> 00:33:42,604
Sir Ken Dodd.
697
00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:44,940
Are you aware that you're
being drunk and disorderly?
698
00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:48,944
Are you aware how much
like k.d. lang you look?
699
00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:50,695
Keep your voice down,
people are trying to sleep.
700
00:33:50,779 --> 00:33:51,863
Their loss.
701
00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:54,658
They won't get
another chance to catch
702
00:33:54,741 --> 00:33:58,119
Crystal Meth Cathy
burp the alphabet!
703
00:33:58,203 --> 00:33:59,287
Go on, love.
704
00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:02,874
Now listen,
705
00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:05,877
it's all just a laugh
with people like you.
706
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:09,297
Coming in, taking advantage
of the system
707
00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:11,758
and good
hard-working people like me.
708
00:34:12,509 --> 00:34:14,844
I had to rebuild my life
'cause of you.
709
00:34:14,928 --> 00:34:16,680
While you remain oblivious
710
00:34:16,763 --> 00:34:19,015
to the damage you cause
all around ya.
711
00:34:19,891 --> 00:34:23,687
Well, now that I've got you
in my sights again,
712
00:34:23,770 --> 00:34:25,897
I won't let you out of it.
713
00:34:25,981 --> 00:34:28,316
And I will have my revenge...
714
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,820
in this world or the next.
715
00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:34,197
Right, yep,
sounds like a plan.
716
00:34:34,281 --> 00:34:35,991
Yep, see ya!
717
00:34:41,705 --> 00:34:42,956
Is that from Gladiator?
718
00:34:44,958 --> 00:34:48,295
Nan! Nan! Nan! Nan!
Nan! Nan! Nan! Nan!
719
00:34:48,378 --> 00:34:50,547
Can't hear ya!
720
00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:53,592
What's my name?
721
00:34:53,675 --> 00:34:56,428
-Come on, then!
-Yeah!
722
00:35:20,744 --> 00:35:22,078
Whoo!
723
00:35:22,162 --> 00:35:24,247
Better take me angina pill.
724
00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:28,835
Here we go!
725
00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:32,422
Oh...
726
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:35,091
Oh.
727
00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:36,384
What's up, Nan?
728
00:35:36,468 --> 00:35:37,927
I dropped me pill!
729
00:35:38,928 --> 00:35:40,847
You wanna drop a pill?
730
00:35:40,930 --> 00:35:43,099
Yeah, dropped me pill.
731
00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:44,934
Are you sure?
732
00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:47,228
Well, 'course I'm sure!
733
00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:49,648
Legend!
734
00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:02,744
Oh, that's it! You found it!
735
00:36:03,828 --> 00:36:06,331
Thank you, Arsemunch.
736
00:36:11,753 --> 00:36:13,797
Delicious.
737
00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:16,591
Mm? Mm?
738
00:36:23,598 --> 00:36:28,103
Oh... Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Here we go!
739
00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:30,313
I need... I need to come in.
740
00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:31,398
In you go.
741
00:36:31,481 --> 00:36:32,982
Excuse me! Excuse me!
742
00:36:33,942 --> 00:36:34,943
Nan!
743
00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:38,488
Nan? Nan?
744
00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:41,408
Oi! Oi!
745
00:36:41,491 --> 00:36:43,535
-Jamie! What's up?
-Where's my Nan?
746
00:36:48,623 --> 00:36:52,460
Fuckin' have it!
747
00:37:22,949 --> 00:37:24,159
Excuse me!
748
00:37:26,828 --> 00:37:28,830
Ooh! Mind me canary!
749
00:37:28,913 --> 00:37:30,331
Nan! Nan!
750
00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:38,882
Hello there, sweetheart!
751
00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:44,512
It's like...
752
00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:47,807
It's like being on the moon,
innit, eh?
753
00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:49,601
Are we on the moon?
754
00:37:49,684 --> 00:37:51,102
We're in Liverpool, Nan.
755
00:37:51,186 --> 00:37:52,854
No!
756
00:37:52,937 --> 00:37:56,483
Ain't it amazing how the feet
get on the floor,
757
00:37:56,566 --> 00:37:58,109
and they ju...
758
00:37:58,193 --> 00:37:59,569
Oh...
759
00:38:00,904 --> 00:38:03,865
Oh, Officer Mahler!
760
00:38:03,948 --> 00:38:05,366
-Get off!
-Bring it in...
761
00:38:05,450 --> 00:38:07,535
Oh...
762
00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:11,039
Here... Oh, it's a nice
bit of kit, love.
763
00:38:11,164 --> 00:38:12,290
That is police property!
764
00:38:12,373 --> 00:38:14,292
-Nan...
-Jame, put the hat on me.
765
00:38:14,375 --> 00:38:16,503
Have a go with the hat. Ha-ha.
766
00:38:20,673 --> 00:38:21,674
All units.
767
00:38:21,758 --> 00:38:23,259
...location,
please, Officer Mahler.
768
00:38:23,343 --> 00:38:24,344
Roger that.
769
00:38:27,847 --> 00:38:29,933
-Can you hear that as well?
-Yeah.
770
00:38:30,016 --> 00:38:31,142
Oh, look...
Ooh, how's that happened?
771
00:38:31,226 --> 00:38:32,227
All right.
772
00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,729
Oh... You can
leave me here, Jame.
773
00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:36,898
-Oh, no.
-I like it here!
774
00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:38,858
Oh, it's nice.
Look at the sky.
775
00:38:39,776 --> 00:38:41,152
-No, Nan.
776
00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:42,695
Put that hat on.
777
00:38:43,321 --> 00:38:46,574
Put that on your head, love.
Put that on.
778
00:38:47,575 --> 00:38:49,077
Cover that up.
779
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,329
I love the Scouse.
780
00:38:51,412 --> 00:38:54,165
I love the Scouse.
I do, darlin'.
781
00:38:54,249 --> 00:38:56,876
Why do I love the Scouse
so much, Jame?
782
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,086
Mind you, I don't know how
783
00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:01,047
anyone understands what
they're saying. Hollyoaks.
784
00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:03,883
It's all...
Innit, eh?
785
00:39:03,967 --> 00:39:06,344
...and a....
786
00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:08,680
Where is she? Mwah...
787
00:39:08,763 --> 00:39:11,391
I love that one!
Mwah, mwah, mwah...
788
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:13,810
-Come on, Nan.
-Mwah, mwah...
789
00:39:13,893 --> 00:39:14,894
Come on.
790
00:39:14,978 --> 00:39:18,064
Oh, she's
my favourite Scouser!
791
00:39:18,147 --> 00:39:19,691
Ooh, look how many stairs.
792
00:39:20,859 --> 00:39:24,904
I will get you, old woman.
I will get you.
793
00:39:25,905 --> 00:39:27,824
Careful... Shit.
794
00:39:28,992 --> 00:39:31,911
I love you, Jame...
Oh, ain't that soft, eh?
795
00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:34,122
Ah... You know...
796
00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:36,165
You know that though,
don't you? You know that.
797
00:39:36,249 --> 00:39:37,250
I do, Nan.
798
00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:40,253
Yes, you know
'cause you are a good boy.
799
00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:41,421
I know, Nan.
800
00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:42,922
-No, down here, Nan.
-You are a good boy.
801
00:39:43,006 --> 00:39:45,341
Ah, yeah... Do you know that?
802
00:39:46,050 --> 00:39:47,218
You know it, don't you?
803
00:39:50,597 --> 00:39:51,764
Er, listen...
804
00:39:55,059 --> 00:39:56,352
-What?
-I didn't say anything.
805
00:39:56,436 --> 00:39:57,645
Shh!
806
00:39:59,981 --> 00:40:05,278
I can be an absolute mare
to you, I know.
807
00:40:05,361 --> 00:40:06,613
I know.
808
00:40:08,531 --> 00:40:10,366
And I don't... I don't...
809
00:40:10,992 --> 00:40:14,913
So fuckin' soft, this is...
810
00:40:16,205 --> 00:40:19,667
I don't... I don't always
tell you how I feel.
811
00:40:19,751 --> 00:40:20,919
Mm.
812
00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:25,715
But I am telling you now,
right now...
813
00:40:27,592 --> 00:40:30,553
What's under there?
Look at this!
814
00:40:30,637 --> 00:40:33,348
Look at the little hands.
815
00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:37,560
Yeah, I am telling you, son...
816
00:40:41,314 --> 00:40:43,358
You make me so proud.
817
00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:47,445
I love you, darlin'.
818
00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:50,949
Thanks, Nan, I love you too.
819
00:40:54,661 --> 00:40:56,454
And I do miss my Nell.
820
00:40:58,164 --> 00:41:00,792
Oh... I miss her.
821
00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:07,173
Nan!
822
00:41:07,256 --> 00:41:09,467
Oh, get up,
you lazy bastard!
823
00:41:09,550 --> 00:41:12,261
Come on, we've got
a spa to get to!
824
00:41:12,345 --> 00:41:14,055
Well, that was nice
while it lasted.
825
00:41:14,138 --> 00:41:16,683
Ooh, useless. No stamina.
826
00:41:16,766 --> 00:41:19,060
Ooh.
That was one I didn't want.
827
00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:23,272
Right,
let's go to Nell's.
828
00:41:23,356 --> 00:41:27,110
-We're going to Coventry!
-Ooh... manners.
829
00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:33,866
Oh, hello.
830
00:41:33,950 --> 00:41:36,202
Our favourite
traffic warden's up early.
831
00:41:36,285 --> 00:41:38,621
What an absolute fruitcake.
832
00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:40,498
Oh.
833
00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:43,084
Nan, who keeps texting ya?
834
00:41:43,167 --> 00:41:45,586
Oh, we've got a group chat,
me and the lads.
835
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:49,090
Froggo's just sent me a photo
of him spewing on a cat.
836
00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:52,343
That's just...
classic Froggo, that is.
837
00:41:52,427 --> 00:41:53,845
Did you ever get together
with Walter?
838
00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:56,347
Chicken bites,
chicken skewers,
839
00:41:56,431 --> 00:41:59,892
pork shots. High in protein,
big on flavour.
840
00:41:59,976 --> 00:42:02,478
I mean, absolutely delicious.
841
00:42:02,562 --> 00:42:03,646
Look at that!
842
00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:07,817
They've squashed all that meat
into one tasty mouthful.
843
00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:10,028
-Smashing.
-Nan!
844
00:42:17,952 --> 00:42:19,579
Go on, Jame, your turn.
845
00:42:19,662 --> 00:42:21,372
-My name is Jamie
-Yeah!
846
00:42:21,456 --> 00:42:23,416
-Hip hip hooray!
-Yep!
847
00:42:23,499 --> 00:42:25,334
-I drive a minibus
-Yep!
848
00:42:25,418 --> 00:42:26,711
-Because...
-Because I'm gay
849
00:42:26,794 --> 00:42:27,795
Roll call!
850
00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:29,005
That's it. Yeah!
851
00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:31,758
That's it,
that's the way it goes. Yeah.
852
00:42:31,841 --> 00:42:35,011
I mean,
"hip hip hooray" bit was pony.
853
00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:38,097
But you're only starting out,
it's all right.
854
00:42:51,652 --> 00:42:54,405
Gotta say, Nan, I'm really
impressed with your stamina.
855
00:42:54,489 --> 00:42:55,490
It's amazing how you...
856
00:43:01,913 --> 00:43:03,956
Sorry, Nan,
but we've come too far.
857
00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:13,257
Oh... Oh...
858
00:43:19,847 --> 00:43:21,516
Don't wake up. Please don't wake up!
859
00:43:43,371 --> 00:43:46,666
Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé!
860
00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:48,668
Oh...
861
00:43:48,751 --> 00:43:50,628
Oosh! What's that?
862
00:43:51,587 --> 00:43:52,630
Where am I?
863
00:43:53,923 --> 00:43:56,259
I'm not in Ireland, am I?
864
00:43:57,718 --> 00:43:58,970
Am I in Ireland?
865
00:43:59,053 --> 00:44:01,389
I'm in fucking Ireland?
866
00:44:02,181 --> 00:44:03,432
What have you done?
867
00:44:03,516 --> 00:44:04,892
Sorry, Nan. I just thought
868
00:44:04,976 --> 00:44:07,395
we can't go back,
so we may as well go forward.
869
00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:09,105
If you don't wanna see Nell,
that's fine,
870
00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:12,191
but I'd like to meet her.
You can just wait in the bus.
871
00:44:12,275 --> 00:44:15,069
Oh, all right. Come on, then.
872
00:44:15,153 --> 00:44:18,072
But after we've had
a quick drink, eh?
873
00:44:18,156 --> 00:44:20,992
Proper Guinness, quench
me thirst, then we'll be off.
874
00:44:21,075 --> 00:44:22,660
Guinness? It's 9:00am.
875
00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:24,287
When in Rome.
876
00:44:24,370 --> 00:44:27,832
And it's no, nay, never
877
00:44:27,915 --> 00:44:29,041
Go on, my son!
878
00:44:29,125 --> 00:44:32,003
No, nay, never, no more
879
00:44:32,086 --> 00:44:36,674
Will I play the wild rover
880
00:44:36,757 --> 00:44:39,677
No, never, no more!
881
00:44:40,887 --> 00:44:42,054
Come on, Nan,
we should get going.
882
00:44:42,138 --> 00:44:44,557
Oh, my grandson Jamie.
883
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:47,018
Here, come and meet
my new best friend, Mick.
884
00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:49,937
I love your Nan!
What a treat, you lucky fella.
885
00:44:50,021 --> 00:44:51,647
Yeah. She's a real prize.
886
00:44:51,731 --> 00:44:54,692
Ooh, look, what you got there?
887
00:44:54,775 --> 00:44:57,820
M-M-M. What's that stand for?
Mick Mick Mick?
888
00:44:57,904 --> 00:45:00,031
You got a stutter?
889
00:45:00,114 --> 00:45:01,532
She's the best!
890
00:45:01,616 --> 00:45:03,492
Listen to that accent,
Jame.
891
00:45:03,576 --> 00:45:07,288
Everything he says sounds like
good news on a sunny morning.
892
00:45:07,371 --> 00:45:09,916
Well, you say that,
but I have my dark days.
893
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:11,792
Lilting melody.
894
00:45:11,876 --> 00:45:13,920
Sometimes I struggle
to get up in the morning...
895
00:45:14,003 --> 00:45:16,005
I've never been
properly diagnosed,
896
00:45:16,088 --> 00:45:18,132
but I'm pretty sure
I have clinical depression.
897
00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:21,761
A real tonic you are, son!
I could listen to him all day.
898
00:45:21,844 --> 00:45:23,262
You have, Nan.
899
00:45:23,346 --> 00:45:24,722
Come on, we've gotta go.
900
00:45:24,805 --> 00:45:26,140
Mick needs a lift.
901
00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:27,642
One for the road, son'?
902
00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:29,393
Yeah, let's. Why not drown
me sorrows, huh?
903
00:45:29,477 --> 00:45:31,437
See what I mean.
904
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:34,398
Shabooya, roll call!
905
00:45:34,482 --> 00:45:38,110
Shabooya-yah-yah
Shabooya, roll call!
906
00:45:38,194 --> 00:45:39,362
My name is Mick
907
00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:41,530
-Yeah!
-I've drank a lot
908
00:45:41,614 --> 00:45:43,282
-What?
-I'm feeling sick now
909
00:45:43,366 --> 00:45:44,784
-Yes!
-That's all I've got
910
00:45:44,867 --> 00:45:45,868
Roll call!
911
00:45:45,952 --> 00:45:46,953
That is how you do it!
912
00:45:47,036 --> 00:45:49,163
Shabooya-yah-yah
Shabooya, roll call!
913
00:45:49,247 --> 00:45:50,873
See? Excellent work!
914
00:45:50,957 --> 00:45:52,083
Shabooya-yah-yah
915
00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:53,876
Shabooya, roll call!
916
00:45:56,587 --> 00:45:57,713
What's all this back here?
917
00:45:57,922 --> 00:45:58,923
It's craft therapy.
918
00:45:59,006 --> 00:46:00,508
Here, Mick, Mick, Mick,
919
00:46:00,591 --> 00:46:03,719
make yourself a mood cube.
You'll enjoy that!
920
00:46:03,803 --> 00:46:06,097
Yeah, I'll give it a go.
921
00:46:06,180 --> 00:46:07,223
Pork shots?
922
00:46:12,436 --> 00:46:13,437
Whoops!
923
00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:15,439
Butter fingers!
924
00:46:15,523 --> 00:46:17,525
Don't worry, love,
there's plenty more
925
00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:19,527
where they came from.
926
00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:20,778
Wait, what time is it?
927
00:46:20,903 --> 00:46:21,904
It's 2.30.
928
00:46:21,988 --> 00:46:22,989
Oh, we're early.
929
00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:24,115
Early for what?
930
00:46:24,198 --> 00:46:25,783
Turn right up ahead
and then the next left.
931
00:46:25,908 --> 00:46:26,909
Why?
932
00:46:27,243 --> 00:46:29,495
My God! No offence,
933
00:46:29,578 --> 00:46:31,789
but there's a distinct smell
of urine in here.
934
00:46:31,998 --> 00:46:36,085
No offence taken, darling,
not with that voice.
935
00:46:37,295 --> 00:46:39,213
Here, I've gotta say, son,
936
00:46:39,297 --> 00:46:41,924
you were right.
It's magical up here.
937
00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:43,592
Look at this!
938
00:46:43,926 --> 00:46:44,927
So?
939
00:46:45,011 --> 00:46:47,054
Oh, leave off
with the reminiscing.
940
00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:48,139
I'm enjoying the view.
941
00:46:48,222 --> 00:46:49,557
Why don't you go
and help Mick,
942
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:50,975
Mick, Mick
with his mood cube?
943
00:46:51,058 --> 00:46:52,226
Oh, come on,
Nan, tell me.
944
00:46:52,351 --> 00:46:54,520
You must have been upset
about Nell and Walter.
945
00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:57,606
Well, course I was.
946
00:46:57,690 --> 00:47:01,902
But I had no choice, did I?
I had to get on with me life
947
00:47:01,986 --> 00:47:03,321
and forget all about him.
948
00:47:06,949 --> 00:47:09,410
Problem was
I'd see him everywhere.
949
00:47:09,493 --> 00:47:12,163
And my heart
would skip a beat.
950
00:47:14,290 --> 00:47:17,460
And, I swear,
the way he'd look at me.
951
00:47:20,755 --> 00:47:21,756
Come on.
952
00:47:24,592 --> 00:47:25,885
And then, one day...
953
00:47:28,971 --> 00:47:30,306
Not now, Terry,
I'm not in the mood.
954
00:47:30,389 --> 00:47:32,183
Your fella told me
to give you this.
955
00:47:32,266 --> 00:47:34,310
I thought you'd be sad
if you didn't get it.
956
00:47:35,144 --> 00:47:36,145
Thanks.
957
00:47:37,313 --> 00:47:39,565
I hope you get what makes
you happy, Joanie.
958
00:47:45,821 --> 00:47:46,906
Dearest Joanie,
959
00:47:46,989 --> 00:47:49,408
I've been deployed
and leave for France tonight.
960
00:47:49,492 --> 00:47:51,243
I need to see you before I go.
961
00:47:51,327 --> 00:47:52,787
Please come and meet me
at the station.
962
00:47:52,870 --> 00:47:55,790
I beg you.
Don't tell Nell. Walter.
963
00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:59,085
Here, what you got there?
964
00:47:59,251 --> 00:48:01,212
Just another bleedin'
love letter from Tel.
965
00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:05,216
Oh. Poor fella.
He doesn't give up, does he?
966
00:48:10,096 --> 00:48:12,807
At work, I could barely
contain me excitement.
967
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,143
Ooh, is that a new hat, Fee?
968
00:48:16,227 --> 00:48:17,728
Here, Lil, ain't it
your birthday today?
969
00:48:17,812 --> 00:48:19,271
-Yeah.
-Good luck to ya.
970
00:48:30,866 --> 00:48:33,661
Ooh, look at you!
All dolled up.
971
00:48:35,079 --> 00:48:37,498
You've been grinning
like a loon all day.
972
00:48:37,581 --> 00:48:39,291
What's the matter with you?
973
00:48:39,458 --> 00:48:45,172
Nothing. I'm just feeling...
I don't know, hopeful.
974
00:48:45,256 --> 00:48:47,550
Oh, here,
have you got a minute?
975
00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:52,346
I've got some wonderful news.
Been waiting to tell ya.
976
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:55,808
What is it?
977
00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:57,184
You'll never believe it.
978
00:48:58,185 --> 00:48:59,937
I'm expecting.
979
00:49:01,397 --> 00:49:03,149
You what?
980
00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:06,402
How about that?
You're gonna be an auntie.
981
00:49:08,696 --> 00:49:10,197
You're having a baby?
982
00:49:10,281 --> 00:49:12,491
Yeah. Smashing, innit?
983
00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:16,120
And you'll have to look
after me while he's away.
984
00:49:17,204 --> 00:49:18,873
You will look after me,
won't you, Joanie?
985
00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:21,584
Does he know?
986
00:49:21,667 --> 00:49:22,877
No.
987
00:49:24,253 --> 00:49:25,796
Well, hadn't you
better tell him?
988
00:49:25,921 --> 00:49:27,882
Well, he's going
to war, Joanie.
989
00:49:28,716 --> 00:49:30,301
I don't want to burden him
with it.
990
00:49:30,384 --> 00:49:31,927
Walter needs a clear head,
991
00:49:32,011 --> 00:49:34,430
not worried about me
and a baby. And then,
992
00:49:34,513 --> 00:49:35,973
when he gets back,
it'll be a lovely surprise
993
00:49:36,056 --> 00:49:38,434
and then we can get married.
994
00:49:38,517 --> 00:49:43,355
Oh. Ain't life wonderful?
995
00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:46,609
Yeah.
996
00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:19,850
You came.
997
00:50:22,269 --> 00:50:24,480
Nell wants to get married.
To me.
998
00:50:24,563 --> 00:50:25,606
I gathered.
999
00:50:25,689 --> 00:50:27,942
I'm very fond of her,
you know that.
1000
00:50:28,067 --> 00:50:29,693
Er, looks like it.
1001
00:50:29,777 --> 00:50:31,529
I got carried away thinking
1002
00:50:31,612 --> 00:50:32,863
I could have fun
with both of you.
1003
00:50:32,947 --> 00:50:34,073
This damn war made me feel
1004
00:50:34,156 --> 00:50:36,242
like I could act like
there was no tomorrow.
1005
00:50:36,325 --> 00:50:37,576
Look, it's all right.
1006
00:50:37,660 --> 00:50:38,661
And it wasn't fair.
1007
00:50:38,869 --> 00:50:40,329
And I'm sorry if I hurt you.
1008
00:50:40,412 --> 00:50:41,830
Please, don't.
1009
00:50:41,914 --> 00:50:43,040
But the truth is,
1010
00:50:43,791 --> 00:50:44,833
if there is a tomorrow,
1011
00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:48,837
it's you I'd want to
spend it with, not her.
1012
00:50:50,047 --> 00:50:52,758
Oh. Walter.
1013
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:57,263
Well, I don't know where
you got that idea from,
1014
00:50:57,346 --> 00:50:58,764
because the feeling's
not mutual.
1015
00:50:58,931 --> 00:51:00,266
You don't mean that.
1016
00:51:00,349 --> 00:51:03,811
Oh, don't I? I...
I only let you pal around
1017
00:51:03,894 --> 00:51:06,522
with me and Nell because
I knew she was sweet on ya.
1018
00:51:06,605 --> 00:51:09,024
I mean, what would I want with
a big longshanks like you?
1019
00:51:09,316 --> 00:51:10,985
Joanie, I'm being serious.
1020
00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:13,153
So am I.
Now get on that train.
1021
00:51:14,488 --> 00:51:15,489
This can't be true.
1022
00:51:15,781 --> 00:51:18,409
Well, it is, Walter.
And the sooner you get it
1023
00:51:18,492 --> 00:51:20,661
into that fat Yank head
of yours, the better.
1024
00:51:21,787 --> 00:51:22,955
Now get on that train
and go and do
1025
00:51:23,038 --> 00:51:24,039
something useful
with your life.
1026
00:51:25,791 --> 00:51:27,209
Please.
1027
00:51:27,543 --> 00:51:29,545
Joanie, you're killing me.
1028
00:51:31,088 --> 00:51:32,756
This could be the last time
we ever see each other.
1029
00:51:33,340 --> 00:51:37,011
Oh, well. Ta, ta.
1030
00:51:59,033 --> 00:52:02,494
Joanie, I swear I will
make a good life for you.
1031
00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:05,289
I will do everything I can
to make you happy.
1032
00:52:05,372 --> 00:52:07,875
I will be your rock.
I will be your heart.
1033
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:10,836
Please, Joanie.
Will you marry me?
1034
00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:12,129
Yes.
1035
00:52:12,421 --> 00:52:13,922
No, I'm sorry, I said,
"Will you marry me?"
1036
00:52:14,006 --> 00:52:16,133
I know,
and I said yes.
1037
00:52:21,847 --> 00:52:22,848
Wow.
1038
00:52:22,931 --> 00:52:24,308
How'd he react?
1039
00:52:24,391 --> 00:52:25,643
He shit himself.
1040
00:52:25,726 --> 00:52:28,354
I don't think either of us
were expecting it.
1041
00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:30,898
We did a quick
registry office
1042
00:52:30,981 --> 00:52:32,650
and moved in together.
1043
00:52:32,733 --> 00:52:34,360
It was quite the weekend.
1044
00:52:34,443 --> 00:52:37,071
-Finished.
-Wow, that's amazing.
1045
00:52:37,613 --> 00:52:39,615
What's all this then,
Mick, Mick, Mick?
1046
00:52:39,698 --> 00:52:41,408
Represents the struggle
for dominance
1047
00:52:41,492 --> 00:52:43,243
between man and beast.
1048
00:52:43,327 --> 00:52:44,995
The machine that tries
to belittle him,
1049
00:52:45,079 --> 00:52:47,998
and how the only way to beat
the cruel system of capitalism
1050
00:52:48,082 --> 00:52:49,708
is to blow it up
from the inside.
1051
00:52:49,792 --> 00:52:50,793
Oh.
1052
00:52:51,835 --> 00:52:53,087
And I thought it was a gonk.
1053
00:52:54,046 --> 00:52:55,089
Feeling better?
1054
00:52:55,756 --> 00:52:58,300
I won't lie, I do.
1055
00:52:58,842 --> 00:53:01,637
See? The healing
power of crafts.
1056
00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:03,722
Erm, Froggo again.
1057
00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:04,848
It's the 4am news,
1058
00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:07,351
and gardaí are still
on the hunt for an arsonist
1059
00:53:07,434 --> 00:53:09,978
who planted explosives
in a factory fire in Kildare.
1060
00:53:12,481 --> 00:53:13,482
The last suspected attack
1061
00:53:13,565 --> 00:53:15,567
believed to be as recent
as Tuesday.
1062
00:53:15,651 --> 00:53:16,944
Garda believe the arsonist
1063
00:53:17,027 --> 00:53:19,071
to be a militant
animal rights activist
1064
00:53:19,154 --> 00:53:20,906
who is considered
extremely dangerous
1065
00:53:20,989 --> 00:53:22,700
and to be avoided
at all costs.
1066
00:53:22,783 --> 00:53:24,743
It's all happening
in Ireland, innit?
1067
00:53:24,827 --> 00:53:27,955
...describe him as a man with
dark hair, deep-set eyes,
1068
00:53:28,038 --> 00:53:31,166
and a tattoo on his arm
with the letters M-M-M.
1069
00:53:33,836 --> 00:53:34,837
And now for the weather.
1070
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:36,630
I'm afraid
there's more doom and gloom.
1071
00:53:36,714 --> 00:53:38,048
Mick, Mick, Mick.
1072
00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:39,717
"Meat means murder."
1073
00:53:40,134 --> 00:53:42,678
Oh? Right.
1074
00:53:43,721 --> 00:53:45,347
Yeah, that makes more sense.
1075
00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:50,936
Well, we better make a move.
1076
00:53:51,186 --> 00:53:53,021
Yeah, busy schedule.
1077
00:53:53,105 --> 00:53:55,107
Yeah, I've got to go see
my sister. She's dying.
1078
00:53:55,190 --> 00:53:56,275
-Get in the van.
-What?
1079
00:53:56,442 --> 00:54:00,821
Get in the van.
1080
00:54:00,946 --> 00:54:04,032
I've gotta say, even now,
1081
00:54:04,116 --> 00:54:07,244
it's hard not to feel charmed.
1082
00:54:07,953 --> 00:54:11,623
Let's all take a nice
drive to the countryside.
1083
00:54:11,707 --> 00:54:13,000
What are you gonna do?
1084
00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:15,878
"We." What are "we" gonna do?
1085
00:54:15,961 --> 00:54:17,921
We're gonna blow up a farm.
1086
00:54:18,839 --> 00:54:21,425
A farm? With what?
1087
00:54:21,508 --> 00:54:23,010
With this.
1088
00:54:23,886 --> 00:54:26,263
Oh-ho, no, we're not, son.
As we know,
1089
00:54:26,346 --> 00:54:29,308
I'm not immune to
your dulcet tones,
1090
00:54:29,391 --> 00:54:31,435
but I've gotta draw
the line somewhere.
1091
00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:34,396
You know,
there's a good way to live,
1092
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:35,773
and there's a bad way.
1093
00:54:35,856 --> 00:54:37,399
No.
1094
00:54:37,483 --> 00:54:40,778
And the bad way is walking
away from what's right.
1095
00:54:41,195 --> 00:54:43,155
And what's a good way?
1096
00:54:44,531 --> 00:54:46,700
It doesn't matter.
Now you don't have a choice.
1097
00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:48,911
-Ah, done it again.
-What are you doin'?
1098
00:54:49,411 --> 00:54:51,538
I'm not a monster,
I'm on a mission.
1099
00:54:51,622 --> 00:54:53,373
You don't know
what they do to them.
1100
00:54:53,457 --> 00:54:54,875
-To whom?
-To the animals.
1101
00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:58,086
Don't.
1102
00:54:58,170 --> 00:55:00,756
Now that's a waste.
They're already dead.
1103
00:55:00,839 --> 00:55:02,382
The way they treat them.
1104
00:55:02,466 --> 00:55:05,219
Bred from birth to die
in horrific circumstances.
1105
00:55:05,302 --> 00:55:07,095
It's just not right!
1106
00:55:07,179 --> 00:55:09,097
All right, son. Keep it light.
1107
00:55:09,848 --> 00:55:11,266
All I did was let
the animals go free,
1108
00:55:11,350 --> 00:55:13,727
and then burn down the
buildings. Is that a crime?
1109
00:55:14,019 --> 00:55:16,104
-Well, yeah, course it is.
-Definitely a crime.
1110
00:55:16,188 --> 00:55:17,898
-What do you want with my nan?
-Collateral.
1111
00:55:18,565 --> 00:55:19,566
She comes with me and then
1112
00:55:19,650 --> 00:55:20,943
when we're done,
you drive us away.
1113
00:55:21,860 --> 00:55:23,195
Are you touched?
1114
00:55:23,779 --> 00:55:25,989
I'm not blowing up
a fucking farm.
1115
00:55:26,281 --> 00:55:27,950
I'm a pensioner.
1116
00:55:28,033 --> 00:55:30,786
I'm not spending me
last few years in a cell
1117
00:55:30,869 --> 00:55:33,455
fighting off a woman
called Beth.
1118
00:55:33,539 --> 00:55:35,290
That's an offensive
stereotype.
1119
00:55:35,374 --> 00:55:38,669
Oh, wake up
and smell the lesbian.
1120
00:55:39,086 --> 00:55:40,921
Orange might be the new black.
1121
00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:42,506
But they still wanna have a go
1122
00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:44,132
up your clacker
when the lights go out.
1123
00:55:55,060 --> 00:55:56,854
Security takes ten minutes
to change shift.
1124
00:55:56,937 --> 00:55:58,105
That's gonna be our window.
1125
00:55:58,438 --> 00:56:00,691
So let's get in position
before the guard comes out.
1126
00:56:00,774 --> 00:56:03,193
Come on.
When you get the signal,
1127
00:56:03,277 --> 00:56:04,695
you step on it
and come and get us
1128
00:56:04,778 --> 00:56:05,779
and then we get the hell
out of here, all right?
1129
00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:07,239
What's the signal?
1130
00:56:07,322 --> 00:56:09,074
A bloody great big explosion.
That be enough for ya?
1131
00:56:09,157 --> 00:56:10,951
-Yeah.
-Okay, let's go. Come on.
1132
00:56:11,034 --> 00:56:12,411
You've got it all caught.
1133
00:56:12,494 --> 00:56:14,788
Get the seatbelt off
first, please.
1134
00:56:14,872 --> 00:56:16,290
Oh, that's all I need!
1135
00:56:28,468 --> 00:56:29,678
Oh.
1136
00:56:35,893 --> 00:56:39,104
I mean, this is all I need,
I can tell you that much.
1137
00:56:39,187 --> 00:56:40,188
I shouldn't be here.
1138
00:56:40,272 --> 00:56:41,857
I'm supposed to be
cashing in me Wowchers.
1139
00:56:41,940 --> 00:56:44,776
All I wanted was
to get a Paul Hollywood
1140
00:56:44,860 --> 00:56:46,153
and see Coventry.
1141
00:56:46,236 --> 00:56:48,196
Nah. But instead,
I'm handcuffed
1142
00:56:48,322 --> 00:56:50,699
to Daniel O-fucking-Donnell.
1143
00:56:50,782 --> 00:56:52,492
-Oh, no.
-What?
1144
00:56:52,576 --> 00:56:54,202
-Oh, I need the lav.
-You're joking me.
1145
00:56:54,286 --> 00:56:55,996
No, no.
1146
00:56:56,079 --> 00:56:57,414
Oh, we'll have
to go over there.
1147
00:56:57,497 --> 00:56:59,583
Ooh, quick. Oh, quick.
1148
00:57:00,375 --> 00:57:01,835
Quick.
1149
00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:03,462
Let me behind this bush.
1150
00:57:03,670 --> 00:57:05,547
Oh, come on,
it's fallin' out of me.
1151
00:57:05,631 --> 00:57:07,591
-Ugh!
-Let's get this done.
1152
00:57:13,597 --> 00:57:14,598
Hello, mate.
1153
00:57:14,681 --> 00:57:15,682
Are you lost?
1154
00:57:16,516 --> 00:57:18,101
Yeah, I am, actually.
1155
00:57:18,185 --> 00:57:19,394
What are you lookin' for?
1156
00:57:19,978 --> 00:57:21,355
You're pretty far away
from anywhere.
1157
00:57:22,105 --> 00:57:23,941
I'm looking...
1158
00:57:24,900 --> 00:57:27,069
Looking, looking...
1159
00:57:27,819 --> 00:57:30,447
Looking to get into
the security game.
1160
00:57:30,530 --> 00:57:32,240
-You?
-Yep.
1161
00:57:32,699 --> 00:57:33,867
Yeah, right.
1162
00:57:35,243 --> 00:57:36,244
Open the door.
1163
00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:39,665
Your mini bus says...
1164
00:57:39,748 --> 00:57:40,958
Ooh!
1165
00:57:41,041 --> 00:57:42,042
Find me a dock leaf, son.
1166
00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:43,543
It's running down
the back of me legs.
1167
00:57:43,627 --> 00:57:44,628
Mind my shoes!
1168
00:57:44,795 --> 00:57:47,172
Yeah, it's a long story.
1169
00:57:47,881 --> 00:57:49,299
Is it?
1170
00:57:55,305 --> 00:57:56,306
I don't know
what they put
1171
00:57:56,390 --> 00:57:57,391
in them fridge Rustlers.
1172
00:57:57,474 --> 00:58:00,435
But it definitely don't go
with 12 pints of Guinness!
1173
00:58:00,519 --> 00:58:02,688
Fuck me!
1174
00:58:03,188 --> 00:58:07,651
We've got, erm, buttons,
shells, feathers,
1175
00:58:07,734 --> 00:58:09,945
googly eyes, crayons.
1176
00:58:10,028 --> 00:58:12,364
My wife finds colouring in
very soothing.
1177
00:58:13,115 --> 00:58:15,200
-Oh, does she?
-Yeah.
1178
00:58:16,868 --> 00:58:18,662
I'm not great with crayons,
1179
00:58:18,745 --> 00:58:19,997
but I've tried
a bit of origami
1180
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,081
and I was
surprisingly nimble.
1181
00:58:21,957 --> 00:58:22,958
That's nice.
1182
00:58:27,170 --> 00:58:29,840
Come on then,
Mick, Mick, Mick.
1183
00:58:30,090 --> 00:58:33,427
Let's do this,
you mad vegan fucker.
1184
00:58:37,889 --> 00:58:39,766
Actually, I've put a lot
of posts on Pinterest.
1185
00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:40,851
Oh, right.
1186
00:58:44,855 --> 00:58:46,773
It was decoupage that changed
the paradigm for me.
1187
00:58:47,649 --> 00:58:49,568
-Really?
-Oh, absolute game-changer.
1188
00:58:49,651 --> 00:58:51,737
You have to have
the precision of a sniper
1189
00:58:51,820 --> 00:58:54,489
and the gossamer-like touch
of a butterfly's wing.
1190
00:58:55,282 --> 00:58:57,242
Look, you seem
like a really nice man
1191
00:58:57,325 --> 00:58:59,161
and I love that you get
so much out of papier-mâché,
1192
00:58:59,244 --> 00:59:00,787
but I'm in a really
complicated situation.
1193
00:59:00,871 --> 00:59:03,832
Decoupage is not papier-mâché.
It's more glaze based.
1194
00:59:03,957 --> 00:59:05,792
My mistake.
When I said papier-mâché...
1195
00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:07,085
Hang on.
1196
00:59:07,169 --> 00:59:08,920
Oh, cluck. Cluck me.
1197
00:59:09,004 --> 00:59:11,048
Huh?
1198
00:59:17,471 --> 00:59:19,097
I'm coming!
1199
00:59:26,271 --> 00:59:27,272
Come on!
1200
00:59:37,157 --> 00:59:38,700
I suppose
we gotta make a move...
1201
00:59:41,787 --> 00:59:42,996
Come on.
1202
00:59:44,206 --> 00:59:45,999
Quickly,
hurry up, get in!
1203
00:59:47,626 --> 00:59:49,628
That was amazing! Ha-ha!
1204
00:59:55,133 --> 00:59:58,553
You're a good man, Jamie.
We saved all them chickens!
1205
01:00:01,848 --> 01:00:02,849
Nearly all of 'em.
1206
01:00:03,391 --> 01:00:05,560
-What do we do now?
-Drive, drive!
1207
01:00:05,644 --> 01:00:08,230
Go, go, go, go!
1208
01:00:14,402 --> 01:00:15,487
Yeah!
1209
01:00:15,570 --> 01:00:18,240
Now this is what
I call a proper day out!
1210
01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:24,287
Oh!
1211
01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:29,835
-Ahh. No.
-Oh!
1212
01:00:38,301 --> 01:00:39,302
I think I lost 'em.
1213
01:00:41,388 --> 01:00:42,264
Come on, then, Mick. Aah!
1214
01:00:44,057 --> 01:00:45,559
-Oh, no.
-Wooo.
1215
01:00:54,526 --> 01:00:55,819
This is insane.
1216
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:01,241
What do we do now?
1217
01:01:01,741 --> 01:01:04,953
I am buzzing.
1218
01:01:06,329 --> 01:01:07,831
I gotta say,
1219
01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:09,833
I could see how you could get
a taste for all this,
1220
01:01:09,916 --> 01:01:12,085
Mick, Mick, Mick. Whoo!
1221
01:01:12,169 --> 01:01:15,672
I've never felt so alive.
I'm buzzing.
1222
01:01:15,755 --> 01:01:17,382
Is this what they mean
when they say it, eh?
1223
01:01:17,465 --> 01:01:19,676
Because I am buzzing.
1224
01:01:19,759 --> 01:01:21,928
I do feel like I'm buzzing.
1225
01:01:22,012 --> 01:01:24,890
It makes me wonder what
I've been doing all my life.
1226
01:01:24,973 --> 01:01:26,558
Well, we didn't just
do it for the buzz.
1227
01:01:26,641 --> 01:01:28,185
There was a point
to what we did.
1228
01:01:28,268 --> 01:01:29,269
Oh, I see.
1229
01:01:29,352 --> 01:01:30,937
Can you uncuff my nan, please?
1230
01:01:31,021 --> 01:01:33,440
I can't. I chucked the key
out the window, remember?
1231
01:01:33,523 --> 01:01:34,816
You got a saw back here?
1232
01:01:34,900 --> 01:01:37,611
It's a craft mobile for people
with emotional difficulties.
1233
01:01:37,694 --> 01:01:39,029
I don't carry sharp objects.
1234
01:01:39,112 --> 01:01:41,364
Well, I guess we're stuck
together then, aren't we?
1235
01:01:42,532 --> 01:01:43,533
We need to get out
of the country
1236
01:01:43,617 --> 01:01:44,618
and then we'll work it out.
1237
01:01:44,701 --> 01:01:45,785
Get out of the country?
1238
01:01:45,869 --> 01:01:48,538
We're wanted criminals.
There'll be police everywhere.
1239
01:01:48,622 --> 01:01:50,749
And they'll be watching
the airports, the sea ports.
1240
01:01:50,874 --> 01:01:52,417
It's only a matter of time.
1241
01:01:52,500 --> 01:01:53,835
I think we should
hand ourselves in.
1242
01:01:53,919 --> 01:01:56,421
Oh, calm down,
you big old Mary Ann.
1243
01:01:56,504 --> 01:01:58,465
You're harshing my vibe.
1244
01:01:59,424 --> 01:02:01,843
We're going to the island
off of Ireland,
1245
01:02:01,927 --> 01:02:03,553
hiding Mick from the police.
1246
01:02:03,637 --> 01:02:05,263
Oh.
1247
01:02:06,765 --> 01:02:07,766
Oh, God.
1248
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:11,937
Oh, I've got an idea.
1249
01:02:15,732 --> 01:02:17,817
Still buzzing, you know.
1250
01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:24,866
All done.
1251
01:02:24,950 --> 01:02:27,452
Oh, thanks for helping out,
Aussies.
1252
01:02:27,535 --> 01:02:28,578
Ah, you're welcome, Nan.
1253
01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:31,206
We wanted to see the island
off of Ireland, anyway.
1254
01:02:31,289 --> 01:02:33,833
-Aussies on tour.
-Are we all ready?
1255
01:02:35,043 --> 01:02:36,419
Come on,
we gotta be quick.
1256
01:02:36,503 --> 01:02:39,798
Come on then!
Let's go the island
1257
01:02:39,881 --> 01:02:41,591
That is off of Ireland
1258
01:02:41,675 --> 01:02:43,677
La-la-la-la
Hey
1259
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,845
La-la-la-la
Hey
1260
01:02:45,929 --> 01:02:47,889
Let's go to the island
1261
01:02:47,973 --> 01:02:49,683
That is off of Ireland
1262
01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:57,440
Shabooya-yah-yah
Shabooya, roll call!
1263
01:02:57,524 --> 01:02:59,317
-My name is Arsemunch
-ALL: Yeah!
1264
01:02:59,401 --> 01:03:01,069
-And I drink beer
-ALL: Yeah!
1265
01:03:01,152 --> 01:03:02,696
-While playing rugby
-ALL: Yeah!
1266
01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:03,780
I hope we win
1267
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:06,241
Ruined it.
1268
01:03:07,117 --> 01:03:08,576
Roll call
1269
01:03:08,660 --> 01:03:12,122
Shabooya-yah-yah
Shabooya, roll call!
1270
01:03:12,289 --> 01:03:15,834
Shabooya-yah-yah
Shabooya, roll call!
1271
01:03:17,252 --> 01:03:18,962
Oh, shit.
1272
01:03:19,045 --> 01:03:20,046
Get your
head down, Mick.
1273
01:03:20,130 --> 01:03:21,798
-Nan.
-There we go.
1274
01:03:25,719 --> 01:03:27,012
Jamie, you can do this.
1275
01:03:27,095 --> 01:03:28,513
You're an Australian
rugby player
1276
01:03:28,596 --> 01:03:30,432
from Australia in Ireland.
1277
01:03:30,515 --> 01:03:32,434
Keep your voice down.
1278
01:03:38,857 --> 01:03:40,483
G'day, officer.
1279
01:03:40,567 --> 01:03:41,651
Morning, lads.
1280
01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:43,361
G'day, officer.
1281
01:03:43,445 --> 01:03:45,280
G'day, officer.
1282
01:03:45,363 --> 01:03:46,364
Where are you boys off to?
1283
01:03:46,781 --> 01:03:47,949
Big game.
1284
01:03:48,033 --> 01:03:49,409
-Yeah.
-Who's in here?
1285
01:03:49,492 --> 01:03:50,535
The rugby team?
1286
01:03:50,618 --> 01:03:52,746
Oh, yeah, just us boys.
1287
01:03:53,580 --> 01:03:54,956
Oh, really?
1288
01:03:55,248 --> 01:03:57,375
Just us boys, is it?
1289
01:04:02,839 --> 01:04:04,549
Yeah!
1290
01:04:05,383 --> 01:04:07,344
Just us boys!
1291
01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:11,973
Here enjoying
a couple of tinnies.
1292
01:04:12,057 --> 01:04:16,978
And saving babies
from dingoes, Sarah.
1293
01:04:18,396 --> 01:04:20,190
-What's she saying?
-"She"?
1294
01:04:20,273 --> 01:04:21,941
It's how we identify.
1295
01:04:22,025 --> 01:04:23,026
Oh, yeah.
1296
01:04:23,109 --> 01:04:24,277
I need a number plate checked.
1297
01:04:24,361 --> 01:04:25,695
-We're fluid.
-AR 02.
1298
01:04:25,779 --> 01:04:27,197
Non-binary.
1299
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:29,032
Eco-friendly.
1300
01:04:29,866 --> 01:04:30,867
Queer.
1301
01:04:32,660 --> 01:04:35,789
There is a distinct smell
of urine in this mini bus.
1302
01:04:36,164 --> 01:04:37,582
That was Nutsack.
1303
01:04:37,665 --> 01:04:39,000
Take that wig off.
1304
01:04:39,084 --> 01:04:41,169
It's stuck to my head.
1305
01:04:41,252 --> 01:04:44,672
Take that wig off!
1306
01:04:44,756 --> 01:04:49,677
I can't hear you!
1307
01:04:50,261 --> 01:04:51,262
We're fucked.
1308
01:04:51,346 --> 01:04:52,389
You're not. It's me they want.
1309
01:04:52,472 --> 01:04:53,723
I knew it was you.
1310
01:04:53,807 --> 01:04:57,018
Oh, well done,
Scouse Sherlock.
1311
01:04:57,811 --> 01:04:59,396
That number
plate matches the bee van.
1312
01:04:59,479 --> 01:05:00,480
That's him. He's in here!
1313
01:05:00,563 --> 01:05:01,856
Oh, God.
We're trapped.
1314
01:05:01,940 --> 01:05:03,608
All units,
suspect in the van,
1315
01:05:03,691 --> 01:05:04,818
in the blue-purple van.
1316
01:05:05,485 --> 01:05:06,528
They only want me.
1317
01:05:06,611 --> 01:05:08,571
Well, you might be
Ireland's most wanted,
1318
01:05:08,655 --> 01:05:10,240
but I've got a bit
of form me self.
1319
01:05:10,323 --> 01:05:13,451
No regrets. Promise me
you'll see your sister.
1320
01:05:13,535 --> 01:05:14,994
What are you talking about?
1321
01:05:16,538 --> 01:05:18,039
Thought you threw that
out of the window.
1322
01:05:18,123 --> 01:05:22,377
Tullamore child magician
of the year, 1994.
1323
01:05:24,003 --> 01:05:25,296
I don't need 'em no more.
1324
01:05:25,380 --> 01:05:27,882
Go and see Nell.
I mean it.
1325
01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:31,094
Open the boot,
open the boot.
1326
01:05:31,803 --> 01:05:33,388
Close the boot,
close the boot.
1327
01:05:39,519 --> 01:05:41,396
What a smashing fella.
1328
01:05:41,479 --> 01:05:45,108
Violent, angry, dangerous.
1329
01:05:45,191 --> 01:05:47,402
Everything you'd want
in a vegan.
1330
01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:07,714
I could vomit,
1331
01:06:07,797 --> 01:06:10,008
I could vomit,
I could vomit.
1332
01:06:10,091 --> 01:06:12,886
But in a good way,
in a good way I could vomit.
1333
01:06:14,345 --> 01:06:15,472
Whoo!
1334
01:06:16,848 --> 01:06:18,683
Let's go to the island
1335
01:06:18,766 --> 01:06:20,560
That is off of Ireland
1336
01:06:20,643 --> 01:06:22,353
La-la-la-la
Hey
1337
01:06:22,437 --> 01:06:24,689
La-la-la-la
Hey
1338
01:06:24,772 --> 01:06:26,357
Let's go to the island
1339
01:06:26,441 --> 01:06:28,318
That is off of Ireland
1340
01:06:28,401 --> 01:06:30,403
La-la-la-la
Hey
1341
01:06:30,487 --> 01:06:31,905
La-la-la-la
Hey
1342
01:06:33,531 --> 01:06:35,408
Nan, Nan, look.
1343
01:06:36,367 --> 01:06:38,036
Gotta make this ferry.
1344
01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:39,370
No ferry, no beer.
1345
01:06:39,454 --> 01:06:40,747
Before they do
all the fuckin' booze.
1346
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:41,998
This is all your fault.
1347
01:06:42,749 --> 01:06:44,584
We're only here
because of you.
1348
01:06:44,667 --> 01:06:47,879
I mean, I'm supposed to be
in a day spa in Coventry
1349
01:06:47,962 --> 01:06:49,881
with my legs up,
having hot wax
1350
01:06:49,964 --> 01:06:50,965
poured all over me noon.
1351
01:06:51,049 --> 01:06:53,885
Which, as Crystal Meth Cathy
reliably informed me,
1352
01:06:53,968 --> 01:06:56,429
is the correct definition
of an Hollywood.
1353
01:07:00,892 --> 01:07:02,644
I mean, that fella
off the Bake Off,
1354
01:07:02,727 --> 01:07:05,230
he ain't gonna be there.
Nothing to do with him.
1355
01:07:05,313 --> 01:07:07,357
He won't be anywhere in sight.
1356
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:08,775
Take all your hair off.
1357
01:07:08,858 --> 01:07:11,027
Mary Berry wouldn't stand
for that.
1358
01:07:11,819 --> 01:07:14,614
-My name is Nutsack!
-Not now!
1359
01:07:14,697 --> 01:07:15,698
She's gaining on us.
1360
01:07:15,782 --> 01:07:18,326
This woman stops me
getting a drink...
1361
01:07:18,409 --> 01:07:20,411
Jamie,
1362
01:07:20,495 --> 01:07:22,288
pull yourself together.
1363
01:07:22,372 --> 01:07:24,874
For God's sake, calm down.
1364
01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:26,876
I can't go any faster.
1365
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,837
Hyperventilating clown.
What's the matter with ya?
1366
01:07:29,921 --> 01:07:32,090
The law,
she's an officer of the law.
1367
01:07:32,173 --> 01:07:34,342
She's a fucking
traffic warden.
1368
01:07:34,425 --> 01:07:36,094
Lose her, mate.
She can't stop us.
1369
01:07:36,177 --> 01:07:37,178
No ferry, no beer.
1370
01:07:37,262 --> 01:07:38,304
Quick,
the ferry's leaving.
1371
01:07:42,433 --> 01:07:43,935
It's okay, I'm sorry.
1372
01:07:44,018 --> 01:07:46,646
-We missed it, Nan.
-We haven't! You can do it!
1373
01:07:46,729 --> 01:07:48,314
Or are you just chicken shit?
1374
01:07:48,398 --> 01:07:50,066
-What did you call me?
-Chicken shit.
1375
01:07:50,149 --> 01:07:51,401
Nobody calls me chicken shit.
1376
01:07:51,484 --> 01:07:53,778
-Chicken shit! Did it again.
-Chicken shit!
1377
01:07:53,861 --> 01:07:55,697
Froggo just called you
chicken shit!
1378
01:07:55,780 --> 01:07:58,992
Chicken shit! Chicken shit!
1379
01:07:59,075 --> 01:08:02,328
-Chicken shit!
-I am not chicken shit!
1380
01:08:11,754 --> 01:08:13,172
The copper's missed!
1381
01:08:13,256 --> 01:08:15,758
I'll get you, old woman!
1382
01:08:15,842 --> 01:08:17,427
You nailed it, Jamie!
1383
01:08:21,472 --> 01:08:23,182
Well, I gotta hand it to you.
1384
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:25,143
You got me there in the end.
1385
01:08:26,269 --> 01:08:28,146
Yeah, I did.
1386
01:08:29,814 --> 01:08:30,940
So, go on, then.
1387
01:08:31,691 --> 01:08:34,319
You had a whirlwind wedding
with Terry.
1388
01:08:34,402 --> 01:08:36,779
Yeah, I married Tel.
1389
01:08:37,155 --> 01:08:38,823
And Walter went off to war.
1390
01:08:40,575 --> 01:08:43,244
Then Terry spent every night
interfering with me.
1391
01:08:43,369 --> 01:08:45,538
Sometimes twice
if he had an early shift.
1392
01:08:45,622 --> 01:08:47,123
Nan, didn't need
to know all that.
1393
01:08:47,206 --> 01:08:48,625
Well, you did ask.
1394
01:08:51,753 --> 01:08:53,755
And then, four months later,
that was it.
1395
01:08:55,006 --> 01:08:56,299
War was over.
1396
01:08:57,634 --> 01:08:58,843
Ceasefire.
1397
01:08:59,802 --> 01:09:01,012
Peace.
1398
01:09:19,072 --> 01:09:20,948
And after
all those years,
1399
01:09:21,074 --> 01:09:23,284
all that chaos and commotion,
1400
01:09:23,785 --> 01:09:24,869
suddenly...
1401
01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:27,538
...it all stopped.
1402
01:09:28,581 --> 01:09:31,709
And Walter came back to make
an honest woman of Nell.
1403
01:09:31,793 --> 01:09:34,837
Oh. Ah.
1404
01:09:34,921 --> 01:09:36,422
Oh, do you think I look nice?
1405
01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:39,926
Here, you're lucky
you're not showin'.
1406
01:09:40,677 --> 01:09:43,137
You are sweet, Joanie.
1407
01:09:43,221 --> 01:09:44,847
What are you talking about?
1408
01:09:45,765 --> 01:09:47,600
Come on, Joan.
1409
01:09:48,393 --> 01:09:49,894
I'm not really pregnant.
1410
01:09:51,062 --> 01:09:53,398
-I never was.
-What?
1411
01:09:53,940 --> 01:09:56,067
I thought you'd have
worked that out by now.
1412
01:09:57,318 --> 01:09:58,820
I'm not a tart.
1413
01:10:03,491 --> 01:10:06,327
I saw that note
Walter wrote to you.
1414
01:10:06,411 --> 01:10:09,622
I thought, "I'm not having
that. He's mine."
1415
01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:13,960
Oh, come on, Joanie.
1416
01:10:14,877 --> 01:10:16,212
What did Mum always say?
1417
01:10:16,295 --> 01:10:19,132
"All's fair in love and war."
1418
01:10:20,842 --> 01:10:23,720
What'd you do that for?
What's wrong with you?
1419
01:10:23,803 --> 01:10:25,596
-Get off!
-You say sorry.
1420
01:10:31,728 --> 01:10:34,439
You pathetic lump of lard.
1421
01:10:34,522 --> 01:10:35,815
It's my wedding day.
1422
01:10:36,774 --> 01:10:38,985
Well, then, go and get married.
1423
01:10:41,696 --> 01:10:43,740
You wouldn't have known
what to do with him anyway.
1424
01:10:47,410 --> 01:10:49,454
You're a piece of work, Nell.
1425
01:10:50,037 --> 01:10:52,790
I gave him up for you!
1426
01:10:58,796 --> 01:11:00,798
Ah!
1427
01:11:03,176 --> 01:11:05,011
He wouldn't have wanted you.
1428
01:11:05,094 --> 01:11:06,429
But he did, Nell.
1429
01:11:06,554 --> 01:11:09,140
And you took him just
because you couldn't...
1430
01:11:09,223 --> 01:11:10,308
What the bleedin' hell
is going on in here?
1431
01:11:16,272 --> 01:11:19,400
The day you were born,
Daddy told me
1432
01:11:19,484 --> 01:11:22,403
to always look after you
and I always have.
1433
01:11:23,029 --> 01:11:24,572
But that ends today.
1434
01:11:26,199 --> 01:11:28,701
You are dead to me.
1435
01:11:28,785 --> 01:11:31,162
Don't be so dramatic, Joanie.
1436
01:11:31,245 --> 01:11:33,164
Today's supposed
to be a celebration.
1437
01:11:33,247 --> 01:11:34,957
It is, Nell.
1438
01:11:35,166 --> 01:11:37,710
Because if I've read
this situation correctly,
1439
01:11:37,794 --> 01:11:40,379
we don't ever
have to see you again.
1440
01:11:42,256 --> 01:11:43,591
Well said, Tel.
1441
01:11:44,842 --> 01:11:46,469
Shall we?
1442
01:12:24,382 --> 01:12:26,175
Couldn't you have been
with Walter then,
1443
01:12:26,259 --> 01:12:27,510
once you knew the truth?
1444
01:12:28,678 --> 01:12:30,179
No, I was a married woman.
1445
01:12:31,472 --> 01:12:33,266
That's not how things
were done.
1446
01:12:35,184 --> 01:12:37,186
So, that's why you never
speak to Auntie Nell?
1447
01:12:37,270 --> 01:12:38,980
She stole my life.
1448
01:12:40,982 --> 01:12:42,942
I got lumbered with Tel.
1449
01:12:43,025 --> 01:12:46,195
While she swanked off into
the sunset drinking champagne
1450
01:12:46,279 --> 01:12:47,989
and snorting caviar,
1451
01:12:48,072 --> 01:12:50,700
or whatever it is
heavy-chested girls get to do.
1452
01:12:52,118 --> 01:12:55,788
Yeah, but you had a nice life
with Grandad Tel, didn't ya?
1453
01:12:56,831 --> 01:12:58,040
It was all right.
1454
01:12:59,959 --> 01:13:01,794
But it wasn't what I deserved.
1455
01:13:04,046 --> 01:13:05,339
I did everything right.
1456
01:13:07,008 --> 01:13:08,509
And look where it got me.
1457
01:13:10,511 --> 01:13:12,263
We are on the island
1458
01:13:12,346 --> 01:13:14,432
That is off of Ireland
1459
01:13:14,515 --> 01:13:16,142
La-la-la-la
Hey
1460
01:13:16,225 --> 01:13:18,060
La-la-la-la
Hey
1461
01:13:18,144 --> 01:13:20,229
We are on the island
1462
01:13:20,313 --> 01:13:22,231
That is off of Ireland
1463
01:13:22,315 --> 01:13:24,275
La-la-la-la
Hey
1464
01:13:24,358 --> 01:13:25,735
La-la-la-la
Hey
1465
01:13:31,866 --> 01:13:33,367
Here, I'll tell you what,
1466
01:13:33,451 --> 01:13:35,369
we'll always have
that ferry jump.
1467
01:13:37,663 --> 01:13:39,624
Oh, er, quick question.
1468
01:13:39,707 --> 01:13:42,835
What is there to do on the
island off of Ireland, Nan?
1469
01:13:42,919 --> 01:13:44,378
Oh, nothing, darling.
1470
01:13:44,462 --> 01:13:47,214
No, I mean,
it's an absolute tip.
1471
01:13:47,298 --> 01:13:49,675
Still, there's another
ferry tomorrow.
1472
01:13:51,385 --> 01:13:53,638
-Tally-ho, sweethearts.
-Bye, Nan.
1473
01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:56,057
We're really grateful,
thanks very much.
1474
01:13:56,140 --> 01:13:58,517
Hey, well done, tough guy.
1475
01:13:59,226 --> 01:14:00,311
You really think I'm tough?
1476
01:14:01,020 --> 01:14:03,940
Well, no. Not now
you said that.
1477
01:14:04,231 --> 01:14:07,193
Boom, explosion, shrapnel.
1478
01:14:07,276 --> 01:14:08,694
Legend.
1479
01:14:09,737 --> 01:14:11,530
Her name is Nan
ALL: Yeah!
1480
01:14:11,614 --> 01:14:13,074
-And she is lairy
-Yeah!
1481
01:14:13,199 --> 01:14:14,867
-She dropped a pill
-Yeah!
1482
01:14:14,951 --> 01:14:16,285
-And jumped a ferry
-Yeah!
1483
01:14:16,369 --> 01:14:17,745
Oh.
1484
01:14:18,621 --> 01:14:22,416
Oh. Oh.
1485
01:14:22,625 --> 01:14:25,086
Poor old Mick, Mick, Mick.
1486
01:14:25,169 --> 01:14:26,545
Do you think he'll
be all right in prison?
1487
01:14:27,004 --> 01:14:28,130
Yeah.
1488
01:14:28,547 --> 01:14:30,299
Everyone loves magic.
1489
01:14:31,425 --> 01:14:32,426
It's all right.
1490
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:36,055
Yeah.
1491
01:14:37,223 --> 01:14:38,432
Shall we go home now?
1492
01:14:39,308 --> 01:14:40,601
You're so close, Nan.
1493
01:14:40,685 --> 01:14:41,894
No.
1494
01:14:42,103 --> 01:14:43,437
Let's go home.
1495
01:14:43,521 --> 01:14:44,522
Hmm.
1496
01:14:45,606 --> 01:14:46,774
Chicken shit.
1497
01:14:50,069 --> 01:14:51,404
Touché, son.
1498
01:14:51,862 --> 01:14:52,863
Touché.
1499
01:14:58,035 --> 01:15:00,788
I meant it,
what I said, you know?
1500
01:15:00,871 --> 01:15:01,956
What's that, Nan?
1501
01:15:03,124 --> 01:15:04,333
I am proud of you.
1502
01:15:06,043 --> 01:15:07,378
You remembered saying that?
1503
01:15:08,170 --> 01:15:09,880
Of course I remember.
1504
01:15:11,382 --> 01:15:12,550
Also meant it
1505
01:15:12,633 --> 01:15:15,011
when I blew off in your face.
1506
01:15:15,803 --> 01:15:17,513
-Thanks, Nan.
-Yeah.
1507
01:15:56,343 --> 01:15:58,054
I'll wait here for a bit,
1508
01:15:58,179 --> 01:15:59,930
let you say hello,
1509
01:16:00,014 --> 01:16:01,265
get reacquainted.
1510
01:16:03,726 --> 01:16:04,810
What are you gonna do?
1511
01:16:05,978 --> 01:16:07,188
I've got my crafts, haven't I?
1512
01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:32,273
You've come up and seen me.
1513
01:17:32,898 --> 01:17:34,984
I've come up and seen you.
1514
01:17:35,067 --> 01:17:37,319
You've come up
and seen me, ain't ya?
1515
01:17:38,154 --> 01:17:39,238
I've come up and seen you.
1516
01:17:40,406 --> 01:17:41,824
Well, you are a good girl.
1517
01:17:44,285 --> 01:17:45,786
You look rough.
1518
01:17:46,162 --> 01:17:48,164
-Well, I'm dying.
-Oh.
1519
01:17:48,247 --> 01:17:49,748
Read your letter.
1520
01:17:50,583 --> 01:17:52,334
No need to keep banging on
about it.
1521
01:18:07,850 --> 01:18:10,811
You've landed on your feet,
as usual.
1522
01:18:11,604 --> 01:18:12,855
In what way?
1523
01:18:13,147 --> 01:18:14,607
Living in paradise.
1524
01:18:15,858 --> 01:18:17,568
-Look at this place.
-We've made do.
1525
01:18:17,985 --> 01:18:19,153
Made do?
1526
01:18:20,905 --> 01:18:22,948
Where's Walter, then?
1527
01:18:23,365 --> 01:18:25,367
He's upstairs getting ready.
1528
01:18:25,451 --> 01:18:28,370
I think he's a bit nervous to
see you after all this time.
1529
01:18:28,996 --> 01:18:30,080
So I'm here, then.
1530
01:18:30,998 --> 01:18:32,291
Got what you wanted?
1531
01:18:34,043 --> 01:18:35,711
You want to show me
your perfect life
1532
01:18:35,794 --> 01:18:38,589
in your perfect house
with your perfect man?
1533
01:18:38,672 --> 01:18:41,425
You want me to see all
the things you stole from me,
1534
01:18:41,508 --> 01:18:43,719
SO you can have one
last thrill before you go?
1535
01:18:46,138 --> 01:18:48,224
You always resented me, Nell.
1536
01:18:48,974 --> 01:18:51,060
And all I ever did
was try and look after ya.
1537
01:19:12,790 --> 01:19:14,458
Hello, Joanie.
1538
01:19:17,628 --> 01:19:19,046
Joanie, it's me.
1539
01:19:22,341 --> 01:19:23,550
Say hello to Walter.
1540
01:19:25,469 --> 01:19:26,679
Hmm.
1541
01:19:28,305 --> 01:19:29,640
You...
1542
01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:32,810
It's wonderful to see you.
I've missed you.
1543
01:19:33,894 --> 01:19:35,020
We both have.
1544
01:19:35,729 --> 01:19:37,731
Erm...
1545
01:19:38,691 --> 01:19:39,984
Who is it?
1546
01:19:40,067 --> 01:19:41,277
It's me, Joanie.
1547
01:19:43,112 --> 01:19:45,447
-Who is it?
-Joanie, it's me.
1548
01:19:46,407 --> 01:19:49,118
What? So, erm...
1549
01:19:53,664 --> 01:19:54,957
You look well.
1550
01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:57,209
Hmm.
1551
01:20:00,170 --> 01:20:01,255
How long has this
been going on?
1552
01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:03,465
All our lives.
1553
01:20:03,549 --> 01:20:05,592
We came out here
for some privacy.
1554
01:20:05,676 --> 01:20:09,930
I suppose it wasn't
as accepted as it is now.
1555
01:20:10,347 --> 01:20:12,099
We had to keep ourselves
to ourselves.
1556
01:20:13,642 --> 01:20:15,394
Er, so you
1557
01:20:16,103 --> 01:20:17,313
both wear dresses?
1558
01:20:17,813 --> 01:20:19,398
Yeah, sometimes we share them.
1559
01:20:19,481 --> 01:20:20,983
He has tremendous taste
in fashion.
1560
01:20:21,525 --> 01:20:22,651
Oh, it's...
1561
01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:24,361
"He."
1562
01:20:25,112 --> 01:20:26,488
"He," is it?
1563
01:20:26,572 --> 01:20:27,573
Yep.
1564
01:20:28,365 --> 01:20:30,075
What's, er...
1565
01:20:30,242 --> 01:20:32,786
What's going on? Am I...
Am I having a stroke?
1566
01:20:40,544 --> 01:20:43,422
It's a lot to process,
but it's still me.
1567
01:20:43,547 --> 01:20:46,550
I've just always felt happier
in women's clothing.
1568
01:20:46,633 --> 01:20:48,218
I'm still a man
in every respect.
1569
01:20:49,053 --> 01:20:50,679
If you understand my meaning.
1570
01:20:50,763 --> 01:20:52,014
We have a voracious sex life.
1571
01:20:52,097 --> 01:20:54,183
All right, sailor,
I don't need all the details.
1572
01:20:58,479 --> 01:20:59,813
Well, I've gotta admit,
1573
01:21:01,482 --> 01:21:02,775
I never saw that coming.
1574
01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:04,276
Neither did I.
1575
01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:06,070
Really?
1576
01:21:10,157 --> 01:21:11,200
Is that chiffon
you're wearing?
1577
01:21:22,169 --> 01:21:23,879
Are those buttons
mother of pearl?
1578
01:21:27,007 --> 01:21:28,008
Fair enough.
1579
01:21:30,094 --> 01:21:32,513
So when did you find out
about all this?
1580
01:21:33,013 --> 01:21:34,598
On our wedding night.
1581
01:21:35,516 --> 01:21:37,643
His drawers were frillier
than mine.
1582
01:21:39,353 --> 01:21:40,354
Hmm.
1583
01:22:08,632 --> 01:22:11,301
Look at the size of the shoes.
1584
01:22:15,222 --> 01:22:17,599
They're like boats!
1585
01:22:32,281 --> 01:22:33,824
Oh, I do feel better.
1586
01:22:33,907 --> 01:22:37,119
Oh, that has cheered me up.
I mean, all these years
1587
01:22:37,202 --> 01:22:40,330
I thought you'd been
living the perfect life.
1588
01:22:40,414 --> 01:22:41,748
Little did I know
most of it's
1589
01:22:42,082 --> 01:22:43,584
been spent arguing over
1590
01:22:43,667 --> 01:22:47,754
who looks best in
a feathered muumuu.
1591
01:22:48,380 --> 01:22:49,631
A muumuu!
1592
01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:56,972
Whoo! That can't
have been easy.
1593
01:22:57,473 --> 01:23:00,267
Well, I'm glad you had
a rough ride of it an' all.
1594
01:23:01,143 --> 01:23:03,020
Well, how did you
have a rough ride?
1595
01:23:03,103 --> 01:23:06,398
You were with Terry. He was
your soulmate, wasn't he?
1596
01:23:06,982 --> 01:23:08,984
We all thought
you were meant to be.
1597
01:23:09,067 --> 01:23:12,905
Terry? Terry?
1598
01:24:51,712 --> 01:24:53,297
I never realised.
1599
01:24:56,383 --> 01:24:57,676
It's always the way,
though, innit?
1600
01:24:59,636 --> 01:25:02,180
You don't appreciate what
you've had till it's gone.
1601
01:25:04,349 --> 01:25:06,393
He was a wonderful man.
1602
01:25:08,395 --> 01:25:09,730
My Terry.
1603
01:25:11,773 --> 01:25:13,984
He loved me so much.
1604
01:25:16,612 --> 01:25:18,405
Obsessed with my arsehole.
1605
01:25:19,448 --> 01:25:22,242
But, other than that,
a proper gent.
1606
01:25:23,076 --> 01:25:24,077
Ah.
1607
01:25:25,162 --> 01:25:27,164
Hello?
1608
01:25:28,290 --> 01:25:30,959
Oh, here's me grandson.
1609
01:25:31,043 --> 01:25:32,711
He's drove me all this way.
1610
01:25:32,794 --> 01:25:34,129
Oh, he's a good boy.
1611
01:25:34,212 --> 01:25:35,797
-Is it all right if I come in?
-Come in.
1612
01:25:35,881 --> 01:25:37,132
Come and meet
your auntie.
1613
01:25:37,215 --> 01:25:38,216
Oh.
1614
01:25:39,509 --> 01:25:42,387
Oh, I do love
a corduroy collar.
1615
01:25:43,847 --> 01:25:45,015
Thanks.
1616
01:25:53,815 --> 01:25:54,983
Lovely to meet you.
1617
01:26:05,202 --> 01:26:07,412
Look how big
your hat is there.
1618
01:26:09,790 --> 01:26:12,793
"Our Life Through A Series Of
Gorgeous Outfits". All right.
1619
01:26:12,918 --> 01:26:16,088
Oh, very nice.
Wear it well, don't ya?
1620
01:26:16,171 --> 01:26:17,589
-Oh...
-Yeah, that's very, er...
1621
01:26:17,673 --> 01:26:19,800
-That was new year.
-Yeah. Nice.
1622
01:26:19,925 --> 01:26:21,051
It's very, innit, eh?
1623
01:26:21,134 --> 01:26:22,719
Here's his power dressing.
1624
01:26:22,803 --> 01:26:24,388
-Mmm.
-Innit, eh?
1625
01:26:24,471 --> 01:26:26,807
He's got a cape on that suit.
1626
01:26:26,890 --> 01:26:27,891
It's a scarf.
1627
01:26:27,974 --> 01:26:29,685
Oh, it's a scarf.
Do excuse me.
1628
01:26:29,768 --> 01:26:31,478
It was a scarf.
1629
01:26:31,561 --> 01:26:33,397
Yeah, it's, it's a pashmina.
1630
01:26:33,480 --> 01:26:37,567
Oh, a pashmina, this one, see?
Have you met?
1631
01:26:47,244 --> 01:26:48,245
I'll give you a minute.
1632
01:27:00,257 --> 01:27:02,259
I hated what Nell did to us.
1633
01:27:03,093 --> 01:27:05,512
Took me a long time to forgive
her for keeping us apart.
1634
01:27:05,595 --> 01:27:06,596
Well...
1635
01:27:07,097 --> 01:27:08,348
She stole our lives.
1636
01:27:08,432 --> 01:27:10,308
-I mean...
-But she...
1637
01:27:11,435 --> 01:27:12,686
She changed.
1638
01:27:14,229 --> 01:27:15,897
She regretted hurting you.
1639
01:27:15,981 --> 01:27:17,649
And I grew to love her.
1640
01:27:20,444 --> 01:27:23,363
So maybe I ended up with
the right sister, after all.
1641
01:27:26,408 --> 01:27:27,409
Did I?
1642
01:27:28,910 --> 01:27:30,704
100%.
1643
01:27:31,496 --> 01:27:33,206
Hands up, I don't think
1644
01:27:33,290 --> 01:27:35,584
I could have got on board
with any of this.
1645
01:27:39,880 --> 01:27:40,922
You really are marvellous.
1646
01:28:09,701 --> 01:28:10,744
I don't know what to say.
1647
01:28:12,412 --> 01:28:13,455
Then don't.
1648
01:28:16,249 --> 01:28:17,709
You conniving old 'ore.
1649
01:28:18,877 --> 01:28:20,629
You miserable old shithouse.
1650
01:28:24,299 --> 01:28:26,384
Joanie, I just
want you to know...
1651
01:28:26,468 --> 01:28:27,469
Yeah.
1652
01:28:29,471 --> 01:28:30,555
Me, too.
1653
01:28:47,572 --> 01:28:48,949
You okay, Nan?
1654
01:28:50,492 --> 01:28:51,701
I will be.
1655
01:28:54,663 --> 01:28:56,289
We're in trouble, aren't we?
1656
01:28:56,373 --> 01:28:58,792
Like, really serious
criminal trouble?
1657
01:29:00,752 --> 01:29:01,962
Nah.
1658
01:29:03,421 --> 01:29:05,715
All's fair in love and war.
1659
01:29:08,802 --> 01:29:11,221
Come on, son, let's go home.
1660
01:29:30,115 --> 01:29:32,659
Thank you, Arsemunch!
Good effort, son.
1661
01:29:32,742 --> 01:29:35,662
Love you, Nan!
1662
01:29:36,121 --> 01:29:37,539
Well,
that turned out to be
1663
01:29:37,622 --> 01:29:40,125
a very multi-layered
road trip.
1664
01:29:40,208 --> 01:29:41,918
You'll have a field day
with your cartoons.
1665
01:29:51,636 --> 01:29:54,055
Mick! Mick! Mick!
Mick! Mick!
1666
01:29:54,139 --> 01:29:55,140
Ta-da!
1667
01:29:56,224 --> 01:29:57,267
Whoo!
1668
01:29:57,392 --> 01:29:58,435
It's not over!
1669
01:29:59,603 --> 01:30:00,604
See ya!
1670
01:30:21,207 --> 01:30:22,584
Oh, sweetheart.
1671
01:30:23,084 --> 01:30:24,544
-You're back!
-Hi!
1672
01:30:24,628 --> 01:30:26,463
Oh, do join us.
1673
01:30:29,674 --> 01:30:35,472
What a fucking liberty!
1674
01:30:58,745 --> 01:31:01,915
All together now!