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00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:07,707
[quirky music]
2
00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:11,144
♪ ♪
3
00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:21,221
- I used to think
that I excited him,
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00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:22,889
that I completed him.
5
00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:24,024
But he was lost.
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[laughs]
So was his manhood.
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[dramatic music playing]
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♪ ♪
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- ♪ Look at this, Melvin ♪
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♪ Look at this little-ass boy ♪
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00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:39,739
♪ Snatching up a Black queen ♪
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00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:41,441
♪ Then treating her
like a toy ♪
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00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:44,411
♪ He's got a meal
but acting like she's a snack ♪
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♪ She calls him out,
and he deflects ♪
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♪ Imagine that ♪
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♪ ♪
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- ♪ He's not a king,
he's a little-ass boy ♪
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00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,788
♪ Can't tell the truth,
can't experience any joy ♪
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00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,457
♪ Women, if you meet him,
you better run ♪
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00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,225
♪ He'll waste your time ♪
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♪ And he won't even
be able to come ♪
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[laughter]
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[applause]
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- Hey, babe,
you wanna know what the key
25
00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,475
to really great celery is?
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00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,545
- What is it?
- It's gotta be hard and stiff.
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And it just can't wilt
under pressure.
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- Okay, you know what? I--
- [laughs]
29
00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:25,952
- Why did we even come to this?
Why would she invite me?
30
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- Isn't that obvious, babe?
It's just to embarrass you.
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You want me to spell it out?
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♪ You ain't a king,
you a little-ass boy ♪
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00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:32,592
♪ With a tiny little pee-pee
and a little-ass-- ♪
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00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:33,793
- Marcus.
- Hey.
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00:01:33,893 --> 00:01:35,462
Hey.
- Thanks so much for coming.
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00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:37,831
- Yeah, no, thanks so much
for inviting me.
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00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,799
Oh, and congrats on your
"New York" mag write-up.
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You must be thrilled.
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- I am, I am. Take that, Lin.
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[laughter]
- Ho-ho, got him!
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00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:48,475
- This is my boyfriend, Ben.
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00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:50,810
- Nice to meet you.
This is my girlfriend, Mia.
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- Hi.
- Hey, I loved your play.
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It was very illuminating.
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- Illuminating of what?
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- Oh.
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Well, Mia was just saying
that she appreciated
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how you could take
our relationship
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00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:08,495
and turn it into art.
50
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,296
- Okay, wait.
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00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:13,500
Marcus, you didn't think
that was about you, right?
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'Cause I wrote that
during the pandemic.
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It was purely a product
of my imagination.
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- She did.
And it was. I was there.
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- [crunches]
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- We should make the rounds.
- Yeah.
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- My friend from A24 is here.
He's excited to meet you.
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- Well, Yahtzee.
- Okay.
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[laughter]
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Nice seeing you, Marcus.
- Yeah.
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- And good luck, Mia.
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- What?
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00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:43,363
- Good luck.
Just a little luck.
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00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:44,697
- Oh.
- Come on, babe.
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- [chuckles]
Oop!
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Good luck to you too, bitch.
- Yo, wow.
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00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:50,837
What?
- That was crazy.
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That was crazy.
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[humming]
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♪ Little-ass drink
for my little-ass boy ♪
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♪ And my little-ass drink
for my little-ass boy ♪
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♪ And he can't even come,
he can't even come ♪
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♪ He got a little weenie
and he can't even come ♪
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Here, I'm sorry.
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That was the last one,
I promise.
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You got reamed, huh?
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- Yeah, I got worked.
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I mean, you do realize
that you broke us up, right?
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- What?
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00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:20,567
- Remember that time
we ran into each other
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00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:21,734
when I was moving a car
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to the other side
of the street?
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- Oh, listen, baby.
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I can't help it
that you just be, like,
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breaking up with people
whenever I walk by.
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- Oh, well,
maybe I should write
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a little shitty play about it,
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see if I can't figure that out.
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- Don't be mad
'cause Ola's profiting
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off of her bitterness.
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- Oh, off-off-Broadway
turns a profit?
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00:03:38,117 --> 00:03:39,519
- Ouch. Wow.
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00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:41,854
You are spicy tonight.
This is crazy.
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- I know, I know,
I'm bitter, I'm bitter.
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'Cause I ain't got no job.
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I'm out here freelance editing
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these shitty manuscripts.
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And I cannot tell folks
that they are shitty
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00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:54,100
and that I wrote
better stuff in high school
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because I need to earn.
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[sighs]
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00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:00,607
- Why don't you just
write something?
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00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:05,745
Why don't you write a book?
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00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:11,317
- Yeah, pissed-off Black man
writes stinging takedown
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00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:15,989
of the racist white
publishing industry.
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00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,457
- Yeah.
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00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:20,460
- I don't know, I mean, yeah,
there's something there.
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00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,228
- Yeah, but you're into it.
I can tell.
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You're, like,
thinking about it...
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- Babe, babe--
- Calculating.
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- Baby, I appreciate
your enthusiasm,
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but I need an income.
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We're talking about saving up
for a bigger place,
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having a kid,
you're still helping your mom.
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- Look, as far as the money,
I can hold us down for a bit.
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You don't have
to worry about it.
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The big question is,
what do you have to say?
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- All right.
I mean, I do have a lot to say.
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- I know, you got
a lot of little-ass thoughts?
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I'm kidding. I had to.
It's like you set me up.
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But then what the fuck
are we talking about?
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Then say it. Write it.
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- I love you so much.
- I love you too.
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- Hey, yo, marry me.
- What?
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- Marry me.
Come on, you know you wanna.
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- "Come on, you know
you wanna marry me?"
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What?
What are you saying?
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- I think I said it.
- Where's my ring?
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00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,356
Hmm?
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00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:24,824
Well, you didn't get down
on no knee or nothing.
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00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,859
- You know what?
We can--we can buy one.
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00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:29,629
Not an expensive one,
but a nice one.
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00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:31,164
- Mm-hmm.
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00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:36,803
- And I do want to build
a life with you.
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00:05:36,869 --> 00:05:41,341
I want, you know,
a house and a kid.
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00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:45,044
I want all that stuff
with you, so...
137
00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:47,213
[soft music]
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00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:48,715
What do you think?
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00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,985
- I think that's cool.
I think I want it too.
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00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:56,489
- You do?
- I do.
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00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:59,592
- [cheers]
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00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:05,665
♪ ♪
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00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:08,234
[microwave beeping]
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00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:10,269
- Marcus?
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00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,739
Marcus.
- Oh, shit. Okay.
146
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:17,877
Baby.
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00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:20,279
- Hey, hey, here you are.
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00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,849
- Hi, okay, can you get
some hot sauce too, please?
149
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:25,385
- Mia. Mia, that food
is hot enough as it is.
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00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:26,753
I don't wanna hurt the baby.
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00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:29,722
- I am so fucking sick
of being pregnant.
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00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,090
I gotta get this baby outta me.
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00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:33,126
- Kind of gonna miss it.
- Yeah.
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00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,861
That's because the longer
I'm pregnant,
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00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:36,396
the longer you get to take
to finish that book.
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00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:38,598
- I'm almost done.
You hear that, peanut?
157
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:40,199
Daddy's gonna be an author.
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00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:41,434
- Ow, shit!
159
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,035
- What? Contraction?
160
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,704
- I don't know--I-I hope so.
- Okay.
161
00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:47,106
- Oh, my God, I am not ready
to have this baby.
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00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:49,075
- Okay, easy, it's okay.
It's okay, we got this.
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00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,110
- I think it only
gets worse from here.
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00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:54,781
narrator: In the span
of the next 26 hours,
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00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:59,285
Marcus and Mia became
Marcus, Mia, baby Audre,
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00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:01,988
and a half-finished
manuscript.
167
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:05,958
[gentle piano music]
168
00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:07,627
- I would hope so.
- This face.
169
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:09,128
Ooh, she's the cutest.
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00:07:09,228 --> 00:07:11,631
- Yeah, it is so nice
seeing her from this angle
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00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:13,232
in somebody else's arms.
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00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:14,734
She's a lot.
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00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:16,135
- I'ma post this
with no comment,
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00:07:16,235 --> 00:07:17,737
see all the fucked-up shit
people gotta say.
175
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:19,806
- You gotta cover her face
if you doing that.
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00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,340
- [laughs]
- Uh-huh.
177
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,142
- I guess we're just
a couple of breeders now, huh?
178
00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:24,477
- Yeah.
I've been a breeder, man.
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00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:25,812
I'm trying to put as many
Black folks
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00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:27,313
on the planet
as I possibly can.
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00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:29,916
- [chuckles]
I mean, to be honest, man,
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00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:31,317
I--[sighs]
183
00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:33,152
I didn't think
we'd get pregnant this quick.
184
00:07:33,252 --> 00:07:35,822
I thought we had
6 to 12 months at least.
185
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:37,323
- Yeah. You all right?
186
00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:38,925
You're not getting any sleep,
and I can tell.
187
00:07:38,991 --> 00:07:41,661
- Yeah, I'm not, I'm not.
I'm not, but I'm fine.
188
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:42,995
You know,
we're getting some help.
189
00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:44,664
- Mm, like a Roomba?
- No, man.
190
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:46,499
We're not getting a Roomba.
We're getting a nanny.
191
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,634
- Oh, shit. That's fancy.
- Yeah.
192
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:51,337
- Bro, you sure y'all can,
you know--
193
00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:52,505
y'all can afford that?
194
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:55,808
- Yes, yeah.
We can afford it.
195
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,543
All right, come on, man.
Don't look at me like that.
196
00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,445
It's just--I'll be pulling
my weight in no time.
197
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:01,180
This is just until
I finish the book.
198
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,649
- All right. You know what?
Yeah, man, I respect it, bro.
199
00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:05,351
Black man breaking them
generational curses,
200
00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:06,686
hiring help.
201
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:08,354
We don't never get help.
We need our help, man.
202
00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:11,023
Get your help, but make sure
she not fine as hell.
203
00:08:11,123 --> 00:08:12,558
You don't want no fine--
- You know what?
204
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,560
The nanny's gonna be
whoever takes $20 an hour.
205
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,062
- $20 an hour?
- Yeah.
206
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,563
- She is me.
207
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,365
First of all, look,
y'all getting bank like that?
208
00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:21,234
Listen, Jaleesa,
bring my client to me, please.
209
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,236
I will burp everybody
in this house for $20 an hour.
210
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,037
You know what I'm saying?
[laughter]
211
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,509
- Hey, babe, are we sure
about this nanny thing?
212
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,178
- We fucking better be.
213
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,046
I'm going back to work
tomorrow.
214
00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:36,849
- Well, I-I don't know,
I was just thinking, like,
215
00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:38,217
I could watch the baby.
216
00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:40,486
And I could just write
during her nap.
217
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:42,054
- Wait, what?
- What?
218
00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:44,056
- Did you not learn anything
the past two months?
219
00:08:44,156 --> 00:08:47,360
Are you insane?
[baby whimpering]
220
00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:54,166
- [whispering] Okay,
but I just think that, like,
221
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,568
it's really expensive,
222
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:57,370
and I've been worried
about bonding time.
223
00:08:57,436 --> 00:09:01,240
- Baby, we have nothing
to feel guilty about.
224
00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:03,409
Right, you and me, right here?
225
00:09:03,509 --> 00:09:06,779
We are in
the fucking trenches together.
226
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:09,348
Besides, white people have been
using nannies for centuries.
227
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:10,750
They don't feel no guilt.
228
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,685
I once saw this episode
of "Downton Abbey"
229
00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:14,754
where Lady Mary straight up
had a newborn son.
230
00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:16,556
She patted him on his head,
left the room,
231
00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:19,926
and didn't see his white ass
for, like, three full seasons.
232
00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:22,895
- Okay, but--so we're
slightly better parents
233
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:25,097
than a duchess
from, like, the 1920s?
234
00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:27,233
- No, baby,
she's not a duchess.
235
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,434
- Okay, well,
I don't know her rank.
236
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:29,902
I didn't watch "Downton Abbey."
237
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:31,537
- Okay, well, I told you
to watch it with me.
238
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:32,772
- It's a classist show.
- Okay, well, whatever.
239
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:34,273
- I have a hard time with that.
240
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:36,208
- Everything's--
okay, you know what?
241
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:38,477
I know this is hard.
242
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,213
Okay, I don't wanna leave
Audre either.
243
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,482
But we--you know,
we worked really hard
244
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,985
to create that budget
for six months
245
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,421
so you could work on your book.
246
00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:50,923
And if you don't finish it,
247
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:52,825
I will fucking cut you.
248
00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:56,295
All right, my love?
- All right, all right.
249
00:09:56,395 --> 00:09:57,763
All right.
250
00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:59,065
- Please turn
the fucking light off.
251
00:09:59,131 --> 00:10:00,666
- All right.
Good night.
252
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,139
[baby crying]
253
00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:09,675
Oh, there we go.
There's my princess.
254
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,310
- Yeah, my little queen.
255
00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:14,780
- Here we go.
[baby giggles]
256
00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:15,982
- Wow.
257
00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:18,150
Terry, you're like a one-woman
258
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,119
Indy 500 pit crew over there.
259
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,321
I see why your rates
are so premium.
260
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:25,358
- My rates are normal.
261
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:28,294
- Yeah. No, no, I...
262
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,430
Didn't mean it like that.
263
00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:36,168
Um, all right, well, I'll be
at my desk if you need me.
264
00:10:36,268 --> 00:10:37,837
- I won't.
265
00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:40,006
[funky music]
266
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,207
- Okay.
267
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:48,381
♪ ♪
268
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:14,573
narrator:
Back in kindergarten,
269
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,208
Marcus had won a class prize
270
00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:17,843
for a picture book
he'd written
271
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:20,413
entitled "Big Dog Digs."
272
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,649
But subsequently,
a fear of failure had managed
273
00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:26,552
to convince him out of
the dream of being a writer,
274
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:28,721
a dream he had put
on the shelf
275
00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:31,357
like it was just
some paperback.
276
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:34,226
- Oh, oh, I was gonna do those.
277
00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:35,695
- It's no problem.
278
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,731
narrator: Now Marcus had been
working on his tale
279
00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:41,333
of the dark, oppressive world
of publishing
280
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,169
for just shy of a year.
281
00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:45,004
And by the time he finished,
282
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:48,007
whether it was good or bad
was no longer for him to say.
283
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:51,877
But whatever it was,
it was something.
284
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:53,279
- Audre!
285
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,114
- Shh.
286
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:59,452
- [whispering]
Daddy finished his book.
287
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:10,296
And thanks for reading this
so fast, man.
288
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:13,199
I gotta say, I really
appreciate you taking the time.
289
00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:14,900
- Oh, no problem, man.
It was my pleasure.
290
00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:16,268
- Yeah.
291
00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:19,472
So, um, yeah, you know,
I know it's not perfect.
292
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:23,609
But I, you know--
I gotta say I'm feeling good.
293
00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:25,144
- And you should feel good.
294
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,046
You got it done
with a new baby, that's crazy.
295
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:30,382
- Yeah. Thanks, man.
- It's a solid first draft.
296
00:12:31,884 --> 00:12:36,088
- Okay. Okay.
Uh, what do you got?
297
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:38,491
- I love the premise. I get it.
298
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:41,560
Black guy goes crazy
in a white work space.
299
00:12:41,627 --> 00:12:44,463
Very Kanye at the TMZ office.
300
00:12:44,563 --> 00:12:46,632
Uh, it's a lot of good stuff
in there, bro.
301
00:12:46,732 --> 00:12:49,602
It's just,
I don't feel you in it.
302
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:51,637
There's not enough you in this.
303
00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:54,807
- Okay.
304
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:57,276
- I mean, we can get it there.
I know you can get it there.
305
00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:58,911
But what I will say is,
306
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:01,647
you have
a really nice manuscript
307
00:13:01,747 --> 00:13:03,649
that could be
a really good book
308
00:13:03,749 --> 00:13:05,351
if you stop fucking playing.
309
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,320
- Oh, wow, wow. Okay.
310
00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:10,623
- Come on, that was my best
Marcus Watkins impression.
311
00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:12,792
- You nailed it. You nailed it.
312
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,460
- But I will say
it does feel good
313
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:16,262
to be on this side
of the table for once.
314
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:17,663
- Yeah, I bet.
- Yeah, it feels great.
315
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:19,498
And I also--
I'm paying for this.
316
00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:21,500
- [laughs]
317
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,170
narrator: There was a reason
Marcus had been an editor
318
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:25,704
and not a writer.
319
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,541
This moment felt
as if every note he had given
320
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,677
had come back to haunt him.
321
00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:35,981
And as the sea of red ink
bled into Marcus' eyes,
322
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,449
he decided to close them
323
00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:40,519
and worry
about what to do later.
324
00:13:40,619 --> 00:13:42,521
- [sighs]
325
00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:44,657
- Okay, Mia, see you tomorrow.
326
00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:46,392
- I'll see you later.
327
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,028
[sighs] Marcus
- Hey, y'all wearing coats?
328
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:51,130
- What?
- Hmm?
329
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:53,165
narrator:
Worrying about it later
330
00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:56,802
turned into ignoring it
for several weeks.
331
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:58,304
[phone buzzes]
332
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:02,808
- Can I sh--
333
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:06,478
I am shitting, Mia.
I am shitting.
334
00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:09,582
Whoa, hang on.
Mia, what the--
335
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:10,916
- I'm sorry, but Terry's sick.
336
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,551
I need you to take
the baby today.
337
00:14:12,651 --> 00:14:14,320
- Okay, is there any way
you can work from home today?
338
00:14:14,386 --> 00:14:15,487
I need to get
some writing done.
339
00:14:15,554 --> 00:14:16,889
- Baby, are you serious?
340
00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:18,657
It is not gonna magically
come together today,
341
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:20,326
especially while you're
dropping bombs in the toilet.
342
00:14:20,392 --> 00:14:22,061
I have to go to work,
or we'll be fucked.
343
00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:23,529
I love you.
- Love you too.
344
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,731
- Jesus, why did I look
in the mirror?
345
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,701
narrator: As Marcus
pushed his child
346
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:30,936
through the American Museum
of Natural History
347
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:34,673
on a Friday afternoon,
he couldn't help but feel
348
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:36,909
a little sorry for himself.
349
00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:40,379
- And he wore zebra pants.
[laughs]
350
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:41,847
narrator: He was a failure,
351
00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:45,050
both professionally
and personally,
352
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:47,720
a little-ass boy after all.
353
00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:50,723
[mellow music]
354
00:14:50,789 --> 00:14:54,293
♪ ♪
355
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,128
- Marcus? Hi.
356
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:58,931
- Darby, yo, hey! What's up?
- Hi, how are you?
357
00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:00,599
Oh, I saw this sweet
single dad,
358
00:15:00,699 --> 00:15:02,468
and then it's you.
Oh, this is Theo.
359
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,370
- Hey, Theo.
- This is Marcus.
360
00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:05,704
- Hey.
- Oh, this must be Audre.
361
00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:07,072
- Yeah.
- Oh, it's nice to see her
362
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:08,474
without an emoji over her face.
363
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,609
- Yeah, yeah.
Mia's pretty protective.
364
00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:12,378
- No, I've been meaning
to text her, actually,
365
00:15:12,444 --> 00:15:14,947
but I figured saying,
"Hi, show me your baby's face,"
366
00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:17,316
that would be aggressive.
- Yeah, yeah. A little bit.
367
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,651
- How are you guys?
368
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,320
- Uh, you know, good, good.
Mostly.
369
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,621
- Yeah? Yeah?
- Yeah.
370
00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:24,623
Yeah. How's...Grant?
371
00:15:24,723 --> 00:15:26,425
- Grant, yes. Good. Same.
372
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:29,461
You know, it's--
every day's an adventure.
373
00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:31,130
- Oh, okay.
374
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:33,565
So once you become a parent,
it never goes back to normal.
375
00:15:33,632 --> 00:15:36,969
- No, no, God,
that would be nice, but no.
376
00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:42,074
Hang in there.
It's--it is all worth it.
377
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,310
- All right.
378
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:45,577
- Hi, baby.
- Hey.
379
00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:48,347
- Hi.
- Hey, hey.
380
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,015
- Oh, sorry.
381
00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:53,819
♪ ♪
382
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:55,688
What's all this?
383
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:59,692
- I just wanted to show
my appreciation.
384
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:05,497
You know, how lucky I am.
385
00:16:07,599 --> 00:16:10,336
I've been having
a really hard time
386
00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:12,171
ever since Trey read the book.
387
00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:15,274
He really got in my head.
388
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:18,510
Like, what the fuck
am I even doing?
389
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:21,347
- You're writing a book.
That's what you're doing.
390
00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:26,819
- Well, I mean,
his big note was
391
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:30,990
that I'm not in the book,
392
00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:34,893
and he's right.
393
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,696
I'm not.
I don't want that guy in there.
394
00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:41,467
I wrote a character
that I wanted to be, you know?
395
00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:46,038
And it--
it just didn't ring true.
396
00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:52,044
'Cause I'm hiding.
I'm always hiding.
397
00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:56,515
I was hiding in editing, but...
398
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,884
maybe that's all
I'm cut out for.
399
00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:01,887
- No. Fuck that.
You hated editing.
400
00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:04,323
Baby, how are you
gonna fix this book?
401
00:17:05,991 --> 00:17:07,226
- I don't know.
402
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:10,729
I guess I could do
that real scary shit
403
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:14,933
and write a guy like me.
404
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,870
Complicated softy
prone to juvenile fuckups.
405
00:17:17,936 --> 00:17:19,571
- [chuckles]
406
00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:21,507
You ain't that complicated.
407
00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:27,413
Look, baby, I know
that this is really hard.
408
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:29,448
I do.
409
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:32,051
But you gotta keep pushing.
410
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,788
- Okay, I will.
411
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,256
narrator: And he did.
412
00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:39,758
In three months,
the book was finished.
413
00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:43,529
And a year after that,
it was published.
414
00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:44,863
- Thanks, man.
415
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:52,037
♪ ♪
416
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,453
Hello! I'm home.
417
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:12,324
- Baby, hi.
- Hey, baby.
418
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,660
Mwah. Mm!
419
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:17,596
- How was your flight?
- It was good.
420
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:20,132
- It was good?
- Yeah. Where's Audre?
421
00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:21,600
- Terry just got her
into the bath.
422
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,469
- Oh, I'm gonna go say hi.
- Okay, wait.
423
00:18:23,569 --> 00:18:25,003
But don't rile her up.
424
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,472
And do not give her
any of those airplane cookies.
425
00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:27,940
Okay?
She lost her mind last time.
426
00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:30,275
- Oh, I would never.
- Mm-hmm.
427
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:33,145
- And why aren't you dressed?
We gotta get going pretty soon.
428
00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:35,948
- Because I've been
a single parent for ten days?
429
00:18:36,014 --> 00:18:37,483
- Right, right,
I'm just nervous
430
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:38,817
because the "Times" reporter
is gonna be there.
431
00:18:38,917 --> 00:18:40,119
I mean, do you not wanna go?
432
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:41,453
'Cause, I mean,
you don't have to.
433
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,088
- No, I want to go.
434
00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:44,256
- Okay.
435
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,493
Thanks, babe.
We're gonna have a great time.
436
00:18:54,766 --> 00:18:56,101
[baby laughs]
437
00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:58,504
My baby!
438
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:03,675
- Honestly, he wouldn't even be
a writer if it wasn't for me.
439
00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:07,045
- Eh...damn,
that's kind of true, actually.
440
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,548
Trey was very helpful.
- Ah, you heard it.
441
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:10,782
Make sure that makes
the profile.
442
00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:13,352
Trey Lang made Marcus Watkins.
443
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:15,387
- Whoa, sound bite.
444
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:19,191
- As did my wife,
who worked her ass off
445
00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:21,627
and allowed me to be
a very unemployed writer
446
00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:22,895
for two years.
447
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,062
- Thank you.
Yeah, we had a daughter.
448
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,697
- Really sweet.
- We--
449
00:19:25,797 --> 00:19:27,499
- How did your friendship
change now that you're peers?
450
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:30,702
- Well, first off,
Marcus talks way more shit now.
451
00:19:30,802 --> 00:19:32,304
[laughter]
- I love you two.
452
00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:35,841
- Yeah, me too.
I'm gonna re-up on some eggnog.
453
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,643
You guys want anything?
- Oh, no, I'm good.
454
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:40,245
- Okay.
- I'll take a scotch and soda.
455
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,847
- Okay.
456
00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:47,753
[sighs]
457
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,222
[rock music playing]
458
00:19:50,322 --> 00:19:53,192
- ♪ Merry Christmas, I don't
want to fight tonight with ♪
459
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,260
♪ Merry Christmas,
I don't want to ♪
460
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,896
- Yeah. Yeah, the book
is really personal.
461
00:19:57,996 --> 00:20:00,566
This next one,
it's a bit of a tonal shift.
462
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:03,035
So it's been sort of a battle.
463
00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:05,037
[Otis Redding's
"Merry Christmas Baby" plays]
464
00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:07,906
- ♪ Merry Christmas, baby ♪
465
00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:09,875
- Can you excuse me
for just one second?
466
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,543
- Of course. Of course.
467
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:14,246
♪ ♪
468
00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:17,015
- ♪ Bought me a diamond ring
for Christmas ♪
469
00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:19,885
♪ I feel like I'm
in paradise ♪
470
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:23,622
♪ ♪
471
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:27,626
♪ I feel mighty fine, y'all ♪
472
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,394
- Hey.
- Hi.
473
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:34,399
- Is everything okay?
474
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,903
- I just needed a minute.
475
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:43,075
- Look, I...appreciate you.
476
00:20:43,141 --> 00:20:45,477
- Really?
- Yes. Yes.
477
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:48,380
I know you're tired
and I dragged you out
478
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:52,718
to this party,
and I shouldn't have, and...
479
00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:55,821
- Babe, it's just been a long
ten days with you gone,
480
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:57,289
and now you're back
481
00:20:57,389 --> 00:20:58,657
and you're diving
right back into this shit.
482
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,225
- I know. I'm sorry.
483
00:21:00,292 --> 00:21:01,827
And I...
484
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,463
I guess this is--
485
00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:06,732
this is all really new to me.
486
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:10,669
And I guess I'm just scared
that if I don't say yes
487
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,904
to everything, that...
488
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:16,642
It'll all just go away.
489
00:21:16,742 --> 00:21:19,678
- Listen, baby,
you're doing really well.
490
00:21:21,913 --> 00:21:23,915
You just gotta trust it.
491
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:30,188
- You know what?
- What?
492
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,624
- Let's get
the fuck outta here.
493
00:21:32,691 --> 00:21:35,127
- Really?
- Yeah.
494
00:21:35,193 --> 00:21:37,362
Yeah, how late can Terry stay?
495
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:39,831
- How much are you willing
to pay?
496
00:21:39,931 --> 00:21:43,168
- So wait, wait, wait, wait,
she bought the purse--
497
00:21:43,268 --> 00:21:45,203
the purse--
a first class ticket?
498
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:48,140
- Yes, babe, 'cause she said
it was cheaper
499
00:21:48,206 --> 00:21:51,009
to buy an unaccompanied
minor ticket than to ship it.
500
00:21:51,109 --> 00:21:54,646
And then somewhere
in between Dubai and New York,
501
00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:56,181
that shit went missing.
502
00:21:56,281 --> 00:21:57,883
- No, it didn't go missing.
503
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,619
It went home
with a flight attendant.
504
00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:01,887
- I know!
505
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:04,623
So now it's, like,
an Interpol situation,
506
00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:06,358
and it's, like,
detectives and shit.
507
00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:07,959
It's crazy.
508
00:22:08,026 --> 00:22:10,662
And honestly,
my job is so stupid.
509
00:22:10,729 --> 00:22:15,334
It's stupid.
And I think I wanna quit. I do.
510
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,569
[R&B music playing]
511
00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:19,638
- Yeah, fuck it.
Quit then.
512
00:22:21,139 --> 00:22:23,208
- Really?
- Yeah.
513
00:22:23,308 --> 00:22:26,912
Yeah. I mean, we're doing okay.
I think I got us for a while.
514
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,480
And nothing's worth
that kind of stress.
515
00:22:28,547 --> 00:22:30,248
I think you should quit
that motherfucker.
516
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,750
- All right.
I'm gonna quit my job.
517
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:32,884
- Yeah?
518
00:22:32,984 --> 00:22:34,519
- I'm gonna quit
my fucking job.
519
00:22:34,586 --> 00:22:36,054
- Let's quit your fucking job.
- Let's celebrate.
520
00:22:36,154 --> 00:22:37,389
Let's do some fucking shots.
521
00:22:37,489 --> 00:22:39,157
- Let's do some fucking shots.
- Yeah.
522
00:22:39,224 --> 00:22:40,726
- Let's do some shots.
- Some fucking shots.
523
00:22:40,826 --> 00:22:42,160
- Damn, okay, all right.
524
00:22:42,227 --> 00:22:43,562
[as Buffalo Bill]
Excuse me, can we get
525
00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:45,397
two shots of vodka, please?
526
00:22:45,497 --> 00:22:46,732
- It's Buffalo Bill.
527
00:22:46,832 --> 00:22:49,167
- I think she's a vodka person.
- Oh, no.
528
00:22:49,234 --> 00:22:51,236
- ♪ If you wanna go
and get high with me ♪
529
00:22:51,336 --> 00:22:52,904
♪ Smoke an L
in the back of the Benz-E ♪
530
00:22:53,004 --> 00:22:54,339
- Oh, okay.
531
00:22:54,406 --> 00:22:56,608
- ♪ Oh,
why must I feel this way? ♪
532
00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:59,077
both:
♪ Hey, must be the money! ♪
533
00:22:59,177 --> 00:23:01,079
- We got a babysitter.
534
00:23:01,179 --> 00:23:03,248
- So we gonna get lit up!
- Whoo!
535
00:23:03,348 --> 00:23:05,283
- ♪ You should feel
the impact, shop on plastic ♪
536
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:06,952
- Let's do another one.
Do another one.
537
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,687
Do another one.
- You!
538
00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:10,622
- ♪ Watch me as I gas
that 4 dot 6 Range ♪
539
00:23:10,722 --> 00:23:13,258
both:
♪ Hey, must be the money! ♪
540
00:23:13,358 --> 00:23:14,960
- ♪ If you wanna go
and get high with me ♪
541
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,795
♪ Smoke an L in the back
of the Benz-E ♪
542
00:23:16,895 --> 00:23:20,365
♪ Oh,
why must I feel this way? ♪
543
00:23:20,432 --> 00:23:22,100
♪ Hey, must be the money ♪
544
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,202
♪ If you wanna go
and take a ride with me ♪
545
00:23:24,269 --> 00:23:26,772
♪ We three-wheeling
in the fo' with the gold D's ♪
546
00:23:26,872 --> 00:23:29,608
♪ Oh,
why do I live this way? ♪
547
00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:31,610
♪ Hey, must be the money! ♪
548
00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:33,445
♪ If you wanna go
and get high with me ♪
549
00:23:33,545 --> 00:23:36,782
♪ Smoke an L
in the back of the Benz-E ♪
550
00:23:36,882 --> 00:23:39,217
- Oh, my--can you please
pull over, please?
551
00:23:39,284 --> 00:23:40,619
- Oh.
- Oh.
552
00:23:40,719 --> 00:23:43,121
- Okay.
- [coughs]
553
00:23:46,057 --> 00:23:49,494
[sobbing]
I'm sorry.
554
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:54,666
narrator: As Marcus wiped
regurgitated eggnog
555
00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:56,802
off the side of the Uber,
556
00:23:56,902 --> 00:24:00,172
he was warmed
by a feeling of being needed.
557
00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:05,143
For he now knew
that being a man
558
00:24:05,243 --> 00:24:07,813
meant stepping up
to the plate not once,
559
00:24:07,913 --> 00:24:09,848
but in perpetuity.
560
00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:12,951
And even just having a plate
to step up to
561
00:24:13,018 --> 00:24:16,288
made him as lucky
as a person can get.
562
00:24:22,260 --> 00:24:24,463
- We're going to go see
Grandma and Grandpa.
563
00:24:24,529 --> 00:24:26,331
- Hey, baby.
564
00:24:26,431 --> 00:24:28,133
Why you bringing
this many coats?
565
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,935
It's Michigan. It's not Russia.
566
00:24:30,001 --> 00:24:32,337
- You know your parents keep it
to 56 degrees in that house.
567
00:24:32,437 --> 00:24:33,638
So layers, babes.
568
00:24:33,705 --> 00:24:35,974
- Oh, come on,
they turn the heat on.
569
00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:37,008
- Do they?
- Yeah.
570
00:24:37,108 --> 00:24:38,176
- Mm-kay. They don't.
571
00:24:38,276 --> 00:24:39,377
[knock at door]
Who is that?
572
00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,646
- Oh, I don't know.
573
00:24:42,948 --> 00:24:46,051
Hey.
- [giggling]
574
00:24:48,353 --> 00:24:49,721
- Donna?
575
00:24:49,821 --> 00:24:51,623
- Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi.
576
00:24:51,690 --> 00:24:53,525
- [laughs]
- Hi.
577
00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:55,460
- Hey, look, Audre,
it's Grandma.
578
00:24:55,527 --> 00:24:58,230
- Oh, come here, my precious.
579
00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:01,533
I could eat you with a spoon.
580
00:25:01,633 --> 00:25:03,068
- What are you doing here?
581
00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:05,036
- Oh, there's been
a slight change of plans.
582
00:25:05,136 --> 00:25:07,205
Mom's gonna watch Audre
for five days
583
00:25:07,305 --> 00:25:10,509
while we go to the Bahamas.
584
00:25:10,575 --> 00:25:12,544
- Wait, what?
- Yeah, yeah.
585
00:25:12,644 --> 00:25:15,847
So you might want to get rid
of some of those coats.
586
00:25:16,815 --> 00:25:19,017
- I'm gonna go get a snack.
Let's go get a snack.
587
00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:21,653
Shall we, baby?
Yes. Let's go get--
588
00:25:22,921 --> 00:25:24,723
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
589
00:25:24,823 --> 00:25:26,658
- Look, babe, we can't go
to the Bahamas right now.
590
00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:28,059
I'm, like, not ready.
591
00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:30,562
I'm, like, not even
waxed appropriately.
592
00:25:30,662 --> 00:25:33,899
- I'll wax you.
[both laugh]
593
00:25:33,999 --> 00:25:35,600
- You didn't book
a Sandals, right?
594
00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,435
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Okay.
595
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:38,737
- It is not a Sandals.
- Good job, baby.
596
00:25:38,837 --> 00:25:42,941
- It's gonna be perfect.
I promise.
597
00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:44,009
You trust me?
598
00:25:44,075 --> 00:25:45,043
- Yes.
- Yeah?
599
00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:46,244
- Yes.
- All right.
600
00:25:46,344 --> 00:25:47,579
- Audre, you might get
601
00:25:47,679 --> 00:25:49,214
a little brother for Christmas.
602
00:25:49,281 --> 00:25:51,216
- Yeah. What? No. No, no.
- Oh, no.
603
00:25:51,283 --> 00:25:52,684
- Mom.
- Uh-uh.
604
00:25:52,751 --> 00:25:53,752
- Whoa.
605
00:25:53,852 --> 00:25:55,086
- Would you like
some champagne?
606
00:25:55,186 --> 00:25:56,421
- Thank you so much.
607
00:25:56,521 --> 00:25:58,523
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Thank you.
608
00:25:59,891 --> 00:26:02,093
- Champagne for you?
609
00:26:02,193 --> 00:26:03,628
- Mm.
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
610
00:26:03,728 --> 00:26:06,097
- Holy shit, babe.
They got a massager on here.
611
00:26:06,197 --> 00:26:08,400
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, that's good shit.
612
00:26:08,466 --> 00:26:10,402
- I'm ruined.
- [laughs]
613
00:26:14,706 --> 00:26:16,074
- What?
614
00:26:17,742 --> 00:26:19,711
- I love you so much.
615
00:26:20,979 --> 00:26:23,114
- Oh, baby, I love you too.
616
00:26:23,214 --> 00:26:24,749
- I'm serious.
617
00:26:24,816 --> 00:26:28,219
Like...growing up,
I never had a good model
618
00:26:28,286 --> 00:26:30,789
of what a relationship was,
you know,
619
00:26:30,889 --> 00:26:34,559
and I didn't know
how much work it takes.
620
00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:36,494
And my parents didn't do
any of that work,
621
00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:39,898
and I just feel so lucky
622
00:26:39,965 --> 00:26:42,133
that I get to figure it out
with you.
623
00:26:44,169 --> 00:26:46,104
Thank you for sticking with me.
624
00:26:46,171 --> 00:26:48,640
- Oh.
625
00:26:48,740 --> 00:26:52,911
Well, thank you
for putting up with me.
626
00:26:52,978 --> 00:26:55,680
- [laughs]
- Yeah. Yeah.
627
00:26:55,780 --> 00:26:58,016
You are definitely worth
the trouble.
628
00:26:58,116 --> 00:26:59,184
- What?
- Yeah.
629
00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:00,819
- Excuse you.
- Yeah, no.
630
00:27:00,919 --> 00:27:03,321
- "The trouble"?
- Yeah, you are trouble.
631
00:27:03,421 --> 00:27:05,824
- Whatever. Whatever.
- [laughs]
632
00:27:09,427 --> 00:27:12,430
[laughing]
Hey, I got a question.
633
00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:16,801
Back when we first met,
do you remember
634
00:27:16,868 --> 00:27:21,673
getting, like, this hangover
care package thing?
635
00:27:21,773 --> 00:27:23,274
- No. No.
- Okay.
636
00:27:23,341 --> 00:27:26,544
Well, I showed up
637
00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:29,314
at your apartment,
638
00:27:29,381 --> 00:27:33,852
and I-I brought Gatorade,
639
00:27:33,952 --> 00:27:35,453
fucking Pedialyte,
640
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,956
Smart Water, chips, soup,
all that shit.
641
00:27:38,023 --> 00:27:42,227
Amar'e Stoudemire...
642
00:27:42,327 --> 00:27:43,862
- Oh.
- Answered the door.
643
00:27:43,962 --> 00:27:45,196
Yeah.
- Damn.
644
00:27:45,296 --> 00:27:47,632
- Yeah.
- I forgot to tell you I was--
645
00:27:47,699 --> 00:27:49,234
I was dating STAT, yeah.
646
00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:51,836
- He's so tall.
- Yeah. That's a big dude.
647
00:27:51,903 --> 00:27:53,338
- Yeah. I felt like a Smurf.
648
00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:55,306
- [laughs]
- I learned that that day.
649
00:27:55,373 --> 00:27:58,243
And I remember walking away
just being so upset.
650
00:27:58,343 --> 00:28:01,546
Like, "Why did this woman
even talk to me?"
651
00:28:01,646 --> 00:28:03,381
- Oh, 'cause I liked you.
652
00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:08,019
- And look at us now.
653
00:28:11,156 --> 00:28:14,659
Great kid, great life...
654
00:28:16,928 --> 00:28:18,229
- Yeah.
It's pretty tight, right?
655
00:28:18,329 --> 00:28:19,497
- Mm-hmm.
656
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,436
- Okay, I'm reclining...
right now.
657
00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:25,770
Bye, babe
- Oh, snap, okay.
658
00:28:25,870 --> 00:28:27,038
I'm gonna race you.
- Bye, babe.
659
00:28:27,105 --> 00:28:28,707
- No, ain't no bye.
- Bye.
660
00:28:28,773 --> 00:28:30,075
- I'ma join you.
- You're not.
661
00:28:30,175 --> 00:28:31,543
- I'm probably gonna even
beat you down.
662
00:28:31,609 --> 00:28:33,111
- You're not going to.
- I probably am.
663
00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:35,113
- You're so competitive.
You're insane.
664
00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:37,082
- Yeah.
It's that Y chromosome.
665
00:28:37,182 --> 00:28:38,850
- I guess.
- You know how we do.
666
00:28:38,917 --> 00:28:42,020
[George McCrae's
"You Can Have It All"]
667
00:28:42,087 --> 00:28:45,924
♪ ♪
668
00:28:46,024 --> 00:28:50,628
- ♪ If you want,
want my love ♪
669
00:28:50,729 --> 00:28:52,397
♪ Take it, baby ♪
670
00:28:52,464 --> 00:28:55,100
♪ ♪
671
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:59,771
♪ If you want,
want my heart ♪
672
00:28:59,871 --> 00:29:01,473
♪ Take it, baby ♪
673
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:04,442
♪ ♪
674
00:29:04,542 --> 00:29:11,116
♪ You can have it all ♪
675
00:29:11,216 --> 00:29:13,551
♪ ♪
676
00:29:13,618 --> 00:29:19,891
♪ You can have it all ♪
677
00:29:19,958 --> 00:29:22,927
♪ ♪
678
00:29:22,994 --> 00:29:27,065
♪ If you want,
want my time ♪
679
00:29:27,132 --> 00:29:28,900
♪ Take it, baby ♪
680
00:29:28,967 --> 00:29:31,436
♪ ♪
681
00:29:31,503 --> 00:29:36,474
♪ And if you want
my last dime ♪
682
00:29:36,574 --> 00:29:38,743
♪ Take it, baby ♪
683
00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:41,012
♪ You can have it ♪
684
00:29:41,112 --> 00:29:42,480
♪ Have it all ♪
685
00:29:42,580 --> 00:29:44,582
♪ Baby, have it all ♪