1 00:00:04,976 --> 00:00:08,921 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:08,946 --> 00:00:10,015 _ 3 00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,654 Throughout human history, 4 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:14,583 sex without love has been prudishly regarded 5 00:00:14,608 --> 00:00:16,517 as a shameful act, 6 00:00:16,992 --> 00:00:19,909 and yet, still it happens every single day. 7 00:00:19,934 --> 00:00:22,503 The instructions say washing it in a warm bath of milk 8 00:00:22,528 --> 00:00:24,566 is the best manner in which to prevent disease. 9 00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:27,566 That's no matter. I use it frequently. 10 00:00:27,591 --> 00:00:30,004 I will rinse it when I return home. 11 00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:33,214 With advancements in prophylactic technology, 12 00:00:33,239 --> 00:00:35,448 finally, there was a comfortable barrier 13 00:00:35,473 --> 00:00:38,816 that protected from pregnancy and infection. 14 00:00:39,317 --> 00:00:40,777 [SIGHS] 15 00:00:40,802 --> 00:00:42,012 I'll write you. 16 00:00:42,037 --> 00:00:44,895 And so all that was left to suffer from 17 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,708 was the pain of unrequited love. 18 00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:52,420 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 19 00:00:52,445 --> 00:00:55,531 _ 20 00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,515 Lately, Darby had been avoiding 21 00:01:01,540 --> 00:01:03,960 the land mines of love entirely 22 00:01:03,985 --> 00:01:06,921 by hiding out and exploring Pornhub. 23 00:01:07,909 --> 00:01:09,851 [GROANING] Oh, God. 24 00:01:09,876 --> 00:01:12,171 ♪ ♪ 25 00:01:12,196 --> 00:01:13,694 [GRUNTS] 26 00:01:14,593 --> 00:01:16,437 [SIGHS] 27 00:01:16,462 --> 00:01:19,914 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:20,132 --> 00:01:22,453 Does anybody want breakfast? I'm gonna... 29 00:01:22,478 --> 00:01:23,835 - [MOANING] - More! 30 00:01:23,860 --> 00:01:24,921 Pull my hair. 31 00:01:24,946 --> 00:01:26,696 - Jim... Jim! - [MOANING] 32 00:01:26,721 --> 00:01:28,687 [BOTH MOANING] 33 00:01:28,712 --> 00:01:33,712 ♪ ♪ 34 00:01:36,077 --> 00:01:37,503 Darby? 35 00:01:38,229 --> 00:01:40,440 Holy shit. Hi! 36 00:01:40,465 --> 00:01:41,840 Oh, my God. 37 00:01:41,945 --> 00:01:44,081 - What... - How are you doing? 38 00:01:44,106 --> 00:01:45,628 What are you doing in my neighborhood? 39 00:01:45,653 --> 00:01:47,542 Well, I'm just getting some coffee here. 40 00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:51,190 Cool. Are you... back in New York? 41 00:01:51,215 --> 00:01:52,651 Did Politico send you back? 42 00:01:52,676 --> 00:01:54,924 No, no. I actually... I quit. 43 00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:57,581 - [CHUCKLES] - Okay. That's amazing. 44 00:01:57,606 --> 00:01:59,542 - Hi, I'm Emily. - So sorry. 45 00:01:59,567 --> 00:02:01,393 - Hi. - Um, Darby, this is Emily. 46 00:02:01,418 --> 00:02:02,495 - Emily, Darby. - Hi. 47 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,565 - It's so good to meet you. - So nice to meet you. 48 00:02:04,590 --> 00:02:07,840 Um, so what are you doing now that you don't... 49 00:02:07,865 --> 00:02:09,034 That you're not in politics? 50 00:02:09,059 --> 00:02:10,659 Are you gonna take up golf or something? 51 00:02:11,244 --> 00:02:13,706 Uh, well, actually, Emily writes short stories, 52 00:02:13,731 --> 00:02:16,106 and we thought it'd be cool to trick out a camper van 53 00:02:16,131 --> 00:02:18,589 and drive around America, you know, coast to coast. 54 00:02:18,614 --> 00:02:21,549 My... my thesis at Gallatin was "The Road as a Trope," 55 00:02:21,574 --> 00:02:23,035 so I just think I want to do a little more 56 00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,457 - writing on that, see if I can... - Cool, cool. 57 00:02:24,481 --> 00:02:25,862 - She is an amazing writer. - Mm. 58 00:02:25,887 --> 00:02:27,230 - Thank you. - Oh, what are... What are you up to? 59 00:02:27,254 --> 00:02:28,620 Are you still working at, um... 60 00:02:28,645 --> 00:02:30,573 Uh, no, I'm at the Whitney now. 61 00:02:30,598 --> 00:02:31,729 - Wow. - Mm. 62 00:02:31,754 --> 00:02:32,816 Nice. What are you doing there? 63 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,221 - What am I not doing? - I really... I love the Whitney. 64 00:02:35,246 --> 00:02:36,668 - It was so good to see you. - All right. See you. 65 00:02:36,692 --> 00:02:39,884 - You too. Totally. Great to see you. - And good luck with everything. 66 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:41,339 - Thank you. You too. - Hey, it was so good to meet you. 67 00:02:41,363 --> 00:02:43,244 So good to meet you too. 68 00:02:43,269 --> 00:02:45,205 - Just have the most fun, okay? - Yeah, you too. 69 00:02:45,230 --> 00:02:46,237 All right. See you. 70 00:02:46,262 --> 00:02:48,252 - I live this way. - Oh, yep. 71 00:02:48,277 --> 00:02:49,362 [LAUGHS] 72 00:02:49,387 --> 00:02:52,095 Babe, please, can you get dressed? 73 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:53,661 Do I have to come to the bris? 74 00:02:53,686 --> 00:02:55,159 My mom asked us to get there early 75 00:02:55,184 --> 00:02:56,542 so we could help her with the party. 76 00:02:56,566 --> 00:02:59,041 Just tell her I'm sick. Please. 77 00:02:59,066 --> 00:03:00,941 Oh, come on. It won't be all bad. 78 00:03:00,966 --> 00:03:02,721 You know, the mohel, he's kind of famous. 79 00:03:02,746 --> 00:03:04,034 He did Jake Gyllenhaal. 80 00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:06,166 We go uptown to your family's every weekend. 81 00:03:06,191 --> 00:03:08,111 We were literally there 12 hours ago for Shabbat. 82 00:03:08,136 --> 00:03:09,175 You have to come. 83 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,950 My mother got you almond milk. 84 00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:14,116 Guys... 85 00:03:14,567 --> 00:03:16,229 something really bad just happened. 86 00:03:16,254 --> 00:03:17,338 What? 87 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:18,877 I ran into Augie. 88 00:03:18,902 --> 00:03:20,152 - BOTH: No. - Yeah. 89 00:03:20,177 --> 00:03:21,580 For the first time in three years. 90 00:03:21,605 --> 00:03:23,105 - How did he look? - Great. 91 00:03:23,130 --> 00:03:25,172 Yeah, he's, um, in New York now, I guess, 92 00:03:25,197 --> 00:03:27,182 which I would know if I hadn't unfollowed him, 93 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,448 and then I wouldn't have been blindsided while wearing Crocs. 94 00:03:29,472 --> 00:03:30,479 - No. - You know what? 95 00:03:30,504 --> 00:03:33,276 No one ever talks about the perils of not cyber-stalking an ex. 96 00:03:33,301 --> 00:03:34,580 And he has a new girlfriend. 97 00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,073 What the fuck, Jim? 98 00:03:36,098 --> 00:03:37,698 Did you know Augie had a new girlfriend? 99 00:03:37,723 --> 00:03:39,815 No. I'm not his fucking biographer. 100 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,412 Yeah, he, um, he quit Politico, 101 00:03:41,437 --> 00:03:43,619 and he and Emily are gonna, like, 102 00:03:43,644 --> 00:03:45,549 travel America in a camper van. 103 00:03:45,574 --> 00:03:46,698 - Ew. - Yeah. 104 00:03:46,723 --> 00:03:48,651 And I'm just wondering, like, what it says that, 105 00:03:48,676 --> 00:03:50,292 um, he broke up with me to pursue his career, 106 00:03:50,316 --> 00:03:52,268 which is fine, but then he gave up his career 107 00:03:52,293 --> 00:03:54,315 for this new... for this other person. 108 00:03:54,340 --> 00:03:55,878 Okay, baby girl, do you know what you need? 109 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,444 - Mm. - My coworker Eliza 110 00:03:57,469 --> 00:03:59,354 is having a barbecue, and you have to come. 111 00:03:59,379 --> 00:04:00,629 Gonorrhea Eliza? 112 00:04:00,654 --> 00:04:02,612 Mal, I told you not to tell anyone. 113 00:04:02,637 --> 00:04:04,057 Whatever. It's just gonorrhea. 114 00:04:04,082 --> 00:04:05,682 Anyway, she throws an awesome party. 115 00:04:05,707 --> 00:04:08,432 Babe, doesn't Eliza, like, party enough at work? 116 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,221 James, we work at Webster Hall. 117 00:04:10,246 --> 00:04:12,534 It's a music venue. It's our job to party. 118 00:04:12,559 --> 00:04:15,096 Sara, seriously, we promised my mom. 119 00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:17,080 And what about what Rabbi Esther said last week 120 00:04:17,105 --> 00:04:18,502 about tikkun olam? 121 00:04:18,527 --> 00:04:21,104 We need to, like, repair the wrongs in the world. 122 00:04:21,129 --> 00:04:23,795 Darby needs me to tikkun olam her 123 00:04:23,820 --> 00:04:25,315 with lots of free vodka. 124 00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:27,215 You both are welcome to come. 125 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,455 I think I would rather go to a bris than a barbecue. 126 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,752 Okay, you don't know what you're saying. 127 00:04:31,777 --> 00:04:33,698 - Just go get dressed. - Okay. 128 00:04:34,362 --> 00:04:36,534 [GASPS, GROANS] 129 00:04:37,491 --> 00:04:38,869 [SIGHS] Do you think that 130 00:04:38,894 --> 00:04:40,799 when Augie and I were texting, like, 131 00:04:40,824 --> 00:04:42,729 he knew it was bullshit the whole time? 132 00:04:42,754 --> 00:04:45,112 Like, was he just, like, placating me with emojis? 133 00:04:45,292 --> 00:04:47,534 Why do you always think of the darkest option? 134 00:04:47,559 --> 00:04:49,167 I don't know, I just... I don't think that 135 00:04:49,191 --> 00:04:51,573 he's, like, this freaked out about running into me. 136 00:04:51,598 --> 00:04:53,002 Time for some medicine. Look. 137 00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:56,448 What you need right now is a good, old-fashioned exorcism, 138 00:04:56,473 --> 00:04:58,909 but instead of the old priest, it's a young, hot guy. 139 00:04:58,934 --> 00:05:00,377 - Mm. - And instead of a cross, 140 00:05:00,402 --> 00:05:01,526 - it's a dick. - Whoa! 141 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:02,667 - Instead of holy water... - No, no, no, no, no. 142 00:05:02,691 --> 00:05:05,541 I... whatever this, like, Catholic kink is, 143 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:07,488 please work it out with Jim. Like, do some roleplay. 144 00:05:07,512 --> 00:05:08,597 - Please leave me out of it. - Okay. 145 00:05:08,621 --> 00:05:10,121 Whatever metaphor you want to use, 146 00:05:10,146 --> 00:05:13,338 it's time for mama to put on her big-girl pants. 147 00:05:13,363 --> 00:05:14,393 Am I mama? 148 00:05:14,418 --> 00:05:15,487 - Yeah, mama. - Yeah. 149 00:05:15,512 --> 00:05:16,830 What about this? 150 00:05:17,723 --> 00:05:19,955 No. Mama. Wh... 151 00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:21,049 ♪ Look ♪ 152 00:05:21,074 --> 00:05:23,127 ♪ Baby girl, you're so damn fine, though ♪ 153 00:05:23,152 --> 00:05:25,932 ♪ I'm tryna know if I can hit it from behind, though ♪ 154 00:05:25,957 --> 00:05:28,080 ♪ I'm sippin' on you like some fine wine, though ♪ 155 00:05:28,105 --> 00:05:30,643 ♪ And when it's over, I press rewind, though ♪ 156 00:05:30,668 --> 00:05:32,643 ♪ Hey, you talkin' bands, girl, I got it ♪ 157 00:05:32,668 --> 00:05:34,358 Okay. 158 00:05:34,383 --> 00:05:36,284 All right. There's guys here. 159 00:05:36,309 --> 00:05:38,346 And a lot of basic girls, 160 00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:40,909 so you get in there, my beautiful weirdo. 161 00:05:40,934 --> 00:05:43,659 Whoa, I didn't know there'd be movie stars here. 162 00:05:43,684 --> 00:05:46,854 [BOTH LAUGHING] 163 00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,494 That dude wants to hit it! 164 00:05:48,519 --> 00:05:50,198 That dude's wearing a gold chain. 165 00:05:50,223 --> 00:05:52,159 You made it! Hi! 166 00:05:52,184 --> 00:05:54,315 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 167 00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:57,244 ♪ She walk past, I press rewind ♪ 168 00:05:57,909 --> 00:05:59,893 This is fucked up, 169 00:05:59,918 --> 00:06:02,518 but I wish Jim wasn't so close to his family. 170 00:06:02,543 --> 00:06:03,760 It's, like, constant. 171 00:06:03,785 --> 00:06:05,479 Yeah. It sounds abusive. 172 00:06:05,504 --> 00:06:08,222 Look, if you went to as many brises as I do, 173 00:06:08,247 --> 00:06:09,675 you'd feel the same way. 174 00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:11,117 I could, like, perform a bris. 175 00:06:11,142 --> 00:06:12,277 - Oh, my God. - Right now. 176 00:06:12,302 --> 00:06:14,074 Find me a baby dick, and I'll do it. 177 00:06:14,099 --> 00:06:15,965 I'll show you how it's done. And he's always like, 178 00:06:15,989 --> 00:06:18,222 "Why don't you hold this cute little baby? 179 00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:19,550 It's so cute. Hold it." 180 00:06:19,575 --> 00:06:21,714 And I'm like, "I don't like the implications." 181 00:06:21,973 --> 00:06:23,746 - The implications? - Yeah. 182 00:06:23,771 --> 00:06:25,354 That your boyfriend loves you 183 00:06:25,379 --> 00:06:27,700 and, like, maybe sees a future with you that involves babies? 184 00:06:27,724 --> 00:06:30,012 - Darby, do not guilt-trip me right now. - I'm not guilt-tripping you. 185 00:06:30,036 --> 00:06:32,269 He sounds like a monster. Get away as fast as you can. 186 00:06:32,294 --> 00:06:33,722 [LAUGHS] 187 00:06:34,473 --> 00:06:37,121 Mamaleh, where do you want me to put the rugelach? 188 00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:39,246 - Just over there on the sideboard. - Okay. 189 00:06:39,271 --> 00:06:40,918 It's a shame Sara couldn't come. 190 00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:42,074 She loves my rugelach. 191 00:06:42,099 --> 00:06:44,668 I know, but she got called into a concert for work. 192 00:06:44,693 --> 00:06:45,910 But she sends her love. 193 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,614 You're killing your mother. 194 00:06:47,639 --> 00:06:49,264 Auntie DeeDee is kicking her butt 195 00:06:49,289 --> 00:06:50,831 in the grandkids department. 196 00:06:50,856 --> 00:06:53,496 Okay, Dad, but you know we're not really ready yet. 197 00:06:53,521 --> 00:06:54,754 Just have one now, 198 00:06:54,779 --> 00:06:56,419 and we'll take care of it until you're ready. 199 00:06:56,443 --> 00:06:57,621 Where is Sara? 200 00:06:57,646 --> 00:06:59,035 I made that kale salad she loves, 201 00:06:59,060 --> 00:07:00,200 the one with the cranberries. 202 00:07:00,224 --> 00:07:02,136 She got called in to a concert at work. 203 00:07:02,161 --> 00:07:04,714 - She sends her love. - Sara's not here? 204 00:07:04,739 --> 00:07:06,230 It's your cousin's bris. 205 00:07:06,255 --> 00:07:07,269 Folks! 206 00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:10,457 Sara, my girlfriend, she sends her love. 207 00:07:10,575 --> 00:07:14,218 ♪ And you ♪ 208 00:07:14,243 --> 00:07:17,535 ♪ You want to feel it all... ♪ 209 00:07:18,667 --> 00:07:20,371 Darby avoided mingling 210 00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:23,691 by stalking Augie's new girlfriend on Instagram, 211 00:07:24,489 --> 00:07:27,406 and while years later, she would come to understand 212 00:07:27,431 --> 00:07:29,761 the often large gap between the way 213 00:07:29,786 --> 00:07:31,786 people present themselves on social media 214 00:07:31,811 --> 00:07:34,004 and what their lives are really like, 215 00:07:34,029 --> 00:07:36,904 this stream of selfies simply made Darby, 216 00:07:36,929 --> 00:07:40,054 to put it colloquially, feel like shit. 217 00:07:41,371 --> 00:07:42,886 What's that? 218 00:07:42,911 --> 00:07:44,471 Oh, what... what, it's a party, and people 219 00:07:44,495 --> 00:07:45,997 should put their phones away and have a good time? 220 00:07:46,021 --> 00:07:47,688 Thanks. Can you give me my phone back? 221 00:07:48,332 --> 00:07:49,996 Sorry. I thought it would be cute. 222 00:07:50,021 --> 00:07:52,660 Okay. Just don't take other people's shit. 223 00:07:52,685 --> 00:07:54,894 Damn. All right. I said I'm sorry. 224 00:08:01,636 --> 00:08:03,825 - Spin the Bottle. Wow. - Hi! 225 00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:05,075 - Come here. - Yeah. 226 00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:06,646 This is definitely what you should be doing right now. 227 00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:08,465 Mm, yeah. He's cute. 228 00:08:08,490 --> 00:08:10,325 - Oh. - Oh, my God. He's so hot. 229 00:08:10,350 --> 00:08:11,350 Fingers crossed. 230 00:08:11,375 --> 00:08:13,242 - Good luck to you. - Mm. 231 00:08:13,267 --> 00:08:14,851 Um... 232 00:08:18,153 --> 00:08:19,598 Okay. 233 00:08:19,623 --> 00:08:21,692 - [CHUCKLES] - Have fun. 234 00:08:25,789 --> 00:08:28,721 - All right. - Love connection. 235 00:08:35,003 --> 00:08:36,169 All right. 236 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,846 - Wow. - That's for you, friend. 237 00:08:40,101 --> 00:08:41,838 - This is fun. - Uh, my lips hurt. 238 00:08:41,863 --> 00:08:43,196 - Can you look? - Mm-hmm. 239 00:08:43,221 --> 00:08:44,909 - In a really nice way. - Yeah. 240 00:08:44,934 --> 00:08:46,901 It seemed like you were enjoying yourself. 241 00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:48,206 - Okay. - [LAUGHS] 242 00:08:48,231 --> 00:08:49,627 Are you okay? 243 00:08:49,652 --> 00:08:51,417 - You don't have to do this... - No, I think I gotta go. 244 00:08:51,441 --> 00:08:53,127 - I don't want Jim to feel bad. - Oh, Sara. 245 00:08:53,152 --> 00:08:54,471 Sara, don't leave me here. 246 00:08:54,496 --> 00:08:56,163 You know what? You go forth, 247 00:08:56,188 --> 00:08:58,159 and you get on that dick wagon. 248 00:08:58,184 --> 00:09:00,245 - Mm. - It is your destiny. 249 00:09:00,270 --> 00:09:01,464 Very upset by the phrase "dick wagon." 250 00:09:01,488 --> 00:09:02,909 - Just giddyup... - Don't. 251 00:09:02,934 --> 00:09:04,410 - I don't like the voice. - And you just get on that 252 00:09:04,434 --> 00:09:06,034 little dick wagon, and you just... 253 00:09:06,059 --> 00:09:07,160 Stop. Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 254 00:09:07,184 --> 00:09:08,768 Okay. Just stay. 255 00:09:08,793 --> 00:09:10,479 Have fun. Live for me. 256 00:09:10,504 --> 00:09:11,963 Nice to meet you guys. 257 00:09:11,988 --> 00:09:13,409 See you later. 258 00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:14,565 Wow. 259 00:09:14,590 --> 00:09:17,956 [YUMI ZOUMA'S "ALENA"] 260 00:09:17,981 --> 00:09:21,772 ♪ With you, we're moving together ♪ 261 00:09:21,797 --> 00:09:24,502 ♪ And you ♪ 262 00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:30,057 ♪ Are slippin' away to forever ♪ 263 00:09:30,511 --> 00:09:34,252 ♪ Come over here and dance with me ♪ 264 00:09:34,580 --> 00:09:38,393 ♪ It's true that you'll never see me feel better ♪ 265 00:09:38,503 --> 00:09:40,096 [URINE PATTERING] 266 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,862 Hey. What the fuck? 267 00:09:41,887 --> 00:09:43,823 Oh, fuck. Sorry. Can you not look? 268 00:09:43,848 --> 00:09:45,924 Sorry for intruding on your public urination, 269 00:09:45,949 --> 00:09:47,276 which is a crime, by the way. 270 00:09:47,301 --> 00:09:49,051 Yeah, all right. All right. 271 00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:52,651 Oh, fuck! Is that a nail? 272 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,463 - What kind of fucking... - You okay? 273 00:09:54,488 --> 00:09:56,807 Yep. Just cut myself. 274 00:09:56,832 --> 00:09:58,479 Oh, fuck, it's really bleeding. 275 00:09:58,504 --> 00:09:59,557 Let me see. 276 00:09:59,582 --> 00:10:01,104 It's fine, it's fine. 277 00:10:01,433 --> 00:10:03,588 - Oh, God. - Listen. 278 00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,573 My, uh... my apartment's right downstairs. 279 00:10:05,598 --> 00:10:06,941 I got some peroxide, you wanna clean that up. 280 00:10:06,965 --> 00:10:10,143 No, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. Just, like, I'll find a towel 281 00:10:10,168 --> 00:10:11,418 or a napkin or something. 282 00:10:11,443 --> 00:10:13,652 You're gonna find a towel or a napkin? 283 00:10:13,677 --> 00:10:14,677 I don't know! 284 00:10:14,702 --> 00:10:15,995 - Okay, yes. - Okay. 285 00:10:16,020 --> 00:10:17,187 Can I get cleaned up? 286 00:10:17,212 --> 00:10:18,979 Thank you. That's a very sweet offer. 287 00:10:19,004 --> 00:10:20,573 - I'm Danny. - Hi, I'm Darby. 288 00:10:20,598 --> 00:10:22,565 I'm the idiot who cut her leg. 289 00:10:23,309 --> 00:10:24,726 This is me. 290 00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:28,424 You better not try to murder me, okay? I'm armed. 291 00:10:31,773 --> 00:10:33,370 Trying to blind yourself? 292 00:10:33,395 --> 00:10:35,057 [LAUGHING] Jesus. 293 00:10:35,713 --> 00:10:37,697 Hi! 294 00:10:37,722 --> 00:10:38,987 [ALL SHUSHING] 295 00:10:39,012 --> 00:10:40,463 Baby's sleeping. 296 00:10:40,488 --> 00:10:41,760 [WHISPERING] Sorry. I'm sorry. 297 00:10:41,785 --> 00:10:43,909 - Babe, you made it. - Yeah. 298 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,206 Hi. 299 00:10:45,231 --> 00:10:46,729 What a wonderful surprise. 300 00:10:46,754 --> 00:10:48,713 Jim said you had to work late. 301 00:10:48,738 --> 00:10:50,737 Oh, yeah. 302 00:10:50,762 --> 00:10:53,698 Well, you know, the entertainment industry. 303 00:10:53,723 --> 00:10:56,112 Just out there saving lives. 304 00:10:56,137 --> 00:10:57,791 - Thanks for coming. - Yeah, of course. 305 00:10:57,816 --> 00:10:59,324 Sara, can I get you something to drink? 306 00:10:59,348 --> 00:11:00,846 I have your almond milk. 307 00:11:00,871 --> 00:11:03,121 Oh, you know what? I'm good. Thank you. 308 00:11:03,146 --> 00:11:05,355 I tell Jim every day, Sara, 309 00:11:05,380 --> 00:11:07,449 you're the only thing he did right. 310 00:11:07,474 --> 00:11:09,871 I tell him that, too, Diane. 311 00:11:09,896 --> 00:11:11,230 Oh, my God. 312 00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:13,191 [WHISPERING] How was the bris? 313 00:11:13,216 --> 00:11:15,355 Everyone except Todd seemed to have a good time. 314 00:11:15,380 --> 00:11:17,558 - Great. - Do you wanna hold Todd? 315 00:11:17,583 --> 00:11:19,050 No, no, no, I don't want to... 316 00:11:19,075 --> 00:11:20,574 I have to use the bathroom anyway. 317 00:11:20,599 --> 00:11:21,902 He loves being rocked. 318 00:11:21,927 --> 00:11:23,543 Well, I was actually just gonna get a plate first. 319 00:11:23,567 --> 00:11:24,753 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 320 00:11:24,778 --> 00:11:26,075 - I'll come back after. - You should hold the baby. 321 00:11:26,099 --> 00:11:27,183 Stop it. 322 00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:28,776 - All right. - Ahh! 323 00:11:28,801 --> 00:11:31,134 - Sorry. - Fuck. Fuck! 324 00:11:31,911 --> 00:11:33,089 All right. 325 00:11:33,114 --> 00:11:35,152 [BLOWING] 326 00:11:35,177 --> 00:11:36,910 [MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE] 327 00:11:36,935 --> 00:11:39,871 Um, I don't think that it's gonna scar, 328 00:11:39,896 --> 00:11:44,074 but maybe put, like, aloe vera on it for a week. 329 00:11:44,099 --> 00:11:45,253 Okay. 330 00:11:45,895 --> 00:11:47,652 - Thank you. - There you go. 331 00:11:47,994 --> 00:11:49,839 Still fucking hurts, though. Jesus. 332 00:11:49,864 --> 00:11:51,058 I got ibuprofen. 333 00:11:51,083 --> 00:11:53,308 Uh, you shouldn't take it on an empty stomach, though. 334 00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:54,401 You had food tonight? 335 00:11:54,426 --> 00:11:58,597 Um, I had a Bloody Mary that had celery in it. 336 00:11:58,622 --> 00:12:00,956 Yum. Uh, how about I make you a little plate? 337 00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:03,898 I got nice olives, I got mozzarella. 338 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:06,277 - Yeah, okay. That sounds good. - Yeah? 339 00:12:06,302 --> 00:12:07,511 Great. 340 00:12:13,956 --> 00:12:16,956 So what's the deal with this creepy empty room? 341 00:12:16,981 --> 00:12:18,660 I used to live here with my girlfriend, 342 00:12:18,685 --> 00:12:20,268 and when she broke up with me, 343 00:12:20,293 --> 00:12:22,285 she took all the furniture, so... 344 00:12:22,310 --> 00:12:23,761 Damn, that sucks. 345 00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,660 Oh, you got two phones. 346 00:12:25,685 --> 00:12:27,238 So you're a drug dealer. 347 00:12:27,263 --> 00:12:29,513 That's actually a very hurtful stereotype. 348 00:12:29,538 --> 00:12:31,871 Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. 349 00:12:32,734 --> 00:12:34,728 All right. 350 00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:36,003 Here we go. 351 00:12:36,028 --> 00:12:38,652 Whoa. This is very artfully arranged. 352 00:12:38,677 --> 00:12:39,777 - Yeah. - This is amazing. 353 00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:41,219 I used to work at a deli. 354 00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:44,786 Mm. 355 00:12:45,151 --> 00:12:47,457 - Okay. - Good? Good? 356 00:12:47,482 --> 00:12:48,583 All right, come on. Sit. What do you want? 357 00:12:48,607 --> 00:12:51,036 The bed? The lawn chair? You got options. 358 00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:53,840 I guess the lawn chair's better for digestion. 359 00:12:53,865 --> 00:12:55,817 All right. Lawn chair it is. 360 00:12:59,088 --> 00:13:00,820 Wow. Dinner and a show. 361 00:13:00,845 --> 00:13:05,359 Sorry. I get crazy OCD with the chin-ups. 362 00:13:05,791 --> 00:13:08,351 How many do you do, like, every day? 363 00:13:08,661 --> 00:13:11,109 Uh, like, 100. 364 00:13:11,134 --> 00:13:13,351 - Actually, like, exactly 100. - What? 365 00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:14,898 I got a lot of nervous energy. 366 00:13:14,923 --> 00:13:17,203 - 100? - That's not that many. 367 00:13:17,228 --> 00:13:19,895 No, when we used to do those presidential fitness tests, 368 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,148 I couldn't even do one. 369 00:13:21,173 --> 00:13:23,204 I would just, like, get up there, and I would just hang. 370 00:13:23,228 --> 00:13:24,353 You could do a chin-up. 371 00:13:24,378 --> 00:13:25,750 - I absolutely cannot. - Come on. 372 00:13:25,775 --> 00:13:27,734 No, petite people are very good at chin-ups. 373 00:13:27,759 --> 00:13:29,047 That's a very hurtful stereotype. 374 00:13:29,071 --> 00:13:31,488 Come here and put that down for a second. 375 00:13:33,534 --> 00:13:35,062 I can't. 376 00:13:35,087 --> 00:13:36,777 - All right. Hop up. - "Hop up"? 377 00:13:36,802 --> 00:13:37,802 - Really? - Okay, fine. 378 00:13:37,827 --> 00:13:39,627 - May I? You good? - That's offensive. Please. 379 00:13:39,796 --> 00:13:41,312 - [GRUNTS] - There you go. 380 00:13:41,337 --> 00:13:42,640 BOTH: One. 381 00:13:42,665 --> 00:13:44,093 You got one more. You got one more. 382 00:13:44,118 --> 00:13:45,126 - [GRUNTS] I can't! - All right. 383 00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:46,360 No, you just... You have to do an even number 384 00:13:46,384 --> 00:13:47,718 or else the world will blow up. 385 00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:48,915 - Is that how that works? - There you go. 386 00:13:48,939 --> 00:13:49,976 - [LAUGHS] - Ooh! 387 00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:51,793 Wow, your hair smells really nice. 388 00:13:51,906 --> 00:13:53,531 Oh. Thank you. 389 00:13:53,556 --> 00:13:56,882 Yes, I... I... I have this, um, 390 00:13:56,907 --> 00:13:59,179 - hair mask thing that I use. - Hmm. 391 00:13:59,351 --> 00:14:04,351 ♪ ♪ 392 00:14:10,801 --> 00:14:15,658 I can't even look at rugelach without gaining ten pounds. 393 00:14:15,683 --> 00:14:16,752 Come on, Ruth. 394 00:14:16,777 --> 00:14:19,103 You look like you're about to blow away. 395 00:14:19,343 --> 00:14:20,445 Am I gonna have to force feed you 396 00:14:20,469 --> 00:14:21,503 some of this lox right here? 397 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,463 Oh, you really know how to make an old broad's day. 398 00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,088 How you been? 399 00:14:26,113 --> 00:14:28,900 Oh, I'm hanging in there. 400 00:14:29,273 --> 00:14:31,408 - I redid the bathrooms. - Okay. 401 00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:32,808 Although I don't know why. 402 00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:34,900 They're gonna stick me in a home soon enough. 403 00:14:34,925 --> 00:14:37,158 Stop it. That is not true. 404 00:14:37,183 --> 00:14:40,017 I've been going downhill since Richard passed. 405 00:14:40,042 --> 00:14:43,775 He was the real life in the house. 406 00:14:44,234 --> 00:14:46,510 Do you know I never cooked a meal 407 00:14:46,535 --> 00:14:49,410 since two years into our marriage? 408 00:14:49,435 --> 00:14:52,142 He got so tired of my terrible cooking. 409 00:14:52,585 --> 00:14:54,283 He... he said one day, 410 00:14:54,308 --> 00:14:57,041 "Step aside. This is my job now." 411 00:14:57,066 --> 00:14:58,830 I remember. You told me that. 412 00:14:58,855 --> 00:15:01,105 And he never made me feel guilty about it. 413 00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:03,658 - Mm. - Yeah, he was a real winner. 414 00:15:03,683 --> 00:15:07,197 - [LAUGHS] - 55 years of marriage. 415 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,465 Well, I hope to have that with Jim one day. 416 00:15:12,546 --> 00:15:15,027 - Sara... - Mm-hmm? 417 00:15:15,052 --> 00:15:17,660 Let him go if you don't want him. 418 00:15:18,383 --> 00:15:20,341 Life's too short. 419 00:15:21,914 --> 00:15:24,074 I love Jim. 420 00:15:24,789 --> 00:15:26,621 ♪ ♪ 421 00:15:26,646 --> 00:15:28,449 So what do you do? 422 00:15:28,474 --> 00:15:31,496 Um, I work at the Whitney Museum. 423 00:15:31,521 --> 00:15:32,738 Whoa. 424 00:15:32,763 --> 00:15:33,888 Fancy. 425 00:15:34,658 --> 00:15:36,754 - Yeah, I guess. - My God. 426 00:15:36,799 --> 00:15:38,549 I'm a... a curator. 427 00:15:38,574 --> 00:15:39,582 Really? 428 00:15:39,607 --> 00:15:41,105 God, that's crazy. 429 00:15:41,130 --> 00:15:42,925 You know, I've never been there before. 430 00:15:42,950 --> 00:15:45,558 Never been to Ellis Island, either, I guess, but... 431 00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:46,972 Well, I'm a junior curator. 432 00:15:46,997 --> 00:15:48,309 Hey, you're the only person I know 433 00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:49,832 with, like, a fancy job like that. 434 00:15:49,857 --> 00:15:51,433 It's awesome. 435 00:15:52,112 --> 00:15:54,028 Yeah. I mean, it's not a big deal. 436 00:15:54,315 --> 00:15:55,481 Um, what do you do? 437 00:15:55,506 --> 00:15:58,136 Uh, long-term, me and my cousin 438 00:15:58,161 --> 00:16:00,411 are in the process of trying to start, 439 00:16:00,436 --> 00:16:02,918 like, a bagel shop, so... 440 00:16:02,943 --> 00:16:04,193 Cool. 441 00:16:04,283 --> 00:16:05,879 I love bagels. 442 00:16:06,411 --> 00:16:08,269 You know, you're very beautiful. 443 00:16:08,628 --> 00:16:10,294 And look, sorry if I was a little rusty. 444 00:16:10,319 --> 00:16:11,715 It's been a while since Bri. 445 00:16:11,740 --> 00:16:13,074 Oh. 446 00:16:13,099 --> 00:16:15,307 Well, how long has it been since you guys broke up? 447 00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:17,043 Three years. 448 00:16:17,068 --> 00:16:18,691 Okay. That's a long time. 449 00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:20,091 I know, I'm a freak. 450 00:16:20,116 --> 00:16:22,020 That's the deal with the second phone, by the way. 451 00:16:22,044 --> 00:16:23,433 It's got all her voicemails on it 452 00:16:23,458 --> 00:16:25,121 from before she fell out of love with me, 453 00:16:25,146 --> 00:16:26,778 and I don't know how to transfer the messages, 454 00:16:26,802 --> 00:16:30,469 so now I'm just paying for two phones like a fucking tool. 455 00:16:30,953 --> 00:16:33,535 That's a sad story, Danny Two Phones. 456 00:16:33,706 --> 00:16:35,129 Danny Two Phones. 457 00:16:35,154 --> 00:16:37,035 That's... I like that. Yeah. 458 00:16:37,060 --> 00:16:40,175 You should get rid of that phone, you know? 459 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,840 Like, it's holding you back. 460 00:16:41,865 --> 00:16:43,722 Like, start over. You'll feel better. 461 00:16:43,747 --> 00:16:46,511 [SIGHS] I guess you're right. 462 00:16:46,726 --> 00:16:48,683 What the fuck am I doing with my life? 463 00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,543 I should. I should delete this shit. 464 00:16:50,568 --> 00:16:52,340 I should just... I should move on. 465 00:16:52,739 --> 00:16:53,739 Yo, baby, I'm... 466 00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:55,340 - Oh, man. - No! 467 00:16:55,373 --> 00:16:57,410 No, no, no, no, no. Don't do this. 468 00:16:57,435 --> 00:16:59,011 - Stay with me. Come on. - Oh, man. 469 00:16:59,036 --> 00:17:01,629 Hey, listen. She's not coming back, right? 470 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,027 [BREATHES DEEPLY] You know what? 471 00:17:04,052 --> 00:17:05,816 - Fuck Brianna. - Yeah, fuck Brianna. 472 00:17:05,841 --> 00:17:07,340 - Fuck Brianna. - Never liked her. 473 00:17:07,365 --> 00:17:09,199 I'm throwing this shit out the window. 474 00:17:09,224 --> 00:17:10,277 Holy shit. 475 00:17:10,302 --> 00:17:11,988 Oh, my God, are you actually gonna do it? 476 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,808 Oh, my God, am I actually doing this? 477 00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:16,125 - Dude, I believe in you! - Okay. 478 00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:17,918 Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna do it, right? 479 00:17:17,943 --> 00:17:20,207 All right. [EXHALES SHARPLY] 480 00:17:20,232 --> 00:17:21,816 - [GROANS] - [EXCLAIMS] 481 00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,668 - Holy shit! - Whoo! 482 00:17:23,693 --> 00:17:25,066 Nothing but net. 483 00:17:25,091 --> 00:17:27,379 I'm Danny-fucking-One-Phone now, baby! 484 00:17:27,404 --> 00:17:29,894 Yeah, you are! Oh, my God! 485 00:17:29,919 --> 00:17:31,613 How do you feel? 486 00:17:31,638 --> 00:17:32,847 God, I feel fucking great. 487 00:17:32,872 --> 00:17:34,191 Yeah. 488 00:17:34,216 --> 00:17:35,707 I feel like a weight's been lifted. 489 00:17:35,732 --> 00:17:36,871 Yeah. Good. 490 00:17:36,896 --> 00:17:39,465 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 491 00:17:39,490 --> 00:17:42,949 Hey, do you believe in fate? 492 00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:45,777 - Um... - Because... 493 00:17:45,802 --> 00:17:48,316 I feel like I met you for a reason. 494 00:17:48,341 --> 00:17:52,011 I mean, even at that party, you stood out to me, 495 00:17:52,036 --> 00:17:53,386 and I took the D train today. 496 00:17:53,411 --> 00:17:54,745 I never take the D train. 497 00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:56,270 Never. 498 00:17:56,807 --> 00:17:58,723 What does the D train have to do with... 499 00:17:58,748 --> 00:18:00,574 D for Darby. 500 00:18:01,229 --> 00:18:03,558 Oh. Or D for Danny. 501 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,708 - No. No, no, no. - Or Dalmatians or... 502 00:18:05,733 --> 00:18:07,777 I met you for a reason, and it's... 503 00:18:07,802 --> 00:18:10,074 Oh, my... it's fucking crazy 504 00:18:10,099 --> 00:18:12,621 how your whole life can change in a night. 505 00:18:14,268 --> 00:18:16,949 [SOFT INDISTINCT CHATTER] 506 00:18:16,974 --> 00:18:18,957 Hey. I'll hold him. 507 00:18:18,982 --> 00:18:20,066 - Really? - Yeah. 508 00:18:20,091 --> 00:18:21,933 - Sit... sit over there. - Okay. 509 00:18:21,958 --> 00:18:23,886 - You want me to sit? - Yeah. 510 00:18:28,101 --> 00:18:29,785 [MOUTHING WORDS] 511 00:18:29,810 --> 00:18:31,207 - He likes to be upright. - Okay. 512 00:18:31,232 --> 00:18:33,113 - Yeah. - All right. [GRUNTS] 513 00:18:33,138 --> 00:18:35,683 Oh, he loves you. 514 00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:40,082 Oh, my God, babe, you look so hot. 515 00:18:40,107 --> 00:18:42,863 I got... I gotta Instagram this. Hold on. 516 00:18:42,979 --> 00:18:45,582 - So cute. - [CHUCKLES] 517 00:18:45,607 --> 00:18:48,543 [LAUGHS SOFTLY] Oh... 518 00:18:48,568 --> 00:18:49,980 Ooh. 519 00:18:50,926 --> 00:18:53,340 - [QUIETLY] Do you smell that? - No. 520 00:18:53,468 --> 00:18:54,527 - For real? - Yeah. 521 00:18:54,552 --> 00:18:57,082 I think he... I think he pooped. 522 00:18:57,586 --> 00:18:59,566 - It's getting so late. - Oh. 523 00:18:59,591 --> 00:19:01,633 - I know, I hate to... - No, no. 524 00:19:01,658 --> 00:19:03,152 - I... I understand. - Yeah. 525 00:19:03,177 --> 00:19:05,469 And I, you know... I have work in the morning. 526 00:19:05,494 --> 00:19:07,222 Right, right. 527 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,269 [MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE] 528 00:19:09,294 --> 00:19:12,113 Hey, do you know... Do you know Andrew Dice Clay? 529 00:19:12,299 --> 00:19:14,090 - No. Who's that? - Oh, my God. 530 00:19:14,115 --> 00:19:15,573 He's this amazing comedian. 531 00:19:15,598 --> 00:19:18,246 He's got a show on Saturday, 532 00:19:18,271 --> 00:19:22,477 and uh, you know, we could do dinner, um, beforehand, 533 00:19:22,502 --> 00:19:23,773 and I got my cousin's car, 534 00:19:23,798 --> 00:19:25,290 'cause he's out of town for the whole month, 535 00:19:25,314 --> 00:19:27,516 so you wouldn't even have to take the train. 536 00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:29,391 I could swoop you. Say yes. 537 00:19:29,416 --> 00:19:31,453 Um, ooh, Saturday's not good. 538 00:19:31,478 --> 00:19:33,016 Oh, man. 539 00:19:33,698 --> 00:19:34,993 Well, Friday... What about Friday? 540 00:19:35,017 --> 00:19:36,587 Friday's bucket hat night at the Mets game. 541 00:19:36,611 --> 00:19:37,976 That'd be amazing. 542 00:19:38,757 --> 00:19:40,465 You know what's so fucking crazy? 543 00:19:40,490 --> 00:19:41,883 This is so fucking crazy, 544 00:19:41,908 --> 00:19:44,242 and I'm sorry I didn't say anything before. 545 00:19:45,721 --> 00:19:50,055 I'm actually moving to Cleveland on Monday. 546 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:51,289 Cleveland? 547 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,590 You're trading the Whitney for Cleveland? 548 00:19:53,615 --> 00:19:56,365 Um, yeah, they... They offered me this big job 549 00:19:56,390 --> 00:19:58,859 at the, um, Cleveland Museum of Art, 550 00:19:58,884 --> 00:20:01,430 and um, this party 551 00:20:01,455 --> 00:20:03,955 was kind of like my last hurrah in the city, 552 00:20:03,980 --> 00:20:06,320 and I... I should've said something before, 553 00:20:06,345 --> 00:20:09,762 but I didn't want to ruin the kind of... vibe. 554 00:20:10,117 --> 00:20:11,742 Damn. 555 00:20:12,870 --> 00:20:14,805 - [SIGHS] - Yeah, I know. 556 00:20:14,830 --> 00:20:16,789 I finally met someone good. 557 00:20:16,814 --> 00:20:19,172 - I'm sorry. - No, no. I mean... 558 00:20:19,333 --> 00:20:21,406 Don't be sorry. No. 559 00:20:21,431 --> 00:20:23,181 I'm really glad I met you. 560 00:20:23,463 --> 00:20:25,960 Yeah, me too. Me too. 561 00:20:25,985 --> 00:20:29,383 Um, I should really get going, though. 562 00:20:29,408 --> 00:20:31,173 Hey, let me... let me at least give you a ride home. 563 00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:33,344 - My cousin's car's a BMW. - Oh, no. 564 00:20:33,369 --> 00:20:35,406 I'm, like, right by the subway, so... 565 00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,938 Bye, Danny. 566 00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:44,132 Good-bye... my little Thumbelina. 567 00:20:45,192 --> 00:20:46,692 Bye. 568 00:20:46,717 --> 00:20:49,945 [PENSIVE MUSIC] 569 00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:54,970 ♪ ♪ 570 00:20:57,513 --> 00:20:59,873 Hey. Good morning. 571 00:20:59,898 --> 00:21:01,898 Oh. You were up late. 572 00:21:01,923 --> 00:21:04,756 Yeah, um, things got interesting 573 00:21:04,781 --> 00:21:06,693 after your Spin the Bottle dude. 574 00:21:06,718 --> 00:21:09,287 - Shh. - Hey, gals. 575 00:21:09,312 --> 00:21:10,678 Care to join me on a run? 576 00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:12,076 BOTH: No. 577 00:21:12,101 --> 00:21:15,631 All right, fine, then I am listening to Serial. 578 00:21:15,656 --> 00:21:17,357 So how was it? 579 00:21:17,382 --> 00:21:20,799 Um... I... 580 00:21:21,036 --> 00:21:23,152 fucked the gold chain guy. 581 00:21:23,473 --> 00:21:25,092 Yeah, definitely a one-time thing. 582 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,685 [LAUGHS] 583 00:21:26,710 --> 00:21:29,920 - What up, Casual Darby? - Yeah. One-time thing. 584 00:21:29,945 --> 00:21:32,826 One-time thing. I, like... I don't know. 585 00:21:32,851 --> 00:21:35,709 I got to be this whole other person, 586 00:21:35,734 --> 00:21:38,654 and I told him that I was a curator, 587 00:21:38,679 --> 00:21:41,935 and I, like, inflated my whole life 588 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,045 'cause it felt really good to have somebody look at me 589 00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:48,381 and think that I was, like, so impressive and just, like, 590 00:21:48,406 --> 00:21:49,756 "Oh, my God. Wow." 591 00:21:49,781 --> 00:21:53,906 Yeah, well, lying is a really powerful self-help tool. 592 00:21:54,018 --> 00:21:55,476 Yeah. 593 00:21:56,307 --> 00:21:59,021 I also told him I was moving to Cleveland. 594 00:21:59,046 --> 00:22:00,303 [LAUGHING] Oh, my God. 595 00:22:00,328 --> 00:22:01,865 It was in self-defense. 596 00:22:01,890 --> 00:22:03,943 I was worried he was gonna get obsessed with me. 597 00:22:03,968 --> 00:22:06,232 - Poor guy. - Yeah. 598 00:22:06,257 --> 00:22:08,224 I mean, poor... he'll be fine. 599 00:22:08,249 --> 00:22:10,701 He got to fuck me. Like, he'll live. 600 00:22:10,726 --> 00:22:12,559 - True. - Yeah. 601 00:22:15,284 --> 00:22:17,045 The encounter with Danny 602 00:22:17,070 --> 00:22:19,537 had boosted Darby's wounded ego 603 00:22:19,562 --> 00:22:22,678 and given her a much-needed bounce in her step. 604 00:22:22,703 --> 00:22:23,995 She went on with her life, 605 00:22:24,020 --> 00:22:25,967 giving Danny very little thought, 606 00:22:25,992 --> 00:22:28,803 as men had so often done to her. 607 00:22:28,828 --> 00:22:30,513 [ELEVATOR DINGS] 608 00:22:36,619 --> 00:22:38,388 [QUIETLY] Shit. 609 00:22:39,356 --> 00:22:40,826 Darby? 610 00:22:42,244 --> 00:22:44,513 - Danny! - Oh, my God. 611 00:22:44,538 --> 00:22:46,318 - This... wow. - Hi. 612 00:22:46,343 --> 00:22:48,194 - Hi. - Uh... 613 00:22:48,232 --> 00:22:50,810 What happened to Cleveland? Did you change your mind? 614 00:22:50,835 --> 00:22:52,467 No. Um, no. 615 00:22:52,492 --> 00:22:55,553 I'm going. Um... 616 00:22:56,018 --> 00:22:58,393 Uh, the apartment I was renting... 617 00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:01,662 Like, it's been so crazy. 618 00:23:01,687 --> 00:23:05,145 Um, the landlord, you know. 619 00:23:05,170 --> 00:23:07,209 - Like, you know. - Yeah. 620 00:23:07,234 --> 00:23:08,928 - Right? - Um... 621 00:23:08,953 --> 00:23:11,411 So are you, like, the curator of headphones, or... 622 00:23:11,436 --> 00:23:13,998 Yeah. Uh, yeah. 623 00:23:14,023 --> 00:23:15,553 Just working. Just... 624 00:23:15,578 --> 00:23:17,694 What are... What are you doing here? 625 00:23:17,719 --> 00:23:19,701 After we met, I... I... I just kind of wanted 626 00:23:19,726 --> 00:23:20,795 to check this place out. 627 00:23:20,820 --> 00:23:22,404 I mean, I know I don't really know you, 628 00:23:22,429 --> 00:23:25,318 but um, I still felt proud, 629 00:23:25,343 --> 00:23:28,654 and uh, I thought this might make me feel closer to you 630 00:23:28,679 --> 00:23:30,490 even though I knew that you wouldn't be here anymore, 631 00:23:30,514 --> 00:23:32,381 except here you are. 632 00:23:32,406 --> 00:23:33,490 [ELEVATOR DINGS] 633 00:23:33,515 --> 00:23:34,568 - Yeah. - Yeah. 634 00:23:34,593 --> 00:23:36,718 [FORCED LAUGH] It's wild. 635 00:23:37,398 --> 00:23:40,437 Hey, uh, do you want to grab a bite after work? 636 00:23:40,462 --> 00:23:44,832 Um, I have a dinner thing tonight, um, but... 637 00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:45,894 Uh, you know what? 638 00:23:45,919 --> 00:23:47,863 I just remembered I have to grab something 639 00:23:47,888 --> 00:23:50,558 from my cubicle, um, but it was so good to see you. 640 00:23:50,583 --> 00:23:52,667 I get it, you know. I'm not an idiot. 641 00:23:52,984 --> 00:23:55,527 - What do you get? [LAUGHS] - You're lying. 642 00:23:55,620 --> 00:23:56,707 My whole family's liars. 643 00:23:56,732 --> 00:23:58,621 I can tell when someone's lying to my face. 644 00:23:58,646 --> 00:24:00,480 I mean, is Darby even your real name? 645 00:24:00,505 --> 00:24:02,191 Yes. I'm... yes. 646 00:24:02,216 --> 00:24:03,286 - It's Darby Carter. - Okay. 647 00:24:03,310 --> 00:24:05,518 It's just... [GROANS] 648 00:24:07,632 --> 00:24:09,090 You're the first person I touched 649 00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:10,386 since Brianna, you know. 650 00:24:10,411 --> 00:24:12,244 I'm sor... that's a lot. 651 00:24:12,269 --> 00:24:14,566 I don't... it was a moment. 652 00:24:14,591 --> 00:24:16,270 Haven't you ever been caught up in a moment? 653 00:24:16,294 --> 00:24:17,919 I'm not a moment. 654 00:24:18,057 --> 00:24:20,140 I'm a person, 655 00:24:20,165 --> 00:24:21,668 and I helped you when you were hurt. 656 00:24:21,693 --> 00:24:23,004 You, like... what'd you do? 657 00:24:23,029 --> 00:24:25,324 You, like, used me like some kind of sex robot. 658 00:24:25,349 --> 00:24:28,175 I thought guys wanted to be treated like sex robots. 659 00:24:28,828 --> 00:24:31,464 - Nice. That's really nice. - Okay. 660 00:24:31,489 --> 00:24:33,488 Thi... I'm sorry. This isn't a big deal. 661 00:24:33,513 --> 00:24:35,769 Like, we slept together one time. 662 00:24:35,794 --> 00:24:37,605 I don't owe you anything. 663 00:24:37,630 --> 00:24:40,550 I get to decide who I fuck and who I love and whatever. 664 00:24:40,575 --> 00:24:42,325 Fine, you don't owe me anything, 665 00:24:42,350 --> 00:24:44,309 but you still fucking hurt me. 666 00:24:44,870 --> 00:24:47,088 Darby Carter, 667 00:24:47,113 --> 00:24:48,863 whoever you are. 668 00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:53,800 In truth, she knew exactly how he felt, 669 00:24:53,903 --> 00:24:56,153 and she hated hurting him. 670 00:24:56,401 --> 00:24:57,824 Danny. 671 00:24:57,849 --> 00:25:00,766 [SOFT MUSIC] 672 00:25:00,791 --> 00:25:01,972 ♪ ♪ 673 00:25:01,997 --> 00:25:03,644 I'm sorry. 674 00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:08,669 ♪ ♪ 675 00:25:09,653 --> 00:25:11,070 Still, it was nice to know 676 00:25:11,095 --> 00:25:13,705 that she could be the one who left, 677 00:25:13,950 --> 00:25:16,478 that she could be the one who got away. 678 00:25:16,503 --> 00:25:17,979 I mean, yeah, I just made an account. 679 00:25:18,003 --> 00:25:19,470 I just think staying at a hotel 680 00:25:19,495 --> 00:25:21,424 kind of defeats the purpose of the whole camper van thing. 681 00:25:21,448 --> 00:25:22,495 I'm not talking about every night. 682 00:25:22,519 --> 00:25:23,704 - Just, like, some nights. - Okay. 683 00:25:23,728 --> 00:25:25,776 Like, every night in the van? That's gonna be kind of intense. 684 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,462 We're camping. Of course it's "in tents." 685 00:25:28,487 --> 00:25:29,978 - [LAUGHS] Get it? - Yeah. 686 00:25:30,003 --> 00:25:31,004 - "In tents"? - No, it's... 687 00:25:31,028 --> 00:25:33,095 - Augie. - So good. 688 00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:34,135 Darby! 689 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:35,720 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 690 00:25:35,745 --> 00:25:36,828 Oh, my God. 691 00:25:36,853 --> 00:25:38,517 I'm surprised you guys are still in town. 692 00:25:38,542 --> 00:25:39,721 Oh, we leave tomorrow, actually. 693 00:25:39,745 --> 00:25:41,138 We're trying to be in Taos by Labor Day. 694 00:25:41,162 --> 00:25:42,338 - Amazing. - How's everything going 695 00:25:42,362 --> 00:25:43,783 with you, Darb? How's the Whitney? 696 00:25:43,808 --> 00:25:45,095 - Or the MoMA? - No, the Whitney. 697 00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:47,666 Um, it's great. I've actually gotta run. 698 00:25:47,691 --> 00:25:49,595 Like, ironically, I have a job interview. 699 00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:51,470 - Nice. What are you interviewing for? - Cool. 700 00:25:51,495 --> 00:25:53,502 Um, it's this assistant gig, 701 00:25:53,527 --> 00:25:55,587 but it's at an auction house, which could be fun. 702 00:25:55,612 --> 00:25:56,612 - Cool. - Yeah. 703 00:25:56,637 --> 00:25:57,845 - Good luck. - Thanks. 704 00:25:57,870 --> 00:25:59,310 - Good luck to you guys. - Thank you. 705 00:25:59,335 --> 00:26:01,314 So exciting. Tomorrow's the big launch? 706 00:26:01,339 --> 00:26:02,533 - Yeah, yeah. - Amazing. 707 00:26:02,558 --> 00:26:03,837 - Out on the road. - So exciting. Bye. 708 00:26:03,861 --> 00:26:05,212 - Bye! - See you. 709 00:26:05,237 --> 00:26:06,697 [CARIBOU'S "I CAN'T DO WITHOUT YOU"] 710 00:26:06,722 --> 00:26:07,722 Hi. 711 00:26:07,747 --> 00:26:09,384 I will have a chai tea latte. 712 00:26:09,409 --> 00:26:12,159 ♪ ♪ 713 00:26:12,184 --> 00:26:14,684 ♪ I can't do without you ♪ 714 00:26:15,877 --> 00:26:18,962 ♪ I can't do without you ♪ 715 00:26:19,572 --> 00:26:22,392 ♪ I can't do without you ♪ 716 00:26:22,417 --> 00:26:25,017 Babe. You gonna help me? Come on.