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00:00:18,283 --> 00:00:21,119
Growing up, the Mount
Everest of big wave riding
2
00:00:21,152 --> 00:00:22,521
was just down the street,
3
00:00:22,554 --> 00:00:25,090
and Tai Alonzo
was leading the pack.
4
00:00:25,123 --> 00:00:26,658
And I just wanted to be him.
5
00:00:26,692 --> 00:00:28,294
He was like Superman to me.
6
00:00:28,327 --> 00:00:30,096
Tai was am atomic bomb,
man.
7
00:00:30,129 --> 00:00:31,798
He blew up big time.
8
00:00:32,363 --> 00:00:34,199
He was a bomb in the water,
9
00:00:34,232 --> 00:00:38,070
and maybe too much of a bomb
on land, too.
10
00:00:38,103 --> 00:00:39,604
The first time
I saw this image
11
00:00:39,637 --> 00:00:40,839
on the cover of a magazine,
12
00:00:40,872 --> 00:00:42,674
I was like, "Oh, what is this?"
13
00:00:42,707 --> 00:00:44,543
Like, it's this guy, like,
14
00:00:44,576 --> 00:00:48,547
all like, tan and, you know,
there was a coconut tree behind.
15
00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:50,183
Oh, my God! Like, I didn't know
16
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,784
that was existing, you know?
17
00:00:51,817 --> 00:00:53,653
The fame thing,
it just builds and builds
18
00:00:53,685 --> 00:00:55,721
and everywhere you go,
it's just people wanting you.
19
00:00:55,753 --> 00:00:58,723
They want you to stand
with them at the beach.
20
00:00:58,756 --> 00:01:00,625
They want to take you
out to dinner.
21
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They want you to do something
because of the prestige
22
00:01:03,195 --> 00:01:05,065
of being with you.
23
00:01:05,430 --> 00:01:08,200
You expect him to get
covers like Surfer Magazine,
24
00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:10,635
but when he got Time Magazine,
no one could believe it.
25
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It's crazy how,
you know, sometimes
26
00:01:13,506 --> 00:01:15,341
you can be the best ever,
27
00:01:15,373 --> 00:01:17,642
but if you fly too close
to the sun,
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you're gonna get burned.
And that's it.
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00:01:19,844 --> 00:01:21,813
You hear all kinds
of stories about
30
00:01:21,846 --> 00:01:25,217
what ultimately led to his
getting booted from the tour.
31
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But to me, it's...
it's just stories.
32
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:32,191
It's part of why he's a legend.
33
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You go climb
the mountain,
34
00:01:33,691 --> 00:01:35,494
and you climb
the mountain, and eventually,
35
00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:37,130
I mean, the mountain has a slope
going down the other side,
36
00:01:37,162 --> 00:01:39,464
and there's a cliff
on the other side.
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00:01:39,498 --> 00:01:41,334
It appears that
he climbed the mountain,
38
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,302
turned around,
looked backwards, and fell over.
39
00:01:43,334 --> 00:01:45,704
You know, I don't know
what happened to Tai.
40
00:01:45,737 --> 00:01:47,572
One day he was riding
the biggest waves,
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00:01:47,605 --> 00:01:49,508
he was winning
world championships,
42
00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:51,210
he was on the cover
of magazines.
43
00:01:51,242 --> 00:01:52,711
And then,
he sort of disappeared.
44
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Mr. Alonzo!
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00:01:59,751 --> 00:02:01,153
Mr. Alonzo!
46
00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:09,394
Not cool! I was in the flow.
47
00:02:09,794 --> 00:02:10,829
We need to have a word.
48
00:02:11,563 --> 00:02:13,799
Meredith Hammer, your new
Dean of Student Affairs.
49
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,235
What, here to drop the hammer
on me?
50
00:02:17,269 --> 00:02:19,805
I know, I began my new position
today, Mr. Alonzo.
51
00:02:19,837 --> 00:02:23,608
Now, if you'll just follow
me into my office.
52
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We can talk right here.
I got some choice papayas,
53
00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:28,914
some apple bananas.
54
00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:31,284
-Some mangoes somewhere.
-No, no.
55
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:32,785
My office, now.
56
00:02:33,985 --> 00:02:36,288
Sister! Oh, I mean, Dean.
It don't have to be this way.
57
00:02:36,754 --> 00:02:38,557
I'm just showing you some aloha.
58
00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,326
I can tell she just landed.
59
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,962
Cuz, you better hurry up
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00:02:42,995 --> 00:02:45,732
before she calls up
some real cops and everything.
61
00:02:46,397 --> 00:02:47,633
What you supposed to be?
62
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,635
Security.
63
00:02:49,668 --> 00:02:50,937
Now means today,
Mr. Alonzo.
64
00:03:03,248 --> 00:03:06,218
It says here you've been
a student for 17 years.
65
00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:08,888
Oh, yeah.
Unreal how much I've learned.
66
00:03:09,388 --> 00:03:12,258
It's a scam.
67
00:03:12,691 --> 00:03:14,327
Why you gotta say it like that?
68
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,729
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe because you've taken
69
00:03:16,762 --> 00:03:20,233
Introduction to Astronomy
for 21 semesters in a row.
70
00:03:20,265 --> 00:03:24,436
Yeah, I dig the stars.
I'm on point. A minus student.
71
00:03:24,469 --> 00:03:26,938
Yeah. And you're getting
a scholarship to be here.
72
00:03:26,972 --> 00:03:28,208
100%.
73
00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:29,976
100% what?
74
00:03:30,008 --> 00:03:32,311
100% what, what?
75
00:03:33,544 --> 00:03:36,582
Okay. What are we even
talking about right now?
76
00:03:37,282 --> 00:03:40,318
Yeah, my girl Cheryl
in the financial aid department.
77
00:03:40,352 --> 00:03:42,688
She's awesome.
Fill out all my paperwork.
78
00:03:42,721 --> 00:03:43,957
Check all the boxes.
79
00:03:44,522 --> 00:03:46,591
I don't know whether
you're aware, Mr. Alonzo,
80
00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:48,693
but this college is
now part of a national
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00:03:48,727 --> 00:03:50,797
accredited institution
of higher learning.
82
00:03:52,031 --> 00:03:53,532
Yeah, I heard about that.
83
00:03:53,564 --> 00:03:55,400
Offering legitimate
degree programs.
84
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,769
Perfect, then!
I'm the perfect student.
85
00:03:57,802 --> 00:04:00,672
A minus, I would be
the perfect poster boy.
86
00:04:00,705 --> 00:04:03,275
Nope. As of today,
your scholarship's cut off.
87
00:04:03,308 --> 00:04:04,809
-What?
-Until I see you actually
88
00:04:04,842 --> 00:04:06,578
progressing through
a degree program.
89
00:04:06,611 --> 00:04:08,947
Unnecessary for being that way.
90
00:04:10,682 --> 00:04:12,684
You know what? Can't we just
maybe, you know,
91
00:04:12,717 --> 00:04:14,719
do a whole do-over--
92
00:04:14,752 --> 00:04:16,955
-We're finished for today.
-Press the reset button
93
00:04:16,988 --> 00:04:18,790
-on the whole morning.
-No reset.
94
00:04:19,791 --> 00:04:21,260
So uncool.
95
00:04:22,627 --> 00:04:25,697
Here, take this.
96
00:04:26,865 --> 00:04:32,372
Maybe, just maybe, you might
reconsider to reconsider.
97
00:04:41,779 --> 00:04:44,716
-Hey! That's my van!
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00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:46,518
That's where I stay!
99
00:04:48,687 --> 00:04:49,589
Wait!
100
00:04:53,091 --> 00:04:54,293
Wait!
101
00:04:59,497 --> 00:05:01,533
Wait! Wait!
102
00:05:05,036 --> 00:05:05,971
Wait!
103
00:05:12,810 --> 00:05:14,579
Fuck! Right there!
104
00:05:14,612 --> 00:05:16,848
That's my vehicle!
Why are you stealing my vehicle?
105
00:05:16,882 --> 00:05:19,652
-I'm just doin' my job.
-That's where I live!
106
00:05:20,752 --> 00:05:22,654
And that right there
is the board I'm shaping!
107
00:05:22,687 --> 00:05:24,789
Campus police said you've been
out there six years
108
00:05:24,822 --> 00:05:26,391
in a six-hour parking spot.
109
00:05:26,425 --> 00:05:28,494
Who cares? Nobody counting!
110
00:05:28,526 --> 00:05:30,662
That right there is my
daughter's birthday gift!
111
00:05:30,696 --> 00:05:32,865
Look, man, you can come by
the yard a little later on
112
00:05:32,898 --> 00:05:35,067
and pick it up, but you're gonna
have to pay the tow fee.
113
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:36,702
-How much?
-$500.
114
00:05:36,735 --> 00:05:38,037
Plus the impound fee.
115
00:05:38,069 --> 00:05:41,005
Cuz, me and you,
we'll cut one deal.
116
00:05:41,038 --> 00:05:45,610
-I got like $80, maybe $73.
117
00:05:45,644 --> 00:05:47,580
But it's in the vehicle!
118
00:05:47,612 --> 00:05:49,114
With my choice papayas!
119
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:53,452
So basically,
the same as...
120
00:05:53,485 --> 00:05:55,721
you know, yesterday,
and probably tomorrow.
121
00:05:55,754 --> 00:05:57,556
And I'm gonna be honest
with you folks,
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00:05:57,588 --> 00:05:59,057
probably for the rest
of the month.
123
00:05:59,091 --> 00:06:01,060
Let's take a look
at the satellite map.
124
00:06:01,093 --> 00:06:04,897
Oh, wow! Would you look at that!
No precipitation. No clouds.
125
00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:08,033
Steady daytime temperatures
of 85 degrees.
126
00:06:08,065 --> 00:06:09,534
So whatever.
127
00:06:09,567 --> 00:06:10,835
Back to you, Mahina.
128
00:06:10,869 --> 00:06:12,671
-Thank you, Doug...
-Psst.
129
00:06:12,704 --> 00:06:14,540
-...for that in-depth report.
-How'd you get in here?
130
00:06:14,572 --> 00:06:16,441
You suck as a weatherman.
131
00:06:16,475 --> 00:06:18,577
Yeah. No doubt, brah. I hate it.
132
00:06:18,610 --> 00:06:20,513
Besides, everyone just checks
their phones, anyway.
133
00:06:20,545 --> 00:06:22,447
What's the point? The weather
on the island is the same
134
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:23,715
every single day.
135
00:06:23,749 --> 00:06:25,117
Yeah, except
during hurricane season.
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00:06:25,149 --> 00:06:27,185
Oh, it's different then?
Thanks a lot, Tai.
137
00:06:27,218 --> 00:06:29,087
-Yeah.
-Guys, I'm on air.
138
00:06:29,954 --> 00:06:31,489
What are you doing here?
139
00:06:31,523 --> 00:06:32,992
Hey brah,
I need to borrow some cash.
140
00:06:33,024 --> 00:06:35,093
No, no can. Martini has me
on a budget again.
141
00:06:35,127 --> 00:06:36,829
I got kicked out of college.
142
00:06:36,862 --> 00:06:38,431
Took my van, everything.
143
00:06:38,463 --> 00:06:39,497
For real? How come?
144
00:06:39,531 --> 00:06:41,500
Some dean from the mainland
145
00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:43,102
with her panties in her bunches.
146
00:06:43,769 --> 00:06:45,504
Wait, she had her panties
in a bunch?
147
00:06:45,536 --> 00:06:47,572
You know what I mean!
She just snapped.
148
00:06:47,605 --> 00:06:49,073
Kicked me out of her school.
149
00:06:49,107 --> 00:06:51,510
Sorry to hear that.
But maybe it's time
150
00:06:51,543 --> 00:06:53,078
to pull the big boy pants on
like everyone else.
151
00:06:53,110 --> 00:06:55,880
Brah, I've been wearing this
since 2001.
152
00:06:55,913 --> 00:06:57,515
It's my lucky board shorts.
153
00:06:57,548 --> 00:06:58,883
Maybe your luck's run out.
154
00:06:58,916 --> 00:07:00,852
Or maybe, you know,
you strangled it,
155
00:07:00,886 --> 00:07:03,055
-because you got too fat.
-Hey! Shh.
156
00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:05,024
Guys, I'm live on the air.
157
00:07:06,824 --> 00:07:07,859
So what's up?
158
00:07:07,892 --> 00:07:11,062
All I need is $700 and 17 cents.
159
00:07:11,096 --> 00:07:14,233
I'll pay my child support,
my car, and my food.
160
00:07:14,266 --> 00:07:16,635
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Check this out.
161
00:07:16,668 --> 00:07:19,138
Mahina. You did that story
on Nalu Ha'i Cottages, right?
162
00:07:19,170 --> 00:07:21,172
-and what they're looking--
-Doug, I'm live on air.
163
00:07:21,206 --> 00:07:24,043
For like two people. Take it
down a notch. But for real.
164
00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:25,578
Come on. Weren't they looking
165
00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:26,778
for a surf instructor
or something?
166
00:07:26,812 --> 00:07:28,481
That was in my report.
167
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,549
-Yes.
-There you go.
168
00:07:30,581 --> 00:07:31,750
Big boy pants time.
169
00:07:32,783 --> 00:07:35,120
Here. Use my phone. Call 'em.
170
00:07:35,721 --> 00:07:38,825
Hey! You guys!
I'm trying to report the news.
171
00:07:39,223 --> 00:07:40,859
Can you please go?
172
00:07:40,892 --> 00:07:43,161
I apologize to both of you.
173
00:07:53,137 --> 00:07:54,906
Big boy pants.
174
00:07:54,939 --> 00:07:57,842
Wasn't his lesson
supposed to start at 2:00?
175
00:07:57,875 --> 00:08:00,712
2:00 Hawaiian time means more
like 2:30.
176
00:08:01,178 --> 00:08:03,681
-Okay. Well, it's almost 3:00.
-Exactly. Um...
177
00:08:03,714 --> 00:08:05,783
He's down at the Coast Guard
checking on waves
178
00:08:05,817 --> 00:08:06,651
and tidal conditions.
179
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,955
I think you should just
forget it, babe.
180
00:08:09,987 --> 00:08:12,023
Are you kidding? We just
hired the best instructor
181
00:08:12,057 --> 00:08:14,727
on the island. I mean,
you've probably heard of him.
182
00:08:14,759 --> 00:08:15,960
Tai Alonzo?
183
00:08:15,994 --> 00:08:18,063
Gonzo Alonzo.
184
00:08:18,096 --> 00:08:20,633
You definitely don't want
to miss out.
185
00:08:21,899 --> 00:08:23,134
Do you really want to do this?
186
00:08:37,048 --> 00:08:39,217
Woo-hoo!
187
00:08:42,053 --> 00:08:45,590
-You sure he's coming?
-Yeah. Totally. Um...
188
00:08:45,624 --> 00:08:47,560
Why don't you guys head down
to the beach,
189
00:08:47,592 --> 00:08:49,160
and get some sunscreen going.
190
00:08:49,193 --> 00:08:50,929
You know, that might take
a while.
191
00:08:51,663 --> 00:08:53,599
-Okay.
-Take your time.
192
00:08:54,932 --> 00:08:56,801
Totally.
193
00:09:05,644 --> 00:09:08,915
-What's up, sistah?
-Hoy! Over here.
194
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,316
-Woo!
-Over here. Tai.
195
00:09:13,118 --> 00:09:15,555
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
196
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,155
Oh, my...
197
00:09:18,056 --> 00:09:19,825
-Hey, how's it--
-You're here.
198
00:09:19,857 --> 00:09:21,593
-I love your enthusiasm.
-No.
199
00:09:21,626 --> 00:09:23,861
You were supposed to be here,
like, two hours ago.
200
00:09:23,894 --> 00:09:25,830
-What is this?
-Employment documents.
201
00:09:25,864 --> 00:09:28,367
Just sign it and get out there.
You have students waiting.
202
00:09:28,399 --> 00:09:30,234
-I have students?
-Babymooners.
203
00:09:30,268 --> 00:09:32,071
Babymooners?
What is that, babymooners?
204
00:09:32,104 --> 00:09:34,373
They're pregnant. I guess that's
what people do now.
205
00:09:34,405 --> 00:09:36,074
-They, like, surf?
-Just him.
206
00:09:36,107 --> 00:09:38,343
But she's definitely the one
wearing the pants.
207
00:09:38,909 --> 00:09:40,712
Hey, let me know
if you need pointers.
208
00:09:40,745 --> 00:09:42,780
-I can help you.
-What are you talking about?
209
00:09:42,813 --> 00:09:44,983
On the phone. You said you surf.
You, like, compete--
210
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:48,220
Nah, I'm good. Thanks.
211
00:09:48,253 --> 00:09:51,223
Remember, the flip side of fear
is commitment.
212
00:09:51,255 --> 00:09:53,291
That's a Laird Hamilton quote.
213
00:09:53,325 --> 00:09:56,796
Not even!
We said that at the same time.
214
00:09:58,764 --> 00:09:59,932
Okay.
215
00:10:03,034 --> 00:10:04,135
Oh!
216
00:10:05,269 --> 00:10:09,140
I'm loving those fierce warriors
I'm seeing this morning.
217
00:10:09,841 --> 00:10:13,212
Now, find that giggling newborn
218
00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:16,015
as you ease into
219
00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:20,019
ananda balasana.
220
00:10:21,452 --> 00:10:24,055
Oh, yeah. Looking good.
221
00:10:24,456 --> 00:10:26,859
Happy baby pose.
That's my favorite.
222
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,028
Stay focused.
223
00:10:30,028 --> 00:10:31,130
Stay with the plan.
224
00:10:32,197 --> 00:10:36,902
And imagine me feeling each
and every one of you
225
00:10:36,934 --> 00:10:40,204
with my life-giving manna.
226
00:10:40,238 --> 00:10:42,141
If you're looking for
the real stuff,
227
00:10:42,173 --> 00:10:44,842
hit me up for some surf lessons
at the beach.
228
00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:46,778
They gonna be on point.
229
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:50,816
Oh, shotay, shotay, shotay.
Oh, shotay...
230
00:10:50,849 --> 00:10:53,853
Ignore the infantile
and breathe.
231
00:10:55,052 --> 00:10:58,089
Stay focused.
Fight through with the breath.
232
00:11:03,327 --> 00:11:05,263
Aloha, everybody. Coming at you
233
00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:07,266
with today's daily rubber neck
surf check.
234
00:11:07,298 --> 00:11:09,400
And the surf today,
oh, still pretty flat.
235
00:11:09,433 --> 00:11:11,703
But gets some rogue waves
every now and then.
236
00:11:11,736 --> 00:11:14,038
You better watch out,
Don't wanna get caught by them.
237
00:11:14,072 --> 00:11:16,008
Low tide at 8:00 a.m.
238
00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:18,777
And high tide coming in
at 4:30 p.m.
239
00:11:18,809 --> 00:11:21,479
That wraps it up for today's
rubber neck surf check.
240
00:11:38,996 --> 00:11:40,732
Lose the booties,
241
00:11:40,765 --> 00:11:42,400
because we don't let nobody
know you're tourists.
242
00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:44,268
I'm sorry, who are you again?
243
00:11:44,302 --> 00:11:47,406
I usually tell my students
to lose the rashguard too.
244
00:11:47,438 --> 00:11:50,208
YouReviewHawaii.com says
that there might be urchins
245
00:11:50,241 --> 00:11:52,376
or coral heads out there.
246
00:11:52,409 --> 00:11:54,512
Don't worry about that, sistah.
I get 'em.
247
00:11:54,546 --> 00:11:57,049
This is my church.
This is my playground.
248
00:11:57,081 --> 00:11:59,751
I know every inch of this place.
249
00:11:59,784 --> 00:12:01,285
Uh, are you the guy
on the website?
250
00:12:01,318 --> 00:12:03,287
What you looking at, brah? Huh?
251
00:12:03,321 --> 00:12:05,791
It's just... she said
we'd be getting instruction
252
00:12:05,823 --> 00:12:07,391
from an actual pro surfer.
253
00:12:07,424 --> 00:12:11,129
You know Kelly Slater?
You know Laird Hamilton?
254
00:12:11,163 --> 00:12:13,065
You know Andy Irons?
Dave Kalama?
255
00:12:13,097 --> 00:12:14,899
-You know them?
-Yeah, of course, but--
256
00:12:14,932 --> 00:12:16,334
Well, then, okay!
257
00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:18,804
So you still compete, or...
258
00:12:18,836 --> 00:12:21,405
-Ranked number three.
-Okay, you are ranked
259
00:12:21,438 --> 00:12:24,008
number three, or you were ranked
number three?
260
00:12:24,042 --> 00:12:27,246
Exactly. All right.
Let's go surfing! Come on!
261
00:12:27,278 --> 00:12:30,081
♪ Ride a wave, here we go ♪
262
00:12:30,115 --> 00:12:33,218
♪ Ride a wave, here we go ♪
263
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:36,120
Don't worry. Paddle out.
Looking good. Looking good.
264
00:12:36,153 --> 00:12:38,990
-Keep paddling.
-You're doing great, babe.
265
00:12:39,024 --> 00:12:40,492
Keep paddling out.
266
00:12:40,524 --> 00:12:42,293
He's got a strong stroke.
267
00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:43,961
You've got a strong stroke!
268
00:12:43,995 --> 00:12:45,564
All right.
269
00:12:45,596 --> 00:12:47,565
Go to the right
towards the peak.
270
00:12:47,599 --> 00:12:49,334
That's right.
Paddle out to the peak.
271
00:12:49,366 --> 00:12:50,935
Go to the right!
272
00:12:50,969 --> 00:12:53,472
Right there! Keep going!
273
00:12:53,504 --> 00:12:55,507
Paddle like
he showed you!
274
00:12:56,908 --> 00:12:58,444
-Hey, let me see that.
-What?
275
00:12:59,177 --> 00:13:00,546
What is it?
276
00:13:00,578 --> 00:13:02,280
Holy!
277
00:13:03,148 --> 00:13:05,417
Holy!
278
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:07,519
Oh, my gosh.
What's happening?
279
00:13:07,552 --> 00:13:10,956
Turn the board around!
Turn the board around!
280
00:13:11,322 --> 00:13:14,826
Now paddle!
Paddle like I showed you!
281
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:17,162
Paddle like he showed you!
282
00:13:17,195 --> 00:13:19,832
-Go! Go! Go! Go!
-Go! Go!
283
00:13:23,467 --> 00:13:25,570
Swim to the light!
284
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:28,507
Do something!
I am not gonna be widow!
285
00:13:30,241 --> 00:13:32,910
Martha!
286
00:13:32,943 --> 00:13:35,112
Ah! Right there!
287
00:13:35,145 --> 00:13:37,248
-Go get him!
-Yes! Good job!
288
00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:46,425
Hoo! That was the real
stuff right there!
289
00:13:46,457 --> 00:13:49,260
Not everybody gets to experience
that the first time!
290
00:13:49,293 --> 00:13:51,429
The what? You almost killed him!
291
00:13:51,462 --> 00:13:53,965
Yeah, but you will always
remember that.
292
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:57,169
I think maybe I should
have worn the booties after all.
293
00:13:57,601 --> 00:14:00,171
Nah. Don't worry.
The best way to treat vana,
294
00:14:00,205 --> 00:14:01,573
you gotta let me piss on 'em.
295
00:14:01,605 --> 00:14:03,941
It will disinfect
and will push them out.
296
00:14:03,975 --> 00:14:05,611
-Wait, what?
-Yeah, I drain coco water.
297
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:07,079
I take care of that.
298
00:14:07,111 --> 00:14:09,480
-I just--
-Keep him right there.
299
00:14:11,682 --> 00:14:15,987
The divinity within me
honors the divinity within you.
300
00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:17,588
Namaste.
301
00:14:17,621 --> 00:14:18,923
Oh.
302
00:14:18,956 --> 00:14:20,458
-Nice work, coach.
-Brah.
303
00:14:20,491 --> 00:14:23,094
Can't you see I'm in the middle
of a surf lesson?
304
00:14:23,128 --> 00:14:25,497
As was I. A word, please?
305
00:14:26,163 --> 00:14:28,432
-Let's go.
-Baby. Hi, baby.
306
00:14:28,466 --> 00:14:30,636
You are forbidden to talk
to my students.
307
00:14:30,668 --> 00:14:33,271
Not during class,
not outside of class.
308
00:14:33,304 --> 00:14:35,273
-Not ever.
-Forget that.
309
00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:37,109
This is where we start and end.
310
00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:39,344
We've been surfing this spot
for hundreds of years.
311
00:14:39,376 --> 00:14:42,346
And your loin cloth gymnastic
yoga, that's all new.
312
00:14:42,379 --> 00:14:48,019
Yoga has been around
for literally 10,000 years.
313
00:14:48,052 --> 00:14:50,087
-So has your breath.
-What?
314
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,355
-And your BO.
-What?
315
00:14:51,389 --> 00:14:53,926
-What, you deaf?
-My breath?
316
00:14:53,958 --> 00:14:56,093
My breath is scented
with jasmine
317
00:14:56,126 --> 00:14:58,262
from the Himalayan foothills.
318
00:14:58,296 --> 00:15:01,934
Brah, I don't even know your
name, but you make no sense.
319
00:15:01,966 --> 00:15:05,169
-I make no sense?
-What? You deaf, too?
320
00:15:05,202 --> 00:15:06,638
Try this on for scent.
321
00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:17,282
The peace of inner yoga
also has a name!
322
00:15:17,315 --> 00:15:20,085
Hey! You're not even
wearing underwears!
323
00:15:20,118 --> 00:15:21,387
My practice doesn't allow it.
324
00:15:22,287 --> 00:15:24,222
-Whose breath is stinky now?
-Get off me!
325
00:15:24,254 --> 00:15:26,357
-Come on! Get off me!
326
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:30,095
Diaper boy attacked me
out of nowhere.
327
00:15:30,128 --> 00:15:31,697
Please, my name is Shivandranda.
328
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:34,566
-Whatevers.
-He was looking at my students
329
00:15:34,599 --> 00:15:38,003
with lust just oozing
from his sacral chakra.
330
00:15:38,035 --> 00:15:40,171
Brah, with that accent
where are you even from?
331
00:15:40,205 --> 00:15:42,240
I am the only one allowed
to look at them like that.
332
00:15:42,273 --> 00:15:44,376
Okay. Shh, both of you.
333
00:15:44,408 --> 00:15:46,043
Listen, I didn't want
to say anything,
334
00:15:46,076 --> 00:15:48,312
but you leave me no choice.
Here's the deal.
335
00:15:48,346 --> 00:15:50,983
Mr. Kahele is way behind
on bills.
336
00:15:51,015 --> 00:15:52,616
The hotel might get
foreclosed on.
337
00:15:52,649 --> 00:15:55,052
I thought his family owned
this place for, like, 100 years.
338
00:15:55,086 --> 00:15:57,322
If we don't get shut down
by the county first.
339
00:15:57,355 --> 00:16:00,092
-Wait, wait. County?
-Shh.
340
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:03,427
Point is, if we want to keep
our jobs, we need every guest
341
00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:05,630
to have the best experience
they've ever had.
342
00:16:05,663 --> 00:16:09,001
Yes. Each one must have a true,
343
00:16:09,033 --> 00:16:11,102
divine experience of aloha
344
00:16:11,135 --> 00:16:14,105
as do my disciples
each and every day.
345
00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:17,109
-Yeah.
346
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:19,578
Brah, brah, brah.
347
00:16:20,677 --> 00:16:23,347
Brah. Hey.
348
00:16:23,380 --> 00:16:27,018
The Babymooners, you really
messed them up today, brah.
349
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:29,087
Those two?
He'll never go surfing again.
350
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,156
And you never lose money
off of them.
351
00:16:31,188 --> 00:16:33,224
No, I'm not
in the surfing business.
352
00:16:33,258 --> 00:16:35,527
I'm in the hotel business.
353
00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:38,229
You ever heard of
YouReviewHawaii.com?
354
00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:40,599
The wife
has super viewer status.
355
00:16:40,631 --> 00:16:44,368
A bad review from her gets read
by thousands of people.
356
00:16:44,402 --> 00:16:47,472
-Thousands.
-Thousands upon thousands.
357
00:16:47,504 --> 00:16:49,340
I think you guys
are all exaggerating.
358
00:16:49,374 --> 00:16:50,275
No.
359
00:16:51,509 --> 00:16:55,180
She wrote a glowing review about
the Ka'anapali Beach Hotel.
360
00:16:55,212 --> 00:16:57,348
Which got picked up
by The Huffington Post.
361
00:16:57,682 --> 00:17:00,118
Okay. I'll go talk to 'em.
362
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:02,353
-Hoo! You do that.
-Shh.
363
00:17:02,386 --> 00:17:05,589
Brah. I know back in the day,
364
00:17:05,623 --> 00:17:07,626
you were somebody,
a big-time surfer.
365
00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:10,495
I respect that.
Alonzo Galonzo, Galonzo Alonzo.
366
00:17:10,528 --> 00:17:13,065
I respect that.
But you gotta respect us, brah.
367
00:17:13,097 --> 00:17:16,267
This hotel, this place,
has been in my ohana
368
00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:19,070
way before missionary times.
369
00:17:19,837 --> 00:17:22,840
Kings and queens would stay
right here.
370
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:27,112
My ohana made like a refuge.
A safe haven for everybody.
371
00:17:27,144 --> 00:17:29,080
Yes, boss, I already told him
all of this.
372
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:31,083
He just doesn't listen,
you know?
373
00:17:31,115 --> 00:17:32,550
-Shh!
-Okay.
374
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,353
Bro, we also had
plenty of celebrities.
375
00:17:35,385 --> 00:17:38,222
Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra.
376
00:17:38,256 --> 00:17:39,825
-You know JFK?
-Yeah.
377
00:17:39,857 --> 00:17:41,792
JFK and Marilyn Monroe, brother,
378
00:17:41,826 --> 00:17:43,095
they'd come over here
in a disguise,
379
00:17:43,127 --> 00:17:44,428
take Cottage Number Six.
380
00:17:44,461 --> 00:17:45,863
-You know what I mean?
-For real?
381
00:17:45,896 --> 00:17:47,865
For real, brah. I no kid you.
382
00:17:47,898 --> 00:17:50,435
And I know you would never
disrespect...
383
00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:55,274
the Holy Trinity.
384
00:17:58,476 --> 00:18:00,145
Definitely not, boss.
385
00:18:01,211 --> 00:18:02,480
My cousins.
386
00:18:03,848 --> 00:18:07,418
Each one of them have enjoyed
our ohana's hospitality.
387
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:09,521
So you know what
I'm gonna do, brah?
388
00:18:09,554 --> 00:18:11,456
I'm gonna cut you some slack.
389
00:18:11,489 --> 00:18:13,658
'Cause I like you. And I really
need a surf instructor here.
390
00:18:13,691 --> 00:18:15,393
And you can make Hawaii
great again.
391
00:18:15,425 --> 00:18:17,394
All you need to do
is make things right
392
00:18:17,428 --> 00:18:19,865
with the Honeymooners.
The Honeyboomers.
393
00:18:19,897 --> 00:18:23,767
The Honeybabes. Make it right.
Make it pono.
394
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,604
-Make it right.
-Yes, make it pononui.
395
00:18:26,637 --> 00:18:28,673
With them and with me.
396
00:18:30,708 --> 00:18:34,179
I forgive you, hermano.
Embrace me.
397
00:18:34,211 --> 00:18:35,779
-Just get it over with.
-No.
398
00:18:35,813 --> 00:18:37,349
Why's he always
got to do this?
399
00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:39,684
-Aw, man.
-Hold me, big man.
400
00:18:39,717 --> 00:18:41,820
-Okay.
-Let our natural chakras
401
00:18:41,853 --> 00:18:43,455
commingle.
402
00:18:43,488 --> 00:18:45,223
Oh, man, this
is getting weird, okay?
403
00:18:45,256 --> 00:18:46,658
We don't have this kind of time.
404
00:18:46,691 --> 00:18:48,593
-No, it's not weird.
-It is weird.
405
00:18:48,625 --> 00:18:50,194
-No, it's weird.
-We are one.
406
00:18:50,228 --> 00:18:51,630
No, we're not.
407
00:18:55,633 --> 00:18:58,270
Remember, your eyes
are the steering wheel.
408
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,739
Your core is your engine.
The .
409
00:19:00,771 --> 00:19:02,773
Where your power pumps are.
410
00:19:04,842 --> 00:19:08,313
♪ Movement with the ocean
And the surf ♪
411
00:19:08,346 --> 00:19:10,782
♪ Is breaking away ♪
412
00:19:14,384 --> 00:19:16,654
♪ The sun is high ♪
413
00:19:20,525 --> 00:19:22,194
Ya-hoo!
414
00:19:23,961 --> 00:19:25,463
Nice!
415
00:19:27,632 --> 00:19:30,903
Perfect! You listened
to instructions perfectly!
416
00:19:31,769 --> 00:19:33,505
I couldn't hear anything
you were saying.
417
00:19:33,538 --> 00:19:35,207
-Yeah, right.
-No, serious.
418
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,742
I didn't hear a thing you said.
419
00:19:37,307 --> 00:19:40,211
Hey, you know what? We'll review
everything tomorrow.
420
00:19:40,244 --> 00:19:42,246
Okay? Perfect first sesh.
421
00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:43,916
You're going out?
422
00:20:01,598 --> 00:20:04,868
Hey! No gliders over here!
Get out of the water!
423
00:20:04,902 --> 00:20:06,672
No gliders over here!
424
00:20:08,573 --> 00:20:11,843
Only surfers, no gliders!
No gliders!
425
00:20:11,875 --> 00:20:15,479
Ha ha! This is for gliders. Woo!
426
00:20:19,951 --> 00:20:21,486
White boy, let's rap!
427
00:20:21,519 --> 00:20:23,888
Hey! Come on! Wait, come back!
428
00:20:23,921 --> 00:20:26,458
Come on back! Come on!
429
00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:29,360
You hang up there!
I only say that because
430
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:33,031
-I can see it when you fly over!
-Woo-hoo!
431
00:20:33,064 --> 00:20:35,534
Come on, boy, let's go!
432
00:20:38,869 --> 00:20:41,339
This is our spot.
Get out of here.
433
00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:45,376
Careless meth nut!
434
00:20:49,946 --> 00:20:51,482
Dougie!
435
00:20:59,891 --> 00:21:01,960
-Dougie boy!
-What?
436
00:21:01,992 --> 00:21:03,594
Dougie!
437
00:21:03,627 --> 00:21:05,429
He doesn't live here anymore.
438
00:21:05,462 --> 00:21:06,730
-Again?
-Yeah.
439
00:21:06,763 --> 00:21:08,332
-You kick him out again?
-Uh-huh.
440
00:21:08,365 --> 00:21:10,000
I was just talking to him
the other day.
441
00:21:10,034 --> 00:21:11,737
-Everything seemed to be good.
-Bye.
442
00:21:12,603 --> 00:21:14,706
-Psst. Hey!
-Dougie!
443
00:21:17,607 --> 00:21:19,610
What up, brah?
Got kicked out again?
444
00:21:19,644 --> 00:21:21,413
For buying a new
video game system.
445
00:21:21,445 --> 00:21:22,513
So?
446
00:21:23,647 --> 00:21:25,349
And I stole some
of her pakalolo.
447
00:21:25,383 --> 00:21:27,619
-Okay?
-Okay, shh. All right?
448
00:21:28,051 --> 00:21:31,021
And she thinks I'm flirting too
much with the intern at work.
449
00:21:31,055 --> 00:21:32,658
-You did that?
-No.
450
00:21:35,026 --> 00:21:37,762
Okay, maybe. And the other day,
451
00:21:37,795 --> 00:21:39,597
the chick actually smiled at me.
452
00:21:39,630 --> 00:21:42,000
Like, a friendly smile.
You know those kind it's like...
453
00:21:42,733 --> 00:21:44,335
-You know?
-Feel good.
454
00:21:44,368 --> 00:21:46,770
-It felt real good.
455
00:21:46,804 --> 00:21:49,107
-Anyway, what's up?
-I got that job.
456
00:21:49,140 --> 00:21:51,910
Oh, shoot!
Brah, congratulations.
457
00:21:51,942 --> 00:21:54,478
But I didn't get
my van back yet.
458
00:21:54,511 --> 00:21:56,981
So I was hoping maybe
I can sleep your place.
459
00:21:57,714 --> 00:22:00,584
Brah, there's no way. I was
just about to come cruise down
460
00:22:00,617 --> 00:22:03,421
and check you out to see if I
could crash with you in the van.
461
00:22:04,821 --> 00:22:06,624
Hey, we'll dig.
We'll figure something out.
462
00:22:18,603 --> 00:22:20,906
Hey! I know it's you.
463
00:22:22,606 --> 00:22:25,943
Listen. Finish mowing,
464
00:22:25,977 --> 00:22:28,113
I'll pay you $20
at the end of the week.
465
00:22:28,145 --> 00:22:29,880
-For real?
-All yours.
466
00:22:31,749 --> 00:22:34,052
But no messing around. Okay?
467
00:22:34,085 --> 00:22:37,622
-Who's that?
-Eh! Nobody.
468
00:22:38,489 --> 00:22:41,126
Best run.
I'm gonna sit on your ugly ass.
469
00:22:41,159 --> 00:22:43,528
Don't sit. I gotta go.
470
00:22:44,429 --> 00:22:46,164
Cannot bring your homeless
friends to work.
471
00:22:46,196 --> 00:22:48,432
I don't even know
who that guy is.
472
00:22:48,465 --> 00:22:52,069
Hey, so what? I can get a cash
advance for the lawn mowing?
473
00:22:52,769 --> 00:22:54,071
Mm... no.
474
00:22:54,971 --> 00:22:56,740
Don't forget the Babymooners.
475
00:22:56,773 --> 00:22:59,009
Make it pono. Make it what?
476
00:22:59,042 --> 00:23:02,112
-Hey? Make it what?
-Pono.
477
00:23:02,145 --> 00:23:03,714
Pono.
478
00:23:05,583 --> 00:23:07,052
Yeah.
479
00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:42,053
Wait! Ho! Wait!
480
00:23:43,788 --> 00:23:46,024
Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hold up.
481
00:23:46,590 --> 00:23:49,126
Hey, I just wanted to apologize
about yesterday.
482
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,130
Swami boy, he can be
a prima donna.
483
00:23:52,163 --> 00:23:53,932
We are cutting
the babymoon short.
484
00:23:53,964 --> 00:23:55,732
There's no use in being
on vacation
485
00:23:55,766 --> 00:23:57,802
-with him in pain like this.
-Why?
486
00:23:57,835 --> 00:24:00,205
We have so much to do here
in the Islands.
487
00:24:00,238 --> 00:24:02,474
-Oh, yeah? Name one.
-Yoga.
488
00:24:02,507 --> 00:24:04,676
Oh, pfft. What?
For like $90 a session?
489
00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:06,978
No, no, everything on the house.
490
00:24:07,010 --> 00:24:11,915
I'm talking golf, surfing,
we have deep sea diving.
491
00:24:11,949 --> 00:24:14,853
We can do, you ever did
paper, scissors, stone?
492
00:24:14,885 --> 00:24:18,055
Huh? We got dot-to-dots,
Connect Four--
493
00:24:18,088 --> 00:24:20,924
All right. We'll try the yoga.
But no more surfing.
494
00:24:20,958 --> 00:24:22,160
-Ever.
-Okay.
495
00:24:22,192 --> 00:24:23,260
-Okay.
-Yeah.
496
00:24:23,294 --> 00:24:24,629
Come on.
497
00:24:29,066 --> 00:24:31,136
So, you guys want me
to get your bags?
498
00:24:42,078 --> 00:24:44,181
-You work here?
-Why? Who are you?
499
00:24:44,214 --> 00:24:46,583
Are you or are you not employed
by this hotel?
500
00:24:46,616 --> 00:24:48,252
Brah, do I even know you?
501
00:24:49,153 --> 00:24:51,022
Come on, man.
Just answer my question.
502
00:24:51,055 --> 00:24:53,058
Why? You a cop? Fed?
503
00:24:54,224 --> 00:24:56,494
Dude, that wasn't even here
this morning.
504
00:24:57,028 --> 00:24:59,030
Oh, so you do work here.
505
00:24:59,963 --> 00:25:01,999
What is this supposed
to even be?
506
00:25:02,032 --> 00:25:04,234
I'll tell you what it is.
It's vulgar.
507
00:25:04,268 --> 00:25:07,739
And it's a clear violation
of Code 14716527A
508
00:25:07,771 --> 00:25:10,241
of the Hotel and Recreation
Use Act of 2014.
509
00:25:11,174 --> 00:25:13,310
Yeah, well, it looks like
somebody squatting
510
00:25:13,344 --> 00:25:15,213
-and taking a dump.
-Come on, man.
511
00:25:15,246 --> 00:25:16,681
Yeah, because, look,
512
00:25:16,713 --> 00:25:18,315
if you look good,
they're squatting,
513
00:25:18,348 --> 00:25:20,083
and you get boom, boom.
514
00:25:20,116 --> 00:25:22,319
It's gonna cost the hotel
$1,000.
515
00:25:22,353 --> 00:25:24,989
And it's gonna cost them $500
516
00:25:25,021 --> 00:25:27,057
for each additional day
it's there.
517
00:25:28,826 --> 00:25:30,629
Give that to your boss.
518
00:25:31,628 --> 00:25:34,131
It's a self-portrait of a guy,
that's what that is.
519
00:25:34,164 --> 00:25:36,567
-Taking a dump.
-I heard that.
520
00:25:36,601 --> 00:25:40,138
Whoa. Like bionic ears
and stuff.
521
00:25:40,171 --> 00:25:42,173
-Whoa.
-I can still hear you!
522
00:25:42,205 --> 00:25:43,807
This thing's supposed
to be on top of the roof.
523
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:44,942
I thought they were going
on the side.
524
00:25:44,976 --> 00:25:46,110
-Hey, boss.
-Yeah?
525
00:25:46,143 --> 00:25:48,012
The county inspector came by.
526
00:25:48,045 --> 00:25:50,148
They're gonna fine you because
of the graffiti on the wall.
527
00:25:50,181 --> 00:25:51,816
Shoot, brah! I knew that guy.
528
00:25:51,848 --> 00:25:53,884
He's gonna kill me
and make me maki.
529
00:25:53,917 --> 00:25:55,152
I'm tellin' you, boss.
It's a scam.
530
00:25:55,185 --> 00:25:56,787
What are you talkin' about, Tai?
531
00:25:56,820 --> 00:25:58,255
I think they're trying
to squeeze you out.
532
00:25:58,288 --> 00:25:59,923
Oh, brah,
I never think about that.
533
00:25:59,957 --> 00:26:01,626
I didn't think about that one.
534
00:26:01,659 --> 00:26:02,760
Hey boss, if you
need somebody for dig around,
535
00:26:02,792 --> 00:26:04,595
I'm your dig around guy.
536
00:26:05,328 --> 00:26:06,964
Okay, dig around guy,
I tell you what.
537
00:26:06,998 --> 00:26:09,200
You get any information,
and you got
538
00:26:09,232 --> 00:26:10,935
another $20 for
you at payday. Okay?
539
00:26:11,301 --> 00:26:12,836
Hey, boss,
I got another question.
540
00:26:12,869 --> 00:26:14,605
I know it's not
the right time, but...
541
00:26:14,638 --> 00:26:16,340
-Qué? Qué?
-You know my daughter, Alana?
542
00:26:16,374 --> 00:26:18,710
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-I get her one weekend
543
00:26:18,742 --> 00:26:20,344
-for the whole month.
-Uh-huh.
544
00:26:20,978 --> 00:26:22,347
She from the big island, boss.
545
00:26:23,047 --> 00:26:24,382
And I was thinking, you know,
546
00:26:24,414 --> 00:26:26,216
she usually stay with me
547
00:26:26,250 --> 00:26:27,852
-in my van.
548
00:26:27,884 --> 00:26:29,620
The van's in the shop and...
549
00:26:29,653 --> 00:26:32,189
I'm looking around,
you got some vacancies.
550
00:26:32,222 --> 00:26:34,291
You think you can hook her up
with a room?
551
00:26:37,928 --> 00:26:39,164
Vacancies?
552
00:26:40,798 --> 00:26:44,669
You pay, can can.
No pay, no can.
553
00:26:45,102 --> 00:26:46,004
Let's go.
554
00:26:48,038 --> 00:26:49,706
Do you know how to fix
solar panels?
555
00:26:49,740 --> 00:26:52,110
I did one installation
and I took a repair class
556
00:26:52,143 --> 00:26:53,144
a couple years back.
557
00:26:53,978 --> 00:26:55,080
If you can fix them...
558
00:26:55,846 --> 00:26:57,949
and repaint the wall
with the graffiti,
559
00:26:58,449 --> 00:27:01,853
then, I'll throw in another $20
come payday.
560
00:27:01,885 --> 00:27:04,221
Hey, uh, you think
I can get an advance?
561
00:27:06,923 --> 00:27:08,892
Oh, also,
boss said you need to fill in
562
00:27:08,925 --> 00:27:10,727
for the tennis pro later today.
563
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,196
A couple from China just booked.
564
00:27:28,813 --> 00:27:31,149
Okay! Whenever you're ready!
565
00:27:31,414 --> 00:27:34,184
Let's warm up nice and slow.
566
00:27:45,962 --> 00:27:49,233
Good one! Good.
Plenty of power right there.
567
00:27:49,900 --> 00:27:52,937
Maybe we can work on your lobs,
like the real high ones.
568
00:27:52,970 --> 00:27:57,341
No, no, no. My wife wants
to work on her first serve.
569
00:27:57,374 --> 00:27:59,911
It's most important part
of game.
570
00:27:59,943 --> 00:28:03,013
All right. Okay.
Give me one minute.
571
00:28:03,047 --> 00:28:04,983
Ow, my nutsack.
572
00:28:05,849 --> 00:28:08,852
No, no, no.
The first serve. The serve.
573
00:28:09,286 --> 00:28:11,823
Yeah, well, this is how
I like to do it sometimes.
574
00:28:17,461 --> 00:28:19,964
Oh!
575
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,237
Hold on, sistah.
Not much I can teach you there.
576
00:28:27,037 --> 00:28:28,740
I was thinkin' maybe...
577
00:28:29,507 --> 00:28:32,177
today, maybe tomorrow,
578
00:28:32,977 --> 00:28:34,779
do a surfing lesson?
579
00:28:36,113 --> 00:28:38,750
-Huh?
-Okay. But lob practice first.
580
00:28:38,782 --> 00:28:41,151
Okay. Lob practice first.
581
00:28:41,919 --> 00:28:43,955
All right, then. Okay.
582
00:29:27,263 --> 00:29:28,532
What the hell is that?
583
00:29:30,534 --> 00:29:32,870
Hey! No pigs in the water!
584
00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:36,474
See the wave coming?
585
00:29:36,507 --> 00:29:38,509
Right. Now, get up!
Come on, big boy! Get up!
586
00:29:38,541 --> 00:29:40,944
There you-- Ah! No!
587
00:29:41,846 --> 00:29:45,383
I see it. Fire of a champion.
I love the hunger.
588
00:29:45,415 --> 00:29:47,885
Yeah. Surfing's my passion.
589
00:29:48,885 --> 00:29:51,254
She placed third in a contest
in Manhattan Beach.
590
00:29:51,288 --> 00:29:52,990
That's why I brought her
out here.
591
00:29:53,022 --> 00:29:54,090
She said she wants
592
00:29:54,124 --> 00:29:55,927
-to place first.
-Oh, yeah?
593
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,595
We're actually here 'cause
she just got divorced.
594
00:29:57,627 --> 00:29:59,462
-You shut it.
-Again.
595
00:29:59,496 --> 00:30:01,199
I am warning you, Maya.
596
00:30:02,266 --> 00:30:04,368
Thing is, I actually already
know how to surf.
597
00:30:04,401 --> 00:30:08,005
-I really don't need a lesson.
-See, that's where you're wrong.
598
00:30:08,038 --> 00:30:10,942
It doesn't matter
at what level you are,
599
00:30:10,974 --> 00:30:13,877
everybody can improve.
Everybody.
600
00:30:13,911 --> 00:30:16,014
Yeah, preach, preacher.
601
00:30:16,913 --> 00:30:19,349
You better listen to this little
sermon, you hear me?
602
00:30:19,383 --> 00:30:23,154
Yeah, I do, and I noticed
that he said everybody can.
603
00:30:23,186 --> 00:30:24,988
Maybe you should work on
yourself, Mom.
604
00:30:25,521 --> 00:30:27,991
All right. All right. All right.
Hey, that's enough.
605
00:30:28,025 --> 00:30:30,561
Hey, you know what?
You know how I calm down?
606
00:30:30,594 --> 00:30:33,231
-I jump in the water.
-Great. So I can paddle out?
607
00:30:33,263 --> 00:30:35,966
Yeah. Go ahead.
we'll be out there in a second.
608
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,201
I'm gonna talk to your mom
a little bit, you know.
609
00:30:38,234 --> 00:30:40,437
-Go over the basics.
-Okay.
610
00:30:42,405 --> 00:30:44,307
You got a good girl there.
611
00:30:44,340 --> 00:30:47,043
She's a spoiled brat.
You see how she talks to me?
612
00:30:47,076 --> 00:30:48,879
Well, you know how
teenagers are.
613
00:30:49,279 --> 00:30:52,282
It's her father's fault.
He is a full-blown narcissist.
614
00:30:52,316 --> 00:30:54,552
Yeah, but you saw her do this.
615
00:30:54,585 --> 00:30:56,621
She understands
there's a higher power.
616
00:30:56,653 --> 00:30:59,990
Oh, she's just pretending to be
a good little Christian girl.
617
00:31:00,023 --> 00:31:03,026
Really, she's vicious and cruel.
Don't trust her.
618
00:31:03,527 --> 00:31:04,596
Oh, yeah?
619
00:31:06,262 --> 00:31:07,464
-Question.
-Yeah?
620
00:31:08,432 --> 00:31:10,968
Do surf instructors
ever get lonely?
621
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,971
This is all new to me.
622
00:31:14,538 --> 00:31:16,241
What If I told you...
623
00:31:17,540 --> 00:31:22,012
that I like to give
really big...
624
00:31:22,946 --> 00:31:24,615
-tips.
625
00:31:25,715 --> 00:31:27,617
You know, it just
came to me that,
626
00:31:27,651 --> 00:31:30,421
you know the yoga instructor?
He's lonely.
627
00:31:31,087 --> 00:31:33,056
You know what I'm noticing
right now?
628
00:31:33,089 --> 00:31:35,558
I'm just really into
your skin color.
629
00:31:35,592 --> 00:31:38,162
Hey, Tai. Over here real quick.
630
00:31:38,194 --> 00:31:40,530
Hey, that's my manager.
631
00:31:40,564 --> 00:31:43,134
Hold on for a second.
I'll be right back.
632
00:31:43,701 --> 00:31:47,505
Okay, my little dirty
chai latte. I'll be waiting.
633
00:31:48,172 --> 00:31:51,575
-No flirting with the guests.
-She called me chai latte.
634
00:31:51,607 --> 00:31:53,576
Okay. No going back
to their rooms.
635
00:31:53,609 --> 00:31:57,047
-No hanky-panky in the bushes.
-You gotta be joking.
636
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:58,448
Why would I be joking?
637
00:31:58,481 --> 00:32:00,150
You seeing that action?
638
00:32:00,183 --> 00:32:02,285
That was one hot,
vicious cougar,
639
00:32:02,318 --> 00:32:04,521
fangs out, she was going for it.
640
00:32:04,555 --> 00:32:07,992
Okay. Point is,
you gotta stop screwing up.
641
00:32:08,025 --> 00:32:10,428
If occupancy rates drop more,
we're gonna get laid off.
642
00:32:10,461 --> 00:32:12,597
Well, good, maybe
more time for surf.
643
00:32:13,130 --> 00:32:14,598
I know that's how
you like to live,
644
00:32:14,631 --> 00:32:16,634
but you can't expect the rest
of us to also.
645
00:32:16,666 --> 00:32:20,403
Used to be like that for me.
Prize money. Sponsorship.
646
00:32:20,436 --> 00:32:21,972
But I wasn't happy.
647
00:32:23,272 --> 00:32:24,174
And you are now?
648
00:32:27,076 --> 00:32:29,479
Look. I have the ocean.
649
00:32:29,512 --> 00:32:32,015
I get my daughter once a month.
650
00:32:32,648 --> 00:32:35,118
Once a month?
And that's cool with you?
651
00:32:37,121 --> 00:32:39,457
Seriously? You never wanted
to compete again
652
00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:41,492
after you got booted
from the tour?
653
00:32:41,525 --> 00:32:44,161
Doesn't it piss you off
to see all the other ex-pros
654
00:32:44,193 --> 00:32:46,730
with big houses
and endorsement deals?
655
00:32:48,365 --> 00:32:50,702
Okay. Well, I haven't had
my shot yet.
656
00:32:51,300 --> 00:32:54,538
I want to go pro.
But to do that takes money.
657
00:32:55,105 --> 00:32:57,342
-Well, get a sponsor.
-That's the thing.
658
00:32:57,708 --> 00:32:59,477
No one will sponsor me
unless I score big
659
00:32:59,509 --> 00:33:01,411
at one of the contests.
And to do that,
660
00:33:01,444 --> 00:33:04,514
I have to have time to train.
Find a coach.
661
00:33:05,148 --> 00:33:07,117
Well, you don't have to worry
about a coach,
662
00:33:07,151 --> 00:33:08,552
you got one right here.
663
00:33:08,585 --> 00:33:10,321
I've been doing this
for a long time.
664
00:33:10,354 --> 00:33:11,655
Look how you ended up.
665
00:33:11,688 --> 00:33:13,524
-Oh. Shoot.
666
00:33:13,557 --> 00:33:16,027
I have to get back
to reception, but...
667
00:33:17,060 --> 00:33:19,796
just try to keep your
board shorts on, okay?
668
00:33:19,829 --> 00:33:22,499
A hundred percent.
Rash guard, too.
669
00:33:22,532 --> 00:33:23,533
Good.
670
00:33:33,777 --> 00:33:34,679
Look at you.
671
00:33:35,612 --> 00:33:37,382
Hey!
672
00:33:38,749 --> 00:33:42,253
-Oh. How was your flight?
-Good. Good.
673
00:33:43,319 --> 00:33:45,088
So what? You actually have
a job now?
674
00:33:45,122 --> 00:33:47,258
Yeah, surf instructor. But...
675
00:33:47,290 --> 00:33:49,459
you know, they got me doing
everything over here.
676
00:33:50,227 --> 00:33:51,829
You know, I got cut off
at the college.
677
00:33:51,862 --> 00:33:53,431
Cut off? How?
678
00:33:53,463 --> 00:33:55,098
Yeah. You know that scholarship
679
00:33:55,132 --> 00:33:56,767
that I was using
for my living expenses,
680
00:33:56,799 --> 00:33:59,803
-paying for your child support¿
-Mom said you're behind.
681
00:33:59,836 --> 00:34:02,539
-By like this much.
-Like, by three grand.
682
00:34:02,573 --> 00:34:05,709
And she said if you don't pay
then I can't see you next month.
683
00:34:05,741 --> 00:34:08,778
Hey, you know, I got a special
birthday gift for you.
684
00:34:08,811 --> 00:34:10,613
I don't need anything, Dad.
685
00:34:10,646 --> 00:34:12,616
Just please pay her
what you owe her.
686
00:34:13,550 --> 00:34:15,619
Hey, see that? That's your room.
687
00:34:15,652 --> 00:34:17,555
-Really?
-Yeah, yeah. Don't get excited.
688
00:34:17,588 --> 00:34:20,424
It's not the presidential suite
or anything like that,
689
00:34:20,456 --> 00:34:23,193
but it's something, you know?
690
00:34:23,860 --> 00:34:25,629
Wow. It's nice.
691
00:34:26,262 --> 00:34:27,731
Hey, by the way, how's Mom?
692
00:34:29,398 --> 00:34:30,867
Why you looking at me like that?
693
00:34:30,900 --> 00:34:32,435
Because you're looking at me
like that.
694
00:34:32,469 --> 00:34:34,338
All puppy dog eyes.
Come on, Dad.
695
00:34:34,371 --> 00:34:36,173
Your chances are not good.
696
00:34:36,206 --> 00:34:37,508
Why not?
697
00:34:37,541 --> 00:34:39,243
Because you owe her
a lot of money.
698
00:34:39,275 --> 00:34:42,178
And you already messed it up
like 150 times.
699
00:34:42,211 --> 00:34:44,347
Yeah, you're right,
like your mom.
700
00:34:44,380 --> 00:34:46,683
Look, I have a lot
to do around here.
701
00:34:46,717 --> 00:34:49,553
I have to teach surf lessons.
Maybe teach a yoga class.
702
00:34:49,585 --> 00:34:51,721
Tennis. I gotta put up
solar panels.
703
00:34:51,755 --> 00:34:55,326
I gotta paint a wall.
Look, you hang out.
704
00:34:55,358 --> 00:34:58,628
Go surf. Room service!
It's all yours.
705
00:34:59,228 --> 00:35:02,332
-Thanks, Dad. Love you.
-Love you, too. Come on.
706
00:35:02,365 --> 00:35:03,467
All right.
707
00:35:18,849 --> 00:35:21,418
Yo, brother.
Brother, I'm right here.
708
00:35:21,451 --> 00:35:23,187
Right in front of you. Look.
709
00:35:25,956 --> 00:35:28,826
No, no, no. No, no.
I got one quick question.
710
00:35:35,331 --> 00:35:38,435
There. Now, you may speak.
711
00:35:38,802 --> 00:35:40,437
All right.
You know those babymooners?
712
00:35:40,469 --> 00:35:42,172
They're taking your classes
the whole week.
713
00:35:42,206 --> 00:35:43,841
Wonderful, Tai. Thanks.
714
00:35:43,873 --> 00:35:45,375
Have them book with Kaila.
715
00:35:45,909 --> 00:35:47,945
Here's the deal.
You gotta do it for free
716
00:35:47,978 --> 00:35:49,847
because that's the deal
I gave them.
717
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:51,515
So you will be paying, then.
718
00:35:51,547 --> 00:35:53,250
It's not for me,
it's for the hotel.
719
00:35:53,650 --> 00:35:55,920
I don't know, like,
they're super reviewers.
720
00:35:55,952 --> 00:36:00,290
A bad review would be the result
of your pathetic lesson.
721
00:36:00,324 --> 00:36:02,627
Come on, bro.
It's no cost to you.
722
00:36:02,925 --> 00:36:08,798
However, it would cost you $90
per person per session.
723
00:36:08,831 --> 00:36:10,500
What? No more employee discount?
724
00:36:11,367 --> 00:36:13,336
Perhaps you didn't hear me.
725
00:36:14,271 --> 00:36:18,309
Ninety dollars per person
per session.
726
00:36:18,809 --> 00:36:20,545
That accent, where are you from?
727
00:36:30,686 --> 00:36:32,923
Two words: breath mint.
728
00:36:34,391 --> 00:36:35,293
Think about it.
729
00:36:55,811 --> 00:36:57,614
Oh, it's you.
You here for the van?
730
00:36:57,648 --> 00:36:59,416
-Is that a...
-Yeah.
731
00:36:59,449 --> 00:37:01,952
-It's a blue ribbon attack pig.
-Can I pet it?
732
00:37:01,985 --> 00:37:04,622
Go ahead. He might take
your arm off, though.
733
00:37:04,655 --> 00:37:05,623
For real?
734
00:37:07,356 --> 00:37:08,992
-Nah, nah.
-Go ahead.
735
00:37:09,025 --> 00:37:11,327
Pet him. Sweetest creature
you'll ever meet.
736
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:14,497
No, no. I'm good. Hey, look.
I got like $23 in my pocket,
737
00:37:14,530 --> 00:37:17,000
and maybe, possibly,
$70 in my van.
738
00:37:17,034 --> 00:37:19,603
Look, tow bill alone
is $600, man.
739
00:37:19,635 --> 00:37:22,005
-You told me it was $500.
-Inflation, man.
740
00:37:22,039 --> 00:37:24,575
Plus, every night, man,
it goes up another $50.
741
00:37:24,608 --> 00:37:27,544
-Bro, why you gotta do this?
-Brah, I'm just doin' my job.
742
00:37:27,577 --> 00:37:29,346
You don't think
you can help me out?
743
00:37:29,378 --> 00:37:31,681
Maybe put me on a payment plan,
like child support?
744
00:37:31,715 --> 00:37:33,917
Wish I could, man.
But I got bills to pay too.
745
00:37:33,949 --> 00:37:36,686
Thing is, bro, the vehicle
doesn't even run right now.
746
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:39,256
Look, man, $400 is the best
I can do, brother.
747
00:37:39,956 --> 00:37:43,661
-I don't got it.
-Well, come back when you do.
748
00:37:43,693 --> 00:37:45,996
You think I can get
my daughter's surfboard?
749
00:38:13,824 --> 00:38:15,826
-Hey.
-Hi.
750
00:38:18,094 --> 00:38:19,896
Hi, aloha, I'm Gina.
I'm in charge
751
00:38:19,929 --> 00:38:21,564
of sponsorship opportunities.
752
00:38:21,597 --> 00:38:23,333
Well, thanks for meeting up
with me.
753
00:38:23,367 --> 00:38:26,503
Yeah. So who do you want
to pitch to me?
754
00:38:26,536 --> 00:38:29,473
-Oh, we'll talk over here?
-Right, right here.
755
00:38:29,505 --> 00:38:31,641
Oh, it's not for me.
It's for my student.
756
00:38:31,675 --> 00:38:33,911
Kaila Vincent.
You guys gotta sponsor her.
757
00:38:33,943 --> 00:38:36,679
-Okay. Is she ranked?
-Trust me.
758
00:38:36,713 --> 00:38:38,949
You gotta get in on the ground
floor with this one.
759
00:38:39,583 --> 00:38:41,419
Who are you again?
760
00:38:42,552 --> 00:38:45,423
-You asking me that for real?
-Yeah. Yeah. Who are you?
761
00:38:46,389 --> 00:38:49,058
Sistah. Right there.
See there? Huh?
762
00:38:49,092 --> 00:38:50,661
In the flesh.
763
00:38:51,594 --> 00:38:53,063
-Gonzo Alonzo?
-Yeah.
764
00:38:55,097 --> 00:38:57,400
Sorry. They said
you just fell off the radar.
765
00:38:57,434 --> 00:38:58,869
I'm back on it.
766
00:38:59,436 --> 00:39:01,539
-Come follow me.
-Shoot, sistah.
767
00:39:19,722 --> 00:39:22,792
Okay. What you doing now,
you little perv?
768
00:39:23,427 --> 00:39:26,130
I see you. What you doing now?
769
00:39:52,588 --> 00:39:55,625
-Can I help you with something?
-Oh! Sorry!
770
00:39:55,659 --> 00:39:57,628
This is where I usually
score my meth.
771
00:39:57,661 --> 00:39:59,997
-What, you the new drug dealer?
-You're joking, right?
772
00:40:00,664 --> 00:40:01,965
Do I look like I'm joking?
773
00:40:01,998 --> 00:40:04,067
Do I look like a meth dealer
to you?
774
00:40:04,099 --> 00:40:06,135
Do I look like a meth head
to you?
775
00:40:06,168 --> 00:40:10,206
You literally just said,
"This is where I score my meth."
776
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:13,109
All I'm saying is that
you could be a drug dealer.
777
00:40:17,981 --> 00:40:18,883
Got him.
778
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:21,451
I'm telling you,
this whole thing stinks!
779
00:40:22,251 --> 00:40:24,454
You find anything
on the license number?
780
00:40:24,487 --> 00:40:26,756
Looks like it's registered
to Conquistador Club.
781
00:40:26,789 --> 00:40:28,057
I knew it!
782
00:40:30,860 --> 00:40:31,928
What?
783
00:40:31,961 --> 00:40:34,030
Dad, you need to calm down.
784
00:40:34,063 --> 00:40:36,165
No, Alana, this is wrong!
785
00:40:36,199 --> 00:40:39,069
They're gonna shut this place
down so some donkey
786
00:40:39,101 --> 00:40:42,472
from the mainland comes here,
build his hotels,
787
00:40:42,505 --> 00:40:45,107
so that they can mess up
the surf for everybody.
788
00:40:45,141 --> 00:40:48,946
No. This is not gonna be
like Waikiki.
789
00:40:48,978 --> 00:40:50,880
So what are you gonna do
about it, Dad?
790
00:41:31,221 --> 00:41:33,524
-There you are, boss.
-Hey, brother, what's up?
791
00:41:33,556 --> 00:41:35,658
The inspector guy,
I think he's taking bribes.
792
00:41:35,692 --> 00:41:37,227
For real?
I've heard that before.
793
00:41:37,260 --> 00:41:38,929
All them guys are taking bribes.
794
00:41:38,961 --> 00:41:40,897
They're taking money
from the big hotel.
795
00:41:40,931 --> 00:41:43,100
Oh, man, I knew it. I knew it!
796
00:41:43,132 --> 00:41:44,934
I'm gonna bust that guy.
You watch.
797
00:41:44,967 --> 00:41:46,669
Go ahead and bust him.
But I tell you what.
798
00:41:46,702 --> 00:41:48,538
Take care of your
responsibilities around here.
799
00:41:48,572 --> 00:41:51,275
The lady in number six.
You know, Christian wahine.
800
00:41:51,307 --> 00:41:53,809
Na ke Akua. God bless them.
Everything's good.
801
00:41:53,842 --> 00:41:55,645
-But they like what you did.
-For real?
802
00:41:55,679 --> 00:41:58,549
She wants another one-on-one
lesson. Do 'em.
803
00:41:58,581 --> 00:42:00,182
-For sure.
-For sure? Of course, for sure.
804
00:42:00,215 --> 00:42:02,018
'Cause I'm for sure,
you for sure.
805
00:42:02,052 --> 00:42:03,720
You know how to fix toilets?
806
00:42:03,753 --> 00:42:05,722
I took one year of plumbing.
807
00:42:05,755 --> 00:42:07,658
Oh! Guarantee you know how
to fix toilets.
808
00:42:07,690 --> 00:42:09,926
You know this right here,
if I give you another $20
809
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:11,795
you can fix this toilet.
I'll give it to you on payday.
810
00:42:11,827 --> 00:42:13,663
When is payday?
811
00:42:13,697 --> 00:42:15,699
Next payday, I'm gonna give
you $20. You can handle?
812
00:42:15,731 --> 00:42:17,767
Well, you know about
this toilet right here?
813
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:21,337
It's special. Elvis Presley
went
814
00:42:21,371 --> 00:42:23,874
-right here in this toilet.
-Ugh.
815
00:42:23,907 --> 00:42:27,144
March 1966.
816
00:42:27,844 --> 00:42:29,212
-You know how to do it?
-Yeah.
817
00:42:29,244 --> 00:42:31,213
Help me up, brah.
818
00:42:31,246 --> 00:42:32,915
Hey...
819
00:42:32,949 --> 00:42:35,553
Now, we turn, and we balance
on your left foot.
820
00:42:36,853 --> 00:42:37,788
Stay focused.
821
00:42:38,655 --> 00:42:41,825
And remember that the blessing
is your breath.
822
00:42:44,027 --> 00:42:46,330
No, you, in the back,
your left foot!
823
00:42:46,362 --> 00:42:49,699
Left foot. Yeah, no.
This one, okay?
824
00:42:49,733 --> 00:42:51,969
This one. Yeah. Okay.
825
00:42:52,001 --> 00:42:54,170
All right. Get out of here.
Please, leave.
826
00:42:55,170 --> 00:42:58,641
Now, roll it up like a burrito.
Burrito boy, roll it up.
827
00:42:59,842 --> 00:43:01,777
Very good. Yeah.
828
00:43:01,811 --> 00:43:05,082
Indeed, yoga is not
for the crippled or the meek.
829
00:43:05,981 --> 00:43:10,186
Okay? Now, your breath
is like your breastmilk.
830
00:43:10,820 --> 00:43:16,827
It nourishes us in a cocoon
of lactose-free lactose.
831
00:43:17,260 --> 00:43:20,964
Okay. Oh, no, you don't.
Okay, everyone, take a break.
832
00:43:20,996 --> 00:43:22,966
Yeah, take a water break.
Back in five.
833
00:43:23,666 --> 00:43:25,234
-What are you doing?
-When's cat cow?
834
00:43:25,268 --> 00:43:28,171
-I like watching cat cow.
-What are you doing here?
835
00:43:28,204 --> 00:43:30,140
The boss got you
on a special mission.
836
00:43:30,706 --> 00:43:32,408
Then why doesn't he come
ask me himself?
837
00:43:32,442 --> 00:43:35,279
'Cause he cannot stand your
accent and your halitosis.
838
00:43:36,445 --> 00:43:37,947
Okay, I respect that.
839
00:43:38,414 --> 00:43:41,017
-What is the mission?
-You know the lady in cabin six?
840
00:43:41,050 --> 00:43:42,418
She wants a one-on-one.
841
00:43:42,452 --> 00:43:45,188
She wants to...
You know what I mean?
842
00:43:45,221 --> 00:43:47,891
You know, she wants to see
what's inside your man diaper.
843
00:43:47,923 --> 00:43:49,759
She's got the hots for you.
844
00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:51,828
-Really?
-Yeah!
845
00:43:51,860 --> 00:43:54,163
Oh, yes. Yes, definitely.
846
00:43:54,197 --> 00:43:55,966
Of course, you know,
that makes sense.
847
00:43:55,998 --> 00:43:59,435
I felt our chakras resonating.
848
00:43:59,469 --> 00:44:00,971
Ooh, oh!
849
00:44:06,009 --> 00:44:08,745
Mm!
850
00:44:08,777 --> 00:44:13,049
Okay. Do I look
like a beautiful man?
851
00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:14,317
-Yeah. Yeah, go.
-Okay.
852
00:44:14,349 --> 00:44:15,985
-Yeah.
-All right.
853
00:44:16,018 --> 00:44:17,286
-Wish me luck.
-Okay.
854
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:19,423
-All right!
-All right!
855
00:44:19,456 --> 00:44:21,291
Yeah! Go.
856
00:44:27,262 --> 00:44:30,032
Okay. Come on, class.
Come on. Come on.
857
00:44:30,065 --> 00:44:33,136
I got something for you guys.
All right.
858
00:44:34,269 --> 00:44:37,473
All right. I got a special pose.
859
00:44:37,507 --> 00:44:39,910
It was developed right here
in the Islands.
860
00:44:39,943 --> 00:44:42,012
It's called the urchin.
861
00:44:42,045 --> 00:44:45,049
Or sometimes,
the crouching vana.
862
00:44:51,054 --> 00:44:52,456
-Well, hello.
-Hi.
863
00:44:52,489 --> 00:44:55,159
Delivery for Kaila.
864
00:44:56,126 --> 00:44:59,329
-Sure. This is for me?
-Oh, that's, your name is Kaila?
865
00:45:00,028 --> 00:45:02,031
-That's me.
-That's my grandmother's name.
866
00:45:02,065 --> 00:45:04,068
-Beautiful name.
-Thank you.
867
00:45:06,034 --> 00:45:08,270
All right. Anything else?
868
00:45:08,304 --> 00:45:10,841
Oh, that's just the inventory.
869
00:45:15,077 --> 00:45:17,213
-Uh... wow.
-This is the delivery.
870
00:45:18,081 --> 00:45:20,050
Are you sure this is for me?
871
00:45:20,083 --> 00:45:23,420
-Who sent this?
-Sticky, Stickybumps.
872
00:45:23,452 --> 00:45:25,121
Last name. I don't know.
First name? I don't know.
873
00:45:25,155 --> 00:45:27,257
-Okay.
874
00:45:27,289 --> 00:45:29,258
What are you doing later?
875
00:45:29,893 --> 00:45:32,829
In life? Or later on tonight?
Either-or. Doesn't matter.
876
00:45:32,862 --> 00:45:34,798
-I'm busy. Thank you.
-Okay. Okay.
877
00:45:34,831 --> 00:45:36,333
-Have a great day.
-I'll be back.
878
00:45:36,365 --> 00:45:38,200
I'll be back for this
hand truck tomorrow.
879
00:45:38,233 --> 00:45:39,836
Aloha.
880
00:45:41,204 --> 00:45:42,773
I won't be here.
881
00:45:43,940 --> 00:45:47,778
A field that has rested
gives a bountiful crop.
882
00:45:48,277 --> 00:45:49,945
Whatever you say.
883
00:45:49,978 --> 00:45:51,948
So I guess you know
what this is, then?
884
00:45:52,414 --> 00:45:53,750
Stickybumps.
885
00:45:54,083 --> 00:45:55,952
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
886
00:45:55,985 --> 00:45:58,922
It's a surprise.
You got sponsored!
887
00:45:58,954 --> 00:46:01,524
I mean, we did it together.
888
00:46:03,259 --> 00:46:05,162
It's all just wax?
889
00:46:05,994 --> 00:46:07,296
That's what they make.
890
00:46:07,896 --> 00:46:10,032
Well, I can't use all this.
I need cash.
891
00:46:10,065 --> 00:46:11,434
You gotta start some place.
892
00:46:12,434 --> 00:46:15,838
To me, this new stuff,
too fruity.
893
00:46:17,539 --> 00:46:18,941
It's not bad.
894
00:46:22,244 --> 00:46:24,346
-You see this right here?
-Oh.
895
00:46:24,380 --> 00:46:27,184
They don't make wax
like this anymore.
896
00:46:28,384 --> 00:46:29,520
It's my special wax.
897
00:46:30,586 --> 00:46:32,889
Are you kidding me?
Move it, please.
898
00:46:33,289 --> 00:46:35,892
This wax, I keep in my pocket
899
00:46:35,925 --> 00:46:39,229
ever since I beat Kelly Slater,
and I took the crown.
900
00:46:40,230 --> 00:46:42,499
This wax have mana.
901
00:46:44,367 --> 00:46:47,170
Mana that will win it for you.
902
00:46:47,202 --> 00:46:48,371
Hmm.
903
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:55,512
And that is why I wish
to pass this on to you.
904
00:46:55,545 --> 00:46:58,448
-Wow.
-Instructor to instructee.
905
00:47:00,048 --> 00:47:01,384
Thank you.
906
00:47:07,422 --> 00:47:08,324
Ugh.
907
00:47:09,425 --> 00:47:11,895
Mission accomplished.
908
00:47:13,329 --> 00:47:15,298
Mission accomplished, brah?
I have no idea
909
00:47:15,331 --> 00:47:18,134
-what you're talkin' about.
-Cottage six is booked
910
00:47:18,166 --> 00:47:20,236
for another week,
at the minimum.
911
00:47:20,670 --> 00:47:22,272
Oh, okay. Well, that's good.
912
00:47:22,304 --> 00:47:24,173
They probably liked
Tai's lesson.
913
00:47:24,206 --> 00:47:27,309
No, it was I. Not Tai.
914
00:47:27,342 --> 00:47:28,978
-It was you?
-Yeah, man.
915
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:33,316
Okay, well, they happy,
you happy, everybody's happy.
916
00:47:33,349 --> 00:47:36,019
-Mahalo.
-Mahalo.
917
00:47:36,052 --> 00:47:39,189
Aloha. Malama pono.
918
00:47:40,222 --> 00:47:41,957
Malama pono. Yeah.
919
00:47:41,990 --> 00:47:42,959
Okay, then.
920
00:47:43,592 --> 00:47:48,064
Well...
921
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:52,902
Mahalo, then.
922
00:47:55,204 --> 00:47:57,540
And for the record,
I myself am ecstatic.
923
00:47:57,572 --> 00:47:59,308
-Oh, that's good, brah.
924
00:47:59,342 --> 00:48:00,510
Happy for you.
925
00:48:01,210 --> 00:48:04,214
Yes, because I'm in love.
926
00:48:05,614 --> 00:48:08,417
Love. Great, brah.
927
00:48:08,451 --> 00:48:11,121
-Love is a wonderful thing.
-I know. I know.
928
00:48:11,153 --> 00:48:14,323
And furthermore,
she is in love with me.
929
00:48:16,592 --> 00:48:18,996
-She's in love with you?
-Mm-hmm.
930
00:48:19,362 --> 00:48:22,633
-The lady in six? The mom?
-Yes. Mm-hmm.
931
00:48:23,498 --> 00:48:25,467
She's a bit older,
but it's cool.
932
00:48:25,501 --> 00:48:27,470
We have a mutual understanding.
933
00:48:27,503 --> 00:48:30,941
She actually said this to you,
she was in love with you?
934
00:48:30,974 --> 00:48:33,109
She did not say it
with her lips, my friend.
935
00:48:34,443 --> 00:48:36,679
She said it
with her pindink-ioni.
936
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,483
-Pinka-dinka-oni.
-Yeah.
937
00:48:40,516 --> 00:48:44,288
And she impindinka
await my return, so...
938
00:48:45,688 --> 00:48:49,092
Good talk. Okay. Bye.
939
00:49:05,074 --> 00:49:09,146
Yeah! My trap worked!
940
00:49:09,679 --> 00:49:12,449
So it was you
that would tag the walls.
941
00:49:13,048 --> 00:49:14,016
Release me!
942
00:49:14,050 --> 00:49:15,418
So it was or wasn't you
943
00:49:15,451 --> 00:49:17,120
that would spray graffiti
on the walls?
944
00:49:17,152 --> 00:49:18,754
Release me at once!
I command you!
945
00:49:18,788 --> 00:49:21,024
So, are you claiming
you never tagged the wall?
946
00:49:21,056 --> 00:49:22,691
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
947
00:49:22,724 --> 00:49:25,060
But if you don't get me out
of this immediately,
948
00:49:25,094 --> 00:49:26,429
I'll be forced to use
949
00:49:26,461 --> 00:49:28,364
my kalaripayuttu skills
on you again.
950
00:49:28,398 --> 00:49:31,067
-Just answer my question.
-Release me at once!
951
00:49:31,099 --> 00:49:32,768
All right, look.
I'll release you, but--
952
00:49:32,802 --> 00:49:35,271
Kalaripayuttu is known
to be lethal.
953
00:49:35,304 --> 00:49:37,407
I'm not taking you off
my suspect list.
954
00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:38,475
There you go.
955
00:49:39,074 --> 00:49:40,509
Get up.
956
00:49:47,784 --> 00:49:49,086
My Pindinka awaits.
957
00:49:49,652 --> 00:49:52,222
And I sense that
she is not always patient.
958
00:49:52,655 --> 00:49:54,290
Cool.
959
00:49:54,322 --> 00:49:57,059
You go handle Padinka.
Hey, I'm watching you.
960
00:49:57,092 --> 00:49:59,294
-I'll be watching you.
-I'm gonna be watching you.
961
00:49:59,327 --> 00:50:01,330
-I'll be watching you.
-I'll be watching you.
962
00:50:01,364 --> 00:50:03,133
-You.
-I'll be watching you.
963
00:50:03,166 --> 00:50:05,335
-I'll be watching you.
-You.
964
00:50:10,472 --> 00:50:12,141
Yes! Yeah!
965
00:50:12,809 --> 00:50:16,046
Deep bottom turn.
Kisses the lip.
966
00:50:16,079 --> 00:50:18,615
Boom! Perfect ten!
967
00:50:18,648 --> 00:50:22,185
Oh! She gonna be a champ!
Hey, you should get in there.
968
00:50:22,751 --> 00:50:25,388
-I don't have a board.
-Use mine!
969
00:50:26,621 --> 00:50:27,690
What's the matter?
970
00:50:29,125 --> 00:50:30,526
Hey, you know what
I was thinking?
971
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:32,829
You can come live with me.
972
00:50:32,862 --> 00:50:35,198
-For high school.
-In your van?
973
00:50:36,132 --> 00:50:37,701
Nah, I can get us an apartment.
974
00:50:38,300 --> 00:50:40,503
-Get rid of the van. For you.
975
00:50:41,103 --> 00:50:42,805
-Mom.
-Oh. Don't answer that.
976
00:50:42,838 --> 00:50:44,340
She's gonna ask for money.
977
00:50:45,807 --> 00:50:48,143
Hey, tell her I'm working on it.
978
00:50:48,177 --> 00:50:49,579
-Hey, Mom.
-Tell her I'm working,
979
00:50:49,612 --> 00:50:51,248
I'm working really hard on it.
980
00:51:00,655 --> 00:51:02,792
That's my student.
I'm her coach.
981
00:51:03,391 --> 00:51:06,395
-Qualifiers next week.
-You? Her coach?
982
00:51:06,695 --> 00:51:11,633
100%. Hey, remember,
we all equals before a wave.
983
00:51:11,666 --> 00:51:14,336
-Who said these words?
-I just did.
984
00:51:16,204 --> 00:51:18,808
-What do you mean?
-What does it mean to you?
985
00:51:23,545 --> 00:51:27,683
My wife said it was
Laird Hamilton
986
00:51:27,717 --> 00:51:28,751
who said these words.
987
00:51:28,784 --> 00:51:30,487
That guy's a freakin' liar.
988
00:51:30,519 --> 00:51:32,855
I just Googled, no lie.
989
00:51:32,889 --> 00:51:34,858
Yeah, well, let me see
what your Google say.
990
00:51:35,391 --> 00:51:36,660
Let me see.
991
00:51:38,460 --> 00:51:41,263
Google said that
.
992
00:51:45,333 --> 00:51:47,469
Look, hey. The thing is,
993
00:51:47,503 --> 00:51:50,373
you cannot believe
what the internet says.
994
00:51:50,405 --> 00:51:51,773
Especially here in the U.S.
995
00:51:51,806 --> 00:51:54,743
The guy, Laird Hamilton,
is a thief!
996
00:51:54,777 --> 00:51:57,313
He stole half the things
I said and did!
997
00:51:57,346 --> 00:52:00,517
The big picture is that cell
phones are rotting your brain!
998
00:52:00,550 --> 00:52:03,887
No critical thinking.
You should be surfing.
999
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:06,322
Instead of taking selfies
all day and all night.
1000
00:52:06,355 --> 00:52:09,259
Hey! You gotta watch
the placement on your back foot.
1001
00:52:09,291 --> 00:52:11,927
On the drop, you gotta watch
the placement of your back foot.
1002
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:14,930
A couple more inches up front,
you'll be a lot more powerful.
1003
00:52:14,963 --> 00:52:17,599
-Sounds good, coach.
-How's my special act?
1004
00:52:17,632 --> 00:52:19,735
-Working it?
1005
00:52:19,768 --> 00:52:22,804
-Is everything okay?
-Yeah, we're just talking.
1006
00:52:22,838 --> 00:52:25,842
Good session.
I gotta go for my evening dip.
1007
00:52:25,875 --> 00:52:27,844
Maybe find some lobster
for dinner.
1008
00:52:27,876 --> 00:52:30,179
Or people's cell phones.
1009
00:52:30,213 --> 00:52:33,550
-Hey, boy. Come here.
-I'm comin'.
1010
00:52:34,416 --> 00:52:36,619
Hey! Hold up. Hey! Hey!
1011
00:52:53,869 --> 00:52:57,507
Woo! Woo!
1012
00:52:57,539 --> 00:52:59,274
Brah, you know
my fire knife dancer?
1013
00:52:59,307 --> 00:53:01,843
He's sick.
He no can do this.
1014
00:53:01,876 --> 00:53:04,279
So I need you, brah.
I need you to go ahead
1015
00:53:04,313 --> 00:53:06,382
and do the fire knife dance
with me, okay?
1016
00:53:06,414 --> 00:53:08,517
Say-hoo! Okay?
1017
00:53:08,918 --> 00:53:10,853
I'll throw in another $20
come payday.
1018
00:53:10,885 --> 00:53:14,389
-Say-hoo!
-Say-hoo!
1019
00:53:14,422 --> 00:53:17,626
-Ah-ha!
-Ah-ha!
1020
00:53:23,798 --> 00:53:26,769
Let's do this!
1021
00:53:30,672 --> 00:53:32,808
This next song
I would like to play
1022
00:53:32,842 --> 00:53:36,613
comes straight from the heart.
Kind of tugs at me sometimes.
1023
00:53:36,646 --> 00:53:39,449
So I'd like to just give you
my mana'o
1024
00:53:39,481 --> 00:53:42,351
and my aloha to you guys, okay?
1025
00:54:02,003 --> 00:54:05,975
♪ When I think about my
Island home ♪
1026
00:54:06,675 --> 00:54:08,777
♪ I smile ♪
1027
00:54:12,547 --> 00:54:15,951
♪ And when I think about my
Island home ♪
1028
00:54:16,786 --> 00:54:19,889
♪ Sometimes I cry ♪
1029
00:54:22,557 --> 00:54:26,828
♪ Because some people came
To my island ♪
1030
00:54:26,862 --> 00:54:30,700
♪ And they took it all away ♪
1031
00:54:33,635 --> 00:54:37,306
♪ And sometimes I'd like to
Hit them ♪
1032
00:54:37,340 --> 00:54:41,478
♪ And kick them in the shin
And make them go away ♪
1033
00:54:44,413 --> 00:54:46,983
♪ And then Captain Cook
Came on the ships ♪
1034
00:54:47,016 --> 00:54:48,918
♪ They brought some diseases ♪
1035
00:54:48,951 --> 00:54:52,856
♪ And my people
They can't live... ♪
1036
00:54:53,621 --> 00:54:56,091
Oh, what a wonderful song.
I feel your pain.
1037
00:54:56,125 --> 00:54:59,629
Okay, ladies and gentlemen,
coming up we're gonna get--
1038
00:54:59,661 --> 00:55:01,563
Every time I sing
that song.
1039
00:55:01,597 --> 00:55:05,068
Wonderful dancer coming up
right after this.
1040
00:55:05,101 --> 00:55:07,403
-on the bounty.
1041
00:55:07,436 --> 00:55:10,407
Ladies and gentlemen,
from the islands of Tahiti,
1042
00:55:27,922 --> 00:55:29,058
Woo!
1043
00:55:43,038 --> 00:55:44,807
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1044
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:49,713
Hey!
1045
00:55:52,447 --> 00:55:55,517
Yeah! Ha-ha-ha!
1046
00:55:55,550 --> 00:55:57,018
-You ready to eat some fire?
-What?
1047
00:55:57,052 --> 00:55:58,421
Ready to eat some fire?
1048
00:55:58,454 --> 00:56:00,022
Anybody want to eat some fire?
1049
00:56:13,135 --> 00:56:15,438
Eat the fire! Woo!
1050
00:56:21,043 --> 00:56:23,146
-Makes no sense.
-Tell me about it.
1051
00:56:23,179 --> 00:56:25,081
They're the ones acting
like little kids.
1052
00:56:25,114 --> 00:56:27,583
Worse. I mean, my mom hits on
everything that moves.
1053
00:56:27,615 --> 00:56:29,551
It's disgusting.
1054
00:56:29,585 --> 00:56:32,789
Oh, yeah? This is the first job
my dad has had in forever.
1055
00:56:32,822 --> 00:56:34,991
And I don't think
he's gonna have it long.
1056
00:56:35,023 --> 00:56:37,693
I even saw him trying
to teach yoga.
1057
00:56:38,626 --> 00:56:40,929
And they're the ones always
telling us how to act.
1058
00:56:40,963 --> 00:56:42,966
-Oh, please.
-Yeah, I know.
1059
00:56:55,177 --> 00:56:58,915
Kaila! Kaila, over here!
1060
00:57:06,956 --> 00:57:09,759
Hey! Busted!
1061
00:57:09,791 --> 00:57:11,460
-Now, what?
-It wasn't my idea.
1062
00:57:11,494 --> 00:57:13,129
Take your mask off.
1063
00:57:14,829 --> 00:57:16,798
No way.
1064
00:57:16,831 --> 00:57:21,636
Second violation, $1,500
by tomorrow morning.
1065
00:57:21,670 --> 00:57:23,539
So how much you pay the kid
to do that?
1066
00:57:23,572 --> 00:57:25,641
-Excuse me?
-Come on, man.
1067
00:57:25,673 --> 00:57:28,510
Same thing every day.
When are you gonna get creative?
1068
00:57:28,543 --> 00:57:30,245
Don't think I can't see through
your scam.
1069
00:57:30,278 --> 00:57:32,514
I recommend you watch yourself.
1070
00:57:32,547 --> 00:57:35,250
What you gonna do? Hit me
with your county clipboard?
1071
00:57:35,284 --> 00:57:38,654
Oh, no, let me see.
You're writing chapter three
1072
00:57:38,686 --> 00:57:40,922
of your book how you sold out
the Hawaiian Islands.
1073
00:57:40,956 --> 00:57:42,058
Don't think I never see you
1074
00:57:42,090 --> 00:57:43,658
with the developer guy
1075
00:57:43,692 --> 00:57:45,228
-in the parking lot.
-Clear violation of
1076
00:57:45,260 --> 00:57:49,598
A4221242242-A,
insulting and intimidating
1077
00:57:49,632 --> 00:57:52,201
of a county employee,
punishable by five grand
1078
00:57:52,233 --> 00:57:53,969
or one year in prison.
1079
00:57:54,670 --> 00:57:56,172
You!
1080
00:57:57,005 --> 00:57:59,074
$5 grand or one year in prison.
1081
00:58:00,009 --> 00:58:02,679
Okay. Mahalo.
So we'll see you next week.
1082
00:58:03,579 --> 00:58:05,648
Okay. Aloha.
1083
00:58:06,648 --> 00:58:08,784
You sold my poster.
1084
00:58:09,684 --> 00:58:11,720
I know I'm probably late
for something.
1085
00:58:11,753 --> 00:58:14,122
Okay, so someone from
the college called for you.
1086
00:58:14,155 --> 00:58:16,925
A Dean Hammer? She wanted you
to stop by her office.
1087
00:58:16,958 --> 00:58:18,827
-Why?
-Didn't say.
1088
00:58:20,128 --> 00:58:22,597
She wants to give me back
my scholarship?
1089
00:58:22,630 --> 00:58:24,533
She didn't say.
1090
00:58:24,567 --> 00:58:28,538
-What, it's selling?
-Made like $8 so far.
1091
00:58:28,570 --> 00:58:31,139
Like, yeah, you'd have to pay
for a surf coach.
1092
00:58:31,172 --> 00:58:33,275
-Yeah, thanks.
-Hey.
1093
00:58:33,309 --> 00:58:36,112
It's not tragic
doing something you love.
1094
00:58:36,144 --> 00:58:38,113
Yeah, okay.
Also, you make no sense.
1095
00:58:38,146 --> 00:58:40,215
And you gotta stop using
other surfer's quotes
1096
00:58:40,248 --> 00:58:42,885
-like they're yours.
-Oh, sorry.
1097
00:58:44,353 --> 00:58:46,856
Whatever. Don't forget
to call Dean Hammer back.
1098
00:58:47,956 --> 00:58:50,292
And remember,
if you're a hammer,
1099
00:58:50,326 --> 00:58:52,328
you tend to see all the problems
1100
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:55,664
as a nail.
Okay, I gotta go.
1101
00:58:56,831 --> 00:58:59,234
If I'm a hammer...
1102
00:59:04,806 --> 00:59:07,242
Hey. Where are you going?
1103
00:59:07,275 --> 00:59:09,077
-Home.
-What?
1104
00:59:11,914 --> 00:59:13,249
Hey, what you doing here?
1105
00:59:13,282 --> 00:59:15,084
She's not even
supposed to be here.
1106
00:59:15,117 --> 00:59:17,053
I told her she couldn't come,
but she came.
1107
00:59:18,019 --> 00:59:19,288
Is that true?
1108
00:59:22,858 --> 00:59:25,161
Do you really think
I want to be doing this, Tai?
1109
00:59:25,193 --> 00:59:27,862
Be the bitchy ex?
I got bills too.
1110
00:59:27,896 --> 00:59:31,233
No, things at the college
are changing. I...
1111
00:59:31,266 --> 00:59:33,703
Things change all the frickin'
time, for everybody.
1112
00:59:33,735 --> 00:59:35,737
Brotha, you gotta grow up
already.
1113
00:59:38,007 --> 00:59:39,875
This is from Family Court.
1114
00:59:39,907 --> 00:59:42,677
If you don't pay it,
you don't get to see her.
1115
00:59:42,710 --> 00:59:44,179
Simple.
1116
00:59:46,782 --> 00:59:49,752
Alana, I promise,
I'm gonna fix this.
1117
00:59:49,784 --> 00:59:51,720
I'm gonna make
everything good. Hey.
1118
00:59:52,221 --> 00:59:55,057
Don't forget, I got that
birthday gift for you, okay?
1119
00:59:55,090 --> 00:59:57,327
Tai. Please put it in the mail.
1120
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:00,262
'Cause if you show up
and you haven't paid,
1121
01:00:00,295 --> 01:00:02,198
I really don't want
to have you arrested.
1122
01:00:06,969 --> 01:00:09,138
I may have
underestimated you.
1123
01:00:09,170 --> 01:00:12,207
And I definitely
underestimated you!
1124
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:14,643
And how you messed things up
for me and my family.
1125
01:00:14,677 --> 01:00:17,680
I'm sorry. The thing is...
1126
01:00:18,313 --> 01:00:21,851
I looked back
over your file. Okay?
1127
01:00:22,418 --> 01:00:25,788
Prior to taking Astronomy 101
for 21 semesters in a row,
1128
01:00:26,288 --> 01:00:28,758
you actually took
a wide variety of courses
1129
01:00:28,791 --> 01:00:30,826
in a wide variety
of disciplines.
1130
01:00:30,858 --> 01:00:32,994
Yeah, except math.
I don't dig math.
1131
01:00:33,027 --> 01:00:36,431
Oh! You see, that's exactly why
I called you in here today.
1132
01:00:36,465 --> 01:00:41,103
This is precisely about digging
or not digging math.
1133
01:00:41,135 --> 01:00:44,939
Yeah, well, you know it's just
if you was a guy,
1134
01:00:44,972 --> 01:00:47,142
I would want to kick your ass
right now.
1135
01:00:47,175 --> 01:00:50,812
But I'm digging the new look.
1136
01:00:50,846 --> 01:00:53,816
Yeah, the blouse. Your hair.
1137
01:00:53,849 --> 01:00:58,154
The plumeria in your ear.
Wow! Looking sharp.
1138
01:00:58,186 --> 01:01:01,089
Real sharp.
Look, you're wearing slippers.
1139
01:01:01,123 --> 01:01:03,826
I'm digging the whole
tropical makeover.
1140
01:01:03,858 --> 01:01:07,729
Now, all you have to do
is wear that with some aloha
1141
01:01:07,762 --> 01:01:10,131
instead of the mainland
attitude.
1142
01:01:10,164 --> 01:01:13,301
Okay. So the reason
I called you here today,
1143
01:01:14,168 --> 01:01:16,271
if you could complete just one
math credit,
1144
01:01:16,304 --> 01:01:18,973
you would actually have
your associate's degree
1145
01:01:19,007 --> 01:01:20,843
in several
different disciplines.
1146
01:01:20,876 --> 01:01:24,046
Nah, no need. Math isn't for me.
1147
01:01:24,079 --> 01:01:26,816
You could even
take the course online.
1148
01:01:26,849 --> 01:01:28,984
It would really help
your job prospects.
1149
01:01:29,016 --> 01:01:30,719
Nah, I'm good.
1150
01:01:31,452 --> 01:01:33,188
Please, just think about it.
1151
01:01:33,222 --> 01:01:36,059
We want to see our students
actually graduate.
1152
01:01:36,759 --> 01:01:38,294
It's the key to our success
as well.
1153
01:01:38,327 --> 01:01:41,998
Please, just, you're so close.
1154
01:01:43,398 --> 01:01:44,967
Okay.
1155
01:02:13,128 --> 01:02:15,798
-No! No! No!
1156
01:02:34,416 --> 01:02:36,919
Hey, little man. Come up
with that five grand yet?
1157
01:02:36,952 --> 01:02:38,954
What, you surf?
Would you like a surf lesson?
1158
01:02:38,987 --> 01:02:40,890
-Excuse me?
-Huh? On the house.
1159
01:02:40,922 --> 01:02:43,224
-That's not how citations work.
-For real. For free!
1160
01:02:43,257 --> 01:02:46,060
On the house, brah. On me.
What?
1161
01:02:46,094 --> 01:02:48,264
-I already boogie board.
1162
01:02:48,996 --> 01:02:51,133
Tai, boss wants a word
in the office.
1163
01:02:53,534 --> 01:02:55,337
Hey, brah, where's Shivy Pupu?
1164
01:02:55,971 --> 01:02:57,940
I haven't seen Diaper Boy
in a few days.
1165
01:02:57,972 --> 01:03:00,842
Yeah, he missed his Awakening
your Magma class yesterday.
1166
01:03:00,876 --> 01:03:04,413
And maybe the day before, too,
now that I think about it.
1167
01:03:06,047 --> 01:03:08,817
You know I avoid that fool
at all costs.
1168
01:03:10,853 --> 01:03:13,389
Okay, we're gonna go
with this meeting without him.
1169
01:03:14,489 --> 01:03:15,892
I, uh...
1170
01:03:16,958 --> 01:03:18,527
I got some really sad news.
1171
01:03:21,163 --> 01:03:22,565
They're gonna
shut us down, brah.
1172
01:03:23,532 --> 01:03:26,302
Something that existed
before the county.
1173
01:03:26,335 --> 01:03:29,371
Something that existed
before there was a state.
1174
01:03:29,403 --> 01:03:32,106
Something that existed
1175
01:03:32,139 --> 01:03:35,844
before they stole the Hawaiian
lands from our people.
1176
01:03:35,878 --> 01:03:37,980
What? Why?
1177
01:03:38,012 --> 01:03:41,149
'Cause I can't pay
the fines, brah.
1178
01:03:41,516 --> 01:03:44,053
The graffiti thing
that was on the wall.
1179
01:03:44,952 --> 01:03:46,087
That was number eight.
1180
01:03:46,989 --> 01:03:49,992
Then they said something
about the cottages,
1181
01:03:50,025 --> 01:03:52,862
the zoning is not working.
1182
01:03:54,362 --> 01:03:57,399
Oh. We got 48 hours, brah.
1183
01:03:58,065 --> 01:04:00,568
-There's nothing we can do?
-Like what?
1184
01:04:00,601 --> 01:04:02,537
I don't know. Take a pay cut?
1185
01:04:03,105 --> 01:04:05,341
You know, I really wanted
to pay all you guys,
1186
01:04:05,373 --> 01:04:07,475
but that bank froze my accounts
1187
01:04:07,509 --> 01:04:11,313
until I can make everything
right with the county.
1188
01:04:11,346 --> 01:04:14,016
Wait, so we're not gonna get
paid for the last two weeks?
1189
01:04:14,048 --> 01:04:16,184
No guarantee, my friend.
1190
01:04:16,652 --> 01:04:18,454
Maybe you could go ahead
1191
01:04:18,487 --> 01:04:21,023
and teach the yoga class,
brah, for tips.
1192
01:04:21,389 --> 01:04:23,124
I mean, I would really like,
1193
01:04:23,157 --> 01:04:25,560
and I hope you guys would really
like that these guests
1194
01:04:25,594 --> 01:04:28,965
get one last mahalo nui.
1195
01:04:29,530 --> 01:04:32,033
One last aloha from us.
1196
01:04:32,067 --> 01:04:37,073
Wait. So you let me teach yoga.
What about Moe?
1197
01:04:38,106 --> 01:04:40,309
What 'bout Moe? Let's go.
1198
01:04:45,713 --> 01:04:47,448
You know,
in the positive column,
1199
01:04:47,481 --> 01:04:49,951
you can I can train together
really hard.
1200
01:04:49,985 --> 01:04:51,921
'Cause you gotta win
this surf contest.
1201
01:04:51,954 --> 01:04:54,223
-Not happening.
-What are you talkin' about?
1202
01:04:54,623 --> 01:04:56,458
It's just a stupid pipe dream.
1203
01:04:56,490 --> 01:04:59,560
I started too late. I should
have already won juniors by now.
1204
01:04:59,594 --> 01:05:02,464
What are you talking about?
You got all the skills!
1205
01:05:02,496 --> 01:05:05,500
Right now, it's the best time
to be a female pro.
1206
01:05:05,534 --> 01:05:07,503
You know what?
It's actually better this way.
1207
01:05:07,536 --> 01:05:09,438
My aunt in Vegas has been
trying to get me
1208
01:05:09,471 --> 01:05:12,641
to move out forever. And she
could hook me up with a job.
1209
01:05:12,673 --> 01:05:13,942
And I'd be set.
1210
01:05:13,976 --> 01:05:15,978
We gotta do this one last one.
1211
01:05:16,311 --> 01:05:18,347
I've already decided, Tai.
1212
01:05:18,380 --> 01:05:20,449
Taking this job,
and thinking I can make it
1213
01:05:20,481 --> 01:05:22,684
on the Pro Tour
was a stupid idea.
1214
01:05:22,717 --> 01:05:25,153
I got a sponsorship
and everything.
1215
01:05:25,186 --> 01:05:27,355
Free wax? Come on!
1216
01:05:28,523 --> 01:05:30,526
No. I'm booking my ticket
tonight.
1217
01:05:33,260 --> 01:05:34,396
What's that?
1218
01:05:36,565 --> 01:05:37,967
This?
1219
01:05:40,034 --> 01:05:41,536
-Don't worry about it.
-Hey!
1220
01:05:42,670 --> 01:05:44,205
Thanks for coaching me.
1221
01:06:01,088 --> 01:06:04,258
Hey! You should have let me
piss on his leg
1222
01:06:04,291 --> 01:06:05,593
when you had the chance.
1223
01:06:13,467 --> 01:06:15,737
The infection spread
all the way up to his knee.
1224
01:06:15,771 --> 01:06:17,740
We're just now getting back
from the ER.
1225
01:06:17,773 --> 01:06:20,609
Hey, look, I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
1226
01:06:20,641 --> 01:06:22,711
No, it's too late.
The babymoon is over.
1227
01:06:25,614 --> 01:06:27,049
Are those good?
1228
01:06:28,483 --> 01:06:29,585
Come, sit down.
1229
01:06:34,188 --> 01:06:36,324
So take a look at me
for a second.
1230
01:06:37,092 --> 01:06:39,561
I'm, like, maybe 43 years old.
1231
01:06:39,594 --> 01:06:41,330
Got kicked off the Pro Tour.
1232
01:06:41,695 --> 01:06:45,266
I messed it up with the one lady
that I really love.
1233
01:06:45,300 --> 01:06:47,169
And I get my daughter
one weekend
1234
01:06:47,202 --> 01:06:49,138
out of the whole month.
1235
01:06:49,170 --> 01:06:51,306
And even that might be ending.
1236
01:06:51,706 --> 01:06:53,642
And now, the hotel's
getting shut down.
1237
01:06:54,242 --> 01:06:56,512
-What?
-The county inspector came.
1238
01:06:56,545 --> 01:06:59,015
-Shutting us down.
-Why?
1239
01:06:59,481 --> 01:07:02,684
Some big developer gonna come,
tear this place down,
1240
01:07:02,717 --> 01:07:04,186
and put up a big resort.
1241
01:07:04,786 --> 01:07:08,157
And you're just gonna sit here
and stuff your face?
1242
01:07:09,824 --> 01:07:12,494
You're like
a cautionary tale.
1243
01:07:12,860 --> 01:07:15,030
-I heard that one before.
1244
01:07:15,597 --> 01:07:18,100
You know, it's like that
half glass full,
1245
01:07:18,132 --> 01:07:19,700
half glass empty thing.
1246
01:07:19,733 --> 01:07:22,370
You know, I'm in Hawaii
with the man I love.
1247
01:07:22,403 --> 01:07:26,307
Pregnant. Weather in Portland
is sleeting, like 13 degrees.
1248
01:07:26,340 --> 01:07:28,276
-Exactly!
-You know.
1249
01:07:28,309 --> 01:07:30,512
And I get to meet people
like you.
1250
01:07:30,811 --> 01:07:32,213
You know, real people.
1251
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:35,683
Not those fake,
smiling concierges.
1252
01:07:35,717 --> 01:07:39,221
Or the aloha, maholo, aloha
maids at the big resorts.
1253
01:07:39,253 --> 01:07:42,523
I'm talking about real people.
1254
01:07:42,556 --> 01:07:44,525
I know what
you're talking about.
1255
01:07:44,559 --> 01:07:47,362
You know, the kind of people
that aren't afraid to show that
1256
01:07:47,394 --> 01:07:50,598
they resent you for trampling
all over their paradise.
1257
01:07:56,605 --> 01:08:00,576
Or show you a little aloha
if that's what they're feeling.
1258
01:08:06,148 --> 01:08:08,084
And that's the thing, Tai.
1259
01:08:08,682 --> 01:08:11,185
They shouldn't tear
this place down.
1260
01:08:11,219 --> 01:08:14,123
This is an authentic experience
we're having.
1261
01:08:14,155 --> 01:08:16,457
Yeah. This hotel has been
in the family
1262
01:08:16,490 --> 01:08:18,193
for almost 200 years!
1263
01:08:18,560 --> 01:08:20,729
Well, then, why are you
just sitting there!
1264
01:08:21,496 --> 01:08:23,665
When you're down
in a surf competition,
1265
01:08:23,698 --> 01:08:26,535
did you just paddle in?
Or throw in the towel?
1266
01:08:27,234 --> 01:08:28,903
No. I never owned a towel.
1267
01:08:28,936 --> 01:08:31,806
Damn right you didn't!
It's the same thing here.
1268
01:08:33,641 --> 01:08:36,211
You gotta fight for this place.
Come on.
1269
01:08:36,677 --> 01:08:38,513
-Let's go!
-Hustle.
1270
01:08:40,481 --> 01:08:42,416
As if there was a point
to any of this,
1271
01:08:42,449 --> 01:08:43,451
let's check the radar.
1272
01:08:43,484 --> 01:08:45,153
Oh, boy. There it is.
1273
01:08:45,186 --> 01:08:47,488
Daily temperatures
of 84 degrees.
1274
01:08:47,521 --> 01:08:49,323
Let's see if there's
any precipitation.
1275
01:08:49,356 --> 01:08:51,626
Nope. And not a cloud
in the sky.
1276
01:08:51,659 --> 01:08:53,861
I don't even have to look at
that when I know there's none.
1277
01:08:53,895 --> 01:08:55,797
And that's about it
from here in weather.
1278
01:08:55,829 --> 01:08:58,499
So sending it right back
to you, Mahina.
1279
01:08:58,533 --> 01:09:01,337
Psst. Dougie! Dougie.
1280
01:09:05,707 --> 01:09:08,577
Brah, amazing how bad you suck.
1281
01:09:08,609 --> 01:09:10,778
I know. To be honest with you,
1282
01:09:10,811 --> 01:09:13,347
sometimes I feel like
I want to off myself on air.
1283
01:09:13,381 --> 01:09:16,385
Dude, forget that.
Hey, didn't you tell me one time
1284
01:09:16,417 --> 01:09:19,254
you wanted to be like a big,
investigative reporter?
1285
01:09:19,688 --> 01:09:21,290
Maybe in high school.
1286
01:09:21,323 --> 01:09:23,192
Brah, I got the perfect case
you can crack!
1287
01:09:23,225 --> 01:09:24,560
We're gonna blow this thing up!
1288
01:09:24,592 --> 01:09:26,594
Do I look like I'm gonna
blow anything up?
1289
01:09:26,627 --> 01:09:28,829
Brah, plus the way
you're doing weather,
1290
01:09:28,863 --> 01:09:30,766
you're either gonna get fired,
or you're gonna look
1291
01:09:30,798 --> 01:09:32,367
just like that guy right there.
1292
01:09:32,900 --> 01:09:34,635
Yeah, you're probably right.
1293
01:09:34,668 --> 01:09:36,571
That's too bad. Can I just
be honest with you?
1294
01:09:36,604 --> 01:09:38,372
-Sure.
-You're not as good-looking
1295
01:09:38,405 --> 01:09:39,507
as you was before.
1296
01:09:39,940 --> 01:09:42,310
-I know.
-Every time I see you,
1297
01:09:42,344 --> 01:09:44,446
-you're a little fatter.
-That's not my fault.
1298
01:09:44,479 --> 01:09:46,315
I eat when I get bored
or hungry.
1299
01:09:46,347 --> 01:09:48,516
-Your hair's thinning out.
-Nothing I can do about that.
1300
01:09:48,550 --> 01:09:49,952
I take the pills. Nothing works.
1301
01:09:49,984 --> 01:09:51,519
You gotta remember,
1302
01:09:51,552 --> 01:09:53,487
do the things you fear the most,
1303
01:09:53,520 --> 01:09:56,391
the death of fear is certain.
1304
01:09:57,425 --> 01:10:00,796
-Are you quoting Laird again?
-Hey, F-U! That's Mark Twain.
1305
01:10:01,496 --> 01:10:04,400
Maybe Confucius.
Or maybe even me.
1306
01:10:06,967 --> 01:10:08,469
Let me grab my camera.
1307
01:10:09,270 --> 01:10:10,605
Yeah. That's my boy.
1308
01:10:10,639 --> 01:10:13,342
Dougie! You're rolling!
Roll, Dougie!
1309
01:10:13,375 --> 01:10:16,944
Roll 'em! Yeah! Yeah!
1310
01:10:16,978 --> 01:10:19,348
Woo!
1311
01:10:19,381 --> 01:10:22,218
Yeah, come on,
you frickin' . Woo!
1312
01:10:28,355 --> 01:10:30,291
Hey!
1313
01:10:30,324 --> 01:10:33,294
-Help!
1314
01:10:33,328 --> 01:10:35,731
-Yeah!
-Help!
1315
01:10:35,764 --> 01:10:37,700
Come on. Come on.
1316
01:10:40,702 --> 01:10:43,305
-What's your name, boy?
-Ethan.
1317
01:10:43,337 --> 01:10:45,606
-Your last name.
-Leftin.
1318
01:10:45,640 --> 01:10:47,976
-Are you getting this, Dougie?
-Yeah, copy that. 10-4.
1319
01:10:48,009 --> 01:10:50,279
Camera's rolling.
Sound is speeding.
1320
01:10:50,311 --> 01:10:52,446
-Hey. Calm down, Dougie.
-I'm calm. We are live!
1321
01:10:52,479 --> 01:10:54,949
Hey, now that we rescued
your skinny ass
1322
01:10:54,983 --> 01:10:56,852
out of the water,
you're gonna tell us
1323
01:10:56,885 --> 01:10:59,421
who would pay you
for graffiti that wall.
1324
01:10:59,453 --> 01:11:02,290
-You're on national TV!
-International!
1325
01:11:02,323 --> 01:11:04,825
-It was the guy from the county.
-Louder!
1326
01:11:04,859 --> 01:11:08,563
-Describe the lowlife.
-He gave me $75 each time.
1327
01:11:08,595 --> 01:11:11,365
-And I only did it--
-Okay, spare us the reasons why,
1328
01:11:11,399 --> 01:11:14,569
you skinny-ass punk.
Describe the guy that paid you.
1329
01:11:14,601 --> 01:11:16,771
-Calm down, Dougie.
-I'm calm!
1330
01:11:16,805 --> 01:11:18,374
I think his name
was Peter Poulet.
1331
01:11:18,840 --> 01:11:21,743
You know, the guy who wears
his pants a little too high.
1332
01:11:21,775 --> 01:11:24,045
Yeah, and the male
camel toe situation.
1333
01:11:24,078 --> 01:11:26,414
-I noticed that too.
-Ugh, disgusting.
1334
01:11:26,448 --> 01:11:29,384
Yeah. But who paid him?
Who are you working for?
1335
01:11:29,417 --> 01:11:32,387
-Yeah, who's paying him?
-I don't know.
1336
01:11:32,420 --> 01:11:34,790
Hey, boy. You like who
shut down this hotel?
1337
01:11:34,823 --> 01:11:36,858
You like this place
called Waikiki?
1338
01:11:36,890 --> 01:11:40,361
That means no more kiting
for you and the crew!
1339
01:11:40,395 --> 01:11:41,830
So what you gonna do?
1340
01:11:41,863 --> 01:11:43,532
I don't know. I'm sorry.
1341
01:11:43,564 --> 01:11:46,701
I only did it
so I could buy a new kite.
1342
01:11:46,734 --> 01:11:49,304
I'm not done with you yet.
You're coming with us.
1343
01:11:51,706 --> 01:11:53,442
The office should be
right down there.
1344
01:11:54,007 --> 01:11:55,843
Hey, after we do this,
I gotta get back,
1345
01:11:55,877 --> 01:11:57,346
teach my yoga class.
1346
01:11:57,378 --> 01:11:59,113
-You do yoga?
-Yeah. Shut up.
1347
01:11:59,146 --> 01:12:01,816
Don't judge eagles based on
opinions of turkeys.
1348
01:12:01,850 --> 01:12:04,853
Wo-ho, snap. I was rolling live
on that one, brotha.
1349
01:12:04,886 --> 01:12:07,055
Wait, how is that thing
even live?
1350
01:12:07,087 --> 01:12:09,957
-How 'bout I kick your ass live?
-Dougie! Come on, Dougie.
1351
01:12:27,542 --> 01:12:29,978
All right. On the count
of three, go ahead.
1352
01:12:30,011 --> 01:12:32,547
Three, two...
1353
01:12:32,579 --> 01:12:34,982
Wait, wait, wait.
On one, or go after?
1354
01:12:35,884 --> 01:12:37,686
-Three.
-Three, two, and then one?
1355
01:12:37,719 --> 01:12:39,087
-Yes.
-Or go--
1356
01:12:39,119 --> 01:12:41,655
-Three, two, one, then go.
-Okay. On one.
1357
01:12:41,689 --> 01:12:43,392
-Yes.
-Or one, and then go?
1358
01:12:43,425 --> 01:12:44,860
One and then go, okay.
1359
01:12:55,470 --> 01:12:58,974
All right, class. It's time
for the crouching vana.
1360
01:12:59,006 --> 01:13:01,675
Some of you guys who
wasn't here, or missed it,
1361
01:13:01,708 --> 01:13:04,512
basically, what you're gonna do
is, you're gonna put yourself
1362
01:13:04,546 --> 01:13:06,415
into a tight ball.
1363
01:13:06,448 --> 01:13:08,550
Okay? You're gonna hold
your breath.
1364
01:13:08,582 --> 01:13:11,419
Okay. Everybody, come on.
Follow me. Get down.
1365
01:13:11,453 --> 01:13:13,822
Into a ball. Like an urchin.
There you go.
1366
01:13:13,854 --> 01:13:16,557
That's the crouching vana.
Now, hold your breath.
1367
01:13:18,760 --> 01:13:21,463
All right?
All this breathing thing
1368
01:13:21,496 --> 01:13:25,567
that Shiv is talking about,
how breath is the breastmilk,
1369
01:13:25,600 --> 01:13:28,136
that's disgusting!
It's not even important!
1370
01:13:28,168 --> 01:13:30,204
What's important?
Holding your breath.
1371
01:13:30,238 --> 01:13:32,674
What if we get wiped
by a big-ass wave,
1372
01:13:32,707 --> 01:13:35,110
or someone drops
a nasty pooey on you? Huh?
1373
01:13:35,143 --> 01:13:36,678
Hold your breath.
1374
01:13:37,612 --> 01:13:39,147
Speaking of farting,
1375
01:13:39,180 --> 01:13:41,617
anybody have to share
something with the class?
1376
01:13:42,250 --> 01:13:44,519
Okay, because, you know,
that kind of offering
1377
01:13:44,551 --> 01:13:47,455
-is acceptable.
1378
01:13:47,488 --> 01:13:49,223
It actually sounds like
someone needs help.
1379
01:13:49,256 --> 01:13:51,225
Okay. Hold on.
1380
01:13:51,259 --> 01:13:53,695
Stay there in urchin!
1381
01:13:53,728 --> 01:13:56,498
And remember, don't breathe!
1382
01:13:58,800 --> 01:14:01,470
And don't forget, tip, tip.
1383
01:14:09,143 --> 01:14:11,480
-I knew you were kinky.
1384
01:14:14,015 --> 01:14:17,786
Hey, but if it feels good
for you, then it's okay with me.
1385
01:14:17,819 --> 01:14:20,622
If you okay with it,
not passing any judgment.
1386
01:14:26,226 --> 01:14:27,962
Always gotta be
the good Samaritan.
1387
01:14:45,113 --> 01:14:47,516
-What?
1388
01:14:50,018 --> 01:14:52,087
I can't understand
what you're saying.
1389
01:14:52,119 --> 01:14:54,688
What? You want me
to set you free?
1390
01:14:54,721 --> 01:14:56,824
-If I do that,
1391
01:14:56,858 --> 01:14:58,894
you better play fair.
For example,
1392
01:14:58,926 --> 01:15:00,694
who has priority over the beach?
1393
01:15:00,728 --> 01:15:03,098
Anytime, anywhere, forever?
1394
01:15:03,131 --> 01:15:04,900
-You.
-Okay.
1395
01:15:05,867 --> 01:15:07,836
What took you so long?
1396
01:15:07,868 --> 01:15:09,603
What are you talking about?
1397
01:15:09,636 --> 01:15:12,673
I've been here for 17 days
and 17 nights.
1398
01:15:12,707 --> 01:15:15,244
More like five hours,
but nobody care.
1399
01:15:15,976 --> 01:15:20,081
I've got to get out of here.
Untie my hands and feet.
1400
01:15:21,015 --> 01:15:23,886
I do that, you're gonna owe me.
1401
01:15:30,625 --> 01:15:33,128
Oh! You want
a Green Goddess too?
1402
01:15:33,161 --> 01:15:35,597
Added a splash of vodka.
1403
01:15:35,630 --> 01:15:38,166
Nah, I'm good. That stuff make
me crap my board shorts.
1404
01:15:38,198 --> 01:15:40,768
Who said you could take
his gag off?
1405
01:15:40,801 --> 01:15:43,203
What you doing gagging him?
I mean, like, I understand,
1406
01:15:43,237 --> 01:15:46,107
because there are many times
that I wanted to gag him.
1407
01:15:46,140 --> 01:15:48,910
And who gave you permission
to ask for help?
1408
01:15:48,943 --> 01:15:50,679
But I was saying the safe word.
1409
01:15:51,746 --> 01:15:53,682
Well, I couldn't understand you.
1410
01:15:53,715 --> 01:15:55,750
You know what?
Hey, get out of here.
1411
01:15:55,783 --> 01:15:57,319
I'll handle this.
Get out of here.
1412
01:15:57,351 --> 01:16:00,087
-But we had something special.
1413
01:16:00,121 --> 01:16:03,058
-But it hurts too much.
-Well, love hurts sometimes.
1414
01:16:04,257 --> 01:16:06,293
Hey. Hold on. Hold on.
1415
01:16:06,327 --> 01:16:08,897
Get ready, Hawaii,
because the real story
1416
01:16:08,930 --> 01:16:12,300
is going live this afternoon.
Press conference and everything
1417
01:16:12,332 --> 01:16:15,035
Scandal of the century
right here!
1418
01:16:15,069 --> 01:16:18,273
No, Mahina, stay right there.
People want to know the truth.
1419
01:16:18,305 --> 01:16:20,341
We're gonna go
to commercial break.
1420
01:16:20,375 --> 01:16:22,777
Wait, stop. Get off me.
'Cause we are not gonna go
1421
01:16:22,810 --> 01:16:25,146
to commercial because
people want to know the truth.
1422
01:16:25,179 --> 01:16:27,115
I have secret footage
to show everybody.
1423
01:16:27,148 --> 01:16:30,018
No, because I am sick of being
just a weatherman, okay?
1424
01:16:30,051 --> 01:16:32,854
I have more potential than that
Everyone has more potential,
1425
01:16:32,886 --> 01:16:34,589
even Miss Mahina
has more potential.
1426
01:16:59,079 --> 01:17:00,681
And here we go.
1427
01:17:01,215 --> 01:17:03,151
Thank you, boss.
1428
01:17:03,184 --> 01:17:06,254
So what we have uncovered here
1429
01:17:06,287 --> 01:17:09,324
is that this guy right here
1430
01:17:09,356 --> 01:17:13,160
is a pawn.
And the kid he paid money to
1431
01:17:13,194 --> 01:17:17,265
even more of a pawn, and getting
money for somebody else, right?
1432
01:17:18,399 --> 01:17:20,669
So why don't you tell everybody,
1433
01:17:20,702 --> 01:17:22,170
why don't you tell
the whole world,
1434
01:17:22,203 --> 01:17:24,039
right now, who you work for.
1435
01:17:26,073 --> 01:17:29,376
I was taking bribes from an
executive at Conquistador.
1436
01:17:29,409 --> 01:17:30,678
What else?
1437
01:17:31,680 --> 01:17:34,015
Their goal was to run this place
into the ground.
1438
01:17:34,047 --> 01:17:37,151
Buy the land cheap
and build a luxury resort.
1439
01:17:37,185 --> 01:17:39,688
Ba-bam! I got that.
I was rolling,
1440
01:17:39,720 --> 01:17:42,222
-and I got that on tape.
-Hey! Dougie, calm down!
1441
01:17:42,256 --> 01:17:44,726
-Calm down.
-You're going down.
1442
01:17:44,759 --> 01:17:47,696
So why don't you tell everybody
where this guy's at right now.
1443
01:17:47,729 --> 01:17:49,798
I think he's at
that surf competition.
1444
01:17:49,831 --> 01:17:51,199
What?
1445
01:17:51,932 --> 01:17:55,335
Yeah. The Conquistador Club
is the main sponsor
1446
01:17:55,368 --> 01:17:57,204
trying to get in good
with the locals.
1447
01:17:58,805 --> 01:18:00,107
For real?
1448
01:18:00,475 --> 01:18:02,811
Surf competition today?
1449
01:18:04,212 --> 01:18:07,348
Yeah. Swell filled in.
I got called this morning.
1450
01:18:07,381 --> 01:18:09,351
So what are we waiting for?
Let's go!
1451
01:18:10,984 --> 01:18:15,289
Hey. Quitting, easy.
Daring to triumph, hard.
1452
01:18:15,323 --> 01:18:17,292
-Is that Yoda?
-No, it's actually
1453
01:18:17,324 --> 01:18:19,026
a Laird Hamilton quote.
1454
01:18:19,060 --> 01:18:21,896
How many of you guys
want to see this badass
1455
01:18:21,929 --> 01:18:24,265
surf in a competition today?
1456
01:18:27,001 --> 01:18:29,370
-Got to listen to the people.
-Okay.
1457
01:18:29,403 --> 01:18:31,473
But only if you do this.
1458
01:18:31,506 --> 01:18:34,809
-What's this?
-Online math class.
1459
01:18:34,841 --> 01:18:37,177
I already signed you up.
And I can coach you.
1460
01:18:37,211 --> 01:18:40,048
Okay. But surf first.
1461
01:18:40,081 --> 01:18:41,850
-Okay.
-Let's go.
1462
01:18:42,984 --> 01:18:45,186
Aloha! Coming at you
with today's daily
1463
01:18:45,219 --> 01:18:48,256
rubber neck surf check.
And surf today is unreal!
1464
01:18:48,288 --> 01:18:50,290
It's pumping in the three
to five-foot range.
1465
01:18:50,323 --> 01:18:52,192
Perfect time for the finals.
1466
01:18:52,225 --> 01:18:54,995
And I think I'm going to enter
the longboard event myself.
1467
01:18:55,029 --> 01:18:57,365
'Cause the water
is so perfect today.
1468
01:18:57,398 --> 01:19:00,335
And that wraps it up
for our rubber neck surf check.
1469
01:19:00,368 --> 01:19:04,038
Pristine conditions
for the 22nd annual
1470
01:19:04,070 --> 01:19:05,972
International Competition.
1471
01:19:10,043 --> 01:19:14,248
Okay. Patience. Patience.
1472
01:19:14,282 --> 01:19:16,785
Come on. Come on. There you go.
1473
01:19:17,284 --> 01:19:19,920
There you go! Perfect!
1474
01:19:21,055 --> 01:19:24,392
Okay. All right. Bottom turn.
1475
01:19:24,425 --> 01:19:28,496
Smack the lip.
Smack the lip hard!
1476
01:19:28,529 --> 01:19:31,800
Ba-boom! Oh. Tuck in.
1477
01:19:31,832 --> 01:19:35,169
Tuck in. Aha! There you go!
1478
01:19:37,371 --> 01:19:39,140
-Yay!
-Yes!
1479
01:19:39,172 --> 01:19:40,841
You saw that? Ten!
1480
01:19:40,875 --> 01:19:44,379
I'll take a perfect ten
from you, and you,
1481
01:19:44,412 --> 01:19:47,115
and you! Yes!
1482
01:19:47,148 --> 01:19:48,883
-Yes! Yes!
-I tell you,
1483
01:19:48,916 --> 01:19:51,219
she might be a newcomer,
but she surfs like a pro.
1484
01:19:51,252 --> 01:19:55,056
All that confidence and poise.
And you know what I heard?
1485
01:19:55,088 --> 01:19:58,125
Her coach is Tai Alonzo.
1486
01:19:58,158 --> 01:19:59,827
-You remember that name?
-What?
1487
01:19:59,860 --> 01:20:01,562
That's one of the great surfers
of Hawaii.
1488
01:20:01,595 --> 01:20:04,464
I know, I know.
What ever happened to him?
1489
01:20:04,497 --> 01:20:06,166
-I thought he was dead.
-Gonzo.
1490
01:20:06,199 --> 01:20:08,302
Gonzo Alonzo.
1491
01:20:08,336 --> 01:20:10,305
Hey, are you signing up
for open longboard?
1492
01:20:10,337 --> 01:20:13,073
-I don't compete anymore.
-Why?
1493
01:20:13,106 --> 01:20:14,842
I got kicked off the tour.
1494
01:20:14,876 --> 01:20:16,945
But I heard it was only
a ten-year suspension.
1495
01:20:16,978 --> 01:20:18,980
-Yeah?
-And it's been almost 20.
1496
01:20:19,012 --> 01:20:20,914
Yeah, maybe.
1497
01:20:20,948 --> 01:20:23,117
Look at you trying to get all
mathematical on me.
1498
01:20:23,149 --> 01:20:26,019
-...new woman, Kaila Vincent.
-Oh!
1499
01:20:26,052 --> 01:20:29,423
-Kaila Vincent.
-What I told you, huh?
1500
01:20:30,291 --> 01:20:32,560
-Good job!
-Yeah.
1501
01:20:32,592 --> 01:20:35,195
But now, it's your turn.
Masters longboard.
1502
01:20:35,229 --> 01:20:37,298
I mean, since you say
you're a master and all.
1503
01:20:37,331 --> 01:20:39,467
-Yeah, I'm good.
-That's what you always say.
1504
01:20:39,500 --> 01:20:42,503
But I think we'd all like
to actually see it.
1505
01:20:42,536 --> 01:20:44,339
Yeah, who wants to see him try?
1506
01:20:44,372 --> 01:20:46,140
-Don't forget.
1507
01:20:46,172 --> 01:20:49,009
Stay right where you are,
because coming up next is
1508
01:20:49,042 --> 01:20:52,246
the men's longboard
surfing championship.
1509
01:20:52,279 --> 01:20:54,147
-Woo-hoo.
-And I have to say,
1510
01:20:54,180 --> 01:20:55,582
back in the day, you know--
1511
01:20:55,615 --> 01:20:57,551
I heard about
your longboard.
1512
01:20:57,585 --> 01:20:59,087
Oh! We got Alonzo
1513
01:20:59,119 --> 01:21:01,388
dropping into a beautiful wave.
1514
01:21:01,421 --> 01:21:03,991
Whoa. He's way more
flexible than you'd think.
1515
01:21:04,024 --> 01:21:05,525
Look at that opu
on that board.
1516
01:21:05,559 --> 01:21:07,596
Yeah!
1517
01:21:10,997 --> 01:21:12,633
He's got another one, folks.
1518
01:21:12,667 --> 01:21:15,670
Carving it like
a Thanksgiving Day turkey.
1519
01:21:15,703 --> 01:21:18,039
-Oh, yeah.
1520
01:21:23,411 --> 01:21:25,346
Woo!
1521
01:21:25,378 --> 01:21:27,180
Yep. There it is.
1522
01:21:27,213 --> 01:21:29,650
His signature dead cockroach.
1523
01:21:29,684 --> 01:21:32,487
He's gonna take that one
all the way to the bank.
1524
01:21:34,587 --> 01:21:36,357
-Congratulations.
-Yeah!
1525
01:21:37,457 --> 01:21:39,493
-Yeah!
1526
01:21:43,029 --> 01:21:45,198
And of course, this comes
with a $3,000 check
1527
01:21:45,231 --> 01:21:46,600
from Conquistador.
1528
01:21:50,438 --> 01:21:52,507
-Alonzo!
-Dougie. You rolling?
1529
01:21:52,539 --> 01:21:54,675
-We are live!
-Roll. Roll.
1530
01:21:56,210 --> 01:21:58,546
And congratulations to you,
Mr. Alonzo.
1531
01:22:00,547 --> 01:22:02,249
You don't remember me, huh?
1532
01:22:02,283 --> 01:22:03,685
Can't say that I do.
1533
01:22:03,717 --> 01:22:05,485
I always knew
you was a criminal.
1534
01:22:05,519 --> 01:22:06,688
Okay. What do you want?
1535
01:22:06,720 --> 01:22:08,355
Hey, guys, see this executive
1536
01:22:08,389 --> 01:22:10,124
from Conquistador Club?
1537
01:22:10,157 --> 01:22:12,427
He's bribing
the county inspector.
1538
01:22:12,460 --> 01:22:16,564
I said he's bribing
the county inspector.
1539
01:22:16,596 --> 01:22:19,300
Get this guy off the stage.
Get this guy off the stage.
1540
01:22:21,368 --> 01:22:23,237
Get him. Get him!
1541
01:22:24,537 --> 01:22:26,239
Come on! Dougie! Let's go!
1542
01:22:26,273 --> 01:22:28,242
Already got 'em.
1543
01:22:28,274 --> 01:22:30,277
-Come on!
-I'm rolling.
1544
01:22:30,310 --> 01:22:32,246
-Stop him!
-Come on!
1545
01:22:43,090 --> 01:22:45,527
Hey-hey, not today, honey.
1546
01:22:46,226 --> 01:22:48,429
Big brah.
1547
01:22:52,432 --> 01:22:55,502
-Doug! You got the footage?
-You know I did, brah!
1548
01:22:57,304 --> 01:22:58,773
Five-o, what's going on
over here?
1549
01:22:58,805 --> 01:23:00,774
Officer, I got everything
on my camera.
1550
01:23:00,807 --> 01:23:02,709
I got confessions,
incriminating evidence,
1551
01:23:02,743 --> 01:23:04,545
everything. You need it,
I got it right here.
1552
01:23:04,578 --> 01:23:06,280
Calm down, Dougie. Calm down.
1553
01:23:06,313 --> 01:23:09,217
Hey, where you at?
1554
01:23:10,684 --> 01:23:13,555
Oh! Man.
1555
01:23:14,220 --> 01:23:15,722
Yeah, no, I can respect that.
1556
01:23:15,756 --> 01:23:17,458
I've done that
many times myself.
1557
01:23:17,490 --> 01:23:20,093
Officer, see the guy swimming
towards Tahiti?
1558
01:23:20,127 --> 01:23:21,729
-Yeah.
-He bribed the county inspector.
1559
01:23:21,761 --> 01:23:23,463
Tried to shut down the hotel.
1560
01:23:23,497 --> 01:23:26,768
-Oh, roger that.
-According to U.S. Code 20-218,
1561
01:23:26,801 --> 01:23:30,104
that's a felony.
Three years prison time.
1562
01:23:30,136 --> 01:23:31,638
Oh, you really know
your stuff, huh?
1563
01:23:31,671 --> 01:23:33,373
I took one year
of criminal justice.
1564
01:23:33,407 --> 01:23:35,209
-I'll let you take that.
-I'll do that.
1565
01:23:35,242 --> 01:23:36,744
I have business to take care of.
1566
01:23:36,777 --> 01:23:40,548
I gotta take my $500 check
and go pick up my van.
1567
01:23:41,314 --> 01:23:42,749
-Oh, thank you.
-Yeah.
1568
01:23:42,783 --> 01:23:44,752
Hey, Coach. This is for you.
1569
01:23:44,784 --> 01:23:46,620
So you can see your daughter.
1570
01:23:47,220 --> 01:23:49,490
-For real?
-Yeah.
1571
01:23:51,859 --> 01:23:53,728
You can pay me back
when we get paid.
1572
01:23:53,761 --> 01:23:54,796
For real?
1573
01:23:55,729 --> 01:23:58,265
It should be about
next week, bully boy.
1574
01:24:05,605 --> 01:24:06,740
How's it, brah?
1575
01:24:08,175 --> 01:24:10,812
-Moment of truth, huh?
-Yeah, cashed my check.
1576
01:24:10,845 --> 01:24:13,714
I got your $500,
and the rest goes to my ex.
1577
01:24:13,747 --> 01:24:15,650
Look, man, I saw you
on the news.
1578
01:24:15,682 --> 01:24:17,584
-For real?
-Yeah, I thought that was
1579
01:24:17,618 --> 01:24:20,188
a cool thing that you did, man,
stopping the developers
1580
01:24:20,220 --> 01:24:23,057
-on the hotel and the beach.
-Yeah, but it wasn't only me.
1581
01:24:23,524 --> 01:24:25,693
Look, man, I hooked you up
on the van, man.
1582
01:24:25,725 --> 01:24:28,095
I put a new battery in it, man.
Tuned it up, man.
1583
01:24:28,128 --> 01:24:29,830
And put some new tires
on it for you, man.
1584
01:24:29,863 --> 01:24:31,765
-Solid, man. Thank you!
-Yeah, man.
1585
01:24:31,798 --> 01:24:33,567
Runs good enough
to get you home, man.
1586
01:24:34,268 --> 01:24:36,471
The bug over there,
that is home.
1587
01:24:36,503 --> 01:24:38,672
And I found a new parking space.
1588
01:24:38,706 --> 01:24:40,241
-Yeah? Where's that?
-At work.
1589
01:24:40,274 --> 01:24:42,410
My boss is solid.
He's cool with that.
1590
01:24:42,443 --> 01:24:44,712
You'll never be late
for work, man.
1591
01:24:45,546 --> 01:24:47,315
I never thought about it
that way.
1592
01:24:47,347 --> 01:24:48,782
Right? Yeah, man!
1593
01:24:48,815 --> 01:24:50,784
-Here you go, brah.
-All right, brotha.
1594
01:25:13,707 --> 01:25:16,410
Not bad! Four out of five stars.
1595
01:25:16,443 --> 01:25:18,479
-Woo!
-From the Super Reviewer.
1596
01:25:18,511 --> 01:25:20,614
Super Reviewer. You know this
whole idea of Time
1597
01:25:20,648 --> 01:25:22,617
wanting to change the name
of this hotel?
1598
01:25:22,649 --> 01:25:26,353
Number one Aloha Surf Hotel
Retreat and Spa and Yogurt Shop.
1599
01:25:26,386 --> 01:25:29,256
Whatever he did
is actually working.
1600
01:25:29,289 --> 01:25:31,291
You know, it is crazy,
but we're showing up
1601
01:25:31,324 --> 01:25:33,527
at all the top of the searches.
At the top of the searches!
1602
01:25:33,560 --> 01:25:35,262
-How does he even know that?
-He went to school.
1603
01:25:35,296 --> 01:25:37,265
Went to college.
And whatever it is,
1604
01:25:37,297 --> 01:25:39,366
he's pulling us out
of this nosedive.
1605
01:25:39,399 --> 01:25:40,501
Woo-hoo!
1606
01:25:41,502 --> 01:25:43,337
-Checking out?
-Yes.
1607
01:25:43,369 --> 01:25:45,438
But we also look for tennis pro.
1608
01:25:45,471 --> 01:25:47,874
Oh, sorry,
he's gone for the day.
1609
01:25:47,908 --> 01:25:50,245
-Oh.
-This is for pro.
1610
01:25:56,684 --> 01:26:00,354
Eight hundred eighty-eight
dollar. Very lucky number.
1611
01:26:00,386 --> 01:26:02,489
-Lucky number.
-What?
1612
01:26:02,523 --> 01:26:05,693
Yeah, the pro,
he throw my phone in ocean.
1613
01:26:05,725 --> 01:26:07,227
It was best gift for us.
1614
01:26:07,962 --> 01:26:09,897
We know each other now.
1615
01:26:09,930 --> 01:26:11,499
Really know.
1616
01:26:11,532 --> 01:26:13,701
Only pictures in our head.
1617
01:26:14,301 --> 01:26:15,703
Romantic-y pictures.
1618
01:26:16,337 --> 01:26:18,372
We're really happy to hear that.
1619
01:26:18,404 --> 01:26:22,342
And we will tell all China
about this place.
1620
01:26:22,376 --> 01:26:24,278
And the funny little tennis man.
1621
01:26:24,310 --> 01:26:27,247
He teach us the way
to true love.
1622
01:26:27,881 --> 01:26:29,317
No selfies.
1623
01:26:29,882 --> 01:26:31,919
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
1624
01:26:34,020 --> 01:26:37,324
-Aloha.
-Mahalo.
1625
01:26:37,358 --> 01:26:38,826
You better give that to Tai.
1626
01:26:43,264 --> 01:26:44,732
You okay, brah?
1627
01:26:45,599 --> 01:26:49,003
You know, being like that
for 17 days and nights--
1628
01:26:49,036 --> 01:26:50,771
It was like six hours.
1629
01:26:50,804 --> 01:26:54,242
Having my voice robbed of me
for the first time...
1630
01:26:54,908 --> 01:26:56,777
gave me some time to think.
1631
01:26:56,810 --> 01:26:59,280
-That's a good thing, right?
-I don't know.
1632
01:26:59,313 --> 01:27:02,650
I've been thinking I should
probably go back to New Jersey.
1633
01:27:03,751 --> 01:27:05,253
Maybe not a bad idea.
1634
01:27:06,654 --> 01:27:08,589
You might ask yourself,
1635
01:27:08,622 --> 01:27:13,394
but what about the thousands
of students that need me here?
1636
01:27:13,426 --> 01:27:16,663
Who love me and, like, adore me.
1637
01:27:16,697 --> 01:27:18,700
Might ask, but didn't.
1638
01:27:19,365 --> 01:27:23,370
You know, I realized that
they don't really love me.
1639
01:27:24,371 --> 01:27:27,008
They just love the myth
of the person
1640
01:27:27,041 --> 01:27:29,444
I'm telling them
that they can be.
1641
01:27:29,842 --> 01:27:30,977
It's narcissism.
1642
01:27:31,011 --> 01:27:32,913
Oh, you're getting deep, huh?
1643
01:27:32,945 --> 01:27:35,315
It's Maya. It's an illusion.
1644
01:27:35,748 --> 01:27:36,883
Because...
1645
01:27:38,118 --> 01:27:40,855
because I've just been really
regurgitating meanless words
1646
01:27:40,887 --> 01:27:44,924
that I learned in a creepy
Ashram in Karnataka.
1647
01:27:44,957 --> 01:27:48,495
You're right.
We're in Hawaii nei.
1648
01:27:48,529 --> 01:27:51,699
We should be out there
riding the waves.
1649
01:27:51,731 --> 01:27:54,401
If you like,
I can show you tomorrow.
1650
01:27:55,336 --> 01:27:58,472
-Tomorrow I fly.
-What you gonna do?
1651
01:27:58,505 --> 01:28:01,276
I've been taking online
real estate courses.
1652
01:28:03,577 --> 01:28:06,381
Oh. You got my blessings.
1653
01:28:07,347 --> 01:28:08,849
Hey, man, don't mock me, okay?
1654
01:28:12,519 --> 01:28:16,057
Hey, what's your real name?
1655
01:28:17,091 --> 01:28:20,495
-Can you tell me your name?
-No, I can't do that, man. No.
1656
01:28:20,894 --> 01:28:22,563
-How about Joe?
-No.
1657
01:28:22,595 --> 01:28:24,731
How about Bill? Milton?
1658
01:28:24,765 --> 01:28:26,000
-No.
-Tommy?
1659
01:28:26,033 --> 01:28:27,401
-No.
-Mitchell?
1660
01:28:27,434 --> 01:28:28,736
-No.
-Logan?
1661
01:28:28,769 --> 01:28:29,870
Not even close.
1662
01:28:29,903 --> 01:28:31,906
Hey, you know what? Um...
1663
01:28:33,039 --> 01:28:34,975
I got something for you, okay?
1664
01:28:36,844 --> 01:28:38,446
Here, this is yours now.
1665
01:28:38,845 --> 01:28:40,980
Oh, I got something
for you too, brah.
1666
01:28:41,014 --> 01:28:42,817
Here. Yours.
1667
01:28:43,484 --> 01:28:44,786
Keep it fresh, bro.
1668
01:28:46,819 --> 01:28:47,988
Hey, thanks, brah.
1669
01:28:48,822 --> 01:28:50,524
Hey, shaka, okay?
1670
01:28:58,631 --> 01:28:59,866
Dad!
1671
01:29:01,135 --> 01:29:02,970
-Dad?
-Alana!
1672
01:29:03,002 --> 01:29:05,972
What you doin' here?
Is this your weekend?
1673
01:29:06,006 --> 01:29:08,543
No, but you gotta get dressed
and cleaned up.
1674
01:29:10,978 --> 01:29:13,715
Surprise. I made this for you.
1675
01:29:15,416 --> 01:29:16,451
Happy early birthday.
1676
01:29:16,884 --> 01:29:18,419
Whoa.
1677
01:29:18,452 --> 01:29:21,622
Dad, it's,
it's really beautiful.
1678
01:29:21,654 --> 01:29:23,623
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
1679
01:29:25,792 --> 01:29:28,061
Okay, but we gotta go,
and you need to get dressed.
1680
01:29:28,095 --> 01:29:30,631
-I am dressed.
-At least change your shirt.
1681
01:29:30,663 --> 01:29:32,766
-Why?
-You passed!
1682
01:29:32,800 --> 01:29:34,969
-I passed?
-Yes. Let's go.
1683
01:29:35,002 --> 01:29:37,505
Completing just that one
math credit
1684
01:29:37,537 --> 01:29:41,174
actually vaulted him
into our college history book.
1685
01:29:42,775 --> 01:29:44,711
Yeah, Dad! Woo!
1686
01:29:46,680 --> 01:29:48,883
Because that one final
math credit
1687
01:29:49,515 --> 01:29:51,885
means he's actually completed
degrees in the following...
1688
01:29:51,918 --> 01:29:53,753
And I'll list them
alphabetically.
1689
01:29:53,787 --> 01:29:56,491
Alphabetization
optimization,
1690
01:29:56,856 --> 01:30:00,127
astronomy, auctioneering,
biohazard removal,
1691
01:30:00,828 --> 01:30:04,031
bagpiping, baking,
cannabis studies,
1692
01:30:04,064 --> 01:30:07,001
couples therapy,
criminal justice,
1693
01:30:07,033 --> 01:30:10,003
fermentation sciences,
midwifery,
1694
01:30:10,037 --> 01:30:12,773
paralegal studies,
paranormal studies,
1695
01:30:12,805 --> 01:30:16,109
plumbing, puppetry,
solar installation,
1696
01:30:16,143 --> 01:30:18,813
and turtle husbandry.
1697
01:30:21,515 --> 01:30:23,651
So why don't you come on up
and get your degree,
1698
01:30:23,684 --> 01:30:26,554
Mr. Tai Gonzo Alonzo!
1699
01:30:28,654 --> 01:30:30,523
Yeah!
1700
01:30:30,556 --> 01:30:34,494
What a unbelievable time.
I feel official.
1701
01:30:34,962 --> 01:30:37,731
Hold on, sistah.
You forgot one thing.
1702
01:30:37,764 --> 01:30:39,967
Philosophy of surf!
1703
01:30:44,171 --> 01:30:47,008
My apologies.
It is also, indeed, on the list.
1704
01:30:54,747 --> 01:30:56,683
-Proud of you.
-Thank you.
1705
01:30:57,050 --> 01:30:58,519
All right! Yeah!
1706
01:30:59,219 --> 01:31:01,823
So I say this
to all the kids out there:
1707
01:31:02,855 --> 01:31:04,624
It pays to stay in school!
1708
01:31:40,860 --> 01:31:43,630
Ya-hoo! How's the young bums?
1709
01:31:44,096 --> 01:31:45,298
Woo!
1710
01:31:45,332 --> 01:31:47,067
You know, Tai,
1711
01:31:47,100 --> 01:31:49,103
we should try kiting
one of these days.
1712
01:31:49,136 --> 01:31:52,206
Brah, there's nothing more sad
than a surfer that used to surf.
1713
01:31:52,238 --> 01:31:53,940
Who said that one, Dad?
1714
01:31:54,908 --> 01:31:56,877
I don't know.
But I think I will claim 'em.
1715
01:31:58,912 --> 01:32:00,815
-Hey!
-Get out of here.
1716
01:32:04,083 --> 01:32:06,886
♪ Watchin' people pass me by ♪
1717
01:32:06,920 --> 01:32:09,790
♪ Anything to pass the time ♪
1718
01:32:09,823 --> 01:32:12,593
♪ Weird to think
We're all the same ♪
1719
01:32:12,626 --> 01:32:16,063
♪ But completely different
Ain't it strange, uh-huh ♪
1720
01:32:16,762 --> 01:32:20,800
♪ Oh, I see
This world surrounding me ♪
1721
01:32:20,833 --> 01:32:23,636
No doubt. Look, I hate it, okay?
1722
01:32:23,670 --> 01:32:25,639
What's the point?
They just check their phones.
1723
01:32:25,671 --> 01:32:28,174
What? Yep. Huh? Tai!
1724
01:32:28,207 --> 01:32:30,677
-You suck as a weatherman.
-Hold on a second.
1725
01:32:30,711 --> 01:32:32,279
I don't suck that bad.
1726
01:32:34,948 --> 01:32:36,584
I forgot my line.
1727
01:32:36,617 --> 01:32:38,986
-Keep doing it.
-Oh.
1728
01:32:39,019 --> 01:32:41,122
So what are you gonna do
about it, Dad?
1729
01:32:42,989 --> 01:32:45,124
-Watch.
1730
01:32:45,158 --> 01:32:47,194
Okay. Cut, good.
1731
01:32:48,127 --> 01:32:49,662
Psst. Brah.
1732
01:32:51,131 --> 01:32:53,100
Cut! Can you hear that?
1733
01:32:53,132 --> 01:32:54,667
Huh?
1734
01:32:54,701 --> 01:32:56,137
You do it already?
1735
01:32:56,703 --> 01:32:59,106
Elvis Presley put his okole
right here, brah.
1736
01:32:59,139 --> 01:33:00,774
And went.
1737
01:33:00,806 --> 01:33:02,775
Portuguese bean soup
all over the place.
1738
01:33:02,809 --> 01:33:05,913
-What's wrong with you? Hey!
1739
01:33:05,945 --> 01:33:09,716
Indeed. Yoga is for the meek
and the cripple.
1740
01:33:09,750 --> 01:33:14,088
Anyways... listen!
1741
01:33:33,340 --> 01:33:36,210
I'm holding a fart so bad,
you guys don't even know.
1742
01:33:36,243 --> 01:33:39,213
I'm so used to it,
I wouldn't even know.
1743
01:33:39,246 --> 01:33:43,985
Do the thing you feel the most,
and then you suddenly die.
1744
01:33:49,855 --> 01:33:52,626
-That's what I said.
-No, you said go on one.
1745
01:33:53,092 --> 01:33:55,362
-Three.
-No smiling, Cyrus.
1746
01:34:06,739 --> 01:34:08,141
-Oh.
-cut.
1747
01:34:08,175 --> 01:34:09,710
Hilarious.
1748
01:34:10,243 --> 01:34:12,846
That's all right. It's your
van seat. It's not mine.
1749
01:34:12,878 --> 01:34:15,181
-So get it on camera.
-How's it?
1750
01:34:15,215 --> 01:34:17,685
-Moment of truth, huh?
-Yeah, look, hey.
1751
01:34:17,717 --> 01:34:20,319
I cashed my check.
I got your $500.
1752
01:34:20,353 --> 01:34:22,857
-And I think--
1753
01:34:23,856 --> 01:34:25,225
Sorry.
1754
01:34:25,992 --> 01:34:28,362
-Keep rolling.
-The pig's still going there.
1755
01:34:29,128 --> 01:34:31,931
♪ One more day, oh, oh, oh ♪
1756
01:34:31,965 --> 01:34:34,768
♪ One more day, oh, oh, oh, oh