Previously on "Stumptown"...
It's a peer-to-peer group that I go to.
You should come.
Vets and active military from all over the country
drop in whenever they're in town.
It's no big deal.
The people I work for?
They're into something way bigger.
I wanna know what else they're up to. I wanna know the bigger play.
We stumbled into something above our pay grade.
Heroin.
Hoffman, we have a problem.
How'd your crew score the heroin?
They told me they boosted a delivery truck
and the drugs were on the back.
Arrieta.
You're a jackass and you're dirty.
You're on the take with whoever got their heroin stolen?
What's the plan now?
I get someone to front as a buyer.
We need your help, Dex.
Rear view mirror?
Check.
Side view? Check.
Brake?
Check.
Turn signal? Check.
Seat belt?
Check.
Hands?
Check.
Okay, buddy.
Let's eat.
Here you go.
For you.
Good burger.
Dex, when do I get to drive?
Ansel, slow down!
Well, don't look at me! Look at the road!
Look at this...
I don't want to die.
All in good time, buddy.
All in good time.
Can you explain this?
It looks like an application.
With your handwriting on it.
Well, I helped fill it out.
So, it was your idea? Did I say that?
Well, he got it from somewhere.
Well, maybe he's sick of having people
drive him around all the time, okay?
He wants a little independence.
And I think that's normal. No, it's dangerous.
Don't you think you're overreacting just a little bit?
It is my job to protect him.
Fine. Then don't sign it.
Yeah, sure. Make me the bad guy.
Well, I'm not his legal guardian.
So yes, it's up to you.
Look, Ansel likes cars.
He wants to drive.
Guess what? Your brother's a dude.
Am I interrupting?
Yeah. No.
Either way, let's get started.
Name?
What're we, role playing now?
Just answer the question.
Chrystal.
Chrystal what?
Is this jackass for real?
She just call me a jackass?
Look, the less we know about each other,
the less chance we rat each other out
if one of us gets pinched.
And the fact that you guys don't know that
tells me you're a bunch of chooches.
All you need to know is I have a million dollars cash
not far from here.
And you, you have a ton of heroin
that you need to unload before you make a stupid mistake
and end up in jail or dead or worse.
And trust me, there is a worse.
So... shall we make a deal?
I mean, she had me at "chooches."
Don't underestimate these guys.
They're in over their heads.
That makes them unpredictable.
Once you meet Leo, you wait for him to call.
If he does... Wild guess...
I give them the money, and I take the drugs.
Is the sarcasm really necessary?
This is serious.
I know. One last thing...
What's this? Basic boilerplate stuff.
Protects the department against lawsuits
in the highly unlikely event that you're killed...
Or maimed.
I had to sign one, too.
Maimed?
You'll be in and out.
No one's getting maimed.
Table is dirty.
Must'a just happened.
No, there were 10 spots, right in front.
And for a half a block walk, we park for free.
Can I help you?
Yeah. What kind of food do you serve here?
Burgers and fries.
It says so right there... burgers and fries.
I asked him. He works here.
I'm looking him right in the eyes.
I ask him a simple question, yet you have to answer.
You know, you could be Stephen Hawking,
I could ask you about string theory,
she'd answer for you.
Well, where do you want to sit?
Now he wants my opinion.
Yes. Like I want gout.
You know what? Sit where you like.
I cede to you that awesome power.
Thank you.
Let it be on your tombstone.
"Here lies Morris Zivkin.
His life? Meh.
But at least he sat where he liked."
Well, believe me, if I went to my grave tomorrow...
you'd come with me, out of spite.
What's up?
Tookie, Grey left me in charge. I need your help.
So, I understand your client has agreed to cooperate.
If his conditions are met.
You say that like you have leverage.
My client's taking a huge risk talking to you.
Your client took a huge risk when he went on the take.
He has information. We want assurances.
Federal pen, out of state, and I want protective custody.
Not my call.
Cosgrove has pull.
Yeah, but you burned that bridge.
You tell me what I need to know,
maybe I'll put in a good word.
"Maybe's" not good enough.
Maybe...
I open these blinds.
The whole squad room sees you in here, no union rep.
You know cops... they talk, they gossip.
I wonder how long before those people you work for
find out that you ratted them out.
Last chance.
Where are they?
Detective, if you think
you are going to threaten my client...
Seattle.
They work for people who work for people.
It's like one of those Russian dolls.
What do they know about the heroin?
They know it's gone missing.
They coming to get it back?
Not personally.
Too smart.
So, they send a contract man to retrieve it.
Or the money it was sold for.
Or kill whoever took it.
How long do we have?
These people, they don't mess around.
So if you're gonna pull a sting, you better do it fast.
Hey.
Hello.
This is Chrystal.
Chrystal.
Well, you must be Leo.
I hear good things.
Grey's word goes a long way with us.
Well, Grey is a man of his word.
If he wasn't, I would not be here.
I got a question.
Okay. Shoot.
It's more of an observation.
I don't see a lot of women doing this kind of thing.
I thought it was pretty progressive up here.
Turns out that chauvinistic pigs are alive and well in Portland.
What'd you call me? Sit down, Scuzzy.
Man, don't worry about it. I ain't gonna hit a lady.
Well, I can take care of myself.
I wasn't talking about you.
Well, you run a tight ship.
Back off, Scuzz.
Sit down.
Well, money is ready to go,
if you're ready to show me the product.
We'll keep you in mind.
There's some other interested parties we're talking to.
Well, you better talk fast.
I go back to L.A. tonight.
Well, what's the hurry?
I value my life.
You talk to people, they talk, word spreads.
People you ripped off might want their product back, right?
So, you wanna do business with me, give me a call.
You have until midnight.
Pleasure.
Everything is falling apart.
Look at them.
I'll deal with them in a minute.
What's our biggest problem?
Corduroy, with sweater-shoulder wrap-around. My God.
Ansel, you're looking at the worst type of customers
in the foodi-verse.
Watch and learn, kiddo.
Ma'am, sir, I understand you have some issues
with the service.
You call this service?
My... His hamburger is raw.
And my... His fries are cold.
And my soup... Never came.
Can I speak?
My deepest apologies, but you're in luck.
Your meal's on the house.
Our meal is terrible.
His hamburger is still mooing.
Not that meal.
The meal I'm about to prepare just for you.
Tacos chicharon,
with my signature mole...
and drinks on the house.
What do you say?
Hey, I found the courier.
Yeah, he stopped to deliver a package
and left the keys in the van.
When he came out, it was gone.
Yes, sir. He told me where the van was stolen.
Good news is he never reported it,
so I'll have a leg up on the police
in tracking it all down.
Other than that, he didn't have much to say.
I'll call you when I have the next update.
What if he's just not ready?
Then he's not gonna pass the driver's test. That's it.
And then the problem will solve itself.
It's a non-issue.
You guys want to finish that?
The bait's on the hook.
So, now we wait?
No. Now Grey goes in,
and he, closes the deal with these guys.
If I go in too hard, it'll blow the deal.
They'll go with Dex. She made the right impression.
I think they're just super scared
and they want to get rid of the stuff.
Don't blame them.
The guys who lost the drugs
are sending someone to get it back,
and they may be in town already.
Well, that's not disconcerting at all.
Good thing we signed the waiver.
Either of you wants out, now's the time.
Is that funny?
No, that's not funny, no.
But, I mean, this is kind of funny.
What is?
This. Us.
The three of us standing here together.
We're working together now.
I mean...
It's a little awkward.
Yeah. I think it... it... I think it...
Why?
You were both inside of me.
I mean, not at the same time.
Group hug, I think?
Let's take a selfie, just so...
Least t-take... okay, fi... fi... high fives.
Okay.
Hey, Dex. Poppy, hi.
I wasn't sure you'd be back.
Yeah. Me either.
But I was in the neighborhood, so, you know?
- I'm glad you're here. - Poppy, you're up.
- Sorry. - I got winners, so...
No worries. I'll catch you later.
Good.
Hey, what can I get for you?
- Hey, whiskey neat, please. - Coming right up.
Howdy.
Hey.
I'm Violet.
Dex.
Interesting name.
It's, short for something.
It's a long, excruciatingly boring story.
The corps didn't teach you how to embellish the truth
to make yourself half interesting?
How'd you know I was a Marine?
Bootlaces. Jarhead wrap-around.
Old habits.
And, you... let me guess.
You're, Army.
Is it that obvious?
Who else would be stupid enough to insult a Marine?
How long were you in?
14 years, CID.
Criminal Investigation. Interesting. Where?
Slums of Manila, the favelas of El Salvador.
Anywhere our boys, mostly boys...
were behaving badly.
You? Marine intelligence.
That's an oxymoron.
Touché.
Stationed where?
A little Iraq. Mostly Afghanistan.
Good times. The fun zone.
And now?
Medical sales.
That sounds...
Boring. I know.
I prefer boring these days.
So...
You come to a lot of these things?
No. This is my, second time.
Just looking for people... Like me?
Normal people wouldn't understand.
So you're... abnormal? Deflects with a joke.
Well...
Yeah, I was in that stage for a while.
You've seen stuff.
I can tell.
It's all there behind the eyes.
But you don't wear it. Don't brag about it.
Probably have a few commendations
lying in a junk drawer somewhere,
out of sight, out of mind.
Ironic how they give medals
for things you're trying to forget,
things you did for the right reasons,
but that you can't forgive yourself for...
am I in the ballpark?
Pretty much, yeah.
You know, wherever I am, traveling around the country,
I check into one of these groups,
and it's like friends wherever you go.
Well, I'll buy you a drink, friend?
Sure. As long as you don't bust my chops.
My drink. Sea-breeze.
Grapefruit, cranberry, and vodka.
Celery stalk.
Well, you're army,
so I guess something super fruity makes perfect sense.
I am stuffed.
This meal was... Delicious.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Okay.
I think I have them covered.
You saved my butt.
But I know them from somewhere.
I can't quite place it, but I'm sure I know them.
You okay, Took?
I really could have taken an Uber.
It's no trouble.
Besides, you're staying in Snob Hill.
If you're living in style, why not travel in style?
Sorry, are you laughing at my sweet, sweet ride?
You are very funny.
I'm just gonna... Yeah, it's broken.
It... You just got to let it play out.
Gotcha.
So, you going anywhere after?
Got a nice bottle of Carignan, if you wanna...
I wanna.
What's Carignan?
Sweet.
Beats a hotel.
For a few nights.
Gives me the illusion I'm home.
Love all this retro stuff.
Feels like I'm walking into someone's life...
you know, someone hipper and much more stylish than me.
Bender.
Cool.
Maybe later?
I mean, seriously, one is creepy. Four?
Novelty gifts for clients.
It's a long, excruciatingly boring story.
The view sucks.
Yeah. It's terrible, right?
What you were saying before
about not being able to forgive myself.
Yeah, well, look, there are two types of people in the world.
Those who fight their demons and those who embrace them.
Which one do you think I am?
Only you can answer that.
But...
maybe not tonight.
I don't even have your number.
Here.
Add yours to my contacts.
Okay.
You want to know something kind of cheesy but completely honest?
Sure.
I feel like I could float away right now.
Really cheesy.
I feel the same way.
Here.
Dress that line, Mister.
Redo those buttons.
Dress that belt buckle!
Straighten that cap.
What's that on your chest, Cheesecake?
It's a flair pin, sir.
A flair pin?
On your uniform?
It's a cheeseburger.
You will report to this restaurant
tonight and every night at 19:00 hours.
And without that flair pin!
Tookie.
Sorry. Be right back. Excuse me.
Bad review.
"The mole was delicious and well-prepared"...
Keep reading.
..."if you've just emerged from being trapped in a well
for four years,
having only subsisted on insects, rainwater,
and various types of mold."
Yikes.
"Bad Alibi is simply the worst kitchen
serving the worst food in Portland."
It's that married couple from Hell.
They're talking about my mole.
But they said they like it.
That's what cowards do.
Smile to your face and stab you in the Yelp.
Grey's gon... gonna be mad.
Hey, one bad review won't kill us, alright?
I know them from somewhere.
Hey, what's up?
Gotta get my application in
for an exchange program next semester.
The Wi-Fi here sucks.
Hey, Max. Hey.
What you doing? Nothing. Just thinking.
Yeah?
What you thinking about?
Douglas, Arizona.
What's in Douglas, Arizona?
Nothing.
I mean, maybe a few good places to eat.
An old movie theater.
You like old movies?
Max, you have a way of talking around things.
It's just one of those places, you know,
that no one really goes to, so...
I was thinking maybe no one would really look for us there.
God, I feel like the school principal.
Catching you two under the bleachers.
Suck it, Scuzz.
Looks like someone needs to go to detention.
Or get expelled.
Alright, first of all,
your metaphors suck.
And second of all, Scuzzy,
you remind me of one of those guys
who's just dying to get his ass kicked.
And I'll tell you, I'm happy to do it.
Hey.
How's that?
How's that? Yeah?
How's now?
Is there a problem here?
No, there's not a problem here.
Grey's trying to get in your girl's pants.
Is that true?
Well, first of all, as a general rule,
you shouldn't listen to guys named Scuzzy, Leo.
Max?
Leo, we're all trusting you have this handled.
So if you're about to crack up here,
you better tell me right now.
I'm sick of this crap.
I'm out.
Not doing it.
You sure about that?
'Cause I want to go with your buyer.
Hate for you to miss out on that finder's fee.
Yeah, that would suck.
Have her here tomorrow with the cash at noon.
That's a deal.
Because if I go to Paris,
then the credits won't transfer.
That's why.
Thank you!
Mom. What a jerk.
Mom!
I'm going to Madrid or I'm not going anywhere.
Excuse me.
You're excused.
Don't move.
You have a rather large bee on your neck.
What? Where? Don't move.
Seriously.
Just, right there.
Oh, my god.
Did it sting you?
What the hell did you do to me?
Why don't you just, lie down here for a little bit.
There you go.
Madrid.
You stole a van.
That van had product in it.
My employer wants his, product back.
Feel this?
That's a blow torch. Oh, my god!
Which I can fire up right now, or you can spare yourself...
No, I want to spare myself!
I definitely want to spare myself!
Start talking.
I'm in this crew. We steal cars.
We didn't know that the van had drugs in it.
But we took it as a goof.
But yeah, we have the drugs.
The guy in charge, Leo...
y-you want me to give you his full name,
age, telephone number, what?
Later.
So, Leo's gonna sell them.
But he brought this new guy into the crew... Grey.
Grey's bringing up the buyer.
But Leo's setting him up.
He's gonna keep the drugs.
He's gonna take the buyer's money
and kill Grey.
But Grey doesn't know that.
I would think not.
You want to tell me where this is going down?
You show the cash and leave.
You're not there for the exchange.
Grey can handle the logistics.
That's what you say. And you clear out, okay?
This cash real?
Yeah.
Grey, you give her like five minutes to leave
before you ask to see the drugs.
As soon as the drugs are presented, we move in.
Everybody clear? Yeah, clear.
Clear. Alright. Sit tight.
Cool.
It's crazy, right?
Yeah.
Anything I should know?
No. I don't know. Like what?
Like something you're not telling me.
I can tell you're hiding stuff.
Me? Yeah.
No. I'm... I'm good.
Okay, so, the woman in the gang,
the pretty one with the dreadlocks...
Those aren't dreadlocks.
I knew it.
Here's the truth...
she didn't want to be involved in any of this.
Why do men do this? She's under Leo's thumb.
The whole savior complex thing is so played out.
It's just not fair to her to go down with him on this.
She still has you on the hook, Grey.
What are you talking about?
She does.
- She's playing you. - No, she...
- Yeah, she is. - No, she... Okay.
She does not have me on the hook, okay?
- She just... She just doesn't. - Okay.
But...
if she could fall off the truck somehow, safely,
when all this went down,
that'd be great.
And how are you gonna pull that off?
Grey, we got to get you ready, go get a wire.
Yeah. No, I was just gonna zip it.
I'll get that side. That side...
I can take it.
I got it. Thanks.
You got it. Yeah.
You got it.
You said one bad review won't kill us.
Sorry. I was lying to make you feel better.
You should be chef.
Joyful Enrichment!
I remember who they are!
It was before PDX Mex.
Back when I was the Big Mensch-ilada.
I got this catering gig for a mental health retreat.
And these people stiffed me on the bill.
When I made noise, they threatened
to report me to the health department.
That's them. They killed the Big Mensch-ilada.
Couples therapists.
I know what you're thinking...
how do a couple of phonies like this
give life advice to people?
You know what the answer is?
Because the world sucks sometimes, hermano.
Can we egg their house?
I understand your frustration, but we can't.
And where did you come up with that?
When I played soccer at school,
one of the dads said a mean thing about me.
So Dex egged their house.
Of course she did.
Why so grim?
You guys look like you're going to the electric chair.
We can do this in my office.
Sounds good.
Nice meeting you guys.
Hey, it was really nice to meet you.
Yeah. Take care, Max.
Well, hot damn.
This is where I delegate.
Meet you at the spot?
Sounds good.
Pleasure doing business with you.
How do you know her?
I think we're done playing "get to know each other."
You want to do a deal or no?
I don't know what you're doing here, but you need to leave.
I can't.
- Dex... - My best friend is back there.
Please.
You need to go.
I don't want to have to kill you, too.
Okay.
Quickly.
Alright.
So, where do you want to do this?
Here.
Here?
You keep the drugs in the office?
No.
But the money stays here.
Come on, man.
You are not that stupid, Leo.
Move.
Where's Max?
Ladies room? I don't know.
Turn around.
Sorry, dude.
Portland PD! On the ground! On the ground!
- Portland PD! - Drop the weapon! Drop the weapon!
- Freeze! - Get on the ground!
- Put your hands up now! - You! Don't move!
Get on the ground!
Put your hands up!
On the ground! On the ground! Don't move!
Where's Grey?
And the girl?
Cops. Great.
We're never gonna lose them in this piece of...
Hey! She don't look like much,
but she got it where it counts, kid.
Hey.
Hey, Dex, will you do me a favor?
Hang on.
Exit the vehicle immediately!
Slowly!
Put your hands where I can see them.
Slow.
Ma'am, this is police business.
Now, if y'all please step aside.
I don't think so.
- It's the law, ma'am. - Not here.
You're on the rez now.
But this man is wanted.
Do you have a warrant?
We were in pursuit well before...
Regulations dictate you contact tribal police.
Did you?
I think we'll take that as a no.
Officer, you have no jurisdiction here,
pursuant to any number of self-governance treaties
I'd be more than happy to cite.
Okie dokie.
Thank you for that.
Hey, thank Dex.
I owe her.
I think we all do.
You're welcome to pass through.
But she needs to keep moving
before the police realize I just lied to them.
Understood.
Oh, my god.
So, I guess you're good to go.
Yeah.
Hey, are you sure about this?
'Cause I could talk to the cop,
and, maybe he can make a deal for you.
I'd be looking at time regardless.
You could come with me.
No, I can't.
I've been on the run before.
There's no peace in it.
You know, you're not gonna last long.
Tending bar.
Living a square life.
It's not for you.
So...
whenever you do decide to bolt,
just, don't beat yourself up.
Seriously?
I give you my truck,
and that's the last thing you want to say to me?
If you're ever in the mood for an old movie,
you know where to find me.
See you around.
The drugs were found stashed in the warehouse.
And, Charles "Chaz" Wyatt...
he was found dumped on the side of the road, alive.
So he's already lawyered up.
And the hit-woman,
or the alleged hit-woman, that Dex gave us...
well, she was staying at an Airbnb under an alias.
The phone she gave Dex was a burner, so she's in the wind.
Nice job on this, man.
Thanks, Hoffman.
As promised, you get a cut of the street value
of the confiscated drugs for $35,000.
35 thou...
Why did you haul ass out to the reservation?
Well, I had a gun pointed at me, you know?
I had a chance to run for my life, so I took it.
You know, it's like the old saying goes...
it's better to ask for forgiveness
than, to ask for permission
to get shot and killed.
And Max wasn't with you?
Which one is Max again?
'Cause Crime Scene found this note
on the warehouse floor...
"My truck. Now. Meet you there soon."
Looks like your handwriting, Grey.
No.
Charades.
This was from Charades from a couple nights ago.
Max was my partner.
Perfectly good explanation.
Hope she was worth it.
I'm just kidding, man.
That'd be a breach of contract.
You could sue my ass.
Yeah.
That's cold, man.
Yeah. You deserved it, though.
Hey, Chaz's attorney is here.
He posted bail. You need to kick him.
Hey, man, I hope that covers your Charades lessons,
because I think you're playing it all wrong.
This is wrong, and it won't solve anything.
You understand that, right?
Yes.
Okay.
They're awake.
- Scram! - Go look!
Why do I have to go?! Why don't you go check?!
You good, Charles? You alright?
Yeah.
Thank you, Detective.
See you in court, Dad.
You want to talk about the face?
No. No, I do not.
I would like a beer, though.
You got it.
Hey, I, I signed this.
You were right.
I was thinking maybe I take road,
you take parallel parking.
I'm proud of you.
You know, I was thinking I would show up
and just find a note or something.
You and her, Bonnie and Clyde-ing up to Canada.
Thought about it, but, can't do it.
Can't run, not from yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah, bummer, isn't it?
Yeah, kinda is.
Plus, this place would fall apart without me.
I don't know about that.
Positive. Yeah. It would fall apart?
I think it would... You've been gone for like...
Grey... Don't.
There you go.
Where's that from?
Some, woman ordered it for you.
She was...
just here a second ago.