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- ♪ I can t ♪ a lot
about a girl on the first ♪
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- okay--
[overlapping shatter]
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[crowd gasping]
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- [sighs]
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alexa, turn on the lights.
- Okay.
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- Alexa, play "kenan's
slow jams for feeling sexy."
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- playing "kenan's
slow jams for feeling sexy"
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on amazon music.
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[seductive jazz melody]
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[phone buzzes]
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- hello?
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- [sexy voice]
hey, what's going on, girl?
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- Who is this?
- Oh, no, it's kenan!
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It's just kenan.
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You know, gary's brother,
from tonight?
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- Ohh.
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Hey!
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- Look, I was calling you
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because
I'd like to take you out.
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Not like murder you
or nothing like that.
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Just, you know, like,
out on a date.
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Sorry, I haven't done this
in a while.
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- You're doing fine.
[chuckles]
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- ♪ yeah!
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[cheers and applause]
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- sorry I missed the show,
I wanted to meet everybody.
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- Oh, you're not missing much.
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Tami an I really brought
the broadway vibes.
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And you and I are
gonna continue
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with a little "beauty
and the beast" right now.
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- [chuckles]
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- you ready?
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- Wait, I'm the beast?
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- You know I'm too pretty.
Come on.
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[orchestral music playing]
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we are so dirty.
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- Kenan, you've got kids.
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Why would you buy a lambo?
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- Forget my kids.
Can't have my lady riding
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around in any
old piece of junk.
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- Really?
'cause I would have guessed
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some slick salesperson
pressured you into buying it.
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- Wrong.
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He pressured me
into leasing it.
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- [laughs]
- hold on to something, girl.
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Yeah!
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[funky upbeat music]
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- ♪ daddy! D-d-daddy!
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- ♪ that's me, kenan, okay
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little babies are in bed,
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and I'm about to be
in these streets.
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- Ooh, another
late-night rendezvous
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with impromptu-vous!
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- That's your fourth
different girl
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off that app in a week.
- Yeah, you know me.
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I'm getting it in.
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With a bunch-a
different girls.
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- I don't know what it is
about you dating
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all these ladies
that got me all titillated.
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- Yeah, we ain't gotta
unpack that now.
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- Oh, I got time, so--
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- what's the matter,
little girl?
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- Daddy, my stomach hurts.
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- What, you want to do
our little trick?
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All right.
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♪ rub-a-dub-dub
on the tum in the tub ♪
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- [burps]
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- oh, that was a big one.
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- Yeah, it stank too.
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- Feeling better?
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All right, come on.
I'll tuck you back in.
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[grunts]
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big girl.
- [vomits]
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- ugh.
- Sorry, daddy.
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- No, I'm sorry
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that I let you eat
papa rick's homemade sushi.
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- I didn't make sushi.
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I'm thawing trout.
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- What? I had
a whole bunch of that.
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Oh...
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Oh hell,
now I'm gonna throw up.
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- No, no, no.
♪ rub-a-dub-dub in the--
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- that don't work.
It's coming up fast.
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- Oh, oh, oh!
- It's coming up faster now.
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- Aww, thank you
for the flowers, boo.
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Come here.
- You're welcome.
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I looked it up,
and the perfect gift
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for a three-month anniversary
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is a flower for every day
you've been together.
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So count the roses as 2 days
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and the sunflowers
as 3 1/2 days.
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- [laughs]
well, they're perfect.
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Was everything okay at home?
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You were a little late
getting here.
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- Oh, yeah, it just
took me a while to sneak out.
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- Sneak out?
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Wait, does your family
still not know we're dating?
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- No. Not at all.
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But you'll meet them.
Eventually.
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But, you know,
I just want this to be
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our thing.
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- Thing?
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That's funny, I've been
calling this thing
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a relationship.
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- No, no, I wasn't saying,
like, "this thing,"
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I was more saying,
like, "this thang."
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- oh, okay. Okay.
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So where do you see
this "thang" going?
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- Well, to more of this,
for sure.
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I would just like to keep this,
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you know,
between ourselves for now.
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'cause we're happy, right?
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- Yeah.
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Sure.
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I totally get
where you're coming from.
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- That's my girl.
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Glad we always
on the same page.
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So what we watching,
"clueless" or "the breakup"?
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.
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- Beat you to it!
- Oh--
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- damn, pam don't play.
[laughs]
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- okay, not everything
is a competition,
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all right, pam? In fact,
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evaluations are coming up,
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and guess who's gonna win that?
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Mi--mi--mi--mika!
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- Aw, that high note's
sounding great.
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- Whoa, check out phil.
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I'll bet you $5
he drops that tray.
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- Take that bet
with her money.
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- The oatmeal's a-slidin'!
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Oh! Nice recovery.
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He sees the end zone,
but there's still
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quite a few defenders
between him and the house.
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Oh! Sweet spin move!
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He might go all...The...Way!
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- Ohh!
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[chuckles]
- fumble on the one.
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Pam wins again.
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- Thanks for including me
in your fun ribbing.
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That means I'm
part of the crew, right?
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00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,106
- Oh, phil.
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00:04:51,108 --> 00:04:53,408
What must have middle school
looked like for you?
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- Like this,
but I was homeschooled.
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- Okay, that got sadder.
Let's go.
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Cleaning up.
- Yes, ma'am.
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- Pam, your commentary
was so fire
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you almost made
phil look athletic.
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- Thank you.
- You ever thought
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00:05:04,855 --> 00:05:06,288
about covering the games
on the weekends?
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- It's my dream.
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My butt-turd ex-manager
kept promising
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to make it happen,
but never did.
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- Mm, that's gross.
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Well, I know
a non-butt-turd manager,
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highly attractive,
looking to add
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to his exclusive roster
of talent.
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- Exclusive?
Kenan's your only client.
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- It's a boutique firm, pam.
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- I don't know, gary.
We're friends.
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What if this goes sideways?
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- The best things in life
go sideways.
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You know? Skateboards,
crabs when they walk,
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sex if you do it right.
- Mm-hmm.
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I mean, I do like
all those things.
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- Of course.
Come on, girl.
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Who gonna look out for you
better than your boy?
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Hmm?
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00:05:44,328 --> 00:05:46,094
- Okay. I'm in.
- Yeah?
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Yeah! Five.
High five, high five,
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high five, contract.
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Yeah.
- [chuckles]
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[off-key trumpet notes]
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- uh, birdie, baby,
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can you please not play
with balls in the house?
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00:05:58,342 --> 00:06:00,208
[trumpet playing]
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00:06:00,210 --> 00:06:02,677
[off-key trumpet notes]
aubrey. Aubrey, aubrey!
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00:06:02,679 --> 00:06:05,063
Can you please play
your trumpet elsewhere?
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00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,548
- Real encouraging, dad.
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00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:08,233
Luckily you weren't
miles davis' father.
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00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,752
- Well, if I was, he might
have stayed off that "heron."
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00:06:10,754 --> 00:06:12,521
- hey, family!
- Hey, uncle gary,
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00:06:12,523 --> 00:06:13,755
I learnt a new serve.
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00:06:13,757 --> 00:06:15,123
- Oh, let me see it.
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00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:22,948
- I'm gonna count to ten
real slow before I lose it.
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One.
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Two...
- Come on,
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00:06:25,235 --> 00:06:26,201
before he explodes!
- Three.
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00:06:26,203 --> 00:06:27,803
- Hurry, go, go, go!
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00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:30,172
- Hey, what's
we-bad-a.F.?
191
00:06:30,174 --> 00:06:32,541
- Oh, I finally got
my second client,
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00:06:32,543 --> 00:06:34,843
so I am officially a firm now.
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00:06:34,845 --> 00:06:37,345
Williams entertainment
bold and defiant artist firm.
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00:06:37,347 --> 00:06:39,614
And I just got pam
a meeting with georgia tech.
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In one hour, boy,
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she might be the next
color commentator
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00:06:42,586 --> 00:06:44,086
for the football games.
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00:06:44,088 --> 00:06:46,488
- Hey, that's great, man.
Congratulations.
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00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:48,757
- Appreciate it.
- Real, real proud of you.
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00:06:48,759 --> 00:06:50,025
Hey, listen, uh,
I'm gonna need you
201
00:06:50,027 --> 00:06:52,994
to push that meeting so you can
watch the girls for me.
202
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,030
I got some, uh, business
to handle tonight.
203
00:06:55,032 --> 00:06:55,997
- Can't do it.
204
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,332
I ain't got nothing for you
but some swag.
205
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:58,600
Whoo.
- Hey, ay.
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00:06:58,602 --> 00:07:00,402
- And it's $10 apiece,
so leave that on my bed.
207
00:07:00,404 --> 00:07:01,503
- But--but come on, man.
208
00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,405
Rick is out for the night.
He went to blind wally's.
209
00:07:03,407 --> 00:07:05,006
- Blind wally's the jazz club
or blind wally,
210
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:08,376
the psychic hobo
that live outside the deli?
211
00:07:08,378 --> 00:07:09,945
- I think they the same dude.
212
00:07:09,947 --> 00:07:11,413
- All right, well,
ask rick to ask him
213
00:07:11,415 --> 00:07:13,281
what my future look like,
'cause it's looking bright,
214
00:07:13,283 --> 00:07:14,416
you know what I'm saying?
215
00:07:14,418 --> 00:07:17,152
- Yup, yup,
yeah, I'm happy for you.
216
00:07:17,154 --> 00:07:19,187
Guess I'm gonna
have to get creative.
217
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:21,890
There she go!
218
00:07:21,892 --> 00:07:25,427
Aw, mika, thank you so much
for coming
219
00:07:25,429 --> 00:07:27,262
and watching the girls.
220
00:07:27,264 --> 00:07:29,865
I gotta go, uh, see somebody.
221
00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:32,968
- Mm. You mean the woman
you're secretly dating.
222
00:07:32,970 --> 00:07:34,803
- How'd you know about her?
223
00:07:34,805 --> 00:07:36,705
- Oh, I know everything
that's going on in my studio.
224
00:07:36,707 --> 00:07:38,140
And on my news desk.
225
00:07:38,142 --> 00:07:39,674
- You saw that?
226
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:41,009
Well, her name is janay.
227
00:07:41,011 --> 00:07:42,744
And, uh, things have gotten
a little weird,
228
00:07:42,746 --> 00:07:43,979
'cause she asked me
where I thought
229
00:07:43,981 --> 00:07:45,447
the relationship was going.
230
00:07:45,449 --> 00:07:47,082
- And what did you say?
231
00:07:47,084 --> 00:07:49,050
- That I feel like it's fine
the way it is.
232
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:52,020
But now she's not answering
my calls, or my texts,
233
00:07:52,022 --> 00:07:54,356
so I think I need
to go smooth that out.
234
00:07:54,358 --> 00:07:57,893
- Kenan, you know I love you,
but you're not a bright man.
235
00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,794
She wants to move forward.
236
00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:01,463
She don't want to waste
the pretty on you.
237
00:08:01,465 --> 00:08:02,797
- Yeah, but things
are going good.
238
00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:05,600
I mean, I don't want to ruin it
by introducing her to my family
239
00:08:05,602 --> 00:08:07,235
and bringing her
in this house of crazy.
240
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:10,005
- But kenan, your family
is a big part of who you are.
241
00:08:10,007 --> 00:08:11,239
Look, if you're telling her
242
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,474
that you're not gonna
move forward,
243
00:08:12,476 --> 00:08:14,042
she's gonna pull back.
244
00:08:14,044 --> 00:08:16,178
- Nah, girl,
she is all about zaddy.
245
00:08:16,180 --> 00:08:17,612
Let me show you.
246
00:08:17,614 --> 00:08:20,715
- Aw, these are cute.
So cute.
247
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:22,083
Piggy-back? Okay.
248
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,885
Yes.
249
00:08:23,887 --> 00:08:26,321
Oh. Except for this one
she just posted
250
00:08:26,323 --> 00:08:27,489
where she's with another dude.
251
00:08:27,491 --> 00:08:28,723
- What?
No.
252
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:31,493
This is a picture of her alone
at a coffee shop right now.
253
00:08:31,495 --> 00:08:33,762
- Is she though?
254
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:38,133
Look, I think
you should go talk to her.
255
00:08:38,135 --> 00:08:40,869
And besides, your family's
not that crazy.
256
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,773
- Little help?
257
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,041
- You were saying?
258
00:08:46,043 --> 00:08:48,143
- I should probably go inside.
- Yeah.
259
00:08:48,145 --> 00:08:49,144
- Okay.
260
00:08:49,146 --> 00:08:52,147
- Th--this is why I say
no balls in the h--
261
00:08:52,149 --> 00:08:53,682
you know what?
262
00:08:53,684 --> 00:08:54,883
It's just my life.
- Birdie?
263
00:08:58,454 --> 00:08:59,921
- Then I try not to eat
till noon.
264
00:08:59,923 --> 00:09:01,156
- Yeah, mm.
- Intermittent fasting.
265
00:09:01,158 --> 00:09:02,857
- Kenan?
266
00:09:02,859 --> 00:09:04,359
- Oh, snap.
267
00:09:04,361 --> 00:09:06,294
Janay!
What're you doing out here?
268
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,330
Besides having coffee
with goofy dudes.
269
00:09:11,001 --> 00:09:13,468
- What's up?
I'm trevor.
270
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,003
- 'sup, trevor?
What you standing up
271
00:09:15,005 --> 00:09:16,304
to your natural height for?
272
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:17,472
That supposed to mean
something to me?
273
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:18,940
'cause it really doesn't, brah.
274
00:09:18,942 --> 00:09:21,876
- Will you just, uh,
excuse us for one second?
275
00:09:21,878 --> 00:09:23,411
- 'scuse us, trevor.
276
00:09:23,413 --> 00:09:25,614
- What are you doing?
- What?
277
00:09:25,616 --> 00:09:27,816
I'm ready to risk my life
for this relationship.
278
00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:30,318
- Ohh, so now
it's a relationship
279
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,354
and not just a "thang."
280
00:09:32,356 --> 00:09:34,022
who called it a "thang"?
Was that me?
281
00:09:34,024 --> 00:09:35,957
- Kenan!
- Okay, yes.
282
00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:39,361
This is a real,
going-somewhere relationship.
283
00:09:40,731 --> 00:09:42,664
- So you'll include me
in your whole life?
284
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:43,865
- Yes.
285
00:09:43,867 --> 00:09:45,834
We can have family dinner
this weekend.
286
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:49,371
And I'll tell everybody
that you're my girlfriend.
287
00:09:49,373 --> 00:09:50,605
- That sounds sweet.
288
00:09:50,607 --> 00:09:52,974
- Yeah, starting
with this dude right here.
289
00:09:52,976 --> 00:09:55,043
Hey, groot, this is my lady.
290
00:09:55,045 --> 00:09:56,478
It's nice for you to meet her,
291
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,480
but you can go home now, punk!
292
00:09:58,482 --> 00:10:00,282
I'm just kidding, just kidding.
293
00:10:00,284 --> 00:10:01,816
Can I grab her stuff? Thanks.
294
00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:02,851
- So nice to meet you.
295
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,486
- All right, we'll see you
at the gym, trevor.
296
00:10:04,488 --> 00:10:07,722
[phone rings]
297
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,558
- hey.
- Yo, pam,
298
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:11,693
where the hell are you?
299
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:13,261
Everyone's already
in the meeting.
300
00:10:13,263 --> 00:10:14,729
- Waze gave me
a 20-minute route,
301
00:10:14,731 --> 00:10:16,498
but I knew of a back road
that would get me here
302
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:17,699
in 15 minutes flat.
303
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,367
- You're 40 minutes late, pam.
304
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:22,070
- Yeah, well,
waze won this round.
305
00:10:22,072 --> 00:10:23,771
- Okay, well, I can't
keep stalling, all right?
306
00:10:23,773 --> 00:10:26,441
Oh, oh I see you.
There you are.
307
00:10:26,443 --> 00:10:30,078
- Oh, I found a primo spot.
Whoo.
308
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,747
Oh, now this joker's gonna
try to steal it!
309
00:10:32,749 --> 00:10:33,948
- Who cares?
Just park anywhere.
310
00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:34,816
There's plenty of space.
311
00:10:34,818 --> 00:10:37,385
- No! Everybody knows
that the space
312
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:40,021
next to the disabled spot
is the best.
313
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,692
Game time. I gotta win this.
314
00:10:43,694 --> 00:10:45,226
- This isn't a competition.
315
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,062
Georgia tech is waiting, pam.
316
00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:50,231
[engin rev]
317
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,967
- that spot is mine!
318
00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:57,105
- Oh.
319
00:10:57,107 --> 00:10:58,840
- [sighs]
it was a tie.
320
00:10:58,842 --> 00:11:01,876
I hate ties.
321
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:04,112
Aw man, why don't
you look where you're going?
322
00:11:04,114 --> 00:11:06,014
Do you see what you did
to my car?
323
00:11:06,016 --> 00:11:07,515
- Oh, she crazy, crazy.
324
00:11:07,517 --> 00:11:09,284
- Come on, face me!
325
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:12,053
- You are gonna
love this recipe.
326
00:11:12,055 --> 00:11:14,289
I call it "hot girl guac."
327
00:11:14,291 --> 00:11:15,924
my secret
is half a ghost pepper
328
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:17,425
and a bunch of garlic.
329
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:18,927
- Sounds like tonight
will be the first night
330
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:21,129
we fart in front of each other.
Both: [chuckle]
331
00:11:21,131 --> 00:11:23,131
- look at us, moving forward.
332
00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:26,000
- Oh, hey,or our
big family dinner this weekend,
333
00:11:26,002 --> 00:11:27,502
what do the girls eat?
334
00:11:27,504 --> 00:11:29,270
I really want
everything to be perfect.
335
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,373
- Oh, well,
aubrey hates everything,
336
00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:33,074
and birdie will eat
pretty much anything.
337
00:11:33,076 --> 00:11:35,043
So why don't we go with steak,
338
00:11:35,045 --> 00:11:36,244
'cause that's what zaddy wants.
339
00:11:36,246 --> 00:11:39,514
[phone buzzes]
oh, snap.
340
00:11:39,516 --> 00:11:42,150
I'm sorry, hold on one second.
- Okay.
341
00:11:42,152 --> 00:11:44,319
- Yeah, what?
342
00:11:44,321 --> 00:11:46,421
- Kenan, I'm dropping pam
as a client, man.
343
00:11:46,423 --> 00:11:48,456
So if I go missing,
go to your computer,
344
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:49,858
and find a folder
called "church."
345
00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:51,493
delete that.
It's full of porn.
346
00:11:51,495 --> 00:11:53,461
- Is that
why my computer's so slow?
347
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:54,829
- That and another folder
called "prayer."
348
00:11:54,831 --> 00:11:55,830
- get back to pam.
349
00:11:55,832 --> 00:11:57,698
You just signed her, man.
You can't drop her.
350
00:11:57,700 --> 00:12:00,034
- But she's out of control,
man, for real.
351
00:12:00,036 --> 00:12:01,636
It's like everything's
a competition with her.
352
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:02,971
Like she's still
on the tennis tour.
353
00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:04,139
I should have known
when she dunked
354
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:06,558
on that make a wish kid
standing by that trash can.
355
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,909
- Maybe that was his wish.
356
00:12:07,911 --> 00:12:09,878
We don't know what he was into.
[phone rings]
357
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,346
sorry, hold on a second.
358
00:12:11,348 --> 00:12:13,081
What's up?
359
00:12:13,083 --> 00:12:14,149
- I got kicked
out of blind wally's.
360
00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:15,250
You gotta come pick me up.
361
00:12:15,252 --> 00:12:18,153
- No, man, just take a lyft
or uber or something.
362
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,921
- I'm banned from one
and protesting the other.
363
00:12:19,923 --> 00:12:22,157
And don't ask me which one,
'cause I can't remember.
364
00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:23,658
- Everything okay, babe?
365
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:27,061
- Uh, yeah, everything is fine.
Nothing crazy here.
366
00:12:27,063 --> 00:12:29,531
Look, man, I'm busy, all right?
You're just gonna have to walk.
367
00:12:29,533 --> 00:12:30,698
- Well, ladies,
I guess we're hoofing it.
368
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:31,766
- What?
369
00:12:31,768 --> 00:12:33,201
- There's no sidewalks
on this highway.
370
00:12:33,203 --> 00:12:34,736
- Bad rick.
- Hi daddy,
371
00:12:34,738 --> 00:12:36,404
a woman named katie
asked me to be her sponsor.
372
00:12:36,406 --> 00:12:39,474
- You took my babies
to a jazz club?
373
00:12:39,476 --> 00:12:40,909
- The child is learning
the trumpet.
374
00:12:40,911 --> 00:12:42,744
I'm trying to be encouraging.
375
00:12:42,746 --> 00:12:45,380
- All right, look, don't move.
Okay? I'm on my way.
376
00:12:45,382 --> 00:12:47,048
Snap, gary.
377
00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:48,216
Gary?
- Hmm?
378
00:12:48,218 --> 00:12:51,219
- Okay, look, you always wanted
a legit business, right?
379
00:12:51,221 --> 00:12:53,555
And now you have one.
With swag!
380
00:12:53,557 --> 00:12:55,390
And two clients
that you care about, all right?
381
00:12:55,392 --> 00:12:57,025
You wouldn't cut and run
on your brother,
382
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,059
so you can't do that
to your friend either.
383
00:12:58,061 --> 00:12:59,360
- Yeah.
384
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,862
Yeah, you right, man. Thanks.
385
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:02,230
Well--and don't delete
that folder, 'cause--
386
00:13:02,232 --> 00:13:04,065
[phone beeps]
hello?
387
00:13:05,435 --> 00:13:06,701
- Hey.
388
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:07,786
- Sounds like you got
a lot going on.
389
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:10,104
- Just some work
and family nonsense.
390
00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:13,107
Which reminds me,
I'm so sorry, but I forgot
391
00:13:13,109 --> 00:13:15,143
we're going out of town
this weekend.
392
00:13:15,145 --> 00:13:17,245
I gotta get a raincheck
on that family dinner.
393
00:13:17,247 --> 00:13:20,582
- Oh, no!
394
00:13:20,584 --> 00:13:22,884
Okay, sure, raincheck.
But only 'cause you're cute.
395
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,719
- I am cute, ain't I?
- You are. You're cute.
396
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,021
- Thank you, you're the best.
- You're cute.
397
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:29,557
- [sighs]
in fact,
398
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:30,959
I forgot that I actually
gotta go handle
399
00:13:30,961 --> 00:13:32,527
something for work
right now as well,
400
00:13:32,529 --> 00:13:34,729
so you enjoy
that "hot girl guac,"
401
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:38,466
and I will be back
in, like, 10 or 55 minutes.
402
00:13:38,468 --> 00:13:41,736
[upbeat music]
403
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,239
- I'm sorry
about that georgia tech gig.
404
00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:45,740
That was on me.
405
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:48,142
I feel like
I don't deserve a party.
406
00:13:48,144 --> 00:13:49,477
Come on now, pam.
407
00:13:49,479 --> 00:13:51,279
I gotta welcome you
to we-bad-a.F.
408
00:13:51,281 --> 00:13:52,981
The right way.
- Thanks, gary.
409
00:13:52,983 --> 00:13:55,183
You are an amazing--
410
00:13:55,185 --> 00:13:57,585
what the [bleep] is this?
411
00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,088
This isn't a party.
Where's the cake?
412
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:03,091
And what is my butt-turd
ex-manager doing here?
413
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:04,926
- We're all here to tell you
how your competitive behavior
414
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,228
has hurt us
in the following ways.
415
00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:09,731
- This is a damn intervention!
416
00:14:09,733 --> 00:14:12,166
- A damn intervention party.
Surprise.
417
00:14:12,168 --> 00:14:13,635
- I'm out.
418
00:14:13,637 --> 00:14:15,470
- No you're not.
419
00:14:15,472 --> 00:14:18,473
- Whoa. John mcenroe!
420
00:14:18,475 --> 00:14:20,174
- Big fan, I'm sure.
421
00:14:20,176 --> 00:14:22,310
Now sit your ass down
and let your friends
422
00:14:22,312 --> 00:14:24,579
change your life
for the better.
423
00:14:24,581 --> 00:14:26,247
- Oh.
- You better sit your ass down.
424
00:14:26,249 --> 00:14:28,116
- Oh, he good.
425
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,986
- All right, we all know
the game plan?
426
00:14:31,988 --> 00:14:34,722
We're here to get an outfit
for aubrey's trumpet recital.
427
00:14:34,724 --> 00:14:36,524
And if your name isn't aubrey,
428
00:14:36,526 --> 00:14:37,625
please don't ask me
for anything.
429
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,260
- But I want a razor scooter.
430
00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:42,330
- Oh, and it reminds me,
I want a subscription to starz.
431
00:14:42,332 --> 00:14:45,633
They got a new program on there
called "p-valley."
432
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,335
- you know what
the p stands for?
433
00:14:47,337 --> 00:14:49,170
- I have a good idea.
But--
434
00:14:50,707 --> 00:14:52,774
- let's go this way.
- But the store's right there.
435
00:14:52,776 --> 00:14:54,108
- I know,
but the razor scooter store
436
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:55,009
is that way.
437
00:14:55,011 --> 00:14:57,178
- Oh! Does this mean
I'm getting starz?
438
00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:58,513
- Maybe.
- You rascal.
439
00:14:58,515 --> 00:14:59,514
- I know,
I'm a little rascal, right?
440
00:14:59,516 --> 00:15:01,282
- Kenan?
441
00:15:01,284 --> 00:15:04,352
Kenan!
Kenan!
442
00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:07,956
- Uh, hi.
Uh, can I help you?
443
00:15:07,958 --> 00:15:10,158
- [laughs]
quit playing.
444
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,126
I thought you were going
out of town this weekend.
445
00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:14,562
- Uh, daddy, do you know
this lady?
446
00:15:14,564 --> 00:15:16,164
- No, I don't.
447
00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:18,566
But I think she might
recognize me from tv.
448
00:15:18,568 --> 00:15:19,867
Is that what it is?
449
00:15:19,869 --> 00:15:21,603
Well, thank you very much
for watching, ma'am.
450
00:15:21,605 --> 00:15:22,837
So, uh, why don't we let
this stranger,
451
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,372
who none of us
have ever met before,
452
00:15:24,374 --> 00:15:25,573
get back to her job.
453
00:15:25,575 --> 00:15:26,641
Thank you for your service,
ma'am.
454
00:15:26,643 --> 00:15:28,643
Come on.
- [whispers] oh, hell no.
455
00:15:28,645 --> 00:15:30,144
- Who was that?
- I don't know.
456
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,313
- Come on, I know
a pissed off mistress
457
00:15:32,315 --> 00:15:33,548
when I see one.
458
00:15:33,550 --> 00:15:34,949
- I know.
She's not my mistress though.
459
00:15:34,951 --> 00:15:36,684
She's my secret girlfriend.
460
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,687
Okay, now I hear it.
- Mm-hmm.
461
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:40,989
I don't even think
she that mad.
462
00:15:43,893 --> 00:15:45,326
- Daang.
463
00:15:45,328 --> 00:15:47,228
She gave you the boot.
464
00:15:47,230 --> 00:15:48,830
Tch.
465
00:15:48,832 --> 00:15:51,633
- I don't need you
to be clever right now, rick.
466
00:15:53,636 --> 00:15:55,470
- When you and I were playing
at the company picnic,
467
00:15:56,272 --> 00:15:56,971
you nicknamed me rally killer.
468
00:15:57,891 --> 00:15:59,641
- 'cause you suck, phil.
You kill rallies.
469
00:15:59,743 --> 00:16:00,775
- Well, it stuck.
470
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,977
My ex-wife called me that
in bed.
471
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,313
"rally killer strikes again."
472
00:16:05,415 --> 00:16:07,482
[laughter]
473
00:16:07,617 --> 00:16:09,217
listen, sex is hard.
474
00:16:09,319 --> 00:16:12,286
- All right, buddy.
My turn.
475
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:13,521
[clears throat]
476
00:16:13,623 --> 00:16:16,024
pam would be a model employee
477
00:16:16,126 --> 00:16:18,760
if she didn't let
her overly competitive nature
478
00:16:18,861 --> 00:16:20,828
get in the way
of her job performance.
479
00:16:20,964 --> 00:16:22,697
- Is that my evaluation?
- Yes it is.
480
00:16:22,799 --> 00:16:23,798
I told you I'd get you back.
481
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:24,666
- Come on.
This is not the time--
482
00:16:24,801 --> 00:16:26,200
- stop it!
483
00:16:26,302 --> 00:16:28,703
This is getting real janky,
right now.
484
00:16:28,805 --> 00:16:30,538
John mcenroe, please tell pam
485
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,241
how this type of behavior
has affected your life.
486
00:16:33,343 --> 00:16:34,776
- Pam, I get it.
487
00:16:34,878 --> 00:16:36,844
No one is
more competitive than me.
488
00:16:36,946 --> 00:16:38,713
- You want to bet?
- Don't interrupt me.
489
00:16:38,815 --> 00:16:40,048
- Okay.
490
00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:42,884
- Having dominated
every tennis tournament,
491
00:16:42,986 --> 00:16:44,719
commentated
with every major network,
492
00:16:44,821 --> 00:16:49,357
being put in the international
tennis hall of fame--
493
00:16:49,492 --> 00:16:54,746
you know, I only see
an upside in this behavior.
494
00:16:54,864 --> 00:16:56,497
Why am I here?
- I'm starting to wonder
495
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,099
the same thing, johnathan.
496
00:16:58,201 --> 00:17:00,918
- You're starting to wonder?!
[objects clatter]
497
00:17:01,037 --> 00:17:04,238
fine! I don't want to be here!
498
00:17:04,340 --> 00:17:06,874
Pam, you be you.
499
00:17:06,976 --> 00:17:09,343
- Wha--
500
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:11,079
- he's still got it.
501
00:17:11,181 --> 00:17:12,814
- Okay, that was dope,
but pam, for real,
502
00:17:12,916 --> 00:17:13,748
you're gonna tell me
that parking space
503
00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,783
was worth your dream job?
504
00:17:15,885 --> 00:17:18,920
- I don't know.
I just can't be a loser.
505
00:17:19,022 --> 00:17:20,588
Growing up in a house
full of brothers,
506
00:17:20,690 --> 00:17:22,223
you had to compete
for everything--
507
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:25,226
desserts, toilet paper,
medicine--
508
00:17:25,328 --> 00:17:26,978
- was that you eating
all my antacid pills?
509
00:17:27,096 --> 00:17:28,146
My chest hurts!
510
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:30,865
- Hmm?
- Pam, not being a loser
511
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,601
doesn't mean you always win.
Okay?
512
00:17:33,703 --> 00:17:34,836
You lost your dream job,
513
00:17:34,938 --> 00:17:37,805
and you smashed up
your damn car.
514
00:17:37,907 --> 00:17:40,441
Look, all I know is
you gotta make a change.
515
00:17:40,543 --> 00:17:42,910
And as your friend,
and your manager,
516
00:17:43,012 --> 00:17:45,246
you gotta let me help you, man.
517
00:17:47,784 --> 00:17:49,383
- Thanks, gary.
518
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:51,452
You know, you are
a great manager.
519
00:17:51,554 --> 00:17:53,888
- Thank you very much.
- Better than the last one.
520
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,289
You hear that, butt-turd?
521
00:17:55,391 --> 00:17:58,860
- My name is buttard!
And you know that.
522
00:17:59,629 --> 00:18:01,979
- That guy is such a phil!
- Such a phil.
523
00:18:02,098 --> 00:18:04,065
- Such a phil!
- He's a double phil.
524
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,867
- He didn't flip a chair
or nothing.
525
00:18:05,969 --> 00:18:12,273
- Alexa, play "kenan's sad jams
for no chance at love-making."
526
00:18:12,375 --> 00:18:16,310
- playing "kenan's sad jams
for no chance of love-making."
527
00:18:16,412 --> 00:18:18,146
- alexa, will you be
my girlfriend?
528
00:18:18,248 --> 00:18:20,648
- I like you as a friend.
529
00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:21,983
- Snap, that's cold.
530
00:18:22,085 --> 00:18:24,919
- I don't like
what I'm hearing over here.
531
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,454
What's happened?
532
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:27,989
- It's just janay stuff.
533
00:18:28,091 --> 00:18:29,657
Mika was right, I think I need
534
00:18:29,759 --> 00:18:31,225
to bring her into my whole life
535
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,960
and introduce her
to the family.
536
00:18:33,062 --> 00:18:34,495
That's the only way
I'm gonna keep her.
537
00:18:34,597 --> 00:18:37,031
But I'm just worried
it's gonna scare her away.
538
00:18:37,133 --> 00:18:39,967
- Well, look, man,
the only thing I know is
539
00:18:40,103 --> 00:18:41,435
you can't have
a whole separate life
540
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:43,938
that doesn't include
your partner.
541
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,808
- That's some good advice,
rick.
542
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,075
- Yeah.
543
00:18:48,178 --> 00:18:50,178
I got that
from a blind wally song,
544
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,146
called "you can't have
a whole separate life
545
00:18:52,248 --> 00:18:53,848
that doesn't include
your partner."
546
00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:56,217
- you had me at blind wally.
547
00:18:57,487 --> 00:18:59,987
- Hey, daddy,
like my sign?
548
00:19:00,089 --> 00:19:02,657
- Yes, baby, it's beautiful.
549
00:19:02,792 --> 00:19:04,826
Why am I paying $15,000 a year
for that school?
550
00:19:04,928 --> 00:19:07,695
- Hey, rich kids are dumb too.
[pounding on door]
551
00:19:07,797 --> 00:19:09,664
- places everybody.
Come here.
552
00:19:09,799 --> 00:19:11,132
Don't forget, yell surprise,
553
00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:13,267
and then curtsy like
the little von trapp kids did
554
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:16,220
when they met
fraulein von nazi racist face.
555
00:19:16,339 --> 00:19:19,390
Get ready.
One, two, three.
556
00:19:19,509 --> 00:19:23,711
All: Surprise!
- Surprise!
557
00:19:23,813 --> 00:19:26,647
- Oh, god.
They found me.
558
00:19:28,051 --> 00:19:29,901
- Look, officer,
this is my girlfriend's place.
559
00:19:30,019 --> 00:19:31,686
I just used the hide-away key.
560
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,688
- Girls, do you know
the woman that lives here?
561
00:19:33,823 --> 00:19:35,356
- Nope.
- Didn't know she existed
562
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:36,524
till today.
563
00:19:36,659 --> 00:19:37,725
- I'm gonna need you
to stand up, sir.
564
00:19:37,827 --> 00:19:40,294
- Oh, man, this is ridiculous.
565
00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:43,598
- What in the hell?
566
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:45,099
Lawrence, what is happening
right now?
567
00:19:45,201 --> 00:19:46,567
- Janay, we received
a call from a neighbor
568
00:19:46,669 --> 00:19:49,237
about an intrusion.
- Janay, would you please tell
569
00:19:49,339 --> 00:19:51,038
this officer of the law
that you know me
570
00:19:51,174 --> 00:19:52,540
and we have a "thang."
571
00:19:52,642 --> 00:19:55,543
- oh, did we have a "thing,"
or a "thang."
572
00:19:55,645 --> 00:19:56,911
- you gonna let them
take my babies
573
00:19:57,013 --> 00:19:58,479
just because you mad?
That's cold.
574
00:19:58,581 --> 00:20:00,948
- What are you doing here,
kenan?
575
00:20:01,050 --> 00:20:03,718
- Can--let's just have
a little talk.
576
00:20:03,820 --> 00:20:05,353
- [sighs]
- I'm sorry.
577
00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:07,588
I thought that if I brought
my family over here
578
00:20:07,690 --> 00:20:08,522
to surprise you,
579
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:10,725
then you would forgive me
for being stupid.
580
00:20:10,860 --> 00:20:11,993
I didn't count on the cops
581
00:20:12,095 --> 00:20:14,262
or rick's
past criminal history.
582
00:20:14,364 --> 00:20:17,365
- Ah, ah, alleged
criminal history.
583
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,333
- You really thought
this would make up
584
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:21,269
for the way you treated me?
585
00:20:21,371 --> 00:20:22,770
- I thought
it would be a start.
586
00:20:22,872 --> 00:20:25,640
Look, janay, I'm really sorry.
I just freaked.
587
00:20:25,742 --> 00:20:27,208
- Why?
588
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,443
- Because my life
is so crazy.
589
00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:31,445
I thought
it would scare you off.
590
00:20:31,547 --> 00:20:33,414
I mean, look at you.
You're so pretty,
591
00:20:33,516 --> 00:20:36,117
and smart, and put-together.
592
00:20:36,219 --> 00:20:38,052
I got puked on
three times last week.
593
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:40,054
- Gross.
594
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:41,255
I get it.
595
00:20:41,357 --> 00:20:43,257
You're a father and a brother
596
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:46,694
and a...Whatever you are
to rick.
597
00:20:46,796 --> 00:20:49,297
But I didn't want
some curated version of you.
598
00:20:49,399 --> 00:20:51,332
I wanted the real you.
599
00:20:51,434 --> 00:20:53,234
The good, the bad, and the--
600
00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:54,702
- oh, I know you're not
about to say "ugly."
601
00:20:54,804 --> 00:20:56,971
'cause I might be stupid,
but I'm cute.
602
00:20:57,073 --> 00:21:00,675
- I was gonna say "human."
603
00:21:00,777 --> 00:21:03,210
- so...You still want me?
604
00:21:03,313 --> 00:21:06,314
- Plant one on me,
right here.
605
00:21:06,416 --> 00:21:07,815
Now introduce me
to your crazy family.
606
00:21:07,917 --> 00:21:10,151
- Okay, all right.
Well, that's my baby birdie,
607
00:21:10,253 --> 00:21:12,286
and that's aubrey, and that's--
608
00:21:12,422 --> 00:21:13,754
- girl, don't act
like you don't know me.
609
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,189
- Get your feet
off my coffee table.
610
00:21:15,291 --> 00:21:16,457
- Oh, I will.
611
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:17,658
I will.
- Now.