1
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,762
[bombs squealing]
2
00:00:12,887 --> 00:00:15,056
[Drea] It was the night
the first bombs were dropped,
3
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,851
and the Blitzkrieg had officially begun.
4
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,310
- [bombs exploding]
- Jo!
5
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:20,602
Jojo.
6
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,272
Dude, just tell me.
7
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,375
Did you plan this book shit
around our family vacation,
8
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,335
or did we plan our family vacation
around your book shit?
9
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,528
I swear to God,
keep calling it my book shit
10
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:30,280
and see what you
fucking do to me.
11
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,949
Dude, I don't even know
who you are anymore, dude.
12
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,451
This is so fucked up!
13
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:37,203
Why and how is this fucked up, Kenya?
14
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,806
- Are you being serious right now?
- Yes!
15
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:39,831
How is it fucked up?
16
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:42,375
You, out of anybody in the world,
should understand
17
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:44,627
how working and vacationing
at the same time
18
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,838
is a good thing, right?
You should understand that.
19
00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:48,298
Oh, my God! [scoffs]
20
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:49,299
- Oh, okay.
- Okay.
21
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,259
Okay. Okay.
22
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,764
Any time we go away, he's working.
23
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:58,475
Summer trip to Botswana?
Coming to America premiere.
24
00:00:58,558 --> 00:00:59,476
South of France?
25
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,644
Two-day panel
on American story structure.
26
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,688
I never 100 percent confirmed this,
27
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,940
but I'm pretty sure
this one time we went to Maui,
28
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:10,070
and he taught an all-day master class
on how to work on vacation.
29
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:12,947
I wasn't working on vacation.
30
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:16,159
I was working
and we got a vacation out of it.
31
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:17,242
What was she gonna do?
32
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:19,013
Sneak out of our room
in the middle of the day
33
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,765
then sneak back
like some kind of psychopath?
34
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,208
Pretend she was getting
like a 90-minute shiatsu?
35
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,418
Some kind of fucked up
paddle board lesson?
36
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,879
All she had to do was say something.
37
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:29,631
I'm a reasonable guy.
38
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,258
A reasonable guy?
39
00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:33,635
[laughing]
40
00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:35,929
That came out of his mouth?
41
00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,639
Wait, you can't be serious.
42
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:38,807
Did he say that?
43
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:42,060
Did he actually say that?
Can somebody please get me the tape?
44
00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:45,271
I'm serious, I'll wait.
I want to see it, go get it.
45
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,818
As my parents' fighting raged on,
46
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:52,237
my sister and I were locked in more of...
47
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,447
let's say, a cold war.
48
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,951
- [Chloe giggling]
- [Marquise shushing]
49
00:01:58,660 --> 00:01:59,660
[Chloe] Come on.
50
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,796
Nope! Mm-mm. Not gonna happen.
51
00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:10,879
Please get out.
52
00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:13,049
[Marquise] My bad, Drea player.
53
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,717
[Chloe giggling]
54
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,762
[Drea] Meanwhile, Izzy and the boys
were on a secret mission
55
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,222
behind enemy lines.
56
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:20,745
All right, guys.
We're gonna do this.
57
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,810
No, you cannot go out there.
There was just a tropical storm.
58
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,687
You're gonna get pulomia.
59
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,523
Wait, wait, wait, you mean pneumonia?
60
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:29,941
No, pulomia.
61
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,129
Wait, so you know what it is,
but you don't know how to pronounce it?
62
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,404
Well, I looked it up.
63
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,447
I wanted to know
how Jim Henson went out.
64
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,492
Okay, weirdo. Let's go, dude. [chuckles]
65
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,035
Stop, wait! We can't just
66
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,079
steal the car, can we?
67
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:45,248
God, you're a nerd.
68
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,226
- Why is he like this?
- [gasps incredulously]
69
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,043
I think Mom breastfed him too long.
70
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:51,296
[scoffs] You guys sound stupid.
71
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,506
You can't be breastfed for too long.
72
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,966
When did he stop?
73
00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:57,260
I guess he would have been, like, five.
74
00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:58,886
[Drea] Five?
75
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:02,432
You fed my brother milk from your bosom
until he was five years old?
76
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,350
In emerging countries,
77
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,978
it is considered normal
to drink breast milk
78
00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:08,605
well into your teens.
79
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:12,233
In emerging countries, they also think
albino body parts have special powers.
80
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,776
That is not the same thing.
81
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,987
Mom, he has severe dairy issues.
82
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,947
You have severe dairy issues!
83
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,365
Don't come for me.
84
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,575
- You don't know.
- Okay.
85
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:22,118
He's very smart.
86
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,411
I think that's why.
87
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,080
- Okay, let's go, guys.
- Yeah.
88
00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,207
[Pops] Guys, stop!
89
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,209
- [Izzy] Wimp!
- [Pops] God.
90
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,587
- Quiet!
- We're gonna go without you!
91
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:33,755
Quiet.
92
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,048
[Kam] Go, go, go!
93
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,051
- [Pops] Slow down!
- [Danny] Guys!
94
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,221
Chloe! Marquise!
95
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:42,930
Guys!
96
00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:44,432
Shit! Shit!
97
00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:47,310
[yelling] Has anyone seen
a young, beautiful couple?
98
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,854
My boss is gonna shit down my throat!
99
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:52,190
♪ You either with me or against me, ho ♪
100
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:53,399
♪ Ho ♪
101
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,318
♪ You either with me or ♪
102
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:56,236
♪ Wait ♪
103
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,321
♪ Win, win, win, win, win ♪
104
00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,280
♪ Yeah ♪
105
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,325
♪ Fuck everything else
Win, win, win, win ♪
106
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,202
♪ Win, yeah ♪
107
00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:05,536
[door opening]
108
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:06,871
[birds chirping]
109
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:12,585
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
What are you, Jimi Hendrix?
110
00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,966
[curtain rattling]
111
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,550
- [snoring]
- [Kenya sighs]
112
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:20,843
All right.
113
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,054
All right, babe.
114
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:24,889
I... I'm...
115
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,058
I'm... I'mma go.
116
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,141
[Joya] Huh?
117
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:30,311
I'm... I'm gonna head out.
118
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,898
I know you got a pretty busy day of work
119
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,900
ahead of you, so...
120
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,235
- I won't...
- Okay, bye.
121
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:40,405
You know,
unless you want to talk about something.
122
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,908
Pretty much anything's
on the table. Maybe...
123
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:45,994
apologize about some stuff.
124
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,454
You can choose whatever it is
you may want to...
125
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:50,163
[Joya] I'm good.
126
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:52,875
Cool, cool.
127
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:54,835
All right, then.
128
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,003
Peace.
129
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,675
[muttering] This fucking asshole,
I swear to God.
130
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:02,260
[door slams]
131
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,808
Morning. Hey!
132
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:10,643
Mmm. Omelette bar, huh?
133
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,771
Dope choice.
Eggs for breakfast? That's classic.
134
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:14,689
[chuckles]
135
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:16,607
Hey, any chance you've seen your sister?
136
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,276
What the fuck is wrong with your face?
137
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:19,402
Oh, this? Uh...
138
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:22,530
Well, your dad didn't let me
get the right sunscreen, so...
139
00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:23,531
It's fine, though.
140
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,743
I've been burnt much worse before,
this is absolutely nothing.
141
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:30,288
I do have a history of...
melanoma in my family, though.
142
00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:34,000
From what I understand, it's one
of the worst cancer deaths. Um...
143
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:36,586
We had to bury my uncle Hecky
in a closed casket.
144
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,463
I mean, he was pussing, like ooze.
145
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:39,630
Enjoy your breakfast.
146
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:43,176
Hi, can I get an omelette
with all Muenster cheese?
147
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,303
Are you going to get more eggs?
I'll follow you.
148
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:48,028
[Chloe] I'm literally dying.
This brunch is about to give me life.
149
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:50,308
For real.
I'm going a couple chia seed puddings,
150
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:51,434
couple crepes.
151
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,561
You think it's crazy if I ask
for an entire fig?
152
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:56,981
- Oh, no.
- Princess Drea! What's the business?
153
00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,275
What's up, Marquise?
154
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,567
So.
155
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:01,860
How was your night?
156
00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:04,530
Um...
157
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,908
One, two, three, war!
158
00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:10,161
Dang, they got some big dicks
on this lil' island.
159
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,997
Fiji Tinder got hella dicks.
160
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,374
Hella dick!
161
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,336
I mean, I did my thing.
162
00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:20,046
Hmm. Okay.
163
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,965
There's a super chill bonfire later
if you want to roll.
164
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,760
- Uh...
- No, babe, I don't think that's her scene.
165
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,390
[scoffs] This bitch
goes to college for a year
166
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,475
and really thinks
she's got it figured out.
167
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,394
She doesn't know what my scene is.
168
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,813
I have so many scenes, okay?
169
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,940
Filmmakers of Tomorrow Club,
170
00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:41,275
French Club, Latin Club,
171
00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:43,403
Environmental Warrior Society,
172
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,406
Social Justice Warrior Society. Okay?
173
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,204
I might need another scene.
174
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,040
I might be down to kick it later.
175
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:57,667
Okay, Drea.
176
00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:00,420
I'm serious. I would like to hang out.
177
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:03,840
Fine.
178
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:06,717
But if you get all judgy and shit
about us drinking, you're gone.
179
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,513
I won't judge you if you don't judge me.
180
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,604
- [coughs]
- You know that's just orange juice, right?
181
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:22,358
Of course I knew
it was just orange juice, Chloe.
182
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,694
I'm just... not a pulp person.
183
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:30,366
[Kam giggling]
184
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,035
[Pops] This isn't so bad.
It's actually kind of fun.
185
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,912
- [Pops] Can I drive?
- [Izzy] No.
186
00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:37,206
- [Pops] Please?
- [Izzy] Ha. No.
187
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,625
[Pops] Wait, where are you going?
188
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,088
Take it in, boys.
This is what freedom tastes like.
189
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,340
Oh, it tastes so good.
190
00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,384
It is delicious.
191
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:52,054
We should probably stick to the parts
of the resort without people.
192
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,556
We might run into somebody.
193
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,641
Okay, seriously, why is he like this?
194
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,059
I don't know.
195
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,270
[woman] Excuse me, young lady?
196
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,373
After you take these little guys
to their stop,
197
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:03,983
would you mind driving my husband and I
to the clubhouse?
198
00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:05,234
Actually...
199
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,528
Actually, we were just heading that way.
200
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:08,696
Yeah, hop in.
201
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,656
What are you doing?
202
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,700
- [whispering] We're gonna get in trouble!
- Stop!
203
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:14,118
All righty.
204
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,661
Let's go.
205
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:23,461
All right, there you go,
Mr. and Mrs. Wesbird,
206
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:25,087
have a great rest of your evening.
207
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,632
Fingers crossed
for Brian's Stanford application.
208
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:28,925
Thank you so much.
209
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:31,635
Whoa.
210
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,180
Not too shabby, fellas. [chuckles]
211
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:37,141
With our cuteness and your motor skills,
212
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:40,269
I feel like
we could easily make, like, millions.
213
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,979
I feel that you're not wrong.
214
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:45,066
And I feel that Fijian juvenile hall
is a nightmare,
215
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:47,568
so I'm guessing maybe
we should get the frick out of here.
216
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,028
I feel like you're a nerd.
217
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,332
[Kenya] I don't need a bag.
No bag, no bag.
218
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:07,004
- Thank you, sir.
- I'll take a couple more, thank you.
219
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:08,589
Vinaka.
220
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,759
[cell phone ringing]
221
00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,011
[Danny on phone] Yo.
222
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,763
- What up, dude?
- Ah, you know.
223
00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:18,566
I'm doing all right. Skin's
a little tender but I'm pushing through.
224
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,394
Actually, um... my legs look like peppers
225
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:24,355
and a couple of my moles
are, uh, really starting to bother me,
226
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:27,108
but I brought along measuring tape,
so I'm keeping track
227
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:29,443
of any drastic changes to size or shape.
228
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:32,446
What the fuck are you talking about, dude?
229
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:35,533
Do you understand what I'm saying?
A whole race of people
230
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,452
that the sun hates. The sun...
231
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,538
is their number one enemy.
232
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,958
The thing that gives this planet life
233
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,836
takes theirs away.
234
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,213
Black people labored in the sun
235
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,090
for free,
236
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:54,051
under harsh conditions, for 400 years
237
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,761
and we still gave you hip-hop
238
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,555
and cornrows.
239
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,433
The ozone gets half an inch thinner,
240
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:03,519
this kid's walking around
on measuring stick and medicated ointment.
241
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:06,480
[stuttering] But I wanted to give you
a quick little update on
242
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,190
Operation Cockblock.
243
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,985
Dude, I told you to stop
calling it that, dude. Seriously.
244
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:12,862
And have you seen Joya?
245
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:15,406
I've been calling her all day,
she's ghosting me.
246
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,116
So petty, man.
247
00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:20,870
God, I wish I had thought of it first.
Now I look thirsty. [groans]
248
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,706
Uh, no, I, uh...
I haven't seen her either, but...
249
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:27,293
I have been keeping tabs
on Marquise all day.
250
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,671
He's teaching Brooklyn how to swim.
251
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,923
[laughing] It's hilarious.
252
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:35,968
What the fuck, you don't just teach
another man's son how to swim.
253
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,178
What kind of shit is that?
254
00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,473
What, is this some kind
of Terrence Howard movie?
255
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,516
- [Drea] Ooh, I love Terrence Howard!
- Yeah, I do too.
256
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,352
Hey, is he okay?
257
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:47,270
I don't know.
258
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,940
I hope so, that's my man.
259
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:52,401
But I don't know.
260
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:56,697
Pasadena niggas are weird as fuck, dude.
261
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,075
Yeah, my boy Ginsburg is from Pasadena.
262
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,411
He's... He's actually not my boy,
he's technically my allergist,
263
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,306
- but we've been hanging out a lot.
- [phone beeps]
264
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,330
Kenya?
265
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,707
Kenya, you there?
266
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,169
[line ringing]
267
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:14,298
- Jo, hey girl, hey! What's up?
- Hey, bula!
268
00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:17,677
Sorry, Kenya won't stop calling me.
269
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:20,930
Hi, this is Joya Barris, Esquire.
270
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,413
Obviously I can't come to the phone
271
00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:24,517
because I'm a lawyer,
wife, mother of six...
272
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,768
Petty as fuck!
273
00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:27,269
So good at it.
274
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:30,606
Whoo! Is there anything better
than just ghosting someone?
275
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,942
Oh, my gosh, are you just
not gonna answer his call?
276
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,068
How do you know he's okay?
277
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:37,113
I don't, but that's a risk
I'm willing to take right now.
278
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,091
I'm just glad
that you're not letting his nonsense
279
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,992
get to your head
because this moment is all about you.
280
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:43,953
You know,
I wish I could say that was the case,
281
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:45,996
but he got in my head, girl.
282
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:48,040
I'm just trying to shake it off, you know?
283
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:50,960
Channel his man-baby energy
and focus it on me.
284
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:53,254
That's right, girl, and the best revenge
285
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:54,964
is counting your paper.
286
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:57,883
Get your paper up
and all of these problems go away.
287
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,594
Ooh. Sorry, I gotta go. I'm up next.
288
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,221
Next for what?
289
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,515
Focusing on me!
290
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,142
- Jo?
- [Joya yelling]
291
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,853
I'm so sorry.
What is... What exactly does that mean?
292
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:11,725
[Izzy] All right, boys.
Let's finish this day strong.
293
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,065
Hold up.
294
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,776
Before we pick up anyone else,
295
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,778
can I just take her
for a quick spin? Please?
296
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,697
[Kam] No can do, kid. Time is money.
297
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,365
Come on. It'll be really fast.
298
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:23,743
- Sorry, dude. We got bills to pay.
- Fine.
299
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:25,703
You leave me no choice.
300
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:29,248
If you guys want to drive,
you're gonna have to drive over me.
301
00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:31,292
God, I like, really, really hate him.
302
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:34,628
Should we just step on the gas
and see what happens?
303
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:36,087
Oh, my God!
304
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,883
- Come on, Pops. Get the hell up.
- [Pops] Make me.
305
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,385
[Pops laughing]
306
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,637
What the hell are you doing?
307
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,431
You weren't built for this, son!
308
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:47,099
I was born for this!
309
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,434
[screams]
310
00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,188
[crashing]
311
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:55,065
- [Izzy] Oh, shit!
- [groans]
312
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,026
That was awesome!
313
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,820
- [Izzy] Are you okay?
- I'm okay. I'm good, I'm good.
314
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,155
Are you, though?
315
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:02,782
Because I kind of feel
316
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,576
like we have to tell Mom and Dad
what you did.
317
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:07,495
You've left us no choice.
318
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,499
[upbeat music playing]
319
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,150
[Drea chuckles]
320
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:41,612
This fire's great.
321
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:47,117
- Got them Duff beers.
- Hey, thank you, babe.
322
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:48,743
Okay.
323
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,663
So, I did some research
324
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,833
and we should make sure to maintain
a one to one water to beer ratio and...
325
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:54,917
[Chloe] Dude, shut up.
326
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,585
Trust me, you're fine.
327
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,504
You know, the only rule you need to know
328
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:00,631
is liquor before beer
and you're in the clear.
329
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:03,008
That's actually not true.
330
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,760
Oh, it's absolutely true.
331
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,096
No, it has less to do
with the order of consumption
332
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:09,765
- and more with the alcohol saturation...
- Okay, I don't care.
333
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:10,975
Okay? Don't ruin this.
334
00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:13,185
- You're being kind of cool for once...
- [Drea] Wait.
335
00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:15,479
You think I'm acting cool?
336
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,481
Yeah, kind of.
337
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,943
Yo, please don't be weird right now,
338
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,487
but my boy Sean
is eyeing the fuck out of you.
339
00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:27,032
Oh, my God, do not be weird.
340
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,659
I said do not be weird.
341
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,202
Dude, he totally is.
342
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,486
And he's actually kinda cute.
You should go talk to him.
343
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:33,538
[scoffs]
344
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,125
You don't think I know
how this game is played? Okay?
345
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,586
If he wants to talk,
he can come over here.
346
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:42,840
"How this game is played"?
What the hell are you talking about?
347
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:45,593
Aren't you supposed to be some enlightened
21st-century
348
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:48,804
president of the Social Justice
Warrior Society super feminist?
349
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,849
I mean, just go over there
and fucking shoot your shot.
350
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,435
[sighing] Really?
351
00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:57,313
I mean, shooters shoot, Dre Dre.
[chuckling] I mean, you know?
352
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:03,819
Yeah! Okay. Maybe I will, Mar-Mar.
353
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,487
Mar-Mar?
354
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,978
You're being real cool tonight, though,
I fuck with that.
355
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:09,032
[Danny] Guys!
356
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:10,700
Chloe!
357
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,661
- Marquise!
- [Marquise] Oh, God.
358
00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:15,414
- [Drea] God damn!
- What?
359
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,333
It's my burn? Don't worry about me.
360
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,294
Tell me about you guys. Chloe, Marquise,
what have you been up to? Huh?
361
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,671
Fill me in on the details, huh?
Don't hold back.
362
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:25,716
Tell me... Tell me everything.
363
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,427
[Kenya] She's ghosting me.
364
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,013
No, I'm not gonna kill her, Broadway.
365
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,766
Make it look like a jet ski accident?
366
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:37,144
I'll be honest, that's not an awful idea,
of all your ideas.
367
00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:39,146
I gotta go, man.
368
00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:40,564
All right.
369
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,360
[sighs deeply]
370
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:48,614
Um, bu... I don't feel like
saying that shit, dude. What's up?
371
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,033
- I need another room, dawg.
- Absolutely.
372
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:52,993
Kenya Barris.
373
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:55,829
B-A-R-R-I-S.
374
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,374
Just to be clear,
375
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:01,961
you want to add an additional room
to the six rooms you already have with us.
376
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:03,711
Yeah, man.
377
00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:05,588
Yeah.
378
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:08,759
Great. I'd like to run your credit card
one more time.
379
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,260
Just put it on my phone.
380
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,179
[phone dings]
381
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:16,474
You party?
382
00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:19,269
No. No, sir.
383
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,229
You party.
384
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,941
Like, what's the...
What's the drug around here?
385
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,818
What can I get that, like...
386
00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:28,570
you know, I can black out
387
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:31,115
but wake up, like,
"What happened?" but be happy?
388
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:34,076
You look like that guy, you know,
where can I get it?
389
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:37,496
What do you have on you right now?
Don't tell me, just surprise me.
390
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:38,998
Me and you.
391
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:40,791
- All right?
- Yes, sir.
392
00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:41,750
All right.
393
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:45,212
Do I think getting a separate room
for the night was overreacting?
394
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:46,796
Absolutely not.
395
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,717
Let your mom sit up all night
wondering and worrying where I am.
396
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,301
She deserves that.
397
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,637
I want her to really, really feel it.
398
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:57,349
Let her really, really understand
what kind of monster she is.
399
00:16:57,766 --> 00:17:00,269
[music playing, crowd cheering]
400
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,689
[Joya] Does it bother me
that he got another room?
401
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:06,567
A third-floor double-twin dog-friendly
402
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:08,485
smoking room next to the ice machine
403
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,613
that has a partially obstructed
fountain view?
404
00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:15,701
[exhales]
405
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,703
It breaks me up inside.
406
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,956
Dude, are you sure this is
the only room left at the fucking resort?
407
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:21,874
[distant yelling]
408
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:25,002
I'm sorry, bula or whatever,
but I'll pay anything.
409
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:27,546
This is
like a human trafficking mid-point.
410
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,132
To be clear,
we had many available rooms.
411
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:33,052
We have ocean fronts, several villas,
the owner's resident.
412
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,178
The thing is,
413
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:37,973
uh, we don't care for Mr. Barris.
He has been most difficult.
414
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,267
Yeah, I booked with an Amex.
415
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:42,810
I mean,
416
00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:47,483
I guess $100 spa credit
and late check-out wouldn't make it worse.
417
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,150
Vinaka.
418
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,697
[mosquito buzzing]
419
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:54,781
Ow!
420
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,283
Ah.
421
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:57,366
Fuck!
422
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,412
[continues buzzing]
423
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:04,166
[strumming "I'm Yours"]
424
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,259
♪ Well, you done done me
And you bet I felt it ♪
425
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:17,012
♪ Tried to be chill
But you're so hot I melted ♪
426
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,490
♪ I fell right through the cracks ♪
427
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:21,767
♪ Hey! Trying to get back ♪
428
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,561
♪ Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest ♪
429
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:25,479
♪ And nothing's... ♪
430
00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:27,606
This dude is bumming me out.
431
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,901
He really is.
It's like he's playing his own funeral.
432
00:18:30,984 --> 00:18:33,195
You guys don't fuck with Jason Mraz?
433
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:36,448
Did you know he came out as bi,
like, 12 to 36 months ago?
434
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,200
I thought it was super courageous.
435
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:41,537
- [Chloe] Okay, maybe we should go.
- I'm down, where are we going?
436
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,997
No, no, come on! The night is still young.
437
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:45,582
Let's get into some shit.
438
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,584
[snorts] Okay, Dr. Drea.
439
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,670
Okay, what do you want to get into, sis?
440
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:52,673
Uh, I don't know, let's, like,
play a game or something.
441
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:54,508
[sighs] And she's back.
442
00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:56,135
Like, a cool game.
443
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,804
Like, um... oh, like a drinking game.
444
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:00,889
You know what's always fun?
445
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:02,474
Spin the bottle.
446
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:05,519
Oh, my God, that is so random.
447
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:08,230
I used to play that game all the time
in junior high.
448
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:10,274
Yo, I used to kill that shit.
449
00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:12,234
You used to kill spin the bottle?
450
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:13,443
Crushed.
451
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,654
That's not really
a kill type of game, dude.
452
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,615
Okay, whatever.
She's probably not even down.
453
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,701
- I'll play!
- Okay, Drea.
454
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:22,578
No, I want to play.
455
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,204
Come on. I'll go first.
456
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:28,457
[spits]
457
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:31,837
Let's do this!
458
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:46,977
Oh, shit, in-betweensies!
459
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,313
So that means...
460
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,356
That means you have to kiss them both.
461
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,486
Kiss them both!
462
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:57,905
[chanting] Kiss them both!
463
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,531
[all] Kiss them both!
464
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:00,866
Kiss them both!
465
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,242
Kiss them both!
466
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:05,037
- Kiss them both! Kiss them both!
- Stop! What are you doing?
467
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:09,041
Kiss them both! Kiss them both!
Kiss them both!
468
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,251
[Chloe] Dude, you frigging killed it.
469
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:12,794
Two kisses in one spin?
470
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:16,048
A guy and a girl. I mean,
I don't think I've ever seen that before.
471
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,008
So, who did you like more?
472
00:20:18,091 --> 00:20:19,861
'Cause it seemed like
you had more passion with the girl...
473
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,428
Shut up. Just shut up.
474
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:24,014
Dude, what the hell
is the matter with you?
475
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:25,515
You should be so hype right now.
476
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,060
That was my first kiss, you idiot.
477
00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:30,143
Yeah, and then you had your second one
right after.
478
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,647
I mean, that was fucking cool.
479
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,358
You're supposed to be my big sister.
480
00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:36,109
You're supposed to protect me.
481
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:37,694
From what, having a good time?
482
00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:38,612
No.
483
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:42,241
From making stupid, embarrassing decisions
that will ruin my whole life.
484
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,451
Hey, dude, it was just a kiss.
485
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:48,288
It's not just about the kiss.
It's everything.
486
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,874
Okay? It's the champagne on the plane.
487
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,918
You kicking me out of our room.
488
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:56,588
You saying that you had to babysit me,
making fun of my virginity...
489
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,007
Okay. Would it be easier
if you just emailed me
490
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,051
all the things you hate about me? Or...
491
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:03,636
You know what?
492
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,931
I don't have to make you a list.
493
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,100
Let me make it really simple for you.
494
00:21:08,892 --> 00:21:11,937
I'm tired of waiting for you
to care about me.
495
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:16,566
You're not the big sister I wanted
and I guess I just have to get over it.
496
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,610
And you're not the little sister I wanted.
497
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,654
Your needy-ass always begging
to hang out with me,
498
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,614
and then shitting on what I do?
499
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:25,409
- I mean, fucking grow up.
- You grow the fuck up!
500
00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:26,492
God.
501
00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:33,041
["Made You Look" by Nas playing]
502
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,545
[Drea] So the last thing I wanted to do
was hang around my family...
503
00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:40,632
But remember the teeny tiny island
my dad said he rented?
504
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:43,802
Apparently, he wasn't lying...
505
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,471
I mean, he blew it the fuck out.
506
00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:49,516
♪ Now let's get it all in perspective ♪
507
00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:51,977
♪ For all y'all enjoyment
A song y'all can step with ♪
508
00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:54,604
♪ Y'all appointed me
To bring rap justice ♪
509
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:57,316
♪ But I ain't Five-O
Y'all know it's Nas, yo ♪
510
00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:59,901
♪ Grey Goose and a whole lot of hydro... ♪
511
00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:01,444
Yo.
512
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:02,988
Not bad, right?
513
00:22:03,071 --> 00:22:04,114
Not bad at all.
514
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:07,117
- Thanks, boss. I like that shirt, too.
- It's TJ Maxx.
515
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,329
I'm so glad we got to vibrate
to the frequency of this ocean.
516
00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:11,997
I feel so loose and languid.
517
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:13,790
Thanks, Marquise.
518
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:16,752
Yo, Danny. You ocean vibing?
519
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:17,836
[Danny] Oh, yeah.
520
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:21,465
What's up with you guys?
521
00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:24,188
I feel like I haven't seen you
the whole time, what you been doing?
522
00:22:24,217 --> 00:22:25,135
- Well, we...
- We're just...
523
00:22:25,218 --> 00:22:27,471
we're relaxing
and enjoying the weather,
524
00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:30,223
and everything the resort
has to offer, you know.
525
00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:32,601
Isn't that right, guys?
526
00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:35,145
- Yeah. Totally. Having so much fun.
- Yeah.
527
00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:40,901
No, you cannot tell Mom and Dad,
you cannot tell Mom and Dad, please.
528
00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:44,321
Sorry, dude. It's out of our hands.
Someone's gonna find this eventually.
529
00:22:44,404 --> 00:22:46,907
I know, but they don't have to know
that we did it.
530
00:22:46,990 --> 00:22:48,158
You mean, you?
531
00:22:48,241 --> 00:22:50,410
[Izzy] I mean,
there's fingerprints all over this.
532
00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:52,054
There's no way we're getting out of it.
533
00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:54,164
You mean no way he's getting out of this.
534
00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:58,668
Oh, frick, oh, frick, oh, frick!
535
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:02,547
Wait, guys!
536
00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:05,759
What if we get rid of the evidence?
537
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:10,472
["Ante Up" by M.O.P. playing]
538
00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:16,310
Dude!
539
00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:22,901
We're going to be in so much trouble.
540
00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:24,778
[Pops] Shut up, nerds. Let's go.
541
00:23:27,322 --> 00:23:28,824
I did what had to be done.
542
00:23:29,366 --> 00:23:30,450
[phone rings]
543
00:23:30,534 --> 00:23:31,534
What's up, girl?
544
00:23:32,619 --> 00:23:36,164
Okay. Well, next time, maybe, like,
actually enjoy the resort for real.
545
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,625
Get out, do some stuff.
Especially you, Pops.
546
00:23:38,708 --> 00:23:40,436
- Yeah. Definitely agree.
- Exert yourself, man.
547
00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:41,545
Enjoy yourself.
548
00:23:42,045 --> 00:23:44,005
- Let's go find fish.
- Love you, Dad!
549
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:45,132
Love you, too, boss.
550
00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:48,343
Danny, he bothering you?
551
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:50,637
No, he's fine. It's cool. I mean, yes.
552
00:24:08,655 --> 00:24:09,781
Yo, Papa K!
553
00:24:10,365 --> 00:24:11,366
What's happening?
554
00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:13,827
What's up, Marquise?
555
00:24:13,910 --> 00:24:17,122
You wanna do some laps around this island
on these WaveRunners?
556
00:24:17,205 --> 00:24:18,206
No, not really, man.
557
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,876
I'm really just trying
to enjoy this moment in the sun.
558
00:24:21,376 --> 00:24:22,711
Oh. My bad.
559
00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:24,003
Alone.
560
00:24:24,754 --> 00:24:25,754
By myself.
561
00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:28,425
- For sure.
- With nobody else around.
562
00:24:28,508 --> 00:24:29,843
I just wanted to thank you again.
563
00:24:29,926 --> 00:24:32,053
It's really dope
how your whole family's embracing me.
564
00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:34,157
I basically feel like
I'm another one of the Barrises.
565
00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:35,474
You're not, but...
566
00:24:35,724 --> 00:24:37,142
I get how you feel like that.
567
00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:39,102
I hate Marquise.
568
00:24:39,978 --> 00:24:42,147
Like really, really, really hate him.
569
00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:44,691
Seems like you've been
a big hit on this trip.
570
00:24:45,108 --> 00:24:47,736
Even heard you took some time
to teach my son how to swim.
571
00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:49,613
Thank you for that, by the way.
572
00:24:49,696 --> 00:24:51,865
No, I didn't teach him.
He wouldn't take to water.
573
00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:54,635
It was crazy. The whole time
he was kicking and screaming
574
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,453
and asking for his real daddy.
575
00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:57,787
It's crazy, because
576
00:24:57,871 --> 00:25:01,249
I don't think about my real daddy,
but I started thinking about my daddy.
577
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:02,167
[sniffs]
578
00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:04,920
He never tried, he wasn't around.
But you try.
579
00:25:05,378 --> 00:25:07,047
- I do try.
- Yeah.
580
00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:09,841
I don't know that they see that,
but I try.
581
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:11,259
It's crazy. You try.
582
00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:13,845
- I do.
- Means everything.
583
00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:16,515
I mean, it's all you have as a man.
584
00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:18,099
Marquise is a good kid.
585
00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:20,101
Like, a really, really good kid.
586
00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:23,021
I don't see what the problem
everybody else has with him.
587
00:25:24,022 --> 00:25:25,649
He seems fine to me. Solid.
588
00:25:28,443 --> 00:25:30,904
[Joya] How about some Dom and a truce?
589
00:25:32,614 --> 00:25:33,614
I'm down.
590
00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:38,453
I guess... So, we're just not gonna talk
about your book shit?
591
00:25:38,787 --> 00:25:40,121
I'd rather not.
592
00:25:40,872 --> 00:25:42,415
Why? 'Cause we're on a PI?
593
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:44,125
What's a PI?
594
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:46,378
You know, like,
a private island, like a PJ?
595
00:25:47,420 --> 00:25:49,172
I think it's private investigator.
596
00:25:50,173 --> 00:25:51,258
[Kenya sighs]
597
00:25:51,758 --> 00:25:53,552
[Joya] This is incredible.
598
00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:56,012
[Kenya] We should fucking
take some pictures for the 'gram.
599
00:25:56,096 --> 00:25:58,181
Like, the 'gram was invented
for this shit.
600
00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:00,684
Fuck the 'gram.
601
00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:03,270
- What?
- I'm getting in.
602
00:26:03,853 --> 00:26:05,188
What are you talking about?
603
00:26:05,272 --> 00:26:06,952
I'm getting in the ocean.
What do you mean?
604
00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:10,277
Jo, there's shit that lives in there.
All kinda shit.
605
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:12,571
[Joya] Yeah. Crab, fish, sharks.
606
00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:14,781
Who cares? There's room for all of us.
607
00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:16,866
Dude, I'm cool.
608
00:26:16,950 --> 00:26:19,160
I'm gonna stick to swimming at the pool.
I'm good.
609
00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:21,121
- Don't... Come on!
- I'm good.
610
00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:23,081
You're not gonna come in?
611
00:26:23,164 --> 00:26:26,376
Nope, I'mma use this image
for my yank-bank later. You look great.
612
00:26:32,799 --> 00:26:34,718
Come on in, you pussy!
613
00:26:37,137 --> 00:26:38,430
No, Jo.
614
00:26:40,390 --> 00:26:43,059
Jo, we're swimming pool swimmers.
We're not ocean swimmers.
615
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:45,603
We don't do this.
616
00:26:47,772 --> 00:26:48,772
Jo!
617
00:26:49,482 --> 00:26:50,482
Jo!
618
00:26:52,193 --> 00:26:54,529
- Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
- Help!
619
00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:56,615
Shit! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
620
00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:57,699
Hold on, babe!
621
00:26:58,408 --> 00:26:59,408
[Joya] Help!
622
00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:02,078
It's gonna be okay! Hold your breath!
623
00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:05,206
Hold on, I'm coming, babe!
624
00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:06,458
- Mom!
- Mom!
625
00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:08,710
- [Drea] Dad, help her!
- [Pops] Dad, go!
626
00:27:08,793 --> 00:27:12,422
- [Drea] Dad, help her!
- I'm going! This is silk! This is silk!
627
00:27:12,505 --> 00:27:14,007
[all] Go!
628
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:15,300
- Marquise!
- Wait!
629
00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:18,011
[splashing]
630
00:27:21,181 --> 00:27:23,183
[dramatic music playing]
631
00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:26,811
Fuck that dude.
632
00:27:27,437 --> 00:27:30,065
- Mom!
- Mom!
633
00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:31,148
Mom!
634
00:27:32,984 --> 00:27:34,235
Mom, you okay?
635
00:27:37,572 --> 00:27:39,199
You don't just save another man's wife
636
00:27:39,282 --> 00:27:41,910
when I was clearly gearing up
to do it myself.
637
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:45,622
It's that weirdo Pasadena shit, dude
638
00:27:47,123 --> 00:27:49,459
Babe, are you okay? I got you a towel.
639
00:27:51,419 --> 00:27:52,420
You okay?
640
00:27:53,838 --> 00:27:55,548
- I'm fine.
- [Kenya] It's dry.
641
00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:59,302
Don't go out there.
The current's really strong.
642
00:28:06,017 --> 00:28:07,227
I think his shirt's cotton.
643
00:28:07,352 --> 00:28:09,270
No, no, I mean, I totally get it.
644
00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:10,897
You can't just jump right in.
645
00:28:10,980 --> 00:28:12,607
You gotta take off that watch,
646
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:14,109
and your phone,
647
00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:15,902
and your expensive clothes,
648
00:28:15,985 --> 00:28:20,573
and that wallet that's filled
with an unnecessarily large wad of cash,
649
00:28:20,657 --> 00:28:24,160
and all of your jewelry,
because God forbid you just...
650
00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:26,079
[sighs]
651
00:28:26,246 --> 00:28:27,246
You know what?
652
00:28:29,499 --> 00:28:30,542
It all worked out.
653
00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:31,959
I'm here.
654
00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:34,211
It's okay.
655
00:28:37,757 --> 00:28:38,758
It's not okay.
656
00:28:39,467 --> 00:28:40,719
It's not okay.
657
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,222
Yeah, it didn't feel okay.
658
00:28:45,473 --> 00:28:48,143
It didn't. It didn't.
659
00:28:52,814 --> 00:28:54,023
[sighs]
660
00:28:54,107 --> 00:28:57,444
Professor Hobson was, by far,
the sexiest man I had ever encountered.
661
00:28:57,527 --> 00:29:01,823
If you just... give me, like, a tiny bit
more bronzer around the cheekbone,
662
00:29:01,906 --> 00:29:03,116
'cause I need contour.
663
00:29:03,700 --> 00:29:05,744
Every single girl in my 1L class
knew that.
664
00:29:05,827 --> 00:29:08,514
[Drea] While my mom was pushing through
to prep for her book event...
665
00:29:08,538 --> 00:29:11,708
my dad was drowning his sorrows
with an old friend.
666
00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:14,586
[Andre] Even though we were able
to live lives separately,
667
00:29:14,794 --> 00:29:17,797
we made the choice
to live a new life together.
668
00:29:17,881 --> 00:29:20,425
And yeah, it was going to take work,
669
00:29:20,508 --> 00:29:24,137
but there was no one I'd rather work with
than Bow.
670
00:29:26,055 --> 00:29:27,348
Such a good show.
671
00:29:27,932 --> 00:29:29,517
Such a fucking good show.
672
00:29:35,732 --> 00:29:38,735
Okay, I'm gonna need you
to shoot the shit out of this, okay?
673
00:29:38,985 --> 00:29:41,112
Please just do that...
Can you do that for me?
674
00:29:41,196 --> 00:29:42,715
- Please, Drea?
- [Drea] Yeah, Mom. Chill.
675
00:29:42,739 --> 00:29:44,324
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
676
00:29:44,407 --> 00:29:46,367
I'm being aggressive.
I'm just really nervous.
677
00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:49,621
I just...
I really need this to go well today.
678
00:29:49,704 --> 00:29:52,123
You know, I can't go
from being Joya Barris, Esquire
679
00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:54,959
to failed author Joya Barris, Esquire.
680
00:29:55,293 --> 00:29:57,462
And I really need to prove your da...
681
00:29:58,379 --> 00:30:01,549
I really need to prove da haters wrong.
682
00:30:02,592 --> 00:30:04,260
Is my eye twitching? Oh, God.
683
00:30:04,344 --> 00:30:06,346
[applause]
684
00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:08,180
[Joya] Hi.
685
00:30:09,224 --> 00:30:10,224
Hi!
686
00:30:10,308 --> 00:30:11,308
Oh!
687
00:30:11,434 --> 00:30:13,019
Thank you so much. Um...
688
00:30:13,561 --> 00:30:14,561
[clears throat]
689
00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:16,356
I'm just a little... Excuse me.
690
00:30:18,608 --> 00:30:20,235
Oh, shit.
691
00:30:21,486 --> 00:30:22,570
Okay. Oh.
692
00:30:25,031 --> 00:30:26,032
Thank you.
693
00:30:26,115 --> 00:30:28,076
Thank you so much for, um...
694
00:30:28,159 --> 00:30:29,160
for coming today.
695
00:30:29,244 --> 00:30:30,453
Um... [clears throat]
696
00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:32,121
Okay. Oh.
697
00:30:34,624 --> 00:30:36,292
I'm Joya Barris.
698
00:30:36,376 --> 00:30:39,879
I'm the author of the book, obviously.
699
00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,548
[laughs]
700
00:30:41,631 --> 00:30:43,132
[sighs and clears throat]
701
00:30:45,885 --> 00:30:49,973
Um, so before we, uh, get...
before I get started,
702
00:30:50,348 --> 00:30:51,348
um...
703
00:30:51,724 --> 00:30:53,893
I just want to say how much this book
704
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:56,688
means to me and, uh...
705
00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:08,408
[exhaling]
706
00:31:08,491 --> 00:31:10,785
The humble words that Andre Johnson said,
707
00:31:11,327 --> 00:31:12,328
that I wrote...
708
00:31:13,663 --> 00:31:14,789
really got to me.
709
00:31:15,790 --> 00:31:17,542
Made me want to be a better person.
710
00:31:18,209 --> 00:31:19,335
Be a better husband.
711
00:31:20,753 --> 00:31:21,753
Black-ish.
712
00:31:22,630 --> 00:31:23,965
Such a good show.
713
00:31:24,215 --> 00:31:25,884
- Such a good show.
- [Drea] Yeah.
714
00:31:26,301 --> 00:31:27,927
Never got that Emmy, though.
715
00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:29,553
Nope.
716
00:31:30,638 --> 00:31:33,349
Got the Humanitas, Golden Globe,
717
00:31:34,267 --> 00:31:35,977
AFI, Peabody,
718
00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:38,563
bunch of amateur awards,
719
00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,148
basically swept.
720
00:31:42,567 --> 00:31:43,567
That Emmy,
721
00:31:44,527 --> 00:31:45,820
elusive statue.
722
00:31:48,740 --> 00:31:51,701
I worked for a long time on it,
and it wouldn't
723
00:31:52,118 --> 00:31:54,287
have been possible without the support
724
00:31:54,704 --> 00:31:56,456
and love of my family,
725
00:31:57,332 --> 00:31:58,499
which, um...
726
00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:02,795
you're about to hear too much about, so...
727
00:32:03,296 --> 00:32:05,214
without further ado, um...
728
00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:07,967
I'll just read you a little bit.
729
00:32:08,885 --> 00:32:11,596
We'll start with my favorite chapter...
730
00:32:12,513 --> 00:32:17,518
entitled "Why Babies and Molly Don't Mix."
731
00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:18,686
[guests laughing]
732
00:32:19,145 --> 00:32:22,398
Thank you so much for coming.
Thank you.
733
00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:23,482
Hi!
734
00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:25,275
Thank you.
735
00:32:27,028 --> 00:32:30,573
Don't forget, you too can be a lawyer,
wife, mother of six.
736
00:32:31,074 --> 00:32:32,617
Oh, I'm actually barren.
737
00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:36,412
But I'm considering going back
to law school now, so...
738
00:32:36,496 --> 00:32:38,216
- Oh! That's the spirit, honey.
- Thank you.
739
00:32:40,333 --> 00:32:42,543
- Who's next? Yeah.
- [Kenya] I'm sorry. Excuse me.
740
00:32:42,752 --> 00:32:45,797
Don't shoot. It's just me.
It's my wife, I'm so sorry. [chuckling]
741
00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:47,089
I'm so sorry.
742
00:32:47,423 --> 00:32:48,800
- Hi.
- Um, hi.
743
00:32:49,008 --> 00:32:51,302
Dude, that was fucking amazing.
744
00:32:52,011 --> 00:32:54,472
I'm so proud of you. Like, seriously.
745
00:32:54,555 --> 00:32:56,599
- Are you fucking with me?
- No, man.
746
00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:58,017
Like, that was amazing.
747
00:32:58,101 --> 00:33:01,020
Like, I'm so glad I came,
I can't believe I almost missed this.
748
00:33:01,688 --> 00:33:04,857
Even though you didn't tell me about it,
and I found out at the last minute...
749
00:33:04,941 --> 00:33:07,068
- Kenya, listen.
- Um... No.
750
00:33:07,151 --> 00:33:09,654
You didn't tell me about it
because I've been being a dick.
751
00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:13,074
Seriously, I'm sorry.
752
00:33:13,157 --> 00:33:15,076
I've been giving you shit
about this and...
753
00:33:15,576 --> 00:33:18,454
seeing you out here doing your thing
and, like, living your life.
754
00:33:18,538 --> 00:33:19,539
It's amazing.
755
00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:22,709
I forget how dope you are
because we're just in our shit every day,
756
00:33:22,792 --> 00:33:23,876
but you're the shit.
757
00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:26,963
- Really?
- Yes, babe. I'm so sorry.
758
00:33:27,922 --> 00:33:29,507
- I love you.
- I love you.
759
00:33:29,590 --> 00:33:32,260
I'm really, really sorry.
Thank you for putting up with me.
760
00:33:32,343 --> 00:33:34,103
- I do put up with you.
- [laughs] I'm a lot.
761
00:33:34,178 --> 00:33:36,431
- You're a lucky man.
- I am the luckiest.
762
00:33:36,514 --> 00:33:37,724
[both laugh]
763
00:33:37,807 --> 00:33:38,850
Have you, um...
764
00:33:39,308 --> 00:33:40,518
read the book yet?
765
00:33:41,436 --> 00:33:42,437
Oh...
766
00:33:42,937 --> 00:33:45,106
- I want to say yes...
- No. It's okay.
767
00:33:45,189 --> 00:33:46,774
I think, maybe better you don't.
768
00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:48,735
Yeah, just summarize it for me.
769
00:33:48,818 --> 00:33:49,818
Yeah, I will.
770
00:33:50,319 --> 00:33:52,131
- I love you.
- I'm so proud of you. Seriously.
771
00:33:52,155 --> 00:33:53,906
Hurry up. Come home. Bye!
772
00:33:54,824 --> 00:33:56,951
So sorry, guys. Thank you. Amazing book.
773
00:33:57,368 --> 00:33:59,871
Start to finish.
Thrills, chills, everything.
774
00:34:00,621 --> 00:34:02,498
He's actually a really nice guy.
775
00:34:02,582 --> 00:34:03,666
[woman laughing]
776
00:34:03,750 --> 00:34:06,753
So, barely, just barely,
777
00:34:06,836 --> 00:34:10,757
our family had survived
the latest Barris family vacation war.
778
00:34:11,174 --> 00:34:14,969
Each of the troops left affected
in their own unique ways.
779
00:34:16,220 --> 00:34:18,598
Some came out earning new stripes
and respect...
780
00:34:19,223 --> 00:34:22,101
accomplishing near impossible missions...
781
00:34:22,185 --> 00:34:24,729
["The Scientist" by Coldplay playing]
782
00:34:24,812 --> 00:34:26,939
...emerging as battle-tested heroes.
783
00:34:28,816 --> 00:34:29,901
And as for me,
784
00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:33,613
while I was coming out of the trenches
a little wounded,
785
00:34:34,113 --> 00:34:38,076
I had faced the dangers
outside my comfort zone and survived.
786
00:34:39,202 --> 00:34:41,496
Ready to put myself out there
a little more...
787
00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:44,707
thanks to the help of an old ally.
788
00:34:45,249 --> 00:34:48,836
♪ Nobody said it was easy... ♪
789
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,380
When I first started filming
this documentary,
790
00:34:51,798 --> 00:34:53,674
there were a lot of,
791
00:34:54,717 --> 00:34:58,137
let's say, ugly moments
that I was hesitant to show.
792
00:34:58,888 --> 00:35:00,640
Especially the fighting.
793
00:35:01,808 --> 00:35:05,186
But, something that I've come to realize
is that
794
00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:07,105
families need to fight.
795
00:35:07,605 --> 00:35:10,608
Just like countries fight
to build a better world,
796
00:35:10,691 --> 00:35:12,860
families fight to better each other.
797
00:35:13,236 --> 00:35:14,237
It's healthy.
798
00:35:16,697 --> 00:35:18,533
It's like my dad said before:
799
00:35:19,534 --> 00:35:22,787
You only really have to start worrying
when the fighting stops.
800
00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:26,457
And if I know anything about my family,
801
00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:29,669
the fighting isn't stopping anytime soon.
802
00:35:36,592 --> 00:35:38,594
[music continues]