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["Good Vibes"
by Tre Wright & Levi Maddox playing]
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[Drea] When you think about vacations,
you think about
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traveling the world,
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unwinding and reconnecting
with your family.
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[music fades]
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But everyone knows
what vacation really is.
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Vacations are war.
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["War" by Edwin Starr playing]
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[explosions, guns firing]
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- ♪ What is it good for ♪
- ♪ Absolutely nothing... ♪
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[Drea] And not the 1980s kind of war
where you exchange dirty looks
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and propaganda movies
with the Soviet Union.
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- We sail into history.
- ♪ Absolutely nothing... ♪
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I'm talking war.
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Real war, where people get messed up.
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- ♪ What is it good for ♪
- ♪ Absolutely nothing ♪
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[Drea] Now, of course, no one
starts vacations at each other's throats.
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Like any war, all sides do their best
to avoid any potential bloodshed
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through diplomacy.
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Wow. Look at these
over-the-water bungalows in Tahiti.
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I think they call those bures.
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I think they call them
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"where God would stay
if he wanted to use his AmEx points."
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Whoa. Check this out.
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They say that the sunsets in Jamaica
look like God's orgasm.
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No?
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Did you know that most
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of the world's billionaires
vacation on the French Riviera?
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[Joya] Mm-hmm.
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[Joya] What about the Bahamas?
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Dude, we're not going to the Bahamas.
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Bahamas is like the fucking Orlando
of the Caribbean. Not doing that.
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Okay, well, we're not going to Tahiti.
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Why?
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Because we're not a Midwestern couple
who's gonna take our second honeymoon
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because we hit it big
on a scratcher, that's why.
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- [sighs]
- We're not going to fucking...
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- Puerto Rico, either.
- Why?
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Name one beautiful place in Puerto Rico.
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Vieques.
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That's not Spanish, that's German.
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- You just made that up.
- You don't even know.
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Okay, how about DR?
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- DR?
- DR.
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Do you... Do you love your life?
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'Cause if you love your life,
we're not going to DR.
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- Why?
- Because I'm not willing to die
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"of natural causes"
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as my heart explodes out of my chest.
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That shit was weird, dude.
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- What's wrong with Hawaii?
- Where in Hawaii?
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Like, Oahu.
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I knew you were gonna say
the worst island possible.
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And when talks fail,
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the next step is to rally your allies
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and start your campaign of misinformation.
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What up, Stink?
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Not that I have to sell Brazil
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because Brazil is Brazil, but you know,
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it is Brazil.
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Can every single creature
in Australia kill you?
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Sure, but that's the price you pay
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when you wanna go somewhere they call
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"The Gold Coast."
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Costa Rica.
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It's the place Nelly Furtado
went to go get cured of AIDS.
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- Nelly Furtado doesn't have AIDS.
- Not anymore, she doesn't.
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[Drea] And even though alliances are made,
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they can easily be broken.
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Okay. You want these Super Soakers?
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Mm-hmm.
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All right, then it has to be Jamaica.
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- Jamaica!
- Jamaica!
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[Joya] Yes!
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- Love you, Mom!
- Love you!
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My guys!
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[kids laughing, yelling]
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Hey!
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[kids continue laughing]
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[both groaning]
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[Kenya] Look, calm down, guys.
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[kids] Whoa!
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- [Kenya] Listen to me.
- Money!
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You don't wanna go to Jamaica, okay?
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- Trust me on this.
- Yeah, we do.
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You know what Jamaica is?
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It's an island that has
broken glass everywhere,
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just little pieces shattered
all over the ground.
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I think Jamaica actually means,
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"island of broken glass."
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Wouldn't you rather go to a place
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we can sleep
in a over-the-water Tahitian bungalow?
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[Kam] Ooh.
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[Kenya] Doesn't that seem crazy?
You can sleep above sharks.
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[excitedly] What? That is so cool!
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- No, that is not so cool!
- [Kenya] What do you mean?
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- Why would I wanna sleep above sharks?
- What is happening?
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Why would you even be allowed
to sleep above sharks?
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This place sounds super negligent, Dad.
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What are you, some kind of cop?
What's wrong with you?
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[Drea] Do you like being
Pops's younger brother?
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I'm the little brother,
but I'm not younger.
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No, you're the little brother
and you're younger than him.
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That guy's older than me?
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I find that hard to believe.
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I don't know what else
is below there, man.
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Probably, like,
turtles or stingrays and stuff.
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Stingrays are cool, right?
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Isn't that that thing
that killed the Crocodile Hunter?
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That was just a freak accident.
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The dude hunts crocodiles,
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and got killed by a stingray?
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Fine, man.
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But how about clownfish?
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They also have clownfish
you could sleep above.
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Clownfish are way cooler than sharks.
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I mean, you love clownfish.
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I do love clownfish.
Nemo was a clownfish.
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Yet he also almost got eaten
by a shark.
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[Kam] But he didn't.
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Didn't that shark
end up becoming his friend?
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He did.
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He really did.
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What is happening right now?
You two are a mess.
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Are you in or out?
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Island of broken glass
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or clownfish?
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Yes!
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[Kam] No! No!
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- No!
- Dad!
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[Kenya] The boys want to go to Tahiti.
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Really? Nothing to do with you?
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'Cause they were really excited
about Jamaica
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until you got in their ear.
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- [stammering] I'm...
- Chloe still wants to go.
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What are you talkin' about? Okay.
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And we know which way
Drea is going to sway.
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Why does that make you comfortable
that one of our kids
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is always gonna be on your side?
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Because that's a great thing.
That means I'm a good parent.
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That means it comes down to Brooklyn,
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and he stared at me in my face
the other day
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while he took a shit in his pants.
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So as far as I'm concerned,
his credibility is kind of shot.
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Agreed.
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[Kenya sighs]
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What about Fiji?
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- Fiji's actually interesting.
- It is, right?
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I know how you love
your hand-murdered pork
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and pineapple combination.
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I do. I think it's something...
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sexy and primal about it.
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Mm-hmm. Wait.
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Are we agreeing?
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I'm not sure. We're not...
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here a lot.
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No, we're definitely not.
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But it feels like it.
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Yeah, I think we're...
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I think we're agreeing, right?
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- Let's do this.
- Yeah!
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All right.
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We're going to Fiji!
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- Yeah!
- Yeah!
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- [kids cheering]
- [Kenya laughs]
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It was my idea!
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[kids chanting] Mom! Mom! Mom!
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- What?
- Mom! Mom! Mom!
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- What?
- How was that your idea?
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- It was my idea!
- We both talked on it.
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We talked about it,
but it was my idea first.
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- But I was...
- Who cares? It's not a competition.
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[Drea] And like Eastern Europe
in the summer of 1914...
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a family heading off on vacation
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is just a powder keg waiting to explode.
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♪ You either with me or against me, ho ♪
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♪ Ho ♪
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♪ You either with me or ♪
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♪ Wait ♪
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♪ Win, win, win, win, win ♪
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♪ Yeah ♪
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♪ Fuck everything else
Win, win, win, win ♪
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♪ Win, yeah ♪
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Things between us have, uh,
been not great.
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Mm. That feels harsh.
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But fair.
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Our marriage is horrible right now.
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Again, harsh.
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But fair.
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You know what you did
and you're okay with it?
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You're selfish. Damn!
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You think I'm riding
some kind of black wave?
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What in God's name
is happening on your feet?
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You're such a bad mom... Like, a failure.
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Look, there's obviously a problem here.
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Anyway, it's not just us.
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Everybody in the house
is at each other's throats right now.
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Money has ruined us.
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- You've never taken us bowling.
- Or to a Lakers' game.
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The whole "not trying" look
only works if you're actually trying.
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I brush my hair!
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Mom and Dad
thought you were high risk for autism.
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Y'all are soft.
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I shit the diaper, Mommy.
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Push comes to shove, I will eat you.
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00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:04,901
Yeah, well, that's why we need
a family vacation.
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00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:05,818
Yes.
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00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,362
We need, like, a collective release valve.
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We try to get them off once a year.
Let everybody go
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just get their shit off
and, you know, be themselves.
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Together.
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00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:16,786
Remember...
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00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,331
you, me, and Chloe
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00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:20,625
used to go up to Palm Springs
in that shitty Volvo?
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00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:23,336
Oh, my God!
Whatever happened to that car?
216
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,838
I sold it, remember?
217
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,673
She didn't sell it.
218
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,717
She was supposed to sell it.
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00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,969
She drove it up to Palmdale, got out,
220
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,889
left it on the side of the road
and took a town car back.
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00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:36,641
Who did you sell it to?
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00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:39,644
I don't remember. It's just so long ago.
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After the Volvo,
224
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,648
it was Mexico,
225
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,066
- flying coach.
- Mmm.
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00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,776
[Kenya laughing]
227
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:50,112
And then things started to pick up
for both of us professionally.
228
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,657
Um, yeah, we started stepping up our game
a little bit.
229
00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:56,327
You know, making that left instead
of the right when you get on the plane.
230
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,496
Flying first class
is just a different experience.
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00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:00,081
It's really almost not like flying.
232
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:01,499
Honestly, I kinda feel like
233
00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,709
the people in the back
of the plane are animals now.
234
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,419
Like, that's, like, a cargo hold.
235
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:09,840
Yo, guys, honestly,
fuck that first-class bullshit.
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That isn't when we arrive,
this trip is when we arrive.
237
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:15,263
I really did it.
Set this shit off this time.
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00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,265
Went in my bag and went for it.
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00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:18,683
[exhales]
240
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,768
I did it. It's PJ time.
241
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:22,645
It's PJ o'clock. It's...
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00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:23,938
It's half-past PJ.
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00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:26,941
PJ's "private jet."
Why didn't I just say, "private jet."
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00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:29,443
If I'm acting nervous,
it's because I'm nervous.
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00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,696
Private jets are, like, really expensive.
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00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:34,282
In fact, I've heard people
with a lot of money say
247
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,992
"It's the quickest way to go broke."
248
00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:37,493
Scottie Pippen,
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00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,204
perhaps the greatest swing man
in the history
250
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:43,165
of the National Basketball Association,
went broke...
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00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,335
[exhaling]...doing what I'm doing.
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00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:48,795
He's in my head.
253
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,049
I have my concerns.
I mean, that guy could shoot,
254
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:54,760
defend, rebound,
really just a complete package.
255
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:56,845
Broke.
256
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,639
Doing what I'm doing.
257
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,311
Fuck it.
258
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,772
I'm gonna be a hero to my fucking family.
259
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,691
["Kinda Like a Big Deal" by Clipse
playing]
260
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,526
♪ I'm kinda like a big deal ♪
261
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,777
♪ It's unbelievable ♪
262
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,238
♪ You see my warning
Gives you big chills ♪
263
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,823
♪ The flow runnin' on Big's heels ♪
264
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:19,368
♪ My life after death
Big ain't get to see how this feels ♪
265
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,495
♪ Third time's a charm baby ♪
266
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,624
♪ After two classics
Another stripe up on my arm baby ♪
267
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,835
♪ Pardon me, I must say,
I'm kinda like a big deal... ♪
268
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,463
Yo, ain't know I was gonna do them
like this though, right?
269
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,256
Hit them over the head with that privé!
270
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,465
Bla-lah!
271
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:34,966
I did okay, right?
272
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,262
Taking that PJ to Fi-J,
you know what I'm saying?
273
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,181
You guys see this?
274
00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:41,682
We out 'chere.
275
00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,893
Big things in these... streets.
276
00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:47,021
Okay, go fuck myself, I guess.
277
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:52,276
Family vacation has a pretty loose meaning
in this family.
278
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,696
It's why Jo's cousin, Peaches,
and my assistant Danny are tagging along.
279
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,032
The PJ's a flat fee
so it actually makes sense,
280
00:10:58,115 --> 00:11:00,201
because the more people that come along,
281
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,870
the less it amortizes out to be,
and if you get enough people,
282
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:06,749
it's basically cheaper than a commercial
flight, is what I've been telling myself.
283
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,250
Yeah.
284
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:10,461
It's cheaper.
285
00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:13,104
- You know, this is the bigger one.
- Do they have two bathrooms?
286
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,632
- [Chloe] Q!
- [Kenya] I'm sure.
287
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:15,925
[Marquise] Chloe!
288
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,094
- Yeah!
- [both laughing]
289
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:19,637
[Chloe] Oh, my God!
290
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,430
[Chloe laughing]
291
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,600
- Did you know he was coming?
- Marquise?
292
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,018
Yeah, Marquise.
293
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,687
No.
294
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:28,979
Did you know he was coming?
295
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,439
No, I didn't know he was coming.
296
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:31,523
Wait.
297
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,234
Did you know he was coming?
298
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,360
No.
299
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:35,361
[continues laughing]
300
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,613
Of course I knew Marquise was coming.
301
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,366
It was the only way to get Chloe to come.
302
00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,243
If I had said no and made her go,
303
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:45,204
she would've been little a bitch
the whole time. So what's the point?
304
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,164
[Drea] So why didn't you just tell Dad?
305
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,251
Because he would've been
a little bitch the whole time.
306
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,460
So what's the point?
307
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:55,755
What the fuck?
308
00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:00,261
What's up with this fucking guy?
309
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,513
He just picks up people's bags?
Who does that?
310
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:05,975
You don't even like helping with the bags.
You hate helping with the bags.
311
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:07,101
I don't care, man.
312
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:09,770
You don't just pick up
another man's family's bags.
313
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,148
I'm the Dad. I decide who does that.
314
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:15,317
- Okay, you're ridiculous.
- You're ridiculous!
315
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,779
Babe, I'm the dad.
I decide about the bags.
316
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,198
- You are the dad.
- That's... That's just how it goes.
317
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:22,866
Okay.
318
00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,745
[Kenya] Yo, Danny. Playboy.
319
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:27,639
I want you
to bang out a family pic for me.
320
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:30,016
- Oh, but then I can't be in it.
- I know, I know, it's all good, bud.
321
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,834
- Just... Just get that done for me.
- Okay.
322
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,754
Kids! Let's get together for a pic.
323
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:36,338
- [Kam] No!
- Now!
324
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,758
No, come on, everybody.
Yes, you have to.
325
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,986
- I'm gonna get on the plane.
- No, you're not! No, you're not.
326
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:44,180
- I wanna watch TV on the plane.
- Please turn around. Please turn around.
327
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,932
Marquise, don't worry really
about being in this.
328
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,518
- Don't feel... Oh, you're in it.
- I'm part of the family!
329
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,145
- Oh, my God.
- Wow, this is...
330
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:52,956
- You're so close to me! Scoot.
- I don't care!
331
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,332
- [kids overlapping]
- [Danny] This is really clear.
332
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:55,191
Is this a phone or...
333
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,818
- Can you please take the picture?
- I'm taking it. I can't...
334
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,696
Just take it. Okay, fine.
The picture's taken. It's fine.
335
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,198
It's fine. It's fine.
336
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,533
Just give me the camera.
Everybody, get on the plane.
337
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:08,370
White leather.
338
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,872
This is nice, guys, right?
339
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,417
Um, you know, there's Wi-Fi.
340
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,629
It'll make your music you're using
to drown me out louder.
341
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,130
Um...
342
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:19,924
There's food in the back.
343
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:22,760
You know, it's, like,
shrimp and crab for you. Only.
344
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:23,761
- Okay.
- Thanks, Pops.
345
00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:25,054
No, it's for...
346
00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:29,058
Ba-ba! Want some juice later?
347
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:31,369
- I want some juice now.
- [Kenya] Okay, you can have some.
348
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:33,371
Okay, I'll get you some juice,
but don't tell Peaches.
349
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:34,395
She'll drink it all.
350
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:37,107
What up, boys?
Got the couch option, I see.
351
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,901
Nice white leather.
352
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:41,529
There's beverages in the back.
I think I saw a La Croix
353
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,072
and some other things you may like.
354
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:44,740
Danny, you're welcome, buddy.
355
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,492
Seriously. I know this is a big day.
356
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,410
That shirt's dog shit too, by the way.
357
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:50,079
This is us, guys.
358
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:52,163
All right.
359
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:55,167
Ridiculous, I swear.
360
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,251
Fucking...
361
00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:58,294
Look at that.
362
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,464
Hashtag ungrateful.
363
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:01,882
Can you stop?
364
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,718
This is for us. That's okay.
365
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:07,388
Everybody knows you're a baller.
366
00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:09,723
They're just used to it.
And that's a good thing.
367
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:10,641
[Kenya] How?
368
00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:13,477
'Cause otherwise they would be maniacs
running around
369
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:16,647
trying to eat all the prosciutto
and melon before we take off.
370
00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:19,149
There's prosciutto and melon?
371
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,111
Guys! Prosciutto and melon
is also available.
372
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:25,489
It's delicious. I'm gonna get everybody
a plate. It comes with the plane.
373
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,382
[Chloe] Let's see what movies are playing.
374
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:34,707
You know? You know?
375
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:39,670
Why are you staring at Chloe
with crippling sadness?
376
00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,046
[scoffing] I'm not.
377
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:45,009
[Izzy] So, my sisters always fight.
Like, they hate each other.
378
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:47,469
Then, for some reason
when we go on vacation,
379
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,013
they're like best friends.
380
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:52,433
But now Chloe has Marquise,
and Drea's all alone.
381
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,978
She's really in her feelings about it.
It's hilarious.
382
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,439
[Izzy laughing]
383
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,693
You need therapy. Bad.
384
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,487
At least I didn't lose my only friend.
385
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:08,073
[continues laughing]
386
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:11,576
Thanks.
387
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:14,330
You have such a beautiful family.
388
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,789
So well put together.
389
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,333
- Thank you.
- And your husband,
390
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,419
so lucky
he just gets to throw on a track suit.
391
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:22,296
Bet he can't do that at his normal job.
392
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:23,756
[chuckles]
393
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:25,299
[Joya] I get off on this shit.
394
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:28,385
She is dying to know
what we do for a living.
395
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:31,138
She's like, "How do these black people
have so much money?"
396
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:34,308
And the tattoos.
You really only see that in...
397
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,686
the music industry, or on athletes or...
398
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,688
drug dealers.
399
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:43,651
[laughing] That's fu... Yeah.
That is where you see those.
400
00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,070
Dying.
401
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:49,448
If you need anything,
or just wanna talk about your life,
402
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:50,574
I'll be around.
403
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,658
Thanks.
404
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,994
Actually, there is, uh, one thing.
405
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,328
Yeah.
406
00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:58,791
Do you have any warm nuts?
407
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,336
- Just, like, cashews or almonds?
- Yeah. Okay.
408
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:04,129
Thank you.
409
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,131
She came back,
410
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:09,301
and I organically slipped in
that I was a lawyer.
411
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,261
Blew her mind. [chuckles]
412
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:14,390
[Drea] Yeah, I'm sure
it was super organic.
413
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,979
Danny Fricka-Fricka-Fresh.
Oh, my God, or Sir White-A-Lot.
414
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,331
- Oh, I like that. I like that.
- Yeah?
415
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,983
I know you can get mad bitches with that.
And I'll twerk for you.
416
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:24,942
[Danny] You will?
417
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,878
And I'll be your Fly Girl,
you know what I'm saying?
418
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,112
- I know.
- Oh, my God!
419
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,738
- I so believe in you.
- You do?
420
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,841
- Yes! I wouldn't twerk for everybody.
- Oh, my God.
421
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,243
D. Let me holla at you
for a second, playboy.
422
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,307
[whispering] What the fuck
are you doing, dude?
423
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,125
- What?
- You don't talk to the help!
424
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:42,042
But I am the help.
425
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,396
What are you talking about?
No, you're not. You're my family.
426
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,295
Oh, that's nice.
427
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,983
'Cause before when you asked me to
take the picture, I was feeling left out.
428
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,967
Dude, why does everything
have to get weird?
429
00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:52,052
Just don't talk to Peaches.
430
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,220
- Don't talk to her.
- Why?
431
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:55,681
Because that's Joya's family.
She's a plant.
432
00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:58,600
Joya uses her to get information on me.
Do not talk to her.
433
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,186
She's just helping me
come up with DJ names.
434
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,938
Goddamn it, Danny!
435
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,208
You're not a fuckin' DJ!
Don't you see what's happening?
436
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,792
- I'm sorry, I just don't understand.
- No, you don't understand.
437
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,570
She is using you, dude.
438
00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:12,072
She's making you believe
that you can do anything.
439
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:14,450
Then she takes all the information.
Next thing you know,
440
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:15,826
I'm... I'm dead.
441
00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:17,619
By the way, have you seen this bathroom?
442
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,848
- It's incredible. I'll use the toilet now.
- Incredible.
443
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,915
No, you can't use it. The...
444
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,960
The captain has some rule,
like, only immediate family members.
445
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,795
I thought you said I was your...
446
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,798
No, I'm just saying, like,
this is the captain's rules, not mine.
447
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:30,758
- Okay.
- Okay.
448
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:32,801
But there's a squat pot or something.
449
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:33,885
That's... Okay.
450
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,096
Danny? You my family.
451
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:39,558
No, not that kind of family.
452
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,855
Hi, um, could I get a glass of champagne?
453
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,276
- Sure, let me get that for you.
- Thank you.
454
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,737
So, fake IDs?
That's what we're doing now?
455
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:55,365
Hey, it doesn't matter anyways.
We're in international waters.
456
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,744
Uh, we're not in the water.
We're in the air.
457
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,913
Okay, how about you get a glass
and loosen up?
458
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,289
I don't like champagne.
459
00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:06,293
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize
you had such a refined alcohol palate
460
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:08,796
to not like
the world's most beloved drink.
461
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,589
I like other alcohol.
462
00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,006
Like what?
463
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,217
Vodka.
464
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:15,802
What kind?
465
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:17,470
Ciroc.
466
00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:18,554
What flavor?
467
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,641
Guava.
468
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:24,186
You are so lame!
469
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:26,647
You literally chose the one flavor
that they don't make.
470
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,899
Look, they have apple,
471
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:30,859
pineapple, red berry,
472
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:31,943
- amaretto.
- Here you go.
473
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:33,445
Thank you so much.
474
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,614
You know what?
I don't have to take shit from you.
475
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,909
Peach, limited edition white grape. Yummy!
476
00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:41,286
Yo, I just had a transformative dream.
477
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:44,206
And it was beautiful.
478
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,289
[Chloe] Mmm.
479
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:49,128
Okay, they have French vanilla,
480
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:52,548
mango, pineapple, coconut.
481
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:56,175
All right.
482
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:58,595
[laughing]
483
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,973
Come on. You just gotta pull the hand out.
484
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,738
It's a really simple game.
Move your hand.
485
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,434
Are you serious about this clown?
486
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:06,770
Why did you just call my boyfriend
a clown?
487
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:09,273
- [Kam giggling]
- I get it. You guys are a college thing.
488
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,859
But it's a college thing
and then it's over, right?
489
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,026
[Chloe] Look at him.
490
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:15,445
- [Kenya] I'm looking at him.
- He's so cute.
491
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,739
You know who else was cute? Manson.
492
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:22,077
- Just tell me it's gonna stop soon.
- Dad, it's my choice, okay?
493
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,413
Can we not talk about this right now?
494
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,749
I've always questioned
Chloe's judgment, but...
495
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,125
this is different.
496
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:30,752
This is scary.
497
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,589
[Marquise] Excuse me, Pops,
can I talk to you for a quick second?
498
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:34,714
Hey, man.
499
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:38,135
I just wanna say
this is a really amazing opportunity
500
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,262
and it's so dope
that you put all this together.
501
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:41,763
It's special.
502
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,515
You know, I don't have a dad.
503
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:46,143
I mean, I'm not saying
you're my dad. I'm just,
504
00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:48,770
you know, you just have
such a beautiful family and...
505
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,983
I guess I'm just really thankful
you decided to include me in all of this.
506
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:55,110
So, like, I don't know,
real talk, thank you.
507
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:57,445
Mm-hmm.
508
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,157
Mmm.
509
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,868
You're a Jamaican dude.
You wanna marry a Swedish model
510
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:04,119
and move to Pasadena,
511
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,580
that's what your kid's gonna look like.
Remember that.
512
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,082
["Quiet Storm (Remix)" by Mobb Deep
playing]
513
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,543
♪ We done seen it all
And been through it all, yo ♪
514
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:15,297
♪ Let y'all niggas know right now
Word to mother, for real, for real ♪
515
00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:17,883
[Drea] Rarely do I give my parents
credit for anything...
516
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,343
but Fiji?
517
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,970
Why did it take us so long to come here?
518
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:24,556
♪ Blowin' niggas
With rusty-ass German things ♪
519
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,017
♪ Keepin' it thorough
Is our motherfuckin' claim to fame ♪
520
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,811
♪ Throw on your wetsuit
When it rains it pours and all ♪
521
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,055
♪ Hit 'em with the four... ♪
522
00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:33,232
- [conch sounding]
- [yells]
523
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,359
♪ Niggas wanna clap me
Snitches wanna rat me? ♪
524
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,236
♪ Put it right where they back be ♪
525
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,696
♪ Keep my Dunns close to me
Enemies even closer ♪
526
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,823
♪ Sendin' kites with the Motorolas, yo ♪
527
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,493
♪ Give 'em the cold shoulder
With a hollow-tip to match ♪
528
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,703
♪ Bad apple outta the batch
Obsessed with gats ♪
529
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:49,539
♪ Since a little dude
Eating niggas food buck-fifty's ♪
530
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:51,625
♪ Niggas can kill me
But they comin' wit me ♪
531
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,211
♪ How about that
Send the Queen Bee to attack ♪
532
00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:56,588
♪ Only a fly bitch like that
Can leave 'em relaxed ♪
533
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,132
♪ Rock 'em to sleep
Make 'em think the drama is dead ♪
534
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,677
♪ Yo, I smile up in your face
Though I'm plottin' instead ♪
535
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,863
♪ Yo, it's the real shit
Shit to make you feel shit ♪
536
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:07,015
♪ Thump 'em in the club shit
Have you wilding out when you bump this ♪
537
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:08,892
♪ Drugs to your eardrum
The raw uncut ♪
538
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:11,144
♪ Have a nigga OD
'Cause it's never enough ♪
539
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,563
♪ Yo, it's the real shit
Shit to make you feel shit ♪
540
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:16,817
♪ Thump 'em in the club shit
Have you wilding out when you bump this ♪
541
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:19,027
♪ Drugs to your eardrum
The raw uncut ♪
542
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,321
♪ Have a nigga OD
'Cause it's never enough ♪
543
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,242
I'll be honest, this would not be a bad
place to play Count the Black People.
544
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,411
It would be an extremely short game.
545
00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:29,579
Like, almost immediately over. [laughing]
546
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,915
Ooh, what about that African family
right over there?
547
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,960
- No.
- No.
548
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:37,063
[Kenya] Africans don't really fuck
with African-Americans.
549
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,130
They look down on us.
550
00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:39,881
See? Didn't even say hi.
551
00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:42,426
They're kind of better than us
in some ways.
552
00:21:42,509 --> 00:21:44,261
We're the black people that got caught.
553
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,932
[Drea] If you're still following
the war/powder keg metaphor,
554
00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,601
room assignments
were basically the matches.
555
00:21:58,525 --> 00:21:59,776
No, no, no.
556
00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:02,821
You two can share the couch.
I'm taking the bed.
557
00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:05,741
Izzy's always pushing me around.
558
00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:07,408
Not this trip.
559
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,661
This time,
I'm going to stick up for myself.
560
00:22:09,786 --> 00:22:10,787
You know what, Izzy?
561
00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:14,374
I don't think you understand.
It is not okay to ju...
562
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,420
I just folded those!
563
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:20,671
[Kam] What the...
564
00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:23,383
- [Pops] Izzy!
- I really don't care what you think.
565
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:28,805
Don't worry, little bro.
You can stay on the couch with me.
566
00:22:30,807 --> 00:22:32,434
[Kam] I love my little brother.
567
00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:33,894
I mean big brother.
568
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,689
This is going to take some
getting used to.
569
00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:39,775
I mean, he's just so soft.
570
00:22:40,275 --> 00:22:42,277
It's fine. It's just who I am.
571
00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:44,237
No, it's not fine.
572
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,031
You got to stand up for yourself.
573
00:22:46,239 --> 00:22:48,283
You can't be a victim your whole life.
574
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:52,079
You see why this guy confuses me?
575
00:22:56,249 --> 00:22:58,460
Um, what is he doing in here?
576
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,296
Um, this is actually me
and Marquise's room, so...
577
00:23:01,421 --> 00:23:02,255
[Kenya laughs]
578
00:23:02,339 --> 00:23:05,509
No, it is fucking not. Are you crazy?
579
00:23:05,967 --> 00:23:07,386
Nope, not on my watch.
580
00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:09,971
I mean, I'm a cool dad.
I'm not that fucking cool.
581
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:12,724
You will be staying with your sister
in this room.
582
00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:15,519
And I'm going to be staying with...
583
00:23:15,602 --> 00:23:17,104
I wish you weren't here,
584
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:19,773
but since you are,
you're going to be staying with Danny.
585
00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:21,656
- Yes!
- Who, unfortunately, only has one bed.
586
00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:24,069
- Respect.
- To Danny.
587
00:23:26,988 --> 00:23:28,990
I sleep in the nude, FYI, so...
588
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,826
- Me too.
- Real life crazy person.
589
00:23:35,163 --> 00:23:37,249
- This is really beautiful, dude.
- Yeah.
590
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,729
It's hot as fuck, though. Did you know
it was gonna be this hot out here?
591
00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:43,255
I mean, yeah. It's an island.
592
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:45,132
Yeah, I guess that's right.
593
00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:46,633
Yo, man, look.
594
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:49,261
I need you
to watch Marquise for me. Seriously.
595
00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:51,555
Like, don't let him outta your eyes
this entire trip.
596
00:23:51,638 --> 00:23:53,198
Sweet. That guy has it all figured out.
597
00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:55,684
I feel like I can learn a lot
just by being in his orbit.
598
00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:57,734
Do I have to worry
about you fucking him, too?
599
00:23:57,811 --> 00:23:58,811
What?
600
00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:01,481
Do I have to worry
about you fucking him, too?
601
00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:03,024
He's dating your daughter already.
602
00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:05,652
- I mean, it's not even a...
- That's not the answer, dude!
603
00:24:05,735 --> 00:24:06,570
What do...
604
00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:08,029
- No?
- I mean, he's taken.
605
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,197
[sighs]
606
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,384
Dude, I'm gonna go cut these into shorts.
I'll be back.
607
00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:12,701
- Do you need help?
- No, man!
608
00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:14,178
- I'll hold your...
- What's going on?
609
00:24:14,202 --> 00:24:15,202
Okay, nothing!
610
00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:18,956
[Kenya] Yo, yo!
611
00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:21,168
- [Joya] Yo.
- What's up, cutie?
612
00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:22,711
- Hey.
- How you doing?
613
00:24:23,086 --> 00:24:24,086
Good.
614
00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:26,006
Not bad, right?
615
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:27,883
Beautiful.
616
00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:31,219
I got that island.
Rented that for us for lunch.
617
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:32,220
That's ours.
618
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:33,889
This big island?
619
00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:34,973
No, that...
620
00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:36,808
It's that one.
621
00:24:37,350 --> 00:24:38,935
Was it expensive?
622
00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:42,189
It wasn't cheap. It's an island.
623
00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:46,651
Anyway, you want to go to the beach?
Everybody's hanging out.
624
00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:48,945
- Nah.
- Nah?
625
00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:52,282
We also could, you know, maybe...
626
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:54,576
Uh, no, I...
627
00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:57,037
I'm just getting situated.
628
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:58,514
You know, I got to get my bearings.
629
00:24:58,538 --> 00:24:59,748
- Sure.
- Yeah.
630
00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:02,667
This is "vacation mode" for Jo.
She never wants to do anything.
631
00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:04,127
I mean, literally nothing.
632
00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:07,964
The point of vacation
is not to do anything.
633
00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:09,090
To relax.
634
00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:12,969
This is an indication
that I'm in a very good place in my life.
635
00:25:13,053 --> 00:25:14,304
If I wasn't relaxed,
636
00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:16,515
I would be manic and nobody wants that.
637
00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:19,410
The guess the point of this vacation
was to work on our marriage.
638
00:25:19,434 --> 00:25:20,435
She said it was horrible.
639
00:25:20,852 --> 00:25:23,605
You heard her.
She literally said those words, so...
640
00:25:24,064 --> 00:25:25,440
Here I am, working.
641
00:25:25,941 --> 00:25:26,941
On our marriage.
642
00:25:27,442 --> 00:25:29,945
- Um, all right, have a good day.
- Thank you.
643
00:25:30,028 --> 00:25:32,614
We could also do other, like, top stuff
if you want.
644
00:25:33,740 --> 00:25:34,991
No, forget it. All right.
645
00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:37,244
- Have a good day.
- You too.
646
00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:39,037
Doing whatever it is you're doing.
647
00:25:40,038 --> 00:25:41,038
Jump!
648
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:46,670
- [Peaches] Get in the pool, Brooklyn.
- No.
649
00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:49,089
Get in the pool, you coward.
650
00:25:49,172 --> 00:25:50,257
[Kenya] Yo, babe.
651
00:25:50,340 --> 00:25:51,567
- [Brooklyn] No.
- [Peaches] Come on!
652
00:25:51,591 --> 00:25:53,591
We've got some light.
We should do something, dude.
653
00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:56,555
Like, get on a fucking jet ski
or go snorkel or some shit.
654
00:25:56,638 --> 00:25:59,808
Get one of those stand-up paddle boards
the white dudes be doing.
655
00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:01,476
Nah.
656
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,105
I mean, or we could find, like,
a spot on the beach
657
00:26:05,188 --> 00:26:08,567
kind of secluded, like,
maybe just me and you.
658
00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:09,776
Nah.
659
00:26:09,859 --> 00:26:10,859
[Kenya groans]
660
00:26:10,902 --> 00:26:11,902
Right.
661
00:26:13,321 --> 00:26:14,823
Yo, my man.
662
00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:16,366
[tapping]
663
00:26:16,616 --> 00:26:18,868
It's gonna fuckin' be a long night.
664
00:26:18,952 --> 00:26:21,746
Just keep the drinks coming,
doubles for both of us.
665
00:26:22,205 --> 00:26:24,624
- Two for me, please.
- Hey, she wants two.
666
00:26:28,962 --> 00:26:29,962
Vacation.
667
00:26:31,214 --> 00:26:33,300
Double team! The double team!
668
00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,135
- Dude!
- [guys laughing]
669
00:26:35,218 --> 00:26:37,846
What are you guys doing? Marquise!
670
00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:38,805
Huh?
671
00:26:38,888 --> 00:26:41,099
I'm just splashing with my bros.
Splash bros.
672
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,519
Okay, well, when you're done
splashing with your bros,
673
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:48,231
your girlfriend will be over here,
in a bikini, all alone.
674
00:26:48,732 --> 00:26:50,567
- Don't do that, babe.
- Don't do what?
675
00:26:50,650 --> 00:26:52,569
You know,
every single time we go somewhere,
676
00:26:52,652 --> 00:26:54,654
you find some random bros to play with.
677
00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:57,115
Like your meditation bro, Josh from Ojai.
678
00:26:57,198 --> 00:26:59,075
Your yoga bro, Steven from Big Bear.
679
00:26:59,159 --> 00:27:00,535
I miss Steven so much.
680
00:27:01,077 --> 00:27:02,412
[man grunting]
681
00:27:02,537 --> 00:27:03,747
Wait a second.
682
00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:06,082
- Is Marquise bi?
- [Chloe] What?
683
00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:10,128
'Cause that would connect
a lot of dots for me.
684
00:27:10,545 --> 00:27:12,839
You think I'd be with him
if he was into guys?
685
00:27:12,922 --> 00:27:15,050
Do you really think any girl
would be cool with that?
686
00:27:15,508 --> 00:27:16,426
I would.
687
00:27:16,509 --> 00:27:17,844
No, you wouldn't.
688
00:27:17,927 --> 00:27:19,638
[laughing] You don't know what I would do.
689
00:27:19,721 --> 00:27:21,014
Yeah, I do.
690
00:27:21,222 --> 00:27:22,582
When you're sleeping with someone,
691
00:27:22,641 --> 00:27:25,644
you want them to be 100% satisfied
with what you're bringing to the table.
692
00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:29,773
Chloe, bisexuality and monogamy
are not mutually exclusive.
693
00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:32,400
- [laughs]
- What? What's so funny?
694
00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:34,277
Oh, it's not funny, it's hilarious.
695
00:27:34,402 --> 00:27:37,030
Everything you know about sex,
you learned from a TED Talk.
696
00:27:37,113 --> 00:27:39,407
Okay, Peggy Orenstein
is a highly regarded...
697
00:27:39,491 --> 00:27:42,911
Okay, no. I am done being lectured on sex
by a virgin.
698
00:27:49,793 --> 00:27:52,420
- Yo, what's up, dude?
- Nothing. Everything's chill.
699
00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:53,880
- How's it going?
- Good, good.
700
00:27:53,963 --> 00:27:56,025
I was actually gonna ask you
if I could run to my room
701
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:57,175
and grab some sunscreen?
702
00:27:57,258 --> 00:28:00,321
No, dude! What are you talking about?
You're supposed to be watching Marquise!
703
00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:02,597
I'm sorry, I'm just heating up.
I feel the sun.
704
00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:04,933
There's sunscreen
over by the fucking toilet. It's...
705
00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:06,601
in a pump or some shit.
706
00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:08,478
I don't know what SPF it is.
707
00:28:08,561 --> 00:28:10,956
What the fuck are you talking about, dude?
Just watch Marquise!
708
00:28:10,980 --> 00:28:12,148
Okay, yeah, no problem.
709
00:28:14,609 --> 00:28:16,212
[Kenya] Sometimes it seems like
being white
710
00:28:16,236 --> 00:28:18,863
is like the hardest fucking thing
in the world to be.
711
00:28:19,322 --> 00:28:20,657
Can't even be in the sun.
712
00:28:21,157 --> 00:28:24,452
Like, what kind of fucked up
evolutionary trait is that?
713
00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:26,204
The sun?
714
00:28:27,247 --> 00:28:30,417
How are there so many of them?
How've they lasted this long?
715
00:28:31,084 --> 00:28:32,085
On top?
716
00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:34,254
It's SPF 45, is that enough?
717
00:28:34,337 --> 00:28:37,173
Okay, yeah. No, this'll work.
They didn't have anything for your face?
718
00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:38,967
What the fuck, man? Fuck your face!
719
00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:40,802
- No, no. Fuck my face.
- This is important!
720
00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:42,321
- Yeah, no, I got this.
- Oh, my God.
721
00:28:42,345 --> 00:28:43,430
I got... I got you.
722
00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:46,867
- Are you reading the ingredients?
- No, no, not at all. No, it's just...
723
00:28:46,891 --> 00:28:49,394
- Just use it!
- Okay, I'll use it. Yep.
724
00:28:50,812 --> 00:28:52,105
This isn't going to work.
725
00:28:52,939 --> 00:28:55,191
This is going to be Aruba all over again.
726
00:28:55,275 --> 00:28:58,236
[R&B playing]
727
00:29:01,948 --> 00:29:05,160
[Drea] For my family,
day one had gone relatively smoothly.
728
00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:08,079
Dinner that night was the first time
we'd gathered for a meal
729
00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:09,873
in probably six months.
730
00:29:10,373 --> 00:29:13,001
So my dad took the opportunity
to make a toast,
731
00:29:13,084 --> 00:29:15,253
and by toast, I mean stand up
732
00:29:15,336 --> 00:29:18,131
and loudly remind us
that he's the reason for all of this.
733
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,467
[clinking]
734
00:29:21,050 --> 00:29:22,302
[Kenya] Thank you guys so much.
735
00:29:22,385 --> 00:29:25,680
Fuckin' love you guys, seriously.
Just wanted to say a couple words.
736
00:29:27,307 --> 00:29:29,934
As I... I'm reminded as I look out
737
00:29:30,518 --> 00:29:31,770
over this warm
738
00:29:32,145 --> 00:29:33,313
Atlantic Ocean.
739
00:29:33,646 --> 00:29:35,732
This is South...
we're in the South Pacific.
740
00:29:36,733 --> 00:29:38,026
It's the Pacific Ocean.
741
00:29:38,234 --> 00:29:39,652
Same thing. All I'm trying to...
742
00:29:39,736 --> 00:29:42,989
Not the same thing.
It's two different bodies of water.
743
00:29:43,406 --> 00:29:44,449
Opposite.
744
00:29:45,074 --> 00:29:47,660
Right. The point
I was trying to get at is Hawaii.
745
00:29:47,994 --> 00:29:50,914
You know, we are so close to Hawaii
and it just makes...
746
00:29:50,997 --> 00:29:52,457
Not that close to Hawaii.
747
00:29:52,540 --> 00:29:54,876
Not very close at all to Hawaii.
748
00:29:55,418 --> 00:29:57,879
- [Kenya] Right, I...
- [Joya] Same ocean, but...
749
00:29:57,962 --> 00:29:59,798
Beautiful, smart woman. You are right.
750
00:29:59,881 --> 00:30:01,201
Lawyer. That's why I married her.
751
00:30:01,257 --> 00:30:02,509
All I'm saying is Hawaii...
752
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:05,094
birthplace of Barack Obama.
753
00:30:05,178 --> 00:30:06,530
- [Joya sighing]
- [cell phone vibrating]
754
00:30:06,554 --> 00:30:08,114
[Kenya] That's what that reminds me of.
755
00:30:08,264 --> 00:30:11,392
And I think that, much like Barack,
who is considered a hero...
756
00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:13,603
- Check it!
- Whoa.
757
00:30:15,021 --> 00:30:17,357
- [Izzy] We're going to get that.
- Yeah. Totally.
758
00:30:18,107 --> 00:30:19,107
Not you.
759
00:30:19,609 --> 00:30:23,112
Hey, we might need him to take the fall
if we get busted.
760
00:30:23,196 --> 00:30:24,636
[Kenya continues toast indistinctly]
761
00:30:24,697 --> 00:30:26,699
I changed my mind. You can come.
762
00:30:27,158 --> 00:30:28,158
Sick!
763
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,871
And what it makes me think about,
when I think about Obama,
764
00:30:31,955 --> 00:30:33,248
is I start to reminisce,
765
00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:35,875
about what a great man he was.
We all miss him.
766
00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:38,119
- [phone vibrating]
- We miss him. I think about him...
767
00:30:39,337 --> 00:30:42,298
frolicking in those sugarcane fields,
768
00:30:42,632 --> 00:30:44,759
that beatific smile, you know, and I...
769
00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:46,094
[Peaches] Beatific smile?
770
00:30:46,177 --> 00:30:47,720
Barack has smoker's lip.
771
00:30:47,971 --> 00:30:50,598
Shit, that's why he was my president.
772
00:30:50,807 --> 00:30:55,019
You think I wasn't gonna vote for somebody
who smoke Newports and blunts?[laughs]
773
00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:56,729
Y'all get it, right?
774
00:30:57,981 --> 00:30:59,983
[Kenya] First of all, Peaches, very funny.
775
00:31:00,066 --> 00:31:02,026
But if you had even woken up
776
00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:04,487
on voting day early enough to vote,
777
00:31:04,821 --> 00:31:07,574
I'm not sure that the ballot you cast
would have counted
778
00:31:07,657 --> 00:31:09,534
because I'm pretty sure
779
00:31:09,617 --> 00:31:11,202
you're a felon.
780
00:31:11,286 --> 00:31:13,913
[Kenya] And secondly, that little outburst
781
00:31:13,997 --> 00:31:17,375
just earned you
what we call a separate check.
782
00:31:17,458 --> 00:31:19,210
Waiter, she's on her own tonight.
783
00:31:19,294 --> 00:31:21,004
So, enjoy that. [clicks tongue]
784
00:31:21,087 --> 00:31:21,921
It's fine.
785
00:31:22,005 --> 00:31:26,009
Anyway, when I think about Barack,
I remember Barack because I think that
786
00:31:26,509 --> 00:31:27,844
Barack was a hero.
787
00:31:28,636 --> 00:31:31,973
And, you know, you guys probably,
because I'm a husband and father,
788
00:31:32,181 --> 00:31:33,391
think of me as a hero.
789
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,978
At this point he'd had six Lava Flows.
790
00:31:37,312 --> 00:31:38,312
Minimum.
791
00:31:39,105 --> 00:31:40,607
But I'm just a man,
792
00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:44,152
and as a man
who happens to be the provider...
793
00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:46,696
sole provider of this family.
794
00:31:46,988 --> 00:31:49,198
And also in family, you learn to tolerate
795
00:31:49,699 --> 00:31:50,742
family.
796
00:31:51,409 --> 00:31:52,869
And people who are not family
797
00:31:52,952 --> 00:31:55,204
and probably will never hopefully be,
798
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:58,333
if God is a real thing in this world,
family.
799
00:31:58,416 --> 00:31:59,459
[phone vibrating]
800
00:31:59,542 --> 00:32:00,542
[Kenya] But...
801
00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:01,961
Barack Obama...
802
00:32:02,086 --> 00:32:05,298
You know my man, Sean?
He kinda looks like a young Junior Seau?
803
00:32:05,965 --> 00:32:07,967
He was telling me about a party
the locals set up
804
00:32:08,051 --> 00:32:10,094
that's supposed to be dope.
You wanna pull up later?
805
00:32:10,178 --> 00:32:12,615
Yeah, yeah, that sounds cool.
We can just dip out after dinner.
806
00:32:12,639 --> 00:32:15,183
- I might try to get some cardio in first.
- Okay.
807
00:32:15,516 --> 00:32:16,976
Where are we dipping out to?
808
00:32:17,060 --> 00:32:18,937
No, you are not dipping with us.
809
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:20,939
What? Why?
810
00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:23,358
Because I'm not in the mood
to babysit you tonight.
811
00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:25,818
Oh, you have to babysit me?
812
00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:27,904
Look, we're just all on different paths.
813
00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:29,446
Really?
814
00:32:29,572 --> 00:32:31,991
Because you're so grown-up
and so mature?
815
00:32:32,367 --> 00:32:33,910
College forces you to grow up.
816
00:32:34,202 --> 00:32:35,036
[phone vibrating]
817
00:32:35,119 --> 00:32:38,456
But Barack, like your heroic dad,
is just a man.
818
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,377
And as a man,
you learn very quickly that...
819
00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:43,378
[phone vibrating]
820
00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:45,505
- I'm sorry. Can you...
- [Joya] Yeah.
821
00:32:46,339 --> 00:32:49,219
- I don't need to get that. I'm all good.
- It's fine. They keep calling.
822
00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:50,620
- I'll get it.
- No, please don't.
823
00:32:51,844 --> 00:32:53,972
Hey, girl, hey! Bula!
824
00:32:54,055 --> 00:32:56,265
[Kenya] Look, Lavette.
We're in the middle of vacation.
825
00:32:56,349 --> 00:32:58,726
- Here we go.
- Can you please call us back?
826
00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:00,228
I know you're on vacation.
827
00:33:00,311 --> 00:33:03,773
I just spent half the afternoon
talking to the front desk manager
828
00:33:04,190 --> 00:33:05,566
begging him to hook you up.
829
00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:07,777
Why are you talking
to our hotel manager for us?
830
00:33:07,860 --> 00:33:11,698
Do you think I would let my girl
have some rinky-dink hotel room
831
00:33:11,781 --> 00:33:13,658
on the day of her book signing?
832
00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:15,368
- What?
- Kenya, come on. Stop it.
833
00:33:15,451 --> 00:33:18,538
All right, Lavette.
I'm just gonna call you back, okay? Bye.
834
00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:25,503
Book event?
835
00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:28,089
Please, don't do this right now. Okay?
836
00:33:28,172 --> 00:33:31,426
Don't do what? Act like
you're the horrible person that you are?
837
00:33:32,593 --> 00:33:33,720
You're an asshole.
838
00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:37,098
- [Kenya] I'm the asshole?
- Yeah. You're an asshole.
839
00:33:37,181 --> 00:33:38,181
Okay.
840
00:33:39,976 --> 00:33:42,895
[Drea] Remember when I said
vacation was a powder keg?
841
00:33:43,563 --> 00:33:45,148
It was at that moment,
842
00:33:45,231 --> 00:33:47,817
war had officially been declared.