1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:03,201
[ electricity crackling,
dog barking in distance ]
2
00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:05,670
[ dramatic music plays ]
3
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:08,140
Pleasure doing business
with you.
4
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:10,809
[ cat yowls ]
oh, nice cat.
5
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,877
She is not my cat.
Oh!
6
00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:15,013
Birdgirl: She's mine,
and she's a boy.
7
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,348
[ gun cocks ]
who are you?
8
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,283
I'm birdgirl.
9
00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:20,152
[ ringtone plays ]
ugh.
10
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,486
[ cellphone beeps,
ringtone stops ]
11
00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:22,955
Sort of in the middle
of something.
12
00:00:22,957 --> 00:00:24,422
[ chuckles ]
is it more important
13
00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:25,890
Than the all-staff
you're not at?
14
00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:27,425
Say hi to judy,
everyone.
15
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:28,427
All: Hi, judy.
16
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:30,228
Give me 10 minutes.
I got to bolt,
17
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:32,297
So I'll take the flash drive
and the money,
18
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,767
And in exchange,
I promise not to hurt you.
19
00:00:34,769 --> 00:00:36,100
[ laughter ]
20
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:37,902
[ grunts ]
[ gadget gun cocks ]
21
00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:41,439
Oops, forgot about me.
[ gun cocks ]
22
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:42,574
She didn't.
23
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:44,977
[ sir peter pants meows ]
I'm joking!
24
00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:46,378
[ sir peter pants shrieks ]
[ screams ]
25
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,113
[ electricity crackling ]
26
00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:49,581
[ grunts ] birdgirl!
27
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,850
[ glass shatters ]
get her off me!
28
00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:53,918
Birdgirl: ♪ oh, my god,
oh, my god, oh, my god,
oh, my god, oh, my god ♪
29
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,920
[ rapping ] ♪ who is the girl
that saves the world? ♪
30
00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:57,455
♪ hey! Hey!
31
00:00:57,457 --> 00:01:00,125
[ imitates fanfare ]
birdgirl!
32
00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:02,727
Meredith: Which is why
a lot of people have told me
33
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,596
I should be a slam poet.
34
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,398
[ man laughs ]
35
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,533
[ clattering ]
36
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,135
Birdgirl!
37
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:12,537
[ elevator door dings ]
38
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,539
[ elevator bell dings ]
39
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:17,009
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
Speaking of which,
40
00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:20,012
I know it feels like
time has passed us by here
41
00:01:20,014 --> 00:01:21,814
At sebben & sebben,
but it hasn't.
42
00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:25,417
We've just been waiting for
our time to launch our company
43
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:29,621
Into the future
with the internet!
44
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:31,023
All: [ murmuring ]
45
00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:33,091
How's this affect
the sandwich board teams?
46
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,560
Let's meet in my office
to discuss.
47
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:39,498
To show the world we're ethical,
progressive,
48
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,299
That we're turning things
around.
49
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:45,838
[ buffer whirring ]
and our first -- uh...
50
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:53,311
♪♪
51
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:57,115
I'd like to announce that...
52
00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:00,585
We're redesigning
the topple popple can.
53
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:03,522
I mean, look at it.
It's as wide as it is tall.
54
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,123
It's not a can. It's a...
55
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,259
Oh, my god, you're right.
It is.
56
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:11,463
Let's all applaud judy
for making bold suggestions!
57
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,465
You're here to announce
that e-mail thing.
58
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:16,334
Oh, right. Our first step
in modernizing the company,
59
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:17,870
I give you...
[ mouse clicks ]
60
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:21,339
It's mail time!
61
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:22,675
♪ ah-ba-dum-bum-bum
62
00:02:22,677 --> 00:02:24,543
Ugh. You can turn
that off, right?
63
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,745
Mm.
You can turn that off.
64
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:27,946
Man: Yeah!
[ laughter ]
65
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:31,750
[ computer chimes ]
it's mail time!
66
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:34,553
[ gasps ] my first e-mail.
♪ ah-ba-dum-bum-bum
67
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,889
[ mouse clicks,
up-tempo music plays ]
68
00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:39,558
Whoops! You got phished.
69
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,359
Now proceed with
this three-minute
70
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:43,395
Internet security
training video.
71
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,366
Now that we have a website, we
need to choose a photo of you.
72
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:49,968
That's right.
People will say,
73
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:51,503
"I wonder who leads
this company."
74
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:52,971
And they'll click
"leadership"...
75
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,306
Expecting
to see a man.
76
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,840
But they won't
see a man.
77
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,910
They'll see
"hands clasped,
78
00:02:57,912 --> 00:03:01,113
Slightly off desk, strong,
powerful" ceo
79
00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:04,583
Or "hands resting on desk"
ceo.
80
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,718
They're just like us.
81
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,253
Are those the only choices?
I look gross.
82
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:09,521
"hands off desk."
[ button clicks ]
83
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,257
It says, "yes, a woman
runs this company,
84
00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:13,525
But there's no reason
to panic.
85
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,927
She's got this."
hands clasped.
86
00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:16,461
[ button clicks ]
she's aware
87
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:18,530
How everyone expects her
to fail, wants her to fail.
88
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,532
But guess what?
She's not gonna fail.
89
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,467
Because she can't and
will communicate all that.
90
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:24,269
In a picture.
Guys,
91
00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:26,405
I really want to change
the topple popple can.
92
00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:28,540
You're the ceo.
Do it.
Really?
93
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,143
Well, after you
run it past the board.
Oh.
94
00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:32,677
[ electricity crackling ]
95
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:34,078
Ow!
96
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,480
[ panting ]
97
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:36,815
[ button clicking rapidly ]
98
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:38,483
Come on, come on!
99
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,884
[ elevator door dings ]
100
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,020
[ breathing heavily ]
101
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,822
[ sighs ]
102
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:46,491
Aah!
103
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,226
[ screams ]
104
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:51,029
Oh, father of light,
it's just a dream.
105
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,897
[ screaming ]
106
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,699
Ow!
107
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:56,034
[ panting ]
108
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,636
[ button clicking rapidly ]
109
00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,772
Come on, come on!
110
00:03:59,774 --> 00:04:00,973
[ elevator door dings ]
111
00:04:00,975 --> 00:04:02,374
[ screams ]
112
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,909
Oh, father of light,
it's just a dream.
113
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,312
But something still feels off.
114
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:10,649
[ gasps ] it's back!
115
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:12,785
So, turning our focus
to asia...
116
00:04:12,787 --> 00:04:16,054
Cut the [bleep] judy.
What aren't you telling us?
117
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:18,190
Everything...
I'm telling you.
118
00:04:18,192 --> 00:04:21,259
When you lie,
your forehead swells.
119
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,328
That's why I always
taught you at canasta.
120
00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:25,864
Oh, my god.
I look like an empanada.
121
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,599
What's that
in the folder?
122
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,201
What, this?
123
00:04:29,203 --> 00:04:32,070
Board members:
[ gasping, groaning ]
124
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,272
This is [bleep]!
125
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,942
Your dad designed that can
on a cocktail napkin.
126
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:41,346
People travel thousands of miles
to have sex with their sig-o's
127
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:43,415
Next to that statue
downstairs.
128
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,283
Look, I'm not saying --
they do?
129
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,820
Have you discussed this
with carlo?
130
00:04:47,822 --> 00:04:49,554
As topple brand manager,
131
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,824
I think he'd like
to have a say in this.
132
00:04:51,826 --> 00:04:54,626
This isn't the end.
It's a beginning.
133
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:58,030
The beefy-handed can still enjoy
a cold topple popple,
134
00:04:58,032 --> 00:05:01,633
And now
so can everyone else.
135
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:02,835
[ horn honks ]
136
00:05:02,837 --> 00:05:04,302
When I first started here,
137
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:08,106
Your father made a project
of me -- me,
138
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:10,242
A dog from down there.
139
00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:13,111
Who was I to walk among giants?
140
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:17,182
But your dad saw something.
Know what he told me, judy?
141
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,918
"don't touch the can.
142
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:24,056
Never touch the can,
not even to drink from it."
143
00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:26,458
Maybe it was
because I was a dog.
144
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:29,594
I've made up my mind. In fact,
I just approved the new design.
145
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:30,595
[bleep]
146
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:32,130
You want to do this?
Go ahead.
147
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,398
Call the factory.
148
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,733
Call the factory
your father built
149
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:37,870
To make one thing --
the topple popple can --
150
00:05:37,872 --> 00:05:41,540
And tell him
you want to change it.
151
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:44,142
[ country music plays ]
152
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:46,078
♪♪
153
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,679
[ elevator bell dings ]
154
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,348
Charlie,
what is all this?
155
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,817
Quick on-camera thing,
all softball.
156
00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:54,286
Focus on the future.
157
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:59,023
We're here with judy ken sebben,
ceo of sebben & sebben
158
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:02,494
And the custodian of beloved
soda pop topple popple...
159
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:06,631
Until today, when she,
a female ceo, killed it.
160
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,968
No! The product's
not going anywhere.
161
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:13,906
It's just being repackaged.
We're making the cans slimmer.
162
00:06:13,908 --> 00:06:15,173
Why would you do that?
163
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,242
So people can pick it up.
164
00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:18,710
Women people,
right?
165
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:22,847
But only the manliest drinkers
can handle topple.
166
00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:25,183
Both: Pop me another popple,
farmer phil.
167
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,652
[ chuckles ]
people love the can.
168
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,588
I mean, why are you
destroying that?
169
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,991
Uh, sebben & sebben
will always honor its past.
170
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,260
[ bulldozer beeping ]
aah!
171
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:38,163
[ baby crying ]
172
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,999
[ keyboard clacking ]
sebben & sebben
173
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,534
Will always honor its past.
174
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,336
Topple nation:
[ slurps ]
175
00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:45,671
[ ax scrapes, whips ]
176
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:51,476
Dr. Sheila: Paul, when I saw you
on the appointment list,
177
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,478
I was a little surprised.
178
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,948
I haven't seen you
since you were...9?
179
00:06:55,950 --> 00:06:57,549
It's been a while, hasn't it?
[ chuckles ]
180
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,551
So, what brings you in
today?
181
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:02,287
Well, I need a [bleep] check
from someone who's been there.
182
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,488
[ belt rattling, zipper opens ]
183
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,490
It's a miracle,
dr. Sheila.
184
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:07,760
My foreskin's back!
185
00:07:07,762 --> 00:07:10,895
That's impossible.
I snipped you mysel--
186
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:13,165
Oh!
187
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,833
It's beautiful.
188
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:17,369
I know. But in a way,
it does make emotional sense.
189
00:07:17,371 --> 00:07:18,637
[ muffled groaning ]
190
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,639
Foreskins
are highly sensitive,
191
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:23,842
And I'm a person who's always
deeply felt things,
192
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:25,644
And not just in my penis.
193
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,980
[ screams ]
194
00:07:27,982 --> 00:07:31,049
[ heart beating ]
195
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,317
[ slurps ]
196
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,319
This company's been asleep
at the wheel,
197
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,721
And now we're finally
doing something.
198
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,991
What's next?
Let's burn some [bleep] down.
199
00:07:38,993 --> 00:07:41,794
I should take off my bra.
This stuff is really good.
200
00:07:41,796 --> 00:07:43,996
Why didn't anyone tell me?
[ slurps ]
201
00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:46,465
[ sighs ] gillian, you've been
a big ally in this,
202
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,333
And there haven't been
a lot of allies.
203
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,935
I've been an ally. I've had your
[bleep] back through this.
204
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:54,339
Which is why I'm putting you
both in charge
205
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:55,407
Of, uh, the rebrand.
206
00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:58,210
Ooh, my head.
This stuff is rat poison.
207
00:07:58,212 --> 00:08:00,345
I'm sorry.
Teaming us up?
208
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,146
We'll do a ton
of premiums.
209
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,750
Um, and I have a tiktok content
strategy locked and loaded.
210
00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:07,619
[ screaming ]
211
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:08,821
Ugh!
212
00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:10,823
[ static hissing ]
we got another one.
213
00:08:10,825 --> 00:08:12,957
Another one?
It's been happening
all morning.
214
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:15,560
The last one was dressed
like an actual can.
215
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,229
We got
a vintage topple tee.
216
00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:20,632
I warned you, anytime you
[bleep] with a classic product,
217
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,234
There's gonna be some blowback.
[ zipper closes ]
218
00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:24,036
You didn't warn me.
[ grunts ]
219
00:08:24,038 --> 00:08:25,970
Well, I should have.
220
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:26,905
[ door closes ]
221
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:29,041
[ eerie music plays,
heart beating ]
222
00:08:29,043 --> 00:08:30,509
Dr. Sheila: [ groaning ]
223
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,643
Don't be alarmed, paul.
224
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,912
I know this is a lot
to process.
225
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:34,979
Talking foreskin?
226
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,915
Oh, not really.
What's your name?
227
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,717
It's graham.
Oh, pleasure.
228
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,386
Uh, there's a good chance
you're killing dr. Sheila.
229
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:42,855
She's fine.
I just knocked her out
230
00:08:42,857 --> 00:08:45,390
So we can have
a man-to-skin conversation.
231
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:48,460
Oh, that makes sense.
Question -- why me, graham?
232
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:51,596
Why here? Why me,
why here, why now?
233
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:54,332
I belong to an ancient people
of sensitivity and feeling
234
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:55,868
Who once thundered
by the millions
235
00:08:55,870 --> 00:08:58,203
Across the plains
of what you call north america.
236
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:01,273
But when, through a spyglass,
we spotted strange ships
237
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:03,608
On the horizon,
we sensed danger.
238
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,944
We knew these men
would prioritize inhibitions
239
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:08,080
Over the mystical range
of full feeling.
240
00:09:08,082 --> 00:09:09,548
Well, I sure don't.
241
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:10,949
Which is why I'm here.
242
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,686
I'm super active in
the genital-autonomy movement.
243
00:09:13,688 --> 00:09:15,353
We meet at the church
thursdays.
244
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,690
I have a few bear claws,
me and a few other intactivists.
245
00:09:17,692 --> 00:09:21,426
Oh, paul -- sweet,
sweet, sensitive paul.
246
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:22,761
You're just like
your father.
247
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,697
[ gasps ]
you knew my dad?
248
00:09:24,699 --> 00:09:26,164
Oh!
249
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,566
[ foreskin squeaks, snaps ]
250
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,568
[ groaning, gags ]
251
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,436
That thing
attacked me!
252
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:33,972
Security!
Aim for the [bleep]!
253
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,308
No, wait! No, wait,
please stop!
254
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:39,111
[ gunshots ]
255
00:09:39,113 --> 00:09:41,113
Graham! Graham, wait!
256
00:09:41,115 --> 00:09:43,248
Foreskin gra-a-a-a-a-ham!
257
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,849
[ foreskin fluttering ]
258
00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:45,850
[ gunshots ]
259
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:49,187
[ keys clacking,
mouse clicking ]
260
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,655
[ computer warbles ]
261
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:53,392
It's mail time!
262
00:09:53,394 --> 00:09:56,128
[ gasps ] my second e-mail.
♪ ah-ba-dum-bum-bum
263
00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:57,462
♪ ba-ba-dum
264
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,998
Man: Firewall breach! Ddos!
265
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,535
We have your information --
judy's information.
266
00:10:03,537 --> 00:10:05,537
Contact you at 2:00,
topple nation.
267
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:09,741
Ooh! [ slurps ]
268
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,076
Topple popple.
269
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,878
A new day is here
270
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,547
Where women and children
and the terminally ill
271
00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:20,018
Can finally raise a cold one
and join the topple team.
272
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,020
Plus, apparently,
we have a tag line
273
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:23,621
That I may or may not
have heard.
274
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,223
Get your hand around it.
275
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,025
Hadn't heard that.
I kind of like it.
276
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,760
"get your hand around it."
277
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,228
[ speaks indistinctly ]
278
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,163
[ rock music plays ]
279
00:10:31,165 --> 00:10:34,032
Who wants to see
the new t-shirt design?
280
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:37,169
We have to assume they've seen
everything, know everything.
281
00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:39,838
Evie, what's the plan?
How should I know?
282
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,774
You're 10, [bleep] it.
You know this stuff.
283
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:45,110
So, I cruised the topple boards,
and I organized
284
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:48,046
All the online hate comments
about judy into categories.
285
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:49,981
There's "weird,"
"weird-violent,"
286
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:54,052
"weird-sexual," angry-weird,"
"angry-sexual," and "funny."
287
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:57,923
My assessment is that judy needs
to get the [bleep] out of dodge.
288
00:10:57,925 --> 00:10:59,725
Where you ask?
To my safe house
289
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:01,259
For people
who've been canceled online.
290
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,195
Please charge that.
Remember the racist grandpa
291
00:11:03,197 --> 00:11:05,597
Who pushed the 7-year-old
off the pony?
292
00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:08,534
No, you don't, because
he's in my safe house.
293
00:11:08,536 --> 00:11:09,735
Help!
294
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:10,936
Your cot's
waiting for you.
295
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,670
[ cellphone rings ]
296
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,540
It's 2:00.
This is judy.
297
00:11:14,542 --> 00:11:16,274
Topple nation:
[ distorted voice ]
this is topple nation.
298
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,344
He's got cancer.
What do you want?
299
00:11:18,346 --> 00:11:21,012
One, publicly admit
you made a horrible mistake
300
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,748
In changing
the topple can.
No, I won't.
301
00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,750
Two, admit that
you are unqualified
302
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:27,819
To lead the company
your father built from nothing.
No, I won't.
303
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:31,156
Three, apologize
for being a dumb [bleep].
304
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:34,426
Nobody says that
to my judy!
305
00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:35,894
[ clears throat ]
306
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,829
I'm not apologizing,
and I'm not changing the can.
307
00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,164
We hoped you'd say that.
308
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:41,567
We just published your
phone number online.
309
00:11:41,569 --> 00:11:43,168
[ cellphone rings, beeps ]
balls: Judy,
310
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:46,638
This is balls of gordo and balls
on power 101.
311
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,173
Permission
to speak on air.
312
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,175
[ cellphone beeps ]
release whatever you want.
313
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:51,843
[ cellphone beeps ]
mer, gillian,
314
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,311
Continue
the topple launch.
315
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,313
Jude,
you know I support you,
316
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,783
But I don't want to get murdered
over a soda can.
317
00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:59,184
Which is why
brian's joining you.
318
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,786
If anyone's getting murdered,
it's him.
319
00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:02,520
You two
use the hate posts
320
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:03,721
To track down
topple nation.
321
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,257
A walk?
322
00:12:05,259 --> 00:12:07,059
Come on, kid.
323
00:12:07,061 --> 00:12:08,927
♪♪
324
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:13,665
[ cheering ]
325
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:16,334
Welcome to prepucian.
326
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:20,606
I have to say, in man's world,
I felt out of place,
327
00:12:20,608 --> 00:12:23,408
But here, I belong.
328
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,610
As did your father.
329
00:12:24,612 --> 00:12:26,211
Oh, please tell me
about him.
330
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,013
When they take a baby away
for circumcision...
331
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,681
Yes.
...We offer money
332
00:12:29,683 --> 00:12:31,749
In exchange for
the child's foreskin.
333
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:32,951
I did not know that.
334
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:34,486
Those who won't sell
are our hope
335
00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:36,021
For a common peace.
[ gasps ]
336
00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:37,956
And my dad
didn't sell.
337
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,291
Oh, he sold.
Okay.
338
00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:41,693
For about 7 bucks
in today's dollars.
339
00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:43,361
Uh-huh.
He felt guilty
340
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,363
And spent months
wandering in the wilderness
341
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:48,500
Until we found him, half wild,
and nursed him back to health.
342
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:49,835
He became one with us.
343
00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:52,438
Many of us spent time
on his penis.
344
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,105
[ cheering and applause ]
345
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:57,976
Isn't this just the best?
Our first product launch.
346
00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,979
Yo, dudes, it's the
mother[bleep] topple girls.
347
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:04,049
Okay, we're not
the topple girls, are we?
348
00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:06,584
We're gonna sell
so much soda today.
349
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:07,919
[ pop! ]
350
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,387
Allow me
to introduce you
351
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:11,256
To the foreskin
who saved your father.
352
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:12,590
Paul, this is miriam.
353
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:13,992
Miriam: It's a pleasure
to meet you, paul.
354
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:16,394
Oh, thank you for everything,
miriam,
355
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,930
Especially for
a satisfying explanation
356
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:21,133
Of why my father
walked away from us.
357
00:13:21,135 --> 00:13:24,002
What's that?
It's a transmitter.
It's like 6g.
358
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:26,004
Hmm.
And that's an altar
for the sacrifice.
359
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,806
Oh. What are you sacrificing?
Aah!
360
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,342
Oh!
361
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:35,013
What's going on?
Graham! Ugh!
362
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,682
Your father was going to be
the bridge
363
00:13:36,684 --> 00:13:38,550
Between humans
and foreskins,
364
00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:41,353
Two cultures united in love
and sensuality,
365
00:13:41,355 --> 00:13:44,022
And you came along and ruined
everything by being born!
366
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,957
Aah!
I know this smell.
367
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:48,560
And now you
shall die!
368
00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:50,496
Live.
On instagram.
369
00:13:50,498 --> 00:13:51,963
[ keys clack ]
370
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,500
[ mouse clicks ]
371
00:13:54,502 --> 00:13:56,768
He's released your
bank-account info
372
00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:59,571
And your
social security number.
373
00:13:59,573 --> 00:14:03,509
Oh, jude,
he just released your sex tape.
374
00:14:03,511 --> 00:14:06,111
Why didn't you just tell me
you had a sex tape?
375
00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:07,445
Because there is
no sex tape.
376
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,515
Then what do they think
they have?
377
00:14:09,517 --> 00:14:11,717
Oh! [ laughs ]
378
00:14:11,719 --> 00:14:14,186
Glenn, we're six hours in
to the leaked
379
00:14:14,188 --> 00:14:17,389
Judy ken sebben video,
and there's still no sex.
380
00:14:17,391 --> 00:14:20,458
So I guess we can call it
a no-sex tape.
381
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,194
I set up a webcam
382
00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:24,863
So I could check on sir peter
pants when I'm not home.
383
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,532
Lots of cat, no sex.
384
00:14:26,534 --> 00:14:29,735
This is a billion times worse
than a sex tape.
385
00:14:29,737 --> 00:14:32,538
Maybe I didn't have my coffee
strong enough this morning.
386
00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:34,072
I don't know. I mean,
387
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,542
This is just a waste of time
for the viewers.
388
00:14:36,544 --> 00:14:37,943
I'm sick of this [bleep].
389
00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:40,678
Get me a wireless account
and a laptop.
390
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,214
[ doors whirring ]
391
00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:44,750
You know, we got to
get you one of these.
392
00:14:44,752 --> 00:14:46,418
[ up-tempo music plays ]
393
00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:48,821
[ fans cheering ]
394
00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:52,224
Where in the [bleep]
is brian?
395
00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:54,492
He's the one who's supposed to
be murdered!
396
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:59,831
♪♪
397
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:03,101
[ engine revving ]
398
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,770
[ keyboard clacking ]
399
00:15:04,772 --> 00:15:09,041
Uh, shouldn't you have scanned
that laptop for the topple virus
400
00:15:09,043 --> 00:15:11,910
Before giving it to jessica
from accounting?
401
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:14,313
Charlie...
402
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,715
...Check your wi-fi.
403
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,418
[ cellphone beeps ]
it's dead.
404
00:15:20,588 --> 00:15:23,922
[ chuckles ]
you're a genius.
405
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:31,263
♪♪
406
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,501
Graham, why?
407
00:15:36,804 --> 00:15:39,405
[ high-pitched groaning ]
408
00:15:39,407 --> 00:15:42,608
We now summon
instagram stories.
409
00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:44,943
What the [bleep]
410
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,745
Ow!
411
00:15:46,747 --> 00:15:48,747
Hey, guys, it's miriam.
412
00:15:48,749 --> 00:15:51,149
I know I was gonna show you how
to do a two-minute eyebrow hack,
413
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,818
But I thought
I'd switch things up.
414
00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:56,288
So today we're gonna sacrifice
a real, live human.
415
00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:59,091
Firewall breach, ddos.
416
00:15:59,093 --> 00:16:01,359
Ugh! What the?
We have your information.
417
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:03,695
Someone check the router.
[ cries ]
418
00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:08,566
Aah!
419
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:09,767
[ breathing heavily ]
420
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:14,372
Aah! Aah! Aah!
421
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,041
[ groans ]
422
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:18,844
[ radio chatter ]
423
00:16:18,846 --> 00:16:21,647
[ siren wailing ]
[ gasps ]
424
00:16:21,649 --> 00:16:24,182
Don't kill me, graham!
425
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,452
Hush, man, hush.
I can't kill you.
426
00:16:26,454 --> 00:16:28,320
It's not in my character.
[ dogs barking ]
427
00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:30,922
If I get us out of here, you
have to help me with something.
428
00:16:30,924 --> 00:16:32,124
Deal?
Deal.
429
00:16:32,126 --> 00:16:34,660
Slap it.
Ow.
430
00:16:34,662 --> 00:16:37,395
How'd the launch go?
431
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:40,265
It was...
Pbht! [ babbles ]
432
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:42,734
[ telephone rings ]
birdvan phone.
433
00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:44,402
Topple nation:
[ distorted voice ]
well-done, judy.
434
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,338
How'd you know we were calling
from a landline?
435
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:49,341
You like old-fashioned soda.
Wasn't rocket science.
436
00:16:49,343 --> 00:16:52,144
Is that a phone line,
in a van?
437
00:16:52,146 --> 00:16:53,545
Only line that works
right now.
438
00:16:53,547 --> 00:16:55,814
We used the virus to wreck
the city network.
439
00:16:55,816 --> 00:16:58,283
Oh, if you thought the no-sex
tape was embarrassing,
440
00:16:58,285 --> 00:17:01,619
Just wait till we release
your ceo head shots.
441
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:02,620
Gross!
442
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,890
And all of
your medical records,
443
00:17:04,892 --> 00:17:06,958
Including gynecological.
444
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,294
[ laughs ]
445
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:12,230
Got it!
It's only a couple miles away.
446
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,700
[ country music playing ]
447
00:17:14,702 --> 00:17:19,304
♪♪
448
00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:23,175
Hey, maybe we should
check these people out.
449
00:17:23,177 --> 00:17:24,642
[ music stops ]
450
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:25,911
Yes?
451
00:17:25,913 --> 00:17:28,046
You like topple popple,
do you?
452
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:30,849
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is that a crime?
453
00:17:30,851 --> 00:17:32,184
Not yet.
454
00:17:32,186 --> 00:17:34,786
Those are some real meat hooks
you got there --
455
00:17:34,788 --> 00:17:37,055
Big and beefy.
456
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,256
[ door slams ]
457
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,791
[ tires screech ]
458
00:17:39,793 --> 00:17:40,992
[ van door opens ]
459
00:17:40,994 --> 00:17:43,195
Birdgirl!
460
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:48,333
Guys, we've got
the wrong address.
461
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:52,905
[ singing operatically ]
462
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:56,942
Oh!
463
00:17:56,944 --> 00:17:59,811
Look, let me do this.
464
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:02,548
I understand this guy.
Let me bring him out alone.
465
00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:03,749
You've got five minutes.
466
00:18:03,751 --> 00:18:06,017
Nobody move!
467
00:18:06,019 --> 00:18:08,820
Hello? Hello?
468
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:10,889
Topple nation:
[ distorted voice ] it's
just me here, I'm afraid.
469
00:18:10,891 --> 00:18:12,891
[ gopro whining ]
470
00:18:12,893 --> 00:18:14,226
I know how you feel.
471
00:18:14,228 --> 00:18:16,294
You don't know anything
about me.
472
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:19,031
Disaffected, irrelevant.
473
00:18:19,033 --> 00:18:21,767
Dog with bucket hat:
Brian, brian!
[ pounding on door ]
474
00:18:21,769 --> 00:18:23,835
It's not what you think!
475
00:18:23,837 --> 00:18:26,372
The world changes,
but you're the same.
476
00:18:26,374 --> 00:18:27,973
Brian!
477
00:18:27,975 --> 00:18:30,508
Nobody move!
Show us your hands.
478
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,111
You're a...Woman?
479
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:37,049
And your hands,
they're magnificent.
480
00:18:37,051 --> 00:18:38,984
Step away
from the mouse pad.
481
00:18:38,986 --> 00:18:41,587
[ normal voice ]
make me.
482
00:18:41,589 --> 00:18:46,191
[groaning] I had a whole spiel
thinking you'd be a guy.
483
00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:47,993
Not a guy.
[ groans ]
484
00:18:47,995 --> 00:18:53,398
Just a lady [groaning] with
big paws who likes her soda.
485
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,602
Why are you wearing
a gopro?
486
00:18:56,604 --> 00:18:58,136
Legal reasons.
487
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:00,272
[ birds chirping ]
488
00:19:00,274 --> 00:19:02,540
Helen and I were together
37 years,
489
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:05,277
But then my host body, david,
fell ill and passed away.
490
00:19:05,279 --> 00:19:06,878
We could no longer
be with her.
491
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,416
She was the love of my life,
helen, and she's in that house.
492
00:19:10,418 --> 00:19:13,952
Wait. When you said david,
did you mean --
493
00:19:13,954 --> 00:19:15,553
Yes, paul.
Your father.
494
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:18,356
[ chuckles ] and when you say
house, you mean --
495
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:19,891
A house.
Aha.
496
00:19:19,893 --> 00:19:23,295
[ doorbell rings "the jetsons"
theme ]
497
00:19:23,297 --> 00:19:25,697
Oh, I don't like this.
What's going on in there?
498
00:19:25,699 --> 00:19:28,300
Let's just see, shall we?
I think we shall.
499
00:19:28,302 --> 00:19:30,702
Brian?
1, 2, 1, 2.
500
00:19:30,704 --> 00:19:32,638
[ groaning ] it's been
five minutes. Help!
501
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,907
You're the one
in the costume.
502
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:38,043
[ gagging ]
503
00:19:38,045 --> 00:19:39,511
[ grunts ] ow!
504
00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:43,114
Shouldn't you be on my side
[groaning] rooting for me?
505
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:45,784
I'm all for women ceos
506
00:19:45,786 --> 00:19:51,389
[groaning] as long as they
keep their hands...
507
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:54,360
Off my cans.
508
00:19:55,796 --> 00:19:57,996
You need any help
in there?
509
00:19:57,998 --> 00:19:59,931
No. We got this.
510
00:19:59,933 --> 00:20:02,400
[ siren chirps ]
511
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:05,937
[ sighs ] it's over.
Topple is poppled.
512
00:20:05,939 --> 00:20:08,674
The important thing is all your
ladies' medical secrets
are safe.
513
00:20:08,676 --> 00:20:12,610
You're welcome.
Um, why is a picture
of my hooha trending?
514
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,812
Probably because
I cloned all our files,
515
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,614
Sent them to all
the major news outlets,
516
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:19,084
And told them to release it
if they didn't hear from me.
517
00:20:19,086 --> 00:20:20,352
It's called a failsafe.
518
00:20:20,354 --> 00:20:23,489
It's in every spy movie,
and it works.
519
00:20:23,491 --> 00:20:25,557
You send it
to the press...
520
00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:28,026
If you want it
to get out...
521
00:20:28,028 --> 00:20:29,361
Not keep it a secret...
522
00:20:29,363 --> 00:20:32,631
You [bleep] idiot.
523
00:20:34,368 --> 00:20:37,635
[ classical music plays ]
524
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:42,040
Yes, david was my one and only.
I miss him horribly.
525
00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:45,177
Well, what if you could share
a piece of david again,
526
00:20:45,179 --> 00:20:48,046
If just for a moment?
527
00:20:48,048 --> 00:20:49,181
[ gasps ]
528
00:20:49,183 --> 00:20:50,582
Helen!
529
00:20:51,985 --> 00:20:53,719
Graham!
530
00:20:53,721 --> 00:20:55,253
[ gasps ]
531
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:58,724
Oh, I somehow wish
I could step away.
532
00:20:58,726 --> 00:21:03,261
Well, we should probably
be a-moseying down the road.
533
00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:05,864
[ chuckles ] what's going on
with you two?
534
00:21:05,866 --> 00:21:08,800
You are about to have
the best half-hour of your life.
535
00:21:08,802 --> 00:21:10,668
[ laughing maniacally ]
536
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:15,240
I don't know why I'm laughing.
[ laughs ] new feelings.
537
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:19,677
Stay here with us,
live as a thrupple.
538
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:21,413
There's absolutely nothing
for you out there.
539
00:21:21,415 --> 00:21:24,149
No, I must go.
I have values.
540
00:21:24,151 --> 00:21:26,952
I'm not gutter trash
like you two.
541
00:21:26,954 --> 00:21:31,156
But through all this,
I somehow feel changed.
542
00:21:31,158 --> 00:21:38,296
Now I have a responsibility to
bring feeling back to mankind!
543
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:41,734
It's my power now!
544
00:21:43,771 --> 00:21:48,706
New topple popple slim cans,
topple popple classic cans.
545
00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:51,309
If you a fake fan,
get you that new
546
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:53,445
Topple popple slim can light.
547
00:21:53,447 --> 00:21:55,713
If you a day-one real one,
548
00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:57,515
Stick with that
topple popple classic.
549
00:21:57,517 --> 00:22:01,453
Sure, that slim-can topple
new new is 50% cheaper.
550
00:22:01,455 --> 00:22:04,656
But that classic can
is 50% realer.
551
00:22:04,658 --> 00:22:07,859
Both:
Get your hand around that!
552
00:22:07,861 --> 00:22:09,395
[ rapping ] ♪ who is the girl
that saves the world? ♪
553
00:22:09,397 --> 00:22:11,396
♪ hey! Birdgirl!
554
00:22:11,398 --> 00:22:13,131
♪ wings of fire,
unique like pearls ♪
555
00:22:13,133 --> 00:22:14,733
♪ hey! Birdgirl!
556
00:22:14,735 --> 00:22:16,201
♪ who's the one
they came to see? ♪
557
00:22:16,203 --> 00:22:17,936
♪ hey! Birdgirl!
558
00:22:17,938 --> 00:22:19,537
♪ ultra fierce
and so unique ♪
559
00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:21,273
♪ hey! Birdgirl!
560
00:22:21,275 --> 00:22:22,874
♪ hey! Birdgirl!
561
00:22:22,876 --> 00:22:24,876
♪ hey! Hey!
562
00:22:24,878 --> 00:22:28,079
[ imitating fanfare ]
birdgirl!
563
00:22:28,081 --> 00:22:32,417
♪♪