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I like this.
I like being friends with you. This is fun.
Come on. Come on.
What? You like this?
- Yes! - You don't like being in a relationship,
- like an official relationship? - Mm... yeah, I did not say that.
Um, I think it's best we don't talk about that.
- We focus on now, me and you. - Okay, let's talk about now.
- Okay. - Now is I don't care about labels.
I don't care what we call ourselves, okay? It's...
No, Nate, it's not about labels. It's just like I don't know
where I'm gonna be a year from now. So...
- What, are you quitting your job? - Maybe.
Maybe I'll, you know, teach English abroad.
- Or I'll join the Peace Corps. - The Peace Corps?
Yes, yes. They need IT people just like everybody else.
Look, I just don't know where I'm gonna be a year from now.
And so I don't want you waiting around for me. It's just not fair to you.
- I don't care. Okay? What I care about is... - Oh.
- Hey, what's up? - Hey.
- You guys? - Yeah? You okay?
You guys? Josh. Josh!
I'm sorry.
I thought you were shitting in there!
Oh, my God!
What? What'd I miss?
Uh, well, we were just saying, um,
if it's a girl, we were thinking of calling her Sarah.
- After Aunt Sarah. - Oh, my God!
- What do you think? - I love it!
- You do? - Yes!
Oh, I think you have the wrong table.
Oh, no, no, you have the right table.
The two glasses are for the gentlemen.
- Jess! No! - Yes, yes, yes.
You can show solidarity with me starting tomorrow.
Tonight we're celebrating your... this isn't about me.
- Yes, please, pour, pour. - Okay, fine, fine, fine.
- But tonight we are paying. - We'll see about that.
No, if she tries to give you her credit card, please do not take it.
No, don't rope her into this! I'm so sorry, we're the worst.
- You're fine. - Oh, but you know what? Um...
I will have a Diet Coke. I'm not drinking tonight.
- Pregnancy. - Oh, my God! Congratulations!
What? Oh, oh, she's not gonna tell anyone.
- Look, don't tell anyone. - I'm very trustworthy.
No, no, I just don't want to tell anyone until, like, the third trimester.
Okay. You know what? It's my bad. We can wait until the kid's first birthday
to tell people, it'll be your call. I'm sorry.
- It's fine. I'm sorry. - This is very sweet.
My siblings would never include me in this type of thing.
- Oh, they... - We're actually not siblings.
They're the new parents. I'm just the vessel.
Ew! No. Oh, my gosh. We are not using the word "vessel."
- That's a little... - Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
You guys, dessert's gonna be on us.
- No! You don't have to do that! - You don't have to do that.
- No, seriously. I'm an asshole. - No, you're totally fine!
So they're not paying you?
First of all, it is illegal to pay for surrogacy in New York.
Second of all, no, that would be weird!
It's funny, I'm already getting comments from people saying I'm doing it for money.
I'm like, no, are you crazy? There's so many other ways to make money.
- Hm... - I'm doing this because I want to.
And because Josh and Aaron deserve...
- So was I the last to know? - No. No, no. Um...
When I say "people," I mean Jocelyn.
Before I called you and Dad, I talked to Jocelyn, that's it.
And they are reimbursing me for every copay,
every piece of maternity wear, every prenatal vitamin, even food.
- It's all in the contract. - Good.
I mean, it's not a contract, it's an agreement.
But we're being very by-the-book. We each have lawyers.
- Yeah, and they're gonna be great dads. - Okay.
- And you're feeling good? - Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
I feel great. I have no nausea.
- Do you know how lucky you are? - Yes.
I couldn't stop throwing up.
My morning sickness was so bad
I was worried the two of you weren't getting enough nutrients.
I know, Mom, you've told us a million times.
- Yeah. - Well...
Now, as life-changing as a fiction writing class can be,
we want to offer, um, a broader range of skills
to help these women in the job market once they've been released.
Now, the largest roadblock to that...
- It isn't allowed in prison. - Yes, exactly.
Um, so that's why we're interested in hiring a team of developers
to customize software that would simulate the internet.
- Hm. - Which we currently don't have the budget for.
I follow. I was thinking, why do you need us?
Tell me more.
Absolutely. And I've tried to partner with them,
and it's just not something that they're interested in.
They only serve men and this is already a male-dominated field.
But you know what? We got really close. That's great.
Next time we'll be closer. I mean, there are so many other potential donors
- who'd be into this. - Jess, Jess. I'm so sorry, but this is not your job.
I think this is a good opportunity for you to refocus.
This project is a great, great idea,
but I think for now it's best if we focus on the basics of what we do.
We're not where I'd like us to be in terms of the gala.
- Okay. - Have you sent out the "save the date" email?
I will do that right now.
Yeah.
- Hey, we can just order food. - No, this'll take me like two seconds.
Okay, just don't make it like a whole production.
- Oh, some people just say, "Thank you, Jess." - Thank you, Jess.
- Huh. - Hey, how's, um, Nate?
- Um... - Oh, okay. You don't have to talk about it
- if you don't want to. - No, no, you're fine. Um...
He clearly wants to get married, and I don't think it's that kind of a relationship.
- No, I think he's great. - He is great, he's just boring.
You don't understand, babe. Jess is only attracted to emotionally unavailable men.
Uh, false. I'm also attracted to men who live in different cities from me.
Yeah, right, right. Geographically unavailable men.
How far along are you?
- I am 32 weeks. - Oh, my God!
- Congratulations! - Thank you. What about you?
- Um, ten weeks. - Oh.
But it's not mine.
Biologically... biologically it is.
But I...
I'm a surrogate for my two best friends.
Oh. Wow. That's really cool.
- I could never do that. - Oh, you know, people say that all the time.
But I'm like, no, I think you could.
I mean, I don't know you. But I feel like anyone could.
Wow.
- Sorry. - No, we're totally fine.
We are gonna be late.
The test came back positive for Down syndrome. Trisomy 21.
As I mentioned, the test is 99 percent accurate.
False positives are extremely rare.
I have a genetic counselor I can recommend who can guide you through your options.
I can also give you the information of a great community center
if you want to learn more about Down syndrome.
There's nothing you did that caused this,
and we have no reason to believe at this point that the fetus isn't perfectly healthy.
It just has an extra chromosome.
If you want to get pregnant again in the future,
we have no reason to believe that you're any more likely
than anyone else to have another child with Down syndrome.
Now, do you have any questions for me?
Josh, you okay in there?
Josh?
- How you doing? - Hey.
You know you've been in there for like 45 minutes, right?
- Oh. I have? - Yeah. You're gonna be pruney.
Aaron's on his way back. Do you want to get something for dinner?
- I'm not hungry. - Well, you have to eat something.
Do you think I came across, like...?
What?
Like I actively wanted him to go to work
because I didn't want him around today?
- No, no. - I just don't want to be a burden.
I feel like I've been so much to...
No. Hey, you're not a burden.
I just, like, I want him to be able to process,
you know, without feeling like he's... you know.
Yeah.
Oh...
- Hi. - Hi.
- Hey, can we talk later? - What's wrong?
Nothing. Uh...
Josh, are you there?
We can talk later. Just tell me why you're upset.
Hey, Jodi, this is Jess.
Jess. Hi, dear. What's going on?
We just got some news today.
I hate the lines. I think they need to be more prominent.
- Okay. Sure. - Thicker, maybe?
And the color... I don't know.
- Did you guys sleep last night? - Sort of.
Jess? Josh and Aaron! Oh, my God!
- Dave and Kevin! - Alex just told us the good news. Mazel tov!
- Oh, thank you. We're excited. - It's really exciting.
- What week is it? - Uh, 13.
- Oh, wow. - Do we know the gender yet?
- Not yet. - Oh.
Don't ask that. That is... It's just so insane
that we even gender at birth, right?
Yeah. Totally. Um...
Well, it was really good to see you guys. I hope you're doing well.
Oh, yeah, totally. Likewise. And...
- We'll just... - Yeah. How about we see if there's a table outside.
- We were gonna... - We were gonna sit outside.
- Oh, great. - Okay, enjoy.
- See you. Bye. - Good seeing you.
So are you guys gonna go to that community center that Nadine mentioned?
Um... I don't know. We haven't really talked about it yet.
I, um... I mean, I knew somebody with Down syndrome growing up, so...
- You did? - I don't really... yeah. My friend Kelsey's brother.
Oh. Well, um, aren't you curious to get a sense of the community here?
Uh, yeah. We were just... We have to find out when they're open.
It's every afternoon except Sunday.
Mm-hm.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Hi, sorry. Can I help you? - I'm Jess.
- I called you earlier. - Oh, right. Oh, Jess.
- Yes, thank you. Thank you for coming. - Hi.
- And, uh, you're Aaron. Right? - Uh, Josh.
- Oh, Josh. Nice to meet you. Welcome. - Nice to meet you.
An activity session just started, actually, so let's... Oh, hey.
- This is Malik. - Hi, Malik, I'm Jess.
- Hi. - Jess. Josh. He's a great singer.
Bye, Malik.
- Okay, so just this way. - Okay.
Hi.
What are you guys playing with?
Yeah.
You wanna...?
You put it in here and then...
I don't know.
Hey!
Hey! What's your name?
Hey, Leon. Can I look in there?
Wait, where am I?
Oh!
Oh, man, you're taking me away!
You're taking me away!
What? Okay.
Leon!
What's all this money on the floor?
There he is!
Wesley, where's yellow?
- Ah! - Where's yellow?
Give me five!
Oh! Are you okay?
- Where? - You can give me five. Yeah.
V! Another easy one.
W!
- Here we go. - X!
- Yes, exactly, X! - Good job.
Y!
And for a Z, you just draw a Z.
Z!
And then now...
Hi, hi. How's it going?
- Hi, Patrick. - Hi. I'm Jess.
Hi, I'm Rachel. Nice to meet you.
- Josh. - Josh, hi. Sandra.
- I'm Jess. - Sandra. I...
- Excuse us. - Bye, nice to see you.
- Bye. - My son used to come here, but, you know, he's grown now.
But you, uh... you don't wanna get rid of him, do you?
- No. - No, okay. Good to see you.
- Yeah. - You're here.
- Preggers? - Uh, yes, I am.
- Congratulations. - I will actually... thank you.
- I'll let you guys get caught up and I'll be right back. - Yeah, sure.
Thanks.
- Hey. Hey! - Hi.
Um, I just want to tell you I love your dress.
- Oh, thanks. - Where did you get it from?
We can't... we have to leave this here.
Play with it... I know. Okay, two more times.
- I think this is vintage. - Oh, that's amazing.
- Did you get it here? - No, Chicago.
Oh, of course. All the stores here are so picked over, right?
Leon, honey, this has to stay here.
- Hey! - Let's go, my love. Let's go.
We'll do it next time. Out the door.
Bye, Leon! I'm Jess. It was really great to meet you!
Bye, nice to see you, Leon!
It was really nice to meet you. Thank you.
Yeah, anytime. Just give me an email, give me a shout.
Actually, I think we have time for coffee.
- Is there a coffee shop somewhere nearby? - Sure.
- Uh... okay? - That's a great idea.
- Yeah. - You're good with people?
I am, yeah, yeah. Go, go, go.
Well, Jason's... he's in this program at UCLA,
which is great, but it's... it's really hard not having him around.
He's... he's just my Zen master, he's...
He just reminds me to smell the flowers.
He's like, "Here, smell this flower."
You know, not having him here, it's...
Oh, I just... I'm just relapsing into old habits.
I'm sorry, I'm talking your ear off.
No, no. What about your old habits?
Oh, just old anxieties.
I just... I was raised in this very competitive household,
I went to Princeton for like three consecutive programs.
I mean, just imagine this pressure cooker,
and all these people running around terrified,
really having to prove how smart they are.
- My mom is a dean at Yale, so... - So, okay, you know. You know.
All right. So then Jason, he just...
He just...
He just snapped me right out of it, yeah.
He... he just...
He just taught me everything... everything.
Really realigned. Taught me everything.
Yeah. I'm...
That sounds really New Agey.
Oh, Josh and I met at Sarah Lawrence.
- Oh! Oh. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
The hardest part of this pregnancy has been not drinking kombucha.
Yeah. No, no, no.
Hey. Hey, what's up? Is everything okay?
- How's your mom? - Mm...
Um...
I've been avoiding her.
No need to stress her out, you know?
By that I mean no need to stress me out with her stress.
Mm-hm.
Have you been in touch with your friend Kelsey?
Because of her brother with Down syndrome?
- Mm-hm. - Mm...
No, her... her brother died years ago.
- Fuck. - Yeah.
What was his name?
Devon.
Did you have a relationship with him?
He wasn't really somebody you could have a relationship with.
What does that mean?
He didn't seem to know whether you were in the room with him or not.
I'm sure he was aware of your presence, even if he couldn't show it.
- You never met this person, Jess. - Yeah, but...
Okay. You're right.
Aaron was saying...
he doesn't know if we can afford it.
I mean, having a kid with Down syndrome,
it requires a lot.
Okay. Um...
- So are you saying...? - I don't know.
It's like nothing... nothing feels like the right decision.
- I don't know. I don't know. - Okay, you don't have to know right now.
It's only week 13.
Oh...
- Thanks for coming. It was a good turnout. - Yeah.
- Nice harmonizing, by the way. - Oh, thank you.
I wanted to tell you we're having a party here on the 21st.
- Okay. - So...
- Hey. - Hey.
I'm going this way too.
Sorry, remind me of your name?
I'm Jess. And you're Bridget, right?
- And Leon? - Good memory.
Thanks.
- So what do you do? - Mommy, look.
Look at these bubbles.
- Um, what do I... - Yeah, what do you do?
- For a living? - Uh-huh.
Oh. I, um... I run a catering business.
- Oh, awesome. - How about you?
I work for a nonprofit that provides classes for incarcerated women.
- Wow. - Yeah, I'm basically just a glorified social media manager.
And so are you volunteering at the center?
Oh, um, I'm actually just here for information. I'm pregnant.
I'm a surrogate for my two best friends.
- And, um... - That guy you were with last time?
Yeah, yeah. But I'd love to talk to you some more about everything,
if you maybe have time for coffee sometime?
- Well, I'm trying to quit caffeine. - Oh!
Do you remember that kid Leon?
- No. - One of the kids from the community center?
Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't remember their names.
I actually went back there today.
Aaron, you gotta come. This kid is amazing.
- Yeah? - Wait. You went back?
Yeah, I just wanted to.
And I knew you two couldn't take off work.
Plus, I just feel like personally I had a lot
of preconceived notions and so it's good to be there and be like, "Oh!"
I was reading one of the books that the midwife recommended,
and in it, it talks about how until pretty recently it was the norm
to institutionalize children with Down syndrome.
And in those institutions, they didn't teach them to read or write.
They just assumed that they couldn't.
And so a lot of those kids grew up to have problems
because of how they were raised.
And there was a ton of horrific abuse going on.
And that was true for pretty much everyone with Down syndrome.
And then in the '70s, there was this incredible mom
who just did not accept those limitations.
She... she assumed that her son could read if he was taught,
and she was right.
And that one story, that changed the whole community,
and how they perceived, you know, what was possible.
- It was amazing. You guys should read it. - Mm.
Yeah, that's super interesting.
- Uh, dinner's ready. - Okay.
- Aaron. - Mm, looks good.
Water.
Um... this.
Can I?
- Take that? - Thank you.
Bon appetit.
Thanks, man.
Mm.
- This is so good. Thank you. - I'm glad you like it.
Mm. You know, it would be really cool if we could hang out with Leon's family.
He has the most amazing mom.
Sure. Maybe.
I mean, I was thinking maybe this week.
Hey, Bridget. I'm so sorry to bug you.
Um, but I just wanted to know if you wanted to get together this weekend.
Um, I'm more than happy to come to your neighborhood
or I can meet you on your lunch break, whatever is easiest for you.
Just let me know. Okay, bye.
Oh, this is it.
- Hey. Hi, come on in. - Hey!
- Thank you. - Hi.
- Hi, I'm Josh. - Bridget.
- It's nice to meet you. - Hi, nice to meet you.
- Aaron. - Hi, Bridget.
- Come on in. - Thanks for having us.
- Absolutely. - Oh! Hey!
Um, I know you said not to bring anything, but...
Oh, thank you.
Um, do you guys have chocolate?
Do you have a dietary restriction?
No, no, I just...
- Oh, yes, I'm so sorry. - No, no, it's fine. Thank you.
- Hey. - Hi!
- Hey, I'm Dan. - Josh. Thank you for having us.
- Hey, Aaron. Hi. - Aaron, nice to meet you.
- Hey, I'm Jess. - Jess! Hey.
- Hey! - You are too heavy for this.
Say hi. You wanna give him a hug?
- Hi. How are you? - Aw!
- Nice to meet you. - Do you wanna give Aaron a hug?
- Come. - Sure. Where are we going, man?
- You guys want anything to drink? - Um, what are you having?
- Seltzer. - I'll have seltzer also.
- Seltzer? - What are you having?
Beer. Yeah, Josh?
Oh, uh, yeah. Just a water or whatever you're...
- Whatever you guys are having. - You sure?
- Yeah. - Have a beer, come on.
- You're having a beer? - Don't peer pressure him.
- Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a beer. - Okay.
- Oh, thank you. - They're twist-off.
- Okay. - He's sharing the blueberries?
- I love it. - Yeah.
Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.
Yeah? You wanna come out and join us out here?
- What's up? - No, thank you.
"No thank you" on the orange?
- Okay, manners. - I'm gonna try this.
- You want cheese? Okay. - Yes.
- I'm gonna make this a little... - Oh, okay. Ooh! Okay.
- Look at this. - Mini pizza.
- Happy birthday. - Happy birthday to you!
- Thank you! - Happy birthday.
- Is it his birthday? - No.
- It's not his birthday. - He's just joking.
It's everybody's birthday.
What? You want a drink?
- I need this. - You need this?
Another one? Can you eat this one first?
- Okay. - Okay. Thank you.
Well, the food is great. I mean, Ina Garten would be so lucky to get invited here.
- Bridget hates Ina Garten. - I don't hate her.
I think the whole barefoot thing is a little forced.
- Okay. - She's a little uptight.
- Yeah, okay. - For shoes off.
- And the name Ina. - And the name Ina?
It makes me uncomfortable.
Anyway, moving on. How's that taste?
Oh...
So...
Do you guys have any questions for me or...?
- Um... - Um...
Well, I guess, um, you guys could just tell us what you wish you knew before.
I guess just like logistically, there's just a lot to handle.
I underestimated how much time I would spend on the phone...
- Right. - ...advocating and fighting for myself with bureaucrats.
Yeah, I am more tired than I think we've ever
imagined humanly possible.
Well, forgive me if I'm wrong, but isn't all parents?
- Uh-huh. - Hm.
- And do you love his school? - Yeah, we do.
We really... we love it.
It take us a really long time to find some...
something I think that fit. Um...
And don't get me wrong, it's extremely expensive.
- Oh, is public school horrible for...? - No, I don't mean that.
I've heard great things. It's just once we found something we connected with,
- we just... stayed. - Yeah, yeah.
And you guys love the community center. Do you have fun there?
Do I have fun? Um... I think it's great for Leon.
- Mm-hm. - It's been wonderful for him.
And, you know, Sandra's... she's incredibly...
well connected, she's very well informed.
We got a... we got a great pediatrician rec from her, so yeah.
- Can I get you anything else? - No, but the food is spectacular. Thank you.
Leon, did all the cooking. Right, Leon?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Good job, man. - Wonderful chef.
You're a little chef?
So do you not like Sandra?
What... why would you say that?
- Oh... - No! No, no, no! I mean, she's great.
Look, we don't have a lot in common. Um...
- But no. - Please say more.
I... Oh, my God.
You know, I just sometimes feel like she...
sort of uses her son like some sort of literary device.
Like some sort of magical realism trope, like, um...
You know, like he's some sort of unicorn.
- Leon, honey. You finished? - Yeah.
Yeah? Okay. Well, you out of here?
- I got it. - Okay. I actually think she used the term
"magical creature" once. And so I just... I...
I don't know, I find her approach...
objectifying.
Mm-hm. Yeah.
Look at all those hearts!
Don't you like hearts? You like rainbows better?
- Yes. - Yeah. Me too.
That's good? You like this one?
Hold on, I wanna see your face.
I will wait.
- This one... this. - This one? All right.
Wait.
I do it.
- Let me try this. - Okay.
- Try that one. Yeah. - This one? All right.
- Tell me when to go. - Okay.
- He can play, right? - In house. In house.
- In house? Yeah? - In house.
Okay. Wanna do that one?
Very good.
That's so good.
Um, guys, I think I'm just gonna take the subway.
What, you sure? The Uber's a minute away.
Yeah, but I have nausea, it's morning sickness.
I don't really wanna be in the car, so...
- But I love you. - I love you too.
- See you. Love you. - Feel better. Yeah. Love you too.
...educated decision based on what life
actually looks like for people living with Down syndrome in 2019.
And so part of my job is to help them get these pamphlets out,
get this current information out.
And the thing that I love about the pamphlet is it does not say,
"Down syndrome's amazing." No, what it does say
is these are medical risks for people living with Down syndrome.
Here is also this super beautiful baby, because that's Down syndrome.
It's both sides of... it's honest.
It's an honest and real representation of...
You were the one who said it's fine, it's the second trimester.
And if I could take it back, I would.
- Too late. - Of course I know it's too late.
Jess? Hey, is the... is the buzzer not working?
Um, no, your Australian neighbor let me in.
I'm actually gonna go grab a tea real quick. Do you guys want anything?
Yeah, I'll make some tea.
No, you need your alone time.
No, we'd actually love to talk to you, um, now.
So, what kind of tea do you want?
No, no, I'm okay. Um...
- Hey! - Hey.
- Earl Grey okay? - No, Aaron, I'm really good.
- Everything okay? - Mm-hm.
So, um...
We've been talking.
And...
You want an abortion.
Yes, we want an abortion.
- Okay. - Yeah?
What do you mean? Of course.
- I'm so sorry. - For what, babe?
Mm-hm.
Okay, yeah. That's fine.
Okay, 8am. Okay.
Thank you so much. All right, see you Tuesday.
8am. Thank you. Bye.
Hey, guys?
Guys. Hey.
What do you want to get for dinner?
Um...
- I'm easy. Whatever you want. - What do you want?
Um... can we do Thai?
- Thai it is. - Absolutely.
- Yeah. - Okay.
Open your mouth, close your eyes. Give me your tongue.
Oh, my goodness! I can't believe you!
- He's a daredevil. - Should I try?
- Yeah. - I don't know if I can.
I think it's gonna be too sour.
- It's so sour. - Should she try it again?
- Yeah. - Yeah? Oh!
I don't like it.
I have a surprise!
Oh, my gosh!
There was this one mom that I did really connect with.
And Leon and her son really hit it off, but...
she lived all the way in Washington Heights.
So I did set up a few playdates, but honestly I just...
- couldn't get there. - Hm.
- Just like such a bad mom. - Oh, yeah. You're the worst mom.
I kind of am.
Definitely gonna call Child Protective Services.
I am letting an iPad raise my child half the time.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What did he press?
- I don't know. - Hold on.
Yeah. Um...
I just need to ask a hypothetical question.
Dad, are you still there?
Um, when you guys were pregnant with me,
did you do any prenatal testing?
Really?
Um, what would have done
had it come back positive for sickle cell?
Would you have aborted me?
Oh, do you remember that law firm that you were clerking at
- when you and Josh first started dating? - Yes.
Do I remember?
Well, um, I looked them up.
And I know that they represented Exxon,
but they also were on the good side of the Supreme Court gay marriage case.
So they're not all bad.
I don't understand.
Maybe you could try to get a job there.
Look, I know that you said money was such a major factor.
And I get part of what makes Bridget's life possible is that they have money.
Look, the firm that I'm at now is the perfect firm for me.
You know, and it's not easy to just get a job at another law firm. It's...
I... I'm just thinking of options.
Jess, I just want you to know that we've...
we've considered all of this, we thought about all the possible options.
You know, it's not a decision that we just made flippantly.
No, I know. I know.
- Is everything okay? - Yeah.
Yeah, just... I'm fine.
- Hey. - Hey.
Okay. So, um...
What we are about to do means nothing. Okay? Do you promise?
- Yeah, yeah. - It doesn't change anything between us.
We are not getting back together.
- Okay. - Okay, great.
Okay.
- Hm? - Mm...
You... want some scrambled eggs?
Let's just stay like this for a little bit.
Okay.
Thank you for this.
I am here for you.
- Hey. - Hm?
How are you doing?
Hm? No, like... like how are you really doing?
- Uh... - Look, it's just that if I know what you are going through,
then I'll have a better chance of being there for you.
Uh...
I actually don't think that's true.
What? Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- You don't think I can handle it? - No.
No, I actually don't.
- Really? - Yes.
Hey.
Thank you so for letting me stay with you guys.
Oh, stop it. You can stay as long as you want.
It'll be nice to have the extra childcare.
Also, thank you for not asking me how I'm doing.
Is that your way of saying you want me to ask how you're doing?
No, no. It just means... you're not like scrutinizing me.
I don't feel like I have to pretend like I'm okay around you.
Good.
What if I were to like have this kid on my own?
You know? If I moved somewhere around here.
- Would you help me? - Well...
Jess, I'm not sure I'm well versed on Down syndrome.
I know, but I'm not asking you to be like a physical therapist or anything.
I'm just asking you, would you have my back?
Of course I would. Yes, of course.
Thank you.
Eat those crackers.
I mean, I shouldn't do it.
It's probably a bad idea. You think it's a terrible idea.
- I didn't say that. - But that's what you think, right?
It's not for me to decide.
What do you think, Winston?
Oh.
- Oh, sweetie. - Little baby boy.
Jessica?
- Hi! - Hi, Jess.
Hey, Dad. Um, one second.
- Hey. - Hey!
Didn't know you guys were gonna be here.
I'm sorry, what, am I not allowed to come and visit my grandbaby?
Oh, well, she's at swim class, so...
You haven't been returning my calls.
I know, I'm sorry.
Well, you know, when you do that I get seriously worried.
Um... serious question for you,
as the trustee of my trust.
Could I take out a hundred grand to put down...?
Oh.
It's for a down payment on a house.
I'm thinking somewhere in Connecticut, halfway between here and where you guys live.
- What is wrong? - Why are we talking about real estate right now?
I mean, you can understand why we're a bit...
Yeah, Josh and Aaron don't want to have the kid.
So I'm considering...
I'm thinking about ways that I can adopt...
- I mean, not adopt... - No. No.
I'm not giving you the money for this.
But you always said it was for a down payment.
I mean, in terms of mortgage, I will still be working.
I would work part-time where I currently work,
or I would freelance, and I'd have child support from Josh and Aaron.
Are you factoring in maintenance costs?
- Are you factoring in... - Yes! Yes, I am.
- Child support? - Yeah. No, I get it.
It's the ultimate, um, stereotype.
The single black mother. No, I get it. I get that.
It's something that you guys have worked your entire lives to avoid.
And it's... it's a real thing. I hear it.
But I can't spend my entire life just avoiding being a stereotype.
That can't be the deciding factor in everything.
When your grandparents made this trust for you,
this was not what they envisioned for it. To put it lightly.
You have a trust because your grandparents saved every penny,
and they worked very, very, very hard.
Harder than you can even fathom.
Okay. I acknowledge that.
Okay? And I acknowledge the fact that I will never know
what Grandma and Grandpa went through.
But isn't one of the objectives of their hard work
that I would be able to choose, that I'd be able to do what I want?
The choice to be a single mother of a special needs child?
I don't know. Maybe. Maybe that's what I want.
- Jess. - Your have an exceptional career, okay?
And I know you're not happy right now,
but I think if you sacrifice your work, you will regret it.
Mom, I'm not happy there. I'm not.
And okay, yeah, maybe it looks cool
that I'm working at this fancy nonprofit that does important work.
But the more I think about it, the more I'm like,
- do we actually do important work? - Yes.
Or... or do we make wealthy donors likes yourselves
feel less guilty for their privileged existences?
Well, forgive me for my privilege,
but your organization makes a difference.
I am just a glorified web designer, Mom. Anyone could do that for them.
Oh, I am so tired of you underselling yourself.
You are a brilliant designer. You're a brilliant marketer.
You're a brilliant technician. And you care about the causes.
You're describing every chick in Brooklyn.
Go to law school.
- Make a difference that way. - Oh, my God!
- I'm not going to law school. - Oh, that's too drastic?
Start your own nonprofit.
Mom, having this child is making a difference in an real and tangible way.
Honey, think practically. Okay?
- You're being... academic... - No, Mom, I am being practical.
Because the public school system needs parents like me to lobby for change.
Most of the parents who have children with DS, they're working class.
They don't have time or the resources to do this.
You don't have the time, you don't have the resources,
and having one kid is a drop in the bucket.
You know, honey, what you are talking about is... is healthcare inequality, right?
- Hm. - So in an ideal world,
everybody would have access to genetic testing.
So that we could eradicate Down syndrome?
Yes.
Oh, my God.
You have to see the parallels. That's eugenics.
- Oh, Jess, God no! - Yes, yes, yes, it is.
Yes, it is. They used to think that Mongolian blood was the cause for Down syndrome.
You are not telling me anything that I don't know. Okay?
The fact: people with Down syndrome
have a much more difficult life.
Okay, but where do we draw the line?
We... we draw the line...
at Down syndrome.
Okay. This is gross. I can't be here right now.
- Jess. - Jess, you do not have the luxury
of thinking about this much longer.
You know, when I was 20,
I was dating this guy, it was before I met your dad.
And I got pregnant.
And I was overwhelmed and I was terrified to tell Grandma.
And the prevailing sentiment was that it was a decision that one regrets
for the rest of their lives.
And I thought about having a kid with some guy.
And when I think back to that now,
I made the best possible decision.
Mom, I've had an abortion.
- Oh, Jess. - Dad, it's okay. It's okay. I'm fine.
You know you could've come to me with that, right?
Yes, of course. I just... it was...
I was 23, and I had my therapist and...
a week later I was fine. Look, that's not the issue here.
- Then what is the issue? - It's... "This fetus has Down syndrome,
let's throw it out with the garbage."
Jess, I am not saying that.
I do not support some dystopian society.
If Josh and Aaron wanted to raise this child,
and you were gonna be the godmother,
that would be great.
Okay. Well, maybe we should just call it a night.
Do you want to come home for dinner?
I think I'm gonna stay here
and help put Winston to bed.
Well, we're gonna talk tomorrow? Hm?
Maybe tomorrow you'll feel like discussing this in a more adult way.
Okay, Mom, no, I am an adult. I am an adult.
Okay? I'm an adult and I'm having an adult...
You are not having an adult conversation.
You are acting like you're not making a decision
that's going to affect all of our lives immensely.
Okay? What happens after you're gone? Who's gonna provide for this child when you go?
Okay? Don't act like... don't pretend that my thinking about this doesn't matter!
Of course what you think matters!
Why do you think I'm so desperate to get your approval?
Well, you're not gonna get my approval, not like this.
This girl has a Masters degree from Columbia University!
Okay, a piece of paper that tells everyone else that I'm better than them.
- Right, Mom? - Karen!
Mm...
- Hey, I'm so sorry about the email thing. - It's okay.
Yeah, but I know it makes us look bad. Um, should I send an email
following up to clarify or fix that mistake?
- No, that'll just draw more attention to it. - Okay.
- Um, but I am sorry. - It's okay. Don't worry about it.
Hey, sorry, we close for lunch at 4, but we open for dinner at 5.
- Is your manager around? - What can we help you with?
I'm just wondering how you accommodate someone unable to walk up the stairs?
Um, we'll do whatever we can to help them.
But how? This is a hypothetical. No one's with me. But how?
Could you hold on one second?
Hey, how can I help you?
You can make your restaurant wheelchair accessible.
I mean, it's illegal, if you've ever heard of the Americans with Disabilities Act.
- So... - Uh...
- Thank you for the feedback. - Mm-hm.
It's definitely something we're working on.
We're working on installing a ramp.
And in the meantime?
We're more than happy to lift anyone up the steps.
You're gonna lift someone? And how are they able to let you know that
if they're just passing by?
Thank you for the feedback. Is there anything else we can do for you?
- Hey! How are you? - Okay.
- What's up? - You know.
Can I, um... can I take your coat or...?
- No, it's okay. Can I have water? - Okay. Come in, yeah.
- Can you get her some water? - Yeah, of course.
- Thank you. - Mm-hm.
Mm.
I just... I just want you to know that we don't want this to be the end of... We...
We want to try again with you.
If that's something you're interested in.
Whenever... whenever you're ready.
Okay? I mean it. And no... no pressure. You've already...
Josh, I...
I know that you're trying to be thoughtful right now,
and I appreciate it, I just, um...
I can't think that far into the future.
Okay.
Please tell us what's wrong.
Nothing's wrong. No, nothing's wrong. Um...
Look, I know that this is...
not what you planned for.
But...
what if we were co-parents?
I could share some of the responsibility.
I could move into an apartment within walking distance from here.
Financially too.
Look, why don't I give you some time to consider that?
- Okay? Just sleep on it. - Wait, Jess. Can you...
Is that even realistic? I mean, in all fairness...
I would make it work.
Look, I know that...
Okay, getting a sister-wife is not what you bargained for.
Jess, when we made this decision,
we took into consideration the fact that we could lean on you,
and that you'd be a huge part of our support system if...
we had the child.
Okay. Forget what I just said.
Um...
What if... what if you just got a monthly contribution to help pay for everything?
And I would still just be "Aunt Jess," off to the side, not breathing down...
- No, we couldn't ask that of you. - No, I know.
I know you're not asking that of me, but...
maybe I'm telling you that the money is coming your way,
should you decide to have this kid.
You've said that it was all about financial factors, so...
We don't have time to sleep on it.
Your appointment is day after tomorrow.
Um... uh, no.
Um...
I... I postponed the appointment.
- You postponed the appointment? - Yes.
I can be in charge of the timing. It's okay.
Look...
Doesn't... doesn't Bridget seems happy?
- And Sandra too. - No. No.
Honestly. I mean... And so what if they are?
It's a self-selecting population, you know?
Look, the parents who are having a really, really hard time,
the ones who maybe wish that they had...
They're not the ones going to these meet-ups
or the ones writing books about it. It's...
And of that group, how do we know they're not just, like, faking happiness?
Okay. Parenting is hard.
It is not easy. I'm not saying that.
Look, there's a reason you have gravitated towards Leon,
okay, and not some of the other kids who are way less high-functioning than he is.
Okay, this kid is not gonna be like that kid that you grew up with.
It's not gonna be like Devon. Things are changing so much.
Leon is where things are headed.
Yeah, and the more intelligent the kids are,
the more aware they are of their... their limitations.
Look, that's in the book you gave us.
Oh, I didn't know that you read that.
Yeah, Jess.
Look, let's say Leon wants to be a musician.
Then it's his mom's job to tell him that that's not a realistic possibility.
To constantly be the bearer of bad news...
- No, Leon could be a musician. - Come on, it's not the same thing.
The kids in the Special Olympics know that they are in the Special Olympics.
- Josh, that's not helpful. - And they don't care. They like the Special Olympics.
I'm pretty sure they're not like, "Oh, the Special Olympics."
Okay, so Leon won't be the next Alicia Keys. Who cares?
That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is
I want our child to have a fulfilling life.
Okay. Okay. Um...
I think you're more so talking about the ego of the parents.
Right? About being able to brag about your kid.
'Cause lots of people with DS have fulfilling lives.
I mean, there's a teacher at the center who's an adult who has DS
and she seems pretty fulfilled.
I'm pretty sure she doesn't wish she'd never been born.
- All right. You know who Richard Dawkins is? - Of course.
Well, he said it's... it's actually immoral, it's unethical
to not terminate a fetus with DS.
You know, it's not like we're the first people to...
- He is alt-right. - No he's not.
- He is blatantly anti-Islam. - He is against all religion.
He's atheist, which last I checked, so were you.
Okay, I think we're exhausted, so why don't we just call this a night.
No, no, but you could try not to make it inflammatory.
No, I know, "Pregnant bitches be crazy."
Will you stop putting words in our mouths, Jess!
Maybe Richard Dawkins is not alt-right,
but what he is expressing there is eugenics.
It's in the clothes of a civilized argument, but that is eugenics.
My grandparents lost their entire families to eugenics.
I think I know a thing or two about it.
- To say that this is the same... - Oh, and I couldn't possibly
understand because black people have never experienced eugenics.
A little help here?
Okay, great! Thank you so much.
- I don't know... - This is so stupid.
If you are now defining life as having begun...
No, I'm not going pro-life on you.
I just... I want you to actually think about this choice.
We have. We have. I don't know how to convince you that we...
- What... what do you want? - I want... I want you...
I want you to start grieving this child that you have in your mind,
and then start preparing for this kid.
Start reading, start engaging with people when we go to the Playhouse.
We have been, Jess, we've...
Look, we want to be the parents that everyone expects us to be,
that finds a way to turn this into a gift, who writes the memoir.
But we're just, we're strong enough.
Yes, you are! You can be!
Okay, fine, then we are terrible people. Okay?
I feel like that is what you want me to say.
And so now that we've said it, can we just move on?
- No, that is a cop-out. - Look, Jess.
As gay men, our whole lives,
we have made do with the cards we've been dealt and not complained about it.
Okay? It's like ingrained in us that we should be grateful for the crumbs that we have.
And I'm not saying that we deserve pity, I'm not.
I'm just saying that we do deserve to be like everyone else.
Okay? And not have to apologize for it.
We are not some scummy rare outlier here.
The majority of couples in our situation do decide to terminate,
and just like them we deserve to try again,
we deserve to try and have a kid who's...
- Yeah. - A kid who's perfect.
- No, a kid who's normal. - Josh, that's not the right word.
Right. Yeah.
You have this idea of this chill, little, quiet kid wearing Steven Alan clothes.
You can't stand the thought of being in some fancy restaurant
and having everybody look over at you because your slobbering retard child
is throwing a tantrum. No, that's how most
of the fucking bougie people in this city think, right?
That's why this city is so full of stairs everywhere.
Let's keep everyone out who's less than some Aryan ideal.
Because, what, we think that we'll never grow old
and lose our mobility, or God forbid, our mental ability?
Yes, Jess, the system is fucked. That is not our fault.
But when you say that it's a financial issue,
what you really mean is you're not willing to give up any aspect of your lifestyle.
- You guys are rich! - Okay, I think we've said everything we need to say, Jess.
We've made our decision.
I'm making mine.
I may have to hold you to that contract that we wrote.
Jess, the only way you can sue us is if we don't cover medical expenses,
which we are doing, 100 percent for you.
- You know what? The lawyer cautioned us about... - 100 percent.
Aaron, I know that it is a gentlemen's agreement
or whatever, I'm not talking about suing you.
I'm talking about holding you to this as human beings.
What do you mean, contractually I have to have an abortion?
- What are you gonna do, tie me down? - Jess, of course!
You're absolutely right. If you want to have the kid...
I know that! Don't you think I fucking know that?!
Yeah, so... obviously,
I could have the kid if I wanted to,
and Josh would have to pay me child support.
We'd have a real Jerry Springer situation on our hands.
Obviously, I don't want to have to get lawyers involved if we don't have to.
Come on, Jess, that is not what you want, Jess.
- That cannot possibly be what you want. - I don't know.
I'm just saying, like, think about it.
- I'm gonna go. - Wait, Jess, we have to finish this conversation.
No, I think we've said everything we need to say.
Hi. Hey, how's it going?
Yeah. Oh, shit, shit.
I didn't realize how late it was. I'm so sorry.
Um, I just... can I take you out to dinner sometime this week?
There's this incredible place called Otway in Clinton Hill
that, I mean, it has the most amazing pumpkin dish that I've ever had in my life.
So?
- It's good. - What?
- Uh no, it is... - It's good.
It is more than good. It is amazing.
Look, I'd be happy if I was sitting in a McDonald's right now.
I'm just so happy to be out of the house.
Excuse me.
Uh, so I have a question for you, and I need you to be honest with me.
Okay.
Do you think that I could do this on my own?
Have this child? I mean, you've probably picked up on the fact
that Josh and Aaron don't want to...
I am so sorry. I am vomiting all of this on you.
Uh, I mean, I... I don't know.
- Yeah. - Right.
Maybe I should spend some more time with Leon.
You know, I could babysit and then you and Dan could have a date night.
We... he already has so many babysitters and...
he's on a pretty, you know, tight schedule.
- Yeah, but I'd like to. - I really appreciate it, but I'd rather not.
Oh, yeah. Oh, of course.
Um... oh, my God.
I... I probably just came off very Sandra-like.
No, with a very like, "Let me observe him in his natural habitat."
- Really? - And that's so gross. I'm so sorry.
It's really okay.
Do you think that I... I don't know, that I would be up to the task?
I mean... Well, just think about it and get back to me.
No, I really don't need to think about. I just... I don't know, Jess.
It's... it's truly your decision.
- Yeah, I know, but what do you think? - I don't think anything.
I think I don't know you well enough. I don't know your finances.
- I can tell you my finances. - That's really not the point.
I have a lot on my plate.
I mean, I don't mean to sound self-aggrandizing,
but why am I alive if not to do something like this?
You don't sound that way at all.
It is... it is so commendable, what you're doing.
I just have to find a way to handle it financially.
Well, there's a whole support network out there. You know that.
And I'm here to help in any way possible.
Thank you, really.
Oh, you know some people, they say the soul
is formed at conception.
- Who says that? - Hindus.
The Talmud, you know, it says it happens at birth.
And Islam says it happens somewhere in the middle.
- But it happens. - Why are you telling me this?
Oh, I thought you'd find it interesting.
I'm just saying I'm so happy, I think you're making the right decision.
Um, I... I actually have to get going.
Uh... I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.
No, no, I just... I have to go to work, so...
I think it's best if I take a leave of absence
while I figure this out.
- Okay. - But I do wanna come back.
And when I come back, if I were to move somewhere out of the city,
do you think I would be able to work remotely?
I don't know, Jess.
Let's talk about it when you get back.
I'm just... I'm just saying I am here for you.
- Okay? - Thank you.
And I think that we... we can do this.
We can do this here. Together.
- No! - What?
No! Oh, my God! Nate, no!
I don't... I don't even know...
I don't know if I'm having this child.
I just... I need space... I need space and time,
and that is why I'm going to Connecticut.
That's totally fine. I don't mind moving there too.
No, I'm not talking about moving! Fucking stop! Oh, my God! No!
I'm talking about going there, going there for a week.
That's it.
- Hey, hey, hey, I'm sorry. - Please don't.
Okay, okay.
Jess! Jess!
- Oh! Mrs. Friedberg, hi! - Jess!
- Call me Sarah. - Hi.
- How's your mom? - She's good. You know, she's busy as usual.
- Um, how's Emily? - Great.
She was just appointed executive director not-for-profit, Rhizome.
Oh. Oh, tell her I said congratulations.
I will, I will. How are you?
I'm good. Um... you know...
- Yeah, I'm pregnant. - Oh, my... oh, my God!
- Oh! Mazel tov! - Oh, thank you.
Your mom has not kept me properly informed.
When did you get married?
Um, it's actually a bit of a unique case.
Yeah, the surrogacy was for my two best friends...
- Oh, that's beautiful. - Yeah.
They discovered the fetus has Down syndrome
and they no longer want her, yada yada yada.
Oh, my God. I...
I...
Oh, uh... I'm so sorry.
Um, my heart goes out to you.
Well, there's to be sorry for. You know?
There are a lot worse things in the world.
Right. I didn't mean to imply...
- It's fine. - Do you need a ride?
No, uh, my sister should be here soon.
Sorry. I didn't wanna knock in case you were napping.
No, that's fine.
So Josh and Aaron called me.
- Mm-mm. - They wanted to make sure you were okay.
- Said they've been trying. - Did you tell them that I'm fine?
They want to talk in person.
There's nothing to talk about.
- What does that mean? - I've made up my mind.
But don't they deserve to know that?
- Do you watch Shark Tank? - No.
- Sh. - Sorry. No.
We're obsessed with it for some reason.
There's a new episode on tonight.
- Is he down? - Yeah. Yes.
What's wrong?
Our visitors seem to be waiting in the driveway.
They're 45 minutes early.
- Was I supposed to make food for them? - No.
Just give me a second.
Hey, uh...
Sorry we're so early. I thought there would be traffic or...
Um...
Winston is sleeping inside, so we should talk out here.
Okay, um...
You guys wanted to talk.
Yeah, we wanted to know how you're doing.
- Are you okay? - I'm great.
Have you guys changed your minds?
Well, we thought about the possibility of adoption.
We found this great organization of people...
I know about that. It's...
Hm. I don't know.
So I have decided to have this kid on my own.
And I don't want you to be a part of the child's life.
I'll have my lawyer contact your lawyer,
but basically, in the state of Connecticut...
Jess, why don't we go inside? Or we can come back later
if you don't feel up to this right now.
What makes you think I don't feel up to this?
Your... your attitude, how you're talking to us.
- Okay, all right. - We're trying to figure out exactly
what the best way to proceed forward with you...
You came to my house, so...
- To talk to you, for you. - Would you let me finish
- what I have to say? You interrupted me. - Please. Please.
Great, so my lawyer will contact your lawyer soon.
But basically, in the state of Connecticut, you do not need the father's name
to be on the birth certificate, you only need the mother's name.
Is that okay with you?
Look, this is what you wanted, right?
To pretend the child does not exist? So pretend the child does not exist.
Okay, all right. Um...
I just want to say that we support whatever decision you make here.
But... but when you say no involvement...
That is exactly what I mean.
I think no contact is best.
I just don't think it's a good idea for a child
to be around adults who think that something is wrong with her,
that she is broken because of her chromosomal situation.
- Jess. - No, I know, I know you would never say that
in front of her, and obviously I would never repeat it.
But children, they pick up on energy.
I mean, come on, you can't just come here and be like,
"We wanna be her godfathers," as if...
as if everything is hunky-dory.
- We're not trying to come here like that! - Jess.
- Okay. - I am so not comfortable
with this no contact thing. Okay?
And why is that what you want? I mean...
Hey, I'm sorry. I know this is never going to be...
like it was, but why don't you want our support at least?
- Jess. - Jess, where are you doing?
There's a child in there taking a nap,
and we are being loud.
Look, what I'm proposing is what you guys wanted, right?
So why don't you just go back to Williamsburg and leave me the fuck alone.
Jess, hey. It's me, Josh.
I've made a decision that you don't agree with, but it's still me.
Look, I would be related to this kid. Okay?
- It would be ours. - And?
Even if you got full custody, there may come a day
when the child wants to have contact with...
Are you just gonna pretend that we don't exist? That's not fair.
Look, whatever happens,
we are gonna be a part of this kid's life. We just... we are.
Jess! Where are you going?
You're right.
You are absolutely right.
Having this child would link me to you forever.
Oh, Jess.
Jess...
- Hey. - Hey.
Oh. Thanks.
Oh, that's... that's horrible.
I made an appointment for an abortion tomorrow.
- Will you come with me? - Mm-hm.
- Are you okay to miss work? - Jess.
Thank you.
- Do you want some yogurt? - I'm okay.
- Oh! - Hey!
- You okay? - Yeah. I just...
There's a sliding part over here, right?
Oh, God.
Whoo!
- Was it that bad? - Yeah, I just said fuck it.
Yeah.
Oh! Oh!
Three, two, one.
Whoo!
- Not too bad. - It's not too bad!
- It's good, right? - It's a little cold.
Oh yes!
If I don't warm up...
Yeah, I feel like this is one of those situations
where I have to be there to warm it up.
- So... don't do that. - Why?
- Don't do that. - This is it. The river!
Go down there.
- You might want... What? - Go down there.
- It gets really warm. - You're about to feel it
in like three seconds.
Ooh!
It's so pretty out today.
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