1
00:01:03,332 --> 00:01:08,332
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
M_I_SForEver

2
00:01:12,771 --> 00:01:15,875
<i>Aah! No! No!</i>

3
00:01:15,908 --> 00:01:18,811
- Thirty seconds.
- No! No! I'm not doing this!

4
00:01:18,843 --> 00:01:23,115
Perry! Just breathe with me.
Just relax and breathe in...

5
00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:25,617
- Ah!
- Out.

6
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:28,153
- Aah!
- Good. Good.

7
00:01:28,186 --> 00:01:30,155
You're doing great.

8
00:01:30,188 --> 00:01:32,524
Slow in...

9
00:01:32,558 --> 00:01:35,561
And out. So good.

10
00:01:35,593 --> 00:01:38,263
- Okay. Safe and sound.
- Ah!

11
00:01:38,296 --> 00:01:40,198
Fifteen seconds.

12
00:01:40,231 --> 00:01:41,834
- No! I can't do this! I won't!
- Relax and breathe!

13
00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:44,904
I'm not relaxing.
And I'm not jumping!

14
00:01:44,936 --> 00:01:46,771
- You promised me.
- On the ground!

15
00:01:46,805 --> 00:01:48,574
I promised you on the ground!

16
00:01:48,606 --> 00:01:52,310
- You promised me in the bed.
- Which is on the ground!

17
00:01:52,343 --> 00:01:54,312
- Trust me!
- Ah!

18
00:01:54,346 --> 00:01:55,381
You're gonna love it!

19
00:01:55,414 --> 00:01:56,516
It's now or never!

20
00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:57,850
It's never!

21
00:01:57,882 --> 00:01:59,317
It's now!

22
00:02:05,323 --> 00:02:07,359
I'm coming!

23
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:08,661
I'm getting closer!

24
00:02:09,728 --> 00:02:12,899
Perry! Perry, I'm coming!

25
00:02:15,266 --> 00:02:17,903
I've got you!

26
00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:19,672
Relax!

27
00:02:19,705 --> 00:02:22,775
Relax?! Ten miles
up in the air. Are you crazy?

28
00:02:22,807 --> 00:02:24,644
- But I know...
- But nothing!

29
00:02:24,676 --> 00:02:27,479
You're insane and
I'm insane for being with you!

30
00:02:27,513 --> 00:02:29,481
- Okay. What are you saying?
- I'm saying,

31
00:02:29,514 --> 00:02:31,516
that if by some miracle
I'm not a pancake

32
00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:34,587
in the next thirty seconds,
we're done!

33
00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:36,254
Wait, are you
breaking up with me?

34
00:02:36,288 --> 00:02:37,856
Yes, you freakin' maniac!

35
00:02:37,889 --> 00:02:40,759
Fine! Pull your ripcord, then.

36
00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:42,361
With pleasure!

37
00:02:43,628 --> 00:02:45,164
Goodbye!

38
00:02:46,365 --> 00:02:49,769
Help me, Jessie! Help me!

39
00:02:49,801 --> 00:02:51,469
I got you, let me flip it.

40
00:02:51,502 --> 00:02:55,507
All right, hold on!

41
00:03:02,781 --> 00:03:04,450
I love you, forever.

42
00:03:05,617 --> 00:03:06,852
This is my perfect moment.

43
00:03:06,884 --> 00:03:09,521
My man, my love.

44
00:03:09,555 --> 00:03:12,258
- My ass!
- I just saved you

45
00:03:12,290 --> 00:03:13,960
and you're still
breaking up with me,

46
00:03:13,992 --> 00:03:15,760
it is not a good time.

47
00:03:15,794 --> 00:03:17,763
Who cares, you psycho!

48
00:03:17,795 --> 00:03:19,731
This was supposed to be
an adventure!

49
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,800
Just get me to the ground
as fast as possible

50
00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:23,468
so I can be done with you!

51
00:03:23,502 --> 00:03:24,837
- Really?
- Really!

52
00:03:26,604 --> 00:03:27,572
Okay.

53
00:03:27,605 --> 00:03:30,909
Ah! You crazy bitch!

54
00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:34,713
Ah!

55
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:37,450
Ugh!

56
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:39,418
Look out!

57
00:03:39,450 --> 00:03:42,687
I'm so sorry! Watch out!

58
00:03:42,721 --> 00:03:43,923
Oh, crap!

59
00:03:53,665 --> 00:03:54,633
Oh!

60
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:57,436
Everybody good?

61
00:03:57,468 --> 00:03:59,838
I'm so sorry!
I know how you must feel.

62
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:01,541
I work on weddings sometimes.

63
00:04:02,907 --> 00:04:04,609
Get out of here!

64
00:04:04,643 --> 00:04:06,444
It's a beautiful wedding.

65
00:04:06,478 --> 00:04:08,948
I would love to
get that dress cleaned for you!

66
00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:11,283
Get outta here!

67
00:04:15,486 --> 00:04:17,423
You've ruined my wedding!

68
00:04:17,456 --> 00:04:20,293
For God's sake, who are you?

69
00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:24,831
Take this and go! Go!

70
00:04:26,098 --> 00:04:27,400
Get outta here!

71
00:04:27,432 --> 00:04:30,302
<i>♪ There goes the bride ♪</i>

72
00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:33,372
<i>♪ Dressed in muddy white ♪</i>

73
00:04:33,404 --> 00:04:35,373
<i>Wedding trasher!</i>

74
00:04:37,875 --> 00:04:39,344
<i>Get out of here!</i>

75
00:04:39,377 --> 00:04:40,745
<i>Wedding trasher!</i>

76
00:04:40,778 --> 00:04:41,713
<i>You ruined this for me!</i>

77
00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:51,624
<i>♪ You think that we could be ♪</i>

78
00:04:51,656 --> 00:04:54,926
<i>♪ Perfect in love ♪</i>

79
00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:59,798
<i>♪ If you do you're utterly,
Totally, perfectly wrong ♪</i>

80
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:04,737
<i>♪ Love is perfect
Love is pure ♪</i>

81
00:05:04,769 --> 00:05:06,906
<i>♪ We screw it up
That's for sure ♪</i>

82
00:05:08,107 --> 00:05:09,876
<i>♪ Don't blame love ♪</i>

83
00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:14,112
<i>♪ The blame is on us... ♪</i>

84
00:05:14,146 --> 00:05:16,882
Okay, folks. The moment
you've all been waiting for!

85
00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:20,386
The historical, hysterical,
completely inaccurate

86
00:05:20,418 --> 00:05:21,586
Captain Ritchie Duck Tour!

87
00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:23,055
Listen, it's gonna be a blast.

88
00:05:23,088 --> 00:05:24,490
And if you don't have fun,

89
00:05:24,523 --> 00:05:26,359
tough beans,
because you already paid,

90
00:05:26,391 --> 00:05:28,026
and it's impossible
to get a refund.

91
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,129
High five! Boom! Pound it out.

92
00:05:30,161 --> 00:05:32,063
- Boom! There you go.
- Look out.

93
00:05:32,096 --> 00:05:34,733
Wait a minute!

94
00:05:34,766 --> 00:05:37,737
I did not know the Miss America
pageant was in town.

95
00:05:37,769 --> 00:05:40,072
- You're fresh.
- Thank you for noticing.

96
00:05:40,105 --> 00:05:42,007
The secret to that
is showering monthly,

97
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,643
exercising never,
and drinking a bunch.

98
00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:46,444
Wow, it's working.

99
00:05:46,478 --> 00:05:48,980
Though, you may wanna
revisit that shower schedule.

100
00:05:49,014 --> 00:05:50,516
Like what,
once every two months?

101
00:05:50,548 --> 00:05:51,816
That's what I was thinking.

102
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:53,486
Like the water
conservation thing.

103
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:54,954
- Yeah.
- You're nasty. I like it.

104
00:05:56,422 --> 00:05:57,857
Glass slipper.

105
00:05:57,889 --> 00:05:59,724
Cinderella's
my favorite character.

106
00:05:59,757 --> 00:06:02,661
- Where's the other one?
- Prince Charming has it.

107
00:06:02,694 --> 00:06:04,830
And where is he?

108
00:06:04,862 --> 00:06:06,699
Hmm, that's the question,
isn't it?

109
00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:10,136
Uh! Make room for Cinderella

110
00:06:10,168 --> 00:06:12,504
and her not ugly stepsisters!

111
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,173
Come on in.

112
00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:16,040
Dressed for the cause,
I like the suit.

113
00:06:16,074 --> 00:06:17,910
Oh, and the purple
brings out your eyes.

114
00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:20,913
<i>♪ Don't blame love ♪</i>

115
00:06:20,946 --> 00:06:23,149
<i>♪ Don't blame love ♪</i>

116
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:26,586
<i>♪ Blame us. ♪</i>

117
00:06:55,613 --> 00:06:57,015
- Gah!
- Oh! Ooh!

118
00:06:57,048 --> 00:06:59,084
Oh, God, sorry. Are you okay?

119
00:06:59,117 --> 00:07:01,020
What do you think you're doing?

120
00:07:01,052 --> 00:07:02,687
I'm so sorry, that
was totally my fault.

121
00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:04,023
Bloody scooters!

122
00:07:04,055 --> 00:07:05,723
Are you Lawrence Phillips?

123
00:07:05,757 --> 00:07:07,059
Yes, I am.

124
00:07:07,091 --> 00:07:09,127
I've had your food
at a wedding.

125
00:07:09,161 --> 00:07:10,829
- Oh, good.
- It was incredible.

126
00:07:10,862 --> 00:07:12,163
Yeah, I'm glad you survived.

127
00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:13,732
I want you to
cater my wedding. I...

128
00:07:13,764 --> 00:07:15,634
No, I'm booked
years in advance.

129
00:07:15,666 --> 00:07:17,702
Oh, no, I mean, I'm
not even engaged. It's okay.

130
00:07:17,735 --> 00:07:19,471
My last boyfriend dropped me.

131
00:07:19,504 --> 00:07:21,105
I dropped him, actually,
into a lake.

132
00:07:21,139 --> 00:07:22,708
Into a lake?

133
00:07:22,740 --> 00:07:24,976
So, I got off, relatively
lightly, this morning.

134
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:27,480
I am sorry. It was
really nice to meet you.

135
00:07:27,512 --> 00:07:29,781
I could say,
it was fun bumping into you,

136
00:07:29,814 --> 00:07:31,250
but I'd be
stretching the truth.

137
00:07:31,283 --> 00:07:32,985
Have a great day.

138
00:07:34,218 --> 00:07:36,021
Oh, God.

139
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,865
Hi. Sorry, I'm a fraction late.

140
00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:47,600
I literally ran into
Lawrence Phillips,

141
00:07:47,632 --> 00:07:48,733
who's just so...

142
00:07:48,766 --> 00:07:50,034
- Uptight?
- Precise.

143
00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,637
- Crabby and anal.
- A perfectionist.

144
00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:52,872
An OCD pain in the ass.

145
00:07:52,904 --> 00:07:54,606
The best in the city.

146
00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:57,075
I guess, I was thinking
more like famous.

147
00:07:57,108 --> 00:07:59,077
I'm the groom. Hi, I'm Robert.

148
00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:02,113
And our next mayor.
Jessie English.

149
00:08:02,146 --> 00:08:05,149
It's an honor. I mailed
my ballot in yesterday,

150
00:08:05,182 --> 00:08:07,118
so, you're winning,
one to nothing.

151
00:08:07,151 --> 00:08:09,587
Well, if you've voted for me,
then I'm voting for me.

152
00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:12,757
I'm Liz. I'm the bride.
And this is Lucifer.

153
00:08:12,790 --> 00:08:16,228
Bev. Robert's campaign manager.
And we are on a schedule.

154
00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:17,963
I'm Jimmy,
the not famous Barton.

155
00:08:17,995 --> 00:08:19,264
The black sheep Barton.

156
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:21,600
- Nice to meet you, too.
- You, too.

157
00:08:21,632 --> 00:08:23,735
I'm late for an important date,
so, I'm gone.

158
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:25,704
Thank you, again, for the
best man thing.

159
00:08:25,737 --> 00:08:27,973
- It means a lot.
- Absolu...

160
00:08:28,005 --> 00:08:30,709
- Leave.
- I won't let you down.

161
00:08:31,742 --> 00:08:33,812
Oh!

162
00:08:33,845 --> 00:08:35,247
- Sorry about that.
- Go-go-go-go.

163
00:08:35,279 --> 00:08:37,048
- I got it.
- Thank you. Thank you.

164
00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:40,019
- My brother.
- At least we know

165
00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:41,921
- you're gonna win.
- How?

166
00:08:41,953 --> 00:08:44,556
Every successful politician
has that train-wreck brother.

167
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:45,925
Do you have anything nice
to say about anyone?

168
00:08:45,957 --> 00:08:47,326
- Yes.
- Who?

169
00:08:47,359 --> 00:08:49,061
- Me. I think I'm terrific.
- Right.

170
00:08:49,094 --> 00:08:50,729
I got a call about a wedding...

171
00:08:50,761 --> 00:08:52,697
Robert, this is the girl
who planned the wedding

172
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:54,165
- that Diane raved about.
- Oh!

173
00:08:54,198 --> 00:08:56,168
Oh, you mean,
my cousin, Tina's wedding.

174
00:08:56,201 --> 00:08:58,202
I didn't <i>plan,</i> plan that.
I just did it as a favor.

175
00:08:58,235 --> 00:09:00,172
Okay, well, I saw the photos
and it was beautiful.

176
00:09:00,205 --> 00:09:04,076
Thanks. So, I'm here
about the florist job?

177
00:09:04,109 --> 00:09:05,677
Ah, no, you're not.

178
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,278
So, we have a florist.
We need a planner.

179
00:09:07,312 --> 00:09:08,781
And the wedding
is in eight days.

180
00:09:08,813 --> 00:09:10,214
Sorry, eight days?

181
00:09:10,248 --> 00:09:12,217
Amazing.
Are you pregnant?

182
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,153
No, no, we've
had this scheduled for a year.

183
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:15,754
- We've just had some...
- Firings.

184
00:09:15,787 --> 00:09:17,221
- Yeah, and some...
- Quittings.

185
00:09:17,254 --> 00:09:19,258
- Disagreements.
- Fifth time's a charm.

186
00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:21,126
I would be the fifth?

187
00:09:21,158 --> 00:09:23,962
We have a few different points
of view about the wedding.

188
00:09:23,995 --> 00:09:26,230
Hey, this should be simple.
You two love each other, right?

189
00:09:26,264 --> 00:09:28,233
Yes.

190
00:09:28,265 --> 00:09:30,168
So,
what's the problem?

191
00:09:30,201 --> 00:09:32,004
What's your
favorite kind of music?

192
00:09:32,037 --> 00:09:33,605
I love classical.

193
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:34,974
Lovely, so Mozart's
"Wedding March."

194
00:09:35,006 --> 00:09:36,375
I'm rock and roll.

195
00:09:36,408 --> 00:09:38,043
Queen. "Crazy Little Thing
Called Love."

196
00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:40,379
- I want it traditional.
- Classic, elegant.

197
00:09:40,412 --> 00:09:42,748
And I want it short.
Just, like, bullshit, bullshit.

198
00:09:42,780 --> 00:09:44,349
I do. I do.
Let's just get to the party.

199
00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:47,219
Rad. So, young, fresh, modern...

200
00:09:47,251 --> 00:09:49,921
So, completely un-newsworthy.

201
00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:51,724
You have to think of
press and TV.

202
00:09:51,756 --> 00:09:54,626
No offense, but
zero percent of my friends

203
00:09:54,659 --> 00:09:56,828
read the society pages
or watch the local news.

204
00:09:56,861 --> 00:10:00,131
But if your candidate
could throw a knockout party,

205
00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:02,867
it will be Instagrammed,
texted, tweeted,

206
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:04,702
YouTube'ed, TikTok'ed.

207
00:10:04,735 --> 00:10:07,673
Robert Barton is...
He's cool. He's relatable.

208
00:10:07,706 --> 00:10:09,774
- Robert, what do you think?
- I think you should

209
00:10:09,807 --> 00:10:11,777
- go with Lawrence.
- And you're not Robert.

210
00:10:11,809 --> 00:10:14,112
Wait, Lawrence Phillips
wants to do it?

211
00:10:14,145 --> 00:10:17,015
Hey, as much as I would love
to have this job, get him.

212
00:10:17,048 --> 00:10:19,283
- I'll bus the tables.
- I just... I don't feel like...

213
00:10:19,317 --> 00:10:21,787
- What was your name again?
- Jessie English.

214
00:10:21,820 --> 00:10:23,389
Oh, I'll be right back.
Excuse me.

215
00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:25,224
Don't I recognize you
from somewhere?

216
00:10:25,256 --> 00:10:26,991
Uh, maybe.

217
00:10:27,024 --> 00:10:29,427
You're the Wedding Trasher,
aren't you?

218
00:10:29,461 --> 00:10:32,163
- Yep.
- You were with that anchorman.

219
00:10:32,197 --> 00:10:35,967
Yeah. I ruined that,
and somebody's wedding.

220
00:10:36,999 --> 00:10:37,669
Thank you for coming,
you're out.

221
00:10:37,702 --> 00:10:40,105
Well, thank you.
Thanks for the time.

222
00:10:40,138 --> 00:10:42,441
Now we're off to a meeting
with the lobster guild.

223
00:10:42,474 --> 00:10:44,777
Okay. So,
can you start right now?

224
00:10:44,809 --> 00:10:46,310
You really want her?

225
00:10:46,344 --> 00:10:48,147
We're in trouble. Okay?

226
00:10:48,179 --> 00:10:49,747
I mean, Diane said she's great.

227
00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,750
She's here. She has a pulse.

228
00:10:51,783 --> 00:10:52,884
Yeah, I want her.

229
00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:54,452
Fine. You're hired.

230
00:10:54,485 --> 00:10:56,154
Don't worry, I won't
hold it against you.

231
00:10:56,187 --> 00:10:57,288
- Thank you.
- Hold what?

232
00:10:57,322 --> 00:10:59,091
- Nothing.
- Not nothing.

233
00:10:59,124 --> 00:11:01,826
- Welcome aboard.
- You won't regret this.

234
00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:03,428
Let's hope not.

235
00:11:03,461 --> 00:11:05,230
- Amazing.
- I know, it's gonna be great.

236
00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:07,199
So, come on, we have, like,
a thousand things to do.

237
00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:08,333
Yes, tell me everything.

238
00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:14,239
As there will be
extensive press coverage,

239
00:11:14,272 --> 00:11:16,108
TV, print, and the Internet,

240
00:11:16,140 --> 00:11:18,110
everyone will arrive in limos.

241
00:11:18,143 --> 00:11:20,479
I'm an environmentalist.
I hate this limo crap.

242
00:11:20,511 --> 00:11:22,113
Is that
other one yours?

243
00:11:22,147 --> 00:11:24,350
- Yep.
- Tell him to take the day off.

244
00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:26,719
Hey!

245
00:11:32,857 --> 00:11:35,426
- Zero emissions.
- Very nice.

246
00:11:35,460 --> 00:11:37,963
- Gainsborough Street, please.
- Whoa. A celebrity.

247
00:11:37,995 --> 00:11:40,031
- Ha, ha, very funny.
- Wedding trasher.

248
00:11:40,065 --> 00:11:42,000
- Okay. We gotta go.
- Do me a favor?

249
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:43,936
Just sit still and
try not to trash my cab.

250
00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:45,403
What is he saying?

251
00:11:45,437 --> 00:11:47,038
He thinks I'm some
kind of famous person.

252
00:11:47,072 --> 00:11:48,841
It's so much easier
if I just say yes.

253
00:11:51,909 --> 00:11:53,745
<i>All right. So,</i>

254
00:11:53,778 --> 00:11:55,447
<i>this how we're gonna do it
on the duck tour.</i>

255
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,149
We're gonna do a little thing
called the quack quack.

256
00:11:57,182 --> 00:11:58,917
Now, my command is,
"What'd it do?"

257
00:11:58,950 --> 00:12:00,886
And after I say,
"What'd it do?" You say...

258
00:12:00,918 --> 00:12:01,886
Quack, quack!

259
00:12:01,919 --> 00:12:03,354
There we go. High five.

260
00:12:03,388 --> 00:12:04,956
All right. What'd it do?

261
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:06,325
Quack, quack.

262
00:12:06,357 --> 00:12:07,825
Just Cinderella... What'd it do?

263
00:12:07,859 --> 00:12:10,095
- Quack, quack.
- Ooh, nice.

264
00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:16,902
The very first lighthouse
was built in 1717,

265
00:12:16,934 --> 00:12:18,369
in the Boston Harbor,

266
00:12:18,403 --> 00:12:21,038
making it the oldest erection
in the nation.

267
00:12:21,072 --> 00:12:23,408
That is, if you
don't count Larry King.

268
00:12:24,975 --> 00:12:27,011
Boom! Nailed it!

269
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:41,093
Hmm.

270
00:12:44,863 --> 00:12:46,098
- Randall?
- Yes, sir?

271
00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:47,132
Measure.

272
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:56,074
Eleven and a half.

273
00:12:56,106 --> 00:12:57,842
- Who?
- Juan.

274
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:59,010
Juan?

275
00:13:01,513 --> 00:13:02,815
Yes, sir?

276
00:13:02,847 --> 00:13:03,848
Eleven and a half.

277
00:13:03,881 --> 00:13:05,416
- No. I...
- Yes.

278
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:07,052
And it's not as if
you've slightly missed

279
00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:08,353
by a 32nd or even a 16th,

280
00:13:08,385 --> 00:13:10,021
but a full half inch.

281
00:13:10,054 --> 00:13:11,556
I could see it
the moment I came in.

282
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:15,060
The entire room
was out of balance.

283
00:13:16,227 --> 00:13:17,929
You're off crystal.

284
00:13:17,962 --> 00:13:21,265
Re-measure all his tables
and put him on salads.

285
00:13:21,298 --> 00:13:23,235
Half an inch, God!

286
00:13:24,369 --> 00:13:26,104
Lawrence!

287
00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:27,572
What are you two doing here?

288
00:13:27,605 --> 00:13:30,107
- Saying hi.
- This is gorgeous.

289
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,543
Yes, well,
gorgeous is what we do,

290
00:13:31,576 --> 00:13:33,010
but I'm right in the middle...

291
00:13:33,043 --> 00:13:34,178
Of an unhappy life?

292
00:13:34,211 --> 00:13:35,514
We were in the neighborhood

293
00:13:35,547 --> 00:13:37,249
and wanted to
say hi to the genius.

294
00:13:37,282 --> 00:13:39,251
Well, yes, hi and goodbye.

295
00:13:39,283 --> 00:13:41,220
You don't have a moment
for your best friends?

296
00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:42,287
Not right now.

297
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,589
Looks pretty good.

298
00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:44,990
"Pretty good"
could get you fired.

299
00:13:45,023 --> 00:13:46,391
Oh, well, I meant...

300
00:13:46,423 --> 00:13:48,526
I frankly don't care
what you meant.

301
00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,429
The centerpiece table
is the signature creation

302
00:13:51,462 --> 00:13:53,097
of every
Lawrence Phillips event.

303
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:56,869
And "pretty good"
is not in our lexicon.

304
00:13:56,902 --> 00:14:00,072
We start at perfect
and we ascend from there.

305
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:02,106
Gonna run one thing by you,
and we're gone.

306
00:14:02,139 --> 00:14:03,908
You haven't had a date
since Beth died.

307
00:14:03,942 --> 00:14:05,376
- Five years ago.
- You're miserable.

308
00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:07,178
- And lonely.
- Yes. Thank you,

309
00:14:07,211 --> 00:14:10,148
Dr. and Mrs. Phil,
but in six hours' time,

310
00:14:10,181 --> 00:14:11,583
I have 500 people
descending on...

311
00:14:11,615 --> 00:14:13,451
- We fixed a lunch for you.
- What?

312
00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:14,552
A blind date.

313
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:17,923
Steve, this is not
the right moment.

314
00:14:17,956 --> 00:14:19,925
It's never the right
moment with you.

315
00:14:19,957 --> 00:14:22,293
So, we thought we'd surprise
you with a dating intervention.

316
00:14:22,326 --> 00:14:23,629
- Ugh!
- She's age appropriate,

317
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:25,430
- charming and beautiful.
- Oh, stop it.

318
00:14:25,462 --> 00:14:26,998
This is not funny.

319
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,167
I would never dream
of going on a blind date.

320
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,336
I hate surprises of any kind.

321
00:14:31,369 --> 00:14:33,939
- That's too bad.
- Why?

322
00:14:33,971 --> 00:14:36,307
Because your blind date
is right now.

323
00:14:36,341 --> 00:14:39,344
- Sara!
- No. No, no.

324
00:14:39,376 --> 00:14:40,378
Okay.

325
00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:44,383
Adios.

326
00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:46,318
- No, look... I can't!
- Good luck!

327
00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:49,955
Ah! Ah!

328
00:14:49,988 --> 00:14:53,091
Oh! Oh, dear. I...

329
00:14:53,124 --> 00:14:56,928
- Are you completely...
- Blind? Yes.

330
00:14:56,961 --> 00:14:58,663
Yes, oh, dear. Completely.

331
00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:02,301
I just, I don't know.
I mean, I came here

332
00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:04,201
to meet a Lawrence,
but instead I...

333
00:15:04,235 --> 00:15:06,605
- Yes, I'm Lawrence.
- Oh.

334
00:15:06,638 --> 00:15:08,473
Oh, my dear own God. So...

335
00:15:08,505 --> 00:15:12,510
You're my date. I'm Sara.

336
00:15:12,543 --> 00:15:14,712
Lawrence Phillips.

337
00:15:14,745 --> 00:15:16,648
Did they not tell you about me?

338
00:15:16,681 --> 00:15:18,550
They mentioned a blind date.

339
00:15:18,582 --> 00:15:21,086
Well, I think
the politically correct term

340
00:15:21,119 --> 00:15:23,555
is "visually impaired" date.

341
00:15:23,587 --> 00:15:26,257
- Sorry.
- So, is lunch still on?

342
00:15:26,291 --> 00:15:29,194
I do apologize, but I'm under
savage pressure here today.

343
00:15:29,226 --> 00:15:31,129
- But I promise, we will...
- Oh, yeah.

344
00:15:31,162 --> 00:15:33,632
...lunch in the future
under slightly less...

345
00:15:33,664 --> 00:15:35,299
hectic circumstances.

346
00:15:35,332 --> 00:15:37,702
Now, if I may escort you out?

347
00:15:37,735 --> 00:15:39,337
- Oh, yeah, okay.
- Ah!

348
00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:41,673
Be careful now.
Easy, Teddy, easy.

349
00:15:41,706 --> 00:15:43,475
That-a boy.

350
00:15:43,508 --> 00:15:46,445
He can't be any worse
at aiming me than you are.

351
00:15:46,477 --> 00:15:47,745
Hah!

352
00:15:47,778 --> 00:15:49,648
Your laugh has
something about it.

353
00:15:49,681 --> 00:15:51,283
It sounds rusty.

354
00:15:51,316 --> 00:15:52,718
How do you mean?

355
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:54,519
It sounds like
you don't do it enough.

356
00:15:54,552 --> 00:15:56,288
- Ah, well...
- Is that it?

357
00:15:56,321 --> 00:15:58,623
Oh, we're fine.

358
00:15:58,655 --> 00:16:02,026
Oh, thank you, so much.
Thank you.

359
00:16:02,059 --> 00:16:03,761
There's a taxi for you.

360
00:16:03,794 --> 00:16:05,129
No, really, I'm fine.

361
00:16:05,163 --> 00:16:07,099
- No. I insist.
- Seriously.

362
00:16:07,131 --> 00:16:09,734
It's no problem at all.

363
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:13,404
Well, I apologize. It's just,
you catch me at a busy time.

364
00:16:13,437 --> 00:16:15,573
Are you handsome?

365
00:16:15,606 --> 00:16:17,141
No, I'm ancient.

366
00:16:18,509 --> 00:16:20,144
What time are you done tonight?

367
00:16:20,177 --> 00:16:22,147
Oh, very late. About eleven.

368
00:16:22,179 --> 00:16:25,416
Oh, that's not late.
That's early, here.

369
00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:27,451
We could have a drink,
or something.

370
00:16:27,485 --> 00:16:29,620
It's in Braille.

371
00:16:29,653 --> 00:16:32,357
It's on the other side here.
No, that side. Yes.

372
00:16:38,596 --> 00:16:39,697
I will call you.

373
00:16:39,730 --> 00:16:41,000
I will answer.

374
00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:44,068
Did you just wave?

375
00:16:44,101 --> 00:16:45,703
- I did not.
- Yes, you did.

376
00:16:45,736 --> 00:16:47,204
I did.

377
00:16:47,238 --> 00:16:50,275
Oh, that's good.

378
00:16:50,307 --> 00:16:53,245
Oh, my goodness, Teddy.

379
00:17:00,652 --> 00:17:02,754
Calm down! Calm down!

380
00:17:02,787 --> 00:17:05,289
All right, take it easy!

381
00:17:05,323 --> 00:17:07,826
Let's just try to
get through this.

382
00:17:07,858 --> 00:17:10,628
I'm Eddie Stone, and
you've accidentally tuned in

383
00:17:10,662 --> 00:17:13,664
to Crash Couples,
a so called game show

384
00:17:13,698 --> 00:17:16,301
based on love,
relationships, dating,

385
00:17:16,334 --> 00:17:18,836
and a whole bunch of other crap
that nobody cares about.

386
00:17:20,538 --> 00:17:22,339
We have whittled down
a thousand contestants

387
00:17:22,373 --> 00:17:24,809
to these nervous twits
who are standing here

388
00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,278
wetting themselves.

389
00:17:28,278 --> 00:17:31,215
Tonight, we'll find out who
will make up the four couples

390
00:17:31,249 --> 00:17:33,785
who will compete
for one million dollars!

391
00:17:38,556 --> 00:17:41,125
The other twelve losers will...

392
00:17:41,159 --> 00:17:43,662
Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!

393
00:17:43,694 --> 00:17:45,830
Can I have Nick Matthews?

394
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,799
Yeah! Oh, yeah!

395
00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:51,803
Nick, nobody wants to see
an old guy on TV.

396
00:17:51,836 --> 00:17:53,838
Me, yes. You, no.

397
00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:56,575
I don't even know how
you got this far. You're out.

398
00:17:56,607 --> 00:17:59,376
Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!

399
00:17:59,410 --> 00:18:00,778
Let's speed this up.

400
00:18:00,811 --> 00:18:04,248
Taylor, Molly,
Howard, Kenny, Elana...

401
00:18:04,281 --> 00:18:06,217
You are out!

402
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:07,519
Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!

403
00:18:07,551 --> 00:18:09,721
You know the old saying,
opposites attract?

404
00:18:09,753 --> 00:18:13,324
BS. I think opposites
actually hate each other.

405
00:18:13,357 --> 00:18:15,793
Let's find out.
Where is Sharon?

406
00:18:15,826 --> 00:18:18,163
- Ah!
- Oh! Whoa!

407
00:18:18,195 --> 00:18:20,531
Does
that say Sharon or Shaq?

408
00:18:20,565 --> 00:18:22,534
- Sharon.
- All right, fine.

409
00:18:22,567 --> 00:18:25,503
Sharon, your opposite is Verne.

410
00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:27,739
Yeah, Verne! Where's Verne?

411
00:18:27,771 --> 00:18:29,473
Where... Ha!

412
00:18:29,507 --> 00:18:31,676
Oh-ho, Jack and the Beanstalk.

413
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:35,180
And we have Gianna and Donald.

414
00:18:35,212 --> 00:18:36,647
Where are you? Oh.

415
00:18:36,681 --> 00:18:39,351
Gianna and...

416
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:41,452
Hoh, he's got
the right to bare arms.

417
00:18:41,486 --> 00:18:44,556
Very nice.
Good luck to the two of you.

418
00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:47,224
All right, next,
Habib and David.

419
00:18:48,893 --> 00:18:51,696
How the heck did we
end up with two guys?

420
00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:53,398
Who's in charge of this show?

421
00:18:53,431 --> 00:18:54,833
- You are.
- I... What?

422
00:18:54,865 --> 00:18:56,300
I... All right.

423
00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:57,568
Screw it.
You guys are together.

424
00:18:57,602 --> 00:18:59,204
See how this works out.

425
00:18:59,237 --> 00:19:01,373
And our last couple

426
00:19:01,405 --> 00:19:05,809
Svetlana, 28 years old,
Russian and an attorney

427
00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:07,711
and a hottie.

428
00:19:07,744 --> 00:19:09,446
- Am I allowed to say, hottie?
- No.

429
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,249
You're a hottie.

430
00:19:11,281 --> 00:19:13,350
Whoever gets her is the
luckiest guy on the planet.

431
00:19:13,384 --> 00:19:15,452
Dream on, loser.
I got this one.

432
00:19:15,486 --> 00:19:18,557
- Your mate is named...
- Jimmy Barton!

433
00:19:18,589 --> 00:19:20,224
- Here he is!
- Ha-ha!

434
00:19:20,258 --> 00:19:21,927
Jimmy Barton.

435
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,263
People often say that
they're attached to each other.

436
00:19:25,296 --> 00:19:26,865
So, we at Crash Couples
thought,

437
00:19:26,897 --> 00:19:30,534
what would happen if
they were actually attached?

438
00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:32,937
Come on!

439
00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:36,208
Lock 'em up! Then,
you'll stay together until

440
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:39,376
you can't take it anymore,
for whatever crazy reason.

441
00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:42,214
And when you finally decide
to break the link...

442
00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:46,785
Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!

443
00:19:46,817 --> 00:19:48,987
So, Shaq, what do you think?

444
00:19:49,019 --> 00:19:50,588
I'm game.

445
00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:53,291
And you, shorty,
how can I help you out?

446
00:19:53,324 --> 00:19:55,460
Take it easy, Eddie,
I got this Amazon.

447
00:19:55,492 --> 00:19:57,494
Oh, he's got this Amazon.

448
00:19:57,528 --> 00:20:00,231
Bring me a stepladder
and some bungee cords.

449
00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:02,267
There you have it,

450
00:20:02,299 --> 00:20:04,970
the four couples who
will compete for $1 million.

451
00:20:06,604 --> 00:20:08,405
Actually, you know what?

452
00:20:08,439 --> 00:20:10,542
Why don't we stop here
and get a coffee real quick?

453
00:20:10,575 --> 00:20:11,776
- Sure.
- Yeah.

454
00:20:11,808 --> 00:20:13,612
Oh look,
she didn't trash my cab.

455
00:20:13,644 --> 00:20:15,713
Shut it! Uh, so,

456
00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:18,250
I'll need a contact
for the florist and the band.

457
00:20:18,282 --> 00:20:20,317
Yes. Florist, yes.
We don't have a band yet,

458
00:20:20,351 --> 00:20:22,887
- but we have to talk about it.
- Jessie. Oh, my God!

459
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:27,425
Wow! Hi. This is
my cousin, Tina, who we...

460
00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:29,427
- Oh!
- And, and this is Liz.

461
00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:31,630
Wait, hi. I just saw the photos
from your wedding

462
00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:32,931
and it was, like, amazing.

463
00:20:32,963 --> 00:20:34,598
Yeah. Well,
that's thanks to Jessie.

464
00:20:34,632 --> 00:20:36,534
Oh, I just helped out, really.

465
00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:37,902
Bull. She did the whole thing.

466
00:20:37,934 --> 00:20:39,703
Yeah. That's what I heard.

467
00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:41,506
- And now she's planning mine.
- That's great!

468
00:20:41,538 --> 00:20:42,807
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

469
00:20:42,839 --> 00:20:44,541
- Come sit with us.
- No, we kind of

470
00:20:44,575 --> 00:20:46,510
- have a scheduled fitting...
- No, we're cool.

471
00:20:46,544 --> 00:20:47,946
Yeah, we're good.

472
00:20:47,979 --> 00:20:49,547
- What was your name?
- It's Meg.

473
00:20:49,579 --> 00:20:51,548
Meg, okay. Liz.
Nice to meet you, too.

474
00:20:51,582 --> 00:20:53,852
Hey, guys, you
want some drinks?

475
00:20:53,884 --> 00:20:55,819
A Margarita Patrón,
salt, rocks.

476
00:20:55,853 --> 00:20:58,023
Okay. I'm sorry, are you...?

477
00:20:58,056 --> 00:20:59,723
Yes. It's me.
The wedding trasher.

478
00:20:59,757 --> 00:21:01,960
We can sit in the back
if that's easier for you.

479
00:21:01,992 --> 00:21:06,330
Ah, no, I was just gonna see
if you guys wanted some menus.

480
00:21:06,364 --> 00:21:08,967
- Uh, yeah. Menus would be good.
- Okay.

481
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,368
Okay. I've heard
"wedding trasher" twice, now.

482
00:21:11,402 --> 00:21:13,438
You're gonna have to
forgive my cousin. She's...

483
00:21:13,471 --> 00:21:15,606
- Aggressive?
- Mm, more like competitive.

484
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,442
- She's super competitive.
- Can't lose.

485
00:21:17,474 --> 00:21:18,909
- To anyone.
- Ever.

486
00:21:18,942 --> 00:21:20,511
Which is why she's
working on weddings

487
00:21:20,545 --> 00:21:21,846
instead of getting
married herself.

488
00:21:21,878 --> 00:21:23,548
- Mm-hmm. And...
- Makes sense.

489
00:21:23,580 --> 00:21:24,915
- You have to see this.
- No-no-no!

490
00:21:24,949 --> 00:21:26,618
Hold on.

491
00:21:26,651 --> 00:21:28,687
This has over seven and
a half million views.

492
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,422
Wait for it. Yeah.

493
00:21:31,756 --> 00:21:33,325
No...

494
00:21:33,357 --> 00:21:35,426
- Oh!
- Oh, my!

495
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:36,694
Wait, is that Perry Blake?

496
00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:38,563
- Mm-hmm.
- Yep, right there.

497
00:21:38,596 --> 00:21:41,965
You dropped a Channel Seven
news anchorman into a lake?

498
00:21:41,999 --> 00:21:43,701
Is he gonna sue you?

499
00:21:43,734 --> 00:21:46,603
I'm pretty sure my
legal responsibility ended

500
00:21:46,636 --> 00:21:49,073
once I granted his request
to return him to the ground

501
00:21:49,106 --> 00:21:51,809
- as soon as possible.
- Oh, Jessie!

502
00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:55,647
But I am, now and forever,
the wedding trasher.

503
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,450
- So, I'm just gonna...
- Wait, where are you going?

504
00:22:00,017 --> 00:22:02,086
- I'm just gonna go.
- What?

505
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:03,987
I know you don't need me
or my bad press.

506
00:22:04,020 --> 00:22:05,856
- What are you...
- So, I'm gonna make it simple.

507
00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:07,792
No, no, I think that's funny.

508
00:22:07,825 --> 00:22:10,862
Okay, you're an ass-kicker.
Just kick ass for me. Just...

509
00:22:10,894 --> 00:22:13,565
I don't know, pretend my
wedding is a guy, or something.

510
00:22:13,597 --> 00:22:16,067
I'm serious. Sit down.

511
00:22:16,099 --> 00:22:19,002
- Seriously, it's gonna be fine.
- Welcome back.

512
00:22:19,036 --> 00:22:20,971
In the meantime,
let's maybe replay that?

513
00:22:21,005 --> 00:22:22,440
- Oh, God!
- I will pay extra

514
00:22:22,472 --> 00:22:23,674
for you to do that
at my wedding.

515
00:22:23,708 --> 00:22:24,843
Do it in slo-mo.

516
00:22:24,875 --> 00:22:26,543
All right. So, that ends

517
00:22:26,576 --> 00:22:28,445
this edition of
the why book the duck tour,

518
00:22:28,479 --> 00:22:30,548
and drag me along.
So now, I get to drag her

519
00:22:30,580 --> 00:22:32,015
to Fenway Park tonight.

520
00:22:33,851 --> 00:22:35,887
- What'd it do?
- Quack, quack.

521
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,689
You were doing it great
all morning

522
00:22:37,721 --> 00:22:39,490
and now you're messing it up.
What'd it do?

523
00:22:39,523 --> 00:22:40,991
- Quack, quack!
- Yes!

524
00:22:41,025 --> 00:22:44,729
Okay. Everyone get off.
Leave, it's over.

525
00:22:44,761 --> 00:22:46,597
Uh, Cinderella. Not you.

526
00:22:46,631 --> 00:22:48,432
I need one more dance
before midnight.

527
00:22:50,201 --> 00:22:51,970
Oh, Captain, you're so funny!

528
00:22:52,002 --> 00:22:53,804
- Yeah. Thank you.
- I just wanna...

529
00:22:53,837 --> 00:22:55,807
Excuse me.
Sorry, comin' through.

530
00:22:55,839 --> 00:22:57,074
Whoa, one second.

531
00:22:57,107 --> 00:22:59,510
Let me just see.

532
00:23:05,849 --> 00:23:07,751
Excuse me. Captain Ritchie?

533
00:23:07,785 --> 00:23:09,854
- Just Ritchie.
- Hi, I'm Gail Lovejoy.

534
00:23:09,886 --> 00:23:12,589
I'm a reporter
from WHG Channel Seven.

535
00:23:12,623 --> 00:23:14,692
I just took my parents
on your tour,

536
00:23:14,724 --> 00:23:16,126
and we really enjoyed it.

537
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,430
Thank you, guys.
Thank you for coming.

538
00:23:18,462 --> 00:23:20,531
I would love to do
a local color piece on you.

539
00:23:20,565 --> 00:23:22,066
It sounds great,
but I'm not sure

540
00:23:22,098 --> 00:23:23,500
how funny I'd be right now.

541
00:23:23,534 --> 00:23:24,836
Oh, it wouldn't be today.

542
00:23:24,868 --> 00:23:26,703
Here, I'll give you my card.

543
00:23:26,737 --> 00:23:29,641
So, just give me a call
and we'll set up a time.

544
00:23:29,673 --> 00:23:31,977
- All right. Thank you.
- Thanks.

545
00:23:34,144 --> 00:23:36,213
Okay, folks.

546
00:23:36,247 --> 00:23:39,050
Who's ready for
the historical, hysterical,

547
00:23:39,083 --> 00:23:41,853
completely inaccurate, but
who cares about facts anyway,

548
00:23:41,885 --> 00:23:44,423
Captain Ritchie Duck Tour?
Come on, step right up.

549
00:23:56,968 --> 00:23:58,603
Ah.

550
00:23:58,635 --> 00:24:00,038
That's gonna take
some getting used to.

551
00:24:00,070 --> 00:24:01,673
Yes. Come.

552
00:24:01,705 --> 00:24:02,840
That way? Okay.

553
00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:04,041
Wait, hold on.

554
00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:06,545
Okay. Ow!

555
00:24:08,712 --> 00:24:12,483
Wait... Ah! Thank you.

556
00:24:12,517 --> 00:24:14,251
What?

557
00:24:14,285 --> 00:24:16,187
We're not here.
We're with the show.

558
00:24:16,220 --> 00:24:18,756
Just be natural.
We're not here.

559
00:24:18,788 --> 00:24:20,759
- How does this...
- No, just... not here.

560
00:24:24,228 --> 00:24:25,763
I got it.

561
00:24:25,796 --> 00:24:26,865
Thank you.

562
00:24:26,897 --> 00:24:28,131
After you.

563
00:24:33,703 --> 00:24:35,005
Oh! Ah.

564
00:24:35,038 --> 00:24:36,540
Oh, boy.

565
00:24:36,574 --> 00:24:38,076
Sorry. I got it.

566
00:24:38,108 --> 00:24:40,077
You're wondering about this.

567
00:24:40,111 --> 00:24:41,946
It's a love chain.

568
00:24:41,979 --> 00:24:43,715
Newest thing.
We can't be apart.

569
00:24:43,748 --> 00:24:45,149
And the video crew...

570
00:24:45,182 --> 00:24:46,651
- We're not here.
- They're not here.

571
00:24:46,683 --> 00:24:49,186
I'll have a beer
and Svetlana...

572
00:24:49,220 --> 00:24:50,489
Vodka.

573
00:24:53,590 --> 00:24:55,158
So, Svetlana,
tell me about you.

574
00:24:55,192 --> 00:24:56,760
Where did you go to law school?

575
00:24:56,794 --> 00:24:58,096
- Harvard.
- I went to Harvard.

576
00:24:58,128 --> 00:24:59,997
I meant the University of Yale.

577
00:25:00,030 --> 00:25:02,834
Excuse me. Natasha! It's Bert!

578
00:25:02,866 --> 00:25:04,034
I'm no Natasha.

579
00:25:04,067 --> 00:25:06,738
It's Bert, from Saturday night.

580
00:25:06,770 --> 00:25:08,940
- Wrong person.
- You're not Natasha?

581
00:25:08,972 --> 00:25:10,807
Well, you must
have a twin, then.

582
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,210
No twin. Goodbye.

583
00:25:13,243 --> 00:25:15,012
All right, well,
have a good night.

584
00:25:17,147 --> 00:25:18,916
So, what kind of law
do you practice?

585
00:25:22,118 --> 00:25:25,923
<i>♪ Doctor give me the medicine ♪</i>

586
00:25:28,025 --> 00:25:32,130
<i>♪ And you'll see
I've got this addiction ♪</i>

587
00:25:33,864 --> 00:25:36,067
<i>♪ It keeps me
Crawling back again ♪</i>

588
00:25:36,099 --> 00:25:39,770
<i>♪ It keeps me
Crawling back again ♪</i>

589
00:25:42,239 --> 00:25:44,174
Thank you! Thank you!

590
00:25:44,208 --> 00:25:46,911
We're gonna take a short
beer break, then a piss break.

591
00:25:46,943 --> 00:25:47,979
And another beer break.

592
00:25:52,682 --> 00:25:54,586
- Hey!
- Come here, baby.

593
00:25:54,618 --> 00:25:56,853
You killed it! Oh!

594
00:25:56,886 --> 00:25:58,155
- Hey, Mack.
- Yo!

595
00:25:58,189 --> 00:25:59,724
Somebody I want
you to meet, Yoni.

596
00:25:59,757 --> 00:26:00,858
- Hi.
- Oh, hey.

597
00:26:00,891 --> 00:26:02,192
- Yoni.
- Mack.

598
00:26:02,226 --> 00:26:03,828
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

599
00:26:03,861 --> 00:26:04,963
How do you guys
know each other?

600
00:26:04,996 --> 00:26:06,097
We met in New York.

601
00:26:06,130 --> 00:26:08,066
When you went
three months ago?

602
00:26:08,098 --> 00:26:09,166
Like four and a half.

603
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,835
Wait, you guys want some beer?

604
00:26:10,867 --> 00:26:12,604
- Yeah, that'd be great.
- Yes, thank you.

605
00:26:12,636 --> 00:26:14,938
She's cute.
Is her name really Yoni?

606
00:26:14,971 --> 00:26:16,307
- Yes.
- Like the...

607
00:26:16,339 --> 00:26:18,742
She's a performance artist.

608
00:26:18,776 --> 00:26:21,045
How long have you guys
been seeing each other?

609
00:26:21,077 --> 00:26:23,080
Kinda since New York, yeah.

610
00:26:23,114 --> 00:26:25,783
I don't wanna sound like
a chick or anything,

611
00:26:25,816 --> 00:26:27,218
but if I was banging a girl...

612
00:26:27,250 --> 00:26:28,853
Uh-huh. We're not just banging.

613
00:26:28,885 --> 00:26:30,087
Is it serious?

614
00:26:31,821 --> 00:26:34,191
- Maybe.
- Ah-ha-hoh!

615
00:26:34,224 --> 00:26:35,759
Congrats, dude, that's awesome.

616
00:26:35,792 --> 00:26:37,160
Thank you.

617
00:26:37,193 --> 00:26:39,297
Yeah. Is it odd
you didn't tell me?

618
00:26:39,329 --> 00:26:41,165
No.

619
00:26:43,733 --> 00:26:45,202
- Here.
- Thank you.

620
00:26:45,236 --> 00:26:46,971
- You're welcome.
- Thank you. Cheers.

621
00:26:47,003 --> 00:26:48,606
- Cheers, guys.
- Cheers.

622
00:26:51,776 --> 00:26:53,678
Could you
do the walk one more time?

623
00:26:53,711 --> 00:26:55,078
- What?
- We didn't get it.

624
00:26:55,112 --> 00:26:56,648
I thought this
was a reality show?

625
00:26:56,681 --> 00:26:58,016
It is, completely real.

626
00:26:58,048 --> 00:26:59,150
So, why do we need to...

627
00:26:59,182 --> 00:27:00,684
Could you do the walk up again?

628
00:27:00,718 --> 00:27:02,120
- Okay. Again.
- Thank you.

629
00:27:14,765 --> 00:27:16,868
There's my baby boy.

630
00:27:16,901 --> 00:27:18,769
What a nice dog.

631
00:27:20,136 --> 00:27:21,338
Don't mind him.

632
00:27:21,372 --> 00:27:23,106
His bite is worse
than his bark.

633
00:27:23,140 --> 00:27:25,176
You mean his bark
is worse than his bite?

634
00:27:25,209 --> 00:27:27,845
No, his bite is worse.

635
00:27:27,877 --> 00:27:31,314
So, how are we going to
organize the sleeping?

636
00:27:31,347 --> 00:27:35,185
We lie down, we shutting
our eyes and be sleeping.

637
00:27:35,219 --> 00:27:37,020
Svetlana,
you are amazingly beautiful.

638
00:27:37,054 --> 00:27:39,190
- Thank you.
- Can I pee somewhere?

639
00:27:39,222 --> 00:27:40,191
Okay.

640
00:27:40,223 --> 00:27:41,759
Thanks. Oh...

641
00:27:43,059 --> 00:27:45,929
Oh. Oh, uh...

642
00:27:47,230 --> 00:27:49,232
Can I just get
a little bit of privacy?

643
00:27:49,266 --> 00:27:51,302
Why? Do you think
I never before seen peeing?

644
00:27:51,335 --> 00:27:53,203
No, it's not that. Of course...

645
00:27:53,237 --> 00:27:55,473
I've seen bigger ones
and littler ones.

646
00:27:55,506 --> 00:27:58,109
- Ah, thank you.
- You brush your teeth?

647
00:27:58,142 --> 00:28:00,978
Ah, I didn't get a brush.
I'll get one in the morning.

648
00:28:01,010 --> 00:28:02,279
Here.

649
00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:04,248
- No, that's okay.
- I no sick.

650
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,084
It's not that. I just...

651
00:28:06,116 --> 00:28:07,851
- Don't be pussy.
- Okay.

652
00:28:18,461 --> 00:28:19,730
Good.

653
00:28:26,871 --> 00:28:29,107
- Hello.
- It's me. It's eleven o'clock.

654
00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:30,508
- <i>Wow!
- <i>What?</i>

655
00:28:30,540 --> 00:28:32,844
Well, Jody never told me
you were so punctual.

656
00:28:32,876 --> 00:28:34,345
<i>Ha-ha-ha.</i>

657
00:28:34,377 --> 00:28:36,913
- Teasing me again.
- <i>Yes, I am.</i>

658
00:28:36,946 --> 00:28:38,415
<i>Well, it's a bit late.</i>

659
00:28:38,449 --> 00:28:40,451
- And?
- I've had a long day

660
00:28:40,483 --> 00:28:43,287
and I'm not my best
at this time of night.

661
00:28:43,319 --> 00:28:44,922
I think if we're
gonna get together,

662
00:28:44,954 --> 00:28:46,456
I should be at my best.

663
00:28:46,490 --> 00:28:48,893
Oh, so you're
saving the worst for the last?

664
00:28:48,925 --> 00:28:50,794
Well, yeah, you could say that.

665
00:28:50,827 --> 00:28:52,963
- So, you're bailing on me?
- No! Not... I'm not...

666
00:28:52,997 --> 00:28:54,966
- You're jilting me?
- No, I'm not jilting...

667
00:28:54,999 --> 00:28:56,467
You're stiffing me.
You're ghosting me.

668
00:28:56,500 --> 00:28:57,835
You're wimping out, whatever.

669
00:28:57,867 --> 00:28:59,202
<i>It's late. I'm tired.</i>

670
00:28:59,236 --> 00:29:01,205
Best I call you tomorrow
and make a date then.

671
00:29:01,238 --> 00:29:02,539
Well, don't call too early

672
00:29:02,573 --> 00:29:04,809
because you know,
I do have archery class.

673
00:29:04,842 --> 00:29:06,076
Ha!

674
00:29:07,211 --> 00:29:08,246
Was that a "ha"?

675
00:29:08,278 --> 00:29:10,013
Um, yeah, it was.

676
00:29:10,047 --> 00:29:12,383
<i>Oh, no, listen.
Listen, very carefully.</i>

677
00:29:12,415 --> 00:29:14,184
Find another "ha,"
put the two together,

678
00:29:14,218 --> 00:29:15,820
and you got yourself a laugh.

679
00:29:15,853 --> 00:29:18,923
Very funny. Yeah.
I'll practice that.

680
00:29:18,955 --> 00:29:20,357
Okay.

681
00:29:20,391 --> 00:29:22,560
So, what time
should I call you?

682
00:29:22,593 --> 00:29:24,162
Oh, 10:36.

683
00:29:24,194 --> 00:29:27,063
Oh! I think I'm busy
at 10:36, but...

684
00:29:27,096 --> 00:29:29,901
I might have a gap at 10:37.

685
00:29:29,933 --> 00:29:31,269
Yeah. Ha!

686
00:29:35,605 --> 00:29:36,973
Olga!

687
00:29:37,007 --> 00:29:38,109
- Shit!
- What?

688
00:29:38,142 --> 00:29:40,044
- Quick!
- Olga!

689
00:29:40,076 --> 00:29:42,012
- Coming!
- Open the fucking door!

690
00:29:42,046 --> 00:29:44,481
What?
Why are you doing that?

691
00:29:44,515 --> 00:29:47,418
- Open the door!
- Coming! I'm coming!

692
00:29:47,451 --> 00:29:49,086
- Ow!
- Open the door!

693
00:29:49,118 --> 00:29:50,821
Coming!

694
00:29:50,855 --> 00:29:53,391
Olga, why do you
not open the freaking door?

695
00:29:53,423 --> 00:29:55,292
I was asleep, what you think?!

696
00:29:55,326 --> 00:29:56,795
Take a pee!

697
00:29:58,561 --> 00:30:01,131
Ugh! Ah!

698
00:30:05,001 --> 00:30:06,537
What's the problem?
Who is that?!

699
00:30:06,569 --> 00:30:09,139
Get under the bed! Very sorry!

700
00:30:11,275 --> 00:30:14,011
Come here, my little pirogue.

701
00:30:14,044 --> 00:30:16,047
You're drunk. Go home.

702
00:30:16,079 --> 00:30:17,247
Ah, gimme kiss.

703
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,349
I have no kisses
for drunk people.

704
00:30:19,383 --> 00:30:21,184
Kisses. Come on.

705
00:30:21,218 --> 00:30:22,452
We've been over this...

706
00:30:22,486 --> 00:30:24,021
Oh!

707
00:30:24,054 --> 00:30:25,857
Not open for business!

708
00:30:25,890 --> 00:30:27,391
Please,
gimme me big hug.

709
00:30:30,294 --> 00:30:31,929
You open.

710
00:30:31,961 --> 00:30:33,865
It's not even
open for discussion!

711
00:30:39,403 --> 00:30:41,873
It wasn't history that
called them the Minutemen,

712
00:30:41,905 --> 00:30:43,173
it was their wives.

713
00:30:45,108 --> 00:30:46,910
Are you a Yankees fan?

714
00:30:46,943 --> 00:30:50,147
What's the difference
between a Yankee and a baby?

715
00:30:51,515 --> 00:30:53,384
A baby stops crying
after a while.

716
00:30:53,416 --> 00:30:54,584
Boom! Got him!

717
00:30:58,288 --> 00:31:01,025
Oh, Victor.
Victor, left, left, left, left.

718
00:31:08,365 --> 00:31:13,104
Um, sorry about that,
I thought I saw someone I knew.

719
00:31:13,136 --> 00:31:14,672
Well, actually,
I have a question.

720
00:31:14,704 --> 00:31:17,407
Have any of you seen, um...

721
00:31:17,441 --> 00:31:21,312
a girl with a glass slipper
tattoo on her neck?

722
00:31:21,345 --> 00:31:25,383
Asking because she actually
did one of my tours, and...

723
00:31:27,116 --> 00:31:30,355
She was real magical.
She had a wonderful smile.

724
00:31:31,555 --> 00:31:32,990
She's about this tall.

725
00:31:34,357 --> 00:31:37,028
She left this.

726
00:31:41,365 --> 00:31:44,402
All right, so, yes, if you
see the tavern over there,

727
00:31:44,434 --> 00:31:47,971
Betty Ross actually
drew the first image

728
00:31:48,005 --> 00:31:49,707
of the American flag

729
00:31:49,740 --> 00:31:52,943
on a cocktail napkin. What!

730
00:31:57,114 --> 00:31:58,649
Yoo-hoo.

731
00:31:58,682 --> 00:32:00,183
Ah! What?

732
00:32:00,217 --> 00:32:01,719
Is safe.

733
00:32:01,751 --> 00:32:03,287
- He's gone?
- Yes.

734
00:32:03,319 --> 00:32:04,288
Come out.

735
00:32:06,222 --> 00:32:07,390
Who the hell was that?

736
00:32:07,423 --> 00:32:08,591
- Nobody.
- Nobody?

737
00:32:08,625 --> 00:32:10,528
- Nobody.
- Is that a wig?

738
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:12,562
- No, it's my hair.
- But you're a brunette.

739
00:32:12,596 --> 00:32:15,633
No, that is wig. That's
classier for the TV show.

740
00:32:15,665 --> 00:32:17,100
Ooh.

741
00:32:19,536 --> 00:32:21,005
- You have a roommate?
- No.

742
00:32:21,038 --> 00:32:22,306
You have to be at work today?

743
00:32:22,338 --> 00:32:23,273
No, maybe tonight, later.

744
00:32:23,307 --> 00:32:25,041
You have night court?

745
00:32:25,075 --> 00:32:27,278
No, I haven't been to that one
since last year.

746
00:32:27,310 --> 00:32:29,446
What kind of law
do you practice again?

747
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,481
No practice. I was arrested.

748
00:32:31,515 --> 00:32:33,184
- For what?
- Dancing.

749
00:32:33,217 --> 00:32:35,152
- You're a dancer?
- Yes.

750
00:32:35,184 --> 00:32:37,053
- Ballet?
- No.

751
00:32:37,086 --> 00:32:38,455
- Broadway?
- Exotic.

752
00:32:38,489 --> 00:32:40,156
- Stripper?
- Exotic.

753
00:32:40,190 --> 00:32:43,661
- So, you're not Svetlana?
- Just for the TV show.

754
00:32:43,693 --> 00:32:45,695
- And you're not Natasha?
- Just for the dancing.

755
00:32:45,729 --> 00:32:47,064
Of course, for the dancing.

756
00:32:47,096 --> 00:32:48,699
You're blonde, not a brunette.

757
00:32:48,731 --> 00:32:51,201
Not a lawyer, but a stripper,
and Zhopa is your pimp.

758
00:32:51,234 --> 00:32:53,436
Do not say that.

759
00:32:53,470 --> 00:32:55,373
I am a dancer, not a hooker.

760
00:32:55,405 --> 00:32:57,407
I'm sorry. I'm just
trying to figure it out.

761
00:32:57,441 --> 00:32:59,576
Zhopa is managing club
where I'm working.

762
00:32:59,609 --> 00:33:01,144
He's dangerous person.

763
00:33:01,178 --> 00:33:02,546
Zhopa mafia?

764
00:33:02,578 --> 00:33:03,780
No.

765
00:33:03,814 --> 00:33:05,115
Yes.

766
00:33:05,148 --> 00:33:06,683
Perfect.

767
00:33:06,717 --> 00:33:09,053
We can no let him
knowing about this.

768
00:33:09,086 --> 00:33:11,322
- Or he'll kill you?
- Us.

769
00:33:11,355 --> 00:33:13,223
Olga.

770
00:33:13,257 --> 00:33:17,061
Olga, did you ever consider
the very slight possibility

771
00:33:17,094 --> 00:33:18,662
that he might find out about us

772
00:33:18,694 --> 00:33:21,031
when the show goes on
television all over America?!

773
00:33:21,065 --> 00:33:23,167
- No.
- I'm getting out of here.

774
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,068
I am so screwed.
What were you thinking?

775
00:33:25,102 --> 00:33:26,670
I was thinking that
I winning the money

776
00:33:26,702 --> 00:33:29,272
and escaping away.
A million dollars.

777
00:33:29,306 --> 00:33:32,809
Maybe you no needing it,
but I am! I am!

778
00:33:32,843 --> 00:33:34,745
I need it too, badly.

779
00:33:34,778 --> 00:33:36,747
I'm a gambler.

780
00:33:36,779 --> 00:33:41,285
I owe some bad guys some
very large amounts of money.

781
00:33:41,317 --> 00:33:43,253
And if I don't get it,
I'm dead.

782
00:33:43,287 --> 00:33:45,489
So, if I quit, they kill me.

783
00:33:45,521 --> 00:33:47,391
And if I stay,
your guy kills me.

784
00:33:55,798 --> 00:33:58,102
Yes?

785
00:33:58,134 --> 00:33:59,836
Hi.

786
00:33:59,869 --> 00:34:01,772
- Can I help you?
- I'm Jessie.

787
00:34:03,539 --> 00:34:06,676
I ran into you, yesterday,
out front of the church.

788
00:34:06,710 --> 00:34:08,179
Oh.

789
00:34:08,211 --> 00:34:09,813
Yes, how could I forget?

790
00:34:09,847 --> 00:34:11,782
Must be the concussion.

791
00:34:11,815 --> 00:34:14,418
Yeah, I am really sorry
about that. Are you okay?

792
00:34:14,451 --> 00:34:16,320
Still alive.

793
00:34:16,353 --> 00:34:18,155
Hanging on by my fingernails.

794
00:34:20,157 --> 00:34:23,294
So, I'm the new planner
for Liz and Robert's wedding.

795
00:34:23,327 --> 00:34:24,695
What?

796
00:34:24,728 --> 00:34:25,863
You?!

797
00:34:25,896 --> 00:34:28,164
I did tell them
you should do it.

798
00:34:28,197 --> 00:34:30,534
Yeah, well, I should.
But I'm not.

799
00:34:32,168 --> 00:34:35,138
So, how can I help you?

800
00:34:35,172 --> 00:34:38,175
Well, I'm very glad to hear
there's no hard feelings.

801
00:34:38,208 --> 00:34:39,643
I didn't say that.

802
00:34:42,813 --> 00:34:46,650
So, I ran into
a couple of slight hiccups

803
00:34:46,682 --> 00:34:48,853
with your floor plan
for the reception.

804
00:34:48,885 --> 00:34:51,387
No worries. I redrew it.

805
00:34:51,420 --> 00:34:53,156
Why? It's perfect.

806
00:34:53,190 --> 00:34:55,559
Perfect, except,

807
00:34:55,592 --> 00:34:59,130
there wasn't room for the band.

808
00:34:59,163 --> 00:35:00,831
Well, there is no band.

809
00:35:00,864 --> 00:35:02,333
There's a band.

810
00:35:02,365 --> 00:35:05,235
No, my dear.

811
00:35:05,268 --> 00:35:08,705
There is not a band,
there's a string quartet.

812
00:35:08,739 --> 00:35:10,574
- Oh.
- There, in the corner.

813
00:35:10,606 --> 00:35:13,744
Not anymore, it moved to
the church for the ceremony.

814
00:35:13,777 --> 00:35:15,278
Because?

815
00:35:15,311 --> 00:35:17,647
Because there's a band,

816
00:35:17,681 --> 00:35:20,150
per the bride,
for the reception.

817
00:35:20,184 --> 00:35:21,485
It's on a big stage,

818
00:35:21,518 --> 00:35:23,353
and there was
no room for the stage.

819
00:35:23,387 --> 00:35:25,189
So, the answer
was really simple.

820
00:35:25,222 --> 00:35:27,391
I just shifted the tables,
slid the bar

821
00:35:27,423 --> 00:35:29,192
and finally,
got rid of that big thingy.

822
00:35:30,494 --> 00:35:34,164
That big thingy
is the centerpiece table.

823
00:35:35,699 --> 00:35:37,501
Right. It was blocking
everybody's view. So...

824
00:35:37,534 --> 00:35:39,804
No, no, no,
that is my signature.

825
00:35:43,206 --> 00:35:45,542
What if we move it
to the entrance

826
00:35:45,576 --> 00:35:47,177
so that everyone sees it
as they come in?

827
00:35:47,210 --> 00:35:50,513
My dear, listen.
Since this is your first,

828
00:35:50,547 --> 00:35:52,449
and surely,
your last opportunity

829
00:35:52,481 --> 00:35:53,951
to be a wedding planner,

830
00:35:53,983 --> 00:35:56,487
why don't you keep your
amateur ideas to yourself

831
00:35:56,519 --> 00:35:58,355
and let the professionals
do it?

832
00:35:58,387 --> 00:36:01,726
The layout is perfect.
We're not gonna change anything.

833
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,295
We'll have no stage

834
00:36:05,329 --> 00:36:08,432
and the centerpiece will stay
exactly where it should be,

835
00:36:08,465 --> 00:36:09,700
in... the... center.

836
00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:17,474
Well, I just came from them,
and this is what they want.

837
00:36:17,507 --> 00:36:20,344
Yeah.

838
00:36:20,376 --> 00:36:22,512
You just run along,
I'll talk to Robert.

839
00:36:23,947 --> 00:36:27,318
Okay. I know you are
a big famous deal,

840
00:36:27,351 --> 00:36:28,852
and I am new at this.

841
00:36:28,885 --> 00:36:30,821
However,
this wedding is not about me.

842
00:36:30,853 --> 00:36:32,388
It's certainly not about you.

843
00:36:32,422 --> 00:36:34,358
Our job here, is to
give the bride and groom

844
00:36:34,391 --> 00:36:36,626
what they truly want.
And if what they truly want

845
00:36:36,659 --> 00:36:39,862
is a Buddhist monk on a trapeze
singing "Stairway to Heaven,"

846
00:36:39,896 --> 00:36:42,666
then that is what they
should get. It's their day.

847
00:36:42,699 --> 00:36:45,501
- Now, don't get hysterical.
- Really?!

848
00:36:45,534 --> 00:36:47,337
Hysterical?

849
00:36:47,371 --> 00:36:49,506
That's what this looks like
to you, is hysterical?

850
00:36:49,539 --> 00:36:50,641
Why? Because I'm a girl?

851
00:36:53,577 --> 00:36:56,380
I don't get hysterical

852
00:36:56,413 --> 00:36:59,617
and I don't lose, ever.

853
00:36:59,650 --> 00:37:01,652
So...

854
00:37:01,684 --> 00:37:03,519
I'm gonna make this work.

855
00:37:03,552 --> 00:37:05,556
If you would like
to work with me on it,

856
00:37:05,588 --> 00:37:08,858
that would be great, otherwise,
it's gonna be so much easier

857
00:37:08,891 --> 00:37:11,861
now that I have figured
out precisely where

858
00:37:11,894 --> 00:37:13,764
you can shove your centerpiece.

859
00:37:17,833 --> 00:37:18,835
It opens in.

860
00:37:20,704 --> 00:37:22,707
That was my second option.

861
00:37:25,809 --> 00:37:28,512
Wait! Wait.

862
00:37:30,947 --> 00:37:32,717
Let me have another look
at your plan.

863
00:37:45,094 --> 00:37:47,330
Give it up. Give it up.

864
00:37:52,001 --> 00:37:55,972
<i>♪ The sign said danger
Beware of thin ice ♪</i>

865
00:37:56,005 --> 00:38:00,009
<i>♪ So, I walked out
And closed my eyes ♪</i>

866
00:38:00,043 --> 00:38:03,347
<i>♪ Safe and warm
On the shoreline ♪</i>

867
00:38:03,380 --> 00:38:07,952
<i>♪ So, why did I
Walk out on thin ice? ♪</i>

868
00:38:09,753 --> 00:38:11,856
<i>♪ Is that cracking I hear? ♪</i>

869
00:38:13,690 --> 00:38:16,960
<i>♪ Is it drowning I fear?... ♪</i>

870
00:38:18,695 --> 00:38:20,731
<i>Make a right turn now.</i>

871
00:38:20,764 --> 00:38:22,700
Good. Good.

872
00:38:24,134 --> 00:38:25,702
I've got the door for you.

873
00:38:25,735 --> 00:38:28,338
Oh, sorry.
Thank you so much. Oh!

874
00:38:28,371 --> 00:38:32,041
<i>♪ I could really get killed ♪</i>

875
00:38:32,074 --> 00:38:36,012
<i>♪ I'm almost certain
That I'll fall through ♪</i>

876
00:38:36,045 --> 00:38:39,916
Oh! Oh, my! I... Oh.

877
00:38:41,885 --> 00:38:44,355
Oh, my...

878
00:38:44,387 --> 00:38:47,458
Ah. So.

879
00:38:47,490 --> 00:38:49,525
Lawrence! Oh, God.
Thank goodness.

880
00:38:49,559 --> 00:38:52,028
Thank God, at least
I wrecked the right office.

881
00:38:52,061 --> 00:38:54,097
It's only a couple of lamps.

882
00:38:54,130 --> 00:38:55,833
-Yeah, I... Oh!

883
00:38:55,865 --> 00:38:57,735
Oh! Ah.

884
00:38:57,768 --> 00:38:59,802
- And a painting.
- You'd think that Teddy and I

885
00:38:59,835 --> 00:39:02,739
would be better at this,
but oh, no, we just...

886
00:39:02,773 --> 00:39:05,108
we just keep
banging into things.

887
00:39:05,141 --> 00:39:06,844
But honestly,
I will pay for this.

888
00:39:06,876 --> 00:39:08,679
No, no, no. Nothing's broken.

889
00:39:08,711 --> 00:39:11,614
Too many lamps anyway.

890
00:39:11,648 --> 00:39:14,084
So, I wasn't expecting you.
What are you...

891
00:39:14,117 --> 00:39:16,653
Well, 10:37, it came and went.

892
00:39:16,686 --> 00:39:18,622
And then 10:38. So,
you know what I did?

893
00:39:18,655 --> 00:39:19,957
I brought us lunch.

894
00:39:19,989 --> 00:39:23,760
Oh, God! I was
supposed to call you.

895
00:39:23,793 --> 00:39:25,562
- That's right. You forgot.
- I'm...

896
00:39:26,829 --> 00:39:28,865
I never forget anything.

897
00:39:28,898 --> 00:39:31,567
Well, I don't think you can
ever say that again, can you?

898
00:39:31,601 --> 00:39:34,104
I'm so angry at myself.

899
00:39:34,137 --> 00:39:36,640
Isn't that my role
as the victim, here?

900
00:39:36,672 --> 00:39:39,642
Yes, well, yeah. Yes,
you should be angry, too.

901
00:39:39,675 --> 00:39:43,012
I was. But then,
I did destroy your office,

902
00:39:43,045 --> 00:39:45,014
so, we're even.

903
00:39:45,047 --> 00:39:48,718
Yes.
Suppose we are.

904
00:39:48,751 --> 00:39:51,121
So, we could either,
I don't know, eat here

905
00:39:51,153 --> 00:39:53,123
or we could eat
outside in the park?

906
00:39:53,155 --> 00:39:59,028
Well, I think it might
be safer in the park.

907
00:39:59,061 --> 00:40:01,431
You're funny.

908
00:40:05,534 --> 00:40:06,836
What is this?

909
00:40:06,869 --> 00:40:08,838
Hang on. You guys wait outside.

910
00:40:08,871 --> 00:40:10,106
Can't do that.

911
00:40:10,139 --> 00:40:12,141
I got a shrink
appointment here.

912
00:40:12,175 --> 00:40:14,044
- Could you just wait outside?
- Ah, no.

913
00:40:14,077 --> 00:40:17,080
Look, this is private,
personal.

914
00:40:17,112 --> 00:40:18,815
And my doctor is very strict.

915
00:40:18,849 --> 00:40:20,751
If I miss my appointment,
I'll lose my slot.

916
00:40:20,784 --> 00:40:22,552
- Just give me an hour.
- No.

917
00:40:22,585 --> 00:40:23,753
- Are you kidding me?
- No.

918
00:40:23,786 --> 00:40:25,621
This contract that you signed,

919
00:40:25,655 --> 00:40:28,057
gives us complete and total
24-hour access to your life

920
00:40:28,090 --> 00:40:29,559
for the duration of the show.

921
00:40:29,592 --> 00:40:31,795
If, at any point,
you deny us that access,

922
00:40:31,827 --> 00:40:33,463
I have the right,
and the obligation,

923
00:40:33,496 --> 00:40:34,831
to set off the alarm,

924
00:40:34,864 --> 00:40:36,899
thereby terminating
your participation

925
00:40:36,932 --> 00:40:38,869
in any and all future episodes
of Crash Couples.

926
00:40:38,902 --> 00:40:42,440
Okay. Good.
Great, fine. Let's go.

927
00:40:45,909 --> 00:40:47,677
I can explain.

928
00:40:47,710 --> 00:40:49,212
- Hello... What's this?
- I can explain.

929
00:40:49,246 --> 00:40:51,215
Have you forgotten about
our boundary rules?

930
00:40:51,248 --> 00:40:53,250
- And you, who are you, sir?
- We're not here.

931
00:40:53,282 --> 00:40:54,817
- Hiya.
- This is highly irregular.

932
00:40:54,851 --> 00:40:56,053
Dr. Offerman, they're fine.

933
00:40:56,085 --> 00:40:57,620
I'm involved in this project,

934
00:40:57,653 --> 00:40:59,121
so, normal session.

935
00:40:59,155 --> 00:41:00,724
No secrets. Please.
Let's just get going.

936
00:41:00,757 --> 00:41:02,693
No secrets. Fine.

937
00:41:02,726 --> 00:41:06,195
So, last week
was clearly revealing.

938
00:41:06,228 --> 00:41:08,731
- How much you pay him?
- Seven hundred. Can we...

939
00:41:08,764 --> 00:41:10,166
- A month?
- An hour.

940
00:41:10,199 --> 00:41:12,101
- Fifty minutes, actually.
- What? That's crazy!

941
00:41:12,135 --> 00:41:13,937
My girlfriend hooker
gets only three-fifty,

942
00:41:13,969 --> 00:41:15,805
and she will screw you
for the whole hour!

943
00:41:15,838 --> 00:41:17,840
This is a bad idea.
Doctor, I'll see you next week.

944
00:41:17,873 --> 00:41:19,242
Ah, textbook avoidance.

945
00:41:19,275 --> 00:41:21,110
Clearly, you're
resisting examining

946
00:41:21,143 --> 00:41:24,146
why you chose to bring a woman
of this type here, today.

947
00:41:24,179 --> 00:41:26,849
- What you mean by that?
- We've been exploring Jimmy's

948
00:41:26,882 --> 00:41:28,918
- sexuality issues.
- This is not...

949
00:41:28,952 --> 00:41:32,256
Sit, Jimmy. He doesn't
having any issues.

950
00:41:32,289 --> 00:41:34,091
Oh, I beg to differ.

951
00:41:34,123 --> 00:41:35,992
There are numerous signs
pointing to

952
00:41:36,025 --> 00:41:38,094
Jimmy's desire
to explore his feminine side.

953
00:41:38,128 --> 00:41:41,532
What?! Now, I'm thinking that
you're the mental case here.

954
00:41:41,565 --> 00:41:44,034
You are hardly qualified.

955
00:41:44,067 --> 00:41:45,869
I'm no qualified,
I am stripper.

956
00:41:45,902 --> 00:41:47,771
I can tell if guy
is straight or homo,

957
00:41:47,804 --> 00:41:49,572
when he pull into
the parking lot.

958
00:41:49,606 --> 00:41:51,542
- Please, let's just...
- I know these things.

959
00:41:51,574 --> 00:41:53,242
Now, let's get out of here.

960
00:41:53,275 --> 00:41:56,812
You might examining why you
sucking so hard on that pipe?

961
00:41:56,846 --> 00:41:59,916
And don't try to
charging Jimmy for this hour.

962
00:42:04,753 --> 00:42:06,690
Wow. You stood up for me.

963
00:42:06,722 --> 00:42:10,059
Of course. You're a good man.
He's Doctor Bullshit.

964
00:42:10,092 --> 00:42:11,795
No one ever stands up for me.

965
00:42:11,827 --> 00:42:13,697
- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.

966
00:42:13,730 --> 00:42:16,800
Last night, when
you and that guy were

967
00:42:16,833 --> 00:42:20,070
- bouncing a lot, were you...
- Oh. Were we doing it?

968
00:42:20,103 --> 00:42:22,306
No, never. He can no do it.

969
00:42:22,338 --> 00:42:25,107
He just hugging and breathing
a lot and falling a-sleeping.

970
00:42:25,141 --> 00:42:28,110
- Oh, okay. Good.
- Why?

971
00:42:28,143 --> 00:42:30,747
Nothing. I just... Nothing.

972
00:42:37,653 --> 00:42:39,088
- Hey, boss.
- Yeah?

973
00:42:39,121 --> 00:42:40,923
Olga.

974
00:42:40,956 --> 00:42:42,159
Stop!

975
00:42:43,827 --> 00:42:45,195
Oh! Oh, dammit.

976
00:42:45,228 --> 00:42:46,630
- What?
- Zhopa.

977
00:42:46,663 --> 00:42:48,032
- What's going on?
- Ah. Oh!

978
00:42:49,231 --> 00:42:51,168
- Oh!
- What the fuck is this?

979
00:42:51,201 --> 00:42:53,137
- I can explain!
- Get in the car!

980
00:42:54,371 --> 00:42:55,771
What is this?

981
00:42:55,804 --> 00:42:58,641
- I-I-I-I...
- Shut up! Get in the car!

982
00:42:58,675 --> 00:43:01,211
- Stop that filming!
- We're not actually here.

983
00:43:05,148 --> 00:43:06,717
Let's go!

984
00:43:06,750 --> 00:43:08,619
You didn't cut the camera,
did you?

985
00:43:08,652 --> 00:43:10,320
- No way!
- Great. Let's follow 'em.

986
00:43:23,233 --> 00:43:24,835
You're quiet. You all right?

987
00:43:24,867 --> 00:43:27,336
Oh, yes. I'm just enjoying...

988
00:43:27,369 --> 00:43:29,672
The view.

989
00:43:29,706 --> 00:43:32,709
Whoa. You're sure forgetful.

990
00:43:32,742 --> 00:43:34,277
And you're funny.

991
00:43:34,309 --> 00:43:36,012
You're changing.

992
00:43:36,045 --> 00:43:38,414
Oh, no-no-no, don't say that.
I hate change.

993
00:43:38,447 --> 00:43:40,083
Change is horrible.

994
00:43:40,115 --> 00:43:42,085
I don't know why
everybody loves change.

995
00:43:43,820 --> 00:43:45,356
How so? I don't understand?

996
00:43:46,956 --> 00:43:50,827
I mean, everything.
Take the telephone.

997
00:43:50,860 --> 00:43:52,963
A hundred years ago,
Alexander Graham Bell

998
00:43:52,996 --> 00:43:55,932
invented it and it worked fine
for all those years.

999
00:43:55,965 --> 00:43:57,300
- You pick it up,
- Yeah.

1000
00:43:57,333 --> 00:44:00,436
and you talk to whoever.
You make a date.

1001
00:44:00,469 --> 00:44:02,438
- You go to the movies, right?
- Uh-huh.

1002
00:44:02,472 --> 00:44:04,807
- Now...
- Uh-huh, okay.

1003
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:08,110
Some bright spark has
invented the cell phone.

1004
00:44:08,143 --> 00:44:10,312
So, everybody,
instead of watching the movie,

1005
00:44:10,346 --> 00:44:13,650
they're calling and texting
and...

1006
00:44:15,284 --> 00:44:16,886
- Well...
- How can that...

1007
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:18,822
How can that be better,
that change, huh?

1008
00:44:18,855 --> 00:44:22,159
Well, that's fine, but too
much order and routine

1009
00:44:22,192 --> 00:44:23,927
and, I don't know, it's like,

1010
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,063
you lose the joy of
chaos and randomness.

1011
00:44:27,097 --> 00:44:28,932
I would have thought
you hated surprises.

1012
00:44:28,965 --> 00:44:30,767
Quite the opposite.
You know what?

1013
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:35,238
They make me feel... alive.

1014
00:44:35,271 --> 00:44:36,373
I love it.

1015
00:44:42,311 --> 00:44:43,846
Are you taking my photograph?

1016
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:45,015
I am.

1017
00:44:45,047 --> 00:44:46,816
Oh, God.

1018
00:44:46,849 --> 00:44:48,250
Why?

1019
00:44:48,284 --> 00:44:50,753
Because I'm a photographer.

1020
00:44:50,786 --> 00:44:53,155
How can
you see what you're taking?

1021
00:44:53,188 --> 00:44:55,759
Well, of course, I don't.

1022
00:44:55,791 --> 00:44:57,760
I shoot what I hear.

1023
00:45:00,028 --> 00:45:01,898
- What you hear?
- Yeah.

1024
00:45:01,931 --> 00:45:03,900
You see, I wasn't always blind.

1025
00:45:05,201 --> 00:45:07,503
I was diagnosed
when I was twenty,

1026
00:45:07,536 --> 00:45:09,438
with Neuromyelitis Optica.

1027
00:45:09,472 --> 00:45:12,409
And then, over
the next seven years, my,

1028
00:45:12,442 --> 00:45:17,447
well, my vision deteriorated
to the point where now,

1029
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:21,318
I can only,
very vaguely, make out

1030
00:45:21,351 --> 00:45:24,454
traces of color and light.

1031
00:45:24,487 --> 00:45:26,789
So, how do you
see the photographs?

1032
00:45:26,822 --> 00:45:29,091
My friend describes
each one to me.

1033
00:45:29,125 --> 00:45:31,260
And then I choose one.

1034
00:45:31,293 --> 00:45:34,864
And then I record what I heard

1035
00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:37,901
and how I felt
the moment I took it.

1036
00:45:37,934 --> 00:45:39,169
- Hm.
- Mm-hmm.

1037
00:45:39,202 --> 00:45:40,837
You're extraordinary.

1038
00:45:40,869 --> 00:45:42,405
Then the viewer walks up,

1039
00:45:44,007 --> 00:45:46,876
presses play, and gets to
experience the moment

1040
00:45:46,909 --> 00:45:49,178
in the different ways
we both do.

1041
00:45:52,882 --> 00:45:54,050
Like you and I, here?

1042
00:45:55,217 --> 00:45:57,353
Yeah. Yeah.

1043
00:45:59,222 --> 00:46:03,527
Like you and I, here.

1044
00:46:03,559 --> 00:46:07,130
<i>♪ Maybe this
time Love is true ♪</i>

1045
00:46:07,163 --> 00:46:10,134
<i>♪ I can skate across with you ♪</i>

1046
00:46:12,168 --> 00:46:17,907
<i>♪ Maybe this thin ice
Is thick enough for two ♪</i>

1047
00:46:20,076 --> 00:46:26,016
<i>♪ Maybe this thin ice
Is thick enough for two ♪</i>

1048
00:46:27,951 --> 00:46:31,086
This is the craziest thing
that I am hearing.

1049
00:46:31,119 --> 00:46:34,523
And you were there the night
that I was visiting her?

1050
00:46:34,556 --> 00:46:37,493
No. I mean, yeah. I had to.

1051
00:46:37,527 --> 00:46:38,994
I didn't hear anything.

1052
00:46:39,027 --> 00:46:41,163
You thinking I am stupid?

1053
00:46:41,197 --> 00:46:43,099
I was under the bed,
it was muffled.

1054
00:46:43,132 --> 00:46:44,568
Take off the chains, kill him.

1055
00:46:44,601 --> 00:46:46,369
No! You can no do this!

1056
00:46:46,402 --> 00:46:48,204
Get off, or I kill you, too.

1057
00:46:48,237 --> 00:46:50,072
No! This is a good man.

1058
00:46:50,106 --> 00:46:52,375
- Are you loving him?
- No.

1059
00:46:52,407 --> 00:46:55,211
- Are you loving me?
- Nyet! Never!

1060
00:46:55,244 --> 00:46:56,846
Kill them both.

1061
00:46:56,880 --> 00:47:01,351
Zhopa! We will losing
one million dollars.

1062
00:47:01,384 --> 00:47:03,887
What? Say this again.

1063
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:06,523
The prize is one million
for the winning.

1064
00:47:06,556 --> 00:47:08,023
You heard of this show?

1065
00:47:08,056 --> 00:47:10,426
Da. On TBS,
Monday nights at ten.

1066
00:47:10,460 --> 00:47:13,128
Funny show. Is Conan's lead-in.

1067
00:47:13,161 --> 00:47:14,297
Do I kill him?

1068
00:47:14,329 --> 00:47:15,865
No.

1069
00:47:15,898 --> 00:47:18,268
We are partners now.

1070
00:47:18,300 --> 00:47:21,438
I am getting sixty percent
of yours monies,

1071
00:47:21,471 --> 00:47:23,072
and eighty percent of yours.

1072
00:47:23,106 --> 00:47:24,875
Eighty? What?
That's a terrible deal!

1073
00:47:24,907 --> 00:47:26,610
You not dying, and making
a hundred thousand dollars

1074
00:47:26,643 --> 00:47:28,345
is great deal.

1075
00:47:28,378 --> 00:47:30,413
Well, you've got
a gun to my head. Literally.

1076
00:47:30,445 --> 00:47:31,614
So, I agree.

1077
00:47:31,648 --> 00:47:33,383
Smart man. Now,

1078
00:47:33,416 --> 00:47:35,652
I am figuring out how
we are winning this contest.

1079
00:47:35,684 --> 00:47:38,087
- Go to work.
- What? Stripping?

1080
00:47:38,121 --> 00:47:39,456
With this?

1081
00:47:39,489 --> 00:47:41,458
Is kinky. You make more monies.

1082
00:47:41,490 --> 00:47:43,592
Leave me alone.

1083
00:47:43,626 --> 00:47:45,562
<i>These modified World War II</i>

1084
00:47:45,594 --> 00:47:47,230
<i>amphibious vehicles</i>

1085
00:47:47,262 --> 00:47:49,365
<i>are a delightful must
for all tourists.</i>

1086
00:47:49,398 --> 00:47:51,634
The past and present
of American history

1087
00:47:51,668 --> 00:47:55,972
are brought to life by
conductors like Captain Richie.

1088
00:47:56,005 --> 00:47:58,340
Interesting fact, because
part of the Boston Harbor

1089
00:47:58,373 --> 00:48:00,643
has been filled in,
the actual site

1090
00:48:00,677 --> 00:48:04,213
of the Boston Tea Party
is right over there.

1091
00:48:04,246 --> 00:48:06,015
And now it's a Starbucks.

1092
00:48:07,416 --> 00:48:09,119
Captain Richie
has been giving

1093
00:48:09,152 --> 00:48:12,389
hysterical historical tours
for over ten years.

1094
00:48:12,422 --> 00:48:15,157
My jokes are older than
most of these buildings.

1095
00:48:15,190 --> 00:48:18,427
So, after all these years
of making people happy,

1096
00:48:18,460 --> 00:48:21,964
Richie fell in love
with one of his passengers.

1097
00:48:21,998 --> 00:48:24,701
Instant lightning bolt love.

1098
00:48:24,733 --> 00:48:26,469
But there's a problem.

1099
00:48:28,170 --> 00:48:30,572
I don't know
who or where she is.

1100
00:48:30,606 --> 00:48:33,443
Since they met, he's been
searching for his Cinderella.

1101
00:48:33,476 --> 00:48:35,412
<i>The only clue is
that she has a tattoo</i>

1102
00:48:35,445 --> 00:48:37,647
<i>of a glass slipper
on her neck.</i>

1103
00:48:37,679 --> 00:48:39,248
More than likely,
she's a tourist

1104
00:48:39,282 --> 00:48:41,050
who's gone back home.

1105
00:48:41,083 --> 00:48:44,119
Never knowing that her
true love could be right here.

1106
00:48:44,152 --> 00:48:48,190
Hmm. Ah. That's so sad.

1107
00:48:48,224 --> 00:48:51,061
Maybe not, because we're
romantics, here at Seven.

1108
00:48:51,094 --> 00:48:53,163
We love lovers.

1109
00:48:53,195 --> 00:48:55,264
So, this Saturday,
we're riding with Ritchie

1110
00:48:55,297 --> 00:48:57,599
to the Nashua Park steps
on the Charles River.

1111
00:48:57,632 --> 00:49:00,736
So, if you're Cinderella,
or if you know her,

1112
00:49:00,769 --> 00:49:03,139
please come join us
at five o'clock

1113
00:49:03,172 --> 00:49:05,407
to meet your Prince Charming.

1114
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:06,976
Thanks, Gail.

1115
00:49:07,010 --> 00:49:09,079
And in baseball,
the Sox had a big day.

1116
00:49:09,112 --> 00:49:11,114
Billy Gersh is
here with highlights

1117
00:49:11,146 --> 00:49:14,183
<i>♪ I punch in this morning
And checkin' my check ♪</i>

1118
00:49:14,217 --> 00:49:16,186
<i>♪ Short again ♪</i>

1119
00:49:16,219 --> 00:49:17,686
<i>♪ Man, what the heck? ♪</i>

1120
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:20,289
<i>♪ They got me
Working overtime ♪</i>

1121
00:49:20,322 --> 00:49:22,192
<i>♪ Every Saturday ♪</i>

1122
00:49:22,224 --> 00:49:24,027
<i>♪ That's wrong
That's screwed up ♪</i>

1123
00:49:24,059 --> 00:49:26,128
<i>♪ Someone's gotta pay ♪</i>

1124
00:49:26,161 --> 00:49:30,065
<i>♪ Let me tell you, Boss
How it's gonna be ♪</i>

1125
00:49:30,099 --> 00:49:33,470
<i>♪ Workin' for you
Ain't workin' for me ♪</i>

1126
00:49:35,237 --> 00:49:36,772
- What do you think?
- They're great!

1127
00:49:36,806 --> 00:49:38,675
Right? Best bar band in town.

1128
00:49:38,708 --> 00:49:40,577
Love 'em!

1129
00:49:40,610 --> 00:49:44,581
<i>♪ Let me tell you, Boss
How it's gonna be ♪</i>

1130
00:49:44,614 --> 00:49:48,617
<i>♪ Workin' for you
Ain't workin' for me! ♪</i>

1131
00:49:51,653 --> 00:49:55,157
Thank you, thank you, guys.
Be back in ten.

1132
00:49:55,190 --> 00:49:56,459
More like 15.

1133
00:49:57,726 --> 00:50:00,763
- Hey, Hi. I'm Jessie.
- Mack.

1134
00:50:00,797 --> 00:50:03,032
I've been watching
you guys for years.

1135
00:50:03,065 --> 00:50:04,768
- I love the band.
- Thank you. Thank you.

1136
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:07,536
My friend, Liz,
at the bar over there,

1137
00:50:07,570 --> 00:50:09,472
is getting married soon,

1138
00:50:09,505 --> 00:50:12,642
and we were hoping to hire
you guys to play the wedding.

1139
00:50:12,675 --> 00:50:14,344
Oh, we don't play weddings.

1140
00:50:14,376 --> 00:50:16,779
Well, it's really not
a wedding, per se.

1141
00:50:16,813 --> 00:50:20,150
It's crazy party
after a wedding.

1142
00:50:20,182 --> 00:50:21,751
We don't do
wedding parties, either.

1143
00:50:21,784 --> 00:50:23,653
He's just saying that
because he knows

1144
00:50:23,686 --> 00:50:25,822
he looks like a dork
in a powder blue tuxedo.

1145
00:50:25,855 --> 00:50:28,425
We just don't play wedding
songs like "Celebration."

1146
00:50:28,458 --> 00:50:31,594
Cool, I get why weddings
could seem beneath you

1147
00:50:31,626 --> 00:50:33,762
- or cheesy or Tom Jones-y.
- Mm-hmm.

1148
00:50:33,795 --> 00:50:36,265
But this one is very different.

1149
00:50:36,298 --> 00:50:38,101
Uh-huh. Why?

1150
00:50:38,134 --> 00:50:39,802
Well, firstly,
it's gonna be like,

1151
00:50:39,835 --> 00:50:43,372
"Oh, my God!
Last night was crazy!

1152
00:50:43,405 --> 00:50:45,507
How did I wake up in Canada?"

1153
00:50:45,541 --> 00:50:47,277
"Where did I
get this alligator?"

1154
00:50:47,309 --> 00:50:49,078
"The only thing I remember

1155
00:50:49,112 --> 00:50:50,512
is that band was amaze-balls."

1156
00:50:50,545 --> 00:50:53,148
And secondly,
while I personally love

1157
00:50:53,181 --> 00:50:56,452
the song "Celebration",
you don't have to play it.

1158
00:50:56,485 --> 00:50:58,554
Listen, it's...

1159
00:50:58,588 --> 00:51:01,825
it is my first gig
as a wedding planner.

1160
00:51:01,858 --> 00:51:03,293
So, it has to be perfect.

1161
00:51:03,326 --> 00:51:05,461
And your band
is beyond perfect.

1162
00:51:05,494 --> 00:51:07,864
So, you guys, pretty much,
have to do it

1163
00:51:07,896 --> 00:51:11,500
under the universal laws
of love and romance.

1164
00:51:11,534 --> 00:51:13,269
Universal law.

1165
00:51:13,302 --> 00:51:15,105
- Yeah.
- Okay, uh...

1166
00:51:15,137 --> 00:51:16,273
Hold on.

1167
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,242
I will arm wrestle you
for a yes.

1168
00:51:20,275 --> 00:51:21,844
You'll what?

1169
00:51:21,878 --> 00:51:23,546
You're bigger than me, come on.

1170
00:51:23,579 --> 00:51:26,382
Look at those biceps.
Seriously.

1171
00:51:26,414 --> 00:51:29,219
I win, I get a yes.
You pin me, I walk.

1172
00:51:29,251 --> 00:51:30,586
Let you enjoy your evening.

1173
00:51:30,619 --> 00:51:32,255
I can't say yes
without my partner

1174
00:51:32,288 --> 00:51:34,289
Talk to your partner...
What about your mommy?

1175
00:51:34,322 --> 00:51:35,558
Come on, you big baby.

1176
00:51:37,193 --> 00:51:39,362
All right. All right.

1177
00:51:39,394 --> 00:51:41,364
Okay.

1178
00:51:41,396 --> 00:51:43,833
One, two, three, go!

1179
00:51:43,865 --> 00:51:45,467
Damn, you're strong.

1180
00:51:45,501 --> 00:51:46,803
I really need a yes.

1181
00:51:46,835 --> 00:51:49,304
I really wanna
give you that yes, but...

1182
00:51:49,338 --> 00:51:50,840
You don't have a choice.

1183
00:51:53,742 --> 00:51:56,378
Ah! Whoo!

1184
00:51:58,648 --> 00:52:02,184
All right. No,
I made a bet and I lost it.

1185
00:52:02,217 --> 00:52:04,353
Listen, this is my guitar arm.

1186
00:52:04,387 --> 00:52:06,155
It had superpowers.
It's not fair.

1187
00:52:06,188 --> 00:52:07,490
Thank you for your
consideration

1188
00:52:09,425 --> 00:52:10,894
- Did you get 'em?
- Not happening.

1189
00:52:10,927 --> 00:52:12,495
It's okay, we'll get
somebody better.

1190
00:52:12,527 --> 00:52:14,496
- I thought they were the best.
- They are.

1191
00:52:14,530 --> 00:52:16,399
I told you not to hire me.

1192
00:52:16,431 --> 00:52:19,535
Well, here, these were
to celebrate our new band,

1193
00:52:19,568 --> 00:52:22,237
but now we'll just have to
celebrate your firing. Hmm.

1194
00:52:22,271 --> 00:52:23,907
Oh, great.
Cheers to that.

1195
00:52:26,375 --> 00:52:29,378
Come on. Let's
go find a new band.

1196
00:52:29,411 --> 00:52:31,713
Ah, I guess.
I just...

1197
00:52:31,746 --> 00:52:35,652
I don't know a single musician
that would take that gig, so...

1198
00:52:35,684 --> 00:52:37,219
Look, if it's
that big of a deal,

1199
00:52:37,253 --> 00:52:38,888
it could be good for the band.

1200
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:41,557
- We don't do weddings.
- Yeah, but this is different.

1201
00:52:41,590 --> 00:52:43,192
Oh, my God. Mack,

1202
00:52:43,226 --> 00:52:45,561
at a wedding, no one
cares who the band is.

1203
00:52:45,594 --> 00:52:48,197
Everyone's drunk
and they wanna dance.

1204
00:52:48,231 --> 00:52:50,300
And they're gonna
ask for "Celebration"

1205
00:52:50,333 --> 00:52:51,834
until you play it.

1206
00:52:51,867 --> 00:52:54,571
And at that moment,
you're officially over.

1207
00:52:56,239 --> 00:52:58,641
If you could just
give us one second?

1208
00:53:00,610 --> 00:53:02,478
We've played together
since high school.

1209
00:53:02,510 --> 00:53:03,813
That's right.

1210
00:53:03,846 --> 00:53:05,514
Make all our decisions,

1211
00:53:05,547 --> 00:53:06,982
you and me, just the two of us.

1212
00:53:07,016 --> 00:53:08,617
She makes a good point,
all right?

1213
00:53:08,650 --> 00:53:10,385
Don't get all
bent out of shape.

1214
00:53:10,418 --> 00:53:11,887
I'm not, I'm not.
I just don't wanna

1215
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:13,822
miss out on an opportunity,
you know?

1216
00:53:13,856 --> 00:53:16,292
We're kind of stuck here.
we could use the money.

1217
00:53:16,324 --> 00:53:18,293
- That's...
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

1218
00:53:18,327 --> 00:53:20,897
You're not doing this for that
chick in there though, right?

1219
00:53:20,929 --> 00:53:21,931
No.

1220
00:53:23,599 --> 00:53:26,501
Maybe.

1221
00:53:26,534 --> 00:53:28,971
All right. Cool.

1222
00:53:30,672 --> 00:53:32,407
And look, we're
not gonna play anything

1223
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:34,810
from the "Kool and the Gang"
catalog. Relax, okay?

1224
00:53:36,646 --> 00:53:37,647
Jessie.

1225
00:53:45,721 --> 00:53:46,889
This is Jessie.

1226
00:53:46,922 --> 00:53:48,490
Hey-hey, it's Mack.

1227
00:53:48,523 --> 00:53:50,425
Sorry, uh, Mack?

1228
00:53:50,458 --> 00:53:52,728
Mack, from the band?

1229
00:53:52,762 --> 00:53:56,365
Oh! Hi. Hi. Sorry.

1230
00:53:56,398 --> 00:53:59,301
- Is this a bad time?
- Yeah, kinda, I...

1231
00:53:59,335 --> 00:54:00,403
Well, we're in.

1232
00:54:00,436 --> 00:54:01,838
<i>In?</i>

1233
00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:03,338
The wedding.

1234
00:54:03,371 --> 00:54:04,640
Wait, really?

1235
00:54:04,673 --> 00:54:06,708
I mean, that... I... Wow!

1236
00:54:06,742 --> 00:54:09,746
I thought, you know,
you won, I lost, and...

1237
00:54:09,778 --> 00:54:12,681
You know, only six-year-olds
make career choices

1238
00:54:12,715 --> 00:54:14,717
based on arm-wrestling matches.

1239
00:54:14,750 --> 00:54:17,420
Are you
calling me a six-year-old?

1240
00:54:17,452 --> 00:54:20,690
Yeah. But you gotta pay
in dollars, not Play-Doh.

1241
00:54:20,722 --> 00:54:22,824
<i>Okay.
You drive a hard bargain,</i>

1242
00:54:22,858 --> 00:54:24,394
<i>but I can arrange that.</i>

1243
00:54:24,427 --> 00:54:26,429
This is fantastic.
Mack, thank you so much!

1244
00:54:26,461 --> 00:54:27,929
You are saving my life.
Seriously.

1245
00:54:27,963 --> 00:54:29,065
I love you for this.

1246
00:54:29,097 --> 00:54:31,034
I have that effect on people.

1247
00:54:31,067 --> 00:54:34,771
Good to know. Well, great.
I'll text you the details then.

1248
00:54:34,804 --> 00:54:37,273
- All right. Bye.
- <i>Bye.</i>

1249
00:54:40,009 --> 00:54:44,713
Yes! Yes!

1250
00:54:49,784 --> 00:54:51,553
<i>Lots of drama this week.</i>

1251
00:54:51,586 --> 00:54:53,588
<i>Two couples have
already crashed and burned.</i>

1252
00:54:53,621 --> 00:54:56,625
<i>The first one seems to be
kosher versus the kebab.</i>

1253
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:06,469
And they're done.

1254
00:55:06,501 --> 00:55:07,737
This you?

1255
00:55:07,769 --> 00:55:09,438
- That was not us.
- <i>Beat it!</i>

1256
00:55:14,376 --> 00:55:15,644
Not you?

1257
00:55:16,878 --> 00:55:19,915
Okay. That is us.

1258
00:55:26,121 --> 00:55:28,757
Next, a truly bizarre
wake-up call.

1259
00:55:33,661 --> 00:55:34,730
- What?
- Oh, my God!

1260
00:55:34,764 --> 00:55:35,932
What are you wearing?!

1261
00:55:35,965 --> 00:55:37,700
Oh, my God, what is that?
What is...

1262
00:55:37,733 --> 00:55:39,702
I have no idea
what the hell is that.

1263
00:55:39,735 --> 00:55:42,070
I don't know how she got in
here. I don't even know her.

1264
00:55:42,103 --> 00:55:44,573
- I'm a church-going lady!
- I would never wear this!

1265
00:55:44,606 --> 00:55:46,608
Do not push the button,
I need this million!

1266
00:55:46,641 --> 00:55:48,877
No! You can't pull it!

1267
00:55:48,911 --> 00:55:51,079
<i>And they're done.</i>

1268
00:55:51,112 --> 00:55:52,781
<i>Beat it! Beat it!</i>

1269
00:55:52,815 --> 00:55:55,451
- That was us.
- <i>Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!</i>

1270
00:55:55,483 --> 00:55:58,387
<i>One of our couples actually
seems to be getting along.</i>

1271
00:56:03,525 --> 00:56:05,594
Whoa, the shortstop
just got to second base.

1272
00:56:07,195 --> 00:56:08,898
But there's more. We've got

1273
00:56:08,931 --> 00:56:11,400
a Crash Couples exclusive
for you tonight.

1274
00:56:11,434 --> 00:56:13,536
The other final couple
has a secret.

1275
00:56:13,568 --> 00:56:16,672
It turns out Svetlana
is not a lawyer.

1276
00:56:16,704 --> 00:56:19,674
<i>This is where she
passed her bar exam.</i>

1277
00:56:19,708 --> 00:56:21,711
<i>Or should I say pole exam?</i>

1278
00:56:23,112 --> 00:56:24,680
<i>Woo-hoo, looks like Jimmy</i>

1279
00:56:24,713 --> 00:56:25,782
<i>isn't her best man.</i>

1280
00:56:30,985 --> 00:56:33,588
- Okay.
- He's my brother.

1281
00:56:33,621 --> 00:56:35,123
There's that, and there's this.

1282
00:56:35,157 --> 00:56:36,959
<i>Whoop, doesn't look like</i>

1283
00:56:36,992 --> 00:56:38,728
<i>he's working on his toast
for his brother,</i>

1284
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:40,496
<i>Robert Barton's wedding</i>

1285
00:56:40,528 --> 00:56:42,197
<i>Oh, there's a push!
And another push.</i>

1286
00:56:42,231 --> 00:56:44,200
<i>Oh!</i>
<i>Look out! Look at...</i>

1287
00:56:44,233 --> 00:56:46,536
<i>Oh, there's gotta be some
hair pulling in this one.</i>

1288
00:56:46,568 --> 00:56:48,003
<i>There's the hair pull!</i>

1289
00:56:48,036 --> 00:56:49,504
So, we've got
the wedding trasher

1290
00:56:49,538 --> 00:56:50,972
and now this.

1291
00:56:51,005 --> 00:56:52,641
He's in the finals.
That's not bad.

1292
00:56:52,675 --> 00:56:54,143
It's not bad, it's terrible!

1293
00:56:54,175 --> 00:56:56,445
Your lead has gone from
seven points to four,

1294
00:56:56,478 --> 00:56:57,579
that falls within
the statistical error range.

1295
00:56:57,612 --> 00:56:58,914
You could lose this.

1296
00:57:00,648 --> 00:57:02,117
Oh, boy, here they come.

1297
00:57:02,150 --> 00:57:05,053
We haven't met.
Hi. I'm Robert Barton.

1298
00:57:05,086 --> 00:57:06,855
- Olga.
- Not Svetlana?

1299
00:57:06,889 --> 00:57:08,825
Is made-up name
for the privacy.

1300
00:57:08,858 --> 00:57:11,093
Let's cut to it. Jimmy,
you're gonna pull out of this.

1301
00:57:11,126 --> 00:57:13,229
- What? No way.
- What's goin' on?

1302
00:57:13,262 --> 00:57:14,831
Nothing, I...

1303
00:57:14,864 --> 00:57:16,032
He's in debt and
he's in troubles.

1304
00:57:16,065 --> 00:57:17,867
- Is this true?
- Kinda, yeah.

1305
00:57:17,900 --> 00:57:19,802
Touching, but you're
gonna cost him the election.

1306
00:57:19,835 --> 00:57:21,871
Why didn't you come to me?
What were you thinking?

1307
00:57:21,903 --> 00:57:23,672
I'm an idiot. I don't know.

1308
00:57:23,706 --> 00:57:25,240
Look, if you
want me to quit the show...

1309
00:57:25,273 --> 00:57:26,909
- We do.
- I can't!

1310
00:57:26,942 --> 00:57:28,978
- Why not?
- Olga. I committed to her.

1311
00:57:29,010 --> 00:57:31,246
- What about Robert?
- I'll keep it really low key.

1312
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:33,816
No controversy, no strip bars.

1313
00:57:33,849 --> 00:57:37,153
I promise. I'll even
skip your wedding.

1314
00:57:37,186 --> 00:57:39,222
- Not good enough.
- But in the end,

1315
00:57:39,255 --> 00:57:41,858
it's just a game show, right?
Where's the negative in that?

1316
00:57:41,891 --> 00:57:44,760
I'm not gonna bail on my
brother because of a game show.

1317
00:57:44,793 --> 00:57:46,596
- Bev, spin this.
- What?

1318
00:57:46,628 --> 00:57:49,264
Look, I'm a stiff.
I have no sense of humor.

1319
00:57:49,297 --> 00:57:51,066
Maybe that's why
my numbers are down.

1320
00:57:51,099 --> 00:57:53,502
Make this fun. Make me fun.

1321
00:57:54,903 --> 00:57:57,072
- That's crazy.
- It is!

1322
00:57:57,106 --> 00:57:58,975
But won't it be fun?

1323
00:58:38,981 --> 00:58:41,751
Thank you!
Thank you! Goodnight.

1324
00:58:45,820 --> 00:58:48,056
Yoni, she's killer, right?

1325
00:58:48,090 --> 00:58:50,326
Yeah, she takes over, you know?

1326
00:58:50,358 --> 00:58:51,894
Yeah, she does.

1327
00:59:01,603 --> 00:59:02,672
Like it.

1328
00:59:04,940 --> 00:59:07,143
- What's that?
- It's got your name on it.

1329
00:59:07,175 --> 00:59:08,610
It's our demo.

1330
00:59:08,643 --> 00:59:11,112
- Oh, a demo?
- Mm-hmm.

1331
00:59:11,146 --> 00:59:13,215
Ah, Yoni wrote a song. So, we...

1332
00:59:13,248 --> 00:59:15,050
So, we recorded it
with my band.

1333
00:59:15,083 --> 00:59:16,786
Ah, you guys have a band?

1334
00:59:16,818 --> 00:59:18,054
- Yeah.
- No way.

1335
00:59:18,086 --> 00:59:20,956
Ah, well, uh... Not really.

1336
00:59:20,989 --> 00:59:22,658
We just put together
a couple guys.

1337
00:59:23,958 --> 00:59:25,327
You-you put together
a couple guys

1338
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:27,028
and you didn't
tell me about it?

1339
00:59:27,061 --> 00:59:29,130
We wanted to go
in a different direction.

1340
00:59:29,164 --> 00:59:31,767
Wait, are you...
Are you kidding me?

1341
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:33,869
Mack, chill. It's just a demo.

1342
00:59:33,902 --> 00:59:35,605
I am chill. But
if it's just a demo,

1343
00:59:35,637 --> 00:59:37,373
then why didn't you
tell me about it, Lenny?

1344
00:59:37,405 --> 00:59:39,041
We didn't want you to be upset.

1345
00:59:39,074 --> 00:59:41,277
We? We, you two we, now?

1346
00:59:42,911 --> 00:59:44,079
What happened to <i>our</i> we?

1347
00:59:47,682 --> 00:59:48,985
You know what? Fine.

1348
00:59:49,018 --> 00:59:50,153
Fine.

1349
00:59:52,855 --> 00:59:56,659
We can go on jury duty now.
They accept anyone.

1350
00:59:56,692 --> 00:59:58,126
Well surely, that's good.

1351
00:59:58,159 --> 01:00:00,962
It's terrible.
I mean, "Hey, I'm blind".

1352
01:00:00,996 --> 01:00:02,664
That was always my best excuse.

1353
01:00:03,965 --> 01:00:05,266
Ah! Ooh, God!

1354
01:00:05,300 --> 01:00:06,936
Oh, my goodness.
Are you alright?

1355
01:00:06,969 --> 01:00:09,838
Yeah, I think I've
cracked my knee cap.

1356
01:00:09,871 --> 01:00:12,074
Oh, dear, oh, God.
Welcome to my world.

1357
01:00:12,106 --> 01:00:14,009
Ah. Do you think
we could afford

1358
01:00:14,043 --> 01:00:15,311
to have the lights on a bit?

1359
01:00:15,344 --> 01:00:17,313
Oh, I'm sorry. Of course. Yes.

1360
01:00:17,346 --> 01:00:19,981
I don't use them very often,

1361
01:00:20,014 --> 01:00:22,317
- but there we go.
- Oh, yes.

1362
01:00:22,351 --> 01:00:25,387
Wow! You really look great.

1363
01:00:26,954 --> 01:00:28,356
Ah, here's the problem.

1364
01:00:28,389 --> 01:00:31,793
Coffee table.
It should be more over here.

1365
01:00:31,827 --> 01:00:33,295
Thank you. No, no. Huh-uh.

1366
01:00:33,327 --> 01:00:35,096
No, out of the traffic flow,
because...

1367
01:00:35,130 --> 01:00:37,032
No, actually,
it's quite good here.

1368
01:00:37,065 --> 01:00:39,067
Yeah. Well, I know
it's quite good here.

1369
01:00:39,101 --> 01:00:42,003
But I mean, it'd be
much better a bit over here.

1370
01:00:42,036 --> 01:00:44,005
- You know what might be fun?
- What?

1371
01:00:44,039 --> 01:00:46,676
Well, there's this OCD seminar

1372
01:00:46,708 --> 01:00:48,309
at the Convention Center
this weekend.

1373
01:00:50,311 --> 01:00:52,280
I know.

1374
01:00:52,313 --> 01:00:54,082
See, I'm laughing.

1375
01:00:54,115 --> 01:00:55,818
- Am I cured?
- Far from it.

1376
01:00:57,786 --> 01:00:59,422
Are these your pictures?

1377
01:00:59,454 --> 01:01:03,092
Oh. Yes, yes.

1378
01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:07,296
<i>It was early evening,</i>

1379
01:01:07,329 --> 01:01:09,798
<i>I heard thunder, so,
I started to shoot the clouds,</i>

1380
01:01:09,831 --> 01:01:13,234
<i>but just then I heard
a frantic, shrill whistle.</i>

1381
01:01:13,268 --> 01:01:15,304
<i>I turned to shoot it,</i>

1382
01:01:15,336 --> 01:01:17,840
<i>it was a bicycle messenger
about to hit me.</i>

1383
01:01:17,873 --> 01:01:19,407
Yeah.

1384
01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:22,077
And the one next to it
is actually after he hit me.

1385
01:01:22,110 --> 01:01:23,813
Oh, and he
doesn't look too happy.

1386
01:01:23,846 --> 01:01:25,748
- No.
- And this one?

1387
01:01:25,780 --> 01:01:27,983
<i>Oh, yes,
the bus just missed me,</i>

1388
01:01:28,016 --> 01:01:29,284
<i>but it took out a fire hydrant.</i>

1389
01:01:30,485 --> 01:01:32,420
I never realized
that photography

1390
01:01:32,454 --> 01:01:34,023
was an extreme sport.

1391
01:01:35,190 --> 01:01:36,925
They're fantastic pictures.

1392
01:01:36,958 --> 01:01:38,460
You're very talented.

1393
01:01:38,494 --> 01:01:40,762
Thank you. Hmm.

1394
01:01:40,795 --> 01:01:42,330
Come here.

1395
01:01:42,364 --> 01:01:44,733
Oh, you wanna kiss me?

1396
01:01:44,766 --> 01:01:47,068
I do, in the worst way.

1397
01:01:47,101 --> 01:01:49,170
Well, I hope not.

1398
01:01:49,204 --> 01:01:52,175
But let's see how it goes.

1399
01:01:55,110 --> 01:01:58,047
- Oh.
- Mm.

1400
01:01:58,079 --> 01:02:00,048
What? Are you nervous?

1401
01:02:01,115 --> 01:02:02,284
It's been a long time.

1402
01:02:04,987 --> 01:02:06,155
You're gay?

1403
01:02:06,188 --> 01:02:07,256
No, I'm not gay.

1404
01:02:07,289 --> 01:02:08,791
Then, what?

1405
01:02:08,824 --> 01:02:11,494
It's just, I'm... I'm insecure.

1406
01:02:11,527 --> 01:02:12,894
I haven't done this for...

1407
01:02:12,927 --> 01:02:14,763
But how insecure?

1408
01:02:14,797 --> 01:02:16,766
- Very insecure.
- Oh.

1409
01:02:16,798 --> 01:02:19,402
- Mm.
- Oh.

1410
01:02:23,304 --> 01:02:25,273
Oh. Ah.

1411
01:02:26,541 --> 01:02:28,277
Oh, Larry.

1412
01:02:28,309 --> 01:02:30,913
Nobody ever calls me Larry.

1413
01:02:30,945 --> 01:02:32,114
I do.

1414
01:02:35,016 --> 01:02:36,384
- Mmm.
- Yes.

1415
01:02:37,885 --> 01:02:39,121
Mmm.

1416
01:02:40,521 --> 01:02:43,159
What you doing?

1417
01:02:43,192 --> 01:02:44,994
I'm learning your body.

1418
01:02:45,027 --> 01:02:46,461
Oh, God.

1419
01:02:46,494 --> 01:02:50,132
I promise you, I'll start
working out tomorrow.

1420
01:02:50,164 --> 01:02:52,134
Yeah. Start now.

1421
01:02:52,166 --> 01:02:53,402
Start now.

1422
01:02:57,873 --> 01:02:59,508
Yeah. Your ex
sounds incredibly flaky,

1423
01:02:59,541 --> 01:03:02,077
how terrible for you. But
listen to me very carefully,

1424
01:03:02,110 --> 01:03:03,579
I don't give a shit.

1425
01:03:03,612 --> 01:03:05,880
You were supposed to
be here at four yesterday.

1426
01:03:05,914 --> 01:03:07,950
I waited until seven,
you didn't show.

1427
01:03:07,983 --> 01:03:09,518
<i>You're harshing my vibe.</i>

1428
01:03:09,550 --> 01:03:11,519
No dude, you're
harshing <i>my</i> vibe.

1429
01:03:11,552 --> 01:03:14,222
I'm about to hang up and call
my caterer, Lawrence Phillips.

1430
01:03:14,255 --> 01:03:15,356
Yeah, that...

1431
01:03:15,389 --> 01:03:16,893
Ah, dammit!

1432
01:03:18,460 --> 01:03:20,596
Hello? Just...

1433
01:03:20,628 --> 01:03:22,964
get here before 8:00 AM, okay?

1434
01:03:22,998 --> 01:03:25,967
You win. Get here at 8:00 AM
and one second, you lose.

1435
01:03:26,001 --> 01:03:28,204
- Okay? Thank you.
- You need some help?

1436
01:03:28,237 --> 01:03:29,605
Hi-ya!

1437
01:03:29,637 --> 01:03:32,240
Oh, my God!

1438
01:03:32,273 --> 01:03:34,542
Oh, my God, Mack,
I am so sorry! I...

1439
01:03:34,576 --> 01:03:36,512
- Are you okay? I...
- I'm sorry I scared you.

1440
01:03:36,545 --> 01:03:39,081
I'm sorry I maimed you.
Are you okay?

1441
01:03:39,114 --> 01:03:41,550
You're tough. I feel bad
for the guy on the phone.

1442
01:03:41,583 --> 01:03:43,853
No, don't.
It's a seated dinner.

1443
01:03:43,885 --> 01:03:46,054
It's a little difficult to do
without chairs.

1444
01:03:46,088 --> 01:03:47,489
Had to elevate
the threat level.

1445
01:03:47,521 --> 01:03:49,157
I just didn't think
somebody would be

1446
01:03:49,190 --> 01:03:50,893
eavesdropping at 6:00 AM.

1447
01:03:50,925 --> 01:03:52,927
No, I got here at four.
Slept in the car.

1448
01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:54,262
Why?

1449
01:03:54,295 --> 01:03:56,264
Rough night.
Got into some weirdness

1450
01:03:56,297 --> 01:03:58,199
and... Ah, nothin'.

1451
01:03:58,233 --> 01:04:00,035
I wanted to see you.

1452
01:04:00,068 --> 01:04:03,239
But not in a stalking way.

1453
01:04:03,271 --> 01:04:05,039
Lying in wait and
creeping up behind me

1454
01:04:05,072 --> 01:04:06,975
is really the classic
definition of stalker.

1455
01:04:07,009 --> 01:04:09,010
I had the crazy thought
I could come in,

1456
01:04:09,043 --> 01:04:12,114
and sweep you off your feet,
but you swept me off mine

1457
01:04:12,146 --> 01:04:14,083
So, you owe me breakfast.

1458
01:04:14,115 --> 01:04:16,885
I mean, oh, okay. I...

1459
01:04:16,918 --> 01:04:20,521
My day is insane
and just got more insane,

1460
01:04:20,554 --> 01:04:23,893
But yeah. Look,
give me a second,

1461
01:04:23,925 --> 01:04:26,494
and I could definitely
use a refill.

1462
01:04:26,527 --> 01:04:27,629
Ah.

1463
01:04:29,197 --> 01:04:30,298
Larry?

1464
01:04:31,500 --> 01:04:32,568
Larry?

1465
01:04:35,269 --> 01:04:36,338
Ah.

1466
01:04:36,371 --> 01:04:37,673
What...

1467
01:04:37,706 --> 01:04:39,608
A note?

1468
01:04:39,641 --> 01:04:41,443
Oh, God.

1469
01:04:41,476 --> 01:04:45,014
I have fallen in love with
the dumbest man in history.

1470
01:04:49,184 --> 01:04:50,452
Ah!

1471
01:04:52,253 --> 01:04:54,422
Oh! Shit!

1472
01:04:54,456 --> 01:04:55,691
Oh.

1473
01:04:55,724 --> 01:04:57,992
Okay, that barista
was so judgy.

1474
01:04:58,025 --> 01:05:00,596
She was like, "Is this your
second red-eye in 15 minutes?"

1475
01:05:00,628 --> 01:05:02,397
It's like, "Oh,
are you keeping score

1476
01:05:02,431 --> 01:05:05,467
- on my caffeine intake?"
- Mm. Who cares?

1477
01:05:07,235 --> 01:05:09,105
- Oh!
- Mm! So close.

1478
01:05:14,509 --> 01:05:16,644
- Here, gimme.
- Hold this. Okay.

1479
01:05:16,677 --> 01:05:17,980
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, yeah.

1480
01:05:18,012 --> 01:05:19,347
Going for the big...

1481
01:05:19,380 --> 01:05:20,982
You're taking this
very seriously.

1482
01:05:21,016 --> 01:05:22,518
- Oh!
- Yes!

1483
01:05:22,550 --> 01:05:24,953
- Wow. Nice shot.
- Here, it's easy.

1484
01:05:26,454 --> 01:05:28,222
- Try again.
- No, thanks.

1485
01:05:28,255 --> 01:05:30,458
- No?
- I suck at basketball

1486
01:05:30,492 --> 01:05:33,028
and plastic bottle
into the trash-ket ball.

1487
01:05:33,061 --> 01:05:35,364
I'm just a musician and
I'm fine with it, you know?

1488
01:05:35,396 --> 01:05:37,099
I don't have to
make the winning shot

1489
01:05:37,132 --> 01:05:38,233
at the buzzer every time.

1490
01:05:38,266 --> 01:05:40,269
I do. Every time.

1491
01:05:41,769 --> 01:05:43,304
With everything.

1492
01:05:43,338 --> 01:05:44,506
Everything's a lot.

1493
01:05:44,539 --> 01:05:46,642
Yeah, it's a lot.

1494
01:05:46,675 --> 01:05:49,577
Mm. How many of those ones
do you remember?

1495
01:05:49,610 --> 01:05:52,614
Hmm, definitely
the ones from middle school.

1496
01:05:55,016 --> 01:05:56,152
Lately, just enough.

1497
01:05:57,652 --> 01:06:00,222
Why don't you just
float on some of them

1498
01:06:00,255 --> 01:06:03,025
and just save your beautiful
energy for the big ones?

1499
01:06:06,460 --> 01:06:08,029
Who are you?

1500
01:06:08,063 --> 01:06:09,431
What?

1501
01:06:09,463 --> 01:06:12,433
How do you... know me?

1502
01:06:12,467 --> 01:06:16,105
I don't know you,
but I'd like to.

1503
01:06:18,472 --> 01:06:20,041
So,

1504
01:06:20,074 --> 01:06:21,977
I'm just coming off of

1505
01:06:23,478 --> 01:06:27,416
what I thought was me
getting dumped, again.

1506
01:06:27,449 --> 01:06:30,085
But, actually, I was more
the dumper than the dumpee.

1507
01:06:33,588 --> 01:06:37,092
But I think I should
take a little time

1508
01:06:37,125 --> 01:06:40,161
to chill and figure out
the difference between

1509
01:06:41,630 --> 01:06:43,099
losing <i>to</i> someone

1510
01:06:44,465 --> 01:06:45,668
and losing them.

1511
01:06:50,472 --> 01:06:53,075
Well, good luck with that.

1512
01:06:53,108 --> 01:06:54,643
I'll be watching you
from my car.

1513
01:06:54,675 --> 01:06:56,677
- If you need anything.
- Oh, great!

1514
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:02,617
I have to go grab my guy,
the table and chair rental guy.

1515
01:07:02,650 --> 01:07:04,052
- Oh, yeah. You go.
- So.

1516
01:07:04,085 --> 01:07:05,620
- You go do that.
- Okay.

1517
01:07:05,653 --> 01:07:08,556
I'll... see you soon.

1518
01:07:08,590 --> 01:07:10,192
It was fun.

1519
01:07:10,224 --> 01:07:11,460
See you later.

1520
01:07:14,096 --> 01:07:16,731
Are these
the ones they delivered?

1521
01:07:16,764 --> 01:07:18,400
- Yes.
- Well, I'm not sure

1522
01:07:18,432 --> 01:07:20,302
they're gonna do a lot of...

1523
01:07:22,737 --> 01:07:24,106
Sara.

1524
01:07:24,139 --> 01:07:26,275
Give me a moment, will you?

1525
01:07:26,307 --> 01:07:27,675
This is a surprise!

1526
01:07:27,708 --> 01:07:30,846
Oh. Oh, I just came by

1527
01:07:30,878 --> 01:07:33,581
so you could read this to me.

1528
01:07:33,614 --> 01:07:37,852
Oh, my God! I left you a note.
I'm so silly.

1529
01:07:37,885 --> 01:07:39,822
Make sure you
give it back to me, though,

1530
01:07:39,855 --> 01:07:42,123
because I do
wanna get it framed.

1531
01:07:42,157 --> 01:07:43,592
So, read it. Read it, please.

1532
01:07:46,561 --> 01:07:48,430
"Good morning, sweetheart.

1533
01:07:48,463 --> 01:07:52,134
I had to go to work, but I
can't wait to see you later.

1534
01:07:53,568 --> 01:07:54,636
Kisses,

1535
01:07:54,668 --> 01:07:56,270
Larry."

1536
01:07:56,304 --> 01:07:58,673
Nothing about,
"I changed all the furniture

1537
01:07:58,706 --> 01:08:01,375
in your apartment.
So, do be careful.

1538
01:08:01,409 --> 01:08:02,878
You could get killed"?

1539
01:08:02,911 --> 01:08:04,746
- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, yeah?

1540
01:08:04,778 --> 01:08:07,349
Why didn't you just
move the bed next to the window

1541
01:08:07,382 --> 01:08:10,152
so I could plunge to my death
without getting up?

1542
01:08:10,184 --> 01:08:12,453
I just want to make
everything perfect for you.

1543
01:08:12,487 --> 01:08:14,690
Your perfect is just fine.

1544
01:08:14,722 --> 01:08:16,390
But it isn't gonna save me.

1545
01:08:16,423 --> 01:08:20,162
And obviously, you are
too blind to see that.

1546
01:08:20,194 --> 01:08:23,631
Here, Teddy. Let's go, Teddy.
Up, good boy.

1547
01:08:23,664 --> 01:08:25,766
We don't wanna
bang into anything else.

1548
01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:28,270
I've only got one neck,
after all.

1549
01:08:28,302 --> 01:08:29,438
Good, Teddy.

1550
01:08:29,470 --> 01:08:32,473
Uh... Uh...

1551
01:08:32,506 --> 01:08:35,743
<i>♪ I leapt ♪</i>

1552
01:08:35,777 --> 01:08:38,279
<i>♪ Before I looked ♪</i>

1553
01:08:40,314 --> 01:08:43,851
<i>♪ I never learned ♪</i>

1554
01:08:43,885 --> 01:08:47,256
<i>♪ And now I'm cooked ♪</i>

1555
01:08:48,890 --> 01:08:52,494
<i>♪ Shoulda had a plan ♪</i>

1556
01:08:52,527 --> 01:08:55,197
<i>♪ Shoulda up and ran ♪</i>

1557
01:08:55,229 --> 01:08:57,598
<i>♪ I got the break-up ♪</i>

1558
01:08:57,631 --> 01:09:01,469
<i>♪ The break-up blues ♪</i>

1559
01:09:03,305 --> 01:09:07,309
<i>♪ What the hell? ♪</i>

1560
01:09:07,341 --> 01:09:10,411
<i>♪ And what the heck? ♪</i>

1561
01:09:10,444 --> 01:09:14,582
<i>♪ Seems I can't find love ♪</i>

1562
01:09:14,615 --> 01:09:18,520
<i>♪ Without risking your neck ♪</i>

1563
01:09:20,255 --> 01:09:23,225
<i>♪ Probably should have known ♪</i>

1564
01:09:23,257 --> 01:09:26,327
<i>♪ Now I'm all alone ♪</i>

1565
01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:28,796
<i>♪ I got the break-up ♪</i>

1566
01:09:28,829 --> 01:09:32,600
<i>♪ The break-up blues ♪</i>

1567
01:09:34,002 --> 01:09:36,405
<i>♪ 'Cause I got the break-up ♪</i>

1568
01:09:37,805 --> 01:09:41,342
<i>♪ I got the break-up, oh ♪</i>

1569
01:09:41,376 --> 01:09:43,846
<i>♪ I got the break-up ♪</i>

1570
01:09:45,279 --> 01:09:47,715
<i>♪ I got the break-up ♪</i>

1571
01:09:49,417 --> 01:09:52,354
<i>♪ I got the break-up ♪</i>

1572
01:09:52,386 --> 01:09:57,491
<i>♪ The break-up blues ♪</i>

1573
01:10:07,502 --> 01:10:09,371
Yes? Yes?

1574
01:10:09,404 --> 01:10:10,639
<i>It's me.</i>

1575
01:10:10,671 --> 01:10:11,772
Who?

1576
01:10:11,805 --> 01:10:12,840
<i>Larry.</i>

1577
01:10:14,376 --> 01:10:15,711
I really...
I don't know a Larry.

1578
01:10:15,743 --> 01:10:17,445
<i>Lawrence.</i>

1579
01:10:18,846 --> 01:10:20,481
Uh-huh. Oh.

1580
01:10:20,515 --> 01:10:21,783
<i>Can I come up?</i>

1581
01:10:21,815 --> 01:10:22,917
Well...

1582
01:10:24,586 --> 01:10:25,588
Certainly.

1583
01:10:31,525 --> 01:10:32,493
Um...

1584
01:10:33,795 --> 01:10:35,831
I'm sorry.

1585
01:10:35,863 --> 01:10:38,899
I've messed up before and
I'll probably mess up again,

1586
01:10:38,932 --> 01:10:41,470
but look, don't give up on me.

1587
01:10:41,502 --> 01:10:42,904
Okay.

1588
01:10:46,006 --> 01:10:47,808
- I got you this.
- Ah?

1589
01:10:47,841 --> 01:10:48,943
Here.

1590
01:10:51,712 --> 01:10:52,680
Okay.

1591
01:10:59,654 --> 01:11:00,889
Hmm?

1592
01:11:00,921 --> 01:11:01,956
Oh.

1593
01:11:03,425 --> 01:11:05,060
Is this a scarf?

1594
01:11:05,092 --> 01:11:06,560
It's a blindfold.

1595
01:11:06,594 --> 01:11:08,529
- Ah?
- For me.

1596
01:11:10,597 --> 01:11:11,966
Open my eyes.

1597
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:13,769
Let me see what you see.

1598
01:11:18,872 --> 01:11:20,041
Now, we go out...

1599
01:11:24,546 --> 01:11:25,579
Good.

1600
01:11:25,613 --> 01:11:27,416
Wait, wait, wait.

1601
01:11:27,448 --> 01:11:30,085
No, I don't... Oh, yes, I do.
One, two, three, four.

1602
01:11:30,118 --> 01:11:31,853
- Right. Yes!
- Now, follow it over.

1603
01:11:31,886 --> 01:11:34,623
Ah! What's that?

1604
01:11:34,655 --> 01:11:36,658
- No, smell it.
- Oh.

1605
01:11:47,702 --> 01:11:48,970
Oh! Okay.

1606
01:11:49,002 --> 01:11:50,505
- Okay, can I go home now?
- Yes.

1607
01:11:50,537 --> 01:11:52,073
Of course. Yes, here.

1608
01:11:56,077 --> 01:11:57,846
No, no. Here.

1609
01:11:59,814 --> 01:12:01,083
All right, all right.

1610
01:12:01,115 --> 01:12:03,452
Feel to your right
for the railing.

1611
01:12:03,484 --> 01:12:05,052
- The rail... Oh, wait...
- Ah. Don't you go!

1612
01:12:05,086 --> 01:12:07,689
- Ah! No, wait! Oh, God!
- Don't let go!

1613
01:12:07,721 --> 01:12:09,925
- Lawrence... Oh!
- Wait, wait, wait!

1614
01:12:09,957 --> 01:12:11,659
What... Are you okay?

1615
01:12:11,693 --> 01:12:14,529
- What?
- I can't, I can't, I can't!

1616
01:12:14,561 --> 01:12:16,965
Larry, oh, my God!
Larry! Are you okay?

1617
01:12:16,997 --> 01:12:19,667
Larry, Larry, don't sit.

1618
01:12:21,168 --> 01:12:22,938
- Oh!
- Are you all right?

1619
01:12:22,970 --> 01:12:24,972
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
- Okay.

1620
01:12:25,006 --> 01:12:26,807
I'm here. I'm waiting.

1621
01:12:26,841 --> 01:12:28,944
- I'm at... I don't know.
- Oh! Oh!

1622
01:12:28,976 --> 01:12:30,612
Okay, I'm here to help.

1623
01:12:30,645 --> 01:12:32,080
Are you all right?
Ah! Oh, my God!

1624
01:12:32,113 --> 01:12:34,649
No, no. No, don't...

1625
01:12:34,681 --> 01:12:36,585
Well, that was a piece of cake.

1626
01:12:37,886 --> 01:12:40,155
Okay, well, home at last.
How do you feel?

1627
01:12:40,188 --> 01:12:41,757
Exhausted.

1628
01:12:41,789 --> 01:12:43,759
But thrilling.

1629
01:12:43,792 --> 01:12:45,527
- I mean, I had no inkling
- Yeah.

1630
01:12:45,560 --> 01:12:47,162
- of what you went through.
- Oh, well...

1631
01:12:47,194 --> 01:12:49,930
But I think I'm
pretty good at this now.

1632
01:12:49,963 --> 01:12:51,733
- Oh!
- Oh! Oh, my God! Oh!

1633
01:12:51,765 --> 01:12:54,569
- Ooh.
- Uh, oh. Oh, dear.

1634
01:13:01,074 --> 01:13:03,878
<i>♪ Turns out we can't be ♪</i>

1635
01:13:03,912 --> 01:13:05,981
<i>♪ Perfect in love ♪</i>

1636
01:13:07,582 --> 01:13:09,151
<i>♪ 'Cause love ain't perfect ♪</i>

1637
01:13:09,184 --> 01:13:11,119
<i>♪ No, not at all ♪</i>

1638
01:13:12,921 --> 01:13:15,724
<i>♪ Ain't no secret
Love ain't pure ♪</i>

1639
01:13:15,756 --> 01:13:18,559
<i>♪ Don't wanna miss it
That's for sure ♪</i>

1640
01:13:18,592 --> 01:13:21,061
<i>♪ The other version
Of this song ♪</i>

1641
01:13:21,095 --> 01:13:23,131
<i>♪ Turned out all wrong ♪</i>

1642
01:13:23,163 --> 01:13:25,966
<i>♪ If you don't claim love ♪</i>

1643
01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:28,770
<i>♪ The blame is on us ♪</i>

1644
01:13:28,802 --> 01:13:29,904
Come on!

1645
01:13:29,938 --> 01:13:31,873
<i>♪ We fell in love ♪</i>

1646
01:13:31,905 --> 01:13:34,909
<i>♪ We love the fuss ♪</i>

1647
01:13:36,610 --> 01:13:41,182
<i>♪ Jump together under the bus ♪</i>

1648
01:13:41,216 --> 01:13:44,553
<i>♪ If we don't claim love ♪</i>

1649
01:13:44,586 --> 01:13:46,088
<i>♪ Blame us ♪</i>

1650
01:13:48,756 --> 01:13:53,462
<i>♪ If love is crazy
Sign me up ♪</i>

1651
01:13:53,494 --> 01:13:54,829
Oop!

1652
01:13:54,863 --> 01:13:58,033
<i>♪ Check me in and lock me up ♪</i>

1653
01:14:00,601 --> 01:14:02,671
- Oh! Ooh!
- <i>♪ If love is blind ♪</i>

1654
01:14:02,703 --> 01:14:04,773
- Oh-ho. Mmm!
- <i>♪ Then take my sight ♪</i>

1655
01:14:04,805 --> 01:14:06,474
Mm! Mm!

1656
01:14:06,507 --> 01:14:08,108
- Is that good?
- <i>♪ If love is tough ♪</i>

1657
01:14:08,141 --> 01:14:12,079
<i>♪ Let's dance all night! ♪</i>

1658
01:14:12,113 --> 01:14:14,916
<i>♪ If we don't claim love ♪</i>

1659
01:14:14,948 --> 01:14:17,185
<i>♪ If we don't claim love ♪</i>

1660
01:14:18,752 --> 01:14:21,590
<i>♪ If we don't claim love ♪</i>

1661
01:14:21,622 --> 01:14:23,458
<i>♪ The blame is on us ♪</i>

1662
01:14:28,262 --> 01:14:29,965
Oh. Just keep going.

1663
01:14:29,997 --> 01:14:31,198
No, stop.

1664
01:14:31,231 --> 01:14:33,100
I was kidding. Joke

1665
01:14:37,005 --> 01:14:38,539
- Hey.
- Hey!

1666
01:14:38,573 --> 01:14:39,807
This is Zhopa.

1667
01:14:39,841 --> 01:14:41,877
Very nice meeting you,
Mr. Mayor.

1668
01:14:41,909 --> 01:14:43,677
Oh, well, I'm not mayor yet.

1669
01:14:43,711 --> 01:14:47,115
An election?
We could fixing that.

1670
01:14:47,148 --> 01:14:48,650
Thanks, I think we're good.

1671
01:14:48,682 --> 01:14:50,851
- This Menny.
- Manny!

1672
01:14:50,885 --> 01:14:52,220
- <i>Menny.</i>
- Menny.

1673
01:14:52,252 --> 01:14:54,523
- This Ivan.
- Ivan!

1674
01:14:54,555 --> 01:14:55,689
Ivan!

1675
01:14:55,722 --> 01:14:57,158
Great. Nice to meet you all.

1676
01:14:57,190 --> 01:14:58,993
We are late
and we are leaving.

1677
01:15:02,063 --> 01:15:03,065
After you.

1678
01:15:20,847 --> 01:15:22,583
What the heck is this?

1679
01:15:23,784 --> 01:15:24,952
Ah, come on!

1680
01:15:26,587 --> 01:15:27,721
This is bad.

1681
01:15:27,755 --> 01:15:29,757
This is not good.

1682
01:15:31,359 --> 01:15:34,729
Okay. One of the perks
about duck boating is this.

1683
01:15:34,761 --> 01:15:35,996
Victor, show 'em.

1684
01:15:36,029 --> 01:15:38,332
Hey, Prius, move it!

1685
01:15:38,365 --> 01:15:40,769
Drive it all the way forward.
Thank you so much!

1686
01:15:40,801 --> 01:15:42,603
Trying to meet
the love of my life,

1687
01:15:42,636 --> 01:15:44,572
no big deal. Very big deal.
Go! Go! Go!

1688
01:15:44,605 --> 01:15:47,074
Come on! There you go!

1689
01:15:48,743 --> 01:15:49,911
That wasn't so hard.

1690
01:15:49,944 --> 01:15:51,246
We're dead.

1691
01:15:52,313 --> 01:15:54,583
No, we're not.

1692
01:16:03,957 --> 01:16:04,926
Hey!

1693
01:16:05,993 --> 01:16:08,697
Hey! Hey! Hey!

1694
01:16:08,729 --> 01:16:10,030
Hey! Hey!

1695
01:16:10,064 --> 01:16:12,000
Hey, I'm Robert Barton.

1696
01:16:12,033 --> 01:16:13,335
I'm running for mayor.

1697
01:16:13,368 --> 01:16:15,003
Oh, that's weird,

1698
01:16:15,036 --> 01:16:16,337
'cause you
actually are running.

1699
01:16:16,371 --> 01:16:18,239
You have my vote, thank you.

1700
01:16:18,271 --> 01:16:20,875
But now I'm running late,
so, I got to go. All right?

1701
01:16:20,908 --> 01:16:22,744
No-no-no-no-no-no.
Wait, wait, wait!

1702
01:16:22,777 --> 01:16:24,846
Stop, stop, stop!

1703
01:16:24,878 --> 01:16:26,347
You can't go! I'm late!

1704
01:16:26,381 --> 01:16:29,651
- For what?
- I'm getting married!

1705
01:16:29,684 --> 01:16:31,052
I'm meeting my true love.

1706
01:16:31,085 --> 01:16:33,121
- We'll go with you.
- What?

1707
01:16:33,154 --> 01:16:35,757
This is
the Cinderella guy.

1708
01:16:35,789 --> 01:16:37,292
That's TV press up there.

1709
01:16:37,324 --> 01:16:39,260
With this boat,
we've got just enough time

1710
01:16:39,292 --> 01:16:41,762
to go pick up his woman,
then over to your wedding,

1711
01:16:41,796 --> 01:16:44,332
and you become the
romance king of Boston.

1712
01:16:44,364 --> 01:16:47,335
You wanna stop being a stiff?
Here's your chance.

1713
01:16:49,703 --> 01:16:51,038
We're gonna go with you!

1714
01:16:51,072 --> 01:16:53,041
Great! Welcome aboard!
Let's go!

1715
01:16:53,073 --> 01:16:55,009
Let down the ladder.
Victor, punch it!

1716
01:16:56,243 --> 01:16:58,078
Yes, let's go!

1717
01:16:58,112 --> 01:16:59,847
I love helping strangers!

1718
01:17:02,417 --> 01:17:03,952
All aboard, life vests on.

1719
01:17:03,984 --> 01:17:05,719
Who knows
if this thing still floats?

1720
01:17:05,752 --> 01:17:07,389
I mean, it should.
It's FDA approved.

1721
01:17:07,421 --> 01:17:08,822
Whatever that means.

1722
01:17:08,855 --> 01:17:10,858
We're heading out to sea,
hang on.

1723
01:17:10,891 --> 01:17:12,260
I hope you can swim.

1724
01:17:12,292 --> 01:17:13,996
I am not lifeguard certified.

1725
01:17:17,765 --> 01:17:18,767
Yeah.

1726
01:17:19,966 --> 01:17:21,168
- Put this over here?
- Yep.

1727
01:17:21,202 --> 01:17:22,369
Hey.

1728
01:17:22,403 --> 01:17:23,872
- Hey!
- How's it goin'?

1729
01:17:23,904 --> 01:17:25,372
You look amazingly calm.

1730
01:17:25,405 --> 01:17:27,442
Amazingly everything's
going like clockwork, so.

1731
01:17:27,475 --> 01:17:29,978
- No glitches?
- Nope. I'm a pro.

1732
01:17:30,011 --> 01:17:31,780
Been at this
a whole eight days.

1733
01:17:31,813 --> 01:17:33,381
I'm not surprised at all.

1734
01:17:33,413 --> 01:17:36,018
So, you maybe
doin' some thinking?

1735
01:17:39,854 --> 01:17:42,891
Yeah, I've been doing that.
Yep.

1736
01:17:42,923 --> 01:17:44,926
And how am I doin'?

1737
01:17:44,958 --> 01:17:46,360
Um...

1738
01:17:47,962 --> 01:17:49,197
Pretty good.

1739
01:17:49,229 --> 01:17:51,765
Aw, just pretty good?
Come on.

1740
01:17:56,203 --> 01:17:57,171
Bev?

1741
01:17:58,805 --> 01:18:00,074
Wait... What?

1742
01:18:00,108 --> 01:18:01,476
A duck boat?

1743
01:18:01,509 --> 01:18:03,444
Are you crazy?
You would never make it.

1744
01:18:04,779 --> 01:18:05,747
Bev?

1745
01:18:07,448 --> 01:18:08,817
Dammit!

1746
01:18:08,850 --> 01:18:10,351
- Glitch?
- Huge glitch.

1747
01:18:10,384 --> 01:18:12,386
Planning a wedding that
might not have a groom.

1748
01:18:13,854 --> 01:18:16,090
- Son of a bitch!
- What?

1749
01:18:16,123 --> 01:18:18,292
Lenny quit. I can't believe it!

1750
01:18:18,326 --> 01:18:19,961
- You're kidding, right?
- No.

1751
01:18:19,993 --> 01:18:22,130
But I'll just call
some people, okay?

1752
01:18:22,162 --> 01:18:24,031
- And I'll fix...
- Not kidding.

1753
01:18:24,064 --> 01:18:25,032
Son of a...

1754
01:18:26,333 --> 01:18:28,135
<i>♪ If love is tough ♪</i>

1755
01:18:28,168 --> 01:18:31,238
<i>♪ Let's dance all night ♪</i>

1756
01:18:31,271 --> 01:18:32,873
<i>♪ Don't blame love... ♪</i>

1757
01:18:32,907 --> 01:18:34,743
Sorry, could I talk to you
for one second?

1758
01:18:34,775 --> 01:18:36,443
Hi, I'm kind of in
the middle of somethin' here.

1759
01:18:36,476 --> 01:18:38,880
I understand. I'm so sorry,
just one second.

1760
01:18:38,912 --> 01:18:42,049
I come by here every day.
I love you, you're great.

1761
01:18:42,082 --> 01:18:43,350
Can you be in a band?

1762
01:18:43,384 --> 01:18:45,153
- Oh, I don't...
- Like, right now.

1763
01:18:45,185 --> 01:18:49,156
Sorry, what I meant to say
was, right now, please,

1764
01:18:49,189 --> 01:18:51,158
because two minutes ago,
across the street,

1765
01:18:51,192 --> 01:18:53,360
at my wedding...
Not <i>my</i> wedding...

1766
01:18:53,394 --> 01:18:56,331
But anyway,
half of our band just quit.

1767
01:18:56,363 --> 01:19:00,468
So, you could be
the new other half, and...

1768
01:19:03,104 --> 01:19:04,506
Just please, help me out.

1769
01:19:04,538 --> 01:19:06,073
I really can't
let this couple down.

1770
01:19:06,106 --> 01:19:09,077
It just has to be their
perfect day.

1771
01:19:09,109 --> 01:19:11,011
And I will carry your stuff...

1772
01:19:11,045 --> 01:19:13,047
I don't play in bands,
I work alone.

1773
01:19:13,079 --> 01:19:15,850
I get that.

1774
01:19:15,882 --> 01:19:19,320
I know I sound crazy.
I'm just desperate.

1775
01:19:21,087 --> 01:19:22,423
He comes, too.

1776
01:19:25,292 --> 01:19:26,293
I thought you only work alone?

1777
01:19:26,327 --> 01:19:28,029
I was wrong.

1778
01:19:28,061 --> 01:19:29,229
What's his name?

1779
01:19:29,262 --> 01:19:30,564
I don't know.

1780
01:19:30,597 --> 01:19:33,201
Mister Guitar Man,

1781
01:19:33,234 --> 01:19:35,069
would you care to join...

1782
01:19:35,101 --> 01:19:38,372
- Jordan.
- Jordan, in our new band?

1783
01:19:38,405 --> 01:19:41,909
- Happy to. Yeah.
- Amazing! Okay!

1784
01:19:50,451 --> 01:19:53,288
Where're you off to?
A gig? Need brass?

1785
01:19:53,320 --> 01:19:54,922
Oh, definitely.

1786
01:19:56,056 --> 01:19:57,958
Can I join the parade?

1787
01:19:57,992 --> 01:19:59,127
Why not?

1788
01:20:09,936 --> 01:20:11,972
It's exactly five o'clock,
and I'm here live

1789
01:20:12,006 --> 01:20:13,541
with our own Prince Charming

1790
01:20:13,573 --> 01:20:15,409
who's hoping to find
Cinderella waiting for him

1791
01:20:15,443 --> 01:20:17,045
right here in the park.

1792
01:20:17,078 --> 01:20:19,547
Romance is alive and well,
and even though

1793
01:20:19,579 --> 01:20:21,850
his own wedding is
scheduled at six pm tonight,

1794
01:20:21,882 --> 01:20:23,917
Robert Barton came here
to be part of this.

1795
01:20:23,951 --> 01:20:26,386
This is what makes Boston
the greatest city in the world

1796
01:20:26,420 --> 01:20:28,222
- and I just couldn't keep...
- Let's do this.

1797
01:20:28,256 --> 01:20:30,158
- We're doing this.
- Stay tuned.

1798
01:20:38,899 --> 01:20:40,067
There he is!

1799
01:20:40,100 --> 01:20:42,202
Oh!

1800
01:20:42,235 --> 01:20:43,904
Hey.

1801
01:20:45,538 --> 01:20:47,140
Is she here?

1802
01:20:47,173 --> 01:20:48,376
Who's to know? It's so crazy.

1803
01:20:50,043 --> 01:20:52,881
Everybody shutting up!

1804
01:20:52,913 --> 01:20:55,483
Thank you.
Now, lining up

1805
01:20:55,515 --> 01:20:58,452
so that Mr. Ritchie
can finding his girlfriend.

1806
01:20:58,485 --> 01:21:02,055
Huh? Lining up, lining up.
Go, go, go!

1807
01:21:02,088 --> 01:21:04,225
What would we do
without the mafia? Thank you!

1808
01:21:04,257 --> 01:21:05,592
- Thank you very much.
- Okay.

1809
01:21:05,626 --> 01:21:08,363
- Um, hi.
- Hi.

1810
01:21:08,395 --> 01:21:10,597
How are you? Thank you.
Thank you for coming.

1811
01:21:10,631 --> 01:21:12,432
- I love that. It's amazing.
- Hi!

1812
01:21:12,466 --> 01:21:14,636
All right.
Sorry, pal.

1813
01:21:14,668 --> 01:21:17,037
Actually, no,
let me get a selfie.

1814
01:21:17,070 --> 01:21:18,907
My mom's never
going to believe this.

1815
01:21:18,939 --> 01:21:21,108
Mark Wahlberg
tried to win my heart.

1816
01:21:21,141 --> 01:21:22,309
Bam!

1817
01:21:22,342 --> 01:21:23,577
Thank you so much for comin'.

1818
01:21:23,610 --> 01:21:25,445
Thank you. All right.

1819
01:21:25,479 --> 01:21:27,515
You're married, you shouldn't
be here. Go home.

1820
01:21:27,547 --> 01:21:29,516
Hey. On the six-pack,
I love it.

1821
01:21:29,550 --> 01:21:32,420
Ah! You're about to
faint for me. Okay, girl.

1822
01:21:32,453 --> 01:21:35,290
On the leg, no-no, it's
supposed to be on the neck.

1823
01:21:35,323 --> 01:21:36,691
Yeah, it's okay.

1824
01:21:36,724 --> 01:21:38,226
Hey, how are you guys?

1825
01:21:38,259 --> 01:21:40,395
Oh. That looks real.

1826
01:21:40,427 --> 01:21:42,997
Oh, on your wrist.
Okay.

1827
01:21:43,029 --> 01:21:44,131
Cool.

1828
01:21:49,036 --> 01:21:50,005
Hey.

1829
01:21:56,543 --> 01:21:57,612
She's not here.

1830
01:22:08,622 --> 01:22:10,291
Ladies, you are all wonderful.

1831
01:22:10,323 --> 01:22:12,092
If it were legal,
I'd set up a cult,

1832
01:22:12,126 --> 01:22:13,661
and I'd marry every one of you.

1833
01:22:13,694 --> 01:22:15,997
- I'll join!
- Me, too! Yeah!

1834
01:22:18,064 --> 01:22:20,100
Unfortunately,
we are late for a wedding.

1835
01:22:20,134 --> 01:22:21,569
And there's only one person

1836
01:22:21,601 --> 01:22:23,403
that can get us
to the church on time.

1837
01:22:23,436 --> 01:22:25,506
Me, Captain Ritchie.
So, I have to go.

1838
01:22:25,538 --> 01:22:26,707
Let's go, let's go!

1839
01:22:26,740 --> 01:22:29,042
Bye!

1840
01:22:29,076 --> 01:22:30,444
Bye!

1841
01:22:36,182 --> 01:22:37,752
Okay. Well,
tell him to floor it.

1842
01:22:41,188 --> 01:22:42,757
- Oh, my God!
- Ta-da!

1843
01:22:42,789 --> 01:22:45,025
Look at you!
You look like a dream!

1844
01:22:45,059 --> 01:22:47,729
- Jessie! This is amazing!
- Watch the stairs.

1845
01:22:47,761 --> 01:22:50,631
Oh, surprise.
Yeah, zero emissions.

1846
01:22:51,564 --> 01:22:53,134
Well, kinda.

1847
01:22:53,167 --> 01:22:55,069
- Close enough.
- More or less.

1848
01:22:55,101 --> 01:22:56,570
Okay. Here we go. Hop on.

1849
01:22:56,604 --> 01:22:58,073
Whoo-hoo!

1850
01:22:59,239 --> 01:23:01,108
Jessie, this is awesome!

1851
01:23:01,141 --> 01:23:04,112
You have truly
created the perfect day.

1852
01:23:04,145 --> 01:23:06,447
Good. Okay, ready?

1853
01:23:06,479 --> 01:23:08,315
- Let's get you married.
- Let's do it.

1854
01:23:08,349 --> 01:23:09,684
All right, we're ready.

1855
01:23:09,716 --> 01:23:11,551
Come on. Get up.

1856
01:23:11,585 --> 01:23:13,453
- How're you feeling?
- Feeling good. Yeah.

1857
01:23:13,487 --> 01:23:15,023
Ah!

1858
01:23:15,055 --> 01:23:16,323
Oh, my God!

1859
01:23:16,356 --> 01:23:17,625
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I guess.

1860
01:23:17,658 --> 01:23:18,626
I mean, what happened?

1861
01:23:19,726 --> 01:23:22,063
- Uh, wow.
- Is... What?

1862
01:23:22,095 --> 01:23:25,198
Your train is wrapped around
the wheel spoke.

1863
01:23:25,231 --> 01:23:27,335
- You got it?
- No. It's stuck.

1864
01:23:27,368 --> 01:23:29,504
You know what? Sir,
can you back up a little bit

1865
01:23:29,537 --> 01:23:31,271
and just see if
we can get it to unwind?

1866
01:23:31,305 --> 01:23:34,142
Stuck. She won't move.
Can't go forward or back.

1867
01:23:34,175 --> 01:23:36,177
- This is a disaster.
- One second.

1868
01:23:36,210 --> 01:23:38,512
- Hey, you guys. Need some help?
- Hi.

1869
01:23:38,546 --> 01:23:40,213
I don't know. Jessie, do you...

1870
01:23:42,515 --> 01:23:44,684
The wedding trasher
strikes again.

1871
01:23:44,717 --> 01:23:46,421
Hey! That girl is my friend.

1872
01:23:46,453 --> 01:23:48,221
Okay, you don't talk to
my friend like that.

1873
01:23:48,255 --> 01:23:50,425
If you do, I will show you
the dictionary definition

1874
01:23:50,457 --> 01:23:52,659
of the word "trasher.".
You get it?

1875
01:23:52,693 --> 01:23:54,429
- Yes, ma'am.
- Apologize to her!

1876
01:23:54,462 --> 01:23:56,597
I'm sorry.

1877
01:23:56,630 --> 01:23:58,466
Now beat it before
I wrap your tricycle

1878
01:23:58,498 --> 01:23:59,768
around your fat head!

1879
01:24:03,537 --> 01:24:06,106
You! Stop!

1880
01:24:16,684 --> 01:24:20,253
Young lady, can I count on
your vote in November?

1881
01:24:20,287 --> 01:24:23,490
Was this on the registry?

1882
01:24:43,444 --> 01:24:46,414
Bev, you did it! I love you!

1883
01:24:46,447 --> 01:24:48,449
Ooh! And I,
much to my amazement,

1884
01:24:48,481 --> 01:24:50,417
am quite fond of you.

1885
01:24:50,451 --> 01:24:51,652
I've gotta go.

1886
01:24:54,354 --> 01:24:57,357
You are a hero.
I can't thank you enough.

1887
01:24:57,390 --> 01:24:59,159
My pleasure, man.

1888
01:24:59,193 --> 01:25:00,261
Sorry about your girl.

1889
01:25:00,293 --> 01:25:02,363
She wasn't my girl.

1890
01:25:02,395 --> 01:25:03,398
Was just...

1891
01:25:04,832 --> 01:25:06,534
Crazy love.

1892
01:25:06,567 --> 01:25:08,136
It's all crazy.

1893
01:25:08,168 --> 01:25:11,139
Look, my bride,

1894
01:25:11,171 --> 01:25:12,706
three mafia goons,

1895
01:25:12,739 --> 01:25:14,407
and my brother
chained to a stripper.

1896
01:25:14,440 --> 01:25:16,577
But in the end,
you got the girl.

1897
01:25:16,609 --> 01:25:20,280
Come with me.
It's gonna be a great party.

1898
01:25:20,314 --> 01:25:21,349
I'm good, thank you.

1899
01:25:22,615 --> 01:25:24,685
Okay. Thanks again.

1900
01:25:27,320 --> 01:25:28,355
Hey.

1901
01:25:29,489 --> 01:25:31,559
Don't give up on the crazy.

1902
01:25:31,591 --> 01:25:32,826
That's what makes love...

1903
01:25:34,662 --> 01:25:35,663
Love.

1904
01:25:55,416 --> 01:25:57,217
I've never seen
an avocado do that.

1905
01:25:59,886 --> 01:26:01,721
So, remember, Robert,

1906
01:26:01,755 --> 01:26:03,658
when you hook up to
the old ball and chain,

1907
01:26:03,690 --> 01:26:05,458
don't do it like I did.

1908
01:26:05,492 --> 01:26:07,427
She's got the balls
and I've got the chain.

1909
01:26:14,001 --> 01:26:15,469
Hey, everybody!

1910
01:26:15,502 --> 01:26:17,305
How we doing?

1911
01:26:17,337 --> 01:26:19,439
All right. Thank you all
so much for coming.

1912
01:26:19,472 --> 01:26:22,210
This is my first wedding,
and hopefully my last.

1913
01:26:22,243 --> 01:26:23,778
Um...

1914
01:26:23,810 --> 01:26:26,546
And this great event
was created by Jessie English.

1915
01:26:28,615 --> 01:26:32,252
Who, thankfully,
decided not to parachute

1916
01:26:32,286 --> 01:26:34,454
through the top of a tent.

1917
01:26:34,488 --> 01:26:36,557
But seriously, Jessie,
thank you so much.

1918
01:26:37,957 --> 01:26:39,759
Hey, what about me?

1919
01:26:39,792 --> 01:26:41,595
Oh, I'm sorry, and you are?

1920
01:26:42,895 --> 01:26:44,532
Have a good time, everybody!

1921
01:26:51,572 --> 01:26:53,541
Well, speaking
of new marriages,

1922
01:26:53,573 --> 01:26:55,009
"Celebration"!

1923
01:27:02,382 --> 01:27:04,351
We don't know how to play it.

1924
01:27:09,756 --> 01:27:11,291
"Celebration."

1925
01:27:30,677 --> 01:27:32,279
<i>♪ Yahoo! ♪</i>

1926
01:27:33,479 --> 01:27:35,482
<i>♪ It's a celebration ♪</i>

1927
01:27:38,985 --> 01:27:41,555
<i>♪ Yahoo! ♪</i>

1928
01:27:41,587 --> 01:27:43,690
- What's wrong?
- <i>♪ It's a celebration ♪</i>

1929
01:27:43,724 --> 01:27:47,028
<i>♪ Celebrate good times
Come on! ♪</i>

1930
01:27:47,060 --> 01:27:48,695
Look at that.

1931
01:27:48,729 --> 01:27:51,632
<i>♪ It's a celebration ♪</i>

1932
01:27:51,664 --> 01:27:53,367
It's perfect.

1933
01:27:53,399 --> 01:27:55,635
<i>♪ Celebrate good times
Come on! ♪</i>

1934
01:27:55,668 --> 01:27:59,306
It's really not perfect.

1935
01:27:59,340 --> 01:28:01,509
Oh, look at the two of them.

1936
01:28:01,542 --> 01:28:03,811
If that's not perfect,
then it doesn't need to be.

1937
01:28:03,844 --> 01:28:05,078
You did good, kid.

1938
01:28:05,112 --> 01:28:07,614
Thank you, Larry.

1939
01:28:07,648 --> 01:28:09,350
Oh, no. Only...

1940
01:28:09,382 --> 01:28:11,018
There's only one person
who calls me Larry.

1941
01:28:11,051 --> 01:28:13,020
- Oh, really?
- Oh, yeah.

1942
01:28:13,052 --> 01:28:15,021
If you keep up
this nice guy crap,

1943
01:28:15,055 --> 01:28:16,757
everybody's
gonna call you Larry.

1944
01:28:18,524 --> 01:28:21,028
<i>♪ Celebrate good times
Come on! ♪</i>

1945
01:28:22,729 --> 01:28:24,964
<i>♪ It's a celebration! ♪</i>

1946
01:28:24,997 --> 01:28:28,935
<i>♪ Celebrate good times
Come on! ♪</i>

1947
01:28:28,969 --> 01:28:32,006
<i>♪ Ooh, it's a celebration! ♪</i>

1948
01:28:32,038 --> 01:28:34,974
<i>♪ There's a party going on
Round here ♪</i>

1949
01:28:35,007 --> 01:28:39,512
<i>♪ A celebration to last
Throughout the year ♪</i>

1950
01:28:39,546 --> 01:28:42,717
<i>♪ So, bring your good times
And your laughter too ♪</i>

1951
01:28:44,650 --> 01:28:48,421
<i>♪ We're gonna celebrate
Your party with you ♪</i>

1952
01:28:48,454 --> 01:28:52,393
<i>♪ Celebration ♪</i>

1953
01:28:52,426 --> 01:28:56,097
<i>♪ Let's all celebrate
And have a good time ♪</i>

1954
01:28:56,130 --> 01:28:59,467
<i>♪ Celebration ♪</i>

1955
01:28:59,500 --> 01:29:04,471
<i>♪ Oh, we're gonna celebrate
And have a good time ♪</i>

1956
01:29:04,505 --> 01:29:08,141
<i>♪ It's time to come together ♪</i>

1957
01:29:08,175 --> 01:29:12,046
<i>♪ It's up to you
What's your pleasure ♪</i>

1958
01:29:12,078 --> 01:29:16,750
<i>♪ Everyone around the world
Come on! ♪</i>

1959
01:29:16,783 --> 01:29:19,452
<i>♪ Mm, it's a celebration! ♪</i>

1960
01:29:19,485 --> 01:29:21,087
<i>♪ Yahoo! ♪</i>

1961
01:29:21,121 --> 01:29:23,824
- <i>♪ It's a celebration! ♪</i>
- <i>♪ Whoo! ♪</i>

1962
01:29:23,856 --> 01:29:26,894
<i>♪ We're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪</i>

1963
01:29:26,926 --> 01:29:31,931
<i>♪ Let's celebrate,
It's all right ♪</i>

1964
01:29:31,965 --> 01:29:34,902
<i>♪ We're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪</i>

1965
01:29:34,935 --> 01:29:39,472
<i>♪ Let's celebrate,
It's all right ♪</i>

1966
01:29:39,506 --> 01:29:42,910
<i>♪ Yeah, we're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪</i>

1967
01:29:42,943 --> 01:29:44,145
<i>♪ Let's celebrate ♪</i>

1968
01:29:44,177 --> 01:29:46,846
<i>♪ Celebration ♪</i>

1969
01:29:46,880 --> 01:29:51,484
<i>♪ Oh, we're gonna celebrate
And have a good time ♪</i>

1970
01:29:51,518 --> 01:29:55,555
<i>♪ Celebration ♪</i>

1971
01:29:55,588 --> 01:29:59,493
<i>♪ Let's all celebrate
And have a good time ♪</i>

1972
01:29:59,525 --> 01:30:02,128
<i>♪ We're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪</i>

1973
01:30:02,162 --> 01:30:05,966
<i>♪ Let's celebrate
It's all right ♪</i>

1974
01:30:05,998 --> 01:30:10,069
<i>♪ Yeah, we're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪</i>

1975
01:30:10,103 --> 01:30:13,875
<i>♪ Let's celebrate
'Cause it's all right ♪</i>

1976
01:30:15,809 --> 01:30:19,213
<i>♪ It's time to come together ♪</i>

1977
01:30:19,246 --> 01:30:23,150
<i>♪ It's up to you
What's your pleasure? ♪</i>

1978
01:30:23,182 --> 01:30:27,988
<i>♪ Everyone around the world
come on! ♪</i>

1979
01:30:28,020 --> 01:30:31,157
<i>♪ Mm, it's a celebration! ♪</i>

1980
01:30:43,170 --> 01:30:45,172
All right! Hold it down!

1981
01:30:45,204 --> 01:30:48,641
Hold it down! Let's
just get this over with.

1982
01:30:48,675 --> 01:30:50,845
Final show. Crash Couples.

1983
01:30:50,877 --> 01:30:52,712
Someone walks away with a mill.

1984
01:30:52,746 --> 01:30:55,082
Someone walks away with bupkis.

1985
01:30:55,114 --> 01:30:56,951
The results are in.

1986
01:30:56,984 --> 01:30:59,687
Tiny and Shaq have been
leading the voting

1987
01:30:59,720 --> 01:31:01,789
for the last five days.

1988
01:31:03,556 --> 01:31:04,858
Which means you two

1989
01:31:04,891 --> 01:31:06,693
have been getting
your asses kicked.

1990
01:31:06,726 --> 01:31:08,761
But...

1991
01:31:08,795 --> 01:31:11,966
A giant tidal wave
of last minute votes

1992
01:31:11,998 --> 01:31:15,135
produced
an impossible comeback.

1993
01:31:15,167 --> 01:31:17,036
The winners are

1994
01:31:17,069 --> 01:31:19,706
Jimmy and Svetlana!

1995
01:31:30,583 --> 01:31:31,685
That was us.

1996
01:31:35,118 --> 01:31:40,118
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org