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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎今日的麻煩是地平說信徒

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‎在美國航太博物館外聚集抗議

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‎（地平抗議）

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‎地球不是圓的，是平的

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‎我們來這抗議這件事

7
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‎天啊，地平這種瞎話

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‎為什麼陰謀論者越來越蠢？

9
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‎他們要是知道顯而易見的事實就好了

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‎地球不是平的，是空心的

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‎裡頭都是鼴鼠人、海怪
‎還有《回到侏羅紀》的那家人

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‎他們不知道鼴鼠人？

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‎學校砍掉科學預算就是這樣，哀傷

14
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‎你再讓我失望
‎我就找出你的家人住哪

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‎花店真難搞，我說的對吧？

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‎幸好我媽的婚禮是今晚

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‎婚禮規劃讓我好想吐

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‎我最愛婚禮了

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‎那是兩個厭倦交友軟體而屈就的靈魂

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‎所舉辦的慶典

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‎重點來了，我媽要嫁給她自己

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‎邀請函上面是兩個民子

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‎我以為妳媽是同志，我是種族歧視者

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‎我媽嫁給自己

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‎只是用來惹火我爸的
‎另一個誇張手法而已

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‎所以我一直努力積極隱瞞這件事

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‎我爸發現這場婚禮
‎情況一定會天翻地覆

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‎（蘭德，我要再婚）

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‎我們其他人很期待在星光下

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‎搭傑爾的超級遊艇出遊

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‎拜託，布萊特
‎是超豪華遊艇，我們有船上馬場呢

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‎我自願當保全

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‎我在自己的婚禮上
‎對可疑的賓客進行體腔檢查

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‎結果我們根本不需要禮物清單

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‎看到沒，芮根？婚禮很神奇

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‎別再擔心妳爸媽，找點樂子吧

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‎樂子？你沒見識過我爸媽的能耐

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‎他們有一次吵架引發漣漪效應

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‎進而造成洛杉磯暴動

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‎我只要熬過婚禮

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‎因為只要我們再次靠岸
‎我就要搭下一班飛機去波哈波哈島

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‎芮根老人要躺在沙灘上

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‎享受建議範圍內的血壓

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‎布萊特，借一步說話

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‎儘管我風度翩翩
‎但我借船辦婚禮不是玩票性質

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‎我的遊艇是個錢坑

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‎保養費就快讓我的財富下滑到…

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‎最有錢的0.2％裡

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‎不要，傑爾，別說出口，不要

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‎我計畫在婚禮上
‎把遊艇賣給其中一位有錢的肥貓

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‎所以我需要你炒熱買氣

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‎假扮有意願買船的億萬富翁

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‎單獨出任務？

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‎對，如果你成功了

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‎我會熱情稱讚你“幹得好”

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‎傑爾，這怎麼好意思

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‎下午四點起錨，各位，別遲到了

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‎一切都要完美到位

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‎妳需要按摩

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‎天啊，她的思想，那怒氣、驚駭

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‎我們活在危險邊緣
‎婚禮可能會終結我們

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‎對，如果有需要的話，我會打領結喔

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‎我在新聞上看到你們抗議

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‎你們讓全球主義份子知道誰是老大

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‎多年來因為信仰而被嘲笑後

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‎太好了，站我們這邊的
‎終於有受人敬重的科學家

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‎而非受人敬重的職籃球員

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‎對，我帶著敬意嗆到了

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‎真要命，千萬別出門，外頭雨好大

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‎我買了各式雜貨
‎這樣整個週末都不用出門

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‎芮根，這位是華府地平社群分會

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‎他們很久沒看到女生了

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‎你為什麼跟一群地平論者在聊天室？

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‎幾年前，我跟傑爾打賭

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‎他說沒有一種想法
‎會蠢到讓人無法相信

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‎於是我散播地平理論，結果成效很好

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‎現在我只要慫恿他們惹火傑爾就好

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‎接下來的72小時
‎這很適合拿來分散注意力

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‎整晚的任務？

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‎天啊，看來我整個週末都要工作

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‎你好好待在家，先這樣，再見

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‎我剛說到

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‎這部神秘的紀錄片
‎可以看到地球真正的形狀

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‎《王牌天神》

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‎對，我想也是

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‎（雨水製造機）

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‎好，假暴風雨騙到他了

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‎所以他哪也不會去

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‎狀況解除，我們攔截了婚禮邀請函

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‎好好享受令堂的大日子

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‎享受？

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‎（阿特拉斯聳聳肩號）

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‎（恭喜民子與民子）

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‎歡迎各位

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‎我跟我十分感謝各位蒞臨

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‎媽，我要妳20分鐘後上樓

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‎親愛的，一定要戴這麼醜的耳機嗎？

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‎今天的能量是喜悅，不是速食得來速

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‎媽，我算是來工作的

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‎要全神貫注才行

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‎答應我妳會放輕鬆，享受生活

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‎我這麼做不只是為了自己

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‎妳嫁給自己不是為了妳自己？

104
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‎我這麼做也是為了妳，親愛的

105
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‎讓妳知道服務自己時，人生會有多好

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‎總之呢，快去服務賓客

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‎（歡迎蒞臨民子的婚禮）

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‎-袋子打開
‎-裡頭沒有不好的東西

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‎只有一大堆非法毒品

110
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‎沒問題，兄弟

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‎不要，天啊，不行

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‎天啊，我好愛你們

113
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‎規定就是這樣，這是無毒活動

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‎沒關係，我嗑不嗑藥
‎都一樣有趣，只是有點不同

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‎這樣啊，我從沒看過你清醒

116
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‎不是很有趣，就是嚴重無趣

117
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‎不管怎樣都會很有趣

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‎-把氦氣放下
‎-嘿

119
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‎不好意思，先生，我要請你讓開

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‎兄弟，這裡只有我可以含糊威脅大家

121
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‎葛倫，我請了自己的保全

122
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‎這裡賓客雲集
‎我需要處於顛峰狀態的人

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‎妳說的“顛峰”是什麼意思？

124
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‎看到沒？我在九公尺外做掉了服務生

125
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‎我做好戰鬥準備

126
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‎你何不享受派對

127
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‎好好享用整桶的生蝦？

128
00:06:40,418 --> 00:06:42,376
‎阿特拉斯聳聳肩號

129
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‎正是讓伯尼桑德斯
‎在電視直播節目上吐槽的那艘遊艇

130
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‎但我發現船上葡萄園的限制

131
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‎所以考慮要把船賣掉

132
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‎妳知道，每個月…

133
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‎在下有興趣

134
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‎很高興見到各位

135
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‎我是《冰與火之歌》的喬佛里

136
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‎這兩片是我的單眼鏡

137
00:07:02,584 --> 00:07:03,959
‎布萊特，你在幹嘛？

138
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‎我叫你要有億萬富翁的樣子

139
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‎不是扮成花生先生

140
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‎我在幫你賣遊艇
‎我下很多功夫鑽研角色

141
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‎我是被寵壞的王子
‎爸媽其實是兄妹關係

142
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‎別鬧了，快脫掉這身荒謬的服裝

143
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‎省得你在大家面前丟我的臉

144
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‎（亞馬遜Prime）

145
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‎24小時網購

146
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‎傑夫貝佐斯

147
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‎全球最有錢的男人

148
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‎-你覺得我的遊艇如何？
‎-這個嘛…

149
00:07:33,501 --> 00:07:35,376
‎對你來說可能太貴了

150
00:07:35,459 --> 00:07:38,001
‎你連單眼鏡都沒戴

151
00:07:38,084 --> 00:07:40,668
‎我現在要去欣賞懲罰僕人室

152
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:43,668
‎等等，你戴兩只單眼鏡引起我的興趣

153
00:07:43,751 --> 00:07:46,084
‎我應該我們沒見過，米斯特…

154
00:07:46,168 --> 00:07:47,709
‎請叫我喬佛里

155
00:07:47,793 --> 00:07:50,084
‎米斯特是我的舅父

156
00:07:52,751 --> 00:07:54,501
‎所以雷博士，我們聽了你的建議

157
00:07:54,584 --> 00:07:59,334
‎還買了船要開啟首次地平探險

158
00:07:59,418 --> 00:08:01,251
‎你有地球邊緣的座標嗎？

159
00:08:01,334 --> 00:08:04,334
‎當然有，緯度5度12分

160
00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:07,168
‎經度24度46分

161
00:08:07,251 --> 00:08:08,459
‎威力球是12號

162
00:08:09,834 --> 00:08:11,876
‎桑多斯？誰要去桑多斯度假村？

163
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,501
‎這間屋子裡沒人喜歡玩樂

164
00:08:14,168 --> 00:08:18,334
‎鮮花、蛋糕、肯尼吉的柔和爵士樂？

165
00:08:18,418 --> 00:08:20,209
‎我太太要再婚

166
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:24,168
‎哈洛，你剛說你有船？

167
00:08:28,334 --> 00:08:29,959
‎我忘記帶暈船藥了

168
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:30,876
‎我沒忘

169
00:08:32,293 --> 00:08:33,834
‎熊歐，先端給饒舌歌手

170
00:08:33,918 --> 00:08:35,001
‎再端給皇室人員

171
00:08:35,084 --> 00:08:36,459
‎葛倫，有事要回報嗎？

172
00:08:37,043 --> 00:08:38,751
‎酒吧區很平靜

173
00:08:39,501 --> 00:08:43,168
‎我已失去尊嚴，蝦子是我僅剩的

174
00:08:43,251 --> 00:08:44,501
‎（海鷗：吃屎吧，飛寶）

175
00:08:47,376 --> 00:08:50,043
‎好，我被狂熱基督徒養大都沒事了

176
00:08:50,126 --> 00:08:51,334
‎沒嗑藥也不會死的

177
00:08:51,418 --> 00:08:54,209
‎我有說過我在高中時的
‎角色扮演遊戲錦標賽嗎？

178
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‎-那是…
‎-高額獎金的《上古卷軸》

179
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‎我們知道，你是唯一一個

180
00:08:57,918 --> 00:09:01,501
‎沒喝醉也會一再講述這爛故事的人

181
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,376
‎我沒喝酒時，焦慮症會發作

182
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,543
‎靠，屎尿，奶子
‎琪琪，妳真是耀眼奪目

183
00:09:05,626 --> 00:09:06,501
‎搞什麼？

184
00:09:06,584 --> 00:09:08,168
‎抱歉，我的妥瑞氏症也感到抱歉

185
00:09:08,251 --> 00:09:09,584
‎但至少我的強迫症已經…

186
00:09:09,668 --> 00:09:12,084
‎一二三四，四三二一

187
00:09:12,168 --> 00:09:14,459
‎我們需要毒品，現在就要

188
00:09:24,334 --> 00:09:26,876
‎謝謝你，吉先生

189
00:09:27,501 --> 00:09:30,876
‎各位，典禮即將開始

190
00:09:33,418 --> 00:09:36,084
‎真辣，好像我女兒的年長版

191
00:09:44,043 --> 00:09:46,001
‎各位請就座

192
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‎哈囉，多數人知道我是葛妮絲派特洛

193
00:09:49,084 --> 00:09:54,293
‎但我也是“民子最好的朋友”

194
00:09:54,918 --> 00:09:55,751
‎抱抱

195
00:09:55,834 --> 00:09:58,001
‎今天我們要慶祝所有…

196
00:09:58,084 --> 00:09:59,293
‎我反對

197
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:03,584
‎放下戒指，嘴唇擺在我看得到的地方

198
00:10:03,668 --> 00:10:05,001
‎天啊

199
00:10:08,334 --> 00:10:09,251
‎到底是誰…

200
00:10:09,334 --> 00:10:11,751
‎真要命，你帶了地平論者？

201
00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:14,418
‎雷德利博士
‎我們為什麼出現在婚禮遊艇上？

202
00:10:14,501 --> 00:10:17,168
‎新郎呢？我要把他踢到縮陽

203
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,376
‎沒有新郎，蘭德

204
00:10:19,459 --> 00:10:23,001
‎我嫁給我自己以宣示賦予自己權力

205
00:10:23,084 --> 00:10:25,834
‎搞屁，妳這麼做
‎是想引起我注意，對吧？

206
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:27,959
‎天啊，太蠢了，真性感

207
00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:29,168
‎你這個自戀狂

208
00:10:29,251 --> 00:10:32,126
‎想把我的婚禮重點放自己身上

209
00:10:32,209 --> 00:10:35,126
‎天啊，我開始理解
‎妳怎麼會這麼崩壞了，芮根

210
00:10:35,209 --> 00:10:36,584
‎有各種層次

211
00:10:36,668 --> 00:10:38,751
‎爸，你得走了

212
00:10:38,834 --> 00:10:41,751
‎這是說我們不會去地球邊緣了嗎？

213
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,959
‎但我帶了最棒的腰包

214
00:10:45,043 --> 00:10:46,876
‎各位先生，我爸騙了你們

215
00:10:46,959 --> 00:10:51,501
‎他不認為地球是平的
‎他只是利用你們上我們的船

216
00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:52,876
‎你騙我們？

217
00:10:52,959 --> 00:10:56,709
‎但我們感情很好，就像北極和南極

218
00:10:56,793 --> 00:10:58,001
‎別鬧了

219
00:10:58,084 --> 00:11:00,793
‎你不是真以為地球是平的吧？

220
00:11:00,876 --> 00:11:02,376
‎我當然這麼想

221
00:11:02,459 --> 00:11:03,918
‎YouTube幹嘛騙我？

222
00:11:04,001 --> 00:11:05,668
‎因為這是他們發大財的方法？

223
00:11:05,751 --> 00:11:07,251
‎我覺得很難相信

224
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:10,459
‎聽著，只要你同意離開
‎我就告訴你一個秘密

225
00:11:10,543 --> 00:11:13,126
‎地球不是平的，而是中空的

226
00:11:13,209 --> 00:11:16,084
‎我們在上面加了蓋子
‎以防海怪出來吃掉人類的船

227
00:11:16,168 --> 00:11:17,501
‎夠了

228
00:11:17,584 --> 00:11:22,918
‎你們這些製造恐懼的人
‎幾年來都在說服我們這些地平論者

229
00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:25,876
‎-對啊
‎-以後不行了

230
00:11:27,126 --> 00:11:28,376
‎不要

231
00:11:30,334 --> 00:11:31,418
‎他們有槍？

232
00:11:31,501 --> 00:11:33,918
‎他們是還在使用聊天室的成人

233
00:11:34,001 --> 00:11:35,876
‎當然有槍

234
00:11:35,959 --> 00:11:37,543
‎放心，他們只是虛張聲勢

235
00:11:37,626 --> 00:11:39,918
‎哇靠，他剛射殺保鏢了

236
00:11:40,751 --> 00:11:43,001
‎（覺醒）

237
00:11:45,376 --> 00:11:47,751
‎不能再跟岸上聯繫了

238
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:50,959
‎看著我

239
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,418
‎船長現在是我了

240
00:11:55,918 --> 00:12:00,209
‎交出皮夾、手機和任何球狀物

241
00:12:00,709 --> 00:12:03,626
‎機器人？外星人？我就知道

242
00:12:03,709 --> 00:12:06,751
‎這是深層政府，我的理論全部正確

243
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:07,668
‎我不是外星人

244
00:12:07,751 --> 00:12:11,376
‎我是地底的通靈蘑菇，來自蜂巢群…

245
00:12:11,459 --> 00:12:13,793
‎好，太多資訊了，所以你是外星人

246
00:12:13,876 --> 00:12:16,751
‎你們哪一個光明會的人

247
00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:20,334
‎要跟我說地球的邊緣在哪？

248
00:12:20,418 --> 00:12:21,418
‎這都怪你

249
00:12:21,501 --> 00:12:23,584
‎你經手的東西都會掉漆

250
00:12:23,668 --> 00:12:25,334
‎我們的婚姻、孩子…

251
00:12:25,418 --> 00:12:29,543
‎難怪芮根這麼搞怪
‎她在妳體內待了九個月

252
00:12:29,626 --> 00:12:32,543
‎操，如果不控制住情況

253
00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:34,751
‎我就會趕不上波哈波哈島的班機

254
00:12:35,334 --> 00:12:37,501
‎-發生什麼事？
‎-葛倫，你在哪？

255
00:12:38,293 --> 00:12:40,459
‎在我親手打造的人肉監獄裡

256
00:12:40,543 --> 00:12:42,626
‎我們被地平論海盜劫船

257
00:12:42,709 --> 00:12:45,001
‎他們抱持反對立場…

258
00:12:45,501 --> 00:12:47,543
‎整場的活動目的不是很明顯

259
00:12:47,626 --> 00:12:49,626
‎但他們備有武器而且搞不清楚情況

260
00:12:49,709 --> 00:12:51,168
‎不速之客？

261
00:12:51,709 --> 00:12:53,334
‎有我在就免談

262
00:12:55,918 --> 00:12:58,293
‎舞廳上方有通風口

263
00:12:58,376 --> 00:12:59,626
‎找路過去

264
00:12:59,709 --> 00:13:00,668
‎（消毒用）

265
00:13:00,751 --> 00:13:03,084
‎如果我們突擊他們，可能會有機會

266
00:13:03,168 --> 00:13:04,668
‎好，葛倫

267
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:08,584
‎證明你不胖的最好方法就是殺人

268
00:13:08,668 --> 00:13:09,668
‎來吧

269
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:14,668
‎好，葛倫，我準備好了

270
00:13:14,751 --> 00:13:17,126
‎收到，飛寶向目標前進中

271
00:13:19,126 --> 00:13:21,418
‎真不敢相信我在自己的遊艇上被挾持

272
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:23,293
‎太荒謬了

273
00:13:23,376 --> 00:13:27,626
‎把所有人關在悶熱的空間好幾個小時

274
00:13:27,709 --> 00:13:31,043
‎逼我們尿在罐子裡，請病假還不給錢

275
00:13:31,126 --> 00:13:33,668
‎這絕對不是要諷刺我

276
00:13:33,751 --> 00:13:37,584
‎我個人更想買你的遊艇了

277
00:13:37,668 --> 00:13:40,668
‎現在這艘船
‎可是有被海盜佔領的豐富歷史

278
00:13:40,751 --> 00:13:41,959
‎真華麗

279
00:13:42,043 --> 00:13:43,501
‎這是你的拉屎桶

280
00:13:44,376 --> 00:13:47,584
‎我的恐慌症發作了
‎我需要安撫噪音來讓心情平靜

281
00:13:49,126 --> 00:13:50,959
‎能麻煩你開槍打我嗎？

282
00:13:51,043 --> 00:13:52,084
‎安靜

283
00:13:52,168 --> 00:13:55,001
‎誰來告訴我如何去地球的邊緣

284
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,293
‎不然每小時會死一個人質

285
00:13:57,376 --> 00:14:01,543
‎從全世界最有錢的男人開始

286
00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:05,543
‎貝佐斯呢？

287
00:14:05,626 --> 00:14:06,959
‎他是第二有錢的人

288
00:14:07,043 --> 00:14:08,001
‎第二？

289
00:14:08,084 --> 00:14:09,918
‎除非你一直在騙人

290
00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:13,209
‎即使我們倆都這麼有錢

291
00:14:13,293 --> 00:14:16,584
‎實際數字很抽象又沒意義

292
00:14:16,668 --> 00:14:19,584
‎任何心智正常的人都會繳稅

293
00:14:19,668 --> 00:14:22,918
‎我其實是比較有錢的人

294
00:14:23,001 --> 00:14:24,834
‎我接受我的命運

295
00:14:26,001 --> 00:14:27,168
‎布萊特，你在做什麼？

296
00:14:27,251 --> 00:14:30,209
‎如果他們殺了貝佐斯
‎他就沒辦法買你的船了

297
00:14:30,793 --> 00:14:34,001
‎可惡，你真是帥氣勇敢又頭腦簡單

298
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:39,626
‎葛倫，現在不下手就沒機會了

299
00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:42,126
‎快到了，只差幾公尺遠

300
00:14:43,251 --> 00:14:45,334
‎-葛倫？
‎-我們有麻煩了

301
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,626
‎-什麼？
‎-我們需要更大的船

302
00:14:47,709 --> 00:14:49,334
‎可惡，我一個人做不到

303
00:14:50,001 --> 00:14:52,834
‎親愛的，妳有好幾個月找伴

304
00:14:52,918 --> 00:14:55,209
‎媽，可以不要再教我如何過我的…

305
00:14:56,209 --> 00:14:57,334
‎人生？

306
00:14:59,751 --> 00:15:01,501
‎我需要聲東擊西

307
00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:03,834
‎才能修好船上的無線電並請求支援

308
00:15:03,918 --> 00:15:06,793
‎-你們可以幫個忙嗎？
‎-妳有看過《秘密》這本書嗎？

309
00:15:06,876 --> 00:15:09,126
‎我們可以試著表現出積極度

310
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,834
‎表現個屁

311
00:15:10,918 --> 00:15:12,918
‎你們兩個可以閉嘴嗎？

312
00:15:13,001 --> 00:15:15,043
‎如果我要聽爸媽吵架

313
00:15:15,126 --> 00:15:17,626
‎待在我跟我媽的房間就行了

314
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,251
‎其實他們不會閉嘴

315
00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:21,793
‎除非你讓我媽辦完婚禮

316
00:15:21,876 --> 00:15:23,751
‎把我爸鎖在樓下的房間

317
00:15:24,251 --> 00:15:25,168
‎靠

318
00:15:25,251 --> 00:15:27,501
‎照著做，我就帶你去地球邊緣

319
00:15:27,584 --> 00:15:29,751
‎皇天不負苦心人，好，把他鎖起來

320
00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:32,001
‎把深層政府的朋友們都鎖起來

321
00:15:32,668 --> 00:15:35,293
‎請就坐，我們再次齊聚一堂

322
00:15:35,376 --> 00:15:36,376
‎你沒事吧，貝佐斯？

323
00:15:36,459 --> 00:15:38,376
‎不好，都是喬佛里啦

324
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:41,584
‎現在大家覺得
‎我是世界上第二有錢的人

325
00:15:41,668 --> 00:15:43,959
‎我從來沒這麼丟臉過

326
00:15:44,459 --> 00:15:45,626
‎他救了你一命

327
00:15:45,709 --> 00:15:47,918
‎慈悲就是他的弱點

328
00:15:48,001 --> 00:15:50,251
‎我要買下你的船，重新改名為

329
00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:53,793
‎阿萊莎藍色起源全食生鮮號

330
00:15:53,876 --> 00:15:55,584
‎誰想要智慧音箱？

331
00:15:56,459 --> 00:15:58,793
‎你成功了，做得好，喬佛里

332
00:15:58,876 --> 00:16:01,251
‎現在交換戒指

333
00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:03,334
‎完了，我忘了戒指

334
00:16:03,418 --> 00:16:04,418
‎我馬上回來

335
00:16:04,501 --> 00:16:06,626
‎哈洛，幫我一個忙
‎朗讀《歌林多前書》

336
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:11,084
‎“愛是恆久忍耐，又有恩慈”

337
00:16:11,668 --> 00:16:14,001
‎“愛是不嫉妒，愛是不自誇

338
00:16:14,084 --> 00:16:16,959
‎不張狂，不做害羞的事”

339
00:16:18,376 --> 00:16:22,751
‎你好，有什麼東西
‎大家以為是圓的，但其實是平的？

340
00:16:22,834 --> 00:16:23,668
‎地球

341
00:16:23,751 --> 00:16:25,251
‎不對，是你的蛋蛋

342
00:16:28,376 --> 00:16:31,793
‎好，只要修好這寶貝
‎一切就會回到受控的狀態

343
00:16:31,876 --> 00:16:34,626
‎然後民子說我從不聽她說話

344
00:16:34,709 --> 00:16:38,084
‎因為我只專注於負面、混亂及復仇

345
00:16:38,168 --> 00:16:39,834
‎或之類的東西，我沒在聽

346
00:16:39,918 --> 00:16:42,334
‎來打倒這些海盜吧，誰要跟我一起？

347
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,376
‎我的人生到底在做什麼？

348
00:16:44,459 --> 00:16:47,084
‎我在地下室
‎跟蘑菇和海豚工作，搞什麼？

349
00:16:47,168 --> 00:16:49,043
‎寫擂台詩的那個孩子去哪了？

350
00:16:49,126 --> 00:16:51,709
‎我應該當編劇的，那沒這麼難

351
00:16:52,959 --> 00:16:54,376
‎比聽這傢伙抱怨好

352
00:16:54,459 --> 00:16:56,459
‎-我們加入
‎-也算我一份

353
00:17:00,126 --> 00:17:03,793
‎我們來幫這些渾球調整一下態度

354
00:17:05,293 --> 00:17:07,251
‎“…不輕易發怒…”

355
00:17:07,334 --> 00:17:08,876
‎停下來，我受不了了

356
00:17:08,959 --> 00:17:10,876
‎能量全錯了

357
00:17:13,126 --> 00:17:14,459
‎再見你個圓球啦

358
00:17:16,543 --> 00:17:17,709
‎小事一樁

359
00:17:18,376 --> 00:17:20,251
‎通通躺平吧，各位

360
00:17:20,334 --> 00:17:21,626
‎頌揚曲線

361
00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:24,043
‎傑夫，這都可以解決

362
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,793
‎算了，交易取消

363
00:17:25,876 --> 00:17:29,251
‎如果要把錢丟進水裡
‎我再買另一間報社就行了

364
00:17:34,293 --> 00:17:36,918
‎中大獎，住媽媽地下室的阿宅

365
00:17:37,001 --> 00:17:39,001
‎各位，我在沉陷處

366
00:17:42,251 --> 00:17:45,418
‎好了，求救，我們被海盜挾持了

367
00:17:45,501 --> 00:17:48,043
‎我已經解除狀況了，但需要援助

368
00:17:48,126 --> 00:17:50,168
‎收到，我們收到妳的訊息

369
00:17:50,251 --> 00:17:51,251
‎妳的座標是什麼？

370
00:17:51,334 --> 00:17:52,668
‎王八蛋

371
00:17:52,751 --> 00:17:55,001
‎我們的座標是北緯40.3度

372
00:17:55,876 --> 00:17:56,959
‎搞什麼東西？

373
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:58,626
‎你死定了，混蛋

374
00:17:59,751 --> 00:18:00,876
‎媽、爸

375
00:18:01,376 --> 00:18:02,834
‎-放開我
‎-妳的視線離不開我

376
00:18:02,918 --> 00:18:05,918
‎-天啊
‎-別看著我，你讓我反胃

377
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:09,543
‎恭喜，這下搞得一團亂了

378
00:18:09,626 --> 00:18:10,501
‎妳知道嗎，媽？

379
00:18:10,584 --> 00:18:13,459
‎我要接受妳的建議，擔心自己

380
00:18:13,543 --> 00:18:15,626
‎祝妳解決問題時能從中得到樂趣

381
00:18:18,668 --> 00:18:21,168
‎我自分婚的時候到了，廢物群

382
00:18:21,251 --> 00:18:22,501
‎不行，妳想得美

383
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:23,876
‎等一下

384
00:18:24,459 --> 00:18:25,376
‎我的鞭毛

385
00:18:27,418 --> 00:18:31,418
‎不管怎樣，妳都要帶我去地球邊緣

386
00:18:34,834 --> 00:18:36,168
‎看看你幹的好事

387
00:18:36,251 --> 00:18:37,834
‎媽媽來救妳了

388
00:18:37,918 --> 00:18:40,084
‎拿什麼救，拐彎抹角的批評？

389
00:18:40,834 --> 00:18:41,834
‎有沒有搞錯？

390
00:18:42,418 --> 00:18:43,376
‎有沒有搞錯？

391
00:18:43,459 --> 00:18:44,376
‎有沒有搞錯？

392
00:18:44,918 --> 00:18:46,084
‎有沒有搞錯？

393
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,418
‎你有沒有搞錯？

394
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,376
‎我沒搞錯，開船

395
00:18:50,168 --> 00:18:51,251
‎他沒搞錯

396
00:18:57,543 --> 00:19:00,876
‎我說真的
‎地球不是平的，這都是我捏造的

397
00:19:00,959 --> 00:19:03,834
‎你之前很好騙
‎為什麼現在這麼難騙？

398
00:19:03,918 --> 00:19:06,168
‎好極了，蘭德，嘲笑拿槍的人

399
00:19:06,251 --> 00:19:07,293
‎妳有更好的計畫嗎？

400
00:19:07,376 --> 00:19:09,459
‎我原本有計畫的，結果被你們毀了

401
00:19:09,543 --> 00:19:11,876
‎因為你們只會互相傷害

402
00:19:11,959 --> 00:19:15,084
‎惹出更大的麻煩，拖我下水

403
00:19:16,501 --> 00:19:18,209
‎我們什麼時候會到達邊緣？

404
00:19:18,293 --> 00:19:20,334
‎很快，我們只要維持25節的速度

405
00:19:20,418 --> 00:19:24,709
‎朝140度前進

406
00:19:24,793 --> 00:19:27,126
‎這是我們要去的

407
00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:29,793
‎特定座標，葛倫，我是說哈洛

408
00:19:30,376 --> 00:19:31,293
‎（扁平人）

409
00:19:31,959 --> 00:19:33,209
‎我們要幫忙芮根

410
00:19:33,293 --> 00:19:36,334
‎無線電壞了
‎引擎電腦中彈，我們能怎麼辦？

411
00:19:36,418 --> 00:19:39,168
‎我原本能做點事的，我的本份

412
00:19:39,251 --> 00:19:41,876
‎芮根的聲音現在還縈繞在我耳中

413
00:19:41,959 --> 00:19:44,251
‎因為她在對你的耳機講話，葛倫

414
00:19:44,334 --> 00:19:48,959
‎再說一次
‎我們以25節的速度往140度前進

415
00:19:49,043 --> 00:19:51,584
‎她為什麼要去那邊？
‎這只會讓他們航向公海

416
00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:52,751
‎不是

417
00:19:53,334 --> 00:19:54,668
‎清醒的安德烈？

418
00:19:54,751 --> 00:19:57,001
‎再猜一次，我找到1.77克的素傘蕈鹼

419
00:19:57,084 --> 00:19:57,959
‎藥效剛剛發作了

420
00:19:58,043 --> 00:19:59,959
‎那不是你該舔的

421
00:20:01,126 --> 00:20:02,334
‎芮根的航線

422
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:05,959
‎結合順風下的七點五節

423
00:20:06,043 --> 00:20:09,709
‎她要帶他們去中空地球的入口

424
00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:12,334
‎我想也是
‎她沒辦法帶哈洛去地球邊緣

425
00:20:12,418 --> 00:20:14,459
‎但她可以誤導他

426
00:20:14,543 --> 00:20:16,959
‎安德烈，這是你大腦吸毒的樣子

427
00:20:17,043 --> 00:20:18,126
‎繼續舔下去

428
00:20:21,334 --> 00:20:23,334
‎軍情六處收到各位的求救

429
00:20:23,418 --> 00:20:25,084
‎我們能幫上什麼忙？

430
00:20:25,168 --> 00:20:27,334
‎太好了，我需要衛星電話，立刻就要

431
00:20:29,251 --> 00:20:32,918
‎醒目公司總部，打開中空地球入口

432
00:20:33,001 --> 00:20:35,418
‎慢著，海水流進入口時

433
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:38,043
‎會形成漩渦，把芮根的船吸進去

434
00:20:38,126 --> 00:20:40,834
‎游去芮根那，游得像風一樣快

435
00:20:40,918 --> 00:20:42,501
‎遵命，長官

436
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:47,251
‎祝福你，你這浮力超強的怪物

437
00:21:08,376 --> 00:21:10,043
‎我的老天爺

438
00:21:12,834 --> 00:21:15,043
‎歡迎來到地球邊緣

439
00:21:15,126 --> 00:21:17,709
‎這是真的，真的是真的

440
00:21:17,793 --> 00:21:20,043
‎看哪，實徵證據

441
00:21:21,376 --> 00:21:24,293
‎我們為什麼會飄向那個大瀑布？

442
00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:27,709
‎完了

443
00:21:28,959 --> 00:21:32,918
‎好累，一定要用海洋之力

444
00:21:37,543 --> 00:21:39,043
‎（葛倫：海豹六隊往東南方前進）

445
00:21:39,126 --> 00:21:40,126
‎（海豹：遵命）

446
00:21:42,459 --> 00:21:43,459
‎抓緊了！

447
00:21:45,334 --> 00:21:47,959
‎親愛的芮根，該全速前進了

448
00:21:49,293 --> 00:21:51,751
‎對，繼續前進

449
00:21:51,834 --> 00:21:54,126
‎我以離婚律師的瑪莎拉蒂發誓

450
00:21:54,209 --> 00:21:56,834
‎我不會死在這個混蛋旁邊

451
00:21:56,918 --> 00:21:59,334
‎妳可以讓深淵散發幽閉的感覺

452
00:21:59,418 --> 00:22:00,834
‎你們可以閉嘴嗎？

453
00:22:04,459 --> 00:22:05,584
‎等等

454
00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:17,751
‎你成功到邊緣了，哈洛

455
00:22:17,834 --> 00:22:19,584
‎好棒，我們回家吧

456
00:22:19,668 --> 00:22:21,751
‎回家？不行，我想繼續前進

457
00:22:21,834 --> 00:22:23,876
‎可是不行啊，這是邊緣了

458
00:22:23,959 --> 00:22:25,418
‎對，在玩《小精靈》時

459
00:22:25,501 --> 00:22:28,626
‎你越過邊緣，就會回到地球的另一邊

460
00:22:28,709 --> 00:22:30,834
‎我終於可以看到澳洲了

461
00:22:30,918 --> 00:22:32,168
‎我的天啊

462
00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:35,209
‎哈洛，YouTube和喬羅根撒謊

463
00:22:35,293 --> 00:22:36,751
‎為了騙你的錢和注意力

464
00:22:36,834 --> 00:22:38,834
‎多數的陰謀論都是資本主義

465
00:22:38,918 --> 00:22:41,793
‎芮根，妳實現了我的人生夢想

466
00:22:41,876 --> 00:22:45,626
‎妳不用跟我一起去
‎但我要去南方大陸

467
00:22:46,501 --> 00:22:48,668
‎哈洛，等一下
‎你聽著，這不是地球邊緣

468
00:22:48,751 --> 00:22:50,584
‎這是去地球中心的入口

469
00:22:50,668 --> 00:22:52,793
‎記得舊地圖上的海怪嗎？

470
00:22:52,876 --> 00:22:53,834
‎牠們就在下面

471
00:22:54,459 --> 00:22:56,501
‎好，我像什麼，白痴嗎？

472
00:22:56,584 --> 00:23:00,251
‎你好，夥伴

473
00:23:01,334 --> 00:23:05,084
‎別難過，親愛的，他去了更好的地方

474
00:23:05,168 --> 00:23:06,959
‎對，妳…是啊，沒錯

475
00:23:07,043 --> 00:23:10,334
‎鼴鼠人只有122公分高
‎牠們會把他當國王看待的

476
00:23:10,418 --> 00:23:11,418
‎我們走吧

477
00:23:13,668 --> 00:23:16,584
‎盡量不要在回程吵架，好嗎？

478
00:23:16,668 --> 00:23:19,126
‎你們害我錯過班機
‎這是你們最起碼能做的

479
00:23:21,876 --> 00:23:23,001
‎對不起，芮根

480
00:23:23,084 --> 00:23:26,376
‎我們一直沒有好好說分手

481
00:23:26,459 --> 00:23:28,459
‎我再也不想當恨意滿點的前夫

482
00:23:28,543 --> 00:23:30,709
‎也許和好的時候到了

483
00:23:30,793 --> 00:23:31,626
‎什麼意思？

484
00:23:31,709 --> 00:23:34,459
‎我們有新娘、有證人

485
00:23:34,543 --> 00:23:36,834
‎現在的日落正好

486
00:23:36,918 --> 00:23:39,376
‎民子，妳願意再次嫁給我嗎？

487
00:23:40,126 --> 00:23:42,126
‎不要，葛倫

488
00:23:45,751 --> 00:23:46,626
‎等一下

489
00:23:48,543 --> 00:23:49,751
‎現在我們解決這件事了

490
00:23:49,834 --> 00:23:52,709
‎媽，妳願意接受妳成為妳的新娘嗎？

491
00:23:52,793 --> 00:23:55,334
‎互相擁有、扶持，不論生病與否

492
00:23:55,418 --> 00:23:59,043
‎只要妳們…都活著的時候？

493
00:23:59,793 --> 00:24:00,918
‎我願意

494
00:24:01,001 --> 00:24:03,334
‎藉由深層政府所賦予我的權力

495
00:24:03,418 --> 00:24:07,001
‎我現在宣布妳靈性上重生了

496
00:24:07,084 --> 00:24:09,168
‎妳可以親吻妳

497
00:24:26,126 --> 00:24:29,209
‎我聽說妳在處理海盜時的表現優異

498
00:24:29,293 --> 00:24:32,084
‎妳對任何其他類型的
‎海洋男子有興趣嗎？

499
00:24:32,168 --> 00:24:33,793
‎通常我會回答“絕對不要”

500
00:24:33,876 --> 00:24:39,043
‎但我受到我媽的啟發
‎這一次我要對自己說好

501
00:24:39,126 --> 00:24:40,668
‎你講話有腔調

502
00:24:44,084 --> 00:24:46,418
‎海岸防衛隊說
‎他們可以把你的遊艇拖回岸邊

503
00:24:46,501 --> 00:24:47,959
‎我有更好的計畫，你們看

504
00:24:48,709 --> 00:24:49,876
‎那是海怪嗎？

505
00:24:49,959 --> 00:24:50,959
‎沒錯

506
00:24:51,043 --> 00:24:53,793
‎我準備要收遊艇保單費用了

507
00:24:53,876 --> 00:24:55,876
‎有人看到傑夫貝佐斯嗎？

508
00:24:56,459 --> 00:24:59,084
‎打完了嗎？有人嗎？

509
00:25:01,126 --> 00:25:04,209
‎這就是我不讓員工上廁所的原因

510
00:25:09,793 --> 00:25:12,501
‎真不敢相信傑夫貝佐斯掛了

511
00:25:13,001 --> 00:25:15,668
‎而且就在他“最輝煌”的時候

512
00:25:56,084 --> 00:25:58,168
‎字幕翻譯：林佩孜