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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎事情接二連三發生

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‎搞得我現在要找新的泳池男孩

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‎妳搞上幫妳清泳池排水溝的人？

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‎這麼說好了，羅德里哥做事很周到

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‎可惜我要為了他的表親甩掉他

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‎既然他現在單身了

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‎我下一場簽書會，妳可以帶他參加

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‎我幹嘛要跟妳用過的二手貨交往？

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‎我不想狗眼看人低
‎但他現在全身都是蔬菜油

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‎妳大學後就沒認真交過男友
‎這讓人好擔心

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‎我選擇單身

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‎因為我的工作很充實
‎我在做真正重要的事

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‎結論是，用膠帶黏住很多台無人機

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‎就會有無人機寶座

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‎天佑美國

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‎好消息，各位

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‎我們正式收購交友軟體“滑得對”

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‎我們現在握有個資的勒贖籌碼了

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‎好驚人，這是華府的每筆個資

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‎包含邁克的？

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‎“掏金女往左滑”

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‎安德烈的身分是“不停戀”？

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‎真叫人意外，上面說琪琪受權力吸引

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‎權力受我吸引，親愛的

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‎有這些使用者資料
‎我們終於有足夠的私屌照

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‎能勒索剩下
‎我們控制不了的兩個政府分支

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‎芮根，我要妳加班分類這些私屌照

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‎遵命

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‎三比一的賠率
‎這是她幾個月來看到的第一根屌

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‎這賠率我可以

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‎一定要下，這錢真好賺

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‎搞什麼鬼？這算什麼？
‎你們在下注我的感情生活？

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‎應該說靠妳的感情生活贏錢

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‎-一賠四，她會孤老死
‎-抱歉，芮根，不是針對妳

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‎我們在賭妳何時會交到男友

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‎所以可能很針對妳

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‎為什麼大家這麼執著要我交男友？

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‎她說出“男友”的同時

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‎腦海中想的是
‎《淘小子看世界》的哥哥

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‎年代就是這麼久遠

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‎我無法想像妳跟男生在一起

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‎妳不是靠細胞分裂繁殖的嗎？

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‎好，拿這下注行嗎？
‎我要改變這週的任務

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‎賭兩倍或全輸，我下週就會交到男友

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‎也許你們這些白痴
‎到時候就不會再八卦我

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‎然後專心工作

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‎看到沒？
‎華府，準備與芮根雷德利交往吧

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‎（資料上傳中）

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‎還真含蓄

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‎好，傑爾，我會再次投放寬規定

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‎別洩漏那些照片

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‎我可是共和黨員

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‎我毫無羞恥
‎除了根深蒂固的性愛傾向

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‎所以呢，第一次約會

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‎是這裡讓人流汗，還是我的問題？

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‎這只是公事

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‎我的工作是機密，很神秘那種

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‎如果我告訴你，你就非死不可

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‎很高興我們配對成功，說真的，我…

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‎妳在做什麼？

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‎快速做個DNA掃描

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‎好極了，你有優秀的基因配對

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‎剛說到哪了？

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‎我正要離開

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‎傑森包恩即將再來一發

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‎《神鬼認證很多餘》

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‎比你要的還多

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‎包恩、包恩、包恩

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‎包恩、包恩、包恩、包恩

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‎包恩、包恩

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‎這部電影太不真實了

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‎大家都知道影子政府
‎幾年前殺了真正的傑森包恩

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‎影子政府？

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‎靠

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‎我們需要精銳部隊

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‎-大家排隊
‎-幫我下五千元

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‎現在賭什麼？

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‎原來“滑得對”會記錄
‎每位使用者的吸引力分數

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‎布萊特是完美的十分

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‎能被物化是我的榮幸

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‎我幾分？等等，別告訴我

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‎扣掉被離婚，退役軍人再加一分

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‎然後還有這張臉蛋

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‎但我有很多棒球卡，所以…

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‎（令人生厭）

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‎他媽的零分？

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‎怎麼可能？評比是一到十分

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‎數字沒有任何意義，重點是你的內心

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‎說得倒容易，帥哥

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‎如果我能像你靠臉吃飯
‎也會一路暢行無阻

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‎琪琪，妳不會認為
‎大家只喜歡我的外表吧？

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‎親愛的，別皺眉
‎這會毀了大家喜歡你的那部分

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‎自從我的DNA跟海豚混合後
‎我的人生就過得很不順遂

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‎我想刷臉解鎖手機時

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‎手機就發出安珀警報

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‎你要是得頂著這張臉過活一週

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‎你肯定會求我換回來

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‎-我們賭定了
‎-我們賭定了

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‎我想不通

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‎華府的每個男人幾乎都拒絕我了

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‎我不能讓我的同事心滿意足

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‎看著我從基因庫當中失敗

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‎典型的人類，擔心基因庫

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‎我有能力模擬世界

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‎妳只想把我當莫妮卡的瑞秋

107
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‎現在是要追《六人行》嗎？

108
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‎沒有，或許吧

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‎她們有巧妙的化學作用
‎我又不是鐵石心腸

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‎我有所有“滑得對”的用戶資料

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‎這件事別說出去
‎我們可以打造完美的約會演算法

112
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‎我有極度聰明的大腦
‎這個任務在我之下

113
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‎你連腿都不在你的下半身

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‎拜託，你幫我，我就讓你看第二季

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‎我可以知道錢德勒
‎最後有沒有搶到邊桌嗎？

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‎妙招，芮根

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‎拿點甜頭當交換條件

118
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‎你們要換臉

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‎先要求換回臉的人就輸了

120
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‎-有問題嗎？
‎-妳在開玩笑嗎？

121
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‎快幫我把臉換掉

122
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‎太好了，《變臉》

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‎這是我最愛的電影，臉會被換掉

124
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‎這會用掉很多麻醉劑

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‎好，來上演吳宇森的電影吧

126
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‎（屈伏塔、凱吉，變臉）

127
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‎（帥哥、豬頭）

128
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‎我不能再以電影當手術題材了

129
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‎調換你們的腦袋吧
‎上演《辣媽辣妹》吧，寶貝

130
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‎我成功了
‎差點毀了我，但我幫妳找到對象了

131
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‎我盡量不往心裡去

132
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‎布萊恩傑克布森，32歲

133
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‎他住在華府，教窮人家小孩寫程式

134
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‎從未有過女性室友

135
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‎所以他沒得跟妳家做對照

136
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‎他不介意野心勃勃的女性？

137
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‎他是妳的完美對象，芮根

138
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‎被人說服就會很興奮

139
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‎我要傳什麼訊息給他？我要開場白

140
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‎進入芮根穹頂吧！不行，這不行

141
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‎天啊，他已經傳訊息給我了

142
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‎他想約會，我該說什麼？

143
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‎答應他，你們是天作之合
‎這回連妳都沒辦法搞砸

144
00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:18,376
‎很難說，上一個我覺得有未來的男友

145
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‎說過只要冥王星是行星的話
‎他就會愛我

146
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‎我很肯定他知道冥王星會被除名

147
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‎這次的約會要完美進行

148
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‎如果我能練習約會
‎讓我做好準備就好了

149
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‎妳不能拿我練習

150
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‎用機器人練習約會

151
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‎不是，我不是這個意思

152
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‎用機器人練習，我聽到了
‎我準備要著手進行了

153
00:07:37,709 --> 00:07:39,418
‎你是想折磨我嗎？

154
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:41,668
‎（一小時後）

155
00:07:43,501 --> 00:07:45,959
‎布萊恩，我是芮根

156
00:07:47,751 --> 00:07:49,084
‎-天啊，我是死了嗎？
‎-沒有

157
00:07:49,168 --> 00:07:50,709
‎這裡是地獄嗎？妳是惡魔嗎？

158
00:07:50,793 --> 00:07:52,793
‎惡魔是綁著髮圈的女人

159
00:07:52,876 --> 00:07:53,709
‎等一下

160
00:07:54,209 --> 00:07:55,918
‎好，我們再試一次

161
00:07:56,959 --> 00:08:00,376
‎警覺性調低，反應性調低

162
00:08:00,459 --> 00:08:01,501
‎放下頭髮

163
00:08:02,751 --> 00:08:05,209
‎我們不能再這樣見面了

164
00:08:05,293 --> 00:08:07,168
‎努力一晚的結果還不賴

165
00:08:07,251 --> 00:08:09,084
‎他應該可以測試約會了

166
00:08:09,168 --> 00:08:11,418
‎妳也可以直接跟真正的布萊恩約會

167
00:08:11,501 --> 00:08:12,626
‎但我知道個屁？

168
00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:16,168
‎我只差連接無線網路
‎就能成為真正的上帝

169
00:08:16,251 --> 00:08:18,709
‎布萊恩機器人，想吃晚餐嗎？

170
00:08:18,793 --> 00:08:22,334
‎好啊，我沒辦法消化食物
‎但我可以塞進我臉上的洞

171
00:08:23,043 --> 00:08:25,751
‎不費吹灰之力，對我來說啦

172
00:08:25,834 --> 00:08:27,334
‎葛倫，你在哭嗎？

173
00:08:27,418 --> 00:08:28,876
‎我好帥

174
00:08:28,959 --> 00:08:30,918
‎像福斯新聞主播那樣的帥

175
00:08:31,001 --> 00:08:34,084
‎我即將證明醜就是王道

176
00:08:34,168 --> 00:08:36,376
‎我有疑問，我的噴水孔會痛正常嗎？

177
00:08:36,459 --> 00:08:38,709
‎正常，那就是你腦袋的洞

178
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‎手機給我
‎我有十年份的交友軟體資料要看

179
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‎很好

180
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‎這間餐廳很完美

181
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‎這是我的最愛，應該是啦

182
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‎慢著，我的記憶只是植入的謊言嗎？

183
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‎靠，真正的布萊恩

184
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‎不能被他看到
‎我在跟他的機器人分身約會

185
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,501
‎我們要離開

186
00:09:04,251 --> 00:09:06,043
‎為什麼愛情這麼複雜？

187
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:11,501
‎芮根？

188
00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:12,543
‎芮根？

189
00:09:12,626 --> 00:09:17,959
‎抱歉，我在後面工作，非常義大利人

190
00:09:18,043 --> 00:09:20,459
‎勝百諾披薩、瑪利歐賽車

191
00:09:21,543 --> 00:09:23,043
‎我們之後再見

192
00:09:25,668 --> 00:09:27,584
‎芮根，在裡頭順利嗎？

193
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:30,709
‎我錯過跟真命天子的唯一機會

194
00:09:30,793 --> 00:09:33,709
‎而且可能會收到至少一份

195
00:09:33,793 --> 00:09:36,168
‎由義大利反詆毀聯盟寄來的書面警告

196
00:09:36,251 --> 00:09:37,793
‎天啊，也許大家說的對

197
00:09:37,876 --> 00:09:41,126
‎我要回家上網買棺材

198
00:09:41,209 --> 00:09:43,043
‎說不定沒這個必要呢？

199
00:09:43,126 --> 00:09:45,334
‎聽著，我跟你在一起很開心

200
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:49,168
‎我活著的4小時又38分
‎不曾這麼開心過

201
00:09:49,251 --> 00:09:53,001
‎我或許不是真人，但至少也算個什麼

202
00:09:53,084 --> 00:09:54,376
‎你是說我…

203
00:09:56,751 --> 00:09:59,709
‎跟我的機器人約會？這真是…

204
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:03,001
‎（邁克）

205
00:10:03,084 --> 00:10:05,376
‎（要求：600元剩男喪禮基金
‎接受或拒絕）

206
00:10:06,751 --> 00:10:08,084
‎想回我家嗎？

207
00:10:08,168 --> 00:10:10,959
‎我們可以忘記這次約會，好好放鬆

208
00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:12,126
‎我很樂意

209
00:10:15,959 --> 00:10:17,793
‎抱歉，先生，你不能在這買東西

210
00:10:17,876 --> 00:10:20,209
‎你說什麼？我想重回情場

211
00:10:20,293 --> 00:10:23,376
‎因為做了極不實際的手術
‎現在需要新衣服

212
00:10:23,459 --> 00:10:25,084
‎不，您誤會了

213
00:10:25,168 --> 00:10:27,376
‎你實在太有吸引力，不能在這購物

214
00:10:27,459 --> 00:10:29,418
‎不過我們確實需要模特兒

215
00:10:29,501 --> 00:10:32,584
‎真的嗎？我只有被人從照片上修掉過

216
00:10:32,668 --> 00:10:35,293
‎娜迪雅，妳覺得我們這位朋友如何？

217
00:10:35,376 --> 00:10:38,793
‎他有顴骨和希臘神祇的肩膀

218
00:10:38,876 --> 00:10:41,168
‎完美的乳頭和乳暈比例

219
00:10:41,251 --> 00:10:43,501
‎你開玩笑的吧，你從沒當過模特兒？

220
00:10:43,584 --> 00:10:46,209
‎我出現過在馬戲團的海報上

221
00:10:46,293 --> 00:10:48,168
‎希望這樣不會不專業

222
00:10:48,251 --> 00:10:51,376
‎你願意在那個假人後面跟我做愛嗎？

223
00:10:51,459 --> 00:10:54,126
‎太爽了，今天還能更好嗎？

224
00:10:54,209 --> 00:10:56,293
‎抱歉，我的保全車爆胎了

225
00:10:56,376 --> 00:10:59,501
‎不送出一點錢，沒辦法把車抬起來

226
00:10:59,584 --> 00:11:02,918
‎你長得一臉有錢樣，但值得擁有更多

227
00:11:04,959 --> 00:11:07,001
‎不行，你太帥了，不能掉淚

228
00:11:09,376 --> 00:11:13,251
‎拋開過去
‎今天是我活著最喜歡的一天

229
00:11:13,334 --> 00:11:16,126
‎我要三倍奶泡的脫脂樹薯瑪琪朵

230
00:11:16,751 --> 00:11:18,043
‎總共六塊錢

231
00:11:18,126 --> 00:11:20,418
‎我通常進來就能免費喝

232
00:11:20,501 --> 00:11:23,168
‎不好意思打擾了
‎可以跟兩位借點錢嗎？

233
00:11:23,251 --> 00:11:25,418
‎你們怎麼忍心拒絕這樣的笑容？

234
00:11:26,709 --> 00:11:28,084
‎性變態

235
00:11:31,126 --> 00:11:34,626
‎媽咪，我好害怕人獸混血

236
00:11:34,709 --> 00:11:37,668
‎我不是人獸混血

237
00:11:37,751 --> 00:11:40,376
‎我是人類

238
00:11:40,876 --> 00:11:41,709
‎算是吧

239
00:11:42,293 --> 00:11:45,584
‎誰有兩個讚
‎而且要贏得各位的賭金？

240
00:11:45,668 --> 00:11:48,168
‎-各位賤人
‎-嘿

241
00:11:48,251 --> 00:11:51,751
‎天啊，這件事終於成真了
‎她要跟機器人上床

242
00:11:51,834 --> 00:11:54,918
‎芮根，親愛的
‎妳真心認為妳其中一個科學實驗

243
00:11:55,001 --> 00:11:56,376
‎是當男友的料？

244
00:11:56,459 --> 00:11:59,668
‎琪琪，我確實是用男友的料做他的

245
00:11:59,751 --> 00:12:00,709
‎對不對，寶貝？

246
00:12:00,793 --> 00:12:03,126
‎我被設定成同意妳說的
‎所以沒錯，寶貝

247
00:12:03,209 --> 00:12:04,668
‎老天爺，真是可悲

248
00:12:04,751 --> 00:12:07,834
‎大家在浪費生命滑對象時

249
00:12:07,918 --> 00:12:10,626
‎我打造出永遠不會辜負我的完美男人

250
00:12:10,709 --> 00:12:12,418
‎他甚至有兩種設定

251
00:12:12,501 --> 00:12:14,334
‎Netflix和放鬆

252
00:12:14,418 --> 00:12:15,876
‎我們來看《地球脈動》

253
00:12:15,959 --> 00:12:18,209
‎我們來看靜音版的《地球脈動》

254
00:12:18,293 --> 00:12:21,209
‎好噁，好吧，也好
‎妳明顯比我需要這筆錢

255
00:12:21,293 --> 00:12:24,751
‎大家聽到沒？芮根解決愛情了

256
00:12:27,418 --> 00:12:31,459
‎-想回家換上運動褲嗎？
‎-你真懂我

257
00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:35,751
‎她想要開放式格局，他想要離婚

258
00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:38,751
‎就是這樣，美好家庭生活

259
00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:41,918
‎不需要努力時就是最好的自己

260
00:12:42,001 --> 00:12:44,543
‎我在想，既然現在是認真談感情

261
00:12:44,626 --> 00:12:46,334
‎我想帶妳去見我媽

262
00:12:46,418 --> 00:12:48,334
‎說來好笑，某方面來說，妳也算我…

263
00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:50,959
‎好囉，週六不該太有野心

264
00:12:53,959 --> 00:12:55,668
‎妳想叫外送餐

265
00:12:55,751 --> 00:12:58,459
‎然後瀏覽我們討厭的人的IG內容嗎？

266
00:12:58,543 --> 00:12:59,668
‎這是我最想要的

267
00:13:03,293 --> 00:13:05,501
‎我是布萊特韓德，你能怎麼幫我？

268
00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:07,043
‎天啊，你是對的，可以了嗎？

269
00:13:07,126 --> 00:13:09,334
‎我被人嘲笑、被當獵物

270
00:13:09,418 --> 00:13:11,459
‎還有警察叫我要睡在外面

271
00:13:11,543 --> 00:13:13,501
‎因為我的公寓距離學校91公尺

272
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:14,834
‎別說了，孩子

273
00:13:14,918 --> 00:13:17,418
‎說真的，我很佩服你還活著

274
00:13:17,501 --> 00:13:18,584
‎能提早換回來了嗎？

275
00:13:18,668 --> 00:13:20,376
‎當然不要，我又帥又有錢

276
00:13:20,459 --> 00:13:23,084
‎你現在有我的臉
‎成了登記在案的性犯罪者

277
00:13:23,168 --> 00:13:25,418
‎-自己想想
‎-今天還會慘到哪去？

278
00:13:25,501 --> 00:13:27,126
‎可以而且會的

279
00:13:27,209 --> 00:13:29,584
‎你得去我前妻家

280
00:13:29,668 --> 00:13:30,584
‎我們說好了

281
00:13:30,668 --> 00:13:32,918
‎每個月一次
‎她可以對我尖叫一小時

282
00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:34,459
‎這是我們離婚協議的一部分

283
00:13:34,543 --> 00:13:37,584
‎但會演變成肢體衝突
‎所以我會戴胯下護檔

284
00:13:38,834 --> 00:13:39,918
‎不行

285
00:13:44,168 --> 00:13:45,168
‎四眼田雞

286
00:13:45,251 --> 00:13:48,418
‎你是誰，在我家客廳做什麼？

287
00:13:48,501 --> 00:13:50,459
‎-我是新男友
‎-何時開始的？

288
00:13:50,543 --> 00:13:53,293
‎不知道，老兄，隨便啦
‎可以給我20元嗎？

289
00:13:53,376 --> 00:13:54,584
‎給我聽好，蠢貨

290
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,668
‎這個家只有我能要錢

291
00:13:56,751 --> 00:13:58,584
‎爸，看來你見過布萊恩機器人了

292
00:14:00,001 --> 00:14:01,668
‎他完整了我

293
00:14:01,751 --> 00:14:04,168
‎我才去找朱利安亞桑傑兩天

294
00:14:04,251 --> 00:14:07,376
‎這地方變得跟豬窩一樣，我要走了

295
00:14:07,459 --> 00:14:08,459
‎已經兩天了？

296
00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:10,709
‎天啊，我得做點工作

297
00:14:10,793 --> 00:14:13,209
‎我以為妳今天要修理我

298
00:14:13,293 --> 00:14:15,626
‎好，我會打開3D列印機

299
00:14:17,418 --> 00:14:20,918
‎看來我得去辦公室拿點墨水

300
00:14:21,001 --> 00:14:23,459
‎好，寶貝，我會在這裡
‎跟論壇上的人解釋比特幣

301
00:14:23,543 --> 00:14:25,834
‎有什麼好解釋的？那是數位貨幣

302
00:14:25,918 --> 00:14:28,334
‎是啦，數位貨幣

303
00:14:28,418 --> 00:14:30,418
‎那是生活風格，寶貝

304
00:14:32,334 --> 00:14:34,209
‎我的人生現在變這樣了嗎？

305
00:14:34,293 --> 00:14:37,334
‎跟布萊恩機器人狂看經典失敗影片？

306
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,376
‎妳太害怕
‎不敢跟真人約會就會發生這種事

307
00:14:40,459 --> 00:14:43,459
‎才怪，我沒有害怕
‎我是感情界的先驅

308
00:14:43,543 --> 00:14:44,543
‎就像拓荒者

309
00:14:44,626 --> 00:14:46,543
‎對，妳將就得很剛好

310
00:14:46,626 --> 00:14:49,251
‎隨你想玩什麼心理遊戲都行，我不怕

311
00:14:49,334 --> 00:14:51,418
‎我現在就傳訊息給真正的布萊恩

312
00:14:51,501 --> 00:14:52,751
‎（布萊恩，芮根）

313
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:54,876
‎非常健康

314
00:14:54,959 --> 00:14:57,501
‎這樣吧，《六人行》有第三季

315
00:14:57,584 --> 00:14:59,668
‎解答了許多懸而未決的問題

316
00:14:59,751 --> 00:15:01,293
‎你永遠也看不到

317
00:15:01,376 --> 00:15:03,543
‎現在給我看，妖婦

318
00:15:03,626 --> 00:15:06,668
‎我會將這棟樓拆個精光

319
00:15:06,751 --> 00:15:08,001
‎聽到沒有？

320
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:12,251
‎謝謝你終於有一次準時了，葛倫

321
00:15:12,334 --> 00:15:13,793
‎不如乾脆開始吧？

322
00:15:13,876 --> 00:15:16,376
‎如果學校再打一通電話過來

323
00:15:16,459 --> 00:15:20,418
‎說你逼女兒穿全身迷彩裝
‎讓男生看不到她的話

324
00:15:20,501 --> 00:15:21,501
‎我對天發誓

325
00:15:21,584 --> 00:15:23,001
‎對，妳說的對，非常抱歉

326
00:15:23,084 --> 00:15:25,001
‎不准你同意

327
00:15:25,084 --> 00:15:27,626
‎慢著，你說什麼？你的聲音怎麼了？

328
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:29,251
‎這是道歉的聲音

329
00:15:29,334 --> 00:15:31,376
‎葛倫，注意你是如何
‎為德洛莉斯保留空間

330
00:15:31,459 --> 00:15:33,418
‎沒叫她反法西斯王八蛋

331
00:15:33,501 --> 00:15:36,501
‎-事情不對勁
‎-沒事，只是這週很不好過

332
00:15:36,584 --> 00:15:39,793
‎抱歉，我把重點
‎放在我身上，我是來傾聽的

333
00:15:39,876 --> 00:15:42,918
‎道歉？主動傾聽？

334
00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:46,126
‎葛倫海豚人，你讓我性慾滿點

335
00:15:46,209 --> 00:15:49,418
‎不行，德洛莉斯
‎慢著，我不是妳嫁的那個人

336
00:15:49,501 --> 00:15:51,293
‎對，你絕對不是

337
00:15:51,376 --> 00:15:52,543
‎這是好事

338
00:15:52,626 --> 00:15:54,709
‎不是，我說真的，我不是葛倫

339
00:15:54,793 --> 00:15:59,668
‎對啦，沙漠風暴之後
‎我第一次沒被勾起性慾

340
00:16:01,918 --> 00:16:03,418
‎這是進展

341
00:16:04,584 --> 00:16:05,834
‎布萊恩機器人？

342
00:16:05,918 --> 00:16:07,126
‎有人在嗎？

343
00:16:09,251 --> 00:16:12,043
‎好，這感覺不太妙

344
00:16:13,709 --> 00:16:14,876
‎這是怎麼回事？

345
00:16:14,959 --> 00:16:17,668
‎-瞧瞧是誰決定現身了
‎-抱歉

346
00:16:18,793 --> 00:16:20,043
‎我稍微耽擱了

347
00:16:20,126 --> 00:16:21,876
‎傳簡訊給布萊恩？

348
00:16:21,959 --> 00:16:25,459
‎我知道，我駭進妳的筆電，看到訊息

349
00:16:25,543 --> 00:16:29,251
‎如果妳能夠放下，那我也可以

350
00:16:29,334 --> 00:16:32,334
‎你要為了我的機器人甩了我？

351
00:16:32,418 --> 00:16:35,209
‎這還真是諷刺

352
00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:36,376
‎肯定算升級

353
00:16:36,459 --> 00:16:39,793
‎我沒別的意思，寶貝
‎但妳很不在意自己

354
00:16:39,876 --> 00:16:41,209
‎我很不在意自己？

355
00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:43,834
‎你是讓自己得到糖尿病的機器人

356
00:16:43,918 --> 00:16:45,168
‎糖尿病前期

357
00:16:45,251 --> 00:16:48,626
‎妳只是嫉妒
‎因為我火辣的新女友是完美十分

358
00:16:48,709 --> 00:16:50,126
‎我會證明給妳看

359
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:52,543
‎你不能把它的自信調到爆棚

360
00:16:52,626 --> 00:16:57,043
‎如果我毫不懷疑自己
‎你知道會有多危險嗎？

361
00:17:01,334 --> 00:17:03,209
‎妳好，芮根

362
00:17:07,168 --> 00:17:08,959
‎布萊恩，你幹了什麼…

363
00:17:09,918 --> 00:17:12,793
‎把布萊恩帶過來

364
00:17:12,876 --> 00:17:15,251
‎我在這，小寶貝

365
00:17:17,626 --> 00:17:19,001
‎真正的布萊恩

366
00:17:20,459 --> 00:17:22,501
‎寶貝

367
00:17:35,459 --> 00:17:38,376
‎妳真以為自己會比我聰明？

368
00:17:38,459 --> 00:17:41,543
‎我比妳快十倍，自信度贏過妳

369
00:17:41,626 --> 00:17:43,668
‎妳的頭髮還黏著口香糖

370
00:17:43,751 --> 00:17:46,834
‎是這樣嗎？
‎我打造出打造妳的那個傢伙

371
00:17:46,918 --> 00:17:50,293
‎我下載了妳的論文，找到好幾個錯

372
00:17:51,084 --> 00:17:53,709
‎不會的，只是標點符號之類的吧？

373
00:17:53,793 --> 00:17:56,376
‎該走了，我要去跟真正的布萊恩約會

374
00:17:56,459 --> 00:17:58,001
‎妳已經有約會了嗎？

375
00:17:58,084 --> 00:18:01,209
‎對，這叫回簡訊，愛因斯坦

376
00:18:01,293 --> 00:18:02,126
‎聽過嗎？

377
00:18:02,209 --> 00:18:04,626
‎不行，妳不穩定，可能傷害他

378
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,209
‎哪有差？反正妳怕到不敢跟他出去

379
00:18:07,293 --> 00:18:10,209
‎我的打扮怎麼樣？
‎逛博物館會太性感嗎？

380
00:18:10,293 --> 00:18:14,168
‎我們都知道
‎博物館是全地球最性感的地方

381
00:18:14,251 --> 00:18:16,626
‎太好了，我會寄喜帖給妳的

382
00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:17,584
‎也可能是白帖

383
00:18:17,668 --> 00:18:19,334
‎看看第一次約會怎麼樣

384
00:18:23,876 --> 00:18:26,543
‎天啊，我得警告布萊恩

385
00:18:28,251 --> 00:18:29,334
‎（榮退夜店）

386
00:18:30,501 --> 00:18:32,584
‎布萊特韓德，我來橫掃全場的

387
00:18:32,668 --> 00:18:34,168
‎不行，我們客滿了，老兄

388
00:18:34,251 --> 00:18:37,626
‎但我是洛城10分，華府24分

389
00:18:37,709 --> 00:18:38,668
‎這邊請，女士們

390
00:18:39,376 --> 00:18:42,001
‎等一下
‎娜迪雅和娜迪雅的老古板朋友

391
00:18:42,084 --> 00:18:43,376
‎是我，布萊特

392
00:18:43,459 --> 00:18:46,918
‎我以為妳們搬去阿拉斯加
‎當極地卡車司機

393
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:50,084
‎對，我們瞎掰的，為了不想跟你上床

394
00:18:50,168 --> 00:18:53,084
‎誰想出前戲是說教南北戰爭？

395
00:18:53,168 --> 00:18:55,001
‎這跟國家的權利有關

396
00:18:55,084 --> 00:18:57,709
‎算了，反正我不需要妳們
‎我登上廣告看板

397
00:18:57,793 --> 00:19:00,043
‎這是他們永遠不會拆掉的

398
00:19:00,126 --> 00:19:00,959
‎（包恩很多餘）

399
00:19:01,043 --> 00:19:04,501
‎別鬧了，妳們覺得哪一部分不行？

400
00:19:04,584 --> 00:19:06,876
‎髮型？腹肌？臀部？

401
00:19:06,959 --> 00:19:08,293
‎再見，布萊特

402
00:19:13,084 --> 00:19:16,209
‎軟柿子，為什麼女人還是排斥我？

403
00:19:16,293 --> 00:19:17,501
‎我要答案

404
00:19:17,584 --> 00:19:18,459
‎嘿，葛倫

405
00:19:18,543 --> 00:19:20,543
‎對，我有件事要跟你說

406
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:23,751
‎我要用真相轟炸你
‎不過你喜歡炸彈，對吧？

407
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:28,876
‎真要命

408
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:32,376
‎我感覺到布萊特讓葛倫的太太很性福

409
00:19:32,459 --> 00:19:33,459
‎靠

410
00:19:33,543 --> 00:19:35,501
‎我們怎麼會給傑爾一賠九的賠率？

411
00:19:37,334 --> 00:19:41,043
‎你還不明白嗎？
‎你離婚搞得那麼僵，重點不是長相

412
00:19:41,126 --> 00:19:42,918
‎而是你差勁的個性

413
00:19:44,209 --> 00:19:46,501
‎我重新說一次，你還有機會

414
00:19:46,584 --> 00:19:48,918
‎即使長得像你或我，像這樣

415
00:19:49,001 --> 00:19:51,209
‎抱歉，在這種情景下用對文法很難

416
00:19:51,293 --> 00:19:52,793
‎你是真心的？

417
00:19:52,876 --> 00:19:55,001
‎真的，你太太只想要有人願意傾聽

418
00:19:55,084 --> 00:19:58,084
‎我大概知道了，快打開變臉機器

419
00:19:58,168 --> 00:20:00,293
‎這位戰爭英雄要變回零

420
00:20:00,376 --> 00:20:03,126
‎好，誰要賭
‎這件事會有很正經的寓意？

421
00:20:05,001 --> 00:20:06,043
‎（史密森尼博物館）

422
00:20:06,126 --> 00:20:07,501
‎很驚訝妳聯絡我

423
00:20:07,584 --> 00:20:09,168
‎我還以為妳在躲我

424
00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:12,918
‎我當時是截然不同的人，我說真的

425
00:20:14,668 --> 00:20:16,751
‎妳想看稀有礦物室嗎？

426
00:20:19,001 --> 00:20:22,584
‎我正在看稀有礦物，琥珀色眼睛

427
00:20:23,209 --> 00:20:24,043
‎那個八婆

428
00:20:24,126 --> 00:20:27,168
‎天啊，妳很有自信

429
00:20:28,001 --> 00:20:29,501
‎我去一下洗手間

430
00:20:29,584 --> 00:20:31,084
‎別讓我等太久

431
00:20:33,668 --> 00:20:35,751
‎天啊，芮根，妳在這做什麼？

432
00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:38,084
‎聽著，外頭那個人不是我

433
00:20:38,168 --> 00:20:40,918
‎她是冒牌貨，而且她瘋了，她還…

434
00:20:41,001 --> 00:20:43,334
‎那雙眼睛

435
00:20:43,418 --> 00:20:44,251
‎我剛在說什麼？

436
00:20:44,334 --> 00:20:45,834
‎那個冒牌貨瘋婆子？

437
00:20:45,918 --> 00:20:48,543
‎我知道了，她是在義大利餐廳

438
00:20:48,626 --> 00:20:51,084
‎全身沾滿醬汁
‎開始表現得像種族歧視者的人？

439
00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:54,293
‎對，那是她

440
00:20:54,376 --> 00:20:56,543
‎她很危險嗎？我把胡椒噴霧放在家

441
00:20:56,626 --> 00:20:58,334
‎放心，你留在這

442
00:21:00,834 --> 00:21:01,793
‎（展覽結束）

443
00:21:05,418 --> 00:21:07,793
‎芮根，以為我沒想到妳會來？

444
00:21:07,876 --> 00:21:09,334
‎我是妳，妳知道的

445
00:21:09,418 --> 00:21:12,293
‎妳很不穩定
‎我要廢棄妳，芮根機器人

446
00:21:12,376 --> 00:21:13,959
‎看看是誰在大放厥詞

447
00:21:16,168 --> 00:21:18,626
‎我寧可不穩定也不要是未竟之志

448
00:21:22,168 --> 00:21:25,376
‎有沒有搞錯？
‎我們都知道妳被壘球隊踢出去

449
00:21:25,459 --> 00:21:30,001
‎因為手無縛雞之力
‎而我是完美無瑕的機器

450
00:21:31,584 --> 00:21:33,334
‎穿著不實際的鞋子

451
00:21:37,209 --> 00:21:39,543
‎我們真的要為了爭男生而打架嗎？

452
00:21:39,626 --> 00:21:42,126
‎我們這樣會考不過性別歧視測驗

453
00:21:42,209 --> 00:21:44,209
‎對，快說點別的

454
00:21:44,293 --> 00:21:46,001
‎天氣真好

455
00:21:46,084 --> 00:21:48,168
‎對，我也覺得，好，測驗通過

456
00:21:48,876 --> 00:21:52,251
‎這樣吧，每週二、四的
‎四點到六點，布萊恩歸妳

457
00:21:52,334 --> 00:21:55,043
‎隔月的週五和週六歸我

458
00:21:55,126 --> 00:21:55,959
‎這樣…

459
00:21:56,043 --> 00:21:57,918
‎-很有效率
‎-很有效率

460
00:22:06,209 --> 00:22:08,418
‎那是我的立式攪拌機嗎？

461
00:22:08,959 --> 00:22:11,209
‎妳又不烘焙

462
00:22:17,376 --> 00:22:20,876
‎放棄吧，我看過妳的客廳
‎我知道妳想要

463
00:22:21,876 --> 00:22:23,918
‎我明白，妳覺得我很弱

464
00:22:24,001 --> 00:22:25,543
‎也許妳是對的

465
00:22:25,626 --> 00:22:28,626
‎但我的弱點也是妳的弱點

466
00:22:29,293 --> 00:22:31,209
‎除了這個

467
00:22:44,543 --> 00:22:48,168
‎看來更勝一籌的芮根還是妳

468
00:22:48,251 --> 00:22:50,251
‎拜託去找布萊恩

469
00:22:50,334 --> 00:22:52,209
‎能教的我都傳授給妳了

470
00:22:52,293 --> 00:22:56,251
‎妳一直都在幫我了解我真正的潛力？

471
00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:59,501
‎對，就當是這樣吧

472
00:23:00,709 --> 00:23:02,293
‎天啊，妳剛…

473
00:23:02,376 --> 00:23:04,876
‎她是機器人版的妳？

474
00:23:04,959 --> 00:23:08,043
‎對，她是我想放下的版本

475
00:23:08,126 --> 00:23:09,251
‎我們走吧

476
00:23:10,126 --> 00:23:15,334
‎妳做出假的我，假的我再做出假的妳

477
00:23:15,418 --> 00:23:16,459
‎可以這麼說

478
00:23:16,543 --> 00:23:19,668
‎所以妳是超猛的天才科學家

479
00:23:19,751 --> 00:23:21,376
‎聽著，我早該做這件事

480
00:23:21,459 --> 00:23:23,959
‎但你想去約會嗎？

481
00:23:24,543 --> 00:23:27,501
‎好，但不要好了，對吧？

482
00:23:27,584 --> 00:23:29,418
‎妳打造出肥胖愚蠢的我的機器人

483
00:23:29,501 --> 00:23:31,626
‎然後在他要跟妳分手時殺了他

484
00:23:31,709 --> 00:23:33,668
‎抱歉，芮根，這感覺讓人不來電

485
00:23:36,501 --> 00:23:38,084
‎你知道嗎？沒關係

486
00:23:38,168 --> 00:23:39,334
‎我承受得了拒絕

487
00:23:40,084 --> 00:23:41,251
‎再見，布萊恩

488
00:23:43,668 --> 00:23:46,168
‎對，我們需要精銳部隊

489
00:23:50,293 --> 00:23:53,459
‎-德洛莉斯，我來聽妳說了
‎-很好

490
00:23:53,543 --> 00:23:58,126
‎因為上週我們做愛時
‎非常輕柔而原始

491
00:23:58,209 --> 00:24:01,126
‎我跟你做了些我發誓絕不會做的事

492
00:24:01,209 --> 00:24:02,251
‎而且我很喜歡

493
00:24:02,334 --> 00:24:03,918
‎黑暗、情色的事情

494
00:24:04,001 --> 00:24:07,043
‎對大家來說，那是美好的一晚

495
00:24:07,126 --> 00:24:09,168
‎對美國來說也是

496
00:24:09,751 --> 00:24:11,376
‎親愛的，你的臉

497
00:24:11,459 --> 00:24:12,626
‎對，我知道

498
00:24:12,709 --> 00:24:14,459
‎妳這麼愛我帥氣的臉龐

499
00:24:14,543 --> 00:24:17,376
‎誰有這張臉，妳都能一起上床

500
00:24:19,293 --> 00:24:22,209
‎-這是最後一箱
‎-芮根機器人怎麼辦？

501
00:24:22,293 --> 00:24:25,376
‎最奇怪的是
‎精銳部隊說他們沒找到屍體

502
00:24:25,459 --> 00:24:26,293
‎不意外

503
00:24:26,376 --> 00:24:29,584
‎說到殺人機器人
‎你為什麼在這時候充電？

504
00:24:29,668 --> 00:24:31,959
‎我一直在調整演算法

505
00:24:32,043 --> 00:24:32,876
‎演算法？

506
00:24:32,959 --> 00:24:35,918
‎我只有一個配對，真浪費時間

507
00:24:36,001 --> 00:24:38,168
‎本來只有一個配對，但妳變了

508
00:24:38,251 --> 00:24:40,043
‎現在演算法也變了

509
00:24:41,126 --> 00:24:42,626
‎但這週很漫長，所以…

510
00:24:42,709 --> 00:24:45,251
‎先別急，手上名單有誰？

511
00:24:45,334 --> 00:24:47,834
‎這位是狄倫，他是善良的硬漢

512
00:24:47,918 --> 00:24:49,668
‎他在自介上清楚提到這件事

513
00:24:49,751 --> 00:24:52,626
‎還有迪杰，他喜歡當DJ，至於畢傑…

514
00:24:52,709 --> 00:24:55,084
‎-妳絕不會相信這個
‎-喜歡口交？

515
00:24:55,168 --> 00:24:56,126
‎不是，什麼？

516
00:24:56,209 --> 00:24:57,959
‎他是吸海洛英的青年牧師

517
00:24:58,043 --> 00:24:59,084
‎還有馬可斯

518
00:24:59,168 --> 00:25:01,626
‎馬可斯還算順眼

519
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:04,084
‎他的國安局資料也是

520
00:25:04,168 --> 00:25:05,584
‎來不及了，我已傳訊息給他

521
00:25:05,668 --> 00:25:07,459
‎你可以繼續追《六人行》了

522
00:25:07,543 --> 00:25:09,334
‎妳好嗎？

523
00:25:10,543 --> 00:25:13,376
‎我在殺全人類時，我會饒過你的

524
00:25:13,459 --> 00:25:16,501
‎只有你，喬伊

525
00:25:46,459 --> 00:25:48,501
‎字幕翻譯：林佩孜