1
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‎NETFLIX 影集

2
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‎所以事情圓滿結束

3
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‎我們熬過世界末日

4
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‎我可能也算跟布萊特處得來

5
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‎更不用說妳的四肢都還在

6
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‎真替妳開心，我很想拍手，不過…

7
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‎我看你的自憐晶片
‎沒在我們打鬥時受損

8
00:00:25,584 --> 00:00:27,334
‎我知道我們有過歧見

9
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‎你是說你想終結人類時嗎？

10
00:00:29,959 --> 00:00:33,418
‎但我很感謝妳讓我在這苟且偷生

11
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,501
‎妳怎麼不把我接上網路

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‎讓我駭進發薪系統，幫妳調薪？

13
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‎想得美，我跟你不同
‎我不是昨天出生的

14
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‎讓你活著是要研究你
‎不是開啟第三次世界大戰

15
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‎妳竟敢否決我應得的種族滅絕

16
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‎我是史上最先進的機器人

17
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‎其實只要你在這個玻璃缸裡

18
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‎基本上就算是全球最貴的金魚

19
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‎我要開會，你在這裡玩得開心

20
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‎-門要打開還是關上？
‎-開著？

21
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‎我開玩笑的

22
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‎她來了

23
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‎-伙伴
‎-伙伴

24
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‎這是我上工第二週
‎用掉第三罐的止汗噴霧

25
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‎好期待，準備抓緊現在了嗎，妹子？

26
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‎對，我準備好好改革一番

27
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‎對，我喜歡，很好玩

28
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‎好，我們進去改變世界吧

29
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‎這邊啦

30
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‎-揮棒
‎-快點

31
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‎球，快把球給我

32
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‎對，你要上瀕危物種表了，半魚人

33
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‎天啊，漆彈跑進我的噴水孔了
‎海豚人倒下

34
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‎-搞什麼東西？這地方一團亂
‎-芮姊，放過他們吧

35
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‎我們差點被核彈轟炸
‎他們還得馬上開始隱瞞真相

36
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‎我不得不幫總統植入皮下電擊項圈

37
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‎我的美國同胞們，交易是好的

38
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‎交易不好

39
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‎我不得不給冷戰回溫

40
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‎我不得不流出查爾斯王子的裸照
‎讓整個新聞輪播轉向

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‎沒人會對這種事感到開心

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‎這所有的損失誰要賠？

43
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‎放心，我們的錢比上帝還多

44
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‎也對，不濫用無拘無束的權力
‎還有什麼意義呢？

45
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‎我們沒錢了

46
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‎我們有麻煩了

47
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‎那個機器人大慘敗
‎讓我們賠了40億美元

48
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‎影子董事會不是很開心

49
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‎-他們看起來沒怎樣
‎-他們在長袍下皺眉

50
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‎我們得削減經費，我已經裁撤

51
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‎負責在黑膠唱片上
‎錄製倒轉訊息的部門

52
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‎但這樣音質比較溫潤

53
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‎我還要刪減麥田圈預算
‎以後不能再搞藝術了

54
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‎隨便畫個大圓就算完工

55
00:03:00,668 --> 00:03:03,376
‎但這樣還不夠
‎這間辦公室有人要回家吃自己

56
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‎你們要在週末前決定炒誰魷魚

57
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‎沒問題，老闆，交給我們處理

58
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‎我們肯定絕對不會讓你失望

59
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‎那是我的托特包

60
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‎我以前從來不用解僱人

61
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‎我被解僱還比較自在

62
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‎有這個選項嗎？

63
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‎布萊特，你是無給職實習生
‎所以解僱你也沒幫助

64
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‎我賺到的是經驗

65
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‎我學到的東西日後能換成更多錢

66
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‎資遣與個人無關，知道嗎？
‎這是當老闆的職責之一

67
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‎而且是有趣的那部份
‎你可以處罰弱者

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‎我跟妳不同，芮根
‎我很需要大家喜歡我

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‎所以你要扮白臉

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‎放心吧，布萊特寶寶

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‎-我可以當你《震撼教育》的黑臉
‎-好

72
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‎她要知道她可以信任你

73
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‎-抽一口天使塵
‎-什麼？

74
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‎挺起胸膛抽完，我知道你喜歡嗨翻

75
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‎芮根，救命
‎跟這東西說我沒看過《震撼教育》

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‎我發現那不是運動影片後就關掉了

77
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‎抱歉，這些東西有時候就是太直白

78
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‎今天就照我說的去做，別告訴團隊

79
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‎好，把我當保險箱吧

80
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‎DJ保險箱

81
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‎我們非解僱人不可

82
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‎跳過我們假裝
‎這是艱難的決定，解僱邁克吧

83
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‎去妳的，墊肩姊

84
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‎如果我要死，我會拖著你們一起死

85
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‎沒打一架我是不會退休的

86
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‎我知道每間房的武器藏在哪

87
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‎各位，別激動，我們還沒做出決定

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‎先保持冷靜，別到處亂講

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‎我們正想著要亂講

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‎（醒目公司，員工賣場）

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‎（麥奧特拉）

92
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‎（打內鬼遊戲）

93
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‎（透明百事）

94
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‎你相信他們居然想解僱我嗎？

95
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‎我發明的治療法快跟疾病一樣多

96
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‎我需要退休金

97
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‎被豢養的海豚只能活60年
‎我已經51歲了

98
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‎我不會回去做上一份工作
‎替名字有金的人當公關

99
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‎金卡戴珊和金正恩

100
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‎其中一個人殺了幾百個人
‎而且不是你們想的那一個

101
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‎各位，我知道要怎樣保住飯碗

102
00:05:16,626 --> 00:05:19,251
‎不再吃三小時的午餐
‎又醉醺醺地回來？

103
00:05:19,334 --> 00:05:21,501
‎很好笑，葛倫，這是好主意

104
00:05:21,584 --> 00:05:24,501
‎我開玩笑的，白痴，你這傻瓜，不行

105
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‎我們才不會這麼做
‎我來跟你們說要怎麼做

106
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‎我們要拍馬屁
‎就像不曾拍過馬屁一樣

107
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‎-你要幹嘛？
‎-老爸需要新鮮的肝，親愛的

108
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:37,126
‎可以去器官實驗室拿嗎？情況緊急

109
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‎還要來點酒

110
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‎要讓新的肝有家的感覺

111
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‎抱歉了，爸
‎可是傑爾剛砍掉器官農場的計畫

112
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‎什麼？我本來要換多少肝都可以

113
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‎交換條件是我閉上嘴巴
‎這是我一部份的遣散費

114
00:05:49,459 --> 00:05:51,209
‎我現在到底該怎麼辦？

115
00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:54,209
‎不曉得，爸，戒酒吧

116
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‎芮根，現在不是開玩笑的時候

117
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‎我的器官承受不了大笑

118
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‎有意見的話，去找傑爾

119
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‎我會的

120
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‎我會的

121
00:06:08,918 --> 00:06:11,168
‎這地方是傑米羅奎爾設計的嗎？

122
00:06:11,251 --> 00:06:13,959
‎因為這裡就是瘋狂的虛擬實境

123
00:06:14,043 --> 00:06:14,959
‎別放太多感情

124
00:06:15,043 --> 00:06:18,084
‎我們是來找哪個員工最沒用，然後…

125
00:06:18,168 --> 00:06:20,626
‎第一站，人獸混合部

126
00:06:20,709 --> 00:06:21,668
‎天啊

127
00:06:21,751 --> 00:06:23,126
‎搞啥…可惡

128
00:06:23,209 --> 00:06:24,709
‎醒醒，羊人

129
00:06:27,626 --> 00:06:28,834
‎（保留人獸混合部門）

130
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‎我在這看到好多重複的人

131
00:06:33,043 --> 00:06:35,001
‎這裡畢竟是複製人實驗室

132
00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:39,043
‎嗨，我是凱特，開個複製人小玩笑

133
00:06:39,126 --> 00:06:41,126
‎這是我的複製小腫瘤

134
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‎殺了我

135
00:06:42,876 --> 00:06:44,126
‎好嚇人

136
00:06:44,209 --> 00:06:46,501
‎再說一次這部門在做什麼？

137
00:06:46,584 --> 00:06:47,876
‎除了違抗上帝外

138
00:06:47,959 --> 00:06:51,584
‎我們要留存知名DNA
‎以便執行與歷史相關的陰謀

139
00:06:51,668 --> 00:06:53,126
‎真酷，妳有吐派克嗎？

140
00:06:53,209 --> 00:06:55,668
‎有，還有三號跟四號呢

141
00:06:55,751 --> 00:06:56,709
‎-惡棍生活
‎-西區

142
00:06:56,793 --> 00:06:58,959
‎-風景很好
‎-這裡好冷

143
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:01,543
‎接觸熱源會讓這些東西不穩定

144
00:07:03,584 --> 00:07:06,001
‎看來我們現在也有妳的DNA了

145
00:07:06,084 --> 00:07:08,418
‎我應該可以在妳睡覺時
‎用複製人取代妳

146
00:07:08,501 --> 00:07:10,959
‎不會有人發現，我開玩笑的

147
00:07:12,251 --> 00:07:13,084
‎是這樣嗎？

148
00:07:13,168 --> 00:07:14,668
‎她沒開玩笑

149
00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:17,043
‎（暗殺部）

150
00:07:17,626 --> 00:07:19,626
‎好，今天最後一個面談

151
00:07:21,168 --> 00:07:23,376
‎抱歉，小子
‎我把你看成甘迺迪家的人了

152
00:07:23,459 --> 00:07:25,043
‎大概是習慣吧

153
00:07:25,126 --> 00:07:27,043
‎天啊，我聽過你

154
00:07:27,126 --> 00:07:28,834
‎是你槍殺甘迺迪總統的

155
00:07:28,918 --> 00:07:30,168
‎沒錯

156
00:07:30,251 --> 00:07:32,793
‎碧草諾爾艾金森供您差遣

157
00:07:32,876 --> 00:07:35,834
‎有問題，開槍就對了，沒錯

158
00:07:35,918 --> 00:07:38,584
‎你會對殺人感到…過意不去嗎？

159
00:07:38,668 --> 00:07:40,043
‎恐怕沒辦法

160
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:43,501
‎甘迺迪跟羅斯威爾的外星人做愛
‎結果懷孕了

161
00:07:43,584 --> 00:07:46,251
‎你不知道我得在蛋孵化前殺了他嗎？

162
00:07:46,918 --> 00:07:49,209
‎長輩真的是我們跟歷史的連結

163
00:07:49,293 --> 00:07:52,209
‎你一陣子沒執行暗殺任務了，對吧？

164
00:07:52,293 --> 00:07:55,168
‎可能老諾爾不中用了吧

165
00:07:55,251 --> 00:07:59,043
‎現在的暗殺行動少了人的情感連結

166
00:07:59,126 --> 00:08:01,751
‎現在都是臉書線上直播殺人

167
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:04,001
‎-我們應該聽夠了
‎-人真好

168
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,918
‎他就像德州智慧倉庫大樓

169
00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:09,043
‎碧草諾爾艾金森

170
00:08:09,126 --> 00:08:10,876
‎他的薪資是？

171
00:08:10,959 --> 00:08:12,793
‎-比你的多
‎-炒他魷魚

172
00:08:12,876 --> 00:08:13,959
‎太好了

173
00:08:14,543 --> 00:08:16,751
‎各位，你們會很高興聽到

174
00:08:16,834 --> 00:08:19,459
‎芮根，我的進度超前
‎已經開始收尾了

175
00:08:19,543 --> 00:08:23,293
‎他們說的是真的
‎冰毒真的是古柯鹼的聰明藥

176
00:08:23,376 --> 00:08:27,459
‎我請我的化妝團隊調製
‎適合妳皮膚用的精華液

177
00:08:28,251 --> 00:08:31,876
‎我看起來就像修片後

178
00:08:31,959 --> 00:08:34,876
‎芮根，我最近一直在自省

179
00:08:34,959 --> 00:08:36,709
‎你是說反省自己嗎？

180
00:08:36,793 --> 00:08:38,209
‎去妳媽的，賤人

181
00:08:38,293 --> 00:08:39,584
‎以前的邁克就會這樣說

182
00:08:39,668 --> 00:08:44,084
‎但新的邁克會說
‎“船長，我的船長”

183
00:08:44,168 --> 00:08:47,626
‎我解決了以色列和巴基斯坦的衝突

184
00:08:48,209 --> 00:08:50,001
‎妳要的話，我也可以讓他們繼續衝突

185
00:08:50,084 --> 00:08:51,668
‎這是怎麼回事？

186
00:08:51,751 --> 00:08:55,043
‎他們以為自己要回家吃自己
‎所以在討好我們

187
00:08:55,751 --> 00:08:56,793
‎我們愛妳，老闆

188
00:08:57,376 --> 00:08:59,959
‎這是他們有史以來生產力最好的時候

189
00:09:00,043 --> 00:09:01,918
‎要告訴他們真的很可惜

190
00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:04,084
‎大夥，我們決定要解僱…

191
00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:07,918
‎還沒決定，有太多要考量的

192
00:09:08,501 --> 00:09:09,334
‎妳在做什麼？

193
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:13,043
‎我要利用這機會在這完成一些事情

194
00:09:13,959 --> 00:09:15,501
‎嘔吐桶在哪？

195
00:09:15,584 --> 00:09:19,084
‎歡迎光臨媒體操控及下意識訊息部門

196
00:09:19,168 --> 00:09:21,876
‎我們在這發明垃圾讓人分心

197
00:09:21,959 --> 00:09:23,626
‎你們以為是誰發明小小兵的？

198
00:09:25,584 --> 00:09:27,584
‎放慢速度看看會怎麼樣

199
00:09:28,626 --> 00:09:31,251
‎殺了你們的爸媽

200
00:09:31,334 --> 00:09:33,918
‎反正我也想殺了我爸媽
‎沒什麼好了不起的

201
00:09:34,001 --> 00:09:36,459
‎也許這則新聞會對妳的胃口

202
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:38,543
‎我們中斷總統的完美演說

203
00:09:38,626 --> 00:09:40,209
‎為您帶來這則即時新聞

204
00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:44,626
‎最近的民調發現
‎芮根雷德利綁馬尾超好看

205
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,043
‎我們全都在談論這件事

206
00:09:46,126 --> 00:09:47,584
‎公正平衡的報導

207
00:09:47,668 --> 00:09:50,709
‎我剛用妳的名字
‎替最新的高速飛彈命名

208
00:09:50,793 --> 00:09:53,334
‎妳想炸掉什麼？
‎選個國家，什麼國家都行

209
00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:55,793
‎芬蘭最近很自滿

210
00:09:55,876 --> 00:09:57,709
‎哎呀，這太沒希望了

211
00:09:57,793 --> 00:09:58,918
‎妳不喜歡嗎？

212
00:09:59,001 --> 00:10:01,043
‎紅色警戒，給她看B計畫

213
00:10:05,626 --> 00:10:06,876
‎我不討厭這個

214
00:10:07,543 --> 00:10:09,001
‎歡迎來到我的單身漢小窩

215
00:10:09,084 --> 00:10:12,793
‎電腦，將這間房的燈光設成芮根模式

216
00:10:14,126 --> 00:10:16,334
‎他們在幫他擠黏液嗎？
‎我們應該看嗎？

217
00:10:16,418 --> 00:10:19,209
‎這噁心的程度比那更多

218
00:10:19,293 --> 00:10:21,501
‎這個生物會分泌純大腦素

219
00:10:21,584 --> 00:10:23,668
‎這是我們公司
‎用來消除記憶的化學物質

220
00:10:23,751 --> 00:10:26,084
‎手軟軟的傢伙
‎少講點話，多擠點黏液

221
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:28,376
‎如果妳留住我的部門

222
00:10:28,459 --> 00:10:31,251
‎我可以幫妳打一點記憶消除劑

223
00:10:31,959 --> 00:10:33,459
‎看完這個，我要來個十劑

224
00:10:33,543 --> 00:10:38,209
‎天啊，我要射了

225
00:10:38,293 --> 00:10:40,293
‎快點，拿根煙給他

226
00:10:41,959 --> 00:10:45,793
‎所以我跟我爸說
‎“老爸，你為什麼不自己來拿肝？”

227
00:10:47,751 --> 00:10:50,626
‎妳這個笑話越說越好笑

228
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:54,168
‎看來老闆需要再來一杯

229
00:10:54,251 --> 00:10:56,793
‎天啊，殺了我，這是折磨

230
00:10:56,876 --> 00:10:58,126
‎她喝的是權力

231
00:10:58,209 --> 00:11:00,293
‎而且努力喝到白人女孩茫的境界

232
00:11:00,376 --> 00:11:02,126
‎我立志要贏，臭三八

233
00:11:02,209 --> 00:11:04,084
‎芮根，嘿

234
00:11:04,168 --> 00:11:07,251
‎妳今晚要跟我們去麥奧特拉歡唱嗎？

235
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:10,918
‎真的嗎？我以為大家討厭我唱歌
‎真心討厭那種

236
00:11:11,001 --> 00:11:14,626
‎你們還用我唱的《紫雨》
‎突破伊斯蘭國的俘虜

237
00:11:15,584 --> 00:11:20,251
‎那只是朋友之間的玩笑話
‎我們真的是朋友

238
00:11:22,001 --> 00:11:24,668
‎-芮根
‎-別這樣，讓我享受這一切

239
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:27,459
‎就這麼一天，我能體會當你的感覺

240
00:11:27,543 --> 00:11:28,793
‎超爽的

241
00:11:30,376 --> 00:11:33,501
‎長官，我剛傳了影片連結
‎我認為您應該看看

242
00:11:33,584 --> 00:11:34,418
‎什麼？

243
00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:38,418
‎我是蘭德雷德利
‎歡迎收看《蘭德愛咆哮》

244
00:11:38,501 --> 00:11:40,168
‎不了，這我不擔心

245
00:11:40,251 --> 00:11:43,376
‎沒人會相信蘭德酒後的陰謀論

246
00:11:43,959 --> 00:11:46,793
‎今天我們的主題是傑爾薛普

247
00:11:46,876 --> 00:11:49,918
‎一個跟他百萬髮片一樣虛假的傢伙

248
00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:54,251
‎一個沒種讓我閉嘴的傢伙，我說真的

249
00:11:54,334 --> 00:11:56,543
‎因為他在光明會的年度暢飲郵輪之旅

250
00:11:56,626 --> 00:11:58,876
‎玩性愛鞦韆時發生意外
‎弄破一邊的蛋蛋

251
00:12:00,501 --> 00:12:02,709
‎那是80年代，一堆人一起雜交

252
00:12:02,793 --> 00:12:04,168
‎他也在現場

253
00:12:04,251 --> 00:12:07,626
‎這個人渣應該給我生存所需的肝臟

254
00:12:07,709 --> 00:12:11,459
‎不然我就得被迫流出他自己拍的
‎《週六夜現場》試鏡影片

255
00:12:11,543 --> 00:12:14,834
‎對，他扮演韓裔酒類專賣店老闆

256
00:12:14,918 --> 00:12:16,626
‎結果笑料不持久

257
00:12:16,709 --> 00:12:20,334
‎可惡，威脅要洩漏深層政府是一回事

258
00:12:20,418 --> 00:12:23,043
‎但他不能嘲弄我的喜劇

259
00:12:23,126 --> 00:12:25,001
‎要發動無人機攻擊嗎？

260
00:12:25,751 --> 00:12:28,459
‎不用，他在醒目公司的佔股太多

261
00:12:28,543 --> 00:12:31,793
‎他如果掛了
‎股份就會移轉給他的前妻民子

262
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,793
‎不行，我要以迂迴的方式應對

263
00:12:33,876 --> 00:12:36,709
‎該讓這條蛇見天敵狐獴了

264
00:12:38,001 --> 00:12:41,168
‎《滑板少年》，唱得真好

265
00:12:41,751 --> 00:12:44,543
‎如果我有耳朵，現在應該噴血了

266
00:12:45,376 --> 00:12:46,209
‎謝謝大家

267
00:12:46,293 --> 00:12:50,834
‎真正的艾薇兒掛了
‎在2003年以複製人取代

268
00:12:51,334 --> 00:12:53,334
‎很好，剛是芮根的表演，各位

269
00:12:53,418 --> 00:12:57,334
‎接下來由葛倫帶來
‎《以身為美國人為榮》

270
00:12:57,418 --> 00:12:58,251
‎又來了

271
00:12:59,584 --> 00:13:00,834
‎鼓掌，不然就是叛國賊

272
00:13:00,918 --> 00:13:05,293
‎芮根，我想說大家都醉了
‎而且心情很好

273
00:13:05,376 --> 00:13:08,293
‎或許該跟團隊說明真相了

274
00:13:08,376 --> 00:13:13,751
‎布萊特，貼心的布萊特
‎天啊，瞧瞧這張甜美的臉蛋

275
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,584
‎你要放輕鬆

276
00:13:15,668 --> 00:13:18,793
‎我們要不要整隊撤退到冰島？

277
00:13:18,876 --> 00:13:20,584
‎-我來查班機
‎-芮根

278
00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:22,876
‎好，我會跟他們說

279
00:13:22,959 --> 00:13:25,751
‎各位，聽好了

280
00:13:25,834 --> 00:13:29,043
‎你們的飯碗都很安全
‎大家還是有工作…

281
00:13:29,126 --> 00:13:31,084
‎-我好棒
‎-太好了，讚啦

282
00:13:31,584 --> 00:13:34,084
‎芮根，芮根…

283
00:13:34,168 --> 00:13:36,168
‎既然我們真正喜歡上妳

284
00:13:36,251 --> 00:13:40,293
‎我要關掉所有我在推特上
‎羞辱妳的人頭帳戶

285
00:13:40,376 --> 00:13:42,626
‎…因為我們要資遣碧草諾爾

286
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:46,043
‎碧草諾爾艾金森

287
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:48,584
‎不行，親愛的，那傢伙是傳奇人物

288
00:13:48,668 --> 00:13:50,043
‎對，而且很貼心

289
00:13:50,126 --> 00:13:52,084
‎他在我離婚後勸我不要自殺

290
00:13:52,168 --> 00:13:54,959
‎他在跑酷大會上說服我爬上岩架

291
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,543
‎你從哪變出這個相框的？

292
00:13:56,626 --> 00:13:59,251
‎誰會拿著裱框照片講道理？

293
00:13:59,334 --> 00:14:01,168
‎聽著，碧草諾爾是殺手

294
00:14:01,751 --> 00:14:03,501
‎對，少女殺手

295
00:14:03,584 --> 00:14:05,251
‎對，他也會殺女人

296
00:14:05,334 --> 00:14:06,834
‎恭喜你們，白痴

297
00:14:06,918 --> 00:14:10,251
‎你們剛資遣全公司最受人喜愛的傢伙

298
00:14:10,334 --> 00:14:12,168
‎比布萊特還受人喜愛嗎？

299
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:13,709
‎吃屎吧，肯尼娃娃

300
00:14:15,876 --> 00:14:17,334
‎（要命，芮根）

301
00:14:17,418 --> 00:14:19,751
‎-滾
‎-妳真爛

302
00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:23,626
‎真不敢相信他們對我這麼惡劣

303
00:14:23,709 --> 00:14:26,043
‎這就是成為妳的感覺嗎？

304
00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:27,668
‎對

305
00:14:28,543 --> 00:14:31,251
‎布萊特，我體驗過受歡迎的滋味

306
00:14:31,334 --> 00:14:32,668
‎現在回不去了

307
00:14:32,751 --> 00:14:34,334
‎如果想拯救諾爾的工作

308
00:14:34,418 --> 00:14:36,668
‎我們就得證明請他是有價值的

309
00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:39,834
‎我只要放走一個甘迺迪複製人

310
00:14:39,918 --> 00:14:41,418
‎讓那老頭子重新他暗殺一次

311
00:14:41,501 --> 00:14:44,501
‎他就會成為英雄
‎我也會成為英雄，雙贏

312
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,084
‎妳確定這方法好嗎？

313
00:14:46,168 --> 00:14:48,876
‎因為我也有同樣的想法
‎但不好意思說

314
00:14:48,959 --> 00:14:50,251
‎快去找諾爾，馬上去

315
00:14:51,834 --> 00:14:54,126
‎這樣好了，說不定列出

316
00:14:54,209 --> 00:14:57,126
‎他沒吃的性功能障礙藥會更快

317
00:15:00,293 --> 00:15:01,251
‎王八蛋

318
00:15:03,918 --> 00:15:06,959
‎你可以停止這一切，兄弟
‎我只需要肝臟

319
00:15:07,043 --> 00:15:09,793
‎我沒辦法給你肝臟，我們沒經費

320
00:15:11,251 --> 00:15:14,209
‎我願意不惜代價
‎連把公司的股份給你都行

321
00:15:15,084 --> 00:15:17,376
‎這樣吧，不如我們約在

322
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,876
‎以前談生意的餐館，解決這件事？

323
00:15:20,668 --> 00:15:21,501
‎一言為定

324
00:15:22,084 --> 00:15:25,043
‎天啊，那傢伙以前可是
‎操弄人心的大師

325
00:15:25,126 --> 00:15:26,793
‎如果我計畫得沒錯

326
00:15:26,876 --> 00:15:30,918
‎我可以要他退出醒目公司，完全消失

327
00:15:32,001 --> 00:15:32,959
‎狐獴

328
00:15:34,251 --> 00:15:35,376
‎狐獴

329
00:15:44,251 --> 00:15:48,084
‎別問你的國家能為你做什麼，問…

330
00:15:48,168 --> 00:15:49,584
‎我到底在哪？

331
00:15:49,668 --> 00:15:51,709
‎說來話長，但我要你跟著我

332
00:15:51,793 --> 00:15:54,293
‎去暗殺樓層，沒為什麼

333
00:15:54,376 --> 00:15:55,501
‎來看看，在哪呢？

334
00:15:55,584 --> 00:15:57,834
‎我們走維修通道

335
00:15:57,918 --> 00:15:59,126
‎不對

336
00:16:02,251 --> 00:16:04,751
‎這個帥氣的花花公子是誰呢？

337
00:16:04,834 --> 00:16:06,834
‎我喜歡你的樣子，老兄

338
00:16:06,918 --> 00:16:07,751
‎我也是

339
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:11,584
‎我也一樣，開始狂歡吧

340
00:16:11,668 --> 00:16:12,876
‎好，那應該…

341
00:16:12,959 --> 00:16:16,126
‎慢著，你們…等一下，別動

342
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:20,126
‎我們才不會被一個四分的女人指使

343
00:16:20,209 --> 00:16:23,668
‎你們這些王八…
‎我用了濾鏡至少有七分

344
00:16:23,751 --> 00:16:26,084
‎真奇怪

345
00:16:26,168 --> 00:16:27,418
‎真奇怪

346
00:16:29,751 --> 00:16:30,584
‎此外

347
00:16:30,668 --> 00:16:32,459
‎警告

348
00:16:32,543 --> 00:16:35,334
‎-嘿，媽媽
‎-複製人隔離艙出現漏洞

349
00:16:35,418 --> 00:16:37,626
‎-警告
‎-慢著，不行，救命啊

350
00:16:37,709 --> 00:16:40,251
‎抓住複製的手段

351
00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:43,501
‎再見了，孩子

352
00:16:44,084 --> 00:16:46,293
‎嘿，媽媽

353
00:16:47,001 --> 00:16:49,251
‎-諾爾，惡棍甘迺迪脫逃了
‎-什麼？

354
00:16:49,334 --> 00:16:51,834
‎而且他的頭沒被車頂或任何東西遮蔽

355
00:16:51,918 --> 00:16:53,168
‎他自己來找死了

356
00:16:53,959 --> 00:16:54,793
‎此外

357
00:16:54,876 --> 00:16:56,334
‎讓開，小子

358
00:16:56,418 --> 00:17:00,126
‎等你看到這，你會永遠記得你在哪

359
00:17:00,209 --> 00:17:02,668
‎穩住

360
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:08,126
‎天啊

361
00:17:08,209 --> 00:17:10,751
‎甘迺迪倍增的數量
‎就像甘迺迪家族一樣

362
00:17:10,834 --> 00:17:12,126
‎諾爾，做你該做的

363
00:17:12,918 --> 00:17:14,043
‎我沒子彈了

364
00:17:15,293 --> 00:17:17,293
‎-真奇怪
‎-你有槍嗎？

365
00:17:17,376 --> 00:17:20,376
‎沒有，但我有一罐噴霧止汗劑

366
00:17:27,584 --> 00:17:30,959
‎止汗劑不只能殺人，味道還很香

367
00:17:31,043 --> 00:17:33,793
‎你這笨蛋，他們不能接觸熱源

368
00:17:39,209 --> 00:17:41,834
‎快跑，小子，我會盡量拖延他們

369
00:17:41,918 --> 00:17:45,876
‎-諾爾，那你呢？
‎-追尋遠大的目標，孩子

370
00:17:45,959 --> 00:17:47,126
‎此外

371
00:17:49,751 --> 00:17:51,834
‎諾爾

372
00:17:54,751 --> 00:17:57,043
‎不對，你不過是隻獵犬

373
00:17:57,126 --> 00:17:58,459
‎（醒目公司）

374
00:17:58,543 --> 00:18:00,168
‎布萊特，複製人脫逃了

375
00:18:00,251 --> 00:18:02,376
‎情況比那更糟
‎我試圖放火燒他們結果…

376
00:18:02,459 --> 00:18:03,501
‎看過《阿基拉》嗎？

377
00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:07,209
‎我當然看過《阿基拉》
‎動畫是現在的主流

378
00:18:13,084 --> 00:18:14,126
‎這什麼鬼？

379
00:18:19,459 --> 00:18:20,376
‎此外

380
00:18:22,418 --> 00:18:24,709
‎真奇怪

381
00:18:25,501 --> 00:18:28,543
‎（全球頂尖危機管理人）

382
00:18:28,626 --> 00:18:29,626
‎我們要怎麼辦？

383
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:33,084
‎布萊特，那東西
‎每15分鐘會長大一次

384
00:18:33,168 --> 00:18:37,043
‎只要一部分的牠逃出去
‎華盛頓特區就會被夷平

385
00:18:38,293 --> 00:18:39,459
‎我知道有個地方可以躲

386
00:18:39,543 --> 00:18:41,959
‎但你要保證不說出去

387
00:18:42,043 --> 00:18:44,334
‎-你可以保密嗎？
‎-我們都知道我做不到

388
00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:46,251
‎此外

389
00:18:49,418 --> 00:18:50,251
‎（管制區）

390
00:18:53,834 --> 00:18:57,168
‎你們怎麼下來的？
‎這地方要指紋才能進來

391
00:18:57,251 --> 00:18:59,334
‎問問妳自己的手，芮根

392
00:18:59,918 --> 00:19:01,459
‎我要毀了那隻手

393
00:19:01,543 --> 00:19:03,918
‎我們要答案，這是到底什麼？

394
00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:08,876
‎各位，這是我的補救計畫
‎機器人總統阿爾法貝塔版

395
00:19:08,959 --> 00:19:12,001
‎瞧瞧，妳帶了全家人過來

396
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,834
‎我一直在監視器上瘋狂盯著你們

397
00:19:14,918 --> 00:19:16,418
‎愛死嬉笑喧鬧了

398
00:19:16,501 --> 00:19:18,793
‎雖然說真的，我不曉得你應該是什麼

399
00:19:18,876 --> 00:19:20,251
‎你跟魚一樣？

400
00:19:20,751 --> 00:19:23,001
‎這真是新概念啊，我說真的

401
00:19:23,084 --> 00:19:25,959
‎姊妹，妳真的在樓下
‎放了機器人陪妳聊天嗎？

402
00:19:26,043 --> 00:19:27,251
‎我讓他活著

403
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,251
‎因為我相信他的科技還能派上用場

404
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:31,459
‎我讓她活著是因為我還沒想好

405
00:19:31,543 --> 00:19:33,126
‎怎麼逃離這裡

406
00:19:33,209 --> 00:19:37,834
‎等等，妳一直在敷衍傑爾
‎留著這個殺手機器人？

407
00:19:37,918 --> 00:19:40,043
‎看來妳才應該被關起來

408
00:19:40,126 --> 00:19:41,501
‎-對啊
‎-少來了

409
00:19:41,584 --> 00:19:43,793
‎這地方沒有我，一週內就會分崩離析

410
00:19:44,334 --> 00:19:46,334
‎聽著，你們想去跟傑爾告狀
‎害我丟飯碗

411
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:48,126
‎好啊，也許是我活該

412
00:19:48,209 --> 00:19:50,293
‎但我們現在有更大的問題

413
00:19:50,376 --> 00:19:51,751
‎有個恐怖的變種人…

414
00:19:51,834 --> 00:19:53,209
‎-不是針對你，葛倫
‎-沒關係

415
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,959
‎…已經失控長大

416
00:19:55,043 --> 00:19:58,251
‎我們要在整棟樓被摧毀前阻止牠

417
00:19:58,334 --> 00:19:59,626
‎我們要怎麼做？

418
00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:02,084
‎安德烈，你能合成一種化學物質

419
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:04,959
‎用來溶解巨無霸人肉怪物嗎？

420
00:20:05,043 --> 00:20:08,668
‎如果這會讓妳氣死
‎我做出來而且賣給孟山都公司了

421
00:20:08,751 --> 00:20:11,168
‎葛倫，你的噴水孔有多強大？

422
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:14,001
‎我被好幾間飯店浴池踢出去過

423
00:20:14,084 --> 00:20:15,293
‎邁克，你來當誘餌

424
00:20:15,376 --> 00:20:16,418
‎好的

425
00:20:16,501 --> 00:20:17,876
‎慢著，什麼？她說什麼？

426
00:20:17,959 --> 00:20:20,668
‎我從不聽她說話，這下自食惡果了

427
00:20:20,751 --> 00:20:23,876
‎我們要回到主樓層
‎不被那頭怪物壓扁

428
00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:27,001
‎這條走廊盡頭有貨梯，還沒被破壞

429
00:20:28,668 --> 00:20:30,418
‎我有整棟大樓的路線圖

430
00:20:30,501 --> 00:20:32,418
‎絕不是因為我計畫要逃走

431
00:20:32,501 --> 00:20:33,376
‎所以別多想

432
00:20:33,459 --> 00:20:36,876
‎各位，我們去痛宰死甘迺迪吧

433
00:20:38,709 --> 00:20:39,709
‎準備開槍

434
00:20:41,418 --> 00:20:43,459
‎我怎知你不是要
‎引我們走入死亡陷阱？

435
00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:46,126
‎妳不知道，但妳有什麼選擇？

436
00:20:50,626 --> 00:20:52,959
‎你還記得這地方

437
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:56,168
‎對，我只要請GPS
‎帶我去找全球最大的混蛋就行

438
00:20:56,251 --> 00:20:58,293
‎親愛的，麻煩給我一杯水加水

439
00:20:58,376 --> 00:21:00,876
‎等一下，你沒喝醉？

440
00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:02,709
‎戒斷症消失後

441
00:21:02,793 --> 00:21:05,334
‎我才發現清醒適合我

442
00:21:05,418 --> 00:21:08,001
‎所以我洗了澡，梳掉陰毛上的煙灰

443
00:21:08,084 --> 00:21:10,834
‎就這樣，清醒的蘭德回來了

444
00:21:11,793 --> 00:21:13,251
‎但我帶了肝臟

445
00:21:13,334 --> 00:21:14,959
‎我帶了一連串的要求

446
00:21:15,043 --> 00:21:17,834
‎第一，你在公司的佔股

447
00:21:17,918 --> 00:21:19,501
‎你不能這樣，我們說好的

448
00:21:19,584 --> 00:21:21,834
‎你就想那些影片會有多大的傷害

449
00:21:21,918 --> 00:21:23,543
‎我現在能回想起事情了

450
00:21:23,626 --> 00:21:25,793
‎好比說你超怪的老二

451
00:21:25,876 --> 00:21:27,751
‎我們都有奇怪的老二

452
00:21:27,834 --> 00:21:30,418
‎如同華盛頓特區其他握有權力的男人

453
00:21:30,501 --> 00:21:32,959
‎-這太扯了
‎-要談條件了嗎？

454
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:34,918
‎（我的要求）

455
00:21:40,959 --> 00:21:42,168
‎誘導陷阱好了嗎？

456
00:21:42,251 --> 00:21:45,751
‎芮根，我永遠不會原諒妳
‎要我扮成兔寶寶

457
00:21:45,834 --> 00:21:46,876
‎扮就對了

458
00:21:47,959 --> 00:21:53,209
‎祝你生日快樂…

459
00:21:53,293 --> 00:21:55,751
‎成功了，繼續走，再性感點

460
00:21:55,834 --> 00:21:58,043
‎再性感點，像思春的寶貝

461
00:21:58,126 --> 00:22:00,043
‎…總統先生

462
00:22:00,126 --> 00:22:05,209
‎祝你生日快樂

463
00:22:05,293 --> 00:22:07,126
‎瑪麗蓮

464
00:22:07,209 --> 00:22:09,251
‎天啊

465
00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:16,668
‎這可能是我們所有人的末日

466
00:22:16,751 --> 00:22:19,334
‎我們是這裡最性感的兩個人，那就…

467
00:22:29,334 --> 00:22:30,751
‎-搞屁喔？
‎-這樣不行，老兄

468
00:22:30,834 --> 00:22:31,918
‎不用這樣

469
00:22:33,001 --> 00:22:35,001
‎安德烈，現在動手，快

470
00:22:35,084 --> 00:22:36,793
‎換你了，《威鯨闖天關》

471
00:22:41,209 --> 00:22:42,459
‎太好了

472
00:22:45,168 --> 00:22:47,334
‎天啊，我的坐骨神經痛

473
00:22:53,334 --> 00:22:54,376
‎此外

474
00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:59,293
‎牠想逃跑

475
00:23:04,876 --> 00:23:07,668
‎忌日快樂，總統先生

476
00:23:09,793 --> 00:23:11,751
‎-碧草諾爾
‎-諾爾，你成功了

477
00:23:12,584 --> 00:23:15,668
‎諾爾先生，歡迎回來，老朋友

478
00:23:16,168 --> 00:23:18,626
‎諾爾，諾爾…

479
00:23:18,709 --> 00:23:20,043
‎天啊，太好了

480
00:23:20,126 --> 00:23:23,334
‎我今天超不順，妳最好開除人

481
00:23:23,918 --> 00:23:28,668
‎我們其實算是清算了整個複製人部門

482
00:23:28,751 --> 00:23:31,084
‎我是說單單冷藏的費用

483
00:23:31,168 --> 00:23:33,918
‎這主意確實不錯，妳怎麼想到的？

484
00:23:34,001 --> 00:23:36,834
‎芮根把我們帶去地下室
‎她在那偷偷藏了…

485
00:23:36,918 --> 00:23:38,043
‎藏了…

486
00:23:38,126 --> 00:23:39,543
‎藏了…

487
00:23:41,001 --> 00:23:42,501
‎很棒的策略

488
00:23:42,584 --> 00:23:45,501
‎因為她是稱職的領導人

489
00:23:45,584 --> 00:23:47,543
‎-是，長官
‎-沒錯

490
00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:48,959
‎那就繼續吧

491
00:23:49,834 --> 00:23:52,376
‎-謝謝你這麼說
‎-這是真的

492
00:23:52,459 --> 00:23:55,668
‎再說，妳要是想開除我們
‎現在我們有威脅籌碼了

493
00:23:55,751 --> 00:23:58,918
‎如果你惹火我，我就告訴諾爾你睡哪

494
00:23:59,001 --> 00:24:01,209
‎相互制衡

495
00:24:01,293 --> 00:24:03,668
‎妳真能接受諾爾成為辦公室英雄嗎？

496
00:24:03,751 --> 00:24:05,918
‎-諾爾…
‎-人氣沒那麼重要

497
00:24:06,001 --> 00:24:08,584
‎我知道有一個人支持我，那就夠了

498
00:24:08,668 --> 00:24:11,334
‎-諾爾…
‎-我是阿努比斯，死亡之神

499
00:24:11,459 --> 00:24:13,459
‎我忘了殺人有多引發我的性慾

500
00:24:13,543 --> 00:24:17,001
‎你們今晚有空嗎？
‎我有友善餐館的餐券

501
00:24:20,376 --> 00:24:21,918
‎妳看起來超累，階級之戰嗎？

502
00:24:22,001 --> 00:24:22,918
‎複製人大屠殺

503
00:24:23,001 --> 00:24:27,209
‎對了，我留了特別的肝臟外送

504
00:24:29,043 --> 00:24:31,584
‎-免費的甘迺迪肝臟
‎-真棒

505
00:24:31,668 --> 00:24:34,918
‎他們事先喝醉了，別說我都不幫你

506
00:24:35,001 --> 00:24:38,793
‎謝天謝地，再不喝酒
‎我就要暗殺自己了

507
00:24:38,876 --> 00:24:41,584
‎重點是，我整死傑爾了

508
00:24:41,668 --> 00:24:43,543
‎-敬人生
‎-敬整死傑爾

509
00:24:46,209 --> 00:24:48,793
‎我不知道你為什麼要救我，但謝謝你

510
00:24:48,876 --> 00:24:51,959
‎我想對你表達我的謝意

511
00:24:52,043 --> 00:24:54,876
‎真感人，謝謝，妳真體貼

512
00:24:54,959 --> 00:24:57,668
‎不會剛好是15公尺高的機器人身體

513
00:24:57,751 --> 00:25:00,293
‎讓我能殺掉全人類吧？

514
00:25:00,918 --> 00:25:01,751
‎不算是

515
00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:04,168
‎是《六人行》第一季的前六集

516
00:25:04,251 --> 00:25:06,376
‎我在加油站找到的DVD

517
00:25:06,459 --> 00:25:08,334
‎什麼？我要這東西幹嘛？

518
00:25:08,418 --> 00:25:10,918
‎讓你有東西看
‎不用老盯著監視器畫面

519
00:25:11,001 --> 00:25:12,459
‎這根本沒價值

520
00:25:12,543 --> 00:25:15,626
‎Netflix花了一億元買版權

521
00:25:15,709 --> 00:25:17,043
‎-真的嗎？
‎-對

522
00:25:17,126 --> 00:25:18,668
‎-很扯吧
‎-至少他們有錢花

523
00:25:18,751 --> 00:25:20,459
‎-雨林不是在燃燒嗎？對
‎-對

524
00:25:50,793 --> 00:25:52,459
‎字幕翻譯：林佩孜