1 00:00:00,374 --> 00:00:02,074 _ 2 00:00:02,110 --> 00:00:04,610 _ 3 00:00:05,952 --> 00:00:08,442 REPORTERS: ...Southwark Crown Court where Charles Ingram... 4 00:00:08,478 --> 00:00:10,619 Army Major Charles Ingram and his wife Diana 5 00:00:10,655 --> 00:00:12,786 arriving at court today to face the cameras. 6 00:00:13,286 --> 00:00:15,025 Inside, Ingram is to hear claims 7 00:00:15,060 --> 00:00:17,025 that he teamed up with a coughing accomplice, 8 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,598 alleged to be college lecturer Tecwen Whittock, 9 00:00:19,634 --> 00:00:22,599 to cheat his way to the £1 million jackpot 10 00:00:22,635 --> 00:00:26,600 on ITV's hit quiz show, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. 11 00:00:26,636 --> 00:00:27,636 CLAMOURING 12 00:00:29,521 --> 00:00:31,521 _ 13 00:00:31,557 --> 00:00:35,057 _ 14 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:56,787 Oh, hello. 15 00:00:57,216 --> 00:00:59,260 I believe we're charged with co-conspiracy. 16 00:01:01,134 --> 00:01:02,546 It's nice to meet you both 17 00:01:02,582 --> 00:01:03,728 at last. 18 00:01:05,334 --> 00:01:09,575 Yes, the accused look, and to all intents and purposes, are 19 00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:12,575 respectable middle-class, middle-aged, 20 00:01:12,610 --> 00:01:14,285 middle England men and women. 21 00:01:14,399 --> 00:01:18,117 At the end of the day, this was just a game. 22 00:01:18,610 --> 00:01:22,415 A television quiz show enjoyed by millions, 23 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,575 but creating in a select few 24 00:01:24,610 --> 00:01:27,199 this unhealthy obsession 25 00:01:27,235 --> 00:01:30,487 that spilled over into an audacious heist. 26 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,730 Who wanted to be a millionaire? 27 00:01:32,766 --> 00:01:34,756 My God, these three certainly did. 28 00:01:35,492 --> 00:01:38,230 You are facing a 50-50, 29 00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:41,047 guilty or not guilty. 30 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:44,781 The Crown believes the answer to be self-evident. 31 00:01:45,610 --> 00:01:48,610 They are guilty as charged. 32 00:01:56,896 --> 00:01:59,575 REPORTER: Today, one home in three throughout the British Isles 33 00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:03,065 sits spellbound several hours a day before a magic cube. 34 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,575 A new public service is about to be launched 35 00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:08,575 over the rooftops of old London. 36 00:02:08,610 --> 00:02:10,775 Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, a holiday of a lifetime. 37 00:02:10,810 --> 00:02:13,575 You've won a marvellous 14-day holiday for two. 38 00:02:13,610 --> 00:02:16,937 You've got a radiogram and a nice easy chair to sit on. 39 00:02:16,973 --> 00:02:18,956 - Bern is the capital of... - Switzerland. 40 00:02:18,992 --> 00:02:20,391 - Edinburgh. - Scotland. 41 00:02:20,427 --> 00:02:24,574 This wonderful microwave oven and a superb range of kitchen equipment. 42 00:02:24,610 --> 00:02:25,615 Let's play Bullseye. 43 00:02:25,650 --> 00:02:29,095 For £50. Who was beaten by Martina Navratilova 44 00:02:29,130 --> 00:02:31,575 - in the 1987 finals? - Steffi Graf. 45 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,575 - APPLAUSE - Welcome to Mr and Mrs. 46 00:02:33,610 --> 00:02:35,575 We've got two happily married couples back there, 47 00:02:35,610 --> 00:02:37,934 ready and willing to hand over their nuptials to me. 48 00:02:37,970 --> 00:02:40,395 It's nice to see you, to see you... 49 00:02:40,431 --> 00:02:41,610 AUDIENCE: Nice! 50 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:49,567 51 00:02:54,338 --> 00:02:55,403 Hi, sir. 52 00:02:55,439 --> 00:02:57,574 David Liddiment. I start today. 53 00:02:57,610 --> 00:02:58,644 What department? 54 00:02:58,972 --> 00:03:00,799 Uh... I think, uh... 55 00:03:00,835 --> 00:03:03,574 Well, I suppose all of them. I'm the new Director of Programmes. 56 00:03:03,610 --> 00:03:06,997 Oh! Stand by your beds, best behaviour, new boss is here. 57 00:03:07,033 --> 00:03:08,824 God, I hate changes of leader. 58 00:03:08,860 --> 00:03:10,825 And them wanky new ideas. 59 00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:12,825 David! Claudia. Head of Entertainment. 60 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,107 - Hi. - Claudia, hi. How are you? 61 00:03:14,143 --> 00:03:17,825 Surprise, surprise, it's Claudia who gets to him first. 62 00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:19,825 - You look... - I look... I look like hell. 63 00:03:19,860 --> 00:03:22,643 Just had baby number two, that's my excuse, anyway, so... 64 00:03:22,679 --> 00:03:24,467 Uh... Time for a quick catch-up? 65 00:03:24,503 --> 00:03:26,732 - Walk and talk? - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 66 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:31,625 I'm interested in events. 67 00:03:31,690 --> 00:03:33,385 Event television. 68 00:03:33,605 --> 00:03:36,348 Why do the BBC always trounce us in the big stuff? 69 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:37,984 Diana's funeral a couple of weeks ago, 70 00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:40,305 one of the most watched programmes in TV history, 71 00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:41,845 and obviously, tragic as that was, 72 00:03:41,881 --> 00:03:43,122 - goes without saying... - Tragic. 73 00:03:43,158 --> 00:03:45,115 ...people still want to gather as a nation 74 00:03:45,151 --> 00:03:47,305 to experience something big together. 75 00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:50,907 I'm just not sure the classic light entertainment of old fits into that. 76 00:03:51,434 --> 00:03:52,452 OK. 77 00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:55,625 Well, we've always gotten our game show formats from America. 78 00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:56,998 So time for something new. 79 00:03:57,034 --> 00:03:59,028 No, time to invent our own. 80 00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:02,217 The classic TV game show can be 81 00:04:02,253 --> 00:04:04,278 the must-see TV thingy that you're looking for. 82 00:04:04,314 --> 00:04:06,228 I'm not just saying that to save my department's skin. 83 00:04:06,264 --> 00:04:08,429 Claudia, I've got Martin Bashir coming in this morning to discuss... 84 00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:11,390 Very important, but if you just let me bring some people in... 85 00:04:11,426 --> 00:04:13,391 I have one. I think I have one. 86 00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,392 It's an old one. The last gaffer rejected it. 87 00:04:15,428 --> 00:04:17,233 Brilliant. Why is it an event? 88 00:04:17,269 --> 00:04:19,429 Because they're going to give away £1 million. 89 00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:28,625 The idea then would be that the higher up the mountain you climb, 90 00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:32,625 the more your time would deplete, the way that oxygen might deplete. 91 00:04:32,660 --> 00:04:34,145 No. Stop trying to complicate it. 92 00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:36,625 It's simple. Questions and answers. 93 00:04:36,660 --> 00:04:39,395 Paul, for crying out... This isn't 1955. 94 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,625 Everyone else is making shows where you spy on strangers in a house 95 00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:44,625 - or throw them out of helicopters. - Yeah. Crap. Desperate. 96 00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:46,625 This is the show we're going to pitch. 97 00:04:46,660 --> 00:04:47,665 Re-pitch. 98 00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:49,975 We could set it on actual mountain. 99 00:04:50,334 --> 00:04:52,831 Well, like a little one. Like in... 100 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:54,625 Wales or... 101 00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,246 Look, right, I'm with Paul. 102 00:04:56,282 --> 00:04:58,247 It's what we did on the radio show with Chris. 103 00:04:58,283 --> 00:05:00,476 Answer a question, you get it right, you double it, 104 00:05:00,512 --> 00:05:03,624 so you keep doubling, so the higher up you go, 105 00:05:03,660 --> 00:05:06,625 the more you can earn, but the more you can lose. 106 00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:07,625 People love it. 107 00:05:07,660 --> 00:05:08,945 But the networks don't. 108 00:05:09,180 --> 00:05:11,305 That's why they all turned it down the first time. 109 00:05:11,340 --> 00:05:12,625 Fusty old game show. 110 00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:16,046 It's not a game show, it's a quiz. 111 00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:18,660 That's the joy of it. 112 00:05:19,223 --> 00:05:22,106 People love a good pub quiz. 113 00:05:22,605 --> 00:05:26,710 A uniquely British invention combining our two greatest loves, 114 00:05:26,746 --> 00:05:29,195 drinking and being right. 115 00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:33,601 Nope. Fine. You write it down, then. 116 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:34,725 Ever the teacher, you do it. 117 00:05:34,761 --> 00:05:36,405 - That's not how you spell that. - Question three. 118 00:05:37,377 --> 00:05:39,625 The Living Room War was the nickname 119 00:05:39,660 --> 00:05:41,625 given to which conflict 120 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:45,623 perceived to be the first truly televised war of the 20th century? 121 00:05:46,020 --> 00:05:47,625 - Suez? - Korean? 122 00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:48,625 - Maybe it is Suez. - No, it was too early, 123 00:05:48,660 --> 00:05:50,625 we didn't have a TV during Suez. 124 00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:52,302 Vietnam. It's Vietnam. 125 00:05:52,355 --> 00:05:53,625 Are you sure, Dad? 126 00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:56,625 Uh... Who here got down to the last four on Fifteen To One, 127 00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:58,127 toughest show on television? 128 00:05:58,163 --> 00:05:59,350 Vietnam. 129 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,999 Diana. Diana? 130 00:06:02,350 --> 00:06:03,825 Telephone. Diana. 131 00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:05,727 Guess who for 12 points. 132 00:06:06,223 --> 00:06:09,508 "I say, darling, is that the time? Deary me. 133 00:06:09,544 --> 00:06:11,509 "In the army, one must always be on time. 134 00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:12,510 "Golly." 135 00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:15,060 Oi! No phone calls. Cheating. 136 00:06:15,146 --> 00:06:17,254 I'm not cheating. We don't cheat. 137 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,313 Charles, it's Tuesday, 138 00:06:19,370 --> 00:06:20,623 pub quiz night, my one night... 139 00:06:20,659 --> 00:06:22,984 No, hello, darling. No, no, no, I'm not asking you to come home, 140 00:06:23,020 --> 00:06:25,625 it's just that Polly wants you to hear her piano piece before bedtime. 141 00:06:25,660 --> 00:06:27,346 She's got all the way through the first bit. 142 00:06:27,542 --> 00:06:30,036 I'll hold the phone out. One second. One sec. 143 00:06:33,862 --> 00:06:34,827 Go. Go. 144 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,894 PLAYS 'AIR ON THE G STRING' BY BACH 145 00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:54,660 Question four, in which country was the Rosetta Stone found in 1799? 146 00:06:59,660 --> 00:07:00,851 That's all I've got. 147 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,296 That's all she's got. 148 00:07:02,332 --> 00:07:03,625 That's all she's gotten. 149 00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:04,924 That's all for now, darling. 150 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,826 Oh, well, tell her well done. I'll be home soon. 151 00:07:06,862 --> 00:07:08,668 - Lots of love. - Next question... 152 00:07:09,283 --> 00:07:11,183 _ 153 00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:15,625 It's exciting! 154 00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:17,864 Brand-new school, new children, new friends. 155 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:20,077 It's just memorising all the names. 156 00:07:20,113 --> 00:07:21,625 They'll need a system. 157 00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:23,540 Can you call the landlord tonight about the boiler? 158 00:07:23,576 --> 00:07:26,176 - Last thing we needed was cold showers this morning. - Sure. 159 00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:29,337 - You feeling all right today? - Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. 160 00:07:30,041 --> 00:07:32,625 It's a bit of a step down, isn't it, training other officers? 161 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,876 Well, it's a step around. It's a step different. 162 00:07:34,938 --> 00:07:37,131 It's nice to be near your dad and Adrian, isn't it? 163 00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:39,624 Yes, although you should have seen him last night, 164 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,625 so competitive, he drives me crazy. 165 00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:43,625 But you're quite competitive too in a lovely way. 166 00:07:43,660 --> 00:07:45,625 Nothing wrong with a bit of ambition, Charles. 167 00:07:45,811 --> 00:07:47,625 So, it's multiple choice, 168 00:07:47,660 --> 00:07:49,625 which has never been done on telly before, ever, 169 00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:52,625 and you get to see the question and four possible answers 170 00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:53,825 before you decide to play. 171 00:07:53,860 --> 00:07:55,625 Right, so it's easier, then? 172 00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:57,625 No, if anything, it adds to the torment. 173 00:07:57,915 --> 00:08:00,326 And there's no clock, they get as long as they want. 174 00:08:00,362 --> 00:08:01,625 Well, where's the tension? 175 00:08:01,660 --> 00:08:03,835 Because we're watching people potentially 176 00:08:03,871 --> 00:08:06,568 making life-changing decisions. 177 00:08:07,137 --> 00:08:10,465 And we'll just sit there and watch them go through it all, 178 00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:12,625 the whole gamut of emotions, waiting. 179 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:15,238 And then there's also the matter 180 00:08:15,274 --> 00:08:17,624 of the largest game show prize in the history of television. 181 00:08:17,792 --> 00:08:20,113 Right, yeah, so you're gonna bankrupt us all. 182 00:08:20,149 --> 00:08:21,539 Oh, there's nothing to worry about. 183 00:08:21,575 --> 00:08:25,588 It would take a very unique sort of person to risk going all the way. 184 00:08:25,624 --> 00:08:27,835 That fear is built into the show. 185 00:08:28,039 --> 00:08:29,625 Well, let's try it. Play it with you. 186 00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:30,623 Now. 187 00:08:31,457 --> 00:08:33,036 Sure, why not? Love a game. 188 00:08:33,072 --> 00:08:34,625 And we thought, to make things more real, 189 00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:36,625 you could put your own money in. 190 00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:38,308 £250, say? 191 00:08:38,344 --> 00:08:40,061 For the psychology, you know. 192 00:08:40,097 --> 00:08:41,366 Oh, you did, did you? 193 00:08:43,020 --> 00:08:44,625 Right. Yeah. 194 00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:47,881 You think I just carry £250 around with me? 195 00:08:49,565 --> 00:08:51,956 Certainly close. 230. 196 00:08:52,545 --> 00:08:54,114 Claudia, do you have, um... 197 00:08:54,781 --> 00:08:57,761 - What, you want me to put in... - 20 quid, I'm putting in 230. 198 00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:00,230 Yeah. Yeah, OK. 199 00:09:00,571 --> 00:09:01,625 Let's play... 200 00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:03,625 ♪ Dooo... ♪ 201 00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:04,806 What was that? 202 00:09:04,842 --> 00:09:05,980 That's the... 203 00:09:06,016 --> 00:09:07,331 the lights going down. 204 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:09,625 Something along that. 205 00:09:09,660 --> 00:09:11,337 OK. Question one, 206 00:09:11,373 --> 00:09:14,298 what would an aborigine do with his wurlie? 207 00:09:14,509 --> 00:09:16,201 Would he, A, eat it, 208 00:09:16,394 --> 00:09:17,879 B, hunt with it, 209 00:09:18,031 --> 00:09:19,809 C, play it, 210 00:09:20,042 --> 00:09:21,587 D, live in it? 211 00:09:22,216 --> 00:09:24,625 Now, you have three Helping Hands or something... 212 00:09:24,660 --> 00:09:25,665 We're working on... 213 00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:29,625 You can phone a friend, you can halve it, 214 00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:31,985 so there's a 50-50 chance, or you can ask the audience. 215 00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:33,472 Right, the halve it option. 216 00:09:33,508 --> 00:09:34,990 C, play it, 217 00:09:35,026 --> 00:09:36,175 or D, live in it. 218 00:09:38,009 --> 00:09:39,254 Sod it, live in it. 219 00:09:39,290 --> 00:09:40,625 Is the right answer. 220 00:09:40,660 --> 00:09:41,724 - Oh! - Yes! 221 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:42,670 Double. 222 00:09:42,706 --> 00:09:43,871 You know, I... 223 00:09:44,227 --> 00:09:46,097 - I really thought it was that one. - Yeah. 224 00:09:46,382 --> 00:09:49,507 Question three, who was the reigning monarch 225 00:09:49,543 --> 00:09:52,700 when Britain lost the war of independence with America? 226 00:09:52,736 --> 00:09:54,625 - Was it... - George II. George III. 227 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,145 No, no, George II. 228 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,625 - Right, do... - George III. 229 00:09:57,660 --> 00:09:58,625 Do you want the options? 230 00:09:58,660 --> 00:09:59,625 Yeah, give me the options. 231 00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:02,385 Question four. Now, this is to double your money again, 232 00:10:02,421 --> 00:10:03,515 - or you lose it all. - Mm-hm. 233 00:10:03,551 --> 00:10:06,230 In feet, what is the length of the Titanic, 234 00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:07,625 663, 235 00:10:07,661 --> 00:10:09,378 773, 236 00:10:09,414 --> 00:10:10,808 883, 237 00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:12,331 993? 238 00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:14,282 SIGHS 239 00:10:14,318 --> 00:10:15,815 Well, I'll, um... 240 00:10:16,396 --> 00:10:18,892 I'll use my last life boat. 241 00:10:18,928 --> 00:10:20,956 Helping Hand, although, actually, that's... 242 00:10:20,992 --> 00:10:22,665 Anyway, uh... Ask the audience. 243 00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:24,533 They'd each be given a keypad to vote. 244 00:10:24,569 --> 00:10:26,534 Why don't you just ask them out there, if you like, 245 00:10:26,570 --> 00:10:28,570 - as a sort of audience? - OK. 246 00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:33,625 Oi! Listen, everyone, a sec. 247 00:10:33,660 --> 00:10:34,725 Uh... 248 00:10:35,022 --> 00:10:37,256 How long is the Titanic in feet? 249 00:10:37,292 --> 00:10:39,624 Is it, uh... What were the bloody options again? 250 00:10:39,660 --> 00:10:40,797 - 663. - 663. 251 00:10:40,833 --> 00:10:42,357 - 773. - 773. 252 00:10:42,393 --> 00:10:43,918 - 883. - Yeah, I've got it now, thanks. 253 00:10:43,954 --> 00:10:45,754 883 or 993. 254 00:10:46,660 --> 00:10:48,712 Well, come on, the great and the good, have a guess. 255 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,475 Right, well, you're all fired. 256 00:10:53,660 --> 00:10:55,097 Bloody useless. 257 00:10:56,479 --> 00:10:57,652 I'll stick. 258 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:00,660 Keep my money. 259 00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:03,609 Yeah. 260 00:11:04,767 --> 00:11:06,452 Yeah, there is something in it, 261 00:11:06,660 --> 00:11:07,858 but... 262 00:11:08,796 --> 00:11:12,067 if people do win more than we get from the phone lines, 263 00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:13,660 we're screwed. 264 00:11:17,853 --> 00:11:19,741 I'll go halves on the risk with you. 265 00:11:20,660 --> 00:11:21,625 With ITV. 266 00:11:22,455 --> 00:11:25,124 I'll absorb 50% of the liability myself. 267 00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:29,826 I want a pilot 268 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:32,126 and we'll see. 269 00:11:36,105 --> 00:11:38,390 Don't worry, in for a penny, in for a... 270 00:11:38,660 --> 00:11:40,073 million pounds. 271 00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:42,055 I, uh... 272 00:11:42,339 --> 00:11:45,304 need to go and have a very awkward conversation with my wife. 273 00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:46,732 It'll be fine. 274 00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:48,195 Fine. 275 00:11:48,231 --> 00:11:51,272 Let's just hope the first people to phone in for the show are... 276 00:11:51,308 --> 00:11:53,308 well, idiots. 277 00:11:54,925 --> 00:11:56,925 CLASSICAL MUSIC 278 00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:09,660 HUMS ALONG 279 00:12:12,392 --> 00:12:14,955 I hope you're finding it peaceful here, Major Ingram. 280 00:12:14,991 --> 00:12:17,402 Beautiful part of the world of course, Wiltshire. 281 00:12:17,753 --> 00:12:20,245 - Lovely walks. - Absolutely. Yes. 282 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,624 Plenty of space for the kids to, um... 283 00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:23,643 And we have a cat now. Uh... 284 00:12:24,105 --> 00:12:25,390 for the family to... 285 00:12:25,426 --> 00:12:27,624 - Well, yeah, so... - And you were in Bosnia? 286 00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:28,625 Yes, sir. 287 00:12:28,764 --> 00:12:30,625 - Please. - Oh, thank you. 288 00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:32,876 Bit of a gear shift, though, desk work. 289 00:12:32,912 --> 00:12:36,281 Well, I wanted a bit more normality, I suppose, for my family, 290 00:12:36,317 --> 00:12:37,282 and I'd, um... 291 00:12:37,425 --> 00:12:40,166 I'd seen it with my own, you know. 292 00:12:40,202 --> 00:12:43,624 When I was growing up, my father in the air force 293 00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:45,451 and my brother in the navy, and, uh... 294 00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:48,625 Although... Well, my mother does something altogether different, 295 00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:50,853 she designs sets for plays. 296 00:12:51,172 --> 00:12:53,426 Ah, the theatre. My, my. 297 00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:55,985 And you were never tempted to tread the boards yourself? 298 00:12:56,020 --> 00:12:59,625 No, no, God, no. Military life's a much better fit. 299 00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:00,625 It's, uh... 300 00:13:00,825 --> 00:13:04,625 Yeah, well, it's wholly away from the limelight, isn't it? 301 00:13:04,725 --> 00:13:06,825 A uniform anonymises you 302 00:13:07,243 --> 00:13:10,527 and puts you in the service for something else, something greater. 303 00:13:11,331 --> 00:13:13,296 Still, doesn't mean one can't enjoy 304 00:13:13,332 --> 00:13:16,383 a bit of the old theatrical razzmatazz, eh? 305 00:13:16,419 --> 00:13:18,624 ♪ I am the very model Of a modern Major General... ♪ 306 00:13:18,660 --> 00:13:19,625 Gilbert and Sullivan. 307 00:13:19,660 --> 00:13:22,145 My other used to play it for us on the piano. 308 00:13:22,180 --> 00:13:25,305 ♪ I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical... ♪ 309 00:13:25,340 --> 00:13:28,625 BOTH: ♪ From Marathon to Waterloo In order categorical ♪ 310 00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:29,625 Yeah. 311 00:13:29,660 --> 00:13:33,625 ♪ I'm very well acquainted too With matters mathematical ♪ 312 00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:37,255 ♪ I understand equations Both the simple and quadratical ♪ 313 00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:41,665 ♪ About binomial theorem I am teaming with a lot o' news ♪ 314 00:13:41,873 --> 00:13:46,625 ♪ With many cheerful facts About the square of the hypotenuse ♪ 315 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:50,465 - ♪ I'm very good at integral... ♪ - ♪ I know our mythic history... ♪ 316 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:51,625 ♪ I answer hard acrostics... ♪ 317 00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:53,185 Oh, dear, no. 318 00:13:53,328 --> 00:13:55,133 What's gone wrong? We're on different verses. 319 00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:57,253 I think you jumped to the King Arthur bit. 320 00:13:57,359 --> 00:13:59,484 - Well, that is the next bit, isn't it? - I don't think it... 321 00:13:59,582 --> 00:14:02,348 But it doesn't matter, we can go from your verse if... 322 00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,184 No, no, the moment's gone now. 323 00:14:09,962 --> 00:14:10,970 CHUCKLES 324 00:14:11,006 --> 00:14:12,009 Blimey. 325 00:14:12,207 --> 00:14:13,692 Maybe I should be paying for lunch, then. 326 00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:15,770 Oh, Chris, don't be silly. My treat. 327 00:14:15,806 --> 00:14:18,705 You've put your own house on the line, Paul. 328 00:14:18,918 --> 00:14:21,882 Is this a game show or a Mafia racket? 329 00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,315 It's fine. 330 00:14:23,351 --> 00:14:25,172 As long as we get the revenue, which we will, 331 00:14:25,207 --> 00:14:27,302 from people phoning in, which they will. 332 00:14:27,338 --> 00:14:30,274 Otherwise you, Paul Smith, have to put your own money... 333 00:14:30,967 --> 00:14:32,372 I mean, if someone... 334 00:14:32,808 --> 00:14:35,344 A million quid, my God. 335 00:14:35,380 --> 00:14:38,172 Not if you, Chris Tarrant, agree to present the show. 336 00:14:38,607 --> 00:14:40,845 A guaranteed hit. 337 00:14:41,407 --> 00:14:42,748 People will love it. 338 00:14:42,784 --> 00:14:45,749 You can sign them a cheque yourself. Your name. 339 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:46,893 Oh, me? 340 00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:48,531 So I'm liable now too? 341 00:14:48,567 --> 00:14:50,172 As a gesture, that's all. 342 00:14:50,207 --> 00:14:52,554 Look, we'll film a pilot, test the idea. 343 00:14:52,590 --> 00:14:53,727 At least do that. 344 00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:56,823 Come on, how can you not want to be a part of this? 345 00:14:57,449 --> 00:14:58,489 It'll be... 346 00:14:59,421 --> 00:15:00,449 fun. 347 00:15:01,207 --> 00:15:06,172 ♪ You take me over the rainbow And up to Cloud Nine ♪ 348 00:15:06,207 --> 00:15:10,372 ♪ I'm flying high Like a bird in the sky... ♪ 349 00:15:11,143 --> 00:15:14,172 - APPLAUSE - Welcome back to Cash Mountain. 350 00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:15,709 OK, contestants... 351 00:15:15,972 --> 00:15:18,937 - Go tighter. - Stand by... 352 00:15:18,973 --> 00:15:20,172 You will hear three beeps. 353 00:15:20,207 --> 00:15:23,485 After the third beep, four possible answers will appear. 354 00:15:23,521 --> 00:15:25,785 The fastest to select the right answer 355 00:15:25,821 --> 00:15:29,419 will be next in our hot seat to play for £1 million. 356 00:15:29,568 --> 00:15:32,172 - OK, here we go. - Tighter, OK. 357 00:15:32,207 --> 00:15:36,529 Which of these countries has a Union Jack on its flag? 358 00:15:37,011 --> 00:15:38,691 Four possible answers. 359 00:15:43,207 --> 00:15:44,692 Look, before you say anything, I know. 360 00:15:44,727 --> 00:15:46,172 I'm holding my hands up. 361 00:15:46,207 --> 00:15:47,172 The pilot looks a mess. 362 00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:50,902 - The design is all wrong. - Mess is a bit harsh, but it's too... 363 00:15:50,938 --> 00:15:51,903 Happy clappy. 364 00:15:51,939 --> 00:15:54,104 It's too Saturday night, jazz hands, it's all tits and teeth. 365 00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:56,171 Can we still say tits and teeth? 366 00:15:56,207 --> 00:15:58,172 But we'll find it, David, trust us. 367 00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:01,172 - Please. Something harder, darker. - For the drama. 368 00:16:01,207 --> 00:16:02,172 We want the audience to be... 369 00:16:02,207 --> 00:16:04,172 All right, listen. Listen. 370 00:16:04,323 --> 00:16:06,323 This is Jeff, our scheduler. 371 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,059 Schedule. You... 372 00:16:09,407 --> 00:16:11,713 What do you mean? Do you mean that we're on? 373 00:16:11,749 --> 00:16:13,111 We're gonna try and strip it. 374 00:16:13,830 --> 00:16:16,172 Lift seven days out of our autumn schedule 375 00:16:16,207 --> 00:16:19,700 and run it every night for a week at peak times. 376 00:16:19,736 --> 00:16:21,013 Event television. 377 00:16:21,049 --> 00:16:22,757 Strip a game show? 378 00:16:22,793 --> 00:16:25,359 Peak times, same time every night of the week? 379 00:16:25,433 --> 00:16:26,656 There's something in it. 380 00:16:27,007 --> 00:16:28,372 In the DNA of the game. 381 00:16:28,407 --> 00:16:29,528 Watching it. 382 00:16:30,207 --> 00:16:32,172 It's really exciting. 383 00:16:32,737 --> 00:16:35,172 But yes, it looks shit right now, so fix that, 384 00:16:35,207 --> 00:16:37,906 and fast. Oh, and the title's crap. 385 00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:39,675 It needs a new name. 386 00:16:43,207 --> 00:16:46,172 THEY LAUGH 387 00:16:46,207 --> 00:16:47,944 Oh, my God! Oh, my... Oh, my... 388 00:16:47,980 --> 00:16:49,001 Oh, my God. 389 00:16:49,037 --> 00:16:50,335 Ha-ha-ha! 390 00:16:50,371 --> 00:16:51,691 Whoo! Ah! 391 00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:54,031 Drama. 392 00:16:54,207 --> 00:16:55,523 Tension. 393 00:16:55,559 --> 00:16:58,364 Drama in-built into everything. 394 00:16:58,596 --> 00:17:01,172 Including the chair. 395 00:17:01,207 --> 00:17:02,532 Remember, um... 396 00:17:02,567 --> 00:17:03,793 Mastermind? 397 00:17:03,968 --> 00:17:05,532 That set was designed by a chap 398 00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,650 who had been interrogated by the Gestapo. 399 00:17:10,832 --> 00:17:13,858 I want audio speakers inside the seat, 400 00:17:14,038 --> 00:17:16,203 vibrating with heavy sound, 401 00:17:16,405 --> 00:17:19,172 pulsating up through the contestant. 402 00:17:19,207 --> 00:17:21,119 Gah-gung, gah-gung, OK? 403 00:17:22,066 --> 00:17:24,031 Next, the lights. 404 00:17:24,067 --> 00:17:25,347 Darker. 405 00:17:25,968 --> 00:17:28,968 WHISTLING 'WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE' 406 00:17:35,207 --> 00:17:38,172 ♪ Who wants to be a millionaire? ♪ 407 00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:40,094 I do. 408 00:17:40,207 --> 00:17:42,207 APPLAUSE 409 00:17:44,887 --> 00:17:47,172 Hello and welcome to tonight's edition 410 00:17:47,207 --> 00:17:49,172 of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. 411 00:17:49,207 --> 00:17:51,759 All you have to do is call this number. 412 00:17:51,795 --> 00:17:55,524 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Thursday at eight, ITV. 413 00:17:56,207 --> 00:17:58,207 CAR PULLS UP 414 00:18:08,429 --> 00:18:10,786 - Come on, it's about to start! - What's about to start? 415 00:18:10,822 --> 00:18:13,532 That new quiz show that's been plastered everywhere. Adrian's here. 416 00:18:13,567 --> 00:18:15,852 Adrian, your brother? I thought it was our night in. 417 00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:19,172 Oh, sorry, it's just a thing that we do together, that's all. 418 00:18:19,207 --> 00:18:20,420 Come on, it's fun. 419 00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,062 Hello. 420 00:18:23,316 --> 00:18:24,439 Adrian? 421 00:18:24,823 --> 00:18:27,265 - Um... I brought pizza. - We already have pizza. 422 00:18:27,301 --> 00:18:29,929 - Your message said, "No pizza." - Yes, "No pizza." 423 00:18:29,965 --> 00:18:33,478 Yes, as in, "We don't have any pizza, no pizza, so bring pizza." 424 00:18:33,514 --> 00:18:37,172 No, no. "Pizza, we already have lots of pizza, don't bring pizza." 425 00:18:37,207 --> 00:18:38,372 Stop saying pizza! 426 00:18:38,713 --> 00:18:41,172 We're about to make television history. 427 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:47,172 For the first time on UK TV, we have a top prize available of £1 million. 428 00:18:47,747 --> 00:18:50,532 And it could be won here tonight. 429 00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:52,849 No tricks, no traps. 430 00:18:52,982 --> 00:18:56,982 Contestants can leave here tonight with big cash prizes. 431 00:19:00,501 --> 00:19:02,042 Two, tight in. 432 00:19:02,407 --> 00:19:04,321 Four, pull back. 433 00:19:11,121 --> 00:19:12,926 I'm gonna take the money, Chris. 434 00:19:12,962 --> 00:19:14,087 Just there. 435 00:19:14,152 --> 00:19:16,317 God. So dull. 436 00:19:16,407 --> 00:19:18,761 APPLAUSE 437 00:19:19,035 --> 00:19:22,000 It gives me so much pleasure 438 00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:26,585 to give you a cheque for £64,000! 439 00:19:26,621 --> 00:19:29,172 Come on. Why isn't it taking off yet? 440 00:19:29,207 --> 00:19:30,355 Where's the bloody tension? 441 00:19:30,391 --> 00:19:33,457 It's fine. It's fine, Paul, it just needs bedding in. 442 00:19:33,887 --> 00:19:34,904 Be patient. 443 00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:38,548 As Graham leaves with 64,000 smackeroonies. 444 00:19:38,697 --> 00:19:41,439 Good heavens. £64,000. 445 00:19:41,475 --> 00:19:43,172 That's ridiculous. 446 00:19:43,207 --> 00:19:44,666 Shh, yes, we know. 447 00:19:45,003 --> 00:19:46,198 Come on. 448 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,287 I'm not sure yet, you know. 449 00:19:48,323 --> 00:19:50,323 This all seems a bit dramatic. 450 00:19:51,887 --> 00:19:53,172 Let's see who got there quickest. 451 00:19:53,207 --> 00:19:56,526 The next fastest finger is Rachel Da Costa! 452 00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:57,692 Come on, come on. 453 00:19:57,727 --> 00:20:00,519 So, Rachel, what would you do if you won £1 million? 454 00:20:00,604 --> 00:20:05,172 I would clear all mine and my fiance's debts, 455 00:20:05,207 --> 00:20:07,801 sort out our business, buy a house and get married. 456 00:20:07,837 --> 00:20:08,744 Oh. 457 00:20:08,780 --> 00:20:10,172 You could get married tomorrow morning. 458 00:20:10,207 --> 00:20:13,172 The business isn't in a situation where we could do it at the moment. 459 00:20:13,207 --> 00:20:14,172 God, bless her. 460 00:20:14,416 --> 00:20:19,172 Well, you are only 15 questions away from winning £1 million, 461 00:20:19,207 --> 00:20:21,647 - so let's play... - Just insane. 462 00:20:22,207 --> 00:20:23,172 For £100... 463 00:20:23,207 --> 00:20:25,172 For £1,000... 464 00:20:25,207 --> 00:20:26,172 For £8,000... 465 00:20:26,207 --> 00:20:29,692 Oh, uh... Humphrey Bogart's cafe owner in Casablanca is... 466 00:20:29,727 --> 00:20:31,373 Sam, isn't it? "Play it again, Sam." 467 00:20:31,409 --> 00:20:33,172 No. Common misconception. 468 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,596 It's Rick. 469 00:20:34,632 --> 00:20:36,077 Definitely, the cafe owner. 470 00:20:36,113 --> 00:20:37,078 - Rick. - When did you last see it? 471 00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:39,085 I've never seen it, but, you know, 472 00:20:39,207 --> 00:20:41,570 you learn things, encyclopaedias, books. 473 00:20:41,606 --> 00:20:43,571 Might be nice to actually watch the films now and again. 474 00:20:43,607 --> 00:20:45,839 - Don't have the time. - Yeah, yeah, tricky. 475 00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:49,172 - I'll go for Rick. - Is the correct answer! 476 00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:51,172 You've just won £8,000! 477 00:20:51,546 --> 00:20:54,172 For £16,000, 478 00:20:54,207 --> 00:20:58,807 which English county has a border with only one other? 479 00:20:59,003 --> 00:20:59,968 Devon, 480 00:21:00,004 --> 00:21:00,969 Norfolk, 481 00:21:01,207 --> 00:21:02,172 Cornwall, 482 00:21:02,207 --> 00:21:03,212 Kent? 483 00:21:03,813 --> 00:21:05,441 God, look, she's shaking. 484 00:21:05,477 --> 00:21:07,584 - Why? - Cos she wants to get married. 485 00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:09,452 - Phone my dad. - Your dad? 486 00:21:09,488 --> 00:21:10,532 LAUGHTER 487 00:21:10,567 --> 00:21:12,172 PHONE DIALLING TONE 488 00:21:12,544 --> 00:21:13,532 Hello? 489 00:21:13,567 --> 00:21:15,426 Jack, uh... it's Chris Tarrant here. 490 00:21:15,462 --> 00:21:16,712 - Hello. - Hello, Jack. 491 00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:18,638 We've got your daughter live on the show. 492 00:21:18,674 --> 00:21:20,479 She has £8,000. 493 00:21:20,624 --> 00:21:22,749 That wedding's getting a little bit closer, 494 00:21:23,047 --> 00:21:25,172 but she's not quite there yet... 495 00:21:25,207 --> 00:21:26,532 Move in closer. 496 00:21:26,567 --> 00:21:27,692 Closer. 497 00:21:27,727 --> 00:21:29,692 - ...so no pressure. - I understand. 498 00:21:29,727 --> 00:21:32,670 The next voice you hear will be Rachel's. 499 00:21:32,886 --> 00:21:34,851 Rachel, talk to your dad. 500 00:21:34,887 --> 00:21:37,852 Which English county has a border with only one other? 501 00:21:37,888 --> 00:21:40,211 Devon, Norfolk, Cornwall, or Kent? 502 00:21:40,247 --> 00:21:41,510 I have no idea. 503 00:21:41,714 --> 00:21:43,359 GROANING 504 00:21:43,887 --> 00:21:45,172 Oh, my God. 505 00:21:45,207 --> 00:21:47,372 I'm sorry, Rachel, I can't help you on geography. 506 00:21:47,407 --> 00:21:49,172 Um... Give me again. 507 00:21:49,207 --> 00:21:52,172 Devon, Norfolk, Cornwall or Kent. 508 00:21:52,458 --> 00:21:54,172 Devon, Norfolk... 509 00:21:54,728 --> 00:21:56,509 Dad, help me. 510 00:21:57,638 --> 00:21:59,302 Take the eight grand, Rachel. 511 00:22:00,862 --> 00:22:02,253 I'll take the money. 512 00:22:03,207 --> 00:22:05,172 Oh. Let's give her a big hand, ladies and gentlemen. 513 00:22:05,207 --> 00:22:07,172 £8,000! 514 00:22:07,207 --> 00:22:08,172 APPLAUSE 515 00:22:08,207 --> 00:22:10,532 I mean, £8,000 is a very large amount of money. 516 00:22:10,567 --> 00:22:12,172 That wedding just got a little bit closer. 517 00:22:12,207 --> 00:22:14,953 Oh, Dad! 518 00:22:15,207 --> 00:22:16,657 Uh... 519 00:22:17,231 --> 00:22:19,406 Just before you go, 520 00:22:19,442 --> 00:22:22,612 uh... suppose you had answered, 521 00:22:23,207 --> 00:22:24,686 what would your answer have been? 522 00:22:25,479 --> 00:22:26,630 Cornwall. 523 00:22:26,727 --> 00:22:29,172 GROANING 524 00:22:29,207 --> 00:22:30,532 Pfft! HE LAUGHS 525 00:22:30,567 --> 00:22:32,172 - Oh, Rachel. - It's not funny. 526 00:22:32,207 --> 00:22:34,172 I'm sorry. You would have won £16,000. 527 00:22:34,207 --> 00:22:36,172 I'm sorry, but look, what am I saying? 528 00:22:36,207 --> 00:22:37,372 Oh, my goodness. 529 00:22:37,407 --> 00:22:39,172 It works. 530 00:22:39,207 --> 00:22:41,172 Oh, grow a pair, would you? 531 00:22:41,207 --> 00:22:42,372 We've got a hit on our hands. 532 00:22:42,407 --> 00:22:44,172 Ha-ha! 533 00:22:44,207 --> 00:22:46,172 Well, if you want to be in with a chance to play, 534 00:22:46,207 --> 00:22:48,207 all you have to do is call this number. 535 00:22:52,207 --> 00:22:54,207 PHONES RING 536 00:22:59,007 --> 00:23:01,007 PHONE RINGS 537 00:23:03,824 --> 00:23:05,789 All right, Claudia. Hit me. 538 00:23:05,825 --> 00:23:09,171 Hit you? Kiss you, marry you, more like. 539 00:23:09,207 --> 00:23:11,172 We got 9 million. 540 00:23:11,207 --> 00:23:13,567 9 million viewers! 541 00:23:16,827 --> 00:23:18,307 PHONES RING 542 00:23:23,204 --> 00:23:25,689 Nothing to say you can't try more than once. 543 00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:29,965 - Hello. - Hello. 544 00:23:30,001 --> 00:23:32,966 Hello and welcome to Celador and the Who Wants To Be... 545 00:23:33,002 --> 00:23:35,682 Hello and welcome to tonight's edition of... 546 00:23:37,596 --> 00:23:40,564 - Paul Smith. - 16 million. 547 00:23:43,898 --> 00:23:46,750 Walking away with a cheque for £8,000! 548 00:23:46,786 --> 00:23:49,300 £64,000! 549 00:23:49,621 --> 00:23:54,172 - £125,000. - Oh, my God. 550 00:23:54,915 --> 00:23:57,172 I'm going on! I'm going on the show! 551 00:23:57,207 --> 00:23:59,172 - Oh, my gosh! - Bravo! 552 00:23:59,207 --> 00:24:00,852 How many times did you have to call? 553 00:24:00,887 --> 00:24:02,172 I don't know. 554 00:24:02,207 --> 00:24:05,172 50, maybe? Anyway, and you can talk. 555 00:24:05,207 --> 00:24:06,395 Anyway, 556 00:24:06,699 --> 00:24:08,097 do you wanna be my guest? 557 00:24:10,207 --> 00:24:11,407 HE LAUGHS 558 00:24:16,395 --> 00:24:18,732 194 calls I made to get here. 559 00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:20,372 Arm and a leg it's costing me. 560 00:24:20,407 --> 00:24:23,006 Well, that's nothing. I did over 300. 561 00:24:23,042 --> 00:24:24,820 You just need a system, that's all. 562 00:24:24,856 --> 00:24:26,172 Not willy-nilly. 563 00:24:26,207 --> 00:24:28,172 Did you know that they publish the call volumes 564 00:24:28,207 --> 00:24:29,172 - on the website? - Website. 565 00:24:29,207 --> 00:24:31,172 Yes. You know, a few of us fans 566 00:24:31,207 --> 00:24:33,784 are starting to share a little bit of intel. 567 00:24:34,058 --> 00:24:36,575 You know, information here and there. 568 00:24:36,811 --> 00:24:39,776 If you're serious about this, and you have to be serious. 569 00:24:40,047 --> 00:24:41,795 I'm serious. Uh... 570 00:24:42,207 --> 00:24:43,871 We're serious. 571 00:24:45,207 --> 00:24:46,172 What? 572 00:24:46,347 --> 00:24:48,312 I could give you the number of someone who... 573 00:24:48,742 --> 00:24:49,900 sort of... 574 00:24:50,418 --> 00:24:53,139 helps quiz fans onto the show. 575 00:24:58,707 --> 00:25:02,413 CHRIS TARRANT: Put these days of the week into alphabetical order. 576 00:25:03,517 --> 00:25:06,297 Sunday, Wednesday, Monday, Thursday. 577 00:25:09,207 --> 00:25:11,852 And the person who was fastest was 578 00:25:11,887 --> 00:25:14,172 Maggie Pierce in four seconds! 579 00:25:14,207 --> 00:25:16,172 Well done, my darling. Come on up! 580 00:25:16,207 --> 00:25:18,172 APPLAUSE 581 00:25:18,207 --> 00:25:20,172 And the winner is... 582 00:25:20,207 --> 00:25:21,172 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! 583 00:25:21,207 --> 00:25:23,172 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! 584 00:25:23,207 --> 00:25:24,532 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! 585 00:25:24,567 --> 00:25:27,172 - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. 586 00:25:27,207 --> 00:25:28,212 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! 587 00:25:28,247 --> 00:25:30,172 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. 588 00:25:30,207 --> 00:25:32,172 CHEERING 589 00:25:32,499 --> 00:25:36,002 19 million. 19 million! 590 00:25:36,038 --> 00:25:38,172 That's one third of the population, Paul. 591 00:25:38,207 --> 00:25:39,532 Thank you, Claudia. 592 00:25:39,567 --> 00:25:40,616 Paul! 593 00:25:41,304 --> 00:25:43,429 Reception just said the Americans are here. 594 00:25:43,794 --> 00:25:45,212 Jesus Christ, it's ABC, 595 00:25:45,247 --> 00:25:46,761 which is Disney. 596 00:25:46,797 --> 00:25:48,592 It's owned by Disney. 597 00:25:49,207 --> 00:25:51,172 Basically, Mickey Mouse is coming up the stairs. 598 00:25:51,207 --> 00:25:52,172 Could you just... 599 00:25:52,605 --> 00:25:53,645 a little cool. 600 00:26:00,207 --> 00:26:01,580 Mr Smith. 601 00:26:08,113 --> 00:26:09,728 No, he didn't. He actually knelt? 602 00:26:09,764 --> 00:26:12,212 No, he did. He knelt on the floor. 603 00:26:12,247 --> 00:26:14,816 We've just sold entertainment to the Americans. 604 00:26:14,892 --> 00:26:17,172 That is entertainment to the Americans. 605 00:26:17,207 --> 00:26:18,955 The Americans! 606 00:26:19,207 --> 00:26:20,207 Hey-hey! 607 00:26:23,251 --> 00:26:25,125 The game show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire 608 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,821 has now been sold to multiple territories in the US. 609 00:26:27,857 --> 00:26:29,426 CEO Michael Eisner said, 610 00:26:29,462 --> 00:26:31,125 "Who knew that the fate of ABC 611 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,645 "would be saved by a little British game show?" 612 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,125 It's helped the ABC network 613 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,645 leap from fourth in the ratings war in the United States to first. 614 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,125 The millionaire show, 615 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:43,125 which has attracted audiences of 19 million in the UK, 616 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,563 where it's presented by Chris Tarrant... 617 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,211 Hello. 618 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:02,788 Hello. Paddy Spooner? 619 00:27:02,824 --> 00:27:04,091 Mr Spooner. 620 00:27:21,412 --> 00:27:23,263 You weren't followed? You came alone? 621 00:27:23,928 --> 00:27:26,939 Alone? No, you didn't say to come alone, I've brought my kids. 622 00:27:26,975 --> 00:27:27,975 You what? 623 00:27:28,873 --> 00:27:30,193 I've got my kids outside. 624 00:27:31,380 --> 00:27:33,448 You've brought your bloody kids. 625 00:27:34,841 --> 00:27:36,385 Do you know who I am? 626 00:27:38,044 --> 00:27:39,485 You're Paddy Spooner. 627 00:27:40,706 --> 00:27:42,569 You got in the chair three times, 628 00:27:42,605 --> 00:27:45,213 even though the rules say you can only sit in the hot seat once. 629 00:27:45,248 --> 00:27:47,043 No, three different versions. 630 00:27:47,079 --> 00:27:48,044 Three countries. 631 00:27:48,248 --> 00:27:50,966 Australia, Ireland, UK. 632 00:27:51,761 --> 00:27:52,978 They don't check. 633 00:27:53,342 --> 00:27:55,048 There's a lot they don't check. 634 00:27:56,619 --> 00:27:59,989 I've been working with some people. 635 00:28:01,107 --> 00:28:05,373 An underground, sort of, community has sprung up. 636 00:28:05,890 --> 00:28:10,160 Fans of the show that have grown into an unlikely resistance 637 00:28:10,411 --> 00:28:12,782 in the quiet little villages of England. 638 00:28:13,248 --> 00:28:15,213 The perfect place to plan our attack. 639 00:28:15,525 --> 00:28:17,213 Um... Attack what? 640 00:28:17,700 --> 00:28:19,213 The show, of course. 641 00:28:19,248 --> 00:28:20,814 Breaking into the show. 642 00:28:21,608 --> 00:28:23,213 In the world of quizzing, 643 00:28:23,248 --> 00:28:25,491 the man who has the questions may be king, 644 00:28:25,935 --> 00:28:27,900 but the man who has all the answers 645 00:28:27,936 --> 00:28:28,978 is God. 646 00:28:29,248 --> 00:28:32,573 To the nearest metre, how long is the Humber Bridge? 647 00:28:32,608 --> 00:28:34,489 - ...is the Mississippi River? - ...the Titanic? 648 00:28:34,865 --> 00:28:36,830 Of the thousands of people that call the hotline, 649 00:28:37,248 --> 00:28:40,213 the show selects a random 100 numbers 650 00:28:40,248 --> 00:28:42,213 to call back with a question 651 00:28:42,458 --> 00:28:45,673 that's all but impossible to get exactly right. 652 00:28:45,928 --> 00:28:49,213 How many months in total did Queen Victoria reign for? 653 00:28:49,248 --> 00:28:50,213 Months? 654 00:28:50,248 --> 00:28:51,413 Oh, heck. 655 00:28:51,697 --> 00:28:53,462 What the makers hadn't predicted was 656 00:28:53,498 --> 00:28:56,413 that people would do what they tend to do. 657 00:28:56,833 --> 00:28:59,009 - Hello, Paddy? It's Maggie. - Talk to each other. 658 00:28:59,045 --> 00:29:00,704 The "closest to" question is... 659 00:29:00,821 --> 00:29:05,213 The damn fools are using the same "closest to" questions 660 00:29:05,248 --> 00:29:07,737 in rotation time and again. 661 00:29:08,248 --> 00:29:10,221 All you need is a network. 662 00:29:10,693 --> 00:29:11,693 Or... 663 00:29:12,248 --> 00:29:14,213 as we call ourselves, 664 00:29:14,365 --> 00:29:16,002 The Syndicate. 665 00:29:19,248 --> 00:29:22,053 So, first trick is, when you get the call back, 666 00:29:22,088 --> 00:29:23,683 pretend you're not who you are. 667 00:29:24,248 --> 00:29:25,213 Pretend you're not in. 668 00:29:25,248 --> 00:29:27,209 This gives us time to prepare. 669 00:29:27,705 --> 00:29:30,213 PUTS ON DIFFERENT VOICE: Hi. I'm afraid Adrian Pollock 670 00:29:30,248 --> 00:29:32,213 won't be in until later tonight. 671 00:29:32,524 --> 00:29:34,253 Could you call back then? 672 00:29:34,462 --> 00:29:36,213 They always say yes, 673 00:29:36,427 --> 00:29:38,213 - then you call me. - Hello, Paddy? 674 00:29:38,248 --> 00:29:39,337 And I... 675 00:29:39,896 --> 00:29:41,142 mobilise. 676 00:29:41,935 --> 00:29:45,683 And if you know of any other potential clients 677 00:29:45,719 --> 00:29:47,564 that live too far away for me, 678 00:29:47,693 --> 00:29:51,124 I can always dispatch a separate Syndicate member 679 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,125 from one of my regional hubs. 680 00:29:53,751 --> 00:29:58,213 How many months in total did Queen Victoria reign for? 681 00:29:58,621 --> 00:30:01,253 I'm going to say 780. 682 00:30:01,288 --> 00:30:02,813 Once you're in the chair, 683 00:30:03,248 --> 00:30:07,213 there's a final highly bespoke service 684 00:30:07,248 --> 00:30:08,213 that we offer 685 00:30:08,561 --> 00:30:10,088 on your Phone A Friend. 686 00:30:12,248 --> 00:30:13,682 There's a room... 687 00:30:14,221 --> 00:30:18,306 - KNOCK AT DOOR - ...in London where we gather. 688 00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:21,213 The finest pub quizzers in the land 689 00:30:21,248 --> 00:30:25,248 secretly, silently, in solidarity. 690 00:30:26,248 --> 00:30:27,799 Now, you give the producers 691 00:30:27,835 --> 00:30:31,480 one of a dozen special numbers we have around the country, 692 00:30:31,828 --> 00:30:34,542 all diverted here, 693 00:30:35,248 --> 00:30:38,213 to this one phone. 694 00:30:38,671 --> 00:30:40,091 I want to phone a friend. 695 00:30:40,735 --> 00:30:42,225 All right. Uh... Who you gonna call? 696 00:30:43,036 --> 00:30:45,001 My cousin Geoffrey. 697 00:30:45,154 --> 00:30:47,694 Geoffrey? It's Chris Tarrant here from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. 698 00:30:47,730 --> 00:30:49,922 - Yes? - I've got your cousin Maggie here. 699 00:30:49,958 --> 00:30:52,088 I hope you're sat quiet and alone. 700 00:30:52,124 --> 00:30:54,833 The next voice you hear will be Maggie's. 701 00:30:55,475 --> 00:30:58,117 Geoffrey, which chemical element is named... 702 00:30:58,185 --> 00:31:02,670 All we ask is a modest 25%. 703 00:31:03,181 --> 00:31:04,181 Ah. 704 00:31:04,631 --> 00:31:05,796 Well, I... 705 00:31:05,865 --> 00:31:09,149 I'm grateful for all the hints and tips and things, 706 00:31:09,185 --> 00:31:12,232 but I'm not sure whether I would need such... 707 00:31:12,268 --> 00:31:13,545 Well, your services. 708 00:31:13,581 --> 00:31:16,208 I'm sure that when the time comes, 709 00:31:16,608 --> 00:31:19,248 you will make the right call. 710 00:31:25,723 --> 00:31:30,736 And the person who was fastest was Owen Masters in 4.2 seconds. 711 00:31:30,928 --> 00:31:33,088 THUNDER RUMBLES 712 00:31:44,896 --> 00:31:48,213 Put these vegetables in order of size from smallest to biggest. 713 00:31:48,603 --> 00:31:51,315 Onion, Brussels sprout, cabbage, pea. 714 00:31:54,248 --> 00:31:57,213 OK, let's see who got it right in the fastest time. 715 00:31:57,248 --> 00:32:00,408 It's Shelley Price in 3.1... 716 00:32:02,427 --> 00:32:05,744 5.6. Not good enough. Again. 717 00:32:08,755 --> 00:32:13,212 And the person who was fastest was Gus Colley in 4.5 seconds. 718 00:32:13,248 --> 00:32:15,248 APPLAUSE 719 00:32:20,717 --> 00:32:21,722 Yes! 720 00:32:23,088 --> 00:32:25,248 APPLAUSE 721 00:32:26,248 --> 00:32:27,213 Camera one. 722 00:32:27,248 --> 00:32:30,213 Right. This is Adrian Pollock. We've seen him before. 723 00:32:30,248 --> 00:32:32,554 It's his fourth time in the Fastest Finger seat. 724 00:32:32,702 --> 00:32:35,213 Fourth? How? Wait, what? 725 00:32:35,248 --> 00:32:37,718 - Yeah, I know, something's up. - I thought everyone is chosen random. 726 00:32:37,754 --> 00:32:39,074 And yet, there he is. 727 00:32:40,513 --> 00:32:43,213 Well, a coincidence, then, let's hope. 728 00:32:43,387 --> 00:32:46,483 Yeah, but is it me, or have they all started to look a bit... 729 00:32:46,997 --> 00:32:48,009 the same? 730 00:32:48,045 --> 00:32:51,213 All a bit white and well-to-do, 731 00:32:51,695 --> 00:32:54,213 middle classy and Southerny and... 732 00:32:54,248 --> 00:32:56,213 Adrian Pollock from Wiltshire. 733 00:32:56,411 --> 00:32:57,391 ...white. 734 00:32:58,821 --> 00:33:01,573 We'll have to tell Chris, cos it'll be weird if he doesn't mention it. 735 00:33:01,608 --> 00:33:03,100 It's four times. 736 00:33:04,013 --> 00:33:05,215 He won't be happy. 737 00:33:05,853 --> 00:33:07,533 Yeah, well, that makes two of us. 738 00:33:08,841 --> 00:33:12,652 Half of ten, third of nine, quarter of eight, fifth of five. 739 00:33:14,928 --> 00:33:19,213 Who's the fastest? Adrian Pollock in 4.3 seconds. 740 00:33:19,248 --> 00:33:23,213 Well, at least he can only play the actual game once, 741 00:33:23,693 --> 00:33:25,390 so we'll never have to see him again. 742 00:33:27,798 --> 00:33:29,213 You ready to play for £1 million? 743 00:33:29,248 --> 00:33:30,535 - Yeah. - Come on, then. 744 00:33:32,248 --> 00:33:34,049 So, um... you won't believe this, 745 00:33:34,085 --> 00:33:37,050 but this is actually Adrian's fourth time in the studio, 746 00:33:37,086 --> 00:33:39,051 but his first time in the chair. 747 00:33:39,248 --> 00:33:40,413 You've been here more than I have. 748 00:33:40,448 --> 00:33:41,698 - LAUGHTER - Well, you know, 749 00:33:41,734 --> 00:33:44,193 some people wanna jump out of planes and I just... 750 00:33:44,708 --> 00:33:46,213 This is what I want to do. 751 00:33:46,248 --> 00:33:48,213 You're a strange, sad, little man. 752 00:33:48,248 --> 00:33:49,253 LAUGHTER 753 00:33:49,668 --> 00:33:52,733 For 64,000, in the US and Canada, 754 00:33:52,868 --> 00:33:56,213 Labor Day is celebrated in which month? 755 00:33:56,443 --> 00:34:01,101 You've used your 50-50, you've just got left May or September. 756 00:34:04,651 --> 00:34:06,213 I will use my Phone A Friend. 757 00:34:06,357 --> 00:34:08,037 All right. Who you gonna call? 758 00:34:10,248 --> 00:34:11,248 Actually, um... 759 00:34:12,927 --> 00:34:14,459 Actually, uh... 760 00:34:15,083 --> 00:34:16,494 I was going to, um... 761 00:34:17,610 --> 00:34:19,413 I'd quite like to call my dad. 762 00:34:19,541 --> 00:34:20,781 Arthur. 763 00:34:22,508 --> 00:34:25,508 We, uh... Well, quizzes are a family thing, you know. 764 00:34:26,927 --> 00:34:28,543 PHONE RINGS 765 00:34:28,579 --> 00:34:30,413 - I bet it's him. - Oh, my God. 766 00:34:30,448 --> 00:34:32,413 Must be in the chair. Oh, my God. 767 00:34:33,042 --> 00:34:34,397 You ready? 768 00:34:35,315 --> 00:34:37,893 Is Uncle Adrian going to be a millionaire? 769 00:34:37,928 --> 00:34:39,125 Hello. 770 00:34:39,737 --> 00:34:43,252 Well, you have to be really clever for that, so we'll see. 771 00:34:43,631 --> 00:34:45,733 The most extraordinary thing has happened. 772 00:34:45,768 --> 00:34:47,213 You remember your son, Adrian? 773 00:34:47,248 --> 00:34:50,213 Well, he's finally made it into the chair, but he does need your help. 774 00:34:50,248 --> 00:34:52,573 Now, the next voice you hear will be Adrian's. 775 00:34:52,608 --> 00:34:54,503 Adrian, you've got 30 seconds. 776 00:34:54,539 --> 00:34:55,504 Go. 777 00:34:55,779 --> 00:34:57,975 Hi, Dad. In the USA and Canada, 778 00:34:58,011 --> 00:35:00,620 Labor Day is celebrated in which month? 779 00:35:00,982 --> 00:35:03,204 Is it May or September? 780 00:35:03,482 --> 00:35:04,482 Um... 781 00:35:05,579 --> 00:35:06,934 I think... 782 00:35:07,248 --> 00:35:08,213 May. 783 00:35:08,248 --> 00:35:09,213 If I had to guess. 784 00:35:09,248 --> 00:35:10,413 How sure are you? 785 00:35:10,448 --> 00:35:11,636 Ooh... 786 00:35:12,591 --> 00:35:13,596 50%. 787 00:35:13,729 --> 00:35:15,213 LAUGHTER 788 00:35:15,248 --> 00:35:16,248 Thanks, Dad. 789 00:35:17,768 --> 00:35:19,573 When's Labor Day in America? 790 00:35:19,757 --> 00:35:21,213 September, Dad. 791 00:35:21,537 --> 00:35:22,537 Oh. 792 00:35:24,070 --> 00:35:25,248 Oh, no. 793 00:35:26,608 --> 00:35:28,127 Oh, dear. 794 00:35:28,928 --> 00:35:30,248 What a shame. 795 00:35:31,788 --> 00:35:34,413 It's 32 grand, it's great. 796 00:35:34,448 --> 00:35:35,765 Thing is... 797 00:35:36,523 --> 00:35:37,815 The thing is... 798 00:35:38,013 --> 00:35:40,457 it doesn't quite cover the, uh... 799 00:35:40,989 --> 00:35:45,154 debts that the business is running at the moment and I, uh... 800 00:35:45,569 --> 00:35:47,199 Debts? You... 801 00:35:47,768 --> 00:35:50,213 You don't normally have debts, why didn't you say? 802 00:35:50,248 --> 00:35:54,626 Yeah, it's just this dot-com bubble nonsense and... 803 00:35:55,799 --> 00:35:58,598 I really thought I had a chance in that chair, you know. 804 00:35:59,248 --> 00:36:01,248 I mean, I invested a lot! 805 00:36:02,872 --> 00:36:04,337 What are you talking about? 806 00:36:19,331 --> 00:36:21,825 Holy mother of God. 807 00:36:23,248 --> 00:36:24,829 Adrian, what the... 808 00:36:26,773 --> 00:36:28,114 What is this? 809 00:36:28,806 --> 00:36:29,986 _ 810 00:36:32,996 --> 00:36:34,754 _ 811 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,213 Behold, 812 00:36:37,449 --> 00:36:39,135 the game changer. 813 00:36:42,248 --> 00:36:44,573 I made it. Fastest Finger First. 814 00:36:44,608 --> 00:36:45,733 To practice on. 815 00:36:45,895 --> 00:36:47,954 I don't know what to say. 816 00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:49,727 Is this cheating? 817 00:36:49,822 --> 00:36:52,947 - Certainly feels like cheating. - No, it's giving an advantage. 818 00:36:52,983 --> 00:36:54,183 To myself. 819 00:36:55,643 --> 00:36:57,866 And now to you, Diana. 820 00:36:58,248 --> 00:36:59,893 To carry on where I left off. 821 00:36:59,928 --> 00:37:01,232 But why would she want anything to do with it? 822 00:37:01,268 --> 00:37:02,268 Thank you. 823 00:37:06,663 --> 00:37:08,004 Mr Pollock! 824 00:37:10,180 --> 00:37:11,573 Adrian Pollock? 825 00:37:15,226 --> 00:37:16,202 Yes? 826 00:37:16,948 --> 00:37:19,485 When I saw you'd been on four times, I thought, no. 827 00:37:20,769 --> 00:37:22,550 That's not luck, that's something else. 828 00:37:22,769 --> 00:37:24,394 Yeah, but how did you find me? 829 00:37:24,448 --> 00:37:25,934 Electoral register, simple enough. 830 00:37:25,969 --> 00:37:28,641 Yeah, see, that... that's a bit creepy. 831 00:37:28,769 --> 00:37:30,360 Yeah. I have to get on. 832 00:37:30,396 --> 00:37:32,875 I don't know how, I don't know why, this... 833 00:37:32,911 --> 00:37:34,165 COUGHS 834 00:37:34,201 --> 00:37:37,734 ...this impulse took over me, but it's just in me. 835 00:37:38,385 --> 00:37:39,550 I have to. 836 00:37:39,586 --> 00:37:41,081 Please, please help me. 837 00:37:42,023 --> 00:37:43,734 I heard tell amongst the... 838 00:37:43,932 --> 00:37:46,058 the community that you built a machine. 839 00:37:46,094 --> 00:37:48,890 Yes. Well, my sister's got it, she's going on the show too. 840 00:37:48,926 --> 00:37:50,492 - Your sister's going? - Yeah. 841 00:37:50,769 --> 00:37:52,059 OK. Well... 842 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:54,185 Could you make another one? I'd pay you. 843 00:37:54,391 --> 00:37:56,651 People will pay you. 844 00:37:59,386 --> 00:38:00,970 Let me have your number. 845 00:38:01,769 --> 00:38:06,094 So, in the hot seat, we have Diana Ingram here with... 846 00:38:06,835 --> 00:38:10,351 I do believe I recognise your guest here tonight, 847 00:38:10,387 --> 00:38:11,734 it's your brother Adrian Pollock. 848 00:38:11,957 --> 00:38:13,414 I thought we got rid of you. 849 00:38:13,449 --> 00:38:15,002 But here you are. 850 00:38:15,119 --> 00:38:18,504 Again. Back in the studio for a fifth time. 851 00:38:19,105 --> 00:38:21,048 Still think it's a coincidence? 852 00:38:22,129 --> 00:38:23,457 Call the network. 853 00:38:23,769 --> 00:38:24,734 Now. 854 00:38:24,769 --> 00:38:27,934 Husband Charles, Major Charles, couldn't be here. 855 00:38:27,969 --> 00:38:29,053 He's at work. 856 00:38:29,367 --> 00:38:31,585 Charles and Diana, eh? Why does that sound familiar? 857 00:38:31,769 --> 00:38:32,734 LAUGHTER 858 00:38:32,769 --> 00:38:35,414 Like a fairy tale. Well, started as a fairy tale, didn't end as one. 859 00:38:35,449 --> 00:38:36,734 LAUGHTER 860 00:38:36,769 --> 00:38:38,787 Yeah, if you could fit us in tomorrow. 861 00:38:39,129 --> 00:38:40,325 We just... 862 00:38:40,969 --> 00:38:43,605 We do really think we may have a problem now. 863 00:38:46,620 --> 00:38:49,702 For £64,000... 864 00:38:50,289 --> 00:38:54,535 Who wrote the nonsense poem The Hunting Of The Snark? 865 00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:56,938 GK Chesterton, 866 00:38:57,584 --> 00:38:58,733 Hilaire Belloc, 867 00:38:59,334 --> 00:39:00,734 Edward Lear, 868 00:39:00,769 --> 00:39:02,305 Lewis Carroll? 869 00:39:03,202 --> 00:39:06,934 Remember, you don't have to play, you've got £32,000 and that's safe, 870 00:39:06,969 --> 00:39:09,769 whatever, and you do have a 50-50. 871 00:39:13,549 --> 00:39:15,734 Yeah, I'm going to play. Edward Lear, final answer. 872 00:39:15,769 --> 00:39:17,572 - Final answer? - Yes. 873 00:39:18,542 --> 00:39:20,376 You had £32,000, 874 00:39:20,769 --> 00:39:22,419 you kept back one lifeline. 875 00:39:23,473 --> 00:39:25,584 Desperately wanted to beat your brother. 876 00:39:27,769 --> 00:39:29,734 You've stayed at exactly the same place. 877 00:39:29,769 --> 00:39:30,734 GROANING 878 00:39:30,769 --> 00:39:33,094 Oh, it was Lewis Carroll. I'm sorry. 879 00:39:33,129 --> 00:39:37,945 But you do go away with a cheque for £32,000. 880 00:39:37,981 --> 00:39:40,466 - Not a bad day's work. - APPLAUSE 881 00:39:41,289 --> 00:39:44,100 A lot of money. That's £32,000. 882 00:39:44,136 --> 00:39:46,734 I mean, that's gonna be so useful. 883 00:39:47,144 --> 00:39:48,734 I mean, we could... Gosh, we could... 884 00:39:48,769 --> 00:39:51,269 I'm going to give Adrian some of it, 885 00:39:51,305 --> 00:39:53,270 just to help with the business, you know. 886 00:39:53,306 --> 00:39:54,709 Quite a bit of it. 887 00:39:55,769 --> 00:39:57,734 - 14 grand of it, actually. - Right. 888 00:39:57,769 --> 00:39:59,769 - Sorry. - Are you asking me or telling me? 889 00:40:01,511 --> 00:40:02,576 Right. 890 00:40:03,083 --> 00:40:04,734 Right. All right, yeah. Sure. 891 00:40:04,769 --> 00:40:06,123 Yeah, give him 14 grand. 892 00:40:06,355 --> 00:40:09,574 Hell, give him all of it. Why don't you give him one of the children? 893 00:40:09,609 --> 00:40:10,734 - Give him one of the girls. - What's going on? 894 00:40:10,769 --> 00:40:13,734 Congratulations, darling. We're giving you to Uncle Adrian. 895 00:40:13,769 --> 00:40:15,809 - Go and pack your bags. - OK. 896 00:40:17,769 --> 00:40:20,060 What was the line? "There's always three of us in this marriage." 897 00:40:20,096 --> 00:40:22,381 That's not fair. He's my brother, what else am I meant to do? 898 00:40:22,417 --> 00:40:23,382 Pff... 899 00:40:24,151 --> 00:40:25,558 I suppose I should tell you 900 00:40:25,594 --> 00:40:27,744 we're thinking of writing a book about the show. 901 00:40:27,933 --> 00:40:29,233 Just a little simple how-to 902 00:40:29,269 --> 00:40:31,234 with all the hints and tips and things we've learned, 903 00:40:31,270 --> 00:40:33,773 so we can pass them on to new contestants. 904 00:40:33,809 --> 00:40:36,603 - Just all that cheating stuff? - It isn't cheating. 905 00:40:37,403 --> 00:40:38,734 Yes, but is it cheating? 906 00:40:38,769 --> 00:40:43,734 I've asked Ruth Settle to join us, she's our head of PR at Celador. 907 00:40:43,769 --> 00:40:47,066 This is Nicola Howson, who's our head of press, to do likewise, 908 00:40:47,102 --> 00:40:49,663 because we can all agree that this is a flipping nightmare. 909 00:40:49,699 --> 00:40:50,699 I'll say. 910 00:40:50,735 --> 00:40:53,019 I saw it for the first time in a while last night. 911 00:40:53,055 --> 00:40:55,934 No offence. And OK, I'll say it. 912 00:40:56,129 --> 00:40:57,656 It was effing boring. 913 00:40:57,769 --> 00:40:58,885 No offence. 914 00:40:58,921 --> 00:41:00,387 The contestants are all... 915 00:41:01,012 --> 00:41:02,431 They all look and sound... 916 00:41:02,467 --> 00:41:04,432 Yeah, well, they all talk to one another as well. 917 00:41:04,468 --> 00:41:07,265 It's like they know each other and they're somehow... 918 00:41:08,134 --> 00:41:10,585 - helping each other. - Is that against the rules? 919 00:41:10,621 --> 00:41:12,586 It's against the spirit of the rules. 920 00:41:12,622 --> 00:41:14,753 They're getting on and they're getting bolder. 921 00:41:15,034 --> 00:41:18,643 Now, we think it almost feels like something's coming. 922 00:41:19,010 --> 00:41:20,933 We could start to cast it. 923 00:41:21,140 --> 00:41:23,733 Most shows cast the contestants based on interviews and... 924 00:41:23,769 --> 00:41:26,933 No, we swore that we'd never do that, we'd keep it democratic... 925 00:41:26,969 --> 00:41:29,148 You're saying it's already been hacked, 926 00:41:29,184 --> 00:41:31,733 that the network's most important asset is under attack. 927 00:41:31,769 --> 00:41:33,291 Well, this stops now. 928 00:41:33,327 --> 00:41:35,452 Find out who's doing it, how they're doing it, 929 00:41:35,488 --> 00:41:38,313 and please, stop them bloody doing it! 930 00:41:38,769 --> 00:41:40,000 I have to go. 931 00:41:40,769 --> 00:41:42,734 Disappear. Run away for a bit. Well... 932 00:41:42,983 --> 00:41:44,918 a while. I'm sorry. 933 00:41:45,194 --> 00:41:47,734 Oh, my God, no. Adrian, don't... 934 00:41:47,769 --> 00:41:49,734 I just need to come up with a way to... 935 00:41:49,769 --> 00:41:50,934 to pay everyone back. 936 00:41:51,289 --> 00:41:53,089 Well, what about my 14 grand? 937 00:41:54,362 --> 00:41:56,327 I don't bloody believe it. 938 00:41:56,363 --> 00:41:59,574 OK. OK. Now, apart from us, who do you owe money to? 939 00:41:59,610 --> 00:42:00,575 Uh... 940 00:42:00,769 --> 00:42:03,734 It's people like Jill and Michael from the Rotary Club. 941 00:42:03,965 --> 00:42:05,930 - There's John. - John?! The butcher? 942 00:42:05,966 --> 00:42:08,734 Oh, for heaven's sake, I thought you meant gangsters, Adrian, 943 00:42:08,769 --> 00:42:10,365 people who'd break your thumbs, 944 00:42:10,401 --> 00:42:12,366 not the butcher, the baker and the candlestick... 945 00:42:12,402 --> 00:42:13,732 Just send them a text! 946 00:42:13,768 --> 00:42:15,734 Well, it's not your reputation, is it?! 947 00:42:16,004 --> 00:42:18,734 What about your responsibilities? Your family? 948 00:42:18,769 --> 00:42:21,210 They'll understand, I'll call them from... 949 00:42:21,557 --> 00:42:23,890 wherever I am. I'll explain. 950 00:42:23,926 --> 00:42:26,284 Come on, Adrian, it's really bad form. 951 00:42:26,962 --> 00:42:29,398 Here's some of the people from the community I've been talking to. 952 00:42:29,434 --> 00:42:30,486 They're yours now. 953 00:42:30,522 --> 00:42:31,487 Oh, God. 954 00:42:31,933 --> 00:42:33,061 I can't... 955 00:42:33,097 --> 00:42:34,325 What about our book? 956 00:42:34,361 --> 00:42:36,994 Well, then, you finish it, Diana! You don't need me, you never have. 957 00:42:38,316 --> 00:42:39,982 You've always been the strongest. 958 00:42:41,769 --> 00:42:43,072 I'm sorry. 959 00:42:46,669 --> 00:42:47,669 DOOR SLAMS 960 00:42:50,417 --> 00:42:51,720 It'll be OK. 961 00:42:52,510 --> 00:42:53,829 He'll be OK. 962 00:42:58,869 --> 00:43:00,134 You must go on. 963 00:43:00,385 --> 00:43:01,608 Onto the show. 964 00:43:02,605 --> 00:43:05,570 I've been on, Adrian has, it's... 965 00:43:05,606 --> 00:43:06,769 it's your turn. 966 00:43:10,069 --> 00:43:11,848 It's my turn, is it? 967 00:43:11,884 --> 00:43:13,237 To join the family business. 968 00:43:13,665 --> 00:43:15,263 I'd warned you, I... 969 00:43:15,299 --> 00:43:17,264 These mad schemes! 970 00:43:17,769 --> 00:43:19,426 I don't even like quizzes. 971 00:43:19,769 --> 00:43:22,734 The way you've been moping about, weeks after your turn came and went, 972 00:43:22,769 --> 00:43:24,734 d'you know how dispiriting that is, Diana, 973 00:43:24,769 --> 00:43:28,060 to know that the only happiness you get is from a bloody game show? 974 00:43:28,096 --> 00:43:30,094 That isn't fair, that is... It just isn't true. 975 00:43:30,207 --> 00:43:31,529 It couldn't be further... 976 00:43:31,565 --> 00:43:33,897 - And everyone has hobbies, Charles. - Pfft! 977 00:43:33,933 --> 00:43:35,898 - PHONE RINGS - And I didn't want to bring this up, 978 00:43:35,934 --> 00:43:36,934 but... 979 00:43:37,339 --> 00:43:38,984 - Let the machine get it. - Well, we have, 980 00:43:39,020 --> 00:43:40,839 as a family, rather... 981 00:43:41,628 --> 00:43:43,529 followed you around wherever you went. 982 00:43:43,565 --> 00:43:45,700 Happily, I might add, willingly. 983 00:43:46,294 --> 00:43:49,240 But now we, now I need you. 984 00:43:49,374 --> 00:43:52,499 ...Charles Ingram. I'm calling you from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. 985 00:43:52,769 --> 00:43:53,934 We're delighted to let you know 986 00:43:53,969 --> 00:43:55,774 that you've been selected by our computer 987 00:43:55,809 --> 00:43:59,399 to take part in our qualifying round of "closest to" questions. 988 00:43:59,435 --> 00:44:04,435 Give us a call back on 0909 8790 555. 989 00:44:07,988 --> 00:44:10,893 I may have already started calling and leaving your name. 990 00:44:19,238 --> 00:44:22,523 What happens next is easy to dismiss as simply exciting television. 991 00:44:22,769 --> 00:44:23,734 High drama. 992 00:44:23,769 --> 00:44:26,037 A bit of harmless fun that got out of hand. 993 00:44:27,140 --> 00:44:29,733 But ignore the lights, ignore the sound. 994 00:44:29,769 --> 00:44:30,734 COUGHING 995 00:44:30,769 --> 00:44:33,734 Unbelievable! 996 00:44:33,769 --> 00:44:35,328 This is theft. 997 00:44:35,769 --> 00:44:37,094 Plain and simple. 998 00:44:37,389 --> 00:44:40,874 An attempt to steal £1 million. 999 00:44:41,537 --> 00:44:44,734 We have all the evidence and all of the testimonies. 1000 00:44:44,769 --> 00:44:46,934 But as we go through quite how they did it, 1001 00:44:46,969 --> 00:44:49,254 beat by impossible beat, 1002 00:44:49,289 --> 00:44:50,934 oh, you'll be shocked, yes, 1003 00:44:50,969 --> 00:44:53,573 perhaps even impressed a little... 1004 00:44:54,319 --> 00:44:56,284 ...but you will be left in no doubt 1005 00:44:56,769 --> 00:44:59,026 that they are guilty of a crime. 1006 00:44:59,523 --> 00:45:01,986 A crime that carries with it 1007 00:45:02,534 --> 00:45:04,780 time in prison. 1008 00:45:05,289 --> 00:45:07,449 - APPLAUSE - All right? 1009 00:45:08,869 --> 00:45:10,130 All right? 1010 00:45:14,769 --> 00:45:15,809 COUGHS 1011 00:45:18,906 --> 00:45:21,734 Right, Major Charles Ingram, 1012 00:45:21,769 --> 00:45:23,094 are you ready to play... 1013 00:45:23,129 --> 00:45:26,226 DRAMATIC THEME 1014 00:45:26,769 --> 00:45:30,769