NETFLIX PRESENTS
-You're right. I'm sorry. -I know.
-I'm sorry. -I know I'm right!
Could you please speed up?
Can you tell me?
Honey, I told you already, please.
No, you told me fuck all! And what you said was bullshit.
Would you mind your own fucking business?
Honey...
You could have called me.
Like, "Honey, I'll be late."
You got back in just enough time to leave, so...
There was a new supplier who insisted we tried
some Argentinian prawns.
-There are no prawns in Argentina. -Of course there are.
He also wanted us to try some panga fish from Vietnam
and the Pacific yellowfin tuna.
You couldn't dump him, but you could have called.
Fine.
-I could have told you, but I didn't. -Why didn't you?
I made a mistake. I am sorry.
Can you pay?
-It's 40 euro. -Yes.
Why did you turn your phone off?
I turned it back on again, didn't I?
No, wait. Why did you turn it off again?
Honey, mobile phones have a button which turn them off and on.
That's why it's there. You turn them off and on accordingly.
Oh, I see! So at that time you chose to turn it off.
Honey, I was in a boring meeting with the suppliers.
I hope you at least fucked one who's clean.
Thank you.
Come on, if that's how we're starting off,
I'd rather not go to the Maldives. I won't even board.
I timed it, you know.
From when it was turned off until I got the message
that it was back on again, it was 33 minutes.
Thirty three minutes before your dinner with the suppliers.
-Please, honey-- -Then nothing for two hours.
-Where the fuck was dinner, in a bunker? -I told you, at Maestrale's.
-Really? Show me the receipt. -Yes.
There's no receipt. You know they pay for those dinners.
I also called you. It rang twice, and you rejected the call.
-No. -Then nothing again till 3:00 a.m.
No, I did not reject your call.
I turned the phone on to tell you I'd be late.
As soon as I turned it on,
your name came up because, as usual, you had called me continuously.
And then as soon as it was on, the battery died,
so I couldn't talk to you.
-Firstly, I don't call you continuously. -No?
No. Maybe I was worried, and I needed something.
Secondly, since when do we sell fish in Vietnam?
Honey, that's right. We don't sell it. We buy it.
All panga fish come from Vietnam.
When they say perch fish, it's panga. Everyone knows it.
-I didn't know. -Fine.
So what the fuck did you do till 3:00 am?
Honey, I told you.
-We had a few drinks, all of us. -Where?
In a rundown bar. I can't remember the name.
You can't remember? Of course you can't!
In your tale, there's only a gap of three hours.
-Honey... -Yeah, honey.
Honey!
Come on, honey! We can't travel like this.
Come on. I beg you.
Would I cheat on you before we leave for Maldives?
Look at me.
Let's go.
-Row five. -Thanks.
Excuse me? It doesn't shut.
-What's up? -I can't pull it up. Excuse me?
-Yes? -I can't…
It was a little stuck there.
Thanks.
Sleeping already?
I'm scared of flying. It's better if I can't see.
TOUCH ID OR INSERT CODE
So you know, suddenly, there was radio silence.
She didn't call me anymore, just vanished.
I just felt bad.
You won't believe it, but I felt bad. I was down. That's the truth.
It doesn't matter whether you're married with kids or not…
You know, it's-- Giulia?
-Ice cream? -Yes, please.
-Yes. -I'll have some.
The truth is that, at some point, you feel like you've found a balance.
And say, "Okay, I feel balanced.
I'm good. I've got my normal life."
And then suddenly, you get that...
I don't know, that feeling of...
A strange need, a feeling… I don't know how to explain it.
That feeling of...
That feeling of.
-Feeling of what? -That feeling.
You mean,
if she had stayed…
you would have left Giulia?
Of course not, Lisa! How can you think that? No way!
Are you joking? Leave Giulia? Never! No. I love Giulia.
-Giulia, are you coming? -Yes, I'm coming.
I love her like I loved Virgina. Remember? The problem is they don't last.
Luckily. Otherwise, they'd pile up. One on top of each other.
-Have you heard from Marcello? -Who?
-Carlo's cousin. -Let him talk.
-He did. -Let him finish.
The truth is...
"If ever a man betrays the one he loved…
-He only betrayed her five minutes." -That song!
He's citing Julio Iglesias...
How can you do that? How can you... handle this so naturally?
What?
Your wife is there, and you talk about it nonchalantly--
Are you having a go at me?
I've known you for 15 years. I'm opening up.
Shut it.
Are you married with kids? Can't you be faithful like everyone?
Look at him.
What's so funny? Why are you laughing?
He makes me laugh with the faces he pulls.
Do you know couples who, after ten years of marriage, haven't fooled around?
Yes, of course. Us, for example.
Well, sure. Absolutely.
I meant to say other than you.
-Here it is. -Except for you. Sure.
There you go!
-Did I miss anything? -No, sweetheart. You didn't.
Not at all. I was just talking about the past.
-Okay. -About her ex-boyfriend.
Nicola is right,
maybe there isn't a couple who's been faithful for ten years.
-No. -Ten years?
Ten years is a long time.
Well, yes.
Listen, if anything had happened, I wouldn't get mad.
Mad for what? What?
If you told me you cheated, I wouldn't get mad.
-What are you talking about? -Look at me.
-Lisa, don't call me by my name. -Look at me.
-Do I look mad to you? -What?
-Do I look mad? -No.
I'll ask you just one thing.
Promise me that you'll never talk about me to your pals like Nicola does.
What are you saying? Give me the keys. Let's go.
-What you did is okay. -What did I do? Are you crazy?
-You tell me! -Nothing.
-Look at you. -Why?
You're cooler now than ten years ago. My girlfriends think you're handsome.
I don't care
if you dipped your wick elsewhere from time to time.
Wick?
-What are you saying? Keys now. -I just want to know.
Why do you keep on?
-Give me the keys. -Are we going home?
Let's go home, and I'll tell you. Come on.
You'll tell me the truth.
-Hi! Hey... -Hi.
-Has he been good? -He's already asleep.
-Okay. Thank you. Can you pay her? -Sure.
-Thanks, Alice. -Thanks.
-Bye. Goodnight. -Bye. Goodnight.
-What's that? -Fancy a drink?
Let's go to bed, it's late.
Come on...
-Oh my God. -I'm listening.
I don't think it's a good idea.
Let's go to bed. I'll take a half day tomorrow.
I'll take the afternoon off.
-I'll come home and we can talk. -No.
Oh, God.
Fine.
The weekend you stayed at Tarquinia because Vittorio had measles.
It wasn't measles. It was mumps.
-Was it mumps? -Yes.
-And? -Okay.
Now you know.
What do I know?
-Everything. -Everything what?
-Are you joking? -Why?
Because I want to know more, I want the details.
I want to know where it happened. With who?
So?
Where did you meet her?
I don't know, in a bar. I was drunk as well...
Then we all came back home for a night cap.
And she was just in the house. Maybe she'd sneaked into the car.
I mean, I wasn't really going around looking for it.
-She was here. -Pretty?
-What? -Pretty?
I can't say because I don't really…
recall her clearly.
I'd like a name.
I don't know. No. I wouldn't remember that.
-Give me a name. -What...
Roberta, I think. I guess Roberta.
Roberta what?
Roberta Fabbri. Fabbri Roberta.
Roberta Fabbris.
-Have you met her again? -No.
Do you hear from her?
Why not if she's attractive?
Yes, okay. Yes, we met, Lisa.
-We met. -How many times?
One? Four?
Sixteen? Six months? One year?
-Enough times. -Enough times. How many times?
Enough for it to be an affair.
So now it turned into an affair?
Really?
Was it you that ended it?
And said, "Let's end it here. That's it."
Were you the one who'd had enough?
Didn't she feel bad?
What does this have to do with it? Why are you interested?
-I mean a girl like that... -Like that what?
You know what I mean. Roberta Fabbris.
There's no S, just Fabbri.
A bar and I can see her dancing and smiling.
No.
I like her. Who introduced you?
-Nobody. -It's nobody now.
-Nobody means nothing. -It means nobody.
What was she doing, walking in the night, and knocked at your door?
I don't know. She must have left the bar and followed the pack,
like animals do. Something tribal maybe. The smell?
-How do I know? -Who was in this pack?
Were there any of your friends? Any of mine?
I've been quite discreet, okay? Nobody saw us, okay?
-How discreet? Tell me. -Where are you going?
Come.
By discreet do you mean… that our friends were on the couch?
And you were sitting here in front of them?
Fucking her in front of them?
Who was there?
-Tell me! -Why? Give me my phone. Give me…
If you won't, I'll call all your friends.
And then? You get mad at them because of a fuck?
Give me my phone.
You're losing your temper.
What are you doing?
-What are you throwing? -I'm cleaning.
No!
You fucked her here, didn't you? You fucked her here on the couch, right?
You fucked her here? Tell me.
-Keep it down, the boy's sleeping. -Tell me.
What's your problem,
that I fucked her here in front of everyone?
If it was in a hotel or a car with newspapers on the windows
-it would've been okay? -Yes.
Is that different?
I've been with a woman who could comfort me,
because back then we made love once a month.
-I wish it was once a month. -Well, was it my fault?
Are you saying it's my fault? Are you telling me it's my fault?
Do you really think I was just after a fuck?
Or was it because since Vittorio was born we haven't been a couple?
We've never been a couple again.
Do you want the truth, Lisa? Do you?
Do you want to know why? Two reasons.
Do you want to know both?
First.
I like pussy.
What can I do?
I'm a man. It's an ancestral thing.
Like they say, "Men are hunters and women are gatherers."
Men hunt and bring food. Women pick up and cook.
Men are like that. They need to spread the seed.
We're cannon fodder. That's it.
-You're a shit, Mauro. -That's the second reason.
I am a piece of shit.
And you've never realized. Never.
What was so special about her?
Nothing.
Nothing. Simply, she wasn't you.
That's all.
-I'm going. -Where?
-I'm taking him with me. -What?
Oh God, Lisa. I'm not feeling well.
Here it comes.
It feels like a weight here.
Oh, my God...
-Oh, my God... -No.
I'm the one not feeling well.
I feel better now, but it was awful. Look.
Let go of my arm, please.
Can we talk for two minutes?
We can't throw away ten years of marriage. We can take two minutes.
-Just two minutes. -Hurry up.
Shall we have some herbal tea to calm down?
Fuck off.
I don't know, Lisa. I don't know.
I felt clever. I wanted to show off.
What?
Who did I want to show off to? And what?
Because that's how I feel. I feel like a bald man with a big belly.
I feel full of worries, Lisa.
-We all have worries. -Yes, but I have real problems.
I drag myself to work every day.
I haven't mentioned it, I want to keep you out of it and happy.
As you see, things come up anyway.
And then New York… that killed me.
Not being able to take you to New York,
it was the last straw.
-What does that have to do with it? -What do you mean?
It was your biggest dream. We arranged it and planned it,
and I couldn't do it.
This made feel useless, totally...
With Vittorio I felt frightened. I said to myself,
"What kind of father am I?"
So I questioned my parental skills too. It's a mess, Lisa.
And that's why…
you decided to fuck a little slut.
Well, it's not that I fucked a slut.
It's that I felt flattered by the attention.
You know, those three messages a day made me feel good.
Lisa, I have something terrible to tell you.
Still?
I really liked being liked!
I think this has been good for us.
I love you, Lisa. I really do. I truly do.
Don't you think we can transform what's happening to us?
And that we are strong enough to disentangle…
this narcissistic mess?
I have no right to be mad at you.
I can't judge you.
Do you know why?
No. Why?
Because I've done the same thing.
Because you think the same thing?
No. I've done the same thing.
You've done the same thing.
What do you mean you've done the same thing?
Let's go, honey.
What do you mean, "I've done the same thing."
Oh, Lisa, but...
Oh, Lisa!
But with who?
Leave it, please. It would be a bad idea.
-Was it your idea or not? -I just needed to tell you.
It was wrong, but at least we're even.
We're even my ass. Even what? It's different!
-Come on. -What?
-I'm here listening. I'm all ears. -You've already said it all.
Did I do anything stupid? Yes. For your same reasons.
-Let's go to bed now. -It can't be for my same reasons!
Can't it? Why not?
Because I'm a man, and you're a woman. I hunt and you...
What did we say? You gather.
-Really? -I give and you take. Yes.
Because when you women fuck,
there's always something deeper, because you're romantic. You...
You take. We give... Even the action is different!
Is that what you think? Any more stereotypes?
They're not stereotypes! It's the law! It's just the way it is!
But fuck off, Lisa.
Fuck you!
But fuck you... I know you. You fell in love. Look at me.
You're not the type to fuck around.
No. You're too cerebral, you are. You're in love with an asshole.
Look... I can't believe it.
You have revealed it, haven't you?
You've revealed it. I can't believe it.
Do you realize that only three minutes ago
I was crying, nearly on my knees. Can you see that?
-And so you should have done. -Lisa, you're a slut.
You're a shit, Mauro.
I'm sorry, Lisa.
I shouldn't have called you slut. I'm sorry. You're a wonderful woman.
-Still here? -I'm really sorry.
Who was he?
-It doesn't matter -Yes, it does.
Tell me at least one thing, Lisa. I beg you.
Tell me that he wasn't bigger than me. Tell me.
Tell me that it's better with me. That it always has been.
Please?
This is important for me. It's vital.
Could you please tell me, gently?
Maybe using the right words?
What were you saying before? Weren't you saying to leave it all behind?
Whose words are those? Not mine.
Can you answer me? Was he bigger than me?
It's just… It's important to me.
Why aren't you answering? Is it because that's how it is?
Mauro, stop it.
What a tragedy.
Why did you tell me?
-Mommy. -Sweetheart.
Vittorio, go back to bed, please. Mom and Dad are talking. Go.
Are you still together?
-Bye, I'm going. -Bye, honey.
Bye, sweetheart.
-Will you be back for lunch? -No. I'll see you tonight.
Remember to take Vittorio to the dentist.
Sure.
-Where did this come from? -Ah, that one…
My dad wanted to have it framed.
It's lovely.
Bye, sweetheart.
See you, Dad.
Drink your juice.
The Rizoma Group...
is planning its objective for the first three months
with an increase of 9,4 million,
also thanks to its salesmen, like Favini,
a real leading salesman...
who has been assigned the productivity award.
You can find, of course, specific organic nitrogen fertilizers,
but their prohibitive cost makes their use impractical.
This is possible
thanks to the Rizoma group, which I thank for their attention
during these two days.
And I wish you a productive year and a...
fertile one!
Excuse me, do you have a cigarette?
I'm sorry, I only have four left.
-Good morning. -Good evening.
Oh, yes. That's right, good evening. It's 7:00 p.m.
-Julia. -Julia.
Julia. Spanish?
-Basque. -Ah, okay.
What are you doing in Italy?
An internship through my Hotel Management School.
Lovely. Beautiful, the famous Basque Country.
-Do you know it? -Un poquito.
Listen, Julia...
Do you have cigarettes here?
No, I'm sorry. We don't sell cigarettes.
Okay.
Julia, how is it being so far from home?
Isn't it sad? Don't you miss your amigos?
-Or your… corazón? -I don't really have a boyfriend.
You don't have a boyfriend? Okay...
Right, carpe diem.
-It's good to gain experience-- sure. -A moment.
Green Park Hotel. This is Julia.
Just a moment, I'll check.
GREEN PARK HOTEL PAMPHILI
Hola, ¿qué tal?
¿Hola?
-Evening. -Evening.
Excuse me...
The girl who was... here before has gone…
Gone.
-Because your shift is… -I'm on night shift...
And so she...
She's on day shift.
-Got it? -Yes.
-Thanks. That's very kind. -You're welcome.
I'm taking this as I don't…
Let's be honest.
As for hot girls, it's not well stocked here, is it?
You're right.
Anyway, I scored with the receptionist.
Really?
I don't want to be the bearer of bad news,
but I think Favini got there before you.
-Who? -Favini, the best salesman of the year.
He also won the productivity award.
Well… we know why he won it.
No.
He won it because he's a great salesman. Better than you, for sure.
Maybe even better than me, though I hate admitting it.
Cristina? Sorry.
You can only take four each. It says it on the menu.
Right. And so?
You have six.
Okay... there.
-Now there are four. Happy? -Okay.
The management will be glad.
Are they still up?
HOT CLUB
Go to bed, girls. It's late.
Yes, Daddy loves you too.
ERROR: INVALID CODE INSERT CODE, MENU
Yes, it was okay, but…
I'm glad I'm back in my room, honey.
No. I'm writing...
the report on this year convention, as usual.
Honey, come on, let's go to bed. I'm exhausted.
Bye, me too.
Yes. Good evening.
I'm trying to access the extras.
Ah... really...
I could give you my credit card number,
and I can pay the extra charge.
No?
Well, I thought it was possible. No?
Yes… I understand.
That's okay.
RUDY PARTY IN ROOM 319
Hey! Little vodka.
He's here.
She takes that too...
No, sister.
What's written up there?
That's an old one. I know it. It's the one about the nun.
Hey.
You've got the rhythm in you.
So there's this guy… who dies…
He has a good job, a really good job.
An incredible career, and--
and he dies for no reason and then…
he dies and flies to Heaven, right?
So he gets to Heaven, and…
Heaven is just like we imagine it, right?
It's all white, with angels with wings…
He gets to Heaven, and says…
Oh God. How was it?
Oh, yes! Yes!
He says, "No! I want to talk to Saint Peter.
I want to know why I died."
Then Saint Peter arrives and says, "All right, my friend, calm down.
You can't come here and cause trouble."
'Cause Saint Peter says, "What the fuck…"
No, he doesn't say that. But… Wait a minute.
The end is great fun. Trust me.
He says, "Hey, calm down!"
-And he says, "Why did I die?" -Sorry.
I don't mean to kick you out, but I'm worn out.
I was just telling… okay.
Bye, thanks.
-It was nearly the end. It's funny. -Bye.
Hey... hi.
-Were you asleep? Did I wake you up? -No.
-It's okay. -Who is it?
No one, it's just Lorenzo.
Ask him if he has a cigarette. Hi, Lollo.
-Hey. -Have you got a cigarette?
-I just have three left. -That'll be enough.
Bye.
Yes, good evening. I am sorry.
I am looking for the room number of Ms. Lorusso, Cristina.
Yes.
Hey, did I wake you up?
-I was about to go to bed. -How's your pussy?
I mean your room? How is it? Do you have a nice view?
It faces the parking area, so…
Good. You can keep an eye on your car.
Well, we came by bus. You were there too.
Fancy a drink?
No, thanks.
Come on. You can't say no to some cold prosecco.
Sorry about before, when we were having a drink.
I was a bit bored.
And I'm even more bored now.
Come on, I was just joking!
Have you been working for this company for long?
I started in 1996. It'll be 16 years on the 23rd of October.
-I'm 52, so… -Oh, really?
I didn't think you were 50. I mean you don't look 50.
-Do you oversee the area of Marche? -No, not all of it.
I'm in charge of the Northern area, more or less…
Sorry. From Ascoli…
No, sorry. From Pesaro to Ancona because…
My wife and I have been together for 14 years, so…
You know, after a while things change. They're not like they used to be.
We've also had some difficult times, but…
Can I ask you something?
Yes.
-Can I use the toilet? -Yes.
Thank you.
The truth is that after so many years, I don't know…
I've changed. She's changed.
We're so used to each other.
There's no more passion. The fire's gone out.
I still feel the need...
to have… a…
a date.
To feel that spark again...
that you get with someone new.
That fire, that passion that comes from the unknown.
The truth is that my wife is not really…
Outgoing?
That's right. Yeah.
Outgoing, that's it.
There are two beds.
-No. Definitely not. -Look, I'd be there by myself.
-Come on! -No. No way.
So now we're going to bed because it's just bedtime.
-Okay. A little kiss then. -Thanks.
-Let's say goodbye then. -Yes.
No!
Come on, stop it... No!
-No, really, look… -Sorry, I slipped.
-I didn't do it on purpose. -Listen.
Listen.
-Look, let's not spoil everything. -No. Let's not spoil it.
That's right. It's what I mean. Don't spoil it, we're good.
-No? -No.
Come on...
-No. -Are you sneezing?
-Are you married? -Yes.
It'll be 11 years on December 18th.
I mean, in 11 years it must have happened sometimes, something…
-Like a little affair. -No, never!
Look, enough now, please. I really need to go to bed, I'm tired.
Carpe diem, for fuck's sake,
We had prosecco. We're good. We're cool.
Come on, we're doing great. The best is yet to come.
No, this is just time for bed now. I can assure you.
Okay.
I sleep here.
No, you're not understanding. We're going to sleep, yes,
but in our own rooms.
Come on.
-Come on. -Come on…
I beg you, I feel lonely.
I'm telling you now. You go to bed and sleep tight.
Get a good sleep and tomorrow we chat on the bus.
Come on.
Will you sleep with me?
But why me?
Well...
What's this?
I LOVE YOU
I'm sorry. Maybe I went a bit over the top.
Were they enough?
I LOVE YOU
I'm coming.
Julia!
¡Hola! ¿qué tal, todo bien?
-Sorry, I'm late. -Okay.
Okay.
Excuse me. Sorry.
Sorry.
A big beast, this bus.
-Is it a long time that… -A long time what?
Almost all onboard.
Where are you from?
-Moldova. -Beautiful.
-Do you know it? -No.
-Then don't speak. -I was just saying.
Well, don't say.
How many horses?
DO NOT TALK TO THE DRIVER
Okay.
Excuse me?
I need to apply for a change of address.
I am sorry, boss.
Good morning, ma'am. How can I help?
-I need to change my address. -Yes.
-Here. -Do you have all the papers?
-Yes. -Can I see them?
How was work?
Good.
Don't you like it?
What? Yes! No…
-Aren't you eating? -I've eaten. I have to finish some work.
I need to hurry up, or I'll be late for the game.
BASKETBALL RESULTS
Hi, honey.
-Hi, honey. -How are you?
Are you still working?
-How was the game? -Good.
We won.
Hello?
Of course it's late. Why are you calling at this time?
Mais je vous ai dit que j'étais en train de travailler.
Yes, next week.
J'espère. Je fais de mon mieux.
Okay. See you.
Are you ready?
I'm sorry, honey, but I have to finish this job.
Shall we reschedule?
No, you're ready now. You can go, honey. Don't worry.
-Are you sure? -Yes.
-Okay. Bye. -Bye.
-Are you sure? -Yes, it's fine here.
Here in the middle of nowhere? I can take you home.
It's okay. Don't worry.
-Who is he? -It's my father.
-So? -He gave me a lift home.
Oh my God, you're going to catch a cold!
Honey?
Yes?
-Shall I cook you something? -No, thank you, honey.
I'll have a sandwich on the way. I'm late.
So why don't you stay?
I told you it's an important game. I can't miss it.
Don't worry, I'll come and get you.
Paolo, listen...
-How much for one? -It's five euro.
How many are there? Five…
-Is 20 okay? -Yes, that's fine. I'm happy.
-Thanks. -Thank you very much.
BASKETBALL RESULTS
Hello, honey. How was the match?
Good.
We won.
In the evening, the leader of the opposition released a denial.
And to finish, the sports news.
Good news for basketball fans.
After a night in hospital,
serious injuries have been ruled out for Dragomir.
The player had lost consciousness after a serious injury during the game,
which had to be suspended by the referee.
The game is due to be played on a future date to be confirmed.
On to the football now.
This weekend Serie A is back playing following the international break.
If I were you, I wouldn't lean on there.
You have no idea what kind of filth they get up to here.
So? Can you be quiet, please?
Rest.
Who called you? Is there anyone at the attorney's office?
Yes, Dr. Giani is here.
I don't see her anymore.
Where are you going?
I told you. I have a business dinner. You're off to the game, aren't you?
Yes.
How was the game?
Good.
We played really well.
It was a great evening.
Could I have my husband's room key, please?
Sorry, we don't have keys here but magnetic cards.
-Can I have the magnetic card? -What's your room number?
I don't know. I can't remember.
I got lost, and he had my card.
-Who is he? -My husband, I told you.
Don't you have your card?
-No, I didn't get one. -We always give two.
I'm telling you I haven't got one.
How many times do I need to tell you? Look, glasses, handbag, wallet. That's it.
Listen…
My husband has a congenital heart condition.
He said he'd be here in ten minutes and he's not.
He's not answering his phone.
If something bad happens to him, I'll be holding you responsible.
-Can you tell me where our room is now? -Ma'am, I'm not authorized to--
What's your name? I want the manager.
-Can you get the manager? -One moment, ma'am.
-Let's try to find a solution, okay? -I hope so.
Under what name is the booking?
Here's my maiden and married name. Look up for the last one.
Here it is.
-The number is on there. -Thank you. Bye.
-Third floor. -Bye.
Have a good day.
Yes. How can I help?
Good morning, Valeria.
Beautiful like always.
She's upstairs packing.
I told her not to marry you, but she didn't listen.
Silvia.
Honey?
-Are you leaving? -Yes, I am.
I'm going to my mom's, and I'm taking the dog too.
And why are you leaving?
-Where are you going? -Why am I leaving?
It's not us who'll be leaving. You will be leaving this house.
You have one week. One.
After that, I want you and all your stuff gone. Is that clear?
Are you crazy?
Am I crazy?
You mean I am crazy?
You have an invisible blow job whilst driving,
you fuck a slut in a hotel room, and I am the crazy one?
-Aren't you ashamed? -What are you talking about?
What are you saying?
What invisible blow job?
I left the office five minutes ago. Ask my secretary.
Just talk to my lawyers.
-I'm off. My mom's waiting for me outside. -Silvia.
I'm worried about you. You scare me.
You are crazy.
You're… seriously mad.
You have the nerve to say this, you shit?
I saw you with my own eyes.
And what do you do?
Instead of going after me and say,
"Honey, it's not what you think. I can explain."
Nothing. You keep doing what you please.
I'll ruin you, Carlo. I swear to God, I'll ruin you.
I'll take you to the cleaners.
My dad was right when he said, "Don't marry that gold digger.
Once he marries you, he'll be living off you."
It wasn't me.
You're crazy. Silvia, you're not well.
You are a bastard and a dirty liar.
What liar? It wasn't me!
-I saw you in that hotel! -It's not true!
You must have been dreaming!
So if that's true,
if it's like you say, let's go to this hotel and see.
-Let's check it out. -Check what?
What shall we check?
They should have some record.
If I was there, there will be a record somewhere.
I can't believe you're so stupid.
I'm not stupid. I'm telling you the truth.
Leave this bag. Let's do this.
If this will make you believe…
that I'm not talking bullshit. Let's go there.
Let's go. Take me to this hotel. Show me where it is.
Slow down.
-Slow down, a bend! Silvia, please. -I decide when to slow down, okay?
Are you trying to kill us?
Look, you were there.
-You were there. -I never go this way.
-It's impossible. -You were distracted.
The satnav must have distracted you.
Because now there are satnavs that don't just show you the way,
they suck you off too.
And how was it? Was it good?
Tell me. How was it?
This blow job…
Invisible, yes…
So where is this mysterious, invisible hotel?
-It's this way, right? -How do I know?
I don't know where we are.
What a son of a bitch you are…
-Can you slow down? -Again?
Here we are. We've arrived.
Come.
Where? Where are we going?
Don't you remember being here? You must have parked here.
Maybe there. Where did you park?
I've never been here before.
I've never seen this place before.
Don't worry, you'll remember it now. Come.
Can you wait for me, please?
I'm sorry, guys. We need the elevator.
Sorry, but it's out of service on this floor.
But… he was in there three hours ago.
Impossible. We've been working on it for three days.
It's the mechanism that's blocked.
Here.
Anyway, the stairs are over there. They always work.
-Let's get the stairs. -Silvia.
Silvia, this is getting embarrassing now.
Please, wait!
I think you've won the bastard of the year award.
Silvia, please, let's not make a scene here too.
Good evening both. Room for two?
Have you got a reservation? I have a junior suite free…
No. Good evening, I need to speak with your colleague.
-Sorry, who? -Your colleague.
The Asian guy who was here in the morning.
I'm here in the morning. My shift ends at 6:00 p.m.
Invisible colleague.
Listen...
Could you please check your database
if Mr. Del Gallo has been here in the last 24 hours?
-Here in this hotel. -I'm sorry,
but I cannot do that because of the privacy policy.
Whose privacy? Yours? Or his?
Or maybe we should talk about my privacy.
-My privacy, right? -Ma'am, please. Calm down.
I'm not fucking calming down. Call your manager.
Look, I'm Mr. Del Gallo.
Carlo Del Gallo. Here's my ID.
Could you please help the lady here?
-Lady my ass. -Precisely.
-I really-- -It's me asking you,
so there's no privacy issue.
-Ma'am, I really… -Go ahead, please. Do me a favor.
-Trust me. -Do it.
Thank you.
-Your husband has never been here. -Excuse me?
-Finally. -I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry. It says there, "I've never been here."
Listen, I'm sorry.
We've checked that out, and we're leaving now.
-We'll get out of your way. -Double check.
Double check what? Look, don't worry.
-We're off now. Thanks. -Don't touch me. You're disgusting.
-You're a bastard. -Sir?
-Excuse me? -Don't worry. It's okay.
Where are you going? Silvia, wait!
So? What floor is it? Fifth? Fourth?
-Third! -Third.
We can't really do this. Do you understand?
-It was room 326. -I can't believe this.
-I'll show you now. -Silvia. Please, Silvia.
We've caused enough trouble here.
What are you doing?
No, sorry.
It's a mistake.
-Yes, this was the room. Please, honey. -I'm sorry.
The room is occupied. This is embarrassing.
It looks like her. You're not in the room.
-There's people there. -You have to tell me.
Why can't you tell me? Tell me!
-You're not well. Honey… -Tell me!
Tell me! You bastard! Tell me!
Honey… What is it? Calm down, please.
Honey… What's wrong?
Ma'am?
-Silvia? -Ma'am?
-What's the matter? -Ma'am?
Call an ambulance, please. Now.
Stay still, please. Don't move.
-So, doctor? -I'm not a doctor,
-and you're not allowed here. -Sorry, but… how's my wife?
You have to speak with the doctor.
Okay, but say something. You can't leave me like this.
-You can talk to him now. -What is it?
I'm sorry, doctor. I just want to know how my wife is.
The scan didn't show any anomalies.
Luckily.
Maybe your wife is having a stressful time?
Yes.
I'd tell you not to underestimate stress.
It's a real problem.
I'm sorry, doctor, but…
Could this also cause… hallucinations?
It can't be ruled out.
If you'd like my advice,
I'd say your wife needs complete rest.
You can easily find specialized clinics.
She can really relax there
and be supervised by doctors.
-Really? -Yes.
Honey, did you hear what the doctor said?
It's nothing serious. Nothing to worry about.
You just have to keep going like before.
Twenty-four…
Let's make it 25.
Here.
Thank you, honey.
Romy!
Oh, my God, Romy!
-Good morning. -Good morning.
-Welcome. -Thank you.
I'm sure your wife will feel good here.
The peace and quiet and sleep therapy will perform magic.
I'm sure of it. Agree, darling?
Bye.
This way.
-Goodbye. -Goodbye.
Hey...
Hello.
Bye.
-So? How do I look? -Goodbye. Thank you.
-You look wonderful. -Thank you
-I have a little surprise for you. -Where?
Look.
Oh, my God, she's lovely!
Honey, she doesn't know you. That's okay.
-She looks the same. -Just like Romy, I know.
That's why I got her.
-How shall we call her? -Nastassja.
Like Kinski.
-Nastassja. -Nastassja.
Good evening, sir.
-Good evening, Marcello. -What a nice surprise.
-Your wife is back. -Good evening.
-Shall I help you? -No, thank you.
We're back.
Good morning, Mr. Del Gallo, your laundry.
-Straight to 326? -Yes, of course.
Pleasure, sir.
-Thanks for the elevator. -Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
Silvia?
Honey?
Silvia?
Honey.
Honey, I can explain. Believe me. It's not what you think.
He's got nothing to do with this.
He doesn't mean anything.
He who?
Okay. Last one there pays.
-Okay? -No, but...
Let's go!
Without running.
That's not fair!
We have a booking for three under the name Zordini.
Why do you always give my name?
-Zordini, three people. Right? -Yes.
Great.
-Shall we follow? -I'll take you to your table.
What did he tell him?
Don't eat bread. You'll spoil your appetite.
Wait for your food.
I'll tell you something, then deny it. I'll never mention it again.
Okay.
-Good evening, gentlemen. -Hello.
Can I get you some water? Sparkling or still?
-Still. -Sparkling.
-Just give us the wine list. -What were you saying?
-Champagne? Vedova or Frate? -Frate.
-You're paying. -Why?
Because you arrived last.
So? What were you saying?
I would screw them all, 90% of the women in this restaurant.
-I would screw them all. -Would you?
-Ready to order? -A question.
-How many is the Plateau Royal for? -Four.
We'll have it in three.
-Any drinks? -Dom Perignon.
Great choice.
I need to add, without even having seen them.
Really? Without even seeing them?
-Blindfolded, yes. -Me too.
What?
Without even seeing them. Bravo!
-Come on... -Sir.
Perfect.
I'll do that, thanks.
-Leave it. -Please, sir.
-I say please. -Sir, let go, please.
Let go!
-It's a matter of principle. -Principle.
-Trust me. -Thanks.
Thank you.
Actually, not just 90% of women in this restaurant
-but in the world. -Really?
So when you say 90%, do you really mean 90%?
-What's wrong with 90%? -I just want to understand.
Because if it's 90%, that includes our wives.
Yes, that's true, Lorenzo. Sure.
Okay. So you would screw my wife.
Sure.
I mean you'd screw-- Did you hear what he said?
-What's wrong with what he said? -That he'd screw my wife.
-Ask him why then, and open this too. -Why?
To protect you.
From what?
Listen. You like me, don't you?
What do you mean?
-As a man, as a person, do you like me? -Yes. Or I wouldn't be your friend.
Would you want your wife to screw a stranger, an intruder,
someone you don't know, who might be an asshole.
-What's that got to do with it? -It has. Answer me.
It doesn't make sense.
It does make sense.
What you mean?
If I screwed your wife, she'd be safe with me.
-Safe? -Yes. And so would you.
Yes, that is true. You'd be much safer with him.
Let's not be hypocritical or sexist.
"Yes for men, no for women."
-Yes, it's the same for women. -It is.
But what's the same for men and women?
-The percentage, it's simple math. -No, it's not math. It's statistics.
Well, okay. If it's statistics, then why can't I be in that 10%?
-What the fuck are you laughing for? -It's too late for that.
Do you know anything?
-No, I don't. -You? No.
It's too late for all of us, especially for you.
-It's late now. -Late for what?
-You're late. It's too late. -Why?
-There you go! Beautiful. -Great! Bravo.
Great!
You're the best!
Anyway, the thing is, if you think about it,
we get loans to buy bigger houses,
to buy the latest phones, a new car,
we pay for our children to learn English, and all this for what? What?
Why? I'm asking you.
For what?
For her.
Her.
For her.
-For her? -Which one?
Her.
No, not her!
-Why? -What do you mean why?
He's saying that when we screw someone,
we're screwing ourselves, you see.
We just screw ourselves. Right?
No, we screw those of us who are screwing her.
-That's narcissism. -That's it.
No, 'cause Narcissus hated himself.
True. He threw himself into the sea.
No… the sea?
-No, it was a lake. -Lake?
The lake, he was miserable. A miserable one who hated risks…
-What risks? -Risk of failing.
So we're depressed…
-You definitely are. -You are.
Look there.
-What is it? -Look who's coming.
Since you like being so precise, it was a pond, anyway.
-What? -It was a pond, anyway.
-Yes. -See?
I would go with someone like her.
I fancy the one in the red dress better.
No, not me.
Subtitle translation by Roxana Cretu