1
00:00:17,458 --> 00:00:18,625
感覺是不是很棒？

2
00:00:19,458 --> 00:00:21,291
一年中最美好的時候

3
00:00:22,250 --> 00:00:27,500
讓我告訴你我最喜歡的耶誕佳節故事

4
00:00:28,583 --> 00:00:30,750
那是耶誕節前夕

5
00:00:30,833 --> 00:00:32,750
在全市各地

6
00:00:32,958 --> 00:00:37,083
復仇者聯盟在對抗一股全新的超級勢力

7
00:00:37,666 --> 00:00:40,166
煙囪上掛著耶誕襪…

8
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,750
再也沒有了

9
00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:43,750
索爾呢？

10
00:00:51,625 --> 00:00:55,250
對，你可能在想這個人是誰

11
00:00:55,333 --> 00:00:57,875
或許我該開始話說從頭

12
00:01:00,666 --> 00:01:02,166
（漫威影業呈獻）

13
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:04,291
時間

14
00:01:07,708 --> 00:01:08,708
空間

15
00:01:10,375 --> 00:01:11,458
現實

16
00:01:14,333 --> 00:01:16,125
並不是線性關係

17
00:01:20,916 --> 00:01:25,500
而是個有無限可能的稜鏡

18
00:01:27,916 --> 00:01:31,541
單一個選擇就能衍生出無數現實

19
00:01:34,166 --> 00:01:37,125
創造出全然不同的平行世界

20
00:01:41,041 --> 00:01:42,375
我是觀察者

21
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:47,625
我會引導你穿越浩瀚的新現實

22
00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:52,916
跟我來，推敲問題的無限可能…

23
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,375
《無限可能：假如…？》

24
00:01:56,458 --> 00:01:57,666
假如…？

25
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,625
好，我們再來一次

26
00:02:07,291 --> 00:02:12,000
那是事發前兩小時，大樓尚未起火

27
00:02:12,083 --> 00:02:17,083
往左…不，太左邊了，停…

28
00:02:18,666 --> 00:02:20,958
麻雀一號呼叫海雀二號，聽到了嗎？

29
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:22,250
這裡發生紅色警戒

30
00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:25,375
黛西，我說過老賈在進行磁碟重組時

31
00:02:25,458 --> 00:02:27,166
這條線路僅供緊急使用

32
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:29,375
通話時請叫我麻雀一號，老闆

33
00:02:29,458 --> 00:02:31,833
真的是紅色警戒狀況，外燴人員到了

34
00:02:31,916 --> 00:02:35,041
我卻只看到起司塊和紅蘿蔔條

35
00:02:35,125 --> 00:02:37,375
表演節目呢？熱狗堡呢？

36
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:40,166
黛西，你想拿到學分嗎？聽我說

37
00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:42,333
我不是第一次辦復仇者聯盟佳節晚會

38
00:02:42,416 --> 00:02:44,625
好啦，瞭解，海雀二號

39
00:02:44,708 --> 00:02:47,250
等等，為什麼我是海雀？如果我是二號

40
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,333
-誰是一號？
-會計部的伯納

41
00:02:50,125 --> 00:02:51,458
太傷人了

42
00:02:51,541 --> 00:02:55,583
我能給你火雞一號、火鶴六號
還是長尾鸚鵡？

43
00:02:55,666 --> 00:02:59,375
我有更棒的點子
指定一項特殊任務給你

44
00:02:59,458 --> 00:03:01,333
酒漬櫻桃快沒了

45
00:03:01,416 --> 00:03:03,416
東尼的熱托迪雞尾酒一定要加

46
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:06,083
我不知道熱托迪要加櫻桃

47
00:03:06,166 --> 00:03:07,708
你肖想擺脫我

48
00:03:07,791 --> 00:03:10,250
我只是想清靜一下

49
00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:12,750
你們造價五千萬，不能小心點嗎？

50
00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:14,208
一切順利嗎？

51
00:03:14,916 --> 00:03:18,791
希爾局長，你打扮得很有節慶味道

52
00:03:18,875 --> 00:03:21,583
既然老賈在關機維修中…

53
00:03:21,666 --> 00:03:24,708
我想跟你談一下，提供幾個訊息

54
00:03:24,791 --> 00:03:26,291
關於升級我們的威脅矩陣…

55
00:03:26,375 --> 00:03:28,875
也許你該交給專業維安人員處理

56
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:30,375
我就是專業維安人員

57
00:03:30,458 --> 00:03:32,666
我要你專注在今晚的宴會上

58
00:03:32,750 --> 00:03:34,958
老鷹一號…指揮中心找你

59
00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:36,958
-馬上過去
-老鷹一號？

60
00:03:37,041 --> 00:03:39,333
這場佳節晚會很重要，霍根先生

61
00:03:39,416 --> 00:03:42,750
經過這一年，人們需要理由慶祝

62
00:03:42,833 --> 00:03:44,958
我指望你把它辦好

63
00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:46,000
是，長官

64
00:03:48,458 --> 00:03:50,166
耶誕歌單

65
00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:55,583
光明節歌單…
瑪麗亞凱莉耶誕歌曲循環重播，搞定

66
00:03:56,958 --> 00:03:58,875
祝大家…

67
00:04:00,291 --> 00:04:01,916
索傑，你擋到我了

68
00:04:04,708 --> 00:04:10,000
或許這是賈斯汀漢默大鬧耶誕節的故事

69
00:04:10,791 --> 00:04:15,125
這個腐敗的國防承包商
差點炸毀史塔克博覽會後

70
00:04:15,875 --> 00:04:18,416
他發覺自己上了危險人物名單

71
00:04:18,666 --> 00:04:20,333
經過一番思考與反省

72
00:04:20,416 --> 00:04:21,833
（機械科學季刊）

73
00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:23,583
好好地…

74
00:04:23,666 --> 00:04:24,916
（科學兄弟：他們想創造什麼？）

75
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,416
思索他的未來

76
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:32,666
或許在這個宇宙
賈斯汀漢默的時間太多了點

77
00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:39,375
我們死定了

78
00:04:39,458 --> 00:04:41,166
拉斯提，麻煩拿來給我

79
00:04:41,250 --> 00:04:42,458
他們怎麼進來的？

80
00:04:42,541 --> 00:04:45,250
我叫拉斯登連尼瓦契斯拉夫

81
00:04:45,333 --> 00:04:47,541
所以我們用拉斯提就好

82
00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:48,583
（程式上傳中）

83
00:04:49,125 --> 00:04:50,958
各位…聽好

84
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,833
保持冷靜，保持安靜

85
00:04:52,916 --> 00:04:56,375
我保證你們能回家過節

86
00:04:57,208 --> 00:05:00,375
耶誕節不能哭

87
00:05:00,458 --> 00:05:02,666
我七歲的時候

88
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:05,750
我最想要的禮物就是BB槍

89
00:05:05,833 --> 00:05:08,166
我求我爸媽，我求耶誕老人

90
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:11,125
舌頭不小心黏在電線桿上

91
00:05:11,458 --> 00:05:13,541
那不是經典電影的劇情嗎？

92
00:05:13,625 --> 00:05:15,166
對，有人腿檯燈那部

93
00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:19,083
閉嘴，但那年我沒得到BB槍
知道為什麼嗎？

94
00:05:19,875 --> 00:05:20,791
（上傳完成）

95
00:05:20,875 --> 00:05:25,250
因為這是美國，想要什麼就自己想辦法

96
00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:34,208
老賈停擺五分鐘，整棟大樓就亂七八糟

97
00:05:44,541 --> 00:05:45,541
老闆？

98
00:05:45,666 --> 00:05:49,166
放輕鬆，重設指令協定，設定新目標

99
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:50,291
（鋼鐵軍團，控制設定）

100
00:05:50,375 --> 00:05:52,208
「鎖定現場人員」聽起來不錯

101
00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:53,166
什麼？

102
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:54,083
（歡迎：賈斯汀漢默）

103
00:05:59,416 --> 00:06:01,541
幹掉他們，霹靂五號

104
00:06:01,916 --> 00:06:04,500
黛西女王往下望

105
00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:08,625
史帝夫羅傑斯的盛宴，當雪花…

106
00:06:08,833 --> 00:06:10,625
老鷹一號

107
00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:15,416
-好，各位
-漢默？

108
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:19,291
這些門後有照射過伽瑪射線的抗原血清

109
00:06:19,375 --> 00:06:20,333
浩克之血

110
00:06:20,416 --> 00:06:22,958
-可說是羊水…
-好噁

111
00:06:23,041 --> 00:06:26,666
能誕生下一個超級英雄，我

112
00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:28,791
我已經比10個東尼史塔克還聰明

113
00:06:28,875 --> 00:06:32,250
很快就能比12個美國隊長更強壯

114
00:06:33,291 --> 00:06:34,583
我們開始吧

115
00:06:34,666 --> 00:06:35,916
沒問題

116
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,541
拜託，你想幹嘛？

117
00:06:37,625 --> 00:06:39,125
你說你能開保險箱

118
00:06:39,208 --> 00:06:41,041
對，現在來砸開保險箱

119
00:06:43,208 --> 00:06:45,791
我就知道該找蘇科維亞團隊

120
00:06:45,875 --> 00:06:47,291
希爾，請回答

121
00:06:47,375 --> 00:06:50,583
-東尼的實驗室有三名敵人
-本來以為他們會先突襲軍械庫

122
00:06:50,666 --> 00:06:52,625
東尼在用班納的血做實驗

123
00:06:52,708 --> 00:06:55,583
看他能否成為沒有情緒問題的浩克

124
00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,291
-他成功了嗎？
-那要一段過程

125
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:58,250
我走了

126
00:06:58,333 --> 00:07:01,500
這下不妙，好…

127
00:07:01,583 --> 00:07:04,000
拿到血清再通知我

128
00:07:04,083 --> 00:07:06,916
我去坐東尼的寶座了

129
00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:09,416
我不會沖水，如果你們懂我的意思

130
00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:12,416
是漢默，他要去上東尼的廁所

131
00:07:13,541 --> 00:07:16,291
-霍根，你能拿到樣本嗎？
-可以，我有辦法進去

132
00:07:16,375 --> 00:07:18,208
很好，我來抓漢默

133
00:07:21,458 --> 00:07:22,625
正中要害

134
00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:29,291
東尼說辦場佳節派對一定很好玩

135
00:07:29,375 --> 00:07:30,625
怎麼會出問題呢？

136
00:07:30,708 --> 00:07:33,750
我說通風管會是維安漏洞

137
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,500
沒人聽快樂的話

138
00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:47,291
看看這酒吧，我的天啊

139
00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:48,250
我超愛

140
00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:52,625
手舉起來，漢默

141
00:07:52,708 --> 00:07:54,250
乖乖投降

142
00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:58,625
你擔心的日子終於來了

143
00:07:58,708 --> 00:08:00,625
與東尼史塔克

144
00:08:00,708 --> 00:08:03,208
最大對手正面對決的日子

145
00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:06,375
最大對手？你是富人稅嗎？

146
00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:09,125
沒用？

147
00:08:09,208 --> 00:08:10,625
你的技巧不對

148
00:08:10,708 --> 00:08:12,583
背部多用力

149
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:15,041
不是靠手臂，靠臀部

150
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:18,875
好，我懂了

151
00:08:21,958 --> 00:08:23,541
好，來看一下

152
00:08:25,291 --> 00:08:27,541
在哪呢？浩克之血…

153
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,250
浩克之血…

154
00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:32,000
到底在哪…

155
00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:33,833
想想看…小瓶子

156
00:08:34,541 --> 00:08:36,541
快樂，找到浩克之血…不

157
00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:41,000
你聽到了嗎？

158
00:08:47,458 --> 00:08:48,375
抓住了

159
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,833
-停
-你的笑話

160
00:08:51,916 --> 00:08:53,333
無法對付跆拳道

161
00:08:53,416 --> 00:08:55,250
-柔術和泰拳大師
-換頻道

162
00:08:57,416 --> 00:08:58,416
對

163
00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:01,208
-我學過監獄打架技巧
-天啊

164
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,041
都在監獄操場

165
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,291
也許是老鼠

166
00:09:05,375 --> 00:09:08,000
知道我在牢裡學到
最重要的事是什麼嗎？

167
00:09:08,083 --> 00:09:09,041
願聞其詳

168
00:09:09,125 --> 00:09:11,375
贏家才會作弊

169
00:09:14,708 --> 00:09:15,541
不，瑪麗亞

170
00:09:20,708 --> 00:09:23,666
化身為黑影…飄忽的黑影

171
00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:29,416
你們看得見我吧？

172
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,791
對，看得見

173
00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:33,166
老闆，逮到保全了

174
00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:36,333
好聰明，你以為你能騙過漢默？

175
00:09:37,416 --> 00:09:40,166
-回來
-浩克之血，我只要浩克之血

176
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,833
你能跑去哪？

177
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:45,208
快啊，怎樣才能找到一管班納的血？

178
00:09:45,291 --> 00:09:46,125
浩克…

179
00:09:46,791 --> 00:09:48,000
五彩碎紙箭？

180
00:09:48,083 --> 00:09:51,416
拜託，東尼，你預約鷹眼來生日趴？

181
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:54,000
浩克之血，找到了

182
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:58,166
好，我應該領危險津貼才對

183
00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:04,333
不！怎麼會這樣？

184
00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:06,583
讓開，小精靈

185
00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:12,958
這下不妙

186
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:17,500
這下不妙

187
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:18,666
漢默

188
00:10:19,625 --> 00:10:21,166
全力射擊他

189
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:26,291
-那邊…快去
-回來

190
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:30,208
為咖啡因上癮的瘋狂科學家工作
就學到這個，看招

191
00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:39,500
停…你們會毀掉浩克之血

192
00:10:39,583 --> 00:10:40,833
有毛病啊？

193
00:10:42,958 --> 00:10:43,875
真實用

194
00:10:44,416 --> 00:10:47,083
別管我說的，去抓他，快

195
00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:49,166
快樂，我的腿斷了

196
00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:51,958
沒關係，我的腿夠我們兩個用

197
00:10:52,041 --> 00:10:54,083
快樂？我都靠你了

198
00:10:54,166 --> 00:10:57,041
是他嗎？我超級血清裡的蒼蠅嗎？

199
00:10:57,125 --> 00:10:58,833
阻止漢默，拯救大樓

200
00:10:59,583 --> 00:11:01,208
瑪麗亞…

201
00:11:02,208 --> 00:11:05,041
這下你倒楣了，小姐

202
00:11:05,125 --> 00:11:08,875
把她銬起來，我受不了她一直從中作梗

203
00:11:10,708 --> 00:11:14,625
好，現在都靠我了…

204
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:17,083
現在都靠我了

205
00:11:31,916 --> 00:11:32,875
（團隊合作）

206
00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:34,833
對，團隊中沒有自我

207
00:11:34,916 --> 00:11:35,875
（娜塔莎羅曼諾夫）

208
00:11:35,958 --> 00:11:37,416
什麼？不…

209
00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:46,291
-羅曼諾夫，快樂，我不方便講話
-娜塔莎？

210
00:11:46,375 --> 00:11:50,458
一個殺過17人的前九頭蛇探員
正拿槍指著我

211
00:11:50,541 --> 00:11:52,625
18人，你忘了奈及利亞

212
00:11:52,708 --> 00:11:54,291
那是你？愛現

213
00:11:55,541 --> 00:11:56,791
要我幫你找救兵嗎？

214
00:11:56,875 --> 00:11:58,750
不用，我能應付，宴會上見

215
00:12:00,208 --> 00:12:02,000
她不會有事

216
00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:04,166
東尼，拜託快接

217
00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:07,625
你打來正好
請跟提米說美國隊長盾牌複製品

218
00:12:07,708 --> 00:12:09,375
只是愛國飛盤

219
00:12:09,458 --> 00:12:10,875
東尼，我有急事

220
00:12:10,958 --> 00:12:13,458
這裡也有麻煩，地方媽媽圍住隊長
該走了

221
00:12:13,541 --> 00:12:15,000
東尼…

222
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:18,250
好

223
00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:20,291
快接電話，快接

224
00:12:21,833 --> 00:12:23,375
什麼？等一下

225
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:26,833
克林特，該結束了，太陽快下山了

226
00:12:26,916 --> 00:12:29,291
就像冬至那樣要下山了

227
00:12:29,375 --> 00:12:30,208
班納…

228
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,041
-抱歉，最後一個
-班納

229
00:12:32,125 --> 00:12:33,375
克林特，玩具給她

230
00:12:33,458 --> 00:12:35,291
-沒辦法
-趕快給她

231
00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:38,708
我老婆說沒搶到這玩具就別回家

232
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:40,875
-可惡，克林特…
-給她啦

233
00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:47,958
水啦

234
00:12:48,458 --> 00:12:51,500
開始倒雪莉登波酒囉，大個子
我弄到櫻桃了

235
00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:53,875
麻雀一號，這是海雀二號

236
00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:56,708
聽到了嗎？紅色警戒

237
00:12:56,791 --> 00:12:58,708
大樓遭恐怖分子佔領

238
00:12:58,791 --> 00:13:01,125
耶誕節有恐怖分子？
是在演《空中監獄》嗎？

239
00:13:01,208 --> 00:13:05,000
不對，《魔鬼戰將》？不對…我知道

240
00:13:05,083 --> 00:13:06,625
我在搜尋腦袋中的片庫

241
00:13:06,708 --> 00:13:08,125
終極警探，專心點

242
00:13:08,208 --> 00:13:11,458
每件武器和盔甲都在漢默手中

243
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:12,791
你打給我幹嘛？

244
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,500
叫老賈通知軍隊或復仇者聯盟

245
00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:17,291
或是那個戴眼罩的可怕傢伙

246
00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:20,458
老賈離線重組，他們就是那樣…

247
00:13:20,541 --> 00:13:22,083
黛西，你真是天才

248
00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:25,750
謝了，我上大學超過五年

249
00:13:25,833 --> 00:13:27,375
不是我吹牛，我剛說什麼？

250
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,500
老賈有一台主機在地下二樓

251
00:13:29,583 --> 00:13:32,708
如果讓老賈恢復上線，就能控制大樓

252
00:13:32,791 --> 00:13:33,875
以及裡面的一切

253
00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:37,250
海雀二號
你在請我當你的條子幫手嗎？

254
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:40,041
條子幫手？這是你對那部片的印象？

255
00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:41,041
靠

256
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:48,416
你們看得見我吧？

257
00:13:56,708 --> 00:13:59,375
好…

258
00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:01,666
好

259
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:09,875
我看出去唯一的辦法就是出去

260
00:14:15,291 --> 00:14:16,708
哇哩…

261
00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:53,916
看到沒？我全身流著浩克之血

262
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,166
也許來試試有多猛

263
00:14:58,666 --> 00:15:00,625
等等，你聽到沒？

264
00:15:00,708 --> 00:15:01,958
快走…

265
00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:04,583
一拳打斷鐵鍊

266
00:15:04,666 --> 00:15:07,583
易怒個性呢？不能發脾氣

267
00:15:07,666 --> 00:15:09,375
冷靜，深呼吸

268
00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:10,791
應該有幫助吧？

269
00:15:12,541 --> 00:15:15,250
重複，海雀二號，都還好吧？

270
00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:17,958
你聽來有點像達斯維達

271
00:15:18,041 --> 00:15:20,125
等我一下，我正在忙

272
00:15:20,208 --> 00:15:23,083
整棟大樓竟然靠這個小盒子運作

273
00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:25,750
下次應該去維基解密實習

274
00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:28,666
因為我完全能掌控駭…不會吧

275
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,208
秘密房間

276
00:15:36,291 --> 00:15:38,458
你以為門控開關是主機喔？

277
00:15:38,541 --> 00:15:41,500
誰都會這樣
對阿宅來說這就像《納尼亞傳奇》

278
00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:44,458
地下二樓應該有備用的老賈人工智慧

279
00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:47,666
老闆，他有內應，在地下二樓

280
00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:50,416
我有更好的點子，回閣樓去

281
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:53,708
讓他們來找漢默更好

282
00:15:53,791 --> 00:15:56,416
好，老闆，這裡有星期五

283
00:15:56,500 --> 00:16:00,208
華德沃斯、伊迪絲1.0
聽來好像推理影集

284
00:16:00,291 --> 00:16:01,666
黛西，快挑一個

285
00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:02,708
太棒了

286
00:16:02,791 --> 00:16:03,666
那就溫納

287
00:16:05,458 --> 00:16:07,458
黛西，聽到了嗎？

288
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:12,416
好吧，麻雀一號請回答
這是海雀二號，聽到沒？

289
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:14,541
通了嗎？

290
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:19,500
英雄與壞蛋唯一的差別是公關形象

291
00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:22,625
在這個國家，贖罪不在於悔過

292
00:16:22,708 --> 00:16:24,375
而是重新塑造形象

293
00:16:24,458 --> 00:16:27,250
浩克之血就是我的機會

294
00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:30,833
你卻把它偷走，快樂霍根，但放心

295
00:16:30,916 --> 00:16:34,791
等我解剖你抽搐的屍體
我再進行逆向設計

296
00:16:34,875 --> 00:16:36,291
別讓他嚇唬你，快樂

297
00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:39,375
沒錯，霍根，我逮到你的助手小妹

298
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:41,041
但耶誕節我只要你

299
00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:44,541
這節日數來寶不賴呢

300
00:16:44,625 --> 00:16:46,875
謝了，五分鐘後到閣樓

301
00:16:46,958 --> 00:16:48,791
否則實習生就得吃耶誕老人的子彈

302
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,000
可是我這麼可愛

303
00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:54,708
快樂，幫個忙，別逞英雄

304
00:16:54,791 --> 00:16:57,375
啟動電梯，我上來

305
00:17:00,375 --> 00:17:02,083
好，看看這是什麼

306
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:06,041
這重量，沒聲音，我猜勞力士手錶？

307
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:11,041
老天，億萬富豪收到美國隊長襪子

308
00:17:11,583 --> 00:17:14,708
媒體騙人，這兩人果然不合

309
00:17:14,791 --> 00:17:17,083
高級襪子是很棒的禮物

310
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:18,166
（電梯門開啟）

311
00:17:19,708 --> 00:17:21,708
快樂，來借糖嗎？

312
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,083
轟了他

313
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:25,083
快樂，不！

314
00:17:29,208 --> 00:17:31,375
來點無花果布丁

315
00:17:31,458 --> 00:17:32,958
（讓它下雪吧！）

316
00:17:33,083 --> 00:17:35,041
讓它下雪？

317
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:37,166
我的媽呀

318
00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:41,000
什麼聲音？

319
00:17:41,583 --> 00:17:43,083
地震？有地震嗎？

320
00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:52,875
我想那是快樂霍根

321
00:17:59,958 --> 00:18:02,000
喂，大怪獸抓狂了

322
00:18:02,083 --> 00:18:04,291
我付錢請你們是幹什麼的？

323
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:05,416
這個免談

324
00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:09,416
快啊，瑜珈室，KTV包廂，真假？

325
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:11,333
復仇者聯盟軍械庫，就是它

326
00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:22,125
你的脖子比索爾還粗

327
00:18:22,208 --> 00:18:24,291
很厲害吧？精彩的還沒開始呢

328
00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:26,916
聽好，如果能重啟老賈…

329
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,958
搞定了，麻雀一號

330
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,500
你說你依靠我，那意義重大

331
00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:32,875
漢默去軍械庫了

332
00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:35,916
我來對付他，你們去重啟老賈

333
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,416
該教訓一下漢默了

334
00:18:39,791 --> 00:18:42,291
漢默…

335
00:19:32,041 --> 00:19:36,166
你輸了，漢默，不會有耶誕奇蹟了

336
00:19:36,916 --> 00:19:39,208
說得跟真的一樣，浩克霍根

337
00:19:43,666 --> 00:19:45,125
天啊，是耶誕老人

338
00:19:45,291 --> 00:19:46,458
他是真的

339
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,666
我是耶誕老人，寶貝

340
00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:02,666
漢默控制了浩克毀滅者

341
00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:05,791
我們得馬上掌控那套盔甲，上傳老賈

342
00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:07,750
不是老賈，是德國人

343
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:12,083
這是史上最爛的實習工作

344
00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:18,791
快樂，別這樣

345
00:20:18,875 --> 00:20:20,958
速戰速決，我只需要一點血清

346
00:20:21,125 --> 00:20:22,250
我給你顏色瞧瞧

347
00:20:30,791 --> 00:20:34,708
史塔克付的錢不值得你對抗漢默

348
00:20:38,875 --> 00:20:40,833
喂，你們在幹嘛？

349
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:43,500
沒有啊

350
00:20:47,666 --> 00:20:49,625
讚，史上最棒老闆

351
00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:50,750
黛西，真的嗎？

352
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:54,500
從老闆多到爆的人口中說出來
意義非凡

353
00:20:59,041 --> 00:21:00,083
（錯誤）

354
00:21:00,166 --> 00:21:01,500
沒反應，我們被擋住

355
00:21:01,583 --> 00:21:04,250
爛電腦，快強制結束

356
00:21:04,708 --> 00:21:05,583
（開始重啟？）

357
00:21:05,666 --> 00:21:07,083
竟然有用

358
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:11,291
我在卡爾佛大學資訊系實習學的撇步

359
00:21:11,375 --> 00:21:14,000
-你做過正職工作嗎？
-沒有

360
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:21,541
（下載溫納）

361
00:21:24,125 --> 00:21:25,166
（溫納）

362
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:26,333
你好

363
00:21:26,416 --> 00:21:29,791
好，可以了
解除薇若妮卡浩克毀滅者協定

364
00:21:29,875 --> 00:21:35,125
起初人類控制機器
如今機器控制人類的命運

365
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,125
好啦，你會呼叫復仇者聯盟嗎？

366
00:21:40,208 --> 00:21:42,666
就像德文說的，不會

367
00:21:44,541 --> 00:21:47,666
這是什麼鬼程式？
虛無主義者的語音助理嗎？

368
00:21:47,750 --> 00:21:48,791
像我爸的口氣

369
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:50,666
快樂，你只能靠自己了

370
00:21:54,208 --> 00:21:59,791
看我的泰拳、柔術、跆拳道

371
00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:06,958
要知道認輸，怪咖

372
00:22:08,083 --> 00:22:08,916
什麼？

373
00:22:24,250 --> 00:22:27,458
王八臭雞蛋，那怪物想砸爛我的盔甲

374
00:22:36,583 --> 00:22:38,208
布魯斯，幫個忙

375
00:22:38,291 --> 00:22:40,000
不用，你們可以的

376
00:22:44,875 --> 00:22:45,708
索爾呢？

377
00:22:46,875 --> 00:22:48,083
那是快樂嗎？

378
00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:49,000
不是

379
00:22:49,958 --> 00:22:51,125
這是什麼東西？

380
00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:57,375
不…他在賓客名單上

381
00:22:57,500 --> 00:23:00,041
重複，他在賓客名單上

382
00:23:02,166 --> 00:23:04,125
娜塔莎，是我

383
00:23:04,833 --> 00:23:06,458
天啊，快樂？

384
00:23:06,541 --> 00:23:07,625
我說對了

385
00:23:07,708 --> 00:23:12,000
這是好人，那才是壞蛋

386
00:23:14,041 --> 00:23:15,416
你幹嘛穿我的盔甲？

387
00:23:16,458 --> 00:23:17,291
沒幹嘛

388
00:23:40,041 --> 00:23:42,166
你救我，為什麼？

389
00:23:42,250 --> 00:23:44,875
現在是耶誕節，漢默，心存善念

390
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:46,625
對壞蛋也一樣

391
00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:55,416
我對宴會很抱歉，東尼
相信保險會理賠大部分損失

392
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:58,500
開什麼玩笑？你是我唯一需要的保單

393
00:23:58,583 --> 00:24:01,041
謝了，東尼，你應該有解藥吧？

394
00:24:01,125 --> 00:24:02,375
我不會永遠這樣吧？

395
00:24:04,166 --> 00:24:07,166
各位，我的維安主任，他很了不起吧？

396
00:24:07,250 --> 00:24:08,666
-對，快樂
-幹得好，快樂

397
00:24:08,750 --> 00:24:10,416
-太厲害了
-沒搞頭了

398
00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:13,583
至於這個佳節故事的後續

399
00:24:13,666 --> 00:24:18,583
大樓安全無恙，依然妝點著耶誕裝飾

400
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:21,666
此時東尼史塔克向團隊宣布一件事

401
00:24:21,750 --> 00:24:25,291
這時該來點吃的，大家同意吧

402
00:24:25,375 --> 00:24:29,333
我胃口大開
剛剛打完之後能吃一個水果蛋糕

403
00:24:29,416 --> 00:24:33,208
但眾英雄離開後，我聽到一個聲音說

404
00:24:33,291 --> 00:24:36,000
「大家耶誕快樂…」

405
00:24:36,833 --> 00:24:37,708
人呢？

406
00:24:38,291 --> 00:24:39,666
我錯過派對了

407
00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:44,166
「祝大家晚安」

408
00:24:45,333 --> 00:24:48,541
我們祝你聖誕快樂

409
00:24:48,625 --> 00:24:51,583
我們祝你聖誕快樂

410
00:24:51,666 --> 00:24:58,000
我們祝你聖誕快樂與新年快樂

411
00:24:58,083 --> 00:25:01,000
我們祝你聖誕快樂

412
00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:04,333
我們祝你聖誕快樂

413
00:25:04,416 --> 00:25:10,875
我們祝你聖誕快樂與新年快樂

414
00:25:10,958 --> 00:25:17,083
我們帶來佳音，送給你與你的親友

415
00:25:17,166 --> 00:25:23,208
聖誕佳音，新年快樂

416
00:25:23,291 --> 00:25:25,416
我們祝你聖誕活躍

417
00:25:25,500 --> 00:25:27,500
（根據漫威漫畫改編）

418
00:25:27,583 --> 00:25:29,791
我們祝你聖誕瘋狂

419
00:25:29,875 --> 00:25:35,666
我們祝你聖誕快樂與新年歡樂

420
00:26:01,375 --> 00:26:02,458
耶

421
00:26:28,625 --> 00:26:29,916
好

422
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,625
黛西女王往下望

423
00:26:32,708 --> 00:26:35,125
史帝夫羅傑斯的盛宴

424
00:26:35,208 --> 00:26:37,666
當雪花緩緩飄落地

425
00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:40,208
啦…

426
00:26:40,291 --> 00:26:45,041
索爾脖子粗，全都是肌肉

427
00:26:45,125 --> 00:26:51,291
他只是個小呆瓜，飛越宇宙

428
00:26:53,916 --> 00:26:55,916
佳節愉快！為錢亂編歌曲

429
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,000
字幕翻譯：Aaron Wu