1
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:18,810
Q-Force is going into the field!
2
00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:19,978
Field trip!
3
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:22,981
Who's ready to infiltrate
a uranium mine in Wyoming?
4
00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:24,149
This team is ready!
5
00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:27,527
I was so excited last night,
I only got nine hours of sleep.
6
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:29,362
K, these two trunks are just shoes.
7
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:32,157
Do you think
we'll be tap dancing and line dancing?
8
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,700
Can we drive past Area 51?
9
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:36,494
There's an alien there
I really owe an apology to.
10
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,830
Oh, we're not driving anywhere.
11
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:43,585
We are going to fly there
in our very own jet!
12
00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:47,130
You get a jet!
You get a jet! You get a jet!
13
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,507
Ah, shut up. It's so early.
14
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:52,218
Ah. Forgot all about you.
I guess you get a jet, too.
15
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:55,847
Well, off we go on
our very first mission in a real spy jet.
16
00:00:55,930 --> 00:01:00,393
After ten years of tireless preparation,
we are officially in the game.
17
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,231
The fuck is that?
18
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:08,902
Okay, so it's not pretty,
but it's a jet and it's ours.
19
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:10,779
Yeah, totally.
20
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,908
Can I put some bronzer
and lip gloss on it before we take off?
21
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,591
Welcome to Twink Air,
22
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:34,344
where the only thing
thinner than the air is me.
23
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:38,515
Can I offer anyone an in-flight magazine?
Jenna Elfman is on the cover!
24
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:41,476
Congratulations on your
first field mission, Q-Force.
25
00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:44,270
You'll be infiltrating the town
of Backache, Wyoming.
26
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:48,024
Former home of the world's biggest
ball of yarn, current home to crime.
27
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,569
- Ooh, crime.
- What happened to the yarn?
28
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,864
Your mission, find the leak
at the uranium mine and plug it.
29
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,991
Should be fun
for any of you tops on board!
30
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:58,243
On it!
31
00:01:59,077 --> 00:01:59,911
What?
32
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:03,581
Call me Miss Congeniality, honey,
'cause I'm a femme top with a gun.
33
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,417
You guys don't need to do anything.
Sit back and watch.
34
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:09,129
I could top a mission
like this in my sleep.
35
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:12,132
Uh, hold up on the orders.
I'm the head of Q-Force.
36
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:15,844
I'm lead, and for the record,
I'm vers 'cause I'm a grown-up.
37
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:18,680
Actually, Mary,
Buck's right. He's in charge today.
38
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:21,683
That's ridiculous.
I graduated first in my class.
39
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:23,434
I can run a simple recon mission.
40
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,812
Cut! You'll handle
what I tell you to handle.
41
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,689
Buck's only been
in our squad for three days
42
00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:30,191
and already his pubic hairs
are all over the microwave.
43
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,044
I'm the man for this job
and everyone knows it.
44
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:35,446
Every mission needs a leader
with actual experience.
45
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:36,823
Mary, fall in line.
46
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,201
Aw. You gonna cry?
47
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:44,497
You see, this is why
you can't work in the field. I never cry.
48
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,708
I just have
a heart attack every two years.
49
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:48,293
No, I'm not gonna cry.
50
00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:51,337
The only thing that makes me cry
is that one Rita Wilson scene
51
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,006
in Sleepless in Seattle where she...
52
00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:54,841
Wait, shit.
53
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:57,260
God, everyone look
at the back of the plane!
54
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,345
You're such a loser, Mar-bear.
55
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,141
Okay, it obviously sucks
that Buck's the boss today,
56
00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:05,602
but maybe V has a point.
I don't know. She usually does,
57
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,479
so let's see what
all this wonderful experience gets us.
58
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,899
Creamers don't expire, right?
59
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:11,982
No, right?
60
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:24,913
Clean country air.
61
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,249
That's tree cum.
It's tree cum you're smelling.
62
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,793
And now I wish I only had to breathe out.
63
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:34,797
Mary and I will head up that mountain
to the mine and you chicks stay down here
64
00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:37,926
and wait for us. I don't know. Buck out.
65
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,803
You're kidding, right?
That's the stupidest plan I've ever heard.
66
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,389
I'd have
the rest of the team do recon in town.
67
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,243
We've been running undercover simulations
of missions exactly like this
68
00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:47,477
in West Hollywood for years.
69
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,770
This isn't a simulation.
70
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:51,648
It's a real mission,
and this isn't West Hollywood.
71
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,149
It's Wyoming.
72
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:56,569
So for those reasons and more,
everything you just said is like, "Durr."
73
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:59,113
We're supposed to figure out
who's stealing uranium, right?
74
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,658
So let us go undercover as a news team.
75
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,869
I'm sound, Stat's camera person,
and Twink's a reporter.
76
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,872
The most famous
reporter of all time,
77
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,767
Erin Brockovich
from the movie Erin Brockovich.
78
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,210
I don't think
that's what Erin Brockovich is about.
79
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:14,379
Yeah-huh. Erin Brockovich is a reporter,
80
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,589
and then she talks to the people
and wins the movie.
81
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,384
It's in my top five favorite movies
about hexavalent chromium.
82
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:23,554
Your team's idea of doing surveillance is
dressing up and putting on a little play?
83
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:27,183
Have you ever tried putting on a play?
The little ones are the hardest.
84
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,560
Look, they can't just sit around
and do nothing.
85
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:32,855
Fine. Go to the town square,
ask some questions,
86
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,899
but don't make it a whole thing.
87
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:35,983
Mary, let's go.
88
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:41,489
Yah!
89
00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:44,450
Yah! I said yah!
90
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:46,077
Hey, dumbfuck.
91
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,371
Maybe if you stop kicking
the horse in its kidneys,
92
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,415
it'll be able to concentrate on walking.
93
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:52,125
Oh, what is this? Horse class?
94
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:53,668
I got an A-plus in horse class,
95
00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:56,963
and I seem to recall you rupturing
your taint at the dressage final.
96
00:04:57,046 --> 00:05:00,591
Well, they put it back together
way stronger, so shut up.
97
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:06,139
Hello, sir. I'm Erin Brockovich.
98
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:09,392
The reporter? From the movies?
99
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:10,852
Mmm-hmm. Not a reporter.
100
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:15,231
I'm doing an investigation
as is typical for reporters like me.
101
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,650
Have you noticed
anything unusual around town?
102
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:20,820
Well, the street signs
keep getting blurrier.
103
00:05:20,903 --> 00:05:22,905
Mmm. And why do you think that is?
104
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:23,990
Obama!
105
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:26,993
Also, the pharmacy changed my medicine.
106
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,995
It's salty now.
107
00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:30,371
Stat! Twink's over there.
108
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,915
Yeah, but there's a Taco Time over there.
109
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,418
You can't get serious
fast food like that in LA.
110
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,836
In-N-Out's a fucking joke.
111
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:38,588
Did you know they use real lettuce?
112
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:41,215
Look, I'll admit this isn't going amazing,
113
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:43,092
but we're gathering
intelligence right now.
114
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,969
My knee hurts.
115
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,764
That's also probably Obama's fault. Yeah.
116
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:49,807
You call this intelligence?
117
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,267
I hacked NORAD.
118
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,853
I have France's nuclear codes
tattooed on my neck.
119
00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:56,606
Got all the intelligence
I need, Deb, my man.
120
00:05:56,689 --> 00:06:00,026
What I don't have is
a throat full of molten queso right now.
121
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:01,736
Look, maybe Buck was right.
122
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:03,696
Okay, now I know you're crazy.
123
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,365
Buck ain't right about shit.
124
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,409
Now go get your pick-me-up
and I'll get mine, too.
125
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:17,085
Debbie-bear!
Did the Pep Boys crew have a safe flight?
126
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:22,048
Bad turbulence, but the pilot,
who was not me, handled it like a pro.
127
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:25,968
I'm so glad Mary decided to bring you
to this catalytic converter convention.
128
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:26,886
How's Denver?
129
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:30,264
Hard to be in a city
with this much green chili without you,
130
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,682
but it's going okay.
131
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:35,019
Only thing is we got
this new assistant manager, Buck,
132
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:38,022
and he doesn't
have faith in me or my team at all.
133
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,774
I'm all in my head, babe.
134
00:06:39,857 --> 00:06:42,193
This motherfucker's
a real Doubtin' Dorothy.
135
00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:44,904
Babe, the first time
I ever saw you in Palm Springs,
136
00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:47,407
mixing your own sunscreen
at the hotel salad bar,
137
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:51,119
I said to myself, "That's the most
competent woman you'll ever meet."
138
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:54,247
Keep working hard.
He'll see your value just like I did.
139
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:58,000
I love you, Pammy-cakes.
You always know exactly what to say.
140
00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:02,505
Howdy. You boys took long enough.
141
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,257
My name is Ennis, crew chief.
142
00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,340
I'm Buck.
143
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,051
This is Mar... Steve.
144
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,010
Steve and Buck.
145
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,555
Two men's names,
and we're both big-time straight.
146
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,348
Where are the other miners?
147
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,600
Corporation laid 'em all off.
148
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:17,437
Whole town lost their jobs. Damn shame.
149
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,230
You mine all the uranium yourself?
150
00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:20,815
Got robots to do that.
151
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:23,651
I keep the robots running.
Let me show you.
152
00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:28,406
We got extractor robots, crusher robots,
153
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,158
transport robots.
154
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,241
Go on! Get!
155
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:36,747
Excuse me, fellas.
156
00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:39,876
Well, that's clearly the bad guy.
157
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,462
There's no one else here.
Agent Buck solves another case.
158
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:43,379
What are you...
159
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,466
Just because he's the only person here
doesn't mean he's the bad guy.
160
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,259
I wouldn't shoot him.
161
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,136
I would pump him for info.
162
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:51,345
Well, sorry, honey.
163
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,931
Murder's on the menu and Daddy's hungry.
164
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,435
Eat that, moron.
165
00:07:57,518 --> 00:08:00,771
I'm not gonna let you kill someone
and fuck up my first big mission.
166
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,065
Besides, this place
is full of security cameras.
167
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,418
I'll go find the security footage.
168
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,882
Put your gun back together.
Should take you a couple of hours.
169
00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:32,887
Authorized personnel only.
170
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:34,388
Shit!
171
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,683
But it wasn't
Frances McDormand I saw in the shop.
172
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,186
- It was just a woman.
- Cool.
173
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:44,315
Uh... Okay, again,
my question was do you work at the mine?
174
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:48,361
Oh, no, I call in to radio giveaways
full-time and collect piles of newspaper.
175
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:50,530
- Cut!
- Damn it! Another dead end!
176
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:53,115
But we can't give up now.
Come on, we're too damn good.
177
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,575
We just gotta follow our guts.
178
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,328
I had my gut removed
to fit in my waist trainer.
179
00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:58,829
Well, my gut says
180
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:02,875
if I was a laid-off miner living in a town
like this with nothing else to do,
181
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:07,046
I'd be at the bowling alley
24-motherfucking-7.
182
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:09,507
Thank you, lesbian Spidey-sense.
183
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,344
Our badges don't work
in the security room. We need Ennis'.
184
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,388
Then I'll gain his trust and steal it.
185
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:18,766
Keep quiet. I don't want him to hear
the musical theater in your voice.
186
00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:20,142
So these are the bunks.
187
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,186
Me, I don't need much,
188
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:25,982
just a hole to mine, a brew to drink
and a game to watch. Know what I mean?
189
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:29,527
We ain't got none of that,
just a shower and a terlet.
190
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,862
If you'll excuse me,
I got to use one of 'em.
191
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:36,325
Hey, great spying so far, but you've
missed something super important.
192
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,287
Good thing I'm here
to tell you what it is. Ennis is gay.
193
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:42,456
Ennis, gay. Who's next?
194
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,625
Olympic skier Gus Kenworthy? Fuck you.
195
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:45,543
What are you...
196
00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:48,754
The clues are everywhere.
A DVD box set of Sex and the City,
197
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:51,173
the Bollywood version
of Shania Twain's Up! album.
198
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,758
What about this sexy lady?
199
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,428
That's a young Sela Ward
and it's a poster promoting literacy!
200
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:57,430
Oh, my God, you're right.
201
00:09:57,513 --> 00:10:00,683
Okay, so he's gay. So what?
All we need is the security footage.
202
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,393
Uh, hmm...
203
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:05,229
Okay, here's the new plan.
I'll have to seduce him.
204
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,940
Gay guys love me.
I'm like Pink, the singer.
205
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,817
No, moron. I should seduce him.
206
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,777
I have gay sex with gay men often.
207
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,864
The smart move is to step aside
and have me do the seduction.
208
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:18,492
Been in the field for ten years
and I've never made the smart move.
209
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,244
Follow my lead. That's an order.
210
00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:27,918
Can I help you?
211
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,420
I know what you're thinking.
212
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:30,921
We ain't from around here!
213
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,798
That is verbatim what I was thinking.
214
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,217
I'm Deb. You work up at the mine?
215
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,429
Not anymore. We were all laid off.
216
00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:42,391
So you're all disgruntled ex-miners
hanging around the town
217
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,977
owned by the corporation
that destroyed your way of life?
218
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,438
You sure ask one long question.
219
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:55,905
They're gonna kill us for our reporting,
just like they killed Erin Brockovich.
220
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:56,988
She died, right?
221
00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,325
That's the reservoir.
222
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,493
Those are some rocks.
223
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:01,661
That about covers it.
224
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:05,039
Jeez. I feel so hot in all these clothes.
225
00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:06,874
I just want to cool off.
226
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,298
Hey! Come on in!
227
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,926
The water's... thick?
228
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:20,429
Because that's radioactive
runoff from the mine.
229
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,599
We gotta quarantine you now
or we're all going to get cancer.
230
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:27,895
Twenty-four hours in there,
he'll be good as new.
231
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,605
If his skin don't melt off.
232
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,692
Okay, so temporary setback.
233
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:36,320
I can use your body cam and
comm-link to run things from this unit.
234
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,405
Yeah, no.
235
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:41,617
- Go for V.
- So, some news. Buck is down.
236
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,870
Step one, burn the body.
I'll activate Vengeance Protocol.
237
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,665
No! He's alive, just incapacitated.
238
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:51,293
He was trying to make a gay man horny
and dove into a radioactive reservoir.
239
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:54,588
- He'll be out of commission for 24 hours.
- Oh, damn it, Buck.
240
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:57,174
You can't pander
to the gays. They can smell it.
241
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,427
You're acting like Citibank at Pride.
242
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,011
Well, thanks for the update.
243
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:04,306
You're point now, but make sure
to coordinate with the Toxic Avenger.
244
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,101
Sorry, Congress. You were saying?
245
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:11,647
Well, the world finally makes sense.
I'm in charge and you're in a cage.
246
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,941
Plus your Make-A-Wish came true.
247
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:16,777
You get to fuck that dude.
The fate of the world depends on it.
248
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:19,822
Then the fate of the world
is in strong and supple hands.
249
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,505
Let me offer you some sex advice.
What you're gonna wanna do is...
250
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,243
I don't want advice from you.
251
00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:26,120
Your methods almost got you killed.
252
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:30,332
You sure? I hold the agency record
for most fucks on a single mission.
253
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,500
Nine times in Havana.
254
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:35,212
And I hold the agency record for
not wanting to hear this story the most.
255
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,840
Bye, Buck.
Good luck not dying. I got it from here!
256
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,265
Sorry about your friend.
257
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:47,516
But I'm also glad.
258
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,018
He talks too much.
259
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:50,186
I'll keep quiet.
260
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:51,937
I'm just here to mine.
261
00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:56,317
If I can do anything else
for you, just... let me know.
262
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,068
The way you fill out those coveralls,
263
00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,946
it's a wonder any uranium
gets mined around here at all.
264
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,030
Huh?
265
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:04,241
You ever wonder how deep the shaft goes?
266
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:07,244
It goes down 1,300 feet.
It's my job to know.
267
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:09,538
Oh, really? And how far down do you go?
268
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:14,126
Well, 1,300 feet when I gotta clean out
the bottom of the shaft, that is.
269
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,878
That's so hot.
270
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,049
What are you doing? We're at work.
271
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,675
Sex and work don't mix.
272
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,594
Ain't you seen Ally McBeal?
273
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:27,807
Oh, shit.
274
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:29,475
Who sent you?
275
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:30,726
Wait, you look familiar.
276
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:31,936
Oh.
277
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:34,605
Do you follow my OnlyFan... I mean, yes.
278
00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:36,357
I'm Erin Brockovich.
279
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,734
Ain't you a lawyer? I hate lawyers.
280
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,362
She ain't a lawyer.
She's a news lady, from the movie.
281
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:44,782
She saves them cancer kids
from a Mystic Pizza or something.
282
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,867
It's true. We're investigative journalists
283
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,453
committed to giving
the underdog a fair shake.
284
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:50,704
We heard about your, uh...
285
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:52,790
bowling army.
286
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:57,419
- You came to do a story about our militia?
- Yes, we did. Roll camera, please.
287
00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:03,008
Ex-miner, in your own words,
tell us your bad, ugly story.
288
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:06,971
Well, we worked
in that mine all our lives,
289
00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:09,682
then some shady company
bought it and fired us.
290
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,267
Replaced us with robots.
291
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,687
Now, we're looking for
a little something we call revenge.
292
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,651
We are shoo-ins
for a regional Emmy.
293
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:24,071
This is
an amazing Melissa compound.
294
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:25,614
You guys should be proud.
295
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,533
Honestly, we are proud.
296
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:30,578
Everyone else failed us.
Mining company, federal government.
297
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,163
We're going to blow it all up
and rebrand Backache
298
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:35,541
as a quaint little getaway destination.
299
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:39,086
Think the Poconos
without the '80s decor and the cum stains.
300
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:41,755
Over there,
there's the Reiki hut, some sound baths,
301
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,424
crystal grotto, my idea.
302
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:46,444
She showed us
everything except for the yurt.
303
00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:48,095
Think she's hiding something in there?
304
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:50,389
Probably heavily inbred conjoined twins.
305
00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:53,017
Small town, small gene pool.
It's bound to happen.
306
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,731
We have him in our sights.
Are we authorized to take the shot?
307
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:01,001
Oops. Hold on, Death Squad Nine.
308
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,735
- What is it, Mary?
- I need your help.
309
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:05,237
I have to seduce an enemy agent,
but my signature blend
310
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,799
of affected confidence and body of a God
isn't sealing the deal.
311
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:11,285
Mary, I haven't had to do that
in years. You need to talk to Buck.
312
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,621
Um... Yeah, pass.
313
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:16,957
Buck's a great spy
and even better at spy sex. I should know.
314
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,793
I was his spy-sex instructor
at the Academy.
315
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:22,338
He's like
the Energizer Bunny, great at sex.
316
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:25,132
Ew. Stop it! Wait, spy sex was a class?
317
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:26,425
Why did I take, like, French?
318
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:30,596
Mary, being a great spy means
working with people you hate sometimes.
319
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,514
Like me and my assistant JJ.
320
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:33,891
Absolutely hate her.
321
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:35,768
Her whole vibe makes me sick.
322
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:38,520
But Buck didn't ask me for my help
when he was running things.
323
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:41,273
Don't be like Buck. Be better than him.
324
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,233
You're always talking
about how great you are,
325
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:46,236
how you need the opportunity
to prove it. Well, here it is, kid.
326
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,821
You gonna fuck it up or not?
327
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,950
Okay, fine. You're right.
328
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:54,703
I'll consult Buck about... sex.
329
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,330
Attaboy. Talk soon.
330
00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:58,749
Okay, kill the prince.
331
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,586
Well, look who came crawling back.
332
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:05,714
- Jesus, can you cover your penis, please?
- What, are you jealous?
333
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,007
Worried, actually.
334
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:09,009
I've never seen anyone
half-circumcised before.
335
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:11,679
The other half's in Shanghai, baby.
336
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,472
Mission-related casualty.
337
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:15,057
You wouldn't understand.
338
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:18,477
I've tried to seduce Ennis once,
and he turned me down,
339
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,397
which literally makes no sense.
I mean, look at this ass.
340
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,857
I can't fail again.
Give me your dumbass advice now.
341
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:24,941
Please.
342
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,193
Oh, Mary.
343
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:29,238
I don't like you,
and not because you're, you know...
344
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,156
A pterodactyl?
345
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,658
It's 'cause you're arrogant.
346
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:36,620
I know you were first in our class,
but you haven't done anything since then.
347
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:41,750
Okay. So what techniques have you learned
from "all the spy sex" you've had?
348
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,836
It's not about techniques.
349
00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,337
You can't plan these things.
350
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:48,340
You need to be in the moment,
finding your sex opportunity,
351
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:49,591
and fuck it till dunzo.
352
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:52,428
The spy shit will follow. Here, take this.
353
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:57,182
An official agency sex watch.
I've never seen one of these in person.
354
00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:00,686
It contains everything you need
for a night of throbbing spy work.
355
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,147
First button's Viagra,
second button is lube,
356
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:05,983
third button dispenses
one very long spaghetti.
357
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:07,335
Wait, why would I need spaghetti?
358
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,987
You've never Lady and the Tramp-ed?
359
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,906
Oh, brother, we're in trouble.
360
00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,868
Whatever's in that yurt
has to be big.
361
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:19,079
- Maybe it's the stolen uranium.
- How do we get them to show us?
362
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:23,125
What would Erin Brockovich
do in this situation?
363
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,711
- Should I put on a tank top?
- Wait.
364
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:28,547
I was reviewing the day's footage.
There's something you should see.
365
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:31,133
Did you see it?
366
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,635
Yeah, he had
a really gross skin tag on his ear.
367
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,637
You talked about it all through lunch.
368
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,098
No, behind the awesome skin tag.
369
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,266
The Hardie's trucks.
370
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:42,561
They only have Hardie's
in eastern Wyoming.
371
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:46,106
We're in Karl's Jr. country. There's
no reason for Hardie's trucks to be here.
372
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,567
I think that fleet of trucks
was smuggling something.
373
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:49,568
Like uranium?
374
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:51,111
You know about this?
375
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:53,781
So the militia isn't stealing
uranium from the mine?
376
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:56,116
Oh, heavens, no. We wouldn't steal.
377
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,869
But whoever is stealing the uranium
is just another shady part
378
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:01,413
of the power structure
that's screwing over the workers.
379
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,749
That's why we're gonna
blow the whole mine up.
380
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:08,003
Oh. So earlier when you said you
wanted to blow it all up and start over,
381
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,671
you weren't being metaphorical.
382
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,883
No, yeah, we're literally gonna
blow the mine. In, like, two hours.
383
00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:14,051
Get ready, should be fun.
384
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:16,261
#girlboss!
385
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,846
Mary's inside that mine!
386
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:21,058
I'll deal with the militia,
you two get to town and find those trucks.
387
00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:22,476
Okay, can we do this fast?
388
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,853
'Cause she's got 20 minutes
left on this tuck, babe.
389
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,150
God damn it, Mary! Pick up the phone!
390
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:37,199
Relax. Relax, just be in the moment.
391
00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:40,285
You were first in your class,
now be first in his ass.
392
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:46,542
This homo's a romantic.
393
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,919
I was too forward before.
394
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:56,927
Nice spread.
395
00:18:57,010 --> 00:19:00,430
I just feel like a night this beautiful
on a mountain this beautiful
396
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,850
deserves a beautiful celebration.
397
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:06,353
Well, I sure do agree. This is perfect.
398
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:12,734
But there might be one head of livestock
that needs to get let out of its pen.
399
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:16,446
Which... Oh, the livestock in your pants.
You mean your dick. Copy that.
400
00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:21,118
I'm gay.
401
00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:22,744
Yeah, I know.
402
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,769
Go back to sleep.
403
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:51,190
All that buckin'
made this bronco a little hungry.
404
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,650
Maybe I'll rustle us up some beans.
405
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:10,042
The robots are stealing the uranium!
406
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:13,212
They were pulling an inside job
while I was giving Ennis one!
407
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:15,923
Emergency squad meeting.
TLDR, I just fucked my first mark,
408
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,592
which was fun. I'm super good at sex
even when it's for work.
409
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:21,136
Bad news is the robots
weren't put here to work in the mine.
410
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,989
They're part of the secret plot
to steal the uranium!
411
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,140
Yeah, and that's only
half of the bad news.
412
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,477
We infiltrated a militia that's set
to blow the whole mountain sky high!
413
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,771
You need to get out of there, now!
What's the plan?
414
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:33,982
Stat, Twink, get to where those robots
are going and grab whatever you can.
415
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,694
Whoever's meeting them will be heavily
armed, so be careful. Get in and get out.
416
00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:39,738
If Twink and I can snag one of the robots,
417
00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:42,366
the programming code
may tell us what we need to know.
418
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:44,492
It's starting!
419
00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:46,620
I gotta get Agent Buck.
420
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:47,746
Do you have to?
421
00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:49,957
Pretty sure the AIA
has a lot more like him.
422
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,043
I know! It's like, who's doing
their recruiting? Sean Cody?
423
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:55,212
- Right?
- Plus, it's not like he'd save us.
424
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,673
Well, we're not him. We're Q-Force,
425
00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:01,009
and together we are greater
than the sum of our parts.
426
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,719
The thing about being queer is...
427
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:05,055
Yeah, Pride, chosen family. We get it!
428
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:06,640
The bombs, bitch! Let's go!
429
00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:08,350
Right, very good. Mary out.
430
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,145
What's going on?
431
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:14,648
I'm saving your life!
432
00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:16,566
No, you're touching my sack.
433
00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:32,124
Steve! Wait!
434
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:36,586
Okay, let's show everyone
the other thing my big, strong ass is for.
435
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,599
Close the back!
436
00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:58,066
Hey! Is that
that lady from Ocean's Twelve?
437
00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,735
They're called boobs, Ed.
438
00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:04,698
You gotta believe me.
439
00:22:04,781 --> 00:22:08,076
I had no idea those robots
were stealing the uranium.
440
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,620
I never even
went in that room. I swear to Christ.
441
00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:12,331
I believe you, Ennis.
442
00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:14,583
I'm sorry I lied to you.
443
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:17,294
But the time we shared was beautiful.
444
00:22:17,377 --> 00:22:21,423
This near-death experience
put some things into focus for me.
445
00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:24,384
It's time for me to get real,
move back to Cincinnati,
446
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:25,677
and finish my operetta.
447
00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:27,929
Not what I thought you were gonna say.
448
00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:30,057
So, do you want to marry me?
449
00:22:31,099 --> 00:22:33,560
I don't. So sorry, hon. Bye-bye.
450
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:35,979
Then why did we fight for the right?
451
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:38,273
We did so much damn marchin'!
452
00:22:42,402 --> 00:22:46,323
Guys, we just faced our first real test
as a spy unit and we all stepped up!
453
00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:50,118
For a decade, we've been saying we could
handle a real mission. We just proved it.
454
00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:53,246
I'm so proud of this incredible team.
455
00:22:58,251 --> 00:22:59,419
Oh. Hey, boss.
456
00:22:59,503 --> 00:23:02,756
Got a status update for me?
Did you, uh, "seal the deal"?
457
00:23:02,839 --> 00:23:04,091
Thoroughly.
458
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:07,427
Other than that, the mine
was destroyed, but Agent Buck is safe.
459
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:09,805
I recovered some of the stolen uranium,
460
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:12,140
and we've got a copy
of the robot source code,
461
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,559
so we'll definitely
get to the bottom of this.
462
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,770
It's not exactly
the outcome you expected, but...
463
00:23:16,853 --> 00:23:19,106
It wasn't clean, but you got the job done.
464
00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:22,609
Sex in a nutshell.
I hope you learned a lesson here, Mary.
465
00:23:22,692 --> 00:23:24,986
I was right at the beginning,
I'm right now,
466
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:26,405
and I'm always gonna be right.
467
00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:28,657
Lesson learned. Always listen to V.
468
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:31,118
I don't wanna keep you.
I know you got so much going on.
469
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:33,662
No, no, I've always got time for you.
470
00:23:33,745 --> 00:23:36,373
You know, this chapter
of your life out in the field,
471
00:23:36,456 --> 00:23:40,168
saving the world with your squad,
this is the best it's ever gonna get.
472
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,838
- You're gonna miss it when it's over.
- Do you miss it?
473
00:23:45,215 --> 00:23:46,216
I do.
474
00:23:46,299 --> 00:23:48,677
Enjoy what you've got
while you've still got it.
475
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,929
I'll try. Night, V.
476
00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:52,889
This is nuts, isn't it, Deb?
477
00:23:52,973 --> 00:23:55,809
Like, we're the first
queer agents in the field ever.
478
00:23:55,892 --> 00:23:59,396
I feel so much pressure to show
I'm the best because if I mess up,
479
00:23:59,479 --> 00:24:02,315
I don't know if anyone else
like us will ever get a chance.
480
00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:05,652
Uh-huh. Hey, why don't you try
being a Black woman for five seconds?
481
00:24:05,735 --> 00:24:08,613
Oh, my God, I'd love to,
but wouldn't I get in trouble?
482
00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:11,408
Anyway, I can't wait to get home.
483
00:24:11,491 --> 00:24:14,619
I haven't been away from Pam
for more than nine hours since we met.
484
00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:16,788
She's gonna be so happy to see you.
485
00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:19,583
As long as she remembered
to put her eyedrops in,
486
00:24:19,666 --> 00:24:21,877
otherwise she ain't seein' shit.
487
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:27,716
Pammy! Guess who's home?
488
00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:29,217
The fuck is goin' on?
489
00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:41,146
"You took our uranium,
so we took your wife."
490
00:24:41,229 --> 00:24:44,733
"Bring the goods and meet us
at these coordinates or she dies."
491
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:48,737
Oh, my wife!