♪♪
[ Thunder crashes ]
♪♪
Tessitore: Tonight on "Holey Moley,"
it's mini golfer versus nature,
as eight new contestants battle the elements
in a course designed after Mother Nature herself.
[ Thunder crashes ]
Earth...
[ Crowd cheers ]
...wind... [ Crowd shouts ]
...fire... [ Man grunts ]
Donut.
[ Woman screams ] I wish the donuts were real.
♪♪
Tonight, eight world‐class athletes,
three rounds of extreme mini golf,
and one winner with a final putt
that's gonna be worth a quarter of a million dollars.
Hi, everybody. I'm Joe Tessitore.
And I'm Rob Riggle. This is...
Together: "Holey Moley 3D."
In 2D!
As clouds gather over tonight's matchup,
the push to take "Holey Moley" pro
looms over the entire sport of mini golf.
But there's something awe‐inspiring
about the spirit of the amateur athlete.
And as our golfers get ready to do battle,
we are about to see the group of athletes
that Stephen Curry has put together.
Wait a minute.
We have people in costumes out there,
and they're not Sir Goph.
That's because anybody can win on "Holey Moley."
It's that dumb.
Here's how it's gonna work.
Round 1, we have eight golfers. They're gonna face off.
The winners will compete in a sudden‐death Round 2.
Only the best survive
to that final round, the third round.
And that's where they're gonna play
for a spot in the finale,
the episode where one champion
is gonna make a putt for a quarter million dollars.
[ Rustling ] Do you hear that?
There's rustling. Joe, what's going on?
We're being told that that is not a sound effect.
Well, that's terrifying then, if that's the ca‐‐
Look at this. What is this, Joe?!
That's a dinosaur, Joe!
This is exactly like a dream I just had.
They chased me all the way down to the beach,
but then we end up hanging out and become friends.
But this is not a beach, obviously.
No, I believe this is Stephen Curry's latest creation,
Putt‐A‐Saurus.
So, let's hear from the mastermind himself.
[ Dinosaur roars ]
Let me introduce you
to the newest "Holey Moley" family pet,
Putt‐A‐Saurus.
When we uncovered real dinosaur bones
under our course, we were blown away.
So, when museums reached out, asking if they could
turn our Putt‐A‐Saurus into an exhibit,
we said no thanks.
We're gonna make him a mini golf hole instead.
Golfers start by racing over the mud pit,
using those rib bones as prehistoric stepping stones.
Whoever makes it across and touches the dino bone first
gets the better ball position.
Then they'll have to putt through the bony bridge
to make it to the green, where they'll finish the hole.
This is very exciting because I've been begging
for a mud pit... I know.
...from day one.
You finally got it. Yes!
Whoo! [ Laughs ]
Tessitore: Heading up to the tar pit
for our first matchup,
Leo Svete of Sarasota, Florida,
and Jill Clifton from San Diego.
Uh‐oh.
That outfit being worn by Jill Clifton,
um... that's gonna get dirty.
Am I wrong?
No, she has come to the right hole
to try to challenge that outfit.
♪♪
Hi, my name is Jill Clifton
from San Diego, California,
and I'm the owner of a lip plumping company.
♪♪
My motto is plump it,
pout it, putt it up.
My friends call me the Ice Princess
because I'm always in white.
I have a white cat, a white house,
a white car, white golf clubs,
and that golden putter would be the perfect addition
to that white golf bag of mine.
[ Smooch ]
Hey, I'm Leo Svete from Sarasota, Florida.
I've been playing professional basketball
on an international level for the last five years.
I'm the "Shot God" 'cause I'm known
for making that final shot,
just like I'm about to do here on this course.
My whole family own a golf course,
so golfing is in my blood.
My uncle is actually best friends with Arnold Palmer.
Putting is definitely my favorite part of golf.
Love hitting that far shot
that your opponent think you can't make.
The Shot God has entered the putt green.
Jill Clifton in all white for now.
Her friends call her the Ice Princess.
About to be the mud princess.
Meanwhile, Leo Svete is 6'6".
The second tallest player. By an inch.
We had a 6'7" player.
[ Crowd cheers ]
[ Air horn blows ]
Here they go.
[ Cheering continues ]
And Leo...
Jill head first!
Leo wins. [ Laughs ]
Jill took a big spill.
Yes! [ Laughs ]
Yessss!
[ Laughs ]
Oh, that's the stuff.
She is just covered in mud.
People pay top dollar
for this kind of mud treatment in spas all over the world.
[ Laughs ]
[ Jill screams ]
I'm so proud of this hole. It's a winner.
I'm gonna stamp it approved. Stamp it approved.
Stamped.
Let's take you through the replay.
Jill put forth a tremendous run here,
but watch how she goes into the mud.
Oof! Head was straight down.
Feet were straight up.
Watch her right foot catch this last rib.
Right there. [ Sighs ]
Whoa!
And then she struggled through the mud
for life.
[ Chuckles ] It's all good.
Leo: Ooh! Oh, man! That was crazy.
Wow. Jill, I almost had to pull you out of there.
You saved me! Ooh! Did I?
The hair didn't quite hold up as well as the lips.
[ Ding! ]
Oh, this, a little lip plumping.
Huh.
Would you ever consider?
What, pumping up my lips? Yeah.
You've never had any work done on the lips, though.
No, but I do stretch them every morning.
You stretch them out. Yeah. I put a clothespin on it ‐‐
You put a clothespin?
Pbht!
Plump it, pout it, putt it up, Leo.
Leo: Yeah. That's the motto.
That's not a pocket.
[ Laughs ]
Jill lost the tar pit race,
so she has the longer putt.
She's going to need to hit this hard
to get the ball up and over the vertebrae
and onto the green.
[ Whispering ] Plump it, pout it, putt it up.
Oh! Oh!
Jill's ball slaloms
through bony bridge.
Leo: Where's it going?
Bounces off the bone.
Jill: Where's it, Leo? Ooh.
That's a very bad lie. Terrible lie!
Alright.
The angle she's gonna have to the hole
will have the ridge in play.
That's tough to beat, though.
Leo, the Shot God of basketball.
Will he be the Shot God of mini golf?
Jill: You got this.
♪♪
Good, solid putt.
You got it. It's across. It's across.
Over the ridge, comes back.
Oh! Leo: Wow.
Absolutely excellent tee shot.
That ends up just about 20 inches away.
[ Cheering ]
He's an easy putt away from getting to Round 2 here.
Oh, yeah. I think this is a lock.
Um, unless...
all these dinosaurs kill him.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You want it out?
I want it out. Alright.
Tessitore: Now, what kind of percentage
would you give Jill Clifton of making this putt?
You could put a professional golfer there,
and they're going to struggle.
Jill: Alright. Let's bank this.
Oh! She's getting creative.
This is what mini golf offers
that big golf doesn't.
♪♪
Will the angle work?
[ Laughs ] What was that?
There was no accuracy.
I liked her instincts, but it's not good.
Leo's appreciative of what Jill put forth there,
but right now, he's most appreciative
that he has an opportunity to win this hole right here.
Leo...
into Round 2! There it is. There it is.
Boy, he made quick work of Jill, didn't he?
Whoo! I'm coming for that money!
Nice job!
Leo Svete advances to Round 2.
He's the winner here on Putt‐A‐Saurus,
and he's still in line for that chance at a quarter mil.
And now this is one of the most anticipated
debut holes here in Season 3,
The Parcade.
Golfers will send their putt up the face
of this giant pinball machine
and try to make it into one of the five iconic
"Holey Moley" holes,
including Uranus, Putter Ducky,
you got Putt Bunyan's Log Roll there,
the Tomb of Nefer‐Tee‐Tee, and Double Dutch Courage.
Now, depending on which of those holes the ball goes into,
it'll have varying success
as it makes its way to the green.
Once the ball's across,
they have to get themselves over the flippers
without falling into the water.
If they hit the water,
it's a stroke penalty.
I got to say, real quick, too,
that little Uranus... Yes.
...does not look anything like Uranus.
No, it does not. No, no, no.
It's well‐groomed.
Yeah, baby! Let's go! Come on!
Here they come, Joe, our next competitors.
We have 48‐year‐old David Biggy
against 23‐year‐old Ashley Fernandez,
nicknamed Smalls.
I'm Ashley Fernandez.
I am a master's student at my college,
and I'm also on the golf team.
Whoo‐hoo!
I've been competing in golf since I was 12 years old,
and at my college, I was the shortest on my team,
so everyone called me Smalls.
Everyone better watch out
because amazing things do come in small packages.
I'm David Biggy. I'm 48 years old.
I'm from Barnegat, New Jersey,
and everybody knows me as just Biggy.
Yeah, baby! Ooh!
I love miniature golf so much.
You put me on a mini golf course anywhere, any time,
in any weather condition, and I'm playing.
Being a journalist, I even get to write
about miniature golf in my paper.
See? Check it out.
This is what I do all summer.
I never booked a flight before.
I'd never flown cross‐country before.
I even got prescription goggles,
so I'm gonna make sure Biggy walks out of here
as the "Holey Moley" champion.
[ Cheers and applause ]
David Biggy, there he is, dressed the part.
He writes a series in the paper
titled "Can You Beat Biggy?",
where readers challenge him
at various mini golf courses throughout the area.
I thought it was, can you beat him with a stick?
[ Stammers ]
You got to really power it on this tee shot
to get it up the face of this giant pinball machine.
The best possible outcome results
if the ball goes into Putter Ducky.
Better than a ball coming out of Uranus.
♪♪
He hit it right to Uranus.
Oh, but it kicks out. It's going down to Bunyan.
It's gonna be... Putt Bunyan.
What's gonna happen here?
Ohhhhh. Get in there!
Let's see if the ramp comes into play.
Not bad. Not bad.
Not bad at all for Biggy.
Now Biggy has to get across the flippers
to avoid a stroke penalty.
Uh‐oh.
Look at how much movement there is
to the two flippers here on The Parcade.
I need my goggles.
What's he trying to figure out there?
They're in my sweatshirt.
He's asking for...
Right pocket. His goggles.
Hey, Riggle.
Look at these, baby. [ Chuckles ]
I'm looking, my friend.
They're not helping the situation.
Can he even see out of those goggles?
I think they're blacked out.
I think he's just gonna do this in the dark.
He's facing some fears here.
He had never been on a plane before he flew out to be here.
Really?
So he just overcame that.
And now he's got to face this.
You see that shimmer there on the flippers?
You can actually see frost.
Look at the frost.
That is actual condensation that is froze.
Truly, that is extreme.
It's extreme mini golf, Joe.
No one's gonna be able to navigate that.
Tessitore: Welcome back to "Holey Moley,"
and Round 1 action continues here on The Parcade.
David Biggy ‐‐
he's got to make it across those flippers,
trying to avoid the stroke penalty.
Water's looking pretty good right now.
Here he goes.
Oh! God ‐‐ No!
Uh, that was the worst. He missed everything.
I don't believe he actually jumped.
Watch this ‐‐ He just goes straight into the water.
The trajectory of his body never rises.
It only goes down.
Look at ‐‐ Look where the flippers are.
He couldn't have timed it any worse. [ Laughs ]
[ Laughing ] He kept running.
Yeah. There was like almost a cartoon effect of mid‐air.
Those goggles were blacked out. [ Laughs ] Yes.
He wore those on the plane,
flying out here to get through it.
Now, here's Ashley Fernandez. She's working on her MBA.
Her family set up a "Holey Moley" style
mini golf course at their house.
and they've gamble a little bit on it,
play for a little bit of cash.
Pay off some of those student loans,
I would imagine.
♪♪
Ashley is away.
She's just off the lip, off to the left.
It's Putt Bunyan. Putt Bunyan.
And here we go on the other end.
Biggy: Oh. That was a good shot.
It's right up against that ramp.
So her backswing could be affected here.
She could do herself a big favor
by getting over the flippers.
Oh, she's gonna get a run up.
She's way too far back.
♪♪
Oh! [ Shouts gibberish ] [ Ashley screams ]
[ Laughs ] [ Stammers ]
She stopped! That's ‐‐
Now that's the worst.
She hit the brakes and nearly came to a complete stop
before the first flipper.
And then now she's like, "Oh, it's going back up.
Maybe I should accel," but...
Oh, the slip. Oh! Ugh!
And then the belly flop
and the deriding "game over."
If that is any indication of things to come...
Oh, this is gonna be glorious.
That's a lifer.
From the cold water
to the hot pressure of this putt.
They both lie 2.
Come on, Ashley.
[ Chuckles ] Just watch and learn.
♪♪
Riggle: Ooh! It lips out.
Oh, what a tough break for Ashley.
Tessitore: And that really opens the door now.
David Biggy will be putting for the win here.
Alright. Easy stroke, dude.
Can Biggy come up big?
He does! He did it!
Yeah! That's what I'm talking about.
Hey, check it out, baby! I'm going on!
David Biggy on to round number 2.
He's one step closer
to the chance at a quarter million dollars.
Who knows our next battle here?
Yeah. Sheila Kim and Jane Hammer.
Now, how do you know that kind of stuff?
I did my research. Yeah, it's my job to be the organized one.
Matter of fact, I'll take over the play‐by‐play right now.
Oh, you want to do the play‐by‐play? For this one, yep.
Okay. You do the play‐by‐play, and I'll be the funny guy.
Okay. Hey, hey!
Look at me! I'm Robby Riggle!
What's going on there? About 20 Santas in red.
Now I'm wondering, are those real beards, Joe?
I'm not sure that's how it goes, Rob. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let's see if Jeannie Mai knows more.
Santa loves to relax with 18 holes,
and this one is his favorite,
Ho Ho Hole.
Golfers tee up off
and down the side of a steep brick slope.
If they make it in Santa's special,
they'll end up with the best ball placement on the green.
If not, their ball could end up
in the nice or the naughty,
which both sounds fun for different reasons.
Then to get to the green, they'll need to take a ride
on Santa's sleigh,
which is headed straight for the North Pole.
[ Man screams ]
If they can't hold on and fall in,
it's a one‐stroke penalty.
Wow! What do we have here, Joe?
Well, it's funny you should ask.
We have Sheila Kim, 38,
from Seattle, Washington,
and Jane Hammer, 41,
from Chandler, Arizona.
You know, Joe,
my grandmother once had a tablecloth
that looked just like that mini skirt.
[ Laughs ] Joe, you're the worst.
I'm Jane. I'm Sheila.
Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
You're going down. [ Laughs ] Ooh.
♪♪
What's up, "Holey Moley." This is Sheila Kim.
I'm from Seattle, and I own a kickboxing gym.
♪♪
My putting skills are amazing
because I have great hand‐eye coordination.
Whoo‐hoo!
I work out six times a week.
I definitely have an advantage
over my competitors.
I'm gonna come kick your butt.
Hi. I'm Jane Hammer.
I'm 41 years old, and I'm from Chandler, Arizona,
and I am the Marathon Mom of mini golf.
Whoo! "Holey Moley," I have arrived!
I've run 12 full marathons and countless half marathons,
but motherhood is the toughest marathon I've ever done.
I'm still in it.
We are a huge "Holey Moley" family.
[ All scream ]
When my family goes mini golfing,
everyone else is playing for second.
They already know Mom's gonna win.
Whoo! Hammer time!
Bring on that golden putter.
Yeah!
Jane Hammer to get us started here on Ho Ho Hole.
Jane may have a shot there. She just missed.
Jane: Oh, come on! Come on! Oh, no.
Got to stay away from that naughty.
Needs to kick, and it doesn't at all.
[ Chuckling ] No!
There it is.
That's gonna be a very tough position.
Snowman 45 feet from the cup.
Okay. I can't reach the pull.
Do we have a footstool for such an occasion?
The apple box is brought out for Jane
so she can reach up there.
Oh, here she goes.
It's Hammer time!
[ Crowd cheers ]
[ Jane screams ] Oh! No!
That was a bad plunge!
Look at how uncomfortable she is.
Well, now let's take a look.
Look at the strain.
Oh, and she ‐‐ I mean, she got the legs wrapped.
She ‐‐ Wow!
That is just a bad fall
from the North Pole.
And right there. [ Chuckles ]
At this moment, right here, is when she realized,
"I really don't want to be here."
Sheila Kim now has a big opportunity,
if she can avoid going into that naughty slot.
♪♪
Oh.
Remember her rival Jane
went into that naughty slot on the right.
Ohh! Sheila: No!
Oh!
I'm not naughty all the time.
And there's the ball for Sheila Kim.
She's actually further to the outside,
which could be beneficial.
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Moment of truth for Sheila Kim
has arrived right now.
[ Sleigh bells jingle ]
Hold on, Sheila!
Whoa! Oh!
No, I got ‐‐ Whoa!
What has she done?
They're gonna wind it up and send her back.
She missed.
Oh, she won't let go!
Oh! Finally.
Take the plunge, Sheila.
She could've stayed on there all day.
This is the kind of athlete that Steph Curry has envisioned
to take "Holey Moley" to the next level.
That's the thing I love about "Holey Moley" ‐‐
we push our competitors to the edge.
♪♪
We do this for you. America.
Tessitore: We're back here on "Holey Moley,"
where our Round 1 action continues.
While you were away, kickboxing instructor Sheila Kim
was off to a fighting start from the naughty corner
of Ho Ho Hole.
Riggle: Oh!
Ahhhh!
And seemed to be on the front foot...
until the snow put the brakes on.
Oh! [ Chuckles ]
Then Marathon Mom Jane Hammer
ran it home for the win.
Whoo‐hoo! [ Crowd cheers ]
Jane Hammer is our third golfer on to Round 2.
Only one spot remains.
Alright.
Now it is time to debut another new hole
on "Holey Moley."
Joe...
Yeah? Quick question.
What do you think of that sign right there?
Something looks off.
Well, it's spelled wrong.
No, no, no. That's not what it is.
[ Ticking ]
[ Electricity crackles ]
♪ Ahhhhhh ♪ Oh.
Donut Hole!
That's exactly correct. It's Donut Hole.
Golfers begin by putting down a long curved ramp to the green.
They themselves, though, have to swing from giant donut
to giant donut... [ Man screams ]
...without falling into the box of sprinkles.
If you do, it's a stroke penalty.
Man: Aaah! Help me!
Aaaah!
[ Crowd cheers ] Wilson: Yeah!
Whoo‐hoo‐hoo!
Here comes our last Round 1 battle.
It's between Wilson Engel,
a student pastor,
and pro golfer Jacob Golliday.
Hi. I'm Jacob Golliday, born and raised Outer Banks.
Here we go.
So I've been golfing my whole life.
Mom played in college, and she made sure
I was swinging a club before I was ever taken a step.
I am a current professional long driver.
There we go, baby!
I'm actually number 25 in the world.
I'm known as the Nomad of Golf
probably because of this look I got going.
I've been growing my hair, I think, about 28 months.
Just got it brushed today for the first time in four weeks.
Thank you, guys, in hair and makeup.
Hey, everybody. I'm Wilson Engel.
I'm 25 years old from Euless, Texas,
and I'm a student pastor.
♪ Hallelujah! ♪
Even though I'm a pastor,
deep down, I'm really competitive.
Whoo‐hoo!
I have taken my youth group miniature golfing,
and they love it.
It's so fun getting to destroy them
in miniature golf.
Ooh, yeah!
If I'm not praying,
I'm putting all the time.
♪♪
There is Wilson Engel.
He's The Pastor Putter.
I like that ‐‐ The Pastor Putter.
He says he can do a very realistic air horn sound.
I can, too. Nope.
Fr‐fr‐fr‐frrrah!
Fr‐frrrah!
Fr‐fr‐fr‐frrrah!
You know, these amplify the sound, right?
Do they? It's right there, going right into that mic.
So, that was probably pretty loud, huh?
That was very loud ‐‐ very, very loud.
I didn't even think about that. Thank you.
[ Softly ] Fr‐fr‐fr‐frrrah.
Wilson Engel putting first.
Here it comes.
‐Pretty solid. ‐Solid roll, dude.
Down the ramp,
onto the slope where extra sprinkles reside,
and off the white sprinkle
and towards the hole!
Wow! How about that?
That was a great putt.
[ Crowd cheers ]
Now he has to climb
from swinging donut to swinging donut
and avoid dropping in to the colored sprinkles.
Jacob: See what you got, buddy.
[ Laughs ]
♪♪
[ Crowd cheering ]
Oh!
[ Laughs ] Oh, Wilson.
Wilson: Dang it!
He was up there.
A little Humpty Dumpty for a moment.
Oh, Wilson.
Jacob Golliday,
Division I college baseball player,
who turned to golf.
How long's it take to grow that hair, Joe?
Oh, I would say, uh, six and a half years.
Yes. Rob, would you ever?
Well, all I can say is that the beard I grew
for "Holey Moley"...
That was a very nice beard. ...this year,
that took me about a year, which, contractually,
I had to shave off. That's correct.
You waited till the day I showed up for work?
I was gonna see how far you took it. Oh, God.
[ Crowd cheers ]
Jacob Golliday, his putt.
He's away, Joe.
Anything can happen when it gets on that ramp
with the extra sprinkles.
He misses all the sprinkles,
and it runs past the cup. Ooh.
Well, you got to make it through the donuts!
Jacob: Alright.
Jacob Golliday. First donut.
Oh, wait. What's he doing?
Oh!
He's showboating ‐‐ Man on the moon.
Jacob Golliday now onto the second donut.
[ Crowd shouts ] No!
He went down in a "glaze" of glory.
Glaze of glory? You see what I did there?
Is that a donut pun?
Yeah. Pound it.
Give it to me.
"Donut" leave me hanging, Joe.
You ‐‐ [ Laughs ] Boom!
Let's get back to the game.
Jacob and Wilson both lie 2.
Jacob is away.
♪♪
Oh!
Just missed to the left.
Just a bit outside.
Oh, man.
Wilson Engel now putting for the win.
[ Crowd cheers ] Oh, he's in.
He puts it right in.
Wow.
Wilson Engel, the student pastor from Texas,
defeated the professional golfer
to advance to Round 2,
and he's one step closer
to a shot at a quarter million dollars.
And it looks like Jacob
won't be leaving empty‐handed.
Good evening.
Kevin Negandhi here with Stephen Curry's news
about his move to take mini golf pro.
Reporter: Stephen. Stephen.
You know, my vision... of turning "Holey Moley"
into the biggest spectator sport of this century
is just within reach.
We're just missing a few small things,
like a loyal fan base and the sponsors and the teams.
And people, in general, knowing that "Holey Moley" is a thing.
But, hey, we do have "Holey Moley" trading cards.
Draymond: You know, I'd love to finish by saying,
this is a really dumb ‐‐ Thanks, Draymond.
Thanks for coming. Thank you all for being here.
And just remember, you know, we're going places.
Reporter: Stephen! Stephen! Reporter #2: Stephen! Stephen!
Right here. Right here. Right here.
♪♪
[ Crowd cheers ]
Tessitore: Back here at "Holey Moley."
Thrilled you're with us as we go to our Round 2
sudden‐death playoffs.
Firing up first with Dutch Courage En Fuego.
Contestants must get their ball
and then themselves through flaming windmills.
Aah!
If you're knocked into the water,
it's a stroke penalty.
[ Crowd cheers ]
Let's golf. Come on.
We back, baby. We back. Let's go.
Tessitore: This is a matchup between David Biggy,
who came up a winner on The Parcade,
and 6'6" Leo Svete,
who took top place on Putt‐A‐Saurus.
Riggle: This is truly David versus Goliath.
David Biggy up first
as the fire continues to roar at Dutch Courage En Fuego.
That's a very nice putt.
Pace is just right.
David: Get in that hole. Get to that hole. Let's go!
And that'll settle
and leave him with a very manageable putt.
Very nice.
David Biggy must now navigate the flames and the fury
of these spinning blades.
Let's go, man. Scuba Steve.
Do I look like an idiot or what?
[ Both laugh ]
Riggle: He wears the goggles
when there's a threat of water around.
That's like gaff tape across his face.
He can't see.
I'm gonna go ahead and say he's getting wet.
Got a bit of a boxer's bounce going on there.
He's using the elbow like a cat whisker.
The elbow's a mistake.
Aaaah!
Oh!
The face went right into the side of the structure.
Roll the ugliness.
Alright. Here we go.
Oh!
He ragdolled.
[ Crowd cheering ]
He's got that bounce working again,
getting the blood moving.
♪♪
You got to watch for the deep vein thrombosis.
♪♪
You gotta be careful.
♪♪
Oh ‐‐ Oh! Ugh!
Ugh.
Better than the last.
He went in backwards.
Oh. This is the one.
Look at that freeze right there. Ugh.
Oh, that's good. Look, he's not quite in.
He's not quite on.
He's in that wonderful no man's land. [ Laughs ]
[ Crowd groans ]
Oh.
I'm not sure if he understands
what we're supposed to be doing here.
You're not getting judged for the wipeouts.
Leo Svete.
Looks like a small putter for a man that big, doesn't it?
♪♪
Too much on it.
[ Crowd cheers, groans ]
Much too much on it.
Leo: I'm not getting wet.
Unh‐unh.
6'6" Leo Svete.
That's a lot of frame to get through
that window of opportunity.
Oh!
Too tall.
The engine was through. The caboose wasn't.
Man, Leo looked like he was through ‐‐
Another inch or two,
and he might have had enough body
on the other side of the blade to survive. Yeah.
Now, Leo Svete still has the other windmill to deal with.
If he can get through, he will have a stroke advantage
against David Biggy.
Beware the blades.
♪♪
Oh! See, that's what you were describing.
If you get enough of the body through,
even if you do get hit, perhaps you survive.
He's got about 20 chiro appointments
coming up right now. Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, it's about 20.
Leo lies 2.
David Biggy lies 3.
This is where the rubber meets the road.
Another classic death match, Joe.
Or is he gonna putt between the legs?
Is he really gonna putt that way?
A chance for the final round.
Will this be the moment for Leo?
Good ‐‐ Yeah. It was a good putt considering, wasn't it?
Not bad at all.
I'll live with that. Pressure's on, Dave.
Both of our competitors sit 3.
Who will take a step closer
to a quarter million dollar opportunity?
Svete versus Biggy!
Biggy versus Svete!
You microphone is on top of your head.
Nobody can hear you.
I knew that.
I was just testing you.
And you passed!
[ Heartbeat ]
David: Yeah, baby. He does it.
I told you.
[ Crowd cheers ]
Leo: I'm so cold. I can't focus, man.
If Leo Svete misses this one,
David Biggy is in the final round.
[ Crowd cheers ] Oh, no. And it just stayed.
David Biggy will play for The Golden Putter.
Whoo!
Good job, bro.
Yeah. Biggy's going on, baby.
Tessitore: David Biggy, the 48‐year‐old newspaper writer
from New Jersey, is gonna be in the final round.
Two times, he was crushed by the windmill blades,
and now he's playing for The Golden Putter.
We'll be back after this.
Tessitore: Welcome back to "Holey Moley."
This is a big one here. It's a Round 2 matchup
for the last spot in the final round.
[ Trumpet plays ]
‐Hey, let's go! ‐Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Riggle: Hey, look who's here.
Wilson: Here we go, here we go, here we go.
Jane Hammer and Wilson Engel.
Whoo‐hoo. Raise the roof.
‐Uh, what. Uh‐huh. ‐What, what?
Tessitore: It's a battle between Jane Hammer,
who won on Ho Ho Hole,
and Pastor Wilson Engel, victorious on Donut Hole.
It's King Parthur's Court.
First, our golfers have to tee down the checkered path,
make it over the gap, onto the green,
and bank their ball on the side of the sword,
and that will give them the better ball position.
If you want passage to the green,
you have to joust Sir Putts‐A‐Lot.
You get knocked off, and it's a stroke penalty.
[ Crowd cheers ]
Wilson Engel will be first to tee off.
Easy‐peasy.
Easy‐peasy lemon‐squeezy, you know?
♪♪
Riggle: Here we go.
Tessitore: Over the ramp.
Oh! Oh! Up.
And it goes over to the far right.
Not too bad.
[ Trumpet plays ]
Yeah!
That horn was actually Wilson Engel.
It was Wilson Engel who says that he can make
a realistic air horn sound.
Fr‐fr‐fr‐frrrah!
Fr‐frrrah!
Fr‐fr‐fr‐frrrah!
I didn't ask.
Waw‐waw, waw‐waw! Waw‐waw! Whoop‐whoop ‐‐
Hey! I think we're ready.
[ Crowd cheers ]
Wilson Engel versus Sir Putts‐A‐Lot.
[ Horse neighs ]
Bring it on!
Well, he takes the blow right to the chin!
Oh, he goes down hard!
It's hard to balance yourself on a slick horse.
That deserves a replay right now!
There's the strike right to the chin.
And then a little delayed reaction.
He slips for‐‐ Oh, I see what happened.
What happened? Go for it, Rob. Let's play it.
His joust... Yes.
...hooks him in the back
and thrusts him forward.
Oh, he should've dropped the lance.
Oh, look at that face.
He feels good about what he's accomplished,
doesn't he, Sir Putts‐A‐Lot?
Knocking civilians into the water.
♪♪
And now Jane Hammer.
It's Hammer time!
The Marathon Mom, she needs distance and pace
to get up the ramp and onto the green.
Does it have enough? It takes the bounce.
And she is on the green.
Ooh.
She's in a pickle.
That's a very hard putt over the sword,
especially that end of the sword.
[ Trumpet plays ]
Jane calls herself a shot of whiskey in a teacup.
I like that.
If she is, indeed, a whiskey shot in a teacup,
she probably shouldn't be riding a horse.
Now she's got the lance in the wrong hand.
It's resting between the horse's ears.
It's not even pointing at Sir Putts‐A‐Lot.
Jane: Unh‐unh. [ Laughs ]
He takes it right to the chest. She goes down. [ Laughs ]
With the lance in her arm, she goes down.
Now this is entertainment.
I mean, that's just a straight‐up joust to the chest.
Ooh! Right to the sternum.
Have a safe trip. Oh, that's a good one, Jane.
Wow. Watch how she enters the water here.
This is a stinger right there. Oh.
When you are staring up at your feet... Uh‐huh.
...when you enter the cold water,
not good. Not good.
[ Crowd cheers ]
Whoo‐hoo!
Let me get the pin for you.
Oh, what a gentlemen.
Riggle: Good manners on display here at "Holey Moley."
Tessitore: Very good manners. Wilson: Thank you, sir.
I think Wilson's happy because he sees his position
compared to Jane's.
Oh, I have a sword in the way of my ball.
Wilson: Just a little sword.
Tessitore: And it's unlike any ridge
that we typically have on a "Holey Moley" green,
has a very sharp tip to it.
Can take an extreme bounce and act as a ramp.
41‐year‐old mom of three from Arizona.
Jane: Come back off there. Come on, baby.
Comes back. Riggle: Bank shot on the comeback.
Almost made it, Joe.
The bank ramp helped her out tremendously.
She can tap in for a 4.
Yeah.
Wilson: Very nice.
Very nice.
Wilson Engel will be putting for the win
and a trip to tonight's final round.
♪♪
Wilson has a little ace up his sleeve.
What is it?
God.
Whoo‐hoo!
Answers the call.
The Pastor Putter makes the putt.
Wilson Engel will be playing for a championship tonight.
All the final round action
when we come back to "Holey Moley."
Tessitore: Welcome back to "Holey Moley,"
and here we are ‐‐ the final round.
Mini golf superfan David Biggy
up against The Pastor Putter, Wilson Engel.
They're playing for that prized plaid jacket.
They're going for The Golden Putter
and the chance to putt
for a quarter million dollars in the season finale.
And what better hole to decide a championship on
the the classic Hole Number Two.
All in hips.
Jeannie Mai is there to run us through it. Jeannie?
This may be Hole Number Two,
but it's definitely my whole number one.
Golfers start by teeing off down a narrow 30‐foot channel.
Then when the light turns green,
they'll try to make it across
before the occupants finish their business
and those doors start flying open.
If they happen to get knocked down into the brown,
it's a one‐stroke penalty.
Ew! Thanks, Jeannie.
David Biggy will have
the first tee shot.
Hello, ball!
♪♪
[ Crowd cheers ] This is a good putt.
Get over there! Get over there!
Off the ramp.
Come on, baby! Give me something. Ohhh.
It's gonna glide down and settle in,
and he is in position there.
Now, when we have seen
David Biggy prepare for obstacles,
he had put on these welders' goggles,
and he does it again, Riggle.
It's obviously protective wear,
but I think it's just a cool factor, too.
Guy who's played 75 mini golf courses
all over his home state of New Jersey,
but he has never faced anything like this.
[ Sighs ]
[ Buzzer blares ]
[ Crowd cheers ]
Porta potty to the face!
Here's Biggy's replay.
Golfer against porta potty.
Plopping in is David Biggy.
Don't say plop, please.
Big moment for Wilson Engel.
He's come up with clutch putts
to punch his ticket to this final round.
♪♪
Oh, no! Oh!
He'll be putting from the drop zone.
And remember, his chief rival here
is in perfect position.
♪♪
[ Buzzer blares ] Here we go.
Well, it's a slow start.
Can he get to the end? Oh!
And he goes in hard. Oh!
♪♪
Now I see. When you say plop, now I get it.
That was a big plop.
♪♪
David Biggy... Alright. Yeah!
...is in a very good spot to close things out.
Oh, look at him.
He's just standing next to that jacket.
He wants it so bad.
Wilson Engel is from the drop zone.
Just steaming.
It's freezing cold.
♪♪
Wilson: Alright. That looks good.
Round and round it goes.
Nice! Took a funny little hop coming off the ramp,
but it is in good position.
[ Crowd cheers ]
Wilson Engel lies 3.
David Biggy sits 2.
It's all Biggy, man.
Wilson: All Biggy.
A championship on the line.
A chance to stay the course for a quarter million dollars.
♪♪
Yeah, baby!
Put it in! There it is!
Put a stamp on it.
David Biggy will play for the quarter million dollars
in the season finale.
Golden Putter in his grasp.
And one of the most stately ceremonies
in all of extreme mini golf ‐‐
putting on the plaid jacket.
Yeah, baby! Whoo!
Now the moment that all extreme mini golfers dream of.
Curry: You did it tonight.
Enjoy that green jacket.
Wear it out. Wear it proud.
Yeah!
But maybe get it dry‐cleaned first.
Powerful words. Mm.
This guy's not gonna be able to sleep tonight.
David: How's it going, Rob Riggle, Tessitore?
Thanks for being here. Oh, you're welcome, David.
That was nice of you to say that.
But we get paid to be here.
Thanks for joining us.
See you next time.