1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:04,296
So Dan's sex doll's
been living with me. Um...

2
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:06,465
After he threw her away last
week, I-I went and I got her

3
00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:09,051
and I took her home,
so she's living with me.

4
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,678
And, um, she talks to me.

5
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:13,305
- You hear the voice in your head

6
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,390
when you're looking at the doll
or is the doll...?

7
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,976
- The sound comes from her, um, head.

8
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,394
From her face. You know.

9
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:21,396
Like, she can move her face.

10
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:22,648
Like, she... opens her mouth and stuff

11
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:23,941
and she can, like, move her eyes

12
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,193
and make expressions and stuff.

13
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,694
But she can't move her, uh, head.

14
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:30,030
Like the-the head part
of her head. You know.

15
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,281
- The skull?
- The skull.

16
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,824
The-- Well,
the cranium or whatever.

17
00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:34,409
It's, like, kind of frustrating,

18
00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:35,953
'cause I have to do everything for her.

19
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,121
- What kind of stuff
do you have to do for her?

20
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,957
- Um, she made me buy her
one of those T-shirts

21
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,625
that says "The Future is Female."

22
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,794
- [laughs softly]
- And she wants a new vagina.

23
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:47,005
She wants, like,
a Cherry Blossom 7 series?

24
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:48,423
You know these...

25
00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,133
Well, they're expensive,

26
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,302
and I told her I couldn't
afford it, and she was like,

27
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,512
"Well, you're a fucking dick."

28
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:54,888
[laughs]:
So...

29
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:58,141
- You know, we see this
a lot in children.

30
00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,768
The invention of an imaginary friend?

31
00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,812
It's a very common coping mechanism.

32
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,314
- Right. Like Drop Dead Fred.
- I haven't seen that one.

33
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,149
- Well, eh, it's just okay.
I mean...

34
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,776
I kind of kept hoping
that they would hook up.

35
00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:10,279
- Anyway, imaginary friends usually pop up

36
00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:13,156
during a time of transition,
a time of growth.

37
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,409
- Oh, no. They kissed, I think.

38
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,202
I can't remember.
- It's less common in adults,

39
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:19,538
sure, but I think this...

40
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,665
Does she have a name?

41
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,375
- Barbara.

42
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,378
- I think this Barbara

43
00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:31,592
represents a part of you that
really wants to help heal you.

44
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,468
- Really?
- Yes.

45
00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:36,471
So, as long as she's not suggesting

46
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,932
you cause physical harm
to yourself or others,

47
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:42,352
I say embrace her.

48
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,438
BARBARA:
I've been doing some thinking.

49
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,857
We should kill Dan.
- What?

50
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,860
[dramatic organ music plays]

51
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:50,903
We're not, we're not talking about this.

52
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:52,154
We're not doing that.
- Cody.

53
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,114
Dan stole the best years of my life,

54
00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:57,701
and he literally threw me out
like I was fucking garbage.

55
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,162
He ravaged my vagina like all men do.

56
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,372
- Okay, we're not killing Dan.
- Why?

57
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,708
- And I'm sorry that he, like,
ravaged your pussy...

58
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,628
- Thank you.
- ...but here's the thing, babe.

59
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,254
You can't say stuff like that.

60
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:10,547
- Why not?
- 'Cause my therapist told me

61
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,299
that if you did, I had to get rid of you.

62
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,384
- Well, you can tell your
therapist to go fucking shove

63
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,470
up a-- I love her.

64
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,556
Because I was joking.

65
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,308
- I know you're just saying that
so that I won't get rid of you.

66
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,893
You're me. I know.

67
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,103
And, like... this week
has been fun or whatever,

68
00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:28,065
but, like, I mean, you're really
mean to me all the time,

69
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,817
and we haven't actually done any
work on the tooth fairy pilot.

70
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,694
- Cody, I have to be
totally honest with you.

71
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:37,032
[whispers]:
Like... your pilot's a piece of shit.

72
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,825
- What are you--
what are you talking about?

73
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,786
In the dumpster the other night,
you were, like, excited.

74
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,204
You were pitching me all this stuff.

75
00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,413
- We put lipstick on a pig.

76
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,831
Like, it's really bad, honey.

77
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,167
If it was on TV, I'd literally
rather kill myself.

78
00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:48,794
- Okay, well, I have to write a pilot.

79
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,170
I have to write something.

80
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,630
My agent told me that it...
[chuckles]

81
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,882
doesn't have to be anything.
- [gasps] Us.

82
00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,134
- What-- Us what?
- The pilot's us.

83
00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,470
A quirky, fun-loving sex doll
and her chunky human friend

84
00:02:58,554 --> 00:02:59,888
taking on the world together.

85
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,849
I mean, it's, like, aspirational.

86
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,767
- Okay, I just want to go back,
'cause when you say chunky,

87
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,477
you say it as though, like, it's obvious.

88
00:03:05,561 --> 00:03:06,770
- Dude. It's, like, female empowerment.

89
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:07,938
I mean, it's literally got everything.

90
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,565
It could be, like, a feminist masterpiece

91
00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:13,110
or some shit.
- Like, but how's it feminist?

92
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,736
- What do you mean? All of it.

93
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,321
Just, it's there. You know?

94
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,365
- I don't know, it's kind of
like a broad concept

95
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,741
to, like, try and say
something super important.

96
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,201
- Oh, my God, you are being so stupid.

97
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:23,620
Trust me, it's such a good idea, I swear.
[phone vibrates]

98
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,581
- Okay. Oh, shit, I got to go.

99
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,790
- What?

100
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,000
Is it Dan?
- No.

101
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,585
- Ugh, you're leaving me for Dan's?

102
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,044
Why? We just started riffing.

103
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,088
Cody. Cody, if you leave right now,

104
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,798
I am not helping you with your pilot.

105
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,676
And it's basically already
written in my head. Ha, ha, ha!

106
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:40,888
I'm laughing at a joke on
page nine right now! [chuckles]

107
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,931
[dramatic music playing over TV]

108
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,353
WOMAN [on TV]:
He just told me, "Stay away.

109
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:50,814
I've smelled this smell before."

110
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,608
I said, "What are you talking about?"

111
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:57,196
And he goes, "It smells
like somebody's dead."

112
00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:59,364
- What's up?
- Oh, uh, nothing,

113
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:00,908
I thought I-- never mind.

114
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,284
- Hmm?
- Are you okay?

115
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,702
I'm great.

116
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,121
Just collecting alloys.
- Yeah.

117
00:04:06,205 --> 00:04:07,206
- You okay?

118
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,208
- Yeah. I'm okay.

119
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,001
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

120
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:18,091
Um...

121
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:21,553
Okay, so...

122
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,140
Wh...

123
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,434
What if...

124
00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:31,104
after you threw out

125
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:35,108
the sex doll, um...

126
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,945
what if I went into the garbage
and I took her out

127
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:40,906
and I took her home with me

128
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:46,119
and we became roommates and...

129
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:49,456
she was, like, talking to me?

130
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,211
- That's fucking brilliant!

131
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:57,548
- Um...

132
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,759
- That's your new pilot?

133
00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:02,761
Oh, my God, and you were scared

134
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,388
I'd be mad because it's about us?

135
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,598
- I guess I was, yeah.

136
00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:10,561
- Baby, this is so much fucking better
than that tooth fairy thing.

137
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:14,314
This is insane.
It's, like, a modern feminist Mister Ed.

138
00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:17,526
- Totally. Yeah.

139
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,990
Barbara, I missed you while I was gone

140
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:26,535
and I was thinking about
that idea that we...

141
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,080
No, I haven't talked to Dan about it.

142
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,499
[laughs]: Like, why would I
even bring it up to him?

143
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,209
It's...

144
00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:36,753
Are we, like, in a fight?
Come on. Like, we're adults.

145
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,672
We're not gonna...

146
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:43,302
Barbara, that outfit is dope!

147
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:44,511
[quietly]:
Fuck.

148
00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:46,305
[exhales]

149
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,807
["If You Were Here"
by Thompson Twins plays]

150
00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:55,230
♪

151
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:57,316
[tires screeching]

152
00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:06,366
Barbara... you're right.

153
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:10,204
I didn't trust you
because I didn't trust myself.

154
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:11,872
♪ If you were here ♪

155
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,499
♪ I could deceive you ♪

156
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:18,003
But now that you're in my life...

157
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,672
♪ And if you were here ♪

158
00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:22,674
♪ You would believe... ♪

159
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:26,512
...something's been changing inside me.

160
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,472
♪ But would you suspect ♪

161
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,766
♪ My emotion... ♪

162
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,894
I've been thinking about what it means
to be a woman in this world,

163
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,396
and I don't want to do it
like that anymore.

164
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:40,317
♪ A part of this anymore... ♪

165
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,362
The time has come for us
to lift each other up.

166
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:46,031
And heal each other.

167
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:54,248
It's time for a new beginning.

168
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,673
♪ If you were here ♪

169
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:06,969
♪ I could deceive you ♪

170
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,681
♪ And if you were here... ♪