1 00:00:06,101 --> 00:00:09,861 ‎NETFLIX 原創影集 2 00:00:16,021 --> 00:00:17,941 ‎梅? 3 00:00:19,501 --> 00:00:20,381 ‎梅? 4 00:00:21,581 --> 00:00:22,581 ‎抱歉 5 00:00:24,021 --> 00:00:25,141 ‎妳在做惡夢 6 00:00:26,221 --> 00:00:28,941 ‎妳一直喊史考特,誰是史考特? 7 00:00:30,141 --> 00:00:31,661 ‎他是我朋友 8 00:00:33,221 --> 00:00:35,301 ‎他是我以前的室友,我的天啊 9 00:00:35,981 --> 00:00:37,701 ‎這夢太糟糕了 10 00:00:40,221 --> 00:00:41,501 ‎妳想談談嗎? 11 00:00:42,381 --> 00:00:43,701 ‎不用,沒關係 12 00:00:47,901 --> 00:00:49,741 ‎但我的確有事要跟妳談 13 00:00:51,661 --> 00:00:53,861 ‎這對我們的感情會是個問題 14 00:00:54,461 --> 00:00:55,301 ‎什麼事? 15 00:00:56,421 --> 00:00:57,261 ‎喬治 16 00:00:58,501 --> 00:00:59,741 ‎妳知道我是吸血鬼 17 00:00:59,821 --> 00:01:01,341 ‎那表示我是不死之身 18 00:01:01,421 --> 00:01:05,301 ‎而妳只是個普通的人類女孩 19 00:01:05,381 --> 00:01:06,981 ‎我不笨,好嗎? 20 00:01:07,061 --> 00:01:09,701 ‎我知道妳四百歲了,而我還是高中生 21 00:01:10,261 --> 00:01:12,301 ‎但我只想在舞會之夜破處 22 00:01:22,461 --> 00:01:23,621 ‎-請進 ‎-嗨 23 00:01:24,621 --> 00:01:26,861 ‎嗨,今天有什麼問題呢? 24 00:01:26,941 --> 00:01:28,981 ‎我已經頭痛快一個禮拜了 25 00:01:29,061 --> 00:01:30,301 ‎一直好不了 26 00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,461 ‎這樣啊,那妳把內褲脫下來 27 00:01:32,541 --> 00:01:33,941 ‎我們看看怎麼處理 28 00:01:37,061 --> 00:01:39,261 ‎現在應該有水了,阿伯納西太太 29 00:01:39,341 --> 00:01:41,901 ‎希望我的工作能讓妳歡喜又滿意 30 00:01:41,981 --> 00:01:44,621 ‎-謝謝,妳是救命恩人 ‎-這是我該做的 31 00:01:44,701 --> 00:01:47,141 ‎糟糕,我的錢包好像沒有放在這裡 32 00:01:47,221 --> 00:01:48,181 ‎-是嗎? ‎-是啊 33 00:01:48,261 --> 00:01:50,781 ‎我可以請我先生付錢,但是他出差了 34 00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:52,661 ‎這真是壞消息,但是… 35 00:01:53,341 --> 00:01:55,261 ‎我相信我們可以想出… 36 00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,901 ‎對雙方都有利的解決辦法 37 00:01:59,341 --> 00:02:00,261 ‎天啊 38 00:02:04,261 --> 00:02:05,381 ‎大人 39 00:02:05,461 --> 00:02:08,221 ‎敵人已經來犯 ‎但還是沒有國王的蹤跡 40 00:02:10,141 --> 00:02:11,981 ‎我現在是妳的國王了,史蒂芬 41 00:02:12,061 --> 00:02:14,501 ‎是時候證明妳對王位的忠誠了 42 00:02:18,421 --> 00:02:20,021 ‎梅,家裡只有我們嗎? 43 00:02:20,581 --> 00:02:21,741 ‎是啊,我在裡面 44 00:02:30,101 --> 00:02:32,221 ‎雷普利? 45 00:02:32,301 --> 00:02:35,181 ‎異形逃出實驗室,跑到我屁股裡了 46 00:02:35,261 --> 00:02:36,581 ‎妳得幫我把牠弄出來 47 00:02:36,661 --> 00:02:39,581 ‎因為我可以感覺到 ‎異形在我的屁股裡震動 48 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,461 ‎驚喜! 49 00:02:45,181 --> 00:02:46,501 ‎生日快樂,老兄 50 00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,301 ‎喬治,這些奇怪的人是誰啊? 51 00:02:51,461 --> 00:02:52,981 ‎那是菲爾 52 00:02:53,061 --> 00:02:54,381 ‎梅的父母 53 00:02:54,461 --> 00:02:55,461 ‎克洛奇鮑爾斯 54 00:02:55,541 --> 00:02:58,501 ‎…演出密斯托弗里先生的孩子怯場了 55 00:02:58,581 --> 00:03:00,661 ‎所以喬伊絲轉頭對我說:“克洛奇 56 00:03:01,261 --> 00:03:03,901 ‎只有你能上台了 ‎你可以唱到高八度的C調 57 00:03:03,981 --> 00:03:06,341 ‎而且你有完美的節奏感” 58 00:03:06,421 --> 00:03:07,501 ‎好,我聽夠了 59 00:03:07,581 --> 00:03:10,301 ‎梅,妳可以把我們對準別人嗎? 60 00:03:10,381 --> 00:03:12,021 ‎妳真正的朋友呢,親愛的? 61 00:03:12,101 --> 00:03:13,861 ‎-濱琪和修 ‎-我不需要他們了 62 00:03:14,941 --> 00:03:16,741 ‎妳現在這樣說 63 00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:18,821 ‎要是妳和梅又分手會怎樣? 64 00:03:18,901 --> 00:03:19,741 ‎媽! 65 00:03:19,821 --> 00:03:22,821 ‎我不是說我想要那樣 ‎我希望妳們可以白頭到老 66 00:03:22,901 --> 00:03:26,141 ‎但要是妳們在很久以後真的分手了 67 00:03:26,221 --> 00:03:28,581 ‎妳需要適當的朋友讓妳依靠 68 00:03:29,701 --> 00:03:31,301 ‎妳為什麼要說這些話? 69 00:03:31,381 --> 00:03:33,101 ‎我全心全意投入我的婚姻 70 00:03:33,181 --> 00:03:35,741 ‎但妳爸離開後,我一個朋友都沒有 71 00:03:35,821 --> 00:03:37,221 ‎我最好的朋友就是妳 72 00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:39,621 ‎-那很可悲 ‎-對 73 00:03:40,981 --> 00:03:42,421 ‎打給濱琪,親愛的 74 00:03:42,501 --> 00:03:44,141 ‎說真的,這些人不行 75 00:03:47,341 --> 00:03:49,821 ‎我已經三十年沒見到我爸了 76 00:03:51,141 --> 00:03:52,661 ‎他會離開都要怪我 77 00:03:52,741 --> 00:03:54,541 ‎親愛的,我相信不是你的錯 78 00:03:54,621 --> 00:03:56,941 ‎馬爾康,我們又不曉得 ‎或許就是他的錯 79 00:03:59,581 --> 00:04:00,661 ‎我想念我朋友 80 00:04:03,141 --> 00:04:03,981 ‎什麼? 81 00:04:04,901 --> 00:04:07,341 ‎我說我想念我朋友,像是濱琪和修 82 00:04:11,421 --> 00:04:12,501 ‎老天,但是… 83 00:04:13,061 --> 00:04:15,941 ‎我以為他們讓妳覺得傷心又害怕 84 00:04:16,021 --> 00:04:17,181 ‎是啊,我知道 85 00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:22,301 ‎但她真的就像是我的姊妹 86 00:04:23,501 --> 00:04:25,701 ‎一個粗魯、下賤、讓人討厭的姊妹 87 00:04:27,661 --> 00:04:29,741 ‎我就那樣跟他們斷絕往來了 88 00:04:30,541 --> 00:04:32,021 ‎我真的很想念他們 89 00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:34,981 ‎我想邀他們來家裡 90 00:04:35,581 --> 00:04:36,781 ‎好吧 91 00:04:38,621 --> 00:04:41,141 ‎我不必待在這裡,我可以找地方去 92 00:04:41,661 --> 00:04:43,381 ‎-我就離開這裡 ‎-不,梅 93 00:04:43,941 --> 00:04:45,301 ‎我想要妳在場 94 00:04:45,861 --> 00:04:49,501 ‎我學到很多關於 ‎怎麼當一個積極好隊友的方法 95 00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:52,301 ‎還有…這次會很不一樣 96 00:04:53,421 --> 00:04:55,181 ‎我們現在狀況那麼好 97 00:04:57,981 --> 00:04:59,021 ‎那… 98 00:04:59,101 --> 00:05:00,741 ‎可以邀請他們來吃晚餐 99 00:05:00,821 --> 00:05:03,141 ‎讓他們看看我們之間有多火熱 100 00:05:04,141 --> 00:05:06,581 ‎我也可以見見妳加拿大的朋友啊 101 00:05:07,981 --> 00:05:08,821 ‎或許吧 102 00:05:09,381 --> 00:05:10,221 ‎太好了 103 00:05:10,301 --> 00:05:11,661 ‎那現在請妳… 104 00:05:17,861 --> 00:05:20,621 ‎我的經紀人說 ‎我要準備1小時的新題材 105 00:05:20,701 --> 00:05:22,821 ‎但現在我只想出了6分鐘 106 00:05:22,901 --> 00:05:24,181 ‎而且都跟樹懶有關 107 00:05:24,261 --> 00:05:26,981 ‎樹懶,還真符合現在的時代精神 108 00:05:27,581 --> 00:05:28,821 ‎妳在跟誰說話? 109 00:05:28,901 --> 00:05:30,021 ‎噢,是史考特 110 00:05:30,101 --> 00:05:31,261 ‎-我去別的房間 ‎-嗨 111 00:05:31,341 --> 00:05:32,501 ‎嘿 112 00:05:32,581 --> 00:05:33,541 ‎這是喬治 113 00:05:33,621 --> 00:05:36,181 ‎我知道,妳好嗎? ‎跟梅一起生活還順利嗎? 114 00:05:36,261 --> 00:05:38,221 ‎順利啊,很棒 115 00:05:38,301 --> 00:05:40,781 ‎她讓我睡不著覺,因為她會說夢話 116 00:05:40,861 --> 00:05:43,101 ‎這個時候妳就得幫她翻身 117 00:05:43,181 --> 00:05:45,661 ‎老實說,我有很長一段時間都睡沙發 118 00:05:45,741 --> 00:05:47,621 ‎-總之 ‎-真高興見到妳 119 00:05:47,701 --> 00:05:49,261 ‎或許哪天妳可以來加拿大 120 00:05:49,341 --> 00:05:51,221 ‎我帶妳去看看那些地標 121 00:05:51,301 --> 00:05:53,621 ‎就是那些遊民朝我丟洋蔥的熱狗攤 122 00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:55,221 ‎好啊,聽起來很棒 123 00:05:55,781 --> 00:05:56,741 ‎我得去準備了 124 00:05:56,821 --> 00:05:59,141 ‎-很高興見到你,史考特 ‎-好 125 00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:02,141 ‎她好性感,梅 126 00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:03,581 ‎下次親熱時視訊給我看 127 00:06:04,541 --> 00:06:05,781 ‎開玩笑的,聽著 128 00:06:05,861 --> 00:06:08,021 ‎很高興我們又像這樣聊了,真的很棒 129 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,621 ‎對啊,你對我來說很重要 130 00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:12,021 ‎是啊,妳也是 131 00:06:12,701 --> 00:06:15,301 ‎如果有人問起 ‎妳也會這樣說,對吧? 132 00:06:16,821 --> 00:06:19,101 ‎好吧,這不是什麼大事 133 00:06:19,741 --> 00:06:21,221 ‎但有個瘋女人 134 00:06:21,301 --> 00:06:23,981 ‎一直打電話給大家說我的壞話 135 00:06:24,061 --> 00:06:25,941 ‎說什麼壞話?我要宰了她 136 00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:28,741 ‎不曉得,她瘋了 ‎她也不一定會打給妳 137 00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:31,621 ‎但如果她打了 ‎妳會說我們沒事,對吧? 138 00:06:32,221 --> 00:06:33,901 ‎對…對啊? 139 00:06:33,981 --> 00:06:35,301 ‎妳就跟她說實話 140 00:06:35,381 --> 00:06:38,061 ‎我們彼此相愛,過去的事就過去了 141 00:06:38,141 --> 00:06:39,581 ‎我們現在是朋友,好嗎? 142 00:06:41,141 --> 00:06:42,181 ‎好,沒問題 143 00:06:42,261 --> 00:06:44,261 ‎酷,聽著,我得走了 144 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,581 ‎愛妳, 魯蛇,去跟喬治親熱吧 145 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,741 ‎我也愛你,掰 146 00:07:01,181 --> 00:07:03,061 ‎我是不是誤會了什麼? 147 00:07:03,141 --> 00:07:05,501 ‎史考特是妳的前室友還是前男友? 148 00:07:06,341 --> 00:07:08,141 ‎那些細節真的重要嗎? 149 00:07:08,221 --> 00:07:10,221 ‎不如我用吸塵器吸妳的屁股吧? 150 00:07:10,301 --> 00:07:12,941 ‎妳說你們住在一起多久,兩年? 151 00:07:13,021 --> 00:07:16,461 ‎梅,說真的,妳那時幾歲?他幾歲? 152 00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:18,541 ‎-靠,他們來了 ‎-好 153 00:07:18,621 --> 00:07:20,861 ‎我穿這樣可以嗎?我爸隨時會來 154 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,701 ‎-你爸要來這裡? ‎-你找到他了? 155 00:07:22,781 --> 00:07:24,181 ‎對啦,老兄 156 00:07:24,261 --> 00:07:25,541 ‎我一直想告訴妳們 157 00:07:25,621 --> 00:07:27,501 ‎我嚇死了,我真的需要妳們的支持 158 00:07:28,101 --> 00:07:29,901 ‎我的杵和臼在哪裡? 159 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:35,061 ‎-好吧 ‎-好 160 00:07:35,141 --> 00:07:36,421 ‎好,我去開門 161 00:07:36,501 --> 00:07:38,581 ‎梅,妳聽我說 162 00:07:38,661 --> 00:07:40,421 ‎我今天一定會挺妳 163 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:41,341 ‎好嗎?真的 164 00:07:41,421 --> 00:07:43,821 ‎但妳能不能保證妳也會努力,拜託? 165 00:07:43,901 --> 00:07:46,501 ‎就是…不要有奇怪的表現 166 00:07:48,381 --> 00:07:50,661 ‎我當然不會有奇怪的表現 167 00:07:53,421 --> 00:07:55,781 ‎首先我想要道歉 168 00:07:55,861 --> 00:07:58,301 ‎抱歉我那樣把你們兩個推開 169 00:07:58,381 --> 00:08:00,781 ‎不需要道歉,謝了,老天 170 00:08:00,861 --> 00:08:01,821 ‎妳當教母好嗎? 171 00:08:03,021 --> 00:08:05,101 ‎好,當然,如果妳要我當的話 172 00:08:05,181 --> 00:08:06,221 ‎太好了 173 00:08:06,301 --> 00:08:08,181 ‎我去拿酒好嗎?我可以喝一杯 174 00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:10,221 ‎妳要道什麼歉? 175 00:08:10,821 --> 00:08:12,821 ‎所以妳們兩個都住這裡 176 00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,181 ‎這真是太迷人了 177 00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:18,381 ‎我從來沒去過 ‎像妳們這種關係的女士住的家 178 00:08:18,461 --> 00:08:19,701 ‎但我不是女士 179 00:08:20,301 --> 00:08:21,141 ‎那妳是什麼? 180 00:08:22,541 --> 00:08:24,101 ‎我是貧血的稻草人 181 00:08:24,181 --> 00:08:25,661 ‎我們開動了,好嗎? 182 00:08:26,261 --> 00:08:27,221 ‎懷孕感覺如何? 183 00:08:27,301 --> 00:08:29,301 ‎這是我遇過最糟糕的事 184 00:08:29,941 --> 00:08:30,821 ‎妳們呢? 185 00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:33,221 ‎我們很好,真的,很棒 186 00:08:33,821 --> 00:08:35,941 ‎是啊,我們一直不停做愛 187 00:08:36,021 --> 00:08:37,221 ‎妳不用說出來 188 00:08:37,301 --> 00:08:39,541 ‎我們一直對彼此做色色的事 189 00:08:39,621 --> 00:08:40,981 ‎想起來還會嚇到自己 190 00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,501 ‎喬治是天堂派來的完美天使 191 00:08:43,581 --> 00:08:45,981 ‎-喬治才不完美 ‎-很接近完美了 192 00:08:46,061 --> 00:08:48,141 ‎抱歉,但妳聞過喬治的屁嗎? 193 00:08:48,221 --> 00:08:49,821 ‎聽起來像生氣的狗 194 00:08:49,901 --> 00:08:51,181 ‎我才不會放屁 195 00:08:51,261 --> 00:08:52,381 ‎我從來沒放過屁 196 00:08:52,461 --> 00:08:55,341 ‎有一次過節時 ‎我睡在喬治的屁股旁邊 197 00:08:55,421 --> 00:08:57,941 ‎醒來後直接吐在一袋洋芋片裡 198 00:08:58,821 --> 00:09:00,181 ‎妳怎麼會不知道? 199 00:09:00,261 --> 00:09:02,341 ‎喬治的屁真的是臭名遠播 200 00:09:02,421 --> 00:09:03,981 ‎寶貝,妳記得在米科諾斯島 201 00:09:04,061 --> 00:09:05,581 ‎我們一起尿在浴缸裡 202 00:09:05,661 --> 00:09:07,541 ‎然後妳放出了絕世臭屁嗎? 203 00:09:10,021 --> 00:09:12,061 ‎-妳在濱琪面前尿尿? ‎-什麼? 204 00:09:12,141 --> 00:09:14,421 ‎妳們還沒在對方面前尿尿過? 205 00:09:15,501 --> 00:09:17,741 ‎天啊,前幾天我肚子太大下不了床 206 00:09:17,821 --> 00:09:19,541 ‎修還拿著馬克杯讓我尿在裡面 207 00:09:20,141 --> 00:09:22,621 ‎寶貝,妳真的憋了一整年的屁嗎? 208 00:09:22,701 --> 00:09:25,381 ‎那會對妳的大腸造成嚴重傷害 209 00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:27,061 ‎(加拿大) 210 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,101 ‎我馬上回來 211 00:09:33,541 --> 00:09:35,261 ‎別再講我的屁了好嗎? 212 00:09:36,061 --> 00:09:36,901 ‎喂? 213 00:09:38,741 --> 00:09:40,141 ‎是,我是梅 214 00:09:42,221 --> 00:09:43,901 ‎沒錯,我認識史考特 215 00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:55,301 ‎那個… 216 00:09:56,221 --> 00:10:00,861 ‎我很遺憾妳跟他有那樣的經歷 217 00:10:00,941 --> 00:10:02,501 ‎什麼時候的事? 218 00:10:28,301 --> 00:10:29,181 ‎好 219 00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:31,261 ‎這題要問你,修 220 00:10:31,341 --> 00:10:33,741 ‎生產時,哪種賀爾蒙會造成宮縮? 221 00:10:33,821 --> 00:10:34,821 ‎是精液嗎? 222 00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:37,501 ‎-什麼啊? ‎-哇 223 00:10:38,261 --> 00:10:39,741 ‎真是年度最佳老爸 224 00:10:41,101 --> 00:10:43,461 ‎梅,我在網路上看過妳的表演 225 00:10:43,541 --> 00:10:46,621 ‎我真的很喜歡 ‎妳說想成為男生的那個段子 226 00:10:46,701 --> 00:10:48,181 ‎那真的超搞笑的 227 00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:50,541 ‎很高興妳覺得我的痛苦很好笑 228 00:10:50,621 --> 00:10:53,221 ‎是啊,獨角喜劇不就是那樣嗎? 229 00:10:56,621 --> 00:10:58,941 ‎抱歉,妳有什麼話想對我說嗎? 230 00:11:00,541 --> 00:11:01,461 ‎好吧 231 00:11:03,141 --> 00:11:04,341 ‎我覺得妳恐同 232 00:11:04,421 --> 00:11:05,701 ‎我怎麼會恐同? 233 00:11:05,781 --> 00:11:08,141 ‎賈瑞德,世界上游最快的魚是什麼? 234 00:11:08,221 --> 00:11:09,861 ‎妳說啊,我怎麼會恐同? 235 00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:13,141 ‎我一直對妳很好,我還邀請妳來我家 236 00:11:13,221 --> 00:11:15,181 ‎但妳從來不過問我的事 237 00:11:15,261 --> 00:11:17,741 ‎好了,濱琪 ‎我想我們得承認梅的不自在 238 00:11:17,821 --> 00:11:20,981 ‎接受我以前的不良行為 ‎造成的傷害還在,然後往前走 239 00:11:21,061 --> 00:11:22,781 ‎所以,把這件事放在心裡 240 00:11:22,861 --> 00:11:25,181 ‎有人知道夏至是幾月幾號嗎? 241 00:11:25,261 --> 00:11:26,581 ‎濱琪一定知道 242 00:11:26,661 --> 00:11:29,941 ‎她或許在聖漢金頓學校的 ‎超級好野人菁英專班 243 00:11:30,021 --> 00:11:31,381 ‎接受過一學分的課程 244 00:11:31,461 --> 00:11:33,421 ‎不好意思,妳根本不了解我 245 00:11:35,021 --> 00:11:36,701 ‎抱歉,我突然有感覺 246 00:11:40,261 --> 00:11:41,221 ‎天啊 247 00:11:41,981 --> 00:11:43,021 ‎濱濱,妳射精了嗎? 248 00:11:43,741 --> 00:11:46,021 ‎我不想造成恐慌,但我要生寶寶了 249 00:11:46,101 --> 00:11:47,621 ‎-天啊 ‎-天啊 250 00:11:47,701 --> 00:11:48,541 ‎或許我該走了 251 00:11:48,621 --> 00:11:50,661 ‎-喬治,謝謝妳的招待 ‎-賈瑞德,閉嘴 252 00:11:50,741 --> 00:11:52,021 ‎修,去發動車子 253 00:11:52,101 --> 00:11:54,341 ‎糟糕,我已經搞砸了,我喝醉了 254 00:11:54,941 --> 00:11:55,781 ‎我也是 255 00:11:56,381 --> 00:11:58,821 ‎-我喝了整瓶漱口水 ‎-什麼? 256 00:11:58,901 --> 00:12:01,301 ‎我清醒得很,我只喝了粉紅檸檬水 257 00:12:01,381 --> 00:12:02,421 ‎賈瑞德,你開車 258 00:12:02,501 --> 00:12:04,261 ‎但是我沒有駕照 259 00:12:05,341 --> 00:12:06,181 ‎菲爾? 260 00:12:07,741 --> 00:12:09,141 ‎菲爾,天啊 261 00:12:09,221 --> 00:12:12,301 ‎菲爾,濱琪要提早生產了 ‎你得開車載我們去醫院 262 00:12:12,381 --> 00:12:14,261 ‎我不能走,我爸隨時會來 263 00:12:14,341 --> 00:12:15,541 ‎他說他什麼時候來? 264 00:12:15,621 --> 00:12:17,541 ‎他沒說,我只有在語音信箱留言 265 00:12:17,621 --> 00:12:20,021 ‎你根本沒跟他講到話? ‎菲爾,他不會來啦 266 00:12:20,101 --> 00:12:21,661 ‎要是他來了怎麼辦? 267 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,701 ‎快載我去該死的醫院! 268 00:12:25,861 --> 00:12:27,261 ‎喬治,妳坐我旁邊 269 00:12:27,341 --> 00:12:29,021 ‎修,確保菲爾不會撞車 270 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:35,901 ‎-等一下,我坐哪裡? ‎-不行,妳不能來 271 00:12:35,981 --> 00:12:38,661 ‎我不想聽妳批評我的陰道太上流 272 00:12:38,741 --> 00:12:39,861 ‎什麼? 273 00:12:39,941 --> 00:12:42,141 ‎梅,到底怎麼回事? 274 00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:43,781 ‎妳真的喝了漱口水? 275 00:12:43,861 --> 00:12:45,141 ‎我整瓶喝掉了 276 00:12:45,221 --> 00:12:47,421 ‎什麼?幹嘛無緣於故小題大作? 277 00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:49,621 ‎別丟下我,我不想一個人留在家裡 278 00:12:49,701 --> 00:12:51,181 ‎-妳說妳會挺我的 ‎-好,好吧 279 00:12:51,261 --> 00:12:54,581 ‎好了,梅要去醫院,就這樣,好嗎? 280 00:12:54,661 --> 00:12:57,141 ‎-賈瑞德,進去行李箱 ‎-是的,船長 281 00:12:57,221 --> 00:12:58,901 ‎這裡是安全的地方,好嗎? 282 00:12:58,981 --> 00:13:00,501 ‎妳需要什麼,儘管開口 283 00:13:03,421 --> 00:13:05,541 ‎要是我在醫院時需要做愛呢? 284 00:13:05,621 --> 00:13:07,421 ‎-真的? ‎-或許很好玩 285 00:13:07,501 --> 00:13:09,301 ‎好吧,那會很性感 286 00:13:10,501 --> 00:13:12,901 ‎不好意思,可以有人注意一下我嗎? 287 00:13:12,981 --> 00:13:15,421 ‎好了,我們去生小孩吧,孩子們 288 00:13:17,741 --> 00:13:20,501 ‎好痛!他媽的痛死了! 289 00:13:20,581 --> 00:13:21,901 ‎我能做什麼,寶貝? 290 00:13:21,981 --> 00:13:23,541 ‎-妳想吃洋芋片嗎? ‎-不要! 291 00:13:24,141 --> 00:13:26,901 ‎我才不要吃該死的洋芋片! 292 00:13:27,661 --> 00:13:28,501 ‎天啊 293 00:13:29,301 --> 00:13:31,061 ‎天啊,好舒服,別停 294 00:13:31,141 --> 00:13:32,741 ‎不管你在做什麼,別停下來 295 00:13:33,341 --> 00:13:36,221 ‎修,我的手機呢? ‎我想拍一張產前自拍照 296 00:13:36,301 --> 00:13:37,621 ‎靠,我忘了帶 297 00:13:38,421 --> 00:13:39,381 ‎什麼? 298 00:13:41,061 --> 00:13:42,621 ‎-妳們是怎樣? ‎-沒事 299 00:13:42,701 --> 00:13:43,781 ‎-沒事 ‎-沒事 300 00:13:43,861 --> 00:13:45,261 ‎不,我看到了 301 00:13:45,341 --> 00:13:48,581 ‎妳們兩個要趁我 ‎擠出一隻母牛時溜出去做愛 302 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,661 ‎聽著,我們的關係很親密 303 00:13:50,741 --> 00:13:53,341 ‎那表示我們全年無休不停做愛 304 00:13:53,421 --> 00:13:54,341 ‎親密? 305 00:13:54,421 --> 00:13:57,661 ‎妳根本不懂什麼是親密 ‎妳們兩個就像性衝動的青少女 306 00:13:57,741 --> 00:14:01,181 ‎我打賭妳們從來沒有 ‎相處超過24小時卻沒做愛 307 00:14:01,261 --> 00:14:03,581 ‎修跟我已經七個月沒做愛了 308 00:14:03,661 --> 00:14:05,941 ‎因為他不想要他的龜頭碰到寶寶 309 00:14:06,021 --> 00:14:08,181 ‎他還真的替我擦屁股 310 00:14:08,261 --> 00:14:09,541 ‎那才是真的親密 311 00:14:09,621 --> 00:14:10,501 ‎沒錯,寶貝 312 00:14:10,581 --> 00:14:12,061 ‎快滾去拿我的手機! 313 00:14:12,141 --> 00:14:14,781 ‎我們來清場吧,你們可以留一個人 314 00:14:14,861 --> 00:14:16,661 ‎留他就好,他讓人很安心 315 00:14:24,981 --> 00:14:26,661 ‎(史考特:她有打給妳嗎?) 316 00:14:28,381 --> 00:14:31,941 ‎嘿,我們來玩 ‎醫院的角色扮演怎麼樣? 317 00:14:32,021 --> 00:14:35,061 ‎我可以演喬治克隆尼 ‎妳可以演燒傷的病患之類的 318 00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:36,421 ‎-好啊 ‎-好嗎? 319 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,021 ‎我們也可以做自己 320 00:14:38,101 --> 00:14:40,301 ‎我去找衣服,妳去找隱密的地方 321 00:14:40,381 --> 00:14:42,101 ‎我5分鐘後傳訊息給妳,好嗎? 322 00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:43,661 ‎-好 ‎-好 323 00:14:46,301 --> 00:14:48,541 ‎我可以請教妳一個問題嗎? 324 00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:52,341 ‎我覺得我跟喬治之間好像有點電流 325 00:14:52,421 --> 00:14:55,141 ‎有點曖昧不明的那種感覺 326 00:14:55,221 --> 00:14:58,021 ‎我只想知道妳有什麼撇步讓我可以… 327 00:14:58,101 --> 00:15:00,901 ‎衝回本壘,妳懂我意思吧? 328 00:15:00,981 --> 00:15:03,461 ‎賈瑞德,你知道我跟喬治在交往吧? 329 00:15:03,541 --> 00:15:04,581 ‎-我們是情侶 ‎-我知道 330 00:15:04,661 --> 00:15:06,181 ‎所以我才問妳啊 331 00:15:06,261 --> 00:15:08,581 ‎我該怎麼做?她喜歡什麼? 332 00:15:09,621 --> 00:15:10,621 ‎她喜歡… 333 00:15:11,221 --> 00:15:13,621 ‎她喜歡我,我不曉得,還有… 334 00:15:14,221 --> 00:15:15,141 ‎傑森史塔森 335 00:15:15,221 --> 00:15:17,141 ‎傑森史塔森 336 00:15:19,061 --> 00:15:20,181 ‎《神鬼團隊》 337 00:15:32,501 --> 00:15:35,861 ‎-喬治,我覺得我做不到 ‎-是嗎?好 338 00:15:36,381 --> 00:15:37,821 ‎不,喬治 339 00:15:39,581 --> 00:15:40,901 ‎我會是個爛爸爸嗎? 340 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:42,781 ‎不會啦,嗯… 341 00:15:42,861 --> 00:15:44,061 ‎-什麼? ‎-不會 342 00:15:44,141 --> 00:15:45,501 ‎-嘿,兩位 ‎-嚇死我了 343 00:15:46,581 --> 00:15:48,501 ‎我知道今天的主角不是我 344 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,621 ‎但我真的因為我爸的事很低落 345 00:15:50,701 --> 00:15:51,861 ‎他為什麼不來? 346 00:15:51,941 --> 00:15:54,581 ‎因為你沒跟他講話,菲爾 ‎他或許根本沒聽到留言 347 00:15:54,661 --> 00:15:55,701 ‎我會是個爛爸爸 348 00:15:55,781 --> 00:15:56,661 ‎不會的 349 00:15:57,461 --> 00:15:58,421 ‎只要你夠寬容 350 00:15:58,501 --> 00:16:00,981 ‎不管你是哪一種爸爸,一定要寬容 351 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:04,621 ‎如果你的孩子 ‎做了什麼糟糕的事讓你傷心 352 00:16:05,581 --> 00:16:07,581 ‎就陪在他身邊,這樣就好了 353 00:16:09,621 --> 00:16:11,461 ‎賈瑞德在學校幫我口交過 354 00:16:12,661 --> 00:16:14,021 ‎-沒關係的 ‎-好 355 00:16:14,661 --> 00:16:16,661 ‎對,沒關係的 356 00:16:23,461 --> 00:16:24,301 ‎讓我… 357 00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:41,301 ‎-這裡像是打過仗 ‎-我知道 358 00:16:41,381 --> 00:16:43,381 ‎我想有人剛剛在這裡生產完 359 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,781 ‎妳看,我找到工作服了 360 00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:46,261 ‎妳看 361 00:16:46,341 --> 00:16:47,221 ‎好 362 00:16:49,381 --> 00:16:50,501 ‎我是喬治克隆尼 363 00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:53,741 ‎天啊,上面都是大便,趕快脫下來 364 00:16:53,821 --> 00:16:55,661 ‎沒關係,快點上床,我要舔妳 365 00:16:55,741 --> 00:16:56,941 ‎-真的? ‎-會很棒的 366 00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:58,421 ‎噢,天啊! 367 00:16:58,501 --> 00:17:01,501 ‎我摸到胎盤了 ‎我覺得我已經到極限了 368 00:17:01,581 --> 00:17:02,421 ‎喬治,拜託妳 369 00:17:03,581 --> 00:17:04,741 ‎梅,我… 370 00:17:04,821 --> 00:17:07,221 ‎妳全身都是汗,怎麼了? 371 00:17:07,981 --> 00:17:09,541 ‎妳就像鬣狗一樣狂躁 372 00:17:09,621 --> 00:17:12,661 ‎我可以當鬣狗 ‎妳要我做什麼都可以,妳要什麼? 373 00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:14,981 ‎-妳想打我的腎臟嗎? ‎-打妳?不要 374 00:17:15,061 --> 00:17:16,661 ‎梅,到底是怎麼回事? 375 00:17:16,741 --> 00:17:19,221 ‎我只想在醫院度過開心的時光 376 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,661 ‎還有加拿大發生了一些事 377 00:17:24,261 --> 00:17:27,981 ‎好,所以妳不是真的想跟我做愛 378 00:17:28,061 --> 00:17:30,341 ‎這算什麼?某種應對機制嗎? 379 00:17:30,901 --> 00:17:32,421 ‎加拿大出了什麼事? 380 00:17:35,461 --> 00:17:37,981 ‎如果妳不告訴我,我沒辦法幫妳 381 00:17:39,941 --> 00:17:42,261 ‎梅,如果我現在沒去陪濱琪 382 00:17:42,341 --> 00:17:43,981 ‎我會後悔一輩子 383 00:17:44,061 --> 00:17:46,701 ‎我知道… 384 00:17:47,581 --> 00:17:48,621 ‎好 385 00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:02,581 ‎妳不能進來這裡 386 00:18:10,421 --> 00:18:12,901 ‎妳的血壓還是很低,但馬上就好了 387 00:18:12,981 --> 00:18:14,501 ‎能告訴我發生了什麼事嗎? 388 00:18:16,701 --> 00:18:18,541 ‎我感覺很不好,然後暈倒了 389 00:18:19,941 --> 00:18:22,541 ‎-我已經感覺不好一陣子了 ‎-怎麼個不好法? 390 00:18:22,621 --> 00:18:26,501 ‎有點像是空的保鮮盒 ‎在我腦袋的櫥櫃裡撞來撞去 391 00:18:26,581 --> 00:18:28,021 ‎然後晚上還被嚇醒 392 00:18:28,901 --> 00:18:29,821 ‎什麼? 393 00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:31,301 ‎就是會做惡夢 394 00:18:31,381 --> 00:18:33,461 ‎有時候就是… 395 00:18:33,541 --> 00:18:35,381 ‎有些小事發生了 396 00:18:35,461 --> 00:18:38,381 ‎然後我會出現很瘋狂的反應 397 00:18:38,461 --> 00:18:41,741 ‎例如我全身會變得僵硬,像一塊木板 398 00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,061 ‎我會想躺在床底下 399 00:18:43,141 --> 00:18:45,021 ‎而且我真的很喜歡毒品 400 00:18:45,661 --> 00:18:47,061 ‎上癮的那種 401 00:18:47,661 --> 00:18:48,501 ‎好 402 00:18:49,941 --> 00:18:52,861 ‎有任何特定的事會讓妳發作嗎? 403 00:18:53,861 --> 00:18:55,421 ‎就一些隨機的事 404 00:18:57,101 --> 00:18:58,301 ‎過去的事 405 00:18:59,101 --> 00:19:00,221 ‎妳說的這些症狀… 406 00:19:00,301 --> 00:19:02,381 ‎這只是我第一個想到的可能 407 00:19:02,981 --> 00:19:07,101 ‎是創傷後壓力症候群的典型症狀 408 00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:11,581 ‎嗯,是啊 409 00:19:12,261 --> 00:19:15,821 ‎我忘了我也是越戰時的獸醫 ‎我忘了提這件事 410 00:19:15,901 --> 00:19:18,301 ‎最近大家都對創傷很著迷 411 00:19:18,381 --> 00:19:21,941 ‎就像個流行語,大家都好愛談創傷 412 00:19:22,021 --> 00:19:23,541 ‎實在太誇張了 413 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:26,901 ‎這其實有很明確的醫學解釋 414 00:19:26,981 --> 00:19:30,621 ‎當我們的身體經歷極端恐懼反應時 415 00:19:30,701 --> 00:19:32,621 ‎它會做出防禦 416 00:19:32,701 --> 00:19:33,701 ‎會動彈不得 417 00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,261 ‎身體會儲存那些反應 418 00:19:37,901 --> 00:19:41,501 ‎妳能不能幫我檢查 ‎看我身體裡是不是充滿了鳥? 419 00:19:42,661 --> 00:19:45,901 ‎聽著,喝點果汁,讓血糖恢復吧 420 00:19:46,541 --> 00:19:48,301 ‎跟妳的家庭醫生談談 421 00:19:48,381 --> 00:19:51,101 ‎或者至少跟妳親近的人談談 422 00:19:51,781 --> 00:19:52,621 ‎好嗎? 423 00:19:53,221 --> 00:19:54,821 ‎好,對了 424 00:19:54,901 --> 00:19:57,501 ‎可以把妳從推車上偷的藥還給我嗎? 425 00:19:58,181 --> 00:19:59,221 ‎對不起 426 00:19:59,301 --> 00:20:00,301 ‎謝了 427 00:20:05,821 --> 00:20:06,981 ‎你有什麼毛病 428 00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:08,981 ‎寄生蟲 429 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:24,061 ‎他好漂亮,濱琪 430 00:20:24,141 --> 00:20:25,741 ‎我不敢相信我是他的教母 431 00:20:25,821 --> 00:20:27,421 ‎而我是他的教父 432 00:20:33,221 --> 00:20:34,941 ‎天啊,我做了什麼? 433 00:20:35,021 --> 00:20:36,821 ‎-寶寶有名字了嗎? ‎-有 434 00:20:37,421 --> 00:20:38,541 ‎我們要叫他布索伊 435 00:20:39,141 --> 00:20:40,501 ‎-布索伊? ‎-布索伊 436 00:20:41,461 --> 00:20:44,541 ‎你們可以離開嗎? ‎這裡好擠,我的陰道又裂成兩半 437 00:20:45,141 --> 00:20:46,181 ‎好,我去打給妳媽 438 00:20:46,261 --> 00:20:47,461 ‎馬上回來,濱濱 439 00:20:50,141 --> 00:20:52,061 ‎-馬上回來,布索伊! ‎-太大聲了 440 00:20:56,781 --> 00:20:57,621 ‎梅 441 00:20:58,141 --> 00:20:58,981 ‎妳留下來 442 00:21:06,301 --> 00:21:07,741 ‎我有重要的事要說 443 00:21:08,541 --> 00:21:10,421 ‎如果修跟我在一場船難裡死掉 444 00:21:10,501 --> 00:21:13,421 ‎喬治就是布索伊的法定監護人 ‎妳知道那代表什麼嗎? 445 00:21:14,421 --> 00:21:16,061 ‎那表示如果妳和喬治在一起 446 00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:18,141 ‎妳就會成為布索伊的爸爸 447 00:21:18,221 --> 00:21:19,581 ‎妳明白嗎? 448 00:21:21,061 --> 00:21:21,901 ‎明白 449 00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:25,141 ‎那就振作起來 450 00:21:25,221 --> 00:21:27,741 ‎無論是什麼事讓妳不開心 451 00:21:27,821 --> 00:21:30,341 ‎深呼吸,成熟點,好好面對它 452 00:21:31,181 --> 00:21:33,621 ‎就算不是為了自己,也是為了喬治 453 00:21:34,781 --> 00:21:35,741 ‎還有布索伊 454 00:21:54,501 --> 00:21:56,341 ‎-我覺得晚餐… ‎-或許濱琪是對的 455 00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:58,541 ‎抱歉,我是指親密的部分 456 00:21:59,221 --> 00:22:02,381 ‎或許我們該試試幾個禮拜不做愛 457 00:22:02,461 --> 00:22:03,301 ‎我不… 458 00:22:03,381 --> 00:22:05,621 ‎我們就談談,真的好好談 459 00:22:06,821 --> 00:22:07,861 ‎可是… 460 00:22:07,941 --> 00:22:10,301 ‎妳不是最痛恨談自己的感覺嗎? 461 00:22:10,381 --> 00:22:13,341 ‎沒錯,真的很痛恨 ‎我覺得那讓人很不愉快 462 00:22:14,061 --> 00:22:16,701 ‎但我得知道妳到底發生了什麼事 463 00:22:16,781 --> 00:22:19,661 ‎因為那也會影響我,影響很大 464 00:22:20,941 --> 00:22:23,221 ‎我們已經玩角色扮演好幾個禮拜了 465 00:22:23,301 --> 00:22:25,141 ‎-是啊,但那很棒 ‎-對啊 466 00:22:26,101 --> 00:22:27,901 ‎妳知道我們玩角色扮演 467 00:22:27,981 --> 00:22:30,821 ‎不是因為我想要妳變成別人 468 00:22:32,981 --> 00:22:34,261 ‎是啊,很好 469 00:22:34,341 --> 00:22:35,181 ‎好 470 00:22:37,461 --> 00:22:40,941 ‎我想或許是我想變成別人吧 471 00:22:41,821 --> 00:22:43,781 ‎我想脫離這個身體 472 00:22:45,981 --> 00:22:47,301 ‎所以… 473 00:22:47,901 --> 00:22:49,541 ‎我在醫院跟一個醫生談過 474 00:22:50,141 --> 00:22:51,021 ‎然後… 475 00:22:51,101 --> 00:22:54,461 ‎她認為我可能有創傷後壓力症候群 476 00:22:56,821 --> 00:22:58,861 ‎是因為我吧?我一直把妳當秘密 477 00:22:58,941 --> 00:23:01,501 ‎不,妳是個天使,妳在說什麼啊? 478 00:23:02,501 --> 00:23:03,981 ‎那是為什麼? 479 00:23:04,061 --> 00:23:05,021 ‎就是… 480 00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:09,661 ‎我有過一大段很荒唐的人生 481 00:23:09,741 --> 00:23:11,301 ‎大概有十年,對吧? 482 00:23:11,381 --> 00:23:15,901 ‎像是坐牢、吸毒過量,還有很多… 483 00:23:19,101 --> 00:23:22,861 ‎我今天接到一通電話,是一個女人 484 00:23:23,461 --> 00:23:25,181 ‎她想跟我談史考特的事 485 00:23:26,501 --> 00:23:29,101 ‎然後,妳知道… 486 00:23:29,901 --> 00:23:31,501 ‎妳跟我剛在一起時 487 00:23:31,581 --> 00:23:34,981 ‎那不是我的第一段秘密戀情 488 00:23:35,741 --> 00:23:39,781 ‎其實我所有的戀愛關係都是秘密 489 00:23:39,861 --> 00:23:41,301 ‎因為我年紀很輕 490 00:23:41,381 --> 00:23:43,021 ‎我的對象都比我大很多 491 00:23:43,781 --> 00:23:47,261 ‎我想,或許這是我第一次 492 00:23:48,021 --> 00:23:49,581 ‎開始想這些事,像是… 493 00:23:50,181 --> 00:23:51,101 ‎史考特 494 00:23:51,821 --> 00:23:53,901 ‎不只是史考特,還有其他人 495 00:23:54,501 --> 00:23:58,061 ‎史考特教會我關於披頭四的一切 ‎他就像家人一樣 496 00:23:58,141 --> 00:24:00,221 ‎妳跟史考特同居時幾歲? 497 00:24:00,301 --> 00:24:01,141 ‎就… 498 00:24:01,901 --> 00:24:03,341 ‎15、16歲左右 499 00:24:03,421 --> 00:24:05,581 ‎然後他幾歲,30歲? 500 00:24:06,501 --> 00:24:08,261 ‎是啊,但我想或許… 501 00:24:08,861 --> 00:24:10,941 ‎別人不會覺得那樣很糟糕 502 00:24:11,021 --> 00:24:13,941 ‎但或許對我來說很糟糕 503 00:24:14,021 --> 00:24:15,541 ‎不,那很糟糕,梅 504 00:24:17,821 --> 00:24:20,141 ‎加拿大有很多我想殺掉的人 505 00:24:24,701 --> 00:24:26,301 ‎好,所以… 506 00:24:28,621 --> 00:24:30,141 ‎妳現在想做什麼? 507 00:24:31,501 --> 00:24:33,421 ‎妳想在彼此面前尿尿嗎? 508 00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:25,901 ‎字幕翻譯:劉怡眉