1 00:00:08,501 --> 00:00:10,501 [Nick] As you know, I am an addict, 2 00:00:11,021 --> 00:00:15,381 and part of the process of my recovery is that I must make amends 3 00:00:15,461 --> 00:00:16,901 to those I have wronged. 4 00:00:18,341 --> 00:00:22,061 I have wronged you, and so I owe you an amends. 5 00:00:23,141 --> 00:00:25,501 Oh, Nick, seriously you don't owe me anything-- 6 00:00:25,581 --> 00:00:27,781 I'm really going to need you to accept my amends now. 7 00:00:28,181 --> 00:00:30,501 All right, amends accepted. 8 00:00:31,261 --> 00:00:33,261 -[chuckles] -[clapping] 9 00:00:33,341 --> 00:00:34,421 -[laughs] -Yay! 10 00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:36,061 Now while I'm doing the steps, 11 00:00:36,141 --> 00:00:39,261 alcohol is only permitted in the northeast corner of this room 12 00:00:39,341 --> 00:00:42,061 and also, I'm running a buddy system in the toilets. 13 00:00:42,141 --> 00:00:45,741 You and I are not allowed to go to the toilet unless Jack is with us. 14 00:00:45,821 --> 00:00:46,661 All right. 15 00:00:46,741 --> 00:00:49,701 I kind of just want to get back to work. I want things to be normal, 16 00:00:49,781 --> 00:00:51,021 like where's Pete? 17 00:00:51,101 --> 00:00:51,941 "Where's Pete?" 18 00:00:52,741 --> 00:00:53,941 "Where is Pete?" she asks. 19 00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:55,421 I've got Pete working behind the bar 20 00:00:55,501 --> 00:00:57,741 until he can write a joke that's not about jizz. 21 00:00:57,821 --> 00:01:00,701 Sounds like you've implemented some really positive changes around here. 22 00:01:00,781 --> 00:01:02,541 Very funny. Not. 23 00:01:02,621 --> 00:01:05,741 Joke's on you anyway, because I get a 15% discount on burgers 24 00:01:05,821 --> 00:01:08,101 -on weekdays before 4:00 p.m. -Ah. 25 00:01:08,181 --> 00:01:09,741 Oh, Pete, can you get me a ginger ale? 26 00:01:10,101 --> 00:01:10,981 [clicks tongue] 27 00:01:13,221 --> 00:01:15,661 Right, so what's your game plan, Mae? 28 00:01:15,741 --> 00:01:18,101 Oh, okay, so I think I'm just gonna go and talk to George 29 00:01:18,181 --> 00:01:20,261 and I'm gonna be like, "Look, I pushed you away. 30 00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:21,981 "I thought I had to fix my brain by myself, 31 00:01:22,061 --> 00:01:23,621 but really we could work through some--" 32 00:01:23,701 --> 00:01:26,501 -I'm talking about your career, Mae. -Oh. Uh-- 33 00:01:26,581 --> 00:01:28,741 Donna Ridley has been emailing me about you. 34 00:01:28,821 --> 00:01:30,781 She wants to represent you, which is fucked, 35 00:01:30,861 --> 00:01:33,301 because I've been trying to get her to sign me for five years. 36 00:01:33,381 --> 00:01:34,781 Who is Donna Ridley? 37 00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:36,021 Donna's a massive agent. 38 00:01:36,101 --> 00:01:38,381 -[Nick] Yeah. -Is she? All right. 39 00:01:38,941 --> 00:01:39,941 Well, that's wicked. 40 00:01:40,021 --> 00:01:41,421 Well, maybe I'll get her to sign me. 41 00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:44,021 'Cause if I sign with her, I can go to George's and I can be like, 42 00:01:44,101 --> 00:01:45,821 "Look, I'm really getting my shit together." 43 00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:49,621 Or I was thinking maybe you and I could go out to a nice French restaurant 44 00:01:49,701 --> 00:01:50,541 or something. 45 00:01:51,421 --> 00:01:52,421 [phone ringing] 46 00:01:59,621 --> 00:02:04,501 So I've never really had an agent before, but I do seriously want to get on TV. 47 00:02:04,581 --> 00:02:07,341 -When's your birthday? -Uh, it's May 2nd. 48 00:02:07,421 --> 00:02:08,781 Uh, when is… when is yours? 49 00:02:08,861 --> 00:02:09,861 October 31st. 50 00:02:09,941 --> 00:02:12,101 Oh, that's spooky. 51 00:02:12,181 --> 00:02:13,141 Why is it spooky? 52 00:02:13,941 --> 00:02:14,941 It's Halloween. 53 00:02:15,021 --> 00:02:18,341 See? Look at us. We're talking, we're building a relationship. 54 00:02:18,421 --> 00:02:20,501 I really want to work with you, Mae. What do you think? 55 00:02:20,581 --> 00:02:22,301 I think that's sickhead to the max. 56 00:02:22,381 --> 00:02:25,261 Yeah, 'cause I've been kind of plateaued at one tier for a while, 57 00:02:25,341 --> 00:02:27,101 but I have all this new material. 58 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,781 -Great. What's it about? -Okay. So sloths. 59 00:02:29,861 --> 00:02:31,541 Um, Chevy Chase. 60 00:02:32,221 --> 00:02:34,101 -Also, noodles is one. -[Donna] No. 61 00:02:34,181 --> 00:02:37,301 Wrong. See, what I love about you is you're very now. 62 00:02:37,381 --> 00:02:40,141 You're an addict. You're anxious. You're trans. 63 00:02:40,221 --> 00:02:42,141 Am I trans? 'Cause I'm kind of on the fence-- 64 00:02:42,221 --> 00:02:44,381 You look like something out of Deep Space Nine. 65 00:02:44,461 --> 00:02:46,261 You're a lonely millennial. 66 00:02:46,341 --> 00:02:48,901 Oh, I'm thinking about getting back together with my ex-girlfriend. 67 00:02:48,981 --> 00:02:51,901 Really? The one from your set? Who made you feel like a dog? 68 00:02:52,501 --> 00:02:55,701 Well, I mean, you haven't seen her and she glows like the Olympic flame. 69 00:02:55,781 --> 00:02:56,981 I don't like it. 70 00:02:57,061 --> 00:02:59,221 What I love is you've come from outer space. 71 00:02:59,301 --> 00:03:03,021 You've left your terrible relationship and you're ready to fuck. 72 00:03:03,101 --> 00:03:04,781 Yeah. Um… 73 00:03:06,021 --> 00:03:08,941 I'm gonna think about it. And also, I'm so sorry, 74 00:03:09,021 --> 00:03:10,821 but I have an appointment with my butcher. 75 00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:13,421 Okay, babe, but when you're ready to get as excited about yourself 76 00:03:13,501 --> 00:03:14,861 as I am about you, give me a bell. 77 00:03:14,941 --> 00:03:17,421 I'll bring the big boss to see you. Get me Cindy on the line? 78 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:19,941 -I want to talk about Vice. -What? 79 00:03:20,021 --> 00:03:22,101 -[whispering] I'm on the phone. -Okay. 80 00:03:22,181 --> 00:03:24,941 [upbeat song playing] 81 00:03:34,461 --> 00:03:35,701 [knocking] 82 00:03:44,621 --> 00:03:46,221 -Hey! -Mae! 83 00:03:46,301 --> 00:03:48,541 -[chuckling] Hi. How are you? -Hi. 84 00:03:48,621 --> 00:03:49,661 I didn't… Wha… 85 00:03:49,741 --> 00:03:50,941 [laughing] What? 86 00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:52,501 I… I didn't know you were back. 87 00:03:52,581 --> 00:03:55,861 Yeah, um, I've been back a couple of weeks and I just… 88 00:03:55,941 --> 00:03:56,981 I didn't… I didn't call, 89 00:03:57,061 --> 00:04:00,261 'cause I just thought I'd come by and see how… how you are. 90 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,941 And I mean, I forgot what you look like. It's crazy. 91 00:04:03,501 --> 00:04:06,981 I mean, you look like the archangel Gabriel, 92 00:04:07,061 --> 00:04:10,941 through the clouds shining down into a splendor upon us from heaven. 93 00:04:11,981 --> 00:04:15,741 Hi. Listen, I've got to run, but I'll see you tomorrow, yeah? 94 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:23,941 -Is that a work colleague? -I'm so sorry. I didn't… 95 00:04:24,021 --> 00:04:27,461 Because I didn't… I didn't know that you were… that you were coming. 96 00:04:27,541 --> 00:04:28,381 Okay. 97 00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:30,861 So you two are snacking fresh? 98 00:04:32,181 --> 00:04:33,501 You're dating that handsome hunk? 99 00:04:33,581 --> 00:04:37,101 It's just that when you… when you, like, ended things for good, 100 00:04:37,181 --> 00:04:38,701 I… I just sort of-- 101 00:04:38,781 --> 00:04:39,941 It's tubular, dude. 102 00:04:40,021 --> 00:04:42,781 -I brought these for Phil anyway. -Oh God. Mae. 103 00:04:42,861 --> 00:04:46,621 No, look, it's fine. I'm happy for you and also, I'm happy for me, 104 00:04:46,701 --> 00:04:49,061 because I'm also… I'm dating someone as well. 105 00:04:49,141 --> 00:04:50,141 Really? 106 00:04:50,661 --> 00:04:51,861 -Yeah. -Who? 107 00:04:52,861 --> 00:04:54,781 I'm dating Jack. 108 00:04:55,741 --> 00:04:57,181 -Okay. -Anyway, I'm gonna go. 109 00:04:57,261 --> 00:04:59,981 I don't want to bother you anymore. 110 00:05:00,061 --> 00:05:02,581 -Oh God. -Oh no, George. 111 00:05:02,661 --> 00:05:06,221 Listen. Oh, I fucked this up 'cause I ended things, 112 00:05:06,301 --> 00:05:08,741 I drew a line under it, and it was such a mess with us 113 00:05:08,821 --> 00:05:11,181 and this is good, you know? 114 00:05:11,261 --> 00:05:13,981 It's probably like healthy, I think, that… that you're seeing someone. 115 00:05:14,061 --> 00:05:17,781 -Like, it's fast, but it's probably-- -Mae, I really want you in my life. 116 00:05:17,861 --> 00:05:19,821 So can we be friends? 117 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:21,461 [scoffs] 118 00:05:22,421 --> 00:05:23,261 Yeah. 119 00:05:24,061 --> 00:05:26,981 I'd absolutely love to be your friend. 120 00:05:30,781 --> 00:05:32,861 -Would you give these to Phil? -Yep. 121 00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:35,101 -And tell him I love him? -[inhales sharply] 122 00:05:39,461 --> 00:05:43,781 -I'm not gonna be her friend. -[Scott on phone] Why not? 123 00:05:43,861 --> 00:05:47,421 Because I can see my unborn children in her eyes. 124 00:05:47,501 --> 00:05:49,701 Right now you can, but that'll pass. 125 00:05:49,781 --> 00:05:52,541 Oh, man, you should have seen this guy. He's so fucking cool. 126 00:05:52,621 --> 00:05:56,821 He probably like takes her dancing and like spins around on the dance floor. 127 00:05:56,901 --> 00:05:59,181 Oh, man, I knew she'd get a boyfriend right away. 128 00:05:59,261 --> 00:06:01,421 I should never have dated a bisexual person. 129 00:06:01,941 --> 00:06:04,061 -Aren't you bisexual? -Yes. 130 00:06:04,141 --> 00:06:05,181 Yes, I am. 131 00:06:05,901 --> 00:06:08,061 Probably bounced on more balls than she has, 132 00:06:08,141 --> 00:06:11,621 but I'm also a massive, massive hypocrite. 133 00:06:11,701 --> 00:06:15,301 [Scott] Look, you ended things with her for a reason, 134 00:06:15,381 --> 00:06:16,981 because you wanted her to be happy. 135 00:06:17,061 --> 00:06:20,221 Now it's your job to be a big boy and be her friend. 136 00:06:20,301 --> 00:06:23,461 What am I supposed to do, like hang out with her and her new boyfriend? 137 00:06:23,541 --> 00:06:25,261 Prove to her that you've grown. 138 00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:27,821 How come you don't live here? 139 00:06:27,901 --> 00:06:30,741 Oh, we've been over this. I'm very busy masturbating into a sock. 140 00:06:30,821 --> 00:06:31,861 [laughs] 141 00:06:33,701 --> 00:06:35,901 All right. I'll ask her to hang out. 142 00:06:37,141 --> 00:06:39,541 Thanks, Scott. Love you. Bye. 143 00:06:40,301 --> 00:06:41,861 Mae, do you want-- 144 00:06:41,941 --> 00:06:43,021 -Ow! -Oh shit! 145 00:06:44,301 --> 00:06:45,621 Sorry. Sorry. 146 00:06:46,261 --> 00:06:49,501 Listen, I'm thinking about asking George and her new boyfriend on a double date. 147 00:06:49,581 --> 00:06:51,981 -Would you mind going with me? -What, you and me? 148 00:06:52,061 --> 00:06:53,741 I've never wanted anything more! 149 00:06:53,821 --> 00:06:56,501 Great. Also, I accidentally lied and I told them we're dating, 150 00:06:56,581 --> 00:06:58,861 so you just have to like pretend that you love me. 151 00:06:59,701 --> 00:07:02,461 -[door opens, closes] -But, I do love you. 152 00:07:02,541 --> 00:07:05,261 Hi, uh, so as… as you know, 153 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:08,621 Elliott and I wanted to set up a group to discuss social activism 154 00:07:08,701 --> 00:07:12,221 and try and find ways for the students to get involved as well. 155 00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:15,701 -Um, I want to do like a big event like-- -Sorry. 156 00:07:15,781 --> 00:07:17,821 Before we start, maybe we should check in? 157 00:07:17,901 --> 00:07:20,341 -Check in? -Hi. I'm Elliott. 158 00:07:20,421 --> 00:07:22,461 I'm a bi-poly-cis man, 159 00:07:22,541 --> 00:07:25,741 and really happy to be sharing the space with like-minded individuals. 160 00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:28,181 Becky, cishet. 161 00:07:28,261 --> 00:07:33,741 Uh, today, I am really struggling with the amount of space I'm taking up 162 00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,861 as a polluter against the amount of space 163 00:07:36,941 --> 00:07:39,781 that I rightfully should be taking up as a woman. 164 00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,541 -Troubling. -Yeah. 165 00:07:43,501 --> 00:07:44,381 I'm Clocky. 166 00:07:44,461 --> 00:07:47,021 Clocky Powers, gay as a hog, and I'm raging. 167 00:07:47,101 --> 00:07:49,661 Pauline, the dinner lady, knows I can't stand coriander, 168 00:07:49,741 --> 00:07:53,101 and today my saucy sarnie was absolutely chocker with it. 169 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:55,101 Now, she says it was an accident, but I know. 170 00:07:55,181 --> 00:07:57,741 It's 'cause I said her daughter looked like Harvey Keitel. 171 00:07:57,821 --> 00:07:59,541 Okay. Um… 172 00:08:00,181 --> 00:08:04,181 Well, I've… I've never really, like, "checked in" before 173 00:08:04,261 --> 00:08:05,981 but, uh, hi. 174 00:08:06,581 --> 00:08:10,541 I'm George and I'm trying to grow as a person. 175 00:08:11,861 --> 00:08:14,141 George, great check in. 176 00:08:14,221 --> 00:08:16,701 Um, I noticed that you didn't identify? 177 00:08:16,781 --> 00:08:20,181 Yeah. I don't… I don't really do that. 178 00:08:20,261 --> 00:08:22,301 Like, I'm… I'm just George. 179 00:08:26,781 --> 00:08:28,101 Okay. Well, 180 00:08:29,261 --> 00:08:31,861 I'm… I'm seeing Elliott and… 181 00:08:31,941 --> 00:08:34,101 But I did have a girlfriend called Mae. 182 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,941 -Oh. -Well, it was quite roller-coastery. 183 00:08:36,021 --> 00:08:37,541 Like, she's an addict. 184 00:08:37,621 --> 00:08:39,981 Um, coke, and… 185 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:43,861 Well, I do think… I think she might have dealt heroin as a teenager. 186 00:08:44,981 --> 00:08:47,381 Um, anyway, but that's all. That's great now, that's fine. 187 00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:48,741 Yeah. So. 188 00:08:50,301 --> 00:08:52,741 Um, actually Elliott and I are going on a double date 189 00:08:52,821 --> 00:08:55,621 with her and her new boyfriend on Saturday, so you know, 190 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:58,781 who knows, maybe we'll all just have a big gang bang. 191 00:08:59,741 --> 00:09:03,741 Um, Mae sounds like she's incredibly vulnerable. 192 00:09:03,821 --> 00:09:07,861 Are you sort of sure it's safe to be still spending time together, 193 00:09:07,941 --> 00:09:10,581 you know, especially if the relationship was toxic? 194 00:09:10,661 --> 00:09:11,741 Toxic? 195 00:09:12,581 --> 00:09:13,901 No, it wasn't… it wasn't-- 196 00:09:13,981 --> 00:09:17,221 Becky, I think if George is open to processing with Mae, 197 00:09:17,301 --> 00:09:20,221 then friendship with an ex can really help put a full stop 198 00:09:20,301 --> 00:09:22,541 on a painful chapter, don't you think? 199 00:09:23,261 --> 00:09:25,901 Oh my God, you are so emotionally literate. 200 00:09:26,621 --> 00:09:28,621 [Egyptian music playing] 201 00:09:31,941 --> 00:09:34,141 -Christmas Jones! Sorry. -Oh! Fuck you! [laughs] 202 00:09:34,221 --> 00:09:37,101 -I wish I didn't do that. -No, it was… it was funny. 203 00:09:37,181 --> 00:09:39,701 [sighs] Okay, sorry. Jack's parking, so I thought I'd spook you. 204 00:09:39,781 --> 00:09:42,501 -Okay. -Good day, time travelers. 205 00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:45,581 My name is Professor Spink and welcome to-- 206 00:09:45,661 --> 00:09:48,341 I'm so sorry. We're waiting for a couple of people. 207 00:09:51,861 --> 00:09:53,941 -It's really nice to see you. -Yeah, you too. 208 00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:55,141 Absolutely lovely. 209 00:09:56,381 --> 00:09:58,421 How are you, and how's Elliott? 210 00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:01,101 Is the… And is the sex good? 211 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:04,981 Mae, come on. You can't… Don't do that. 212 00:10:05,581 --> 00:10:07,861 That's not fair. You broke up with me, remember? 213 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,101 Yeah. No, I did. 214 00:10:11,661 --> 00:10:14,381 -Do you really want to know? -Yes. Yes. 215 00:10:14,461 --> 00:10:16,301 It is… It's quite… 216 00:10:17,821 --> 00:10:18,661 tender? 217 00:10:18,741 --> 00:10:19,981 What do you mean, tender? 218 00:10:20,061 --> 00:10:23,821 Like he kind of likes to make eye contact and, like, emotionally connect. 219 00:10:23,901 --> 00:10:26,261 [laughs] Oh my God. During? 220 00:10:26,341 --> 00:10:27,901 -Yeah. -That's crazy. 221 00:10:27,981 --> 00:10:31,501 I would never emotionally connect with you during sex. 222 00:10:31,581 --> 00:10:33,821 Doesn't he know all you want is to get thrown around 223 00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,981 -like a slutty bag of beans? -[laughs] 224 00:10:36,061 --> 00:10:38,181 -Oh, I forgot you're funny. -[both laugh] 225 00:10:38,261 --> 00:10:39,821 -Hey, baby. -Hi. 226 00:10:39,901 --> 00:10:40,821 Hey. 227 00:10:42,061 --> 00:10:43,021 Okay. 228 00:10:43,901 --> 00:10:45,381 -Thank you. -[clears throat] 229 00:10:45,461 --> 00:10:46,741 -George. -Jack. 230 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,261 I'm on shrooms. 231 00:10:49,341 --> 00:10:50,581 -You're on mushrooms? -Yeah. 232 00:10:50,661 --> 00:10:52,461 Guys, I'm so sorry I'm late. 233 00:10:52,541 --> 00:10:53,461 So sorry. 234 00:10:53,541 --> 00:10:55,101 -Hey. Hey. -Hey, gorgeous. 235 00:10:55,181 --> 00:10:56,141 He's fit. 236 00:10:56,221 --> 00:10:57,261 -[Elliott] Mae. -Hi. 237 00:10:57,341 --> 00:10:59,061 -I've heard so much about you. -Oh, good. 238 00:10:59,141 --> 00:11:01,661 I think it's really beautiful that you suggested this. 239 00:11:01,741 --> 00:11:04,461 Oh, yes, yes. Beautiful. 240 00:11:04,541 --> 00:11:08,061 Welcome, time travelers, to ancient Egypt. 241 00:11:08,141 --> 00:11:12,541 It appears that my evil twin brother, Dr. Spink, 242 00:11:12,621 --> 00:11:15,621 has trapped us in Tutankhamun's tomb. 243 00:11:15,701 --> 00:11:16,541 Oh, no. 244 00:11:16,621 --> 00:11:18,741 You have one hour to escape the tomb 245 00:11:18,821 --> 00:11:22,061 and stop Ragnarök with the Orb of Ra! 246 00:11:22,941 --> 00:11:25,021 And please don't pull the stuff off the walls, okay? 247 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,301 Otherwise I get a right fucking bollocking, yeah? 248 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,981 -[laughing] Do that again. -[laughing] Like the legs? 249 00:11:31,061 --> 00:11:34,141 Mae, so you and Jack seem like a wonderful couple. 250 00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:35,701 Oh, yeah. 251 00:11:35,781 --> 00:11:38,781 -We really are. He's a very special guy. -Great. 252 00:11:39,461 --> 00:11:40,381 Oh. [gasps] 253 00:11:42,221 --> 00:11:45,861 Listen, I think it's great that you and George have got to this place of closure 254 00:11:45,941 --> 00:11:46,821 so quickly. 255 00:11:46,901 --> 00:11:51,341 Yeah, we've always moved very quickly through the stages of… 256 00:11:51,421 --> 00:11:54,621 Like, we… we moved in together insanely quickly, actually. 257 00:11:54,701 --> 00:11:57,221 Perhaps that acceleration contributed to it ending. 258 00:11:57,821 --> 00:12:00,421 I don't think maybe we need to talk about this right now. 259 00:12:00,501 --> 00:12:02,981 Well, maybe Mae wants to talk about it. 260 00:12:03,061 --> 00:12:04,181 -Yeah. Okay. -[Mae] Um… 261 00:12:04,781 --> 00:12:07,221 To be honest, we've never really talked about it. 262 00:12:07,981 --> 00:12:11,061 -And it was my fault that it ended. -It was… It was my fault that it ended. 263 00:12:11,141 --> 00:12:14,021 George, what are you talking about? I came into your life like a tornado 264 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,461 full of sticks and poo. 265 00:12:15,541 --> 00:12:16,381 [grunting] 266 00:12:16,461 --> 00:12:17,621 [eerie moan] 267 00:12:17,701 --> 00:12:18,941 [gasps] 268 00:12:19,021 --> 00:12:24,181 I made Mae, like, erratic and anxious, by keeping you a secret. 269 00:12:24,261 --> 00:12:27,221 -I mean, I… I was so repressed. -That's not true. 270 00:12:27,301 --> 00:12:28,501 She self-destructed. 271 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,741 Self-destructed? I mean, what did that look like? 272 00:12:31,341 --> 00:12:33,781 She relapsed. 273 00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:37,421 Okay, I mean, look, it was one night of coke with a sad businessman. 274 00:12:37,501 --> 00:12:38,341 What? 275 00:12:39,101 --> 00:12:40,821 -You did coke? -I thought that's what-- 276 00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:43,501 Mae, I was talking about the pills in the hospital. You did coke? 277 00:12:43,581 --> 00:12:45,941 Look, I fucked up, but then I went to rehab in Canada 278 00:12:46,021 --> 00:12:47,381 and now I'm absolutely fine now. 279 00:12:47,461 --> 00:12:49,061 You went to rehab and I was like… 280 00:12:49,141 --> 00:12:52,741 I was just here hooking up with someone else. Mae, I'm so sorry. 281 00:12:52,821 --> 00:12:54,821 I mean, I hooked up with someone first anyway. 282 00:12:54,901 --> 00:12:56,301 What, who? Jack? 283 00:12:57,941 --> 00:12:59,141 I had sex with Lava. 284 00:12:59,221 --> 00:13:00,581 Oh fuck off. What? 285 00:13:02,541 --> 00:13:03,661 [screams] 286 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,981 -Do you still have feelings for her? -No, I do not. 287 00:13:06,061 --> 00:13:09,101 -I do not. Of course not. -'Cause I just always felt important… 288 00:13:09,181 --> 00:13:10,341 [sniffling] 289 00:13:10,421 --> 00:13:12,261 [Professor Spink] Okay, say cheese! 290 00:13:13,181 --> 00:13:14,741 Can you stop crying? 291 00:13:15,541 --> 00:13:17,421 -Cheese. -Cheese! 292 00:13:19,941 --> 00:13:20,821 Oh God. 293 00:13:21,341 --> 00:13:24,341 Oh God, I'm so sorry, Elliott. That was hell. 294 00:13:24,421 --> 00:13:25,261 Yeah. 295 00:13:25,341 --> 00:13:29,461 Yeah, well, but look, George, I would never ever, ever tell you what to do. 296 00:13:29,541 --> 00:13:30,581 -All right? -Yeah. 297 00:13:30,661 --> 00:13:33,861 It just feels like if you guys can't even spend ten minutes 298 00:13:33,941 --> 00:13:36,981 in an Egyptian tomb without completely imploding, 299 00:13:37,061 --> 00:13:39,621 some real healing needs to happen before you spend time together. 300 00:13:39,701 --> 00:13:41,181 [sighs] What do I do? 301 00:13:41,261 --> 00:13:43,461 I mean, look, it's not for me to say. It really isn't. 302 00:13:43,541 --> 00:13:45,901 -And as a rule, I never give any advice. -Okay. 303 00:13:45,981 --> 00:13:47,661 But I would completely cut contact. 304 00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:57,341 -Hey. You okay? -Hi. 305 00:13:58,541 --> 00:13:59,501 [scoffs] 306 00:14:00,541 --> 00:14:01,381 [sniffling] 307 00:14:02,221 --> 00:14:04,541 I guess we're not really friends yet, are we? 308 00:14:04,621 --> 00:14:07,021 -Maybe we should like just-- -Yeah. 309 00:14:07,101 --> 00:14:07,941 [sniffling] 310 00:14:10,381 --> 00:14:13,301 Can you promise me that you are not going to self-destruct? 311 00:14:13,821 --> 00:14:14,661 [scoffs] 312 00:14:15,461 --> 00:14:16,901 'Course I'm not… [snorts] 313 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,861 'Course I'm not gonna self-destruct. 314 00:14:19,621 --> 00:14:22,501 -So what are you gonna do now? -I think I'm gonna self-destruct. 315 00:14:25,861 --> 00:14:27,541 -[phone camera clicks] -Hello? 316 00:14:28,221 --> 00:14:32,501 Sorry, I'm a massive fan of your comedy. Sorry for being weird. 317 00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:35,061 -Ah. -I just think you're really brave, 318 00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:37,061 like getting clean. 319 00:14:37,821 --> 00:14:39,661 Can't wait to see what you do next. [chuckles] 320 00:14:39,741 --> 00:14:40,821 She's gonna self-destruct. 321 00:14:40,901 --> 00:14:42,141 -[woman] Oh. -Well, I-- 322 00:14:42,221 --> 00:14:43,061 Okay. 323 00:14:44,941 --> 00:14:47,541 I hope you don't. [laughs] 324 00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:48,461 Sorry. 325 00:14:48,981 --> 00:14:50,181 -Bye. -[Mae] Bye. 326 00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:53,301 I… I hope you don't either, by the way. 327 00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:57,861 [rock music playing] 328 00:15:10,381 --> 00:15:13,781 I'm so glad you called. I told everyone in the office about you. 329 00:15:13,861 --> 00:15:15,821 Like I'm totally fucking hog wild. 330 00:15:15,901 --> 00:15:19,821 I even brought the big boss to see you. Why don't you do some trans stuff tonight? 331 00:15:19,901 --> 00:15:23,381 -Okay. So do you think I'm trans? -And take a groupie home after the show. 332 00:15:23,461 --> 00:15:26,101 We love that. Do you know we used to represent David Wells? 333 00:15:26,181 --> 00:15:28,021 The rebel rock star comedian of the 90s. 334 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,741 Didn't he die in a hotel room? 335 00:15:29,821 --> 00:15:32,341 Where can I get like a pint of wine around here? 336 00:15:32,941 --> 00:15:35,421 Hey, can you tell Donna I'm looking to sign with someone too. 337 00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:37,541 Yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah. 338 00:15:39,661 --> 00:15:40,901 All right, what's up? 339 00:15:41,421 --> 00:15:42,301 Um… 340 00:15:43,021 --> 00:15:43,901 I miss George. 341 00:15:44,941 --> 00:15:47,621 I miss blow. But we're both better off now. 342 00:15:49,821 --> 00:15:50,941 Are we? 343 00:15:51,021 --> 00:15:53,341 Because I just keep replaying the past. 344 00:15:54,781 --> 00:15:55,741 Check this out. 345 00:15:56,341 --> 00:15:58,341 -Thirty days sober. -That's good. 346 00:15:58,421 --> 00:15:59,741 Well done, man. Well done. 347 00:16:00,261 --> 00:16:03,101 You see this key chain, and Donna out there. 348 00:16:03,621 --> 00:16:05,221 That's progress. We're getting shit done. 349 00:16:05,301 --> 00:16:08,141 So stop acting like some aging retired rocker. 350 00:16:08,221 --> 00:16:09,861 You're 30 and you look 12. 351 00:16:09,941 --> 00:16:11,861 -[laughs] -Look ahead. 352 00:16:11,941 --> 00:16:13,861 Leave all that toxic shit in the past. 353 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,541 [atmospheric music playing] 354 00:16:20,581 --> 00:16:21,941 [phone vibrating] 355 00:16:27,941 --> 00:16:29,941 -Hi. -Hey. Hi, it's Mae. 356 00:16:30,741 --> 00:16:31,581 Uh, Mae Martin. 357 00:16:31,661 --> 00:16:32,741 Yeah. [chuckles] 358 00:16:32,821 --> 00:16:37,341 I… I'm really sorry for calling. I just… I wanted to ask you something. 359 00:16:37,941 --> 00:16:41,861 Um, do you think that we were, like, toxic? 360 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,941 I keep hearing that word. 361 00:16:45,621 --> 00:16:48,781 Um, I don't know anymore. 362 00:16:50,021 --> 00:16:50,981 Sometimes. 363 00:16:51,061 --> 00:16:52,421 Yeah, maybe sometimes, 364 00:16:53,581 --> 00:16:57,221 but then didn't it sometimes also feel good? 365 00:16:57,301 --> 00:16:58,141 Like… 366 00:16:59,541 --> 00:17:01,301 Like pushing on a bruise, you know? 367 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,021 Yeah, fuck, it did. 368 00:17:03,101 --> 00:17:06,461 Do you remember, like, that first night that we met? 369 00:17:07,101 --> 00:17:08,741 -[doorbell rings] -Is someone at the door? 370 00:17:08,821 --> 00:17:11,861 -Perhaps a package you need to sign for? -I've got an Elliott. 371 00:17:11,941 --> 00:17:13,541 Elliott's coming over. 372 00:17:13,621 --> 00:17:15,061 Oh. Um… 373 00:17:15,141 --> 00:17:15,981 Yeah, cool. 374 00:17:16,061 --> 00:17:18,541 Okay. Well, I have to go anyway. I have to go on stage, 375 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:21,781 and after the show, I'll probably have sexual intercourse with Jack. 376 00:17:22,381 --> 00:17:23,541 -Okay. -[Mae] Maybe a fan. 377 00:17:23,621 --> 00:17:26,221 Just do some really sort of fucked-up stuff. 378 00:17:26,301 --> 00:17:29,741 -Okay. -So you enjoy being tender with Elliott. 379 00:17:29,821 --> 00:17:30,701 Yeah. 380 00:17:30,781 --> 00:17:33,741 And I will talk to you in a couple of months. 381 00:17:33,821 --> 00:17:34,941 Okay. Bye. 382 00:17:40,621 --> 00:17:42,821 Are we really having sexual intercourse later? 383 00:17:42,901 --> 00:17:46,461 Part of the process of my recovery is that I must make amends 384 00:17:46,541 --> 00:17:47,781 to those I have wronged. 385 00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,541 I have wronged you all and I owe you an amends. 386 00:17:50,621 --> 00:17:51,861 [audience laughing] 387 00:17:51,941 --> 00:17:53,901 Stop laughing, this… this isn't a joke. 388 00:17:53,981 --> 00:17:55,301 [audience laughing] 389 00:17:55,381 --> 00:17:58,021 Whatever. Just, um, welcome to the stage, 390 00:17:58,661 --> 00:17:59,861 Mae Martin. 391 00:17:59,941 --> 00:18:01,941 [audience cheering, applauding] 392 00:18:05,901 --> 00:18:08,621 Uh, I'm Mae, it's nice to be back at the Gag Bin. 393 00:18:08,701 --> 00:18:09,581 [audience cheering] 394 00:18:09,661 --> 00:18:12,901 Um, so what do you guys think about Chevy Chase? 395 00:18:12,981 --> 00:18:15,021 You think that guy's pretty wackadoodle or what? 396 00:18:15,101 --> 00:18:16,181 [scattered laugh] 397 00:18:17,701 --> 00:18:18,741 [mouthing] 398 00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:25,341 Do you want to talk about my personal despair? 399 00:18:25,421 --> 00:18:26,661 -[audience] Yeah. -Is that more… 400 00:18:26,741 --> 00:18:29,901 Yeah. All right. Well, I broke up with my girlfriend recently. 401 00:18:29,981 --> 00:18:31,581 -[woman] Aw. -Thank you for your sympathy, 402 00:18:31,661 --> 00:18:33,541 um, and she's on a date right now 403 00:18:34,341 --> 00:18:39,541 and I'm just a dehydrated Sea-Monkey, I guess, waiting to be reanimated 404 00:18:39,621 --> 00:18:41,661 -by a droplet of her love. -[audience laughing] 405 00:18:41,741 --> 00:18:45,781 My point is if anybody wants me to ferociously finger them after the show, 406 00:18:45,861 --> 00:18:48,021 I'm more than happy to do that. 407 00:18:48,101 --> 00:18:51,261 -Whoo! Yes! Pick me! -[audience laughing, applauding] 408 00:18:51,341 --> 00:18:53,941 Wow. Okay. Thank you. 409 00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,781 [narrator on TV] For the queer Amish farmers, 410 00:18:56,861 --> 00:18:58,981 Rumspringa is a welcome respite… 411 00:18:59,061 --> 00:19:01,221 Can you pass the wasabi peas? 412 00:19:02,221 --> 00:19:03,661 -Yeah. -Please. 413 00:19:05,301 --> 00:19:06,141 Thanks. 414 00:19:06,821 --> 00:19:07,661 Um… 415 00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:09,021 So, hey. 416 00:19:10,541 --> 00:19:13,301 So, I'm… I'm really loving this doc, 417 00:19:14,181 --> 00:19:18,101 but, um, there's this… there's this really fit 418 00:19:18,621 --> 00:19:23,421 Ukrainian group sex video on YouPorn that I've been wanking to recently. 419 00:19:24,101 --> 00:19:26,141 -Right. -Wait. I'm actually gonna… 420 00:19:26,221 --> 00:19:27,421 [switches off TV] 421 00:19:27,501 --> 00:19:30,341 So it's set in this, um, in this Soviet nunnery 422 00:19:30,421 --> 00:19:34,701 and the nuns are routinely punished by their lecherous archbishop, 423 00:19:34,781 --> 00:19:36,621 and I mean like punished in the ass. 424 00:19:36,701 --> 00:19:38,101 Like, it's wild. 425 00:19:38,181 --> 00:19:41,941 -Yeah, I was really enjoying connecting… -[woman moaning on phone] 426 00:19:42,021 --> 00:19:43,381 …and learning with you tonight. 427 00:19:43,461 --> 00:19:45,141 -Do you know what I mean? -Yeah. 428 00:19:45,221 --> 00:19:46,821 -[woman moaning] -Whoa, that is fucked up. 429 00:19:46,901 --> 00:19:47,741 Yeah. 430 00:19:49,181 --> 00:19:53,141 And it's like… it's like you said, coming out is like going through puberty 431 00:19:53,221 --> 00:19:55,941 and there's just like so much stuff I want to try. 432 00:19:56,021 --> 00:19:57,741 I've never been with a bisexual guy, 433 00:19:57,821 --> 00:20:01,221 like, maybe you and another guy could pulverize me. 434 00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:02,781 -George! -What? 435 00:20:02,861 --> 00:20:05,381 Where'd you learn to normalize that type of aggressive language? 436 00:20:05,461 --> 00:20:06,301 I-- 437 00:20:06,381 --> 00:20:10,821 It just seems like what you're into is rooted in problematic power dynamics. 438 00:20:10,901 --> 00:20:12,981 Yeah, but that's… that can be fit. 439 00:20:13,061 --> 00:20:15,341 Like… like, sex can be fucked up. 440 00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:18,341 -Like Jafar and Jasmin. -George, you deserve more than Jafar. 441 00:20:18,421 --> 00:20:19,741 No, I'm the Jafar. 442 00:20:21,061 --> 00:20:24,221 Okay, you have got a lot of unlearning to do. 443 00:20:24,901 --> 00:20:26,621 All right? Um… 444 00:20:27,781 --> 00:20:32,501 [laughs] Okay, here's a collection of essays on feminist sexuality. 445 00:20:32,581 --> 00:20:34,861 -Yeah? Just to get you started. -Okay. 446 00:20:34,941 --> 00:20:38,021 Here's a chapter on the link between the male orgasm and war crimes. 447 00:20:38,101 --> 00:20:41,701 I just wanted to watch a bishop smack a nun on the pussy with a Bible, okay? 448 00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:46,021 [Donna] And I'm sitting there watching you, thinking, there's that pain, 449 00:20:46,101 --> 00:20:48,461 you know? And that's your generation. 450 00:20:49,101 --> 00:20:51,621 You're sad. You're really, really sad. 451 00:20:51,701 --> 00:20:53,701 So you're… you're not gonna sign me? 452 00:20:53,781 --> 00:20:56,821 Oh my God, if you don't sign with me, I will commit arson. 453 00:20:56,901 --> 00:20:59,141 -The big boss loved it. -Really? 454 00:20:59,221 --> 00:21:00,341 [Donna] Mm-hmm. 455 00:21:00,421 --> 00:21:03,541 Okay, so great. Thank you. So I have an agent. 456 00:21:03,621 --> 00:21:05,541 -Absolutely, you do. -Oh, sick! 457 00:21:05,621 --> 00:21:07,941 We'll speak tomorrow. We've got a lot of work to do, 458 00:21:08,021 --> 00:21:11,261 and there's already a groupie waiting for you outside the door. 459 00:21:12,621 --> 00:21:13,701 To fuck you, babe. 460 00:21:13,781 --> 00:21:16,261 -Oh, yeah. Hmm, thanks. -Have fun. 461 00:21:18,141 --> 00:21:19,341 Hi, Mae! 462 00:21:19,421 --> 00:21:23,101 Excuse me, um, I've been thinking, are you properly single now? 463 00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:26,821 Because we slept together a couple of times already in 2018. 464 00:21:26,901 --> 00:21:28,181 I hope you remember. 465 00:21:28,261 --> 00:21:32,181 And my willie loved it, and we live together now, so I thought-- 466 00:21:32,261 --> 00:21:34,581 If I'm gonna bang someone, I'll just stay somewhere else. 467 00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:37,981 Oh, no, that's not what I meant. That's the opposite of what I meant. 468 00:21:38,061 --> 00:21:38,901 Sorry. 469 00:21:39,701 --> 00:21:41,101 -Hi. -[George] Hi. 470 00:21:41,181 --> 00:21:42,821 Uh, oh sorry. Are you busy? 471 00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:44,861 No, no, I'm not. I'm definitely not. 472 00:21:45,941 --> 00:21:47,581 -Hi. I'm George. -Yes. 473 00:21:48,461 --> 00:21:50,781 You are George. Are you okay? 474 00:21:50,861 --> 00:21:52,061 I'm a big fan. 475 00:21:52,141 --> 00:21:54,101 I was just with my friends, 476 00:21:54,181 --> 00:21:56,821 but I lied so I could stay and talk to you. 477 00:21:57,941 --> 00:21:59,061 Oh, wow. 478 00:21:59,661 --> 00:22:02,461 Okay. Wow. Well, it's really nice to meet you. 479 00:22:04,341 --> 00:22:06,061 Sorry, but what the hell is happening? 480 00:22:06,581 --> 00:22:08,821 -I'm sorry. What was your name again? -George. 481 00:22:08,901 --> 00:22:09,981 -George. -Yeah. 482 00:22:10,061 --> 00:22:12,261 What's your situation? Do you have a boyfriend? 483 00:22:12,341 --> 00:22:13,821 I don't have a boyfriend. 484 00:22:13,901 --> 00:22:14,781 -[Mae] No? -No. 485 00:22:15,461 --> 00:22:17,541 -Definitely not? -Definitely not. 486 00:22:18,141 --> 00:22:19,461 That's good. [laughs] 487 00:22:20,101 --> 00:22:22,341 -Why? Why do you ask? -I just asked because… 488 00:22:24,661 --> 00:22:27,941 I really want to go back to your house and take off your clothes. 489 00:22:29,941 --> 00:22:30,821 And make you cum. 490 00:22:32,061 --> 00:22:32,901 Fuck. 491 00:22:37,181 --> 00:22:38,901 I've never done this before. 492 00:22:40,141 --> 00:22:41,101 Are you nervous? 493 00:22:43,181 --> 00:22:45,221 -Are you? -No. 494 00:22:50,461 --> 00:22:52,461 ["Jealous Guy" playing] 495 00:23:06,541 --> 00:23:11,581 ♪ I was dreaming of the past ♪ 496 00:23:14,261 --> 00:23:17,421 ♪ And my heart was beating fast ♪ 497 00:23:18,021 --> 00:23:19,501 [moaning] 498 00:23:22,981 --> 00:23:23,941 -George. -Yeah? 499 00:23:24,781 --> 00:23:26,021 Will you do something for me? 500 00:23:26,101 --> 00:23:29,341 Will you tell me that you're never going to tell your friends about me? 501 00:23:29,421 --> 00:23:30,301 [exhales] 502 00:23:31,421 --> 00:23:32,621 Oh, fuck. 503 00:23:33,501 --> 00:23:34,901 [moans] 504 00:23:34,981 --> 00:23:37,541 I'm never gonna tell anyone about this ever. 505 00:23:38,701 --> 00:23:42,661 -Wait, but you do know this is fake-- -I know, I just wanted to hear you say it. 506 00:23:42,741 --> 00:23:43,861 -Okay. -Just say it. 507 00:23:50,461 --> 00:23:51,981 -Listen to me. -Uh-huh. 508 00:23:52,061 --> 00:23:55,021 I'm never gonna tell anyone about this. 509 00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:56,301 Oh, fuck. 510 00:23:57,101 --> 00:24:00,341 Tell me you're gonna punish me for being a basic straight girl. 511 00:24:00,421 --> 00:24:01,581 Oh my God. 512 00:24:03,301 --> 00:24:06,461 But wait, you know that I respect your multifaceted sexuality-- 513 00:24:06,541 --> 00:24:07,381 Say it. 514 00:24:08,181 --> 00:24:09,541 -George. -Yeah? 515 00:24:12,101 --> 00:24:14,541 I'm gonna absolutely fucking destroy you. 516 00:24:15,421 --> 00:24:16,341 [exhales] 517 00:24:19,861 --> 00:24:21,781 If you ever speak to Lava again, 518 00:24:23,501 --> 00:24:25,341 I'm gonna slit her bird throat. 519 00:24:25,421 --> 00:24:26,301 [chuckles softly] 520 00:24:27,141 --> 00:24:28,621 -Okay. -Okay? 521 00:24:29,341 --> 00:24:30,181 Yup. 522 00:24:31,541 --> 00:24:36,581 ♪ I was shivering inside ♪ 523 00:24:39,141 --> 00:24:44,941 ♪ I didn't mean to hurt you ♪ 524 00:24:47,101 --> 00:24:51,781 ♪ And I'm sorry I made you cry ♪ 525 00:24:54,421 --> 00:24:57,741 Whoa. Mae, my small dude! 526 00:24:57,821 --> 00:24:59,821 Hi, I'm Mae. 527 00:25:00,461 --> 00:25:02,341 [George] This is my flatmate. I found him online. 528 00:25:02,421 --> 00:25:03,821 Um, Phil, this is Mae. 529 00:25:04,421 --> 00:25:06,101 -Hi. -What? 530 00:25:07,061 --> 00:25:08,701 But Mae, it's… it's me Phil. 531 00:25:08,781 --> 00:25:11,421 Oh my God, don't you remember? What fresh hell is this? 532 00:25:11,501 --> 00:25:13,061 -Mae! -Phil. 533 00:25:13,141 --> 00:25:15,461 It's all fine. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? 534 00:25:19,101 --> 00:25:19,981 [chuckles] 535 00:25:20,541 --> 00:25:22,541 [breathing heavily] 536 00:25:27,421 --> 00:25:28,501 [laughing] 537 00:25:30,741 --> 00:25:31,861 -[exhales] -[laughs] 538 00:25:32,861 --> 00:25:34,101 That was fucked up. 539 00:25:34,181 --> 00:25:35,021 Yeah. 540 00:25:35,661 --> 00:25:36,541 Oh my… 541 00:25:37,541 --> 00:25:38,581 I loved it. 542 00:25:41,461 --> 00:25:44,141 I've never had sex that dark before, have you? 543 00:25:46,221 --> 00:25:47,061 I… 544 00:25:48,941 --> 00:25:51,941 [breathes deeply] 545 00:25:52,021 --> 00:25:54,021 [tense music playing] 546 00:25:57,341 --> 00:25:58,181 George. 547 00:25:58,701 --> 00:25:59,541 Yeah? 548 00:26:00,381 --> 00:26:02,221 I think I need to lie under the bed. 549 00:26:02,821 --> 00:26:03,781 Really? 550 00:26:04,301 --> 00:26:05,861 Do you… Do you want some space? 551 00:26:07,621 --> 00:26:10,581 -Do you wanna come with me under the bed? -Okay. 552 00:26:10,661 --> 00:26:12,901 ["How Come My Body" by Half Moon Run playing] 553 00:26:19,301 --> 00:26:20,901 Mae, why are we under here? 554 00:26:23,861 --> 00:26:24,941 [inhales deeply] 555 00:26:25,781 --> 00:26:26,741 I'm not sure. 556 00:26:28,741 --> 00:26:29,581 Okay. 557 00:26:31,421 --> 00:26:35,021 ♪ Fits just like a bruise? ♪ 558 00:26:36,301 --> 00:26:40,421 ♪ Oh, you're gone to me ♪ 559 00:26:40,501 --> 00:26:42,501 [music continues] 560 00:27:02,301 --> 00:27:04,581 ♪ Oh, you're gone… ♪