1
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,360
At the moment, David,
I have nine boyfriends.

2
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,840
And then, of course,
I also have my husband.

3
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,880
And none of them know about each other.

4
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,680
It's a full-time job.

5
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,360
I don't know how I always let this happen.

6
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,640
Well, Brenda,
this sounds like a textbook expression

7
00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,280
of an addictive personality.

8
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,320
What does that mean, David?

9
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:38,120
Uh, people with addictive personalities
are impulsive.

10
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,600
They're sensation-seeking.

11
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,000
You may find
that this facet of your personality--

12
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:43,200
Facet.

13
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,080
-For God's sake.
-[David] Okay, Maggie.

14
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,280
You've talked about your daughter
in the group before.

15
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,080
How would you characterize
that relationship?

16
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,800
Is it steady? Consistent?

17
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,440
It's a mess. She hates me. I need her.

18
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,120
Mae.

19
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,640
-Hello.
-[David] You've mentioned feeling

20
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,600
anxious about your girlfriend before.

21
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:02,640
Do you think there's some part of you that
enjoys or attracts intensity and drama?

22
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:06,240
Um, no,
we're actually very good right now.

23
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:08,680
It was stressful
and then now it's very good.

24
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,800
It's just the greatest love story
ever told, so it's incredibly chill.

25
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,200
Well, that's wonderful, darling.

26
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:14,960
Has she introduced you
to her friends then?

27
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:20,840
Uh, you can transform
a toxic relationship into a healthy one.

28
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,880
I've been with my partner, Stuart,
for 11 years

29
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,560
and we've had our difficulties.

30
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,800
He's entirely dependent on me financially.

31
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:27,960
[phone buzzes]

32
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,960
But ultimately you've gotta settle in.
You can't just operate on adrenaline.

33
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,520
Wha-- I... I gotta go.

34
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:37,560
Sorry, my uncle needs a lift to karate.

35
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,480
[rock music playing]

36
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:44,560
[men vocalizing]

37
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,120
Oh, my God.
I didn't think you'd actually come.

38
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,920
You said to come
as a matter of urgency.

39
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,320
Yeah, I ran home and then I ran here.
I ran like Tom Cruise.

40
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,960
Oh, my God. I'm gonna lose my job.

41
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,640
-What the fuck is wrong with me?
-Wait.

42
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,200
-Did anyone see you?
-Yeah, a kid saw me.

43
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:01,120
But guess what?

44
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,000
I told them I was a ghost
and they believed me.

45
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,280
-No. [laughs]
-How are you?

46
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,440
-How's your day going?
-No, there's no time.

47
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:09,880
Wait. Why did you run home
before you ran here?

48
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,520
I got the dick. I got a strap-on.

49
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,280
Oh, my God, great. Can you put it on?

50
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,920
-Yeah, or you could.
-What?

51
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,400
I don't know. You could put it on.
You've never really worn it.

52
00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,480
Yeah, I have, but I hold it in my hand
like a weapon, like it's the same thing.

53
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,800
-Is it the same thing?
-Mae, it really suits you.

54
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,960
-I don't think I'd suit a massive cock.
-[Mae] I really think you would actually,

55
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,000
-but okay.
-George!

56
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:31,680
Joyce... is there. That's good, yeah.
I was just fixing that, sorry.

57
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,080
It was a little squeaky,
like a mouse, so it's fixed.

58
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,440
-So, I've got the scoop.
-Okay, what scoop?

59
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,320
-Okay, you know the fit new PE teacher?
-Yeah.

60
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,240
You know how we said
we wanted to be the field

61
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,640
and let him be the sprinklers

62
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,000
and he could irrigate us
until we were fertile.

63
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,720
-Did I say that?
-He's single.

64
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,600
Praise the Lord! He's single.

65
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,400
-May the best woman win.
-Okay.

66
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,240
[deep voice]
May the odds be ever in your favor.

67
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,000
[laughs]

68
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,440
-The Hunger Games, George.
-Oh.

69
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,760
Well, I've got to go make
a papier-mâché model

70
00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,440
of the female reproductive system, so...

71
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,640
Well, great.

72
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,080
Okay, thanks, Joyce.

73
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,880
-Hi.
-Hello.

74
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,640
Oh, Mae, come on. It's Joyce.

75
00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:24,440
I don't talk to Joyce
about my personal life.

76
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,520
Okay. I'm gonna make you come,
then you can fuck me.

77
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:27,880
I don't think I can come, George,

78
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,520
'cause I'm not the one that gets turned on
from being in a closet,

79
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,840
if you catch my drift.

80
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,680
Look, how can you not think this is fit?

81
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,360
Okay, it's forbidden.
It's like the Montagues and the Capulets.

82
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:37,800
I've never seen Macbeth.

83
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,360
[school bell rings]

84
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,040
-[door slams]
-Oh, my God.

85
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,360
No. Are you serious?

86
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,920
I'm so sorry.
I'll make it up to you. I'm sorry.

87
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,000
[alternative pop music playing]

88
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,600
Okay, so who did the assignment
that I set on Friday?

89
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,680
Can you take out your papers for the test?

90
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:05,840
♪ Close all the doors ♪

91
00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:10,400
♪ Turn off tonight
And let those thin ribbons of light ♪

92
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:11,320
[camera clicks]

93
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,800
-♪ Work their way... ♪
-[phone beeps]

94
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,760
-♪ Try and remember what I've seen ♪
-[snickers]

95
00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,280
♪ Raid upon eyes... ♪

96
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,240
Thanks, everyone!

97
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,760
Bye, yep, see you tomorrow, yep!

98
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:30,640
Hello.

99
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:31,720
[exhales]

100
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,440
Mae, Mae, Mae, Mae, Mae.

101
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:36,360
Wait, wait, wait.

102
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,160
Can you go out the window?

103
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,400
I'll pick you up from your gig.

104
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,800
[bell clanging]

105
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,080
[vocalizing in falsetto]

106
00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:50,000
Guys.

107
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,160
Hey, hey, hey. Hey!

108
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,800
That was the worst show
I have ever hosted in my entire life.

109
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,920
-What happened?
-I thought it was brilliant.

110
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,560
-I had a great time.
-You had your eyes closed the entire set.

111
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:02,760
What do you mean?

112
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,600
Mae. What the fuck?

113
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,480
Sorry, I just wasn't feeling it.

114
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,960
I don't know why I bombed so hard.

115
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,400
-Well, I do. It's obvious.
-What?

116
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,360
What's the common denominator
every time you bomb?

117
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,840
It's 'cause you're having some problem
or some argument with your girl--

118
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:18,840
[George] Hello.

119
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,640
Nick, why have you stopped talking?

120
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:26,360
What's happening?

121
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,640
-Look... come on. Let's go.
-Where are we going?

122
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:30,840
[Nick] Mae. Excuse me.

123
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,600
[Nick] Fuck!

124
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,400
Well, well, well.

125
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,360
So, well, how did it go?

126
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,120
Not good. Very not good.

127
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,200
-I was insecure the whole time.
-I really like it when you're insecure

128
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:45,320
because you touch your hair a lot
and it's really fit.

129
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,240
Look, I'm really sorry about earlier,
okay, but I'm going to make it up to you.

130
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:51,680
How?

131
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:56,800
Sorry.

132
00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,280
-What? Mae, stop apologizing. It's okay.
-Sorry.

133
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:00,960
I don't know what's wrong.

134
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,360
I'm so close.

135
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,960
I've been so close for like 45 minutes.

136
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:07,720
I'm not in a hurry. Okay?

137
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,440
I just-- I might just have
to switch hands in a minute.

138
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,360
Oh, my God, no. This is humiliating.

139
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,360
No, Mae, no. It happens to everyone, okay.

140
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,520
Not to me.

141
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,800
I can usually come just from thinking
about the musical Chicago.

142
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,560
-Well, then it is my fault.
-No.

143
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,320
Look, why don't I just
go down on you again?

144
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,160
-Why don't I fuck you again?
-No, Mae, please, come on.

145
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:26,760
I really want you to come.

146
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:27,800
Okay?

147
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,960
Can you say that again?
But, like, in the voice of Susan Sarandon.

148
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,040
Um, okay. My...

149
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,480
My name is Susan Sarandon.

150
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:40,920
-A little lower.
-[deep voice] My--

151
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,280
-Mmm.
-My name is Susan Sarandon

152
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,040
and I really want you to come.

153
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:47,920
-Yeah, that's good.
-Yeah?

154
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,160
Can you say more stuff?

155
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:53,240
Oh, my favorite role,
well, Thelma & Louise

156
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,560
-was a commercial--
-Okay, not about Thelma & Louise,

157
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:57,720
like stuff about me.

158
00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,200
Oh, yeah.

159
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:00,480
Like can you tell me,

160
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,280
like, tell me
that you don't want me to come.

161
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,640
Um, I don't--

162
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,320
-In the voice of Susan Sarandon, please.
-Oh, okay.

163
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,400
My name is Susan Sarandon,

164
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:14,480
and if you come,
I will be absolutely furious.

165
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,720
Fuck, yeah.

166
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,560
-I will be so angry.
-How angry?

167
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:19,960
I will be so angry,

168
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:23,680
that I will close down
all the cinemas in the land.

169
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,440
-[Phil] Yeah!
-[woman moaning loudly]

170
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,400
Oh, my God. Is that Phil?

171
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:29,440
[woman] Oh, God!

172
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,200
What's wrong with me?

173
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:32,880
[Mae groans]

174
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,480
Mae, look at me. Look at me.

175
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:36,200
Mae.

176
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,320
What would make you happy in this moment?

177
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,760
Okay, just say anything,
I won't be freaked out.

178
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,120
I want to do a role-play.

179
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,920
I want to do, like, a fit role-play

180
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,440
where, like, your parents
come around for dinner

181
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:53,040
and I get to meet them and then they leave
and then we bone fresh.

182
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:56,480
Uh, yeah, okay.
I really want to do a sexual role-play

183
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,160
that involves my parents?

184
00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,880
Come on,
I've just completely lost my boner.

185
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,720
Okay, forget your parents.
What about your friends?

186
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:04,840
You know, like one friend,

187
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,800
say we're out,
we bump into one of your friends.

188
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,600
You're like,
"Hi, this is my girlfriend, Mae"

189
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,240
-and I'll jizz everywhere.
-Mae,

190
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,760
I'm really sorry,
I'm really tired. Can we...

191
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,400
Can we just go to sleep?

192
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,880
Look, there's less litter everywhere.

193
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,960
Less graffiti,
lots of lovely little cafes...

194
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:29,800
[laughing] Oh, my God!

195
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:34,200
Oh, look at that massive cock.
Oh, Hugh would love that.

196
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:38,160
If you have any questions,
my name is Chella Goble.

197
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,960
Would you like to come in
for some oolong tea?

198
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,520
-Yeah--
-No, actually, no, thank you.

199
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,960
Oh, what are you going to wear tonight?

200
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,160
I don't think
I can make it tonight, Binks.

201
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,320
What? George! It's Hugh's birthday.

202
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,360
I know, I'm sorry. I really, I just...
I'm just busy.

203
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,320
Because you're hanging out
with Jonathan Crenshaw? Just bring him.

204
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,160
It's really weird
that we haven't met him yet.

205
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,080
How are things going?

206
00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,000
Um...

207
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,080
They're not--
No, actually, it's fine. Yeah.

208
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,720
Babe, George, what's happening?

209
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,440
I can't make him come.

210
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,720
-What?
-No, Binky. No, I know.

211
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,960
He's really experienced and I...

212
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:13,920
Maybe I'm bad in bed.

213
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,920
Just suck his dick. Is he gay?
My God, hilarious. Let's ask Chella Goble.

214
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:18,880
-No.
-Excuse me. Hi.

215
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,680
Um, my friend
can't make her boyfriend come,

216
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,320
so, what should she do, please?

217
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,160
Well, let me start
by thanking you for your candor.

218
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,520
-Well...
-During sex, do you find yourself

219
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:29,760
taking a passive role?

220
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,640
Um, no, I go down on him loads.

221
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:34,720
What do you mean "passive"?
That's what sex is.

222
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:39,280
Um, lots of men enjoy
relinquishing control through anal play.

223
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,240
We have a huge range of strap-ons.

224
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,040
Strap-ons are disgusting.

225
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,600
-Oh, yeah.
-[Chella] Okay.

226
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:47,720
What about a role-play scenario?
We have many costumes.

227
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,360
Okay, this is weird actually, I'm going.

228
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,160
George, can you buy
that massive cock for me?

229
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,240
-And I'll see you in the cafe.
-[George] Okay.

230
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:55,720
Um...

231
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,400
Can I have some of that oolong tea?

232
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,120
-Of course, yeah.
-Thank you.

233
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,000
Your friend's a real bitch.

234
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,240
[George] Well, yeah. Yeah.

235
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,080
[man] So funny.

236
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,160
-Oh, thanks. Thanks, man.
-It was great.

237
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,360
-You were good.
-Thanks.

238
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:14,800
Oh, my God. It's you.

239
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,000
-Maggie's daughter.
-Yes.

240
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,520
-Lava.
-Laura.

241
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,840
My mum was high
when she named me Lava. I hate it.

242
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:22,880
I really like it.

243
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,480
What are you doing here?
Who are you here to see?

244
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,760
You said you were a comedian
so I looked you up.

245
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,400
-You looked me up?
-Yes. That's what I just said.

246
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,000
Okay, cool.

247
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,360
I wanted to ask you if you meant it.

248
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,480
About my mum being good. I want to know.

249
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,200
Oh, my God. She's the best.

250
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:44,720
She's my sponsor and she takes care of me
and she, like, helps me stay clean

251
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,800
and we do pottery together.

252
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,280
She wants to meet up.

253
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,280
I really think you should.

254
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,280
She's, like, my rock.

255
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:54,720
Thanks.

256
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,400
See you around.

257
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:57,800
Okay, bye.

258
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,360
Is that true what you said onstage?

259
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:02,560
You can't come?

260
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,080
Yeah.

261
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,560
I think I have some problem.
I should go to the doctor, but...

262
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,200
-What makes you think it's your problem?
-What do you mean?

263
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,680
If you were my girlfriend,
I'd make you come in under a minute.

264
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:14,920
Uh...

265
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,240
[alternative ballad playing]

266
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:23,520
[women vocalizing]

267
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,440
George, I think we need to talk about--
Oh, my God!

268
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:31,760
What is happening?

269
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,200
I'd love to talk, Mae,
but I'm afraid you're under arrest.

270
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:35,640
-No. Really?
-Oh, yeah.

271
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,480
-What for?
-For war crimes.

272
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:40,760
No. For being actually too fit.

273
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,360
Too fit for the streets.

274
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:44,720
-Cool.
-You're a danger.

275
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:45,960
Can I speak to my lawyer?

276
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:46,960
Um...

277
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,880
Oh. No, you can't, actually.

278
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,760
No, because he's actually got a day off,
thank you, for personal reasons.

279
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,000
Oh, what personal reasons?

280
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,200
'Cause his kid's got ALS.

281
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,520
-No!
-No.

282
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:57,880
George, we need to talk, I think.

283
00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,320
No, sorry, my name isn't George, Mae.

284
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:03,200
-What is your name?
-My name is Detective Parks.

285
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,160
-Detective Rosa Parks.
-No.

286
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:09,400
Oh, my God, Mae.
I spent £300 on this uniform.

287
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,320
And look.

288
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,440
I mean...

289
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,320
-It's too big.
-But...

290
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,360
Look, I just think
I really need you to, like,

291
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,560
just be my girlfriend.

292
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,200
Oh, I am your girlfriend.

293
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,560
Yeah, you are
when we're alone in this apartment,

294
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,560
but I don't want to just exist
in this apartment

295
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:28,440
and it feels like you want
to keep me here, like Rapunzel.

296
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,400
-Fit.
-Not fit. I don't want to be Rapunzel.

297
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,680
I want to meet your friends.

298
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,520
I think I need to meet your friends,
like now.

299
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:35,880
I know, I just...

300
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,120
It's just scary. I'm scared.

301
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,400
I know, but I think it's why I can't come.

302
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:43,400
'Cause I don't feel safe,

303
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:44,720
and now this.

304
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,320
-This is not helping, to be honest.
-I know, it's barbaric.

305
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,840
Okay, Binky's having a party tonight
and I wasn't gonna go,

306
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,840
but, like, maybe we should just go.

307
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,400
-Yes! Really?
-Yeah.

308
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,640
-Oh, man! Thank you.
-Yeah. Okay.

309
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,760
-Yeah? Oh, great!
-Yeah. Great.

310
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:02,720
Okay.

311
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,520
Great. Great.

312
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,600
Yeah. Fuck.

313
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:10,000
George, why are you so nervous?

314
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,480
They're gonna be so happy for you
when they see you're in love.

315
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,840
You don't know these people, Mae.
They find emotions disgusting.

316
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,320
They just want to have
a good time and make jokes.

317
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,480
Oh, so they're British?

318
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,520
Like, why even bother
with these people?

319
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,880
[George] This is exactly why
I barely ever see them anymore,

320
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,480
but they're like my oldest friends.

321
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:26,880
I mean, Binky's basically family.

322
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,480
-[laughing]
-Why are you laughing?

323
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:31,840
Because I can't believe
you know somebody called Binky.

324
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,760
Wait. I need to tell you something
and just don't be angry.

325
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:36,520
Okay.

326
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,840
They think I have a boyfriend
called Jonathan Crenshaw.

327
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,160
I thought you told them
about me weeks ago.

328
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,440
Okay, it's not my fault.

329
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,640
I told them I was seeing someone
and they just assumed.

330
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,280
They just assumed
his name is Jonathan Crenshaw?

331
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,320
Look, let's make a deal, okay?

332
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,240
If you promise
to just keep it together tonight,

333
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,000
then I will tell someone
that we're fucking.

334
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,120
Oh, wow. Cool deal.

335
00:13:58,600 --> 00:13:59,920
-[women] Hi!
-[George] Hi!

336
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,720
-[woman] George!
-[George] Oh, hi. It's been ages.

337
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,320
[upbeat music playing]

338
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,320
Yay! Oh!

339
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,760
Where's Jonathan Crenshaw? Who's this?

340
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:12,040
He couldn't make it.
He got stung by ants, by red ants.

341
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:13,920
But this is my friend Mae.

342
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,160
We saw her do comedy once?

343
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,800
Oh, my God. Hi, Mae.
I'm Binky, or Binks, whichever.

344
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,840
Your hair is so funny.

345
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,040
Oh, thank you.
Your hair is also hilarious.

346
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,320
Oh, my God. My cousin
Cynthia's here. She's a lesbian.

347
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:25,560
You'd love her.

348
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,400
-Are you dating anyone?
-I am seeing someone,

349
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:29,880
but she's kind of an asshole,
so I don't think it's gonna last.

350
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,200
Oh, so cute. What is she called?

351
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,640
Hoggy. Hoggy Dunlop.

352
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,200
-What?
-Yes.

353
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,000
Hoggy Dunlop weirdly is her name.

354
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,280
It's funny, actually I met her
through Jonathan Crenshaw.

355
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,280
Well, that's mad.
How do they know each other?

356
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,160
-They--
-They're mother and son.

357
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:50,880
What?

358
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:52,520
Yes.

359
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,320
I'm dating George's boyfriend's mother.

360
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,800
Well, he's not really my boyfriend.

361
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,400
Well, exactly, he's not even here, George.
Now come talk to Jared.

362
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,280
Oh, Cynthia, come talk to Mae.

363
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,840
Um, you two can talk about... blazers.

364
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,320
-I think Mae fancies me.
-Really?

365
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,120
-Hey.
-Hey.

366
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,400
-Okay, bye.
-See ya.

367
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,800
[upbeat music continues playing]

368
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:18,720
Hey.

369
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,320
Hey.

370
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,520
Hey, how's it going? I'm Mae.

371
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,360
Hey, I'm Hugh. I would shake your hand,

372
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,480
but I'm chock-a-block
making me old man a dick sandwich,

373
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,160
and I'm fresh out of dick.

374
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,240
[speaking gibberish]

375
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:41,280
[men laughing]

376
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,920
Okay. I'm from Canada,
so I don't understand.

377
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:44,880
Oh.

378
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,240
Gandalf.

379
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,760
[laughing]

380
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,320
Oh, sorry.

381
00:15:56,400 --> 00:16:02,640
[high-pitched feedback ringing]

382
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,280
[music continues playing]

383
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:08,640
[man] I was just saying to Hugh,

384
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:12,400
I'd rather not leave my Doritos
in the kitchen with all the riffraff.

385
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,040
-[man laughing]
-Yeah.

386
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,080
[man] You know,
I'd rather keep them with me here,

387
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,880
safe in my chino trousers.

388
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,880
-Binks.
-Yeah.

389
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:20,920
[George] Um...

390
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,120
Okay, I think I'm gonna
end things with Crenshaw.

391
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,600
Oh, no, babe. Why?

392
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:30,640
I think I'm gonna break up with him
and it's not like a big deal,

393
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,440
but I should tell you--

394
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,440
I've really wanted to tell you.

395
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,720
Oh, my God.
Why is your friend staring at you?

396
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,200
She's like obsessed with you.

397
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,400
[man] Binks! Watch me bum, Jared.

398
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:45,120
-[men cackling]
-[moaning loudly]

399
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,840
-Did you tell them yet?
-Yes, I'm doing it my way,

400
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,560
but your eyes are like lasers.

401
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,720
Like, the back of my neck is actually hot,
like you're burning me with lasers.

402
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,680
Just take the pressure off me
for one second.

403
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,760
Just be confident.

404
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,320
Why don't you dance?

405
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,200
There's nothing less attractive
than someone that's too neurotic to dance

406
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:06,760
at a party and just sat in the corner.

407
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,880
Can I ask you something?
Did you ever have braces?

408
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:09,880
-What?
-Or acne?

409
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:13,600
-Did you have acne when you were a teen?
-Can you keep it-- Can you just calm down?

410
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,920
You grew up rich and white
and straight and hot.

411
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,160
You won the lottery.

412
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,440
So of course you want to dance,

413
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,440
you're surrounded by people
that want to fuck you.

414
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,520
Of course, I don't want
to dance in front of people

415
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,560
that would have bullied me in high school
and you're too ashamed to touch me.

416
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,560
If you want me to feel confident
then hold my hand.

417
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,360
You two are always having, like,
the most intense whisper conversations.

418
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,040
What is going on here?

419
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,120
-Are you two a thing? No offense.
-[laughing]

420
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,920
[Binky] No, don't be a dick. Stop it.

421
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,200
But, seriously,
is there something going on?

422
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,320
No, obviously not. What?

423
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,040
[voice breaking] I'm gonna go.

424
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,320
Yeah, I'm gonna go?

425
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,520
Yeah, if you want. [chuckles]

426
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:58,720
[laughs]

427
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:01,880
Babe, if you want to talk to me
about something...

428
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,960
No, it's fine. Can I just have...

429
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:10,320
[knocks]

430
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:19,160
-Hey. I've just had--
-Thank you, darling!

431
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,400
Thank you!

432
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:21,840
-What for?
-Oh!

433
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,560
It's wonderful!

434
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,600
-It's... it's magnificent.
-What is?

435
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:27,680
[door closes]

436
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,840
-Look.
-[Laura] Hello.

437
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,920
Oh, my God. You came.

438
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,120
-Yeah, Lava and I have been talking.
-Laura.

439
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,960
Laura, sorry, darling. Laura, yeah.

440
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:40,040
Just catching up,
low-key, no pressure, just chatting.

441
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,160
And Lava said-- Laura. Sorry, darling.

442
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,440
Laura said she came to see you.

443
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,880
Yeah, she came to my gig.

444
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,520
I did. She's funny.

445
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:47,680
Thank you.

446
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,000
[weeping] Oh, God. Sorry, ignore me.

447
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,400
I've probably got crooked glands.

448
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,320
Well, how are you?

449
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,680
I'm good. Yeah, I'm good.

450
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,080
Um, but can I hang out
with you guys tonight?

451
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,840
Of course, darling! Well...

452
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:08,320
[whispers] We will have a slumber party.

453
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,400
-[upbeat music playing]
-[guests chattering]

454
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,920
-I like you a lot.
-Fuck off, you fucking rat.

455
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:24,840
Do me!

456
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,120
I wanna do it, lift me!

457
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,720
George!

458
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,320
[George] Whoa!

459
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,560
[all] Whoa! Whoa!

460
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,840
-Hey!
-[crashing, shattering]

461
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,360
[woman shrieks]

462
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,000
[gasps]

463
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:40,680
[screaming]

464
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:45,840
[all screaming]

465
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,400
Somebody save her!

466
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,880
[all screaming, shouting]

467
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,640
Oh, my God. Georgie, babe, are you okay?

468
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,480
God, this place is disgusting!

469
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,400
-Is it bad?
-It's fucking awful, babe!

470
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,240
Look, you're covered
in fucking blood, George!

471
00:19:58,320 --> 00:19:59,240
Can you call Mae?

472
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,960
-Who?
-The girl who looks like corn.

473
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,760
She's in my phone under "Corn."

474
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,280
Call Corn!

475
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,440
Oh, look. This is you in Corfu.

476
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:11,000
-Oh, my God. You look like Ronald Reagan.
-[laughs] Yeah!

477
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,280
She refused to wear a dress,
no matter how hard I tried.

478
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,440
That's 'cause I knew I was gay
when I was, like, three.

479
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,520
Yes, you did, sweetheart.

480
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,160
Ah, this is such fun,
I'm having an absolute blast.

481
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,240
Who wants a drink? Gin!

482
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,640
Gin! Gin for the girls.

483
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,200
Or tea.

484
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,880
Just a tea. How about that?

485
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,560
We're the girls who tea!

486
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,520
-[laughs]
-Thanks, Mum.

487
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,520
[chuckles]

488
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:36,400
How's your girlfriend?

489
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,400
Ah...

490
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,560
You still haven't come.

491
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,160
I mean, that's not really the issue.

492
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,560
Maggie told me about her.

493
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:45,960
-[Mae] Oh, really?
-George.

494
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,200
Yes.

495
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,520
You know, I've dated
many, many girls like George.

496
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,720
She's straight
and she's wasting your time.

497
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,600
You should be with someone
that knows what they're doing.

498
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,040
Yeah, I don't mean about sex.

499
00:20:57,120 --> 00:21:00,240
Just don't let her shame rub off on you.
It'll give you bad posture.

500
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:03,840
Yeah.

501
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,200
I-- I don't want to go home.

502
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,120
So don't.

503
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,040
[phone ringing]

504
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:20,280
-Hello.
-[Binky] Hello? Hi, is this Corn?

505
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:23,240
-No, this is-- Yeah, this is Corn. Yeah.
-[Binky] Hi.

506
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,480
It's George.
She fell through a glass table.

507
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,480
There's blood everywhere.
It's fucking disgusting!

508
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,560
-What?
-You need to come to the hospital now.

509
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,600
-Is everything okay?
-Oh, my God. Okay.

510
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:44,680
Hi.

511
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:46,360
Sorry, who are you?

512
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:47,440
Um...

513
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,880
-A friend of George's.
-She's dating George's boyfriend's mum.

514
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,720
[Mae] Is she gonna be okay?

515
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,520
-We've given her morphine, so...
-Hello?

516
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:57,440
[George gasps]

517
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,320
Baby, you came!

518
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,640
-[mouthing]
-[George] You came to see me.

519
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,040
Please come here.

520
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:04,880
Oh.

521
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,160
I love you.

522
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,720
-I'm so sorry.
-[Mae] It's okay.

523
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,040
-[George] No, it's not okay.
-[mouthing]

524
00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:15,200
Oh, I'm a fucking idiot.

525
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:17,120
I love you.

526
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:18,840
I want to make you come.

527
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,080
Whoa, okay! [laughing]

528
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,480
Um, can you open my bag?

529
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,040
Doctor, please, can you pass my bag?

530
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:28,120
-Oh, of course.
-Thank you.

531
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,560
-Look.
-[Mae] Oh, my God.

532
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,960
-[Binky laughing]
-I don't think that's...

533
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,400
I'm gonna fuck my girlfriend
with a strap-on, Doctor.

534
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,360
I'll just get a nurse.

535
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,400
[George] Yeah.

536
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:40,800
-[Mae] No.
-Oh.

537
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,160
[Mae] Yeah.

538
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,560
I'm such a stupid idiot. I'm so sorry.

539
00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:48,480
Oh, my God.

540
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,960
You are so beautiful. Your eyes!

541
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,320
Oh, my God.

542
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,960
[all murmuring]

543
00:22:59,040 --> 00:22:59,920
[Binky] Okay.

544
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,800
[George moaning]

545
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:05,440
Come on!

546
00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:26,360
[high-pitched feedback ringing]

547
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:34,160
[ringing stops]