[suspenseful music playing]
[Principal Grubbs] Devi, I think you know why we're here.
Because of that terrible rumor about Aneesa that you…
[McEnroe] Oh shit! Here it comes! Devi's about to get it.
…no doubt have heard about.
Now, Aneesa says you and her are friends,
and she could use a little support right now.
Wait, so I'm here because of how good of a friend I am?
Yeah, that makes total sense.
Aneesa, we want you to stay here at Sherman Oaks High,
so, Devi, can you help her feel like the people have her back?
Of course, I just wish we could find the jerkwad who started the rumor.
It's okay. I'll just lay low and wait
until somebody finds a pregnancy test in the toilet
and everybody forgets about me.
You know what? No!
-Devi's right! -I am?
This might be the moment that I can be the principal I've dreamed I could be.
I'm gonna call everybody that was at that relay
until I get somebody talking.
[McEnroe] Devi knew that all roads in the investigation
would lead back to her.
So right now, she needed to throw down some metaphorical tire spikes.
You know what? A student should lead the investigation.
Teens don't wanna narc to a boomer.
I take offense to that. I am firmly in Gen X.
Hmm.
But I do see your point,
and I do have a very busy day, especially trying to figure out
why the water fountains smell like human excrement.
Okay.
Job's yours.
[McEnroe] Now all Devi had to do was sabotage the search,
and she'd be off the hook quicker than you can say "witness tampering."
[upbeat music playing]
[McEnroe] Devi told herself that Aneesa didn't need to know the truth.
It would only hurt her.
And right now, she needed a friend,
which is what Devi planned to be
once she pinned this rumor on someone else.
-So, should we start the investigation? -Uh, one sec. I'm just texting with Ben.
[McEnroe] But also, let's not forget this chick hooked up with Devi's ex
the first chance she got.
Nope, Devi, you never told Aneesa that Ben was your ex.
So it's not her fault.
Sisterhood, Traveling Pants, et cetera, et cetera.
Okay, all done.
He's been really supportive through all this.
I'm sure he has.
The person who started the rumor must've known it was true.
So they had to be from your old school. Who do we know transferred from there?
-Just me. -Is there anyone else you can think of
that has a connection there? Anyone at all?
Mm… Oh, I know a girl who has a cousin on the football team here.
Look at you coming up with fresh leads. To the boys' locker room!
Okay.
[Devi] So, Darius,
did you start the rumor about Aneesa being anorexic?
Who's Aneesa?
Uh, I am.
You're anorexic? Sorry to hear that.
Save your little performance, Darius. I know that you did it.
[scoffs]
No offense, but why would I start a rumor about some random-ass sophomore?
And for the record, I may be a football player,
but I'm also a feminist,
and I would never start a rumor that misogynistic.
-[school bell rings] -Okay, cool POV, Darius.
[Darius] Yo, let's get out of here.
[Devi] So maybe he's not our guy.
[sighs]
What up, playas? Listen up.
Your boy crushed the first draft of our paper,
and I'm sending it to all my co-authors tonight
to get your final approvesies, and once everybody signs off,
this little baby is gonna be published in the Journal of Cellular Biology!
Ho, ho, ho!
You're gonna be in the journal, and you're gonna be in the journal!
-[Setseg] Yeah! -Kamala, can I chat with you for a second?
Look, I just want to say you've been a huge asset to the lab,
and sorry if I was tough on you in the beginning.
It's okay. I've seen American teen movies. I understand hazing.
Anyway, I think you've earned a little face time with Dr. Peters.
Only if you want.
Um, does a peroxisome obtain membrane constituents
from the endoplasmic reticulum?
Hmm, let me think. You know, it does! Get it!
[laughs] Nice! How about breakfast tomorrow?
Most important meal of the day! Perfect.
Perfect. All right. Now, who wants to pop some bottles 'cause…
[indistinct chatter]
-Let's see. -Yo, Eve!
You should've came to queer ladies' night at The Library. It was lit.
Wait, the school library has a queer ladies' night?
No, no, babe. The Library is a bar in Silver Lake.
You went to a bar? Like an alcohol bar for adults?
Yes. Fabiola, don't look so shocked.
But isn't that like illegal?
You know what else used to be illegal? Being a lesbian.
And some laws are worth breaking to support the community, you know?
Yeah, we can't all just spend every night hanging out with our robots.
Sasha, come on! That was mean!
I was joking. She knows I was joking.
Yeah, of course! [laughs]
It was so funny. It was good.
Um, but, uh, I…
gotta run, so I will see you later.
[Sasha] Later!
Trust me. Just think of the possible people.
Hi, so what are you guys up to?
Devi's helping me track down the D-bag who started the rumor about me.
Ooh! True crime? Count me in.
I think I've got it under control. I don't need anybody else's help on the case.
-Who've you questioned already? -Just Darius Carter.
Why would you interrogate him? He wasn't even at the relay on Saturday.
That's when he volunteers at Planned Parenthood.
Yeah, I'm learning a lot about Darius.
I'd start with who told Aneesa and work backwards.
That's what I said.
All right, babe. I gotta dip.
I got that commercial audition for that traffic safety PSA.
[Eleanor] You're definitely gonna get it.
No one could do the part
of "teen refusing to wear seat belt" better than you.
-[chuckles] -[Eleanor] Mm.
Later, babe.
Well, well, well, you and Malcolm!
Oh! Isn't he dreamy?
I can't believe I get to date an out-of-work actor!
-[breathes deeply] -What are you talking about?
Trying to figure out who made up the rumor about Aneesa.
So you're starting with the person who told Aneesa and working backwards?
Yup. So, Aneesa, who's the first person that told you about the rumor?
Um, I don't know his name, but he was drinking a large iced cappuccino
and complimented my Cara Delevingne brows.
Jonah! That's where we'll start!
Oh. So you'll be joining in on this too?
Oh my gosh. I love this. This is my whole life now.
Great.
[woman] Oh, hi, Dr. Jackson! Love the beard!
[Dr. Jackson] Hi.
Dr. Jackson, what an unexpected displeasure.
Oh, it's like that, huh?
I'm only here because your patients keep parking in my office's reserved spots.
First of all, how do you know those cars were for my office?
They could be from that weird hair-transplant clinic.
No, it's definitely our office.
I tell people to park there because I'm embarrassed
our spots are next to the dumpster where the raccoon family lives.
Sorry, Dr. Jackson. It won't happen again.
-Thank you. -[Nalini] Thank you.
What's with the getup?
You look very nice.
Uh, well, if you must know, I am going to Dr. Morales's retirement party.
Uh, she's the head of Derm at UCLA where she was my mentor.
You know what?
She probably runs in more academic circles than you're used to.
[Dr. Jackson] Right. Okay.
Well, you just keep your cars parked in your own gross spots.
It's so exciting solving a mystery.
I feel like the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,
but without the severe bangs.
Ooh. Hey, look, there's Jonah!
[Paxton] Lil' D.
I need your help. My bio test is today, and I never looked over my flash cards
because I was blitzed at the relay.
-You didn't look over them on Sunday? -Well, I was kind of hungover,
and then a game was on, and Trent came over,
and we got blitzed again.
Look, it doesn't matter. You said you'd help me at the relay
and never showed up, so you gotta help me now.
I'm kind of in the middle of something. Could I find you at lunch?
You better come 'cause I can't learn this crap without you.
Okay, yeah.
[Devi] So, Jonah,
Aneesa said you told her about the rumor.
Yeah, because I'm not fake,
and people need to know what other people are saying about them.
There's a rumor you were born with one hoof.
I started it, but you deserve to know.
See? Aren't you glad I told you?
[sighs] Yes, Jonah. Thank you for your honesty.
All right. Let's get back to Aneesa. You remember who you heard the rumor from?
I keep a log for networking and blackmailing purposes
in case anyone ever tries to bring the drama to me.
It was Eddie Tan.
[McEnroe] Fabiola and Eleanor were thrilled they had a hot lead.
Devi not so much.
They found Eddie outside of pre-calc,
and he told them he heard the rumor from supercouple Drewzanna,
whom they found making out in the bleachers.
They said they overheard it from Sweaty Tara,
who was housing a Sloppy Joe in the cafeteria.
[munching]
She directed them to Mean Denise in the weight room…
[grunts]
…who sent them to Asthmatic Dave at the nurse's office…
[wheezing]
…who blamed Show Choir Dustin in the theater…
♪ Me, me, me ♪
…who then sent our detectives
to the familiar face of Trent in Spanish class.
I dunno who told me.
I just remember I was sticking Marcus's toothbrush
between my butt cheeks as a prank.
Anyway, while I had his toothbrush between my butt cheeks,
someone came over and was like, "Aneesa's anorexic. Isn't that hilare?"
Oh no! Looks like we're at the deadest of dead ends!
I'll tell Principal Grubbs that the investigation's a bust.
Wait. No, they said "hilare."
[gasps] I think we can tell Principal Grubbs
that we have our culprits!
Girls, I'm not gonna say I think you're better than this because well…
-Obvious reasons for sure. -[phone chimes]
[Principal Grubbs] Starting a vicious rumor about a classmate is unconscionable.
[Shira] We've gotten away with so many worse rumors.
[Zoe] But we didn't start it, I don't think.
[Shira] Does it sound like something we would say? Yes.
But did we say it? Maybe.
Both of you have detention for a month. You're off the dance committee.
What? No!
[exhales]
[inhales sharply] Then you can say goodbye
to my dad's car dealership buying a full-page ad in the yearbook.
[chuckles] That check is cleared, and it's nonrefundable.
Have a great day, ladies.
[McEnroe] For the first time, Devi was thankful
that she was so forgettable to these girls.
And it's not like innocent people were taking the fall.
Shira and Zoe had blabbed the rumor to half the school.
So the horrible pit in Devi's stomach
was probably just the feeling of a job well done.
Right? Right?
[somber music playing]
Ah, hello, kanna, perfect timing.
I've just returned from shopping.
Did you pick up any sodas? My friends are coming over tonight.
She didn't go to the grocery store. She shopped locally.
-She picked the neighbor's fruit trees. -What? Pati, you can't do that.
Why? Do you think the two men who live next door need all these oranges?
I saw one of them order a tray of nachos at 10:00 a.m.
But it's stealing. Americans are weird about their fruit trees,
and defending their property in general.
It's true. Everyone here has a gun and a juicer.
No one will catch me.
And if they do, I'll pretend I have dementia and babble in Tamil.
It doesn't matter if you don't get caught. It's wrong.
[McEnroe] Uh-oh, someone's having an epiphany.
Oh, Devi, you are your father's daughter.
Such a good head and such broad shoulders.
[phone vibrating]
Hi, Setseg. Oh, sorry I haven't responded to your Evite about laser tag yet.
Uh, yes, please do.
That's not even why I was calling.
Evan just sent the paper to all the co-authors.
Ooh! Great!
I'll check my email right now!
I haven't gotten it yet.
But my computer is full of viruses from my grandmother pirating Indian Idol.
No, Kamala. You didn't get it because you're not listed as a co-author.
What? How is that possible?
I made the discovery that the whole paper was based on.
I know. Evan would kill me if he knew I was calling you.
But it has to be a mistake. I'll get to the bottom of it.
Speaking of bottom,
do you have your own laser pants or will you be renting?
I'll need to rent them and any laser tag equipment.
Assume I'm bringing nothing.
[sighs]
[indistinct chatter]
[chuckling] Nalini!
-I cannot believe you're retiring. No. -Oh, I know.
I know, but it's time.
Oh, I am dying for you to meet my other favorite mentee,
Dr. Chris Jackson.
Hello, Dr. Vishwakumar.
Hello, Dr. Jackson.
You two know each other?
Sure, we do. What a surprise to see you here.
Yes. I bet you're surprised to see me in such an academic circle.
[sighs]
The one and only thing I agree with my boring dad and snooze-fest Sharon
is that cheesy bread paired with Diet Coke has its own taste personality.
-Mm-hmm. -[laughs]
Oh shit. I'm sorry. Am I talking about food too much?
Oh. [scoffs]
It's fine. I guess, uh, we should talk about what's going on in my cuckoo brain.
You don't have to tell us.
[sighing] Nah. I do, but feel free to feel awkward.
[sighing] Okay, so last year I kinda fell in with the cool girls,
and, uh, luckily for me, I wasn't just the only brown girl in the group.
I was also the Muslim brown girl
whose mom insisted she wear a full sweat suit to every pool party.
So literally the only thing those girls ever complimented me on was being skinny.
And then something inside my brain made me feel like
I couldn't be skinny enough,
and I just couldn't stop.
So I had to go to a special hospital.
But I want you guys to know
that I'm in a program, and I'm doing much better,
and I'm so glad I met you guys.
Especially you, Devi.
[sighs]
To have an Indian friend who gets me
and would never treat me like I don't belong is probably the--
It was me.
What was you?
I started the rumor.
What?
I started the rumor.
I'm the one who told Shira and Zoe, but I didn't even know it was true.
I was just mad that you hooked up with Ben, and I used to date him.
So I freaked out, and I'm really, really, really sorry, Aneesa.
Uh…
I'm gonna go.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[chuckles] At least I came clean. That should count for something, right?
Eleanor, I think we should go too.
[somber music playing]
[door opens]
[door closes]
[laughing]
Nalini, did you know that Chris uses all of the proceeds from his cosmetic line
to fund pro-bono surgeries at the Children's Hospital? Mm-hmm.
Isn't that impressive?
-Uh, yes, very impressive. -[Dr. Morales] Mm-hmm.
And he's raising a son on his own.
-Pretty remarkable. -Thank you.
-You're a father? -[Dr. Morales] Mm-hmm.
And, Chris, Nalini is no slouch either.
She was the first person ever
to win the Bevins Surgical Award as a resident.
Wait, that was you?
I remember hearing about that and being super jealous.
Oh, I could brag about you both all night, but my husband has had too much to drink.
-[man] Check. Hello. -A little too much champagne,
and he's trying to make a speech, so I better get over there. [laughing]
I didn't know you were such a big shot.
I didn't know you were such a good person. Go figure.
Well, I know we're supposed to be enemies.
Sort of.
But, can I get you a drink?
[woman] Holy cow!
Nalini Vishwakumar?
Oh my God. She was the most annoying person in my residency.
-Hello, Gail. -Hi.
Hey, I heard about Mohan. Just so awful.
So awful, just so awful!
How are you holding up?
-I'm holding up. Thank you. -[Gail] Are you really?
We go way back. Tell me. You don't have to pretend.
I'm fine.
Okay. Well, if you need anything at all,
even if you wanna come over to my house and just cry, I am here for you. Okay?
Thank you, Gail.
Hey, Gail.
-Hey! -Chris Jackson.
Chris! Of course!
We met at that, um,
that conference in Dubuque a couple years ago. Do you remember?
Definitely. Hey, why don't we get a drink? We can catch up.
-Yeah. I'd love that. -[Dr. Jackson] Yeah.
Okay. I'm gonna check on you later.
Can't wait.
[gentle music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
Hi. How are we?
Are we still mad?
We're not mad. We're just disappointed.
Yeah, you really Devi'd this one up.
Are we using Devi as a negative verb?
Yeah, you let your temper get the best of you, man.
This is worse than when you punched that vending machine.
I didn't pay for those Sour Straws to get stuck on the coil.
Okay, fine. Maybe I did Devi this one up, but I feel awful.
I really like Aneesa.
Then you better figure out a way to apologize to her,
like with a singing telegram or a thoughtful selection of bath bombs.
Or what if I just try to explain my side of the story?
Respectfully, I have no faith you can pull that off.
I would go with the bath bombs.
But Aneesa's whole thing is that she's chill and easygoing.
If I just talk to her, she'll understand where I'm coming from.
Trust me, by the end of the day,
to Devi something up will mean to make something better forever.
I don't know.
Fab, the dance committee has set up their table. You ready?
-Yeah, let's go. -Okay.
[upbeat music playing]
Hi, would you like to nominate someone for Cricket King and Queen?
If it's Paxton and Zoe, they've already been nominated like 50 times.
Um, no, not Paxton and Zoe.
We would like to nominate ourselves as Cricket Queens.
Oh. I can't do that.
What? Why?
Because we're two girls?
Does the idea of same-sex dance royalty make you uncomfy?
Would you prefer to be complicit in queer erasure?
Stop yelling at me! I don't have a problem with you being gay.
I can't leave my post now to print out a different form
because Principal Grubbs fired the rest of the dance committee.
Oh, I can just scratch out king and put queen.
Okay.
Thank you. Final voting will take place at the dance,
which, apparently, I have to put on all by myself now.
Hey, you just reamed Carley. That was so dope.
-Y'all running for Cricket Queens? -Yeah, it was all Fabiola's idea.
That's my girl right there. You a baddie, Fab.
Now we just got to make sure y'all win.
[upbeat music playing]
[laughs] Okay.
[music continues]
Good morning, Dr. Jackson.
Good morning, Dr. Vishwakumar. Where are you coming from?
Oh, you know, just my car, which is parked deep in the bowels of hell.
Why would you park down there when you have a spot right here?
Wow. You've been awfully heroic recently.
Uh, how was your, uh… your conversation with Gail?
I can only describe it as long and painful.
You know you didn't have to do that, right?
Well, I haven't gone through anything close to what you've experienced,
but when my wife moved out, everyone wanted to talk to me about it.
[Nalini] Hmm.
And no one seemed to care that I didn't have anything to say.
So last night, I was happy to take one for the team.
-[elevator door opens] -After you.
[phone chimes]
Oh, you know,
I actually have a personal matter to take care of, but thank you.
Uh, thank you for that and… and the spot.
Of course.
Sherman Oaks' second best dermatologist deserves the second best parking space.
You were a decent human being for seven seconds, and I'll take that.
So, Kamala, we have the pleasure of the next 60 minutes together.
How should we start?
Shall I tell you the story of how I became me?
It all began on a goat farm
in the civil parish of Barton-upon-Humber--
Actually, I didn't mean to interrupt you,
but I was hoping I could discuss something with you first.
Well, of course, it's your time.
Evan sent out the first draft of the paper last night,
and my name was left off of it.
Oh, and you feel that you should have been credited?
Yes. I don't know if Evan told you, but I was the one who realized
which cells had the greatest tendency for clonal self-renewal.
Well, that was a fine observation,
but I don't get involved in the politics of the lab.
If Evan left your name off, I'm sure he had a reason.
But I do think that I deserve to be on it.
[sighs] Kamala, do you really want to spend our mentorship hour together
complaining about another co-worker?
Mm.
So let's get back to how a boy raised among goats won a Nobel.
[school bell rings]
[McEnroe] Devi knew she could set everything right again
if she could just talk to Aneesa,
but when she got to chemistry,
she found Aneesa's spot in the lab filled by a very chatty Jonah.
[all laughing]
[McEnroe] The last time Aneesa was missing from this class,
-she ended up being in the-- -[intercom chimes]
[Principal Grubbs] Devi Vishwakumar, please report to the principal's office.
[McEnroe] Kinda walked right into that one.
Awkward!
[tense music playing]
Devi, Aneesa just told me that you're the one who started the rumor.
Yes, and I am so, so sorry.
I'm sorry, too, Devi.
-You're suspended. -What?
I said you're suspended.
But Zoe and Shira just got kicked off the dance committee,
and they told way more people.
Give me a couple extra detentions, and we'll call it even.
This is not a negotiation.
You started a rumor, then you lied to your principal,
and then you let two students take the fall for it.
But a suspension goes on my permanent record!
That could ruin my chance to go to Princeton!
Mom, do something!
[sighs]
I'm sorry, Devi. [sighs]
These are the consequences for your actions.
[solemn music playing]
[sighs]
[indistinct chatter]
Meet me in the car. Just grab your stuff.
Hey, Aneesa. Could I talk to you for a second?
I am so sorry about what happened.
But Principal Grubbs just suspended me. Maybe if you talk to her--
Wow. That's what you care about?
I thought the girls at my last school were selfish. You're on another level.
I'm not trying to be selfish.
I feel terrible about what happened, but you don't understand.
I've wanted to go to Princeton forever. Like, it's my whole thing.
Now my whole thing is being the new girl with an eating disorder.
Just so you know, I never hooked up with Ben.
It's insanely obvious you two have some kind of history.
But I saw you guys go into Trent's tent.
Dude! To hide from you because you were making us run!
Everyone was right.
You are crazy, Devi.
Thanks a lot. Just failed my bio test.
Are you mad at me? That's not my fault.
If you'd studied with me like you said--
Paxton, if you want good grades, then be a good student.
I can't hold your hand forever!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've just been suspended!
[McEnroe] Wow, two fights back-to-back.
Man, she'd royally Devi'd this day up. Original meaning.
["Faster" by Orlean playing]
♪ Stronger than the weight of the world ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ Stronger than the weight of the world ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Tell my mind this ain't gonna last ♪
♪ But all the time it's moving so fast ♪
♪ Oh, faster than the beat of my heart ♪
♪ Ah ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ Ah ♪
[continues vocalizing]
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Faster than the beat of my heart ♪