1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,966 ‎NETFLIX 影集 2 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,180 ‎他是派克斯頓霍爾吉田 3 00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:17,058 ‎今年16歲,住在加州雪曼橡樹區 4 00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,270 ‎我是模特兒、設計師、社運人士 5 00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:23,398 ‎以及曾經16歲的加州女生吉吉哈蒂徳 6 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,280 ‎你可能會想 7 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,824 ‎老吉吉平日那麼忙,幹嘛花時間 8 00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:34,659 ‎口述一個16歲男生的故事? 9 00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:37,871 ‎信不信由你,因為我感同身受 10 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:42,042 ‎我們都經常被人瞧不起 ‎因為大家只把我們當成性感象徵 11 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,169 ‎(-派克斯頓你還好吧? ‎-我好擔心你) 12 00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,796 ‎(-你被車撞時,我…回訊息給我 ‎-有需要的話找我) 13 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,841 ‎如果科學家說妳有完美對稱的一張臉 14 00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:52,510 ‎大家會覺得妳也只有這點貢獻 15 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:56,056 ‎可是我們也有腦袋啊,還有感情和… 16 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:59,225 ‎派克斯頓,拜託你穿件衣服! ‎這樣叫我怎麼講道理? 17 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:03,313 ‎反正我們也是很有內在美的 18 00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:07,150 ‎至少我是這樣啦 ‎至於派克斯頓,我們就看下去吧 19 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:14,115 ‎劇名:……打開課本 20 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,037 ‎兄弟,我的手,你幹嘛? 21 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,372 ‎我只是想知道你是不是裝的 22 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:23,583 ‎哇,你好像真的很痛,兄弟 23 00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,878 ‎對,他好像“真的很痛,兄弟” 24 00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:27,962 ‎但他不只手痛 25 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,548 ‎而且都是這女人的錯 26 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:34,094 ‎自從迪薇和派克斯頓在一起後 27 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:37,138 ‎她就只會帶來混亂局面而已 28 00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:41,935 ‎派克斯頓,我真的很對不起 29 00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:44,771 ‎看到你傷成這樣的感覺好怪 30 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:46,356 ‎我還是比你帥 31 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,024 ‎我的外表充滿生氣 32 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,151 ‎很多人都覺得討喜有魅力 33 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,529 ‎派克斯頓不是很會吃醋 34 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:55,365 ‎但他喜歡的女生中,最怪的就是迪薇 35 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,700 ‎結果她還跟班葛羅斯劈腿 36 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,035 ‎真的讓他心浮氣躁 37 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,872 ‎我是說,班葛羅斯?有沒有搞錯? 38 00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:12,340 ‎小班到底比派克斯頓好在哪裡? 39 00:02:12,423 --> 00:02:13,967 ‎除了他有電影放映室和… 40 00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:18,263 ‎喂,那是百達翡麗名錶嗎? ‎可惡,我連一支都沒有 41 00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,515 ‎我有個不好的消息 42 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,184 ‎因為有力人士的緣故 43 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:26,354 ‎使得我不能再用測驗 44 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:29,023 ‎評估各位對歷史的感受 45 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:32,110 ‎他們顯然覺得更重要的課題 46 00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:35,029 ‎在於讓學生瞭解年代 47 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:38,908 ‎事件,還有已故白人的名字 48 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,661 ‎所以是考選擇題還是… 49 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,831 ‎哼,選擇題,妳最喜歡選擇了吧? 50 00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:47,167 ‎我們可以選兩個答案嗎? 51 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,918 ‎還是只能堅持一個? 52 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:53,298 ‎有意思,小班,我絕對支持複選題 53 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:56,134 ‎不行,應該只有一個答案 54 00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:59,179 ‎迪薇應該知道答案是哪個 55 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,475 ‎(你們必須爭取 ‎沒有白人特權的權利) 56 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,477 ‎你竟然被書呆子耍了 57 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:10,481 ‎難道你沒以前帥了? ‎我現在變成這群人裡最帥的嗎? 58 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:15,195 ‎對,土狼妹竟然偷吃那個 ‎像《少年謝爾頓》的小子 59 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,323 ‎現在你全身石膏味,優勢全沒了 60 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:20,950 ‎閉嘴,白爛,我還是很紅的 61 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:22,827 ‎誰想在我的石膏上簽名? 62 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:23,953 ‎我要 63 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,914 ‎派克斯頓不缺女粉絲 64 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:29,584 ‎據說他在夏令營 ‎跟辛蒂克勞馥的女兒交往 65 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:30,877 ‎那時他才十歲 66 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:36,466 ‎看吧,我只犯了一個錯 ‎就是被瘋女迪薇牽扯到她的小宇宙 67 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:41,137 ‎“瘋女迪薇”?天啊 ‎這句話真妙,她真的是瘋子 68 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,389 ‎還記得她掉進那個人的游泳池嗎? 69 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,351 ‎那個人?妳是說妳的前男友小班? 70 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:48,478 ‎哦,對耶!我都忘了他了! 71 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,648 ‎“瘋女迪薇”,太好笑了 72 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,524 ‎還記得她辦那個怪轟趴嗎? 73 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,193 ‎還有人從屋頂摔下來? 74 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,153 ‎那是我啦 75 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,282 ‎派克斯頓是游泳金牌 ‎從沒擔心過大學的事 76 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,952 ‎已經有好幾間名校搶著要他 77 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,745 ‎像史丹佛和加州大學洛城分校 78 00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:06,829 ‎所以他不知道 79 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,790 ‎升學輔導老師為何突然找他 80 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:12,210 ‎派克斯頓,你好,謝謝你跑一趟 81 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:15,171 ‎不客氣,我根本不知道有這間辦公室 82 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,966 ‎我直說吧,我今天早上找過你的教練 83 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:20,635 ‎因為你的傷勢嚴重 84 00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:24,514 ‎所以可能沒辦法幫史丹佛大學游泳了 85 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,475 ‎就算沒辦法在史丹佛大學游泳 86 00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:29,143 ‎我還是願意去念 87 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,895 ‎帥哥啊… 88 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,690 ‎我們可以多考慮其他學校 89 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:37,235 ‎你的優勢在於大學運動員分數 90 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:42,615 ‎但是把運動員的部分扣掉後 ‎你的選擇就會變少 91 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,617 ‎等一下,那我可以念哪裡? 92 00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:48,454 ‎什麼學校都可以,只要靠近海灘 93 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,124 ‎有好的籃球隊,課業又不太難 94 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,835 ‎但還是要有好學生願意念 95 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,879 ‎好,我看看 96 00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:00,216 ‎首先,你的父母超級有錢嗎? 97 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:01,634 ‎沒有 98 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:02,677 ‎好吧 99 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:07,015 ‎那麼申請二專或社區大學比較安全 100 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,143 ‎我們可以提高標準 101 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:14,188 ‎但是你的學業成績必須大幅進步 102 00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:16,607 ‎你願意請家教嗎? 103 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:20,153 ‎-可以啊 ‎-很好! 104 00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:22,071 ‎我已經擅自幫你安排了 105 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,241 ‎全校最好的學生家教 106 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,244 ‎這個女生的成績超好 107 00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:34,709 ‎對不起,她沒說是你 108 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,377 ‎你們認識? 109 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:38,880 ‎糟糕,我猜猜看 110 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,633 ‎她是你跟朋友打賭的對象吧? 111 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:44,719 ‎什麼?不是 112 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,722 ‎我寧願沒念大學也不跟她學 113 00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,481 ‎嘿,你怎麼這麼早回家? 114 00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:59,859 ‎對喔,你不能游泳了,尼莫 115 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,487 ‎對,我不能游泳了 116 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:07,950 ‎等一下,我不在家時 ‎你會常跑過來嗎? 117 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:13,122 ‎對,我覺得這裡很適合靜下來思考 ‎也可以看A片 118 00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:14,999 ‎我不想知道 119 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,502 ‎怎麼了?你心情很差 120 00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:22,006 ‎華納老師說如果不游泳 ‎我上大學的機率就不高 121 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,092 ‎上大學幹嘛? 122 00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,469 ‎我高中畢業後要直接當網紅 123 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:30,765 ‎聽好,我要拍自己對反應影片的反應 124 00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,600 ‎遜斃了 125 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:34,560 ‎-不錯喔 ‎-我知道,對吧? 126 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,313 ‎派克斯頓,你還好吧? 127 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,149 ‎還好,我很好 128 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:44,278 ‎我只是不知道自己該怎麼辦 129 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,447 ‎我告訴你,你跟著我 130 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:49,367 ‎既然你有空,那我們就每天玩 131 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,539 ‎想炸點東西嗎? 132 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,207 ‎靠,好啊 133 00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:00,169 ‎好耶! 134 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,178 ‎席拉,妳看螢幕就會懂 135 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:13,433 ‎好耶!我就說吧… 136 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,351 ‎我按A和左搖桿 137 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,312 ‎妳不能按A啦,妳這樣不對 138 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,856 ‎妳沒有動左搖桿 139 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,443 ‎哇,大哥,那個反應好怪 140 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,820 ‎(你不會相信我對這些反應的反應) 141 00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:27,447 ‎哇,那個反應很讚 142 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:28,948 ‎太猛了! 143 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:30,950 ‎大哥,這個反應很驚人 144 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,288 ‎他走了 145 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:39,250 ‎很棒,描述得很清楚,兄弟 146 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:44,714 ‎你對我對他們的反應的反應 ‎讓我太快樂了,兄弟 147 00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:50,511 ‎我這個禮拜超開心的 148 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:53,681 ‎你知道下個禮拜要幹嘛嗎?一模一樣 149 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,851 ‎我們要過一輩子這種生活 150 00:07:58,394 --> 00:07:59,937 ‎一輩子 151 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,195 ‎我需要妳 152 00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:09,447 ‎幫我上大學 153 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,828 ‎好,氣氛不必太僵,我們可以當學伴 154 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,956 ‎你要喝汽水、開水還是熱茶嗎? 155 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,293 ‎好… 156 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:24,962 ‎我口乾時的唸書效果也比較好 157 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:29,592 ‎哇,這本書還沒打開過 158 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:34,138 ‎所以要從哪一科開始?數學? 159 00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:36,140 ‎妳是說妳要從哪科開始? 160 00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:40,937 ‎我說我需要妳幫忙時 ‎我是要妳幫我做功課 161 00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:44,065 ‎等妳幫我寫完英文作文後,可以… 162 00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:47,443 ‎什麼?不行,這樣算騙人 163 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,862 ‎好啊,那妳應該很在行吧? 164 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,282 ‎-派克斯頓,你聽我解釋 ‎-解釋什麼? 165 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:56,202 ‎解釋妳怎麼覺得劈腿不會被發現? 166 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,247 ‎妳一定覺得我是大白痴 167 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,790 ‎我沒有覺得你是白痴 168 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,501 ‎我很喜歡妳,我以為我們是… 169 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:05,545 ‎什麼? 170 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:07,755 ‎不重要了 171 00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:10,925 ‎派克斯頓,我真的、真的很抱歉 172 00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:14,720 ‎我真的不在乎妳跟小班混,好嗎? 173 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,682 ‎可是妳毀了我拿到游泳獎學金的機會 174 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:21,602 ‎所以我現在要靠妳幫我作弊上大學 175 00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:23,062 ‎可以嗎? 176 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,148 ‎很好 177 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,996 ‎抱歉,打攪一下 ‎我寫好你的數學和英文作業 178 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,332 ‎還幫你做了美術課的盤子勞作 179 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,168 ‎很有鄉村風,適合當餐桌上高雅… 180 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,546 ‎很好,放在那邊就可以了 181 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:53,634 ‎雖然迪薇對派克斯頓很殘忍 ‎但是這樣也太侮辱人了 182 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:56,220 ‎喂,妳擋到電視了! 183 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:59,307 ‎可惡,瘋女迪薇,妳害我自爆了 184 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:03,561 ‎而且派克斯頓發現懲罰她 ‎並不會讓自己爽 185 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,857 ‎你竟然當著她的面講那種話 186 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,610 ‎她真的擋到電視啦 187 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:11,986 ‎(三角函數成績:A) 188 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:15,531 ‎就算拿了今生第一個“A” ‎也是空虛的勝利感 189 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,993 ‎這就像看自己修圖過度的泳裝照一樣 190 00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:22,496 ‎雖然有個小翹臀,但你知道都是假的 191 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:31,172 ‎好,我要妳寫生物課本第6課的題目 192 00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:34,467 ‎這是西班牙文人體單字的測驗卷 193 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,760 ‎我已經寫了… 194 00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,011 ‎蛋 195 00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:40,931 ‎很好,感激不盡,再見 196 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:41,932 ‎什麼? 197 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,477 ‎我明天會拿給你 198 00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:48,689 ‎蕾貝卡,妳的衣服還是很漂亮 199 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,691 ‎-謝謝,迪薇 ‎-再見 200 00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,071 ‎你要迪薇寫你的功課? 201 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,365 ‎小聲點好嗎? 202 00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:00,701 ‎妳聽我解釋,是她害我沒有… 203 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:01,619 ‎沒有尊嚴? 204 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,747 ‎沒有,好狠,拜託,蕾貝卡 205 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:07,667 ‎是她害我沒辦法拿獎學金的 206 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,877 ‎她幫我是應該的,誰叫她欠我? 207 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,961 ‎沒人欠你什麼 208 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,714 ‎我拼了老命才能上時裝課程 209 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:18,386 ‎-我知道,妳讓我覺得很光榮 ‎-你不想讓自己覺得很光榮嗎? 210 00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,554 ‎我只想進大學,就這樣 211 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:24,266 ‎如果沒有迪薇,我不知道能不能進去 212 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,894 ‎那也許你沒那個資格 213 00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:30,648 ‎媽呀,蕾貝卡,罵得真狠 214 00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:33,567 ‎我可沒有選邊站喔,我是他的旁白 215 00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:40,533 ‎派克斯頓的父母,凱文和瓊恩 216 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:41,867 ‎在當地開運動用品店 217 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,079 ‎你們看得出來他們很虔誠 218 00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:46,288 ‎但不是恐怖的那種 219 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:50,626 ‎“我們會在車上貼基督教貼紙” ‎那種虔誠的方式 220 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:54,004 ‎阿門,派克斯頓,你爺爺打來了 221 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:56,465 ‎他說:“電子郵件壞了” 222 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,885 ‎所以你放學後可以幫他嗎? ‎他看到你最高興了 223 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:03,180 ‎好啊,反正我現在也沒事好幹 224 00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:05,975 ‎學校的事怎麼樣? 225 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:09,019 ‎對,你的升學輔導老師打來 226 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:11,564 ‎她說因為游泳沒辦法了… 227 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,899 ‎-我得提高學科分數 ‎-對 228 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,651 ‎我知道,我搞定了 229 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,361 ‎有人幫忙搞定了 230 00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:22,491 ‎兒子,說實話,我跟華納老師說過 ‎不會給你這種壓力 231 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,536 ‎我們家比較重視人品,不重視成績 232 00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:26,787 ‎對 233 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,206 ‎你們覺得我進不了大學? 234 00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,917 ‎不,兒子,我們不是這個意思 235 00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,879 ‎只是你成績本來就不好 236 00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:38,299 ‎對啊,我們要你知道 ‎就算你沒念大學 237 00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,301 ‎也完全沒有關係 238 00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,887 ‎留在老家,到店裡幫忙 239 00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:46,432 ‎對啊,每次你值班,運動胸罩就大賣 240 00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:50,686 ‎哇,這對嬉皮基督徒 ‎對兒子的期待真低 241 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,230 ‎比派克斯頓爸爸的馬尾巴還低 242 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:56,233 ‎你們沒想過我可能想念大學嗎? 243 00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:58,152 ‎-真的? ‎-當然啊 244 00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,322 ‎我也想受教育,闖一番事業 245 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:04,492 ‎那非常好啊,兒子 246 00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:08,287 ‎但是如果你要上大學,就得非常用功 247 00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,791 ‎我可以用功啊,妳怎麼覺得我不行? 248 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:13,292 ‎我想回答這一題 249 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:15,586 ‎不要,拜託別說 250 00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:19,465 ‎同學和老師看不起他已經夠慘了 251 00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:23,219 ‎可是聽到父母幫他找 ‎不必拼升學的藉口 252 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,137 ‎真的讓派克斯頓很痛心 253 00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:26,972 ‎你要什麼新密碼? 254 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,601 ‎-狗 ‎-太短了 255 00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:33,687 ‎-好吧,很多狗 ‎-至少要有八個字母啦 256 00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:36,607 ‎天啊,這樣太多,我老了耶 257 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:38,776 ‎什麼事? 258 00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:43,364 ‎泰德,想喝點新鮮檸檬汁嗎? 259 00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:46,075 ‎雪柔,這是我孫子,派克斯頓 260 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:50,871 ‎好帥喔,跟他爺爺一個樣 261 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,750 ‎我等你一個人時再過來 262 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:57,711 ‎乖乖,花心大少 263 00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:01,423 ‎你還好意思講這種話? ‎我都看到石膏上的心心了 264 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,259 ‎你也知道,我跟你學的 265 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:04,510 ‎最好是 266 00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,722 ‎-爺爺? ‎-怎樣? 267 00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,516 ‎-可以問一個問題嗎? ‎-問吧 268 00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:14,353 ‎你覺得我笨到上不了大學嗎? 269 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,273 ‎什麼?誰講的? 270 00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:21,110 ‎基本上每個人都這樣說,包括爸媽 271 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,486 ‎他們懂什麼? 272 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:25,239 ‎別搞錯意思,我很愛他們 273 00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:27,992 ‎但是他們曬太多太陽,腦袋燒壞了 274 00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,953 ‎你當然有上大學的腦袋 275 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:34,415 ‎你才五歲就能講流利日語 276 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:35,916 ‎我覺得你是個天才 277 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,294 ‎謝謝,爺爺 278 00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:42,715 ‎派克斯頓,每個人對你會有不同想法 279 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,926 ‎覺得你很笨,不屬於某個圈子 280 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,013 ‎但你是整個安養中心最帥的男人 281 00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:50,681 ‎什麼事? 282 00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:52,933 ‎泰德,我幫你準備了烤雞 283 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,602 ‎葛芮蒂,我在忙! 284 00:14:56,228 --> 00:15:00,482 ‎派克斯頓,真正重要的 ‎是你對自己的想法 285 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,235 ‎所以要為自己爭取榮耀,好嗎? 286 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,031 ‎現在,我要把這個給你 287 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:08,949 ‎在這兒 288 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:12,453 ‎你每次都想送我 ‎這只是一箱你不想看的書 289 00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:15,956 ‎不對,這些是傳家之寶 ‎有的已經非常古老 290 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:20,169 ‎真的?裡面還有《阿凡達》電影小說 291 00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:23,213 ‎等我死了以後,你要珍惜這本書 292 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,842 ‎把納美人的智慧傳給你的孫子 293 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:30,554 ‎-謝謝 ‎-現在想不想吃點烤雞? 294 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:40,439 ‎嗨,我覺得你應該做自己的木工作業 295 00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:42,524 ‎裡面是鳥飼料,所以很重 296 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,944 ‎可是我忘了做鳥的出入口 297 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,322 ‎其實我不要妳幫我做功課了 298 00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:51,575 ‎因為這個鳥窩很爛嗎?我懂 299 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:53,744 ‎沒有,跟鳥窩無關 300 00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:57,373 ‎等一下,你在下面也做了屋頂? 301 00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,166 ‎我一慌就亂做 302 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,752 ‎其實我想了很多 303 00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:04,380 ‎我不想用作弊的方式上大學 304 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,676 ‎所以妳可以當我的真家教嗎? 305 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,260 ‎那當然 306 00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:13,555 ‎太好了,“面對歷史”課星期五要考試 307 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,932 ‎可以從那邊開始嗎? 308 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,684 ‎好啊,我很樂意… 309 00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:21,438 ‎哇 310 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:25,901 ‎好,誰在1945年10月的英國報上 ‎發明了“冷戰”一詞? 311 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,112 ‎我不知道,俄國嗎? 312 00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,738 ‎不對,是喬治歐威爾 313 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,657 ‎你覺得全俄國人 314 00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,742 ‎都坐在打字機前寫文章嗎? 315 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,577 ‎我不知道,這種東西好難 316 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,163 ‎不能想辦法讓歷史變有趣嗎? 317 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,125 ‎像《漢彌頓》音樂劇 ‎用饒舌曲唱出歷史? 318 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,795 ‎我不行啦,我不會…唱 319 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,134 ‎對 320 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,928 ‎死了,拜託別唱了 321 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:57,641 ‎蘇聯發射史普尼克 ‎但他們該去吸雞雞 322 00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,977 ‎我不行,我不玩了… 323 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,563 ‎妳剛才叫人造衛星吸雞雞? 324 00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,773 ‎你記得史普尼克是人造衛星? 325 00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:06,233 ‎真的耶 326 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,068 ‎有人學到東西囉 327 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,239 ‎妳房間裡怎麼有男生?還把門關起來 328 00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:14,408 ‎媽,我只是當他的家教,別緊張 329 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,327 ‎他要妳當家教? 330 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:22,374 ‎好,但妳當家教 ‎可以離遠一點吧?移開! 331 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,252 ‎-好啦 ‎-你們在用功,不是教探戈舞 332 00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:26,503 ‎裡面有男生? 333 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,339 ‎你好帥喔 334 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:32,760 ‎你是什麼種族的?讓我猜三次 335 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,970 ‎不行,不要這樣,走吧 336 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:38,682 ‎迪薇,門要打開 337 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,812 ‎這就是我成績好的原因 338 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,231 ‎我跟一群很煩的印度女人住 339 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,942 ‎我媽說只要成績低於“A” 340 00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,944 ‎她就會體罰,給我學習動機 341 00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:56,658 ‎天啊,我知道了,我當你的印度虎媽 342 00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:58,827 ‎這樣也許有用 343 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,997 ‎可是妳當我媽不是有點亂來嗎? 344 00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:03,791 ‎為什麼? 345 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:06,502 ‎我不知道,因為我們交往過 346 00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:10,297 ‎派克斯頓!拜託,住手 347 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:12,424 ‎你的這雙朦朧電眼會迷死人 348 00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:15,094 ‎好耶 349 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,640 ‎蘇聯和幾個東歐國家 350 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:22,476 ‎組成的軍事同盟叫什麼? 351 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:26,814 ‎華沙公約組織,鐵錚錚的事實 ‎看吧,我也會饒舌樂 352 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:30,192 ‎一流的饒舌曲,好 ‎第一個美國太空人是誰? 353 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,277 ‎等一下,這個有口訣 354 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:36,657 ‎太空、月球、數羊、羊皮“靴” ‎是亞倫“薛”帕德! 355 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,493 ‎-古巴飛彈危機持續了幾天? ‎-12天 356 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,453 ‎搞什麼? 357 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,580 ‎你剛剛丟你全家人的臉 358 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:44,998 ‎為什麼不學你表哥? 359 00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,543 ‎我表哥在大麻店工作 360 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:51,797 ‎讓我把一點知識 ‎呼到你的大腦裡,13天啦 361 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,340 ‎靠 362 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,968 ‎沒關係,你一定沒問題 363 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,598 ‎-喂,“買雞排” ‎-跟你說過不要這樣叫我 364 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:02,683 ‎我知道,不過 365 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:06,520 ‎我趁夏皮羅老師出去吃巴西莓果時 ‎偷了考試答案 366 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,313 ‎現在全寫在大腿上 367 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:10,899 ‎來,你想抄嗎? 368 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,193 ‎不用了,我沒問題,我有唸書 369 00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,696 ‎什麼?你有唸書? 370 00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:19,533 ‎你為什麼不能學你表弟賣大麻? 371 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,713 ‎好,他寫名字了,這下有望了 372 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:37,718 ‎糟糕,簡答題?選擇題死去哪裡了? 373 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:42,639 ‎好,我們一定能過,派克斯頓 ‎你還記得北約是什麼 374 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,601 ‎就是北大西洋公約組織 375 00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:48,145 ‎北大西洋公約組織 376 00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:51,064 ‎拜託,孩子,先寫“北”吧 377 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,525 ‎只有混蛋才會笑著考試 378 00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,612 ‎快動筆啦,小派,寫什麼都好 379 00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:04,995 ‎不行…別慌,深呼… 380 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,666 ‎糟糕,他閃人了 381 00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:21,428 ‎你還好吧?怎麼回事? 382 00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:25,224 ‎我不知道,剛才超級扯的 383 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:29,102 ‎我心跳加速,好像無法呼吸 384 00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:33,190 ‎考個歷史科也會這樣,我怎麼了? 385 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,902 ‎你應該是驚慌過度 386 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:40,155 ‎我以前在游泳比賽前會緊張 387 00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:44,785 ‎但一下水就不會,因為我知道我很強 388 00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:48,205 ‎你也可以功課好,只要練習就行了 389 00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,832 ‎你第一次游蝶式就很厲害嗎? 390 00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,168 ‎對啊,還打破學校紀錄 391 00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:57,172 ‎哇,蝶式是有名的難耶 392 00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:00,592 ‎-我覺得很簡單 ‎-好啦,菲爾普斯,少臭屁 393 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,761 ‎不過回到學業的事 394 00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:04,930 ‎我覺得你驚慌過度有好處 395 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,600 ‎為什麼?感覺超差的 396 00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:11,144 ‎因為這代表你在乎功課 397 00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:13,563 ‎你關心課業 398 00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:18,110 ‎可惡,這樣講也對耶 399 00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:20,028 ‎好怪喔 400 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:22,781 ‎又幫不了什麼忙 401 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:27,160 ‎這次考試我絕對沒過 ‎我大概連今天的日期都寫錯了 402 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:30,497 ‎還好你有逼人太甚的印度老媽 403 00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:32,791 ‎起來,我們走,我跟你老師講去 404 00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:35,127 ‎你聾子啊?起來!我們走! 405 00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:37,004 ‎-好啦… ‎-走啦,快點 406 00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,171 ‎好啦… 407 00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:43,969 ‎夏皮羅老師,派克斯頓想要重考 408 00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:49,474 ‎各位,對不起,這對其他學生不公平 409 00:21:50,058 --> 00:21:53,812 ‎夏皮羅老師,因為你向體制低頭 410 00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:56,273 ‎派克斯頓才會質疑自我價值 411 00:21:56,857 --> 00:22:00,902 ‎如果你不給他第二次機會 ‎就等於告訴他年輕男人 412 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,487 ‎不能有脆弱的時候 413 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:06,283 ‎進一步深化“男子氣概”這種有毒思想 414 00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:08,327 ‎沒錯 415 00:22:09,077 --> 00:22:10,996 ‎天啊,會這樣嗎? 416 00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:15,751 ‎謝謝妳指正我的錯誤,迪薇 417 00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:18,003 ‎派克斯頓,中午時過來一趟 418 00:22:18,086 --> 00:22:20,297 ‎你可以重考 419 00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:23,967 ‎真的嗎?謝謝夏老師,我一定會去 420 00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:29,348 ‎剛才是怎樣? 421 00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:32,392 ‎想當個優等生,就要先學會控制老師 422 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:34,811 ‎帕洛馬老師每年都送我聖誕禮物 423 00:22:37,397 --> 00:22:41,610 ‎小班看到迪薇跟派克斯頓重修舊好 ‎心裡很不是滋味 424 00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:45,197 ‎安迪山伯格,給我滾開 ‎這不是你負責的那一集 425 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:49,785 ‎隨便啦,哈蒂徳! ‎幹嘛佔有欲這麼強?我走了 426 00:22:51,995 --> 00:22:53,872 ‎-怎麼了? ‎-嗨 427 00:22:54,664 --> 00:22:56,249 ‎我買餅乾送給得意門生 428 00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:58,085 ‎謝謝 429 00:23:02,756 --> 00:23:03,965 ‎靠自己的感覺真好 430 00:23:06,676 --> 00:23:07,636 ‎妳看 431 00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:08,678 ‎你拿了“B” 432 00:23:09,262 --> 00:23:10,305 ‎我拿了“B” 433 00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:11,973 ‎太猛了 434 00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:12,891 ‎至少是個開始 435 00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:15,310 ‎對了,謝謝妳推我一把 436 00:23:16,103 --> 00:23:20,690 ‎沒問題,算是我欠你的 ‎畢竟我害你被車撞 437 00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:24,277 ‎還有那件事 438 00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:27,531 ‎對啊,那件事 439 00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:30,367 ‎我們真的不必提那檔事了 440 00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:32,369 ‎沒事了 441 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:36,206 ‎真的嗎?哇,我鬆了一口氣 442 00:23:36,289 --> 00:23:37,290 ‎對啊 443 00:23:37,999 --> 00:23:41,420 ‎現在想想,實在也太扯蛋了 ‎對吧?我們兩個? 444 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,881 ‎我們本來就不可能長久 445 00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:48,468 ‎我們在一起真的很奇怪 446 00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:50,011 ‎對吧? 447 00:23:51,638 --> 00:23:53,056 ‎對啊… 448 00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:57,144 ‎家教和家教學生的關係 ‎比較適合我們兩個 449 00:23:57,853 --> 00:23:58,770 ‎沒錯 450 00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:03,066 ‎那麼…妳要在我的石膏上簽名嗎? 451 00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,026 ‎好啊 452 00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:08,405 ‎都快寫滿了 453 00:24:08,905 --> 00:24:12,617 ‎佐伊梅泰格都不想留位子給別人的 454 00:24:12,701 --> 00:24:16,037 ‎佐伊就是這樣 ‎她好像還蓋住幾個人的名字 455 00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,914 ‎這樣才像她 456 00:24:25,422 --> 00:24:26,548 ‎妳看 457 00:24:27,883 --> 00:24:31,386 ‎只有“B”,迪薇狀況不好嗎? 458 00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:36,099 ‎不,是我的狀況很好 ‎我真的有用功,靠實力考出來的 459 00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:38,268 ‎你有看課本? 460 00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:41,313 ‎我有,而且還看了書上的字 461 00:24:41,396 --> 00:24:43,148 ‎她教你怎麼認字? 462 00:24:43,231 --> 00:24:46,318 ‎蕾貝卡讚!誰快幫她申請推特帳號 463 00:24:46,401 --> 00:24:47,903 ‎我們需要她的直白 464 00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:52,157 ‎妳說得對,如果我要上大學 ‎就必須靠自己爭取 465 00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:53,992 ‎你讓我覺得好驕傲 466 00:24:54,618 --> 00:24:56,661 ‎謝謝小蕾,妳也讓我覺得好驕傲 467 00:24:57,245 --> 00:25:00,373 ‎喂,你可以試穿一下嗎? 468 00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:03,043 ‎我覺得你跟坎達珍娜的尺碼一樣 469 00:25:03,835 --> 00:25:05,837 ‎我覺得比較像凱莉珍娜,但… 470 00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:10,050 ‎雖然我很開心 471 00:25:10,133 --> 00:25:14,262 ‎但是我得回到自己身兼多職 ‎超有成就感的生活 472 00:25:15,096 --> 00:25:18,225 ‎希望大家都學到不要以貌取人 473 00:25:18,808 --> 00:25:21,770 ‎還有冷戰在1991年就結束了 474 00:25:22,646 --> 00:25:24,856 ‎約翰馬克安諾,現場交還給你 475 00:26:14,906 --> 00:26:16,366 ‎字幕翻譯:溫鳳祺