1 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,973 It had been a week since Devi's violent encounter 2 00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:15,890 with the coyote, 3 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:19,602 but Paxton's words from the hospital were still echoing in her mind. 4 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,354 That's why it's cool we're friends. 5 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,939 Of course he had friendzoned her. 6 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,150 She thought a wild animal was her dad. 7 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:28,570 As much as Devi wanted to be a chill girl that you could have sex with, 8 00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:30,989 she knew the truth: she was a weird loser, 9 00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:32,407 and a member of the UN, 10 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,576 and today was certainly not gonna change that. 11 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,201 Are you Princess Jasmine? 12 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,287 No, but thank you. She is very beautiful. 13 00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:20,497 Ariel's prettier. 14 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:21,873 Where's Aladdin? 15 00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:23,041 I don't have an Aladdin, 16 00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,959 because he just wants to be friends. 17 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:26,586 Okay... 18 00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:29,881 Hi. Can I have two black coffees and one large hot chocolate? 19 00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:31,424 But can you write latte on the cup? 20 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:32,967 I want people to take me seriously. 21 00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:37,305 Oh, can my daughter take a photo with you? You look so amazing. 22 00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:38,473 No, thanks. 23 00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:40,558 She'd really love to put it on her Instagram. 24 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,143 It's so cultural. 25 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,771 I don't really feel at home right now in my choice of clothing. 26 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:47,148 I mean, usually I don't, but especially today. 27 00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,776 She's just a little girl. 28 00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:51,778 Okay, sir, you don't have to say it like that. 29 00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:53,196 I just don't want to take a photo. 30 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,740 Also, why do we have to commemorate everything on social media? 31 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,659 Hmm? Why can't we just live in the moment? 32 00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,744 You were on Twitter the entire time you were in line. 33 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:03,665 You tweeted a "thank you" to a Target ad telling you to have a happy Labor Day. 34 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:06,167 - Fine. Let's just take the photo. - Go. 35 00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:09,379 Okay. 36 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,756 You want any doughnuts with that? 37 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,884 Yeah, Ira, I do, but I'm fasting today. 38 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:15,802 Oh. 39 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,053 Is it Ramadan? 40 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,222 No, it's not, Ira. 41 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:21,391 Today is Ganesh Puja. 42 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,358 Looks like an ad for India, right? 43 00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:33,236 Or at least the middle of an Indiana Jones movie, but it's not. 44 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,280 This is Ganesh Puja, baby. 45 00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:38,741 Ganesh Puja is a Hindu holiday celebrating Lord Ganesh, 46 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:41,286 and a time to share warm moments with family. 47 00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:43,496 Speaking of warm moments with family, 48 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,415 let's check in with the Vishwakumars. 49 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,500 Mom, this sari is so uncomfortable. 50 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,294 Why does it itch so much? 51 00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:52,130 Itchiness of saris is a rite of passage for Indian women. 52 00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:53,047 Deal with it. 53 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,717 Why can't I just wear kurta and jeans like I normally do? 54 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,970 Then I don't have to get half naked every time I need to go to the bathroom. 55 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,930 Devi, you're of age now. 56 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,682 Half sari is more appropriate. 57 00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:04,809 Ew, Mom. Don't say "of age." 58 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,936 It makes me sound like a girl in a douche commercial. 59 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,230 -What is douche? -OK, everyone stop talking about douche. 60 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,357 Lord Ganesh doesn't need to see my daughter 61 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,735 in ripped jeans and a "Fries Before Guys" t-shirt. 62 00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,570 Nalini was a little on edge. 63 00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:17,488 This was the first puja they had gone to 64 00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:20,575 since Mohan's untimely death and Devi's paralysis. 65 00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:23,870 Last week, Mrs. Iyengar asked if we were going to show up at puja, 66 00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:26,956 or whether we, quote, "had too much going on." 67 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,042 I could just hear the pity in her voice. 68 00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:32,670 Too much going on, for Ganesh Puja? That bitch. 69 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,172 -Whoa. -Auntie, you must calm down. 70 00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:37,050 Why does the Hindu Association have to have puja at my high school? 71 00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,176 It's so low-rent. 72 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:40,678 Ben Gross's bar mitzvah was at the Dolby Theatre. 73 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,263 They have the Oscars there. 74 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:44,015 Jewish people know how to save. 75 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,725 Us, Indians, we get a little bit of money, 76 00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:48,061 we go straight to Home Depot to buy a cement fountain. 77 00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:50,063 We're just obsessed with fountains. 78 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,481 Oh, I love a fountain. 79 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,483 Anyway, Devi, 80 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:56,236 you know Sanchiti Bhattacharyya will be at puja, right? 81 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,571 You remember her useless white husband Ron? 82 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,157 Turns out, he's not that useless after all. 83 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:05,495 He runs the most exclusive college counseling company in LA. 84 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:08,289 Ninety percent of their kids get into Ivy Leagues. 85 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,582 And they are so elite, 86 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,293 they don't even count Cornell and Penn as Ivies. 87 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:15,088 He's so successful, he has his own Tesla. 88 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:16,631 I Zillow-ed his house. 89 00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:18,508 Do you want to know what the Zestimate was? 90 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,593 One point eight million dollars! 91 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:24,055 -Whoa. He loaded. -Yes, he is. 92 00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:26,224 Now, Ron doesn't take many kids, so... 93 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:29,269 if you want to go to Princeton, you know what you need to do. 94 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:30,853 I'm on it, Mom. 95 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:34,232 Winning over old-ass teacher types is my super power. 96 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:35,608 Good girl. 97 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,704 Oh, god. Aunties approaching. 98 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,205 Don't look. 99 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,665 Where? Where should I not look? 100 00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,250 Damn it, Kamala. 101 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:56,296 Aunties are older Indian women who have no blood relationship to you, 102 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:59,590 but are allowed to have opinions about your life and all your shortcomings. 103 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,676 You have to be nice to them because you're Indian. 104 00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:04,178 It's so good to see you, and Devi, 105 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,097 what a relief to see you're no longer a cripple. 106 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:07,390 What a miracle. 107 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,891 I prayed for her every day. 108 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,978 I said, "No matter why you have chosen to curse them, 109 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,439 please cure her as a reward for my virtue." 110 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:16,899 Thank you. I'm sure your prayers did it. 111 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,819 Yes. Thank you for thinking of us. How is Arjun? 112 00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:22,322 You know Arjun. He just installed a home theater. 113 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:25,700 Two rows of seats. Dolby 5.1 surround sound. 114 00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,368 Popcorn machine coming soon. 115 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,455 Sunu, they don't care about your stupid home theater 116 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,248 with all they've been through. 117 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,959 I know exactly how you feel. 118 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,420 My husband, Pradeep, had testicular cancer. 119 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,088 I'm so sorry for your loss. 120 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,340 Oh, no. He's fine. 121 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,258 It was stage one. They caught it early, 122 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,552 removed his testicle, and now he's running the 10K. 123 00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:47,847 You're right. Our situations are so similar. 124 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:51,392 Uh, you know my niece, Kamala, right? 125 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,978 Getting her doctorate at Caltech, soon to be engaged... 126 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,605 to an engineer. 127 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,398 The boy's parents have two Mercedes. 128 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,192 -Two Mercedes? -Lucky. 129 00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:02,779 As the aunties praised her, Kamala had a sinking feeling. 130 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,197 She didn't want to get married, 131 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,740 but she put on a happy face 132 00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,367 like I did at the trophy ceremony 133 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:11,162 when I lost the French Open to Ivan Lendl in 1984. 134 00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:12,622 I'm gonna go find Ron. 135 00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,957 Okay. I'll just stay here and kill myself. 136 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,560 Even though Devi was Indian, 137 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:38,022 she didn't think of herself as Indian Indian like these girls, 138 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,690 which is a whole other thing. 139 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,110 So sometimes she felt a little out of place. 140 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,277 They seem cool here, 141 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,739 but can you imagine how dorky they would look doing this anywhere else? 142 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,825 That's my sister, Preethi. 143 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,244 Her Bollywood dance group was in the Macy's Day Parade 144 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:53,496 on a float sponsored by Ziploc. 145 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,206 So who looks dorky now? 146 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:59,168 Damn, Devi. Preethi's sister really schooled you. Read the room. 147 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,472 - Harish. - Devi, hey. 148 00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,016 I was hoping I'd see someone cool here. 149 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,769 Do you know if anyone like that is coming? 150 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,146 Ouch, burn. 151 00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,647 So why are you at this lame-fest? 152 00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:22,608 Shouldn't you be at Stanford, like, playing frisbee with a computer? 153 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:23,985 I actually really wanted to come. 154 00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:25,570 To Ganesh Puja? 155 00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:28,531 At a public high school in the Valley? Are you insane? 156 00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:31,033 Tell me the truth. Did they send you home on medical leave? 157 00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:33,035 Are you suicidal from Accutane? 158 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,162 No. 159 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,330 Look, I know I used to clown on this every year, 160 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,416 but the truth is, I kinda miss puja. 161 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:39,750 Are you kidding? 162 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,253 When I get into Princeton, I'm never coming back. 163 00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:44,755 I'm gonna be an atheist, who eats cheeseburgers every day 164 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,132 with my white boyfriend. 165 00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:47,633 I thought I'd be that way too, 166 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,594 but it was different when I went to college. 167 00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:51,721 My roommate, Nick, is Native American, 168 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,723 and he's so into being Native American. 169 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,892 At first, I was like, "You're away from your parents. 170 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:58,728 You don't have to pretend to care about your ancestry or whatever." 171 00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,355 But then he took me to their campus powwow. 172 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,858 No one was standing in the corner making fun of it. 173 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:06,360 They were dancing and chanting, 174 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,738 and having a great time, and it made me think, 175 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,741 "Why do I think it's so weird and embarrassing to be Indian?" 176 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,159 Where do I start? 177 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,995 How about every single thing my mom has ever said and done? 178 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,831 I just thought, "Am I gonna be this insecure Indian guy, 179 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,333 who hates doing Indian things?" 180 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,710 'Cause that's its own identity. It's just a shitty one. 181 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:25,463 Well, that's definitely not my identity. 182 00:08:25,546 --> 00:08:27,006 I love being Indian. 183 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,925 Real convincing, Devi. 184 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,052 I look more comfortable being Indian. 185 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:39,977 You need to spread Mohan's ashes. 186 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,230 I spread my mother's in the fountain at the Bellagio. 187 00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:43,648 She was a gambling addict. 188 00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,650 That's very touching, um... 189 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,276 I just haven't had the time. 190 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,112 You know he cannot get into heaven until you accept his death? 191 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,364 Oh. 192 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,449 I meant to ask you. Later today, 193 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,619 you think you can look at a few skin tags? They're under my left breast. 194 00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:59,747 I'm really looking forward to it. Yeah. 195 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,169 I'll find you later. 196 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,138 This is Pandit Rajakrishnan, 197 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,307 but everyone calls him Pandit Raj. 198 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:22,687 He's the community spiritual leader and also really knows how to work a room. 199 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:25,690 Now, everybody repeat after me. 200 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,574 Just kidding. We'll do something easier. 201 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,785 I like Pandit Raj. He's got a good energy. 202 00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:38,911 Come forward. 203 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,705 Have you spoken to Ron yet? 204 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,665 I've spent all morning kissing up to Sanchiti. 205 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,750 I even told her I would Botox her armpits for free. 206 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,294 Not yet. I can't find him. 207 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:48,087 You can't find the one middle-aged white man 208 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,006 in a group of 500 Indian people? 209 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,133 Come forward. We are ready for the next group. 210 00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:54,218 - Give it to Pandit Raj. - Nalini. 211 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:55,344 Thank you. 212 00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:57,597 Pray you get into Princeton. 213 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,932 Don't waste your prayers on stupid things like world peace. 214 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,144 Praying had always been hard for Devi. 215 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,187 It was so easy to get distracted. 216 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,232 First, she would start praying for the health of her mom and cousin, 217 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,693 but then would veer off, thinking about homework, 218 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:13,988 or how in this kneeling position, she could smell her deodorant. 219 00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:16,866 So she really had to focus on what she wanted: 220 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,702 an acceptance letter from the college of her dreams... 221 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:23,789 Princeton! 222 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:28,252 ...a sudden maturing in certain areas of her body... 223 00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:33,049 Hey. 224 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,676 ...unexpected overtures from certain people at school... 225 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:36,802 I think I love you. 226 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:41,974 ...and hearing her mother say the thing she most longed for. 227 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,434 I'm so proud of you. 228 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,729 And you can get your septum pierced. 229 00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,731 But this year was different. 230 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,566 She didn't want her usual things. 231 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,443 Don't miss. 232 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,362 Ah! 233 00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,572 In your face. 234 00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,407 She wanted something else. 235 00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:05,665 Have tika. 236 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:09,377 Meanwhile, Kamala knew what exactly she was praying for. 237 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:13,714 For her fiance, Prashant, to fall in love with someone in his doctorate program 238 00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,508 at the University of Chicago, 239 00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:17,510 and for their engagement to be over. 240 00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,846 You do not wish to be married? 241 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:25,101 Damn, Pandit Raj. That's spooky as hell. You're good. 242 00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:30,815 Your hair is so black. 243 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:34,360 When my sister's husband died, she stopped coloring her hair. 244 00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:37,279 Well, I didn't want to let myself go completely. 245 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,948 Mohan wouldn't have wanted that. 246 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:41,158 You just don't want to give people the wrong idea. 247 00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:44,954 What idea? That I love my husband less because my roots aren't showing? 248 00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:46,706 Let's go inside. 249 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,040 I heard Roopa got fat. 250 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:59,343 Bingo! White guy. College counselor Ron. 251 00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,220 Go get him, Devi. 252 00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:05,975 Hey, are you Ron Hansen-Bhattacharyya? 253 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:07,226 Yes. 254 00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:09,895 It's so nice to meet you. My name is Devi Vishwakumar. 255 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,814 I'm a student at this high school, actually. 256 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:12,815 Oh, cool. 257 00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:15,359 Sherman Oaks High is a good Ivy feeder school. 258 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:18,070 Although the college counselor Susan is a joke. 259 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,030 Yeah. She's also the lunch lady. 260 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,616 -So, she's got a lot on her plate. -Hmm. 261 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:26,370 I just wanted to say how interested I would be in procuring your services. 262 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:27,913 Your stats are amazing. 263 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,915 Well, I don't know. I mean, I... 264 00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:34,587 only got 28 kids into Ivies last year, but I wanted 30. 265 00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,297 The other two went to MIT, 266 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,090 but you can't win 'em all. 267 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:41,594 Well, I guess I can't relate because I do win 'em all. 268 00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:44,764 I'm in all AP classes and got a perfect score on my PSAT. 269 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,099 Great segue, Devi. Effortless. 270 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,435 All while volunteering at the kidney dialysis center. 271 00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:50,561 When I'm not doing that, 272 00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:52,480 I read Vietnam vets their Bill O'Reilly books. 273 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:57,401 Okay, look... I can say this because I married an Indian woman 274 00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,570 and am a proud member of this vibrant community. 275 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:02,907 But schools don't want another Indian try-hard, 276 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,159 who is president of the padded resume club. 277 00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:06,076 What? 278 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,120 Renal failure is what keeps me up at night. 279 00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:10,456 Colleges want kids with unusual stories. 280 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:11,832 I had this kid. 281 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,627 He got into a car crash. He was dead a full 30 seconds. 282 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,922 He said god told him to go to Yale. It worked. 283 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,550 Uh, I outgrew a nut allergy, so that's something. 284 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:25,638 -I actually know who you are. -You do? 285 00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:28,265 You're the girl whose dad died in front of her at a concert 286 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:29,725 and became paralyzed. 287 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,394 Devi couldn't believe that the major trauma of her life 288 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,648 could be reduced to a single sentence, but there it was. 289 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:37,399 Yeah. What about it? 290 00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:41,654 That story is freaking amazing. 291 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:44,782 You have the golden ticket. If you're willing to talk about it, 292 00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,659 I bet I can get you into any school you want. 293 00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:49,620 But Devi didn't want to use the story of her father's death 294 00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:53,541 as a way to make herself more interesting to a bunch of admission committees. 295 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,209 No, I'm not gonna do that. 296 00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:57,837 Well, without it, I don't get your angle. 297 00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:00,589 To be honest, I don't see how you would be different 298 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,466 than any other Indian kid applying to college. 299 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,718 I'm not like any other Indian kid, 300 00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,929 and I'm not interesting just because my dad died. 301 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,514 Then what makes you interesting? 302 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:09,932 Oh, I don't know, Ron. 303 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,476 Maybe it's my perfect grades or my killer test scores. 304 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,937 Or maybe it's my bitchin' personality 305 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,772 or my insane PowerPoint skills. 306 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,942 I don't need some washed-up white dude, who leases a Tesla 307 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,111 telling me what makes me special. 308 00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:24,947 Leasing is still a financial commitment! 309 00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,491 And my monthly payment is quite high! 310 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,369 Oh, look, an open table. 311 00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:31,537 No, no. Come, come. 312 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:36,333 Hey, kids, move. 313 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,543 Just take your slime and go. 314 00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:38,961 Come on. People are still eating. 315 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:44,174 Why could we not sit there? 316 00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:45,634 That's Jaya Kuyavar. 317 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,888 She came from Chennai, went to UCLA for her doctorate, 318 00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:50,973 parents found her a nice boy back home to marry. 319 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,808 Then she ran off with an American man. 320 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,226 A Muslim. 321 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,395 Parents never spoke to her again. 322 00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:57,646 Did they come for the wedding? 323 00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,024 Are you out of your mind? You heard me say he was a Muslim. 324 00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:01,400 I feel bad for her. 325 00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:03,527 -We should sit with her. -Mm-mm. 326 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,945 Can't risk it right now. 327 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,780 We're already borderline outcasts. 328 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,116 Devi, what did you do? 329 00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:12,244 I heard from half a dozen aunties that you yelled at college counselor Ron, 330 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,704 and made fum of his electric car! 331 00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:14,747 He deserved it. 332 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:17,333 He said I'm just like any other Indian kid applying to college. 333 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,959 It was so offensive! 334 00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,502 So disappointed in you. 335 00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,634 -I'm gonna eat somewhere else. -Please go. 336 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,601 Is this yours? 337 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,853 -Oh, thank you so much! -Yeah. 338 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,229 You left it on the table. 339 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,357 The table you were sitting at after you and your aunt 340 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:42,858 made a beeline to get away from me. 341 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,818 No, we weren't trying to avoid you. 342 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:48,280 You seemed so popular, we didn't want to take up seats for your friends. 343 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:49,782 Oh. 344 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:52,618 Sure. 345 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:56,455 Hey, um... I need a break from these aunties. 346 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,875 You want to go check out the vending machines? My treat? 347 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:01,126 Okay. 348 00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:07,633 Yeah, so basically, I'm the Hester Prynne of the Indian community 349 00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:08,968 in the San Fernando Valley. 350 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:11,303 I wish I had a less ninth-grade-book analogy for it, 351 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,472 but it's accurate. 352 00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:15,808 So you're ultimately very happy with your decision 353 00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,351 even though you got divorced? 354 00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:18,560 Of course not. 355 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:19,520 No. 356 00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:20,521 I mean look at me. 357 00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:23,732 My closest Indian friend is a woman I met seven minutes ago. 358 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:27,069 No. I wish I had just listened to my family 359 00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:28,612 and married the guy that they chose. 360 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:30,781 Then maybe I wouldn't be divorced. 361 00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:32,950 You know, my kids ask about their grandparents, 362 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:35,577 and... I don't know what to tell them. 363 00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:36,912 Maybe they'll get over it. 364 00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:39,665 Do you have a sibling, who could have a drug problem 365 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,750 or go to community college? That would help. 366 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,628 No, I got two brothers, both neurosurgeons, 367 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:48,132 had a double-arranged wedding with millionaire Hindu sisters. 368 00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:49,049 Oh. 369 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,802 As my cousin would say, "That sucks a fat one." 370 00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,262 Yeah, I agree. 371 00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:57,725 Anyway, I think I'm going to head out. 372 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,019 You know, these things aren't really that fun 373 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,687 when everyone is whispering about you. 374 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,773 But hey, good luck on your engagement... 375 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:08,152 and don't screw it up, yeah? 376 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:21,999 Devi? 377 00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:25,586 Paxton! What are you doing here? 378 00:17:25,669 --> 00:17:28,172 Swim practice. What are you doing here? 379 00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:30,632 Just... Ganesh Puja. 380 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:31,925 It's a weird Indian thing. 381 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:32,843 Oh. 382 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,011 What do you do for it? 383 00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:38,057 We eat and pray to Ganesh. 384 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,601 He's the elephant god. 385 00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:42,478 He's sort of a big deal to Indians. 386 00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:43,979 I mean Hindus. 387 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:47,608 'Cause, you know, there are Muslim Indians, Sikh Indians, Jains, and-- 388 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,276 -Honestly-- -You don't have to give me 389 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,070 the Wikipedia page on India. 390 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,196 Sorry. 391 00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:55,699 So is part of Ganesh Puja kicking lockers in anger? 392 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:58,202 No, that was unrelated. That didn't have... 393 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,081 You were joking. 394 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:06,126 No, I just got mad, which is something I'm working on. 395 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:08,504 You do have kind of a temper, huh? 396 00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:09,838 It's not my fault. 397 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,508 Some old loser was telling me that I'm too Indian, 398 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,760 and some other people think I'm not Indian enough. 399 00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,970 And honestly, all I want to do is eat a doughnut, 400 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:18,347 but I'm stuck here. 401 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,724 Eh. Who cares what other people think? 402 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:22,976 You do you, Vishwakumar. 403 00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,648 Also, you look cool in that outfit. 404 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,858 Did he just say she looked good? 405 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,861 Holy shit. Maybe she wasn't as friendzoned as she thought. 406 00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,702 Okay. I've had my fill of socializing. 407 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,412 -Are you ready to head home? -Yeah. 408 00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,665 -You see Devi anywhere? -I do not. 409 00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:46,166 Perhaps she's gotten her arms stuck 410 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,960 in the vending machine trying to steal chips. 411 00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:49,044 It's happened before. 412 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,212 I'll go check. 413 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:51,922 -Nalini. -Yes? 414 00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:52,923 Are you leaving? 415 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:55,384 Ah, yes. I think it's that time. 416 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,469 It was so great to see you out of the house 417 00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,471 -and Devi back on her feet. -Thank you. 418 00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,515 Let me know if she stops walking again, 419 00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,350 because I have a cousin in medical sales 420 00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:05,561 who can get you a very nice wheelchair for cheap. 421 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:06,478 Hello, ladies. 422 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,647 -Namaste, Pandit Raj. -Hello, Pandit-ji 423 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,858 Would one of you be able to give me a ride? 424 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,985 The day had been a long one for Nalini, 425 00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:16,113 and she needed a win, even if it was a small one. 426 00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:17,281 I can. 427 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:21,285 Oh, wonderful. Could you take me to The Home Depot? 428 00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:22,661 It would be my pleasure. 429 00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:25,956 Great. There's a beautiful fountain I've had my eye on. 430 00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:28,792 This is very kind of you. 431 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,502 I could've taken an Uber. 432 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,045 Our Pandit in an Uber? 433 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,256 What's next? Prime Minister Modi on Postmates? 434 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:35,883 Over my dead body. 435 00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,010 I really enjoyed puja today. 436 00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,344 I like the incense you used. 437 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:40,971 It was like we were in a cannabis store. 438 00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:43,724 Thank you. You can buy it on my website... 439 00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:45,809 coolhindude.com 440 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:51,565 Anyhow, I hope you all found some clarity in your prayers today. 441 00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:52,816 For sure. One hundred percent. 442 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:53,901 Very much so, Pandit-ji. 443 00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:05,579 Wonderful. 444 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:08,415 Thanks for the ride. 445 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:10,542 I found the car very comfortable. 446 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:12,211 Our pleasure, Pandit-ji. 447 00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:13,462 Though there is pain, 448 00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:16,924 the pain will subside because you are a good family. 449 00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,801 And god will always see that. 450 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,017 Where do you want to go to college? 451 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,937 - Princeton. - I will bring it up to god personally. 452 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,608 Thanks for the ride. Go, Lakers!