1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,966 ‪NETFLIX 原创剧集 2 00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:10,049 ‪环球电视公司出品 3 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,428 ‪这是本格罗斯 4 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,223 ‪一个就读于谢尔曼奧克斯高中的 ‪15岁加州男孩 5 00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:18,807 ‪我是美国演员、编剧、制作人 6 00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:20,523 ‪假说唱歌手安迪萨姆伯格 7 00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,113 ‪还能怎么说呢?怪我是个全才 8 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,148 ‪你可能会问自己 9 00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:27,652 ‪安迪萨姆伯格怎么偏偏来给 ‪这个孩子的部分做旁白? 10 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,446 ‪那是因为这孩子的爸爸是我的律师 ‪我欠人家一个人情 11 00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:34,447 ‪不过本是个很好的孩子 ‪所以我也很乐意来帮忙 12 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,244 ‪成功偷到酒的本 13 00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,617 ‪意外地与他最大的劲敌成了盟友 14 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,710 ‪他觉得自己站到了世界之巅 15 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,630 ‪或者至少站到了模拟联合国之巅 16 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,249 ‪再过几个小时 那把令人垂涎的金锤 17 00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:48,296 ‪就要被他装进 ‪他那个怪气怪气的公文包里了 18 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,971 ‪赤道新几内亚正式请求 19 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,091 ‪对美国进行核制裁 20 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,887 ‪不幸的是 本的新盟友 21 00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,970 ‪又打算做回他的老对头了 22 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:57,927 ‪怎么回事 德维? 23 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,447 ‪干什么? 24 00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:15,491 ‪没什么啊 是你先看我的 25 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:20,373 ‪昨晚那场愉快的对话 ‪难道是本臆想出来的? 26 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:23,035 ‪他是不是酒后失言了? 27 00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,841 ‪更糟糕的是 要度过六小时车程的本 28 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,759 ‪发现他把耳机落在宾馆了 29 00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,172 ‪你好啊 30 00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:32,675 ‪看你怪孤单的我来陪陪你 伙计 31 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,675 ‪吃鸡蛋沙拉吗?我还有多余的勺子 32 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:37,973 ‪不了 谢谢 33 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:45,268 {\an8}‪剧名:…成为世界上最寂寞的男孩 34 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,244 ‪嘿 亲爱的 先不说了 35 00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:53,989 ‪我得去圣巴巴拉 ‪参加一个自我实现的静修 36 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,116 ‪你不是刚去过吗? 37 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:59,289 {\an8}‪不是 那是圣克拉拉的正念研修班 38 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,331 {\an8}‪虽然大相径庭 可是都很重要 39 00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:04,872 {\an8}‪好的 那就祝你玩得愉快 40 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,918 {\an8}‪这不是去玩 本 这是一种提升 41 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,457 ‪一种自我提升… 42 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,795 {\an8}‪这样我才会成为更好的母亲 43 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:11,920 ‪我先走了 44 00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,634 {\an8}‪对了 我差点忘了 45 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,387 {\an8}‪你可是刚参加完辩论大赛 46 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:17,469 {\an8}‪拿到A了吗? 47 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,064 ‪其实是模拟联合国… 48 00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:22,635 {\an8}‪是啊 挺有趣的 49 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:23,935 ‪干得漂亮 50 00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:27,018 {\an8}‪等我回来 ‪我们搞个母子声浴庆祝一下吧 51 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:28,612 {\an8}‪妈妈爱你 52 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:32,992 {\an8}‪我也爱你 53 00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:36,244 {\an8}‪本的父母有着非常独特的育儿风格 54 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:37,992 {\an8}‪因为他们什么都不会做 55 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:40,664 {\an8}‪所以虽然本在学校里张扬又傲慢 56 00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:43,663 {\an8}‪可在家的时候 ‪他也只是个安静又孤独的小孩 57 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:46,996 ‪大卫西蒙南瓜和他的骷髅男孩 哈哈 58 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,395 ‪能不能不要再发无聊的骗赞表情包了 59 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:11,689 ‪《瑞克和莫蒂》 ‪才是我们该研究的正题 好吗? 60 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,942 ‪都怪红迪把子版块搞得这么大 61 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,647 ‪它们就跟瑞克议会一样乱套 62 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:37,297 ‪(一个事项:明晚7点半 ‪跟爸爸和希拉看快船队比赛) 63 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:42,135 ‪嘿 老爸 博主们都说 ‪明天的比赛他们很看好科怀伦纳德 64 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:49,482 ‪太好了 看来明天有得看了  伙计 65 00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:00,993 ‪至于交友方面 上高中前 66 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,164 ‪本有两个死党 67 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,003 {\an8}‪这是整天被摩托车 ‪载着上学的布莱恩莱克斯通 68 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,249 {\an8}‪还有打嗝能打出 69 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,370 {\an8}‪《权力的游戏》主题曲的 ‪加莱特冯霍凯诺 70 00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:11,167 {\an8}‪不过他们在高中分道扬镳了 71 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:15,211 {\an8}‪所以在本跟希拉开始交往以后 ‪她的朋友们就变成了他的朋友 72 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:17,586 ‪很不幸的是 她的朋友很差劲 73 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,428 {\an8}‪曲线美这种东西一样算是身体羞辱 74 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:24,101 ‪像我们这种骨感女孩心里能好受吗? 75 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,600 ‪是啊 这样就更觉得自己太瘦了 76 00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:29,018 ‪嘿 希拉 期待今晚的比赛吗? 77 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,982 ‪我的天啊 亲爱的 我完全忘记这事了 78 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:34,232 ‪我跟佐伊约好了 ‪要去参加一个给眉毛定型的快闪 79 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:36,315 ‪可是你两个月前 ‪就答应去看快船队比赛了 80 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,241 ‪我们说好了啊 81 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,738 ‪你一定要今晚去做眉毛吗? 82 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,913 ‪天啊 你没看过我之前的色拉布吗? 83 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,240 ‪得美美地发到照片墙上 84 00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:48,294 ‪坐在NBA赛场边也很值得一拍啊 那… 85 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,001 ‪要是湖人队还好 86 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:54,001 ‪不过我的粉丝们可不想看 ‪比利克里斯托吃玉米片什么的 87 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:56,415 ‪快船队已经超过湖人多少年了 88 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,208 ‪算了 89 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,628 ‪你们有人想替希拉去吗? 90 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,006 ‪-不想 ‪-不想 91 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,012 ‪好的 92 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,640 ‪又一样?兄弟 93 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,305 ‪嘿 伙计们 你们好吗? 94 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,483 ‪我说 你们俩都是体育迷吧? 95 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,772 ‪想不想坐在场边看快船队比赛? 96 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,186 ‪我多出来一张票 97 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,694 ‪是跟你一起 还是自己坐? 98 00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:21,066 ‪不是 是跟我和我爸爸一起 99 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,704 ‪所以我们俩只能去一个?不能都去? 100 00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:25,201 ‪我都说了 只多了一张票 101 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,703 ‪那有点奇怪吧? 102 00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:29,454 ‪因为我们也算不上太熟 103 00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:31,457 ‪拜托 我们上幼儿园就认识了 104 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:34,209 ‪要是我们以前一起玩过啊 ‪打过球什么的 那样还成 105 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,502 ‪也许这就是个契机 106 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,050 ‪算了 你们就当我没问吧 107 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,340 ‪他可真奇怪 是吧? 108 00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:44,675 ‪是啊 兄弟 ‪他以前从来不跟我们说话的 109 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,431 ‪不过要是你不去 110 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,972 ‪那我们可以一起跟你爸爸去 111 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,307 ‪-我怎么没想到的? ‪-是吧 112 00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:54,352 ‪我也是突然想到的 ‪我可真是个小机灵鬼 113 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,016 ‪今天过得怎么样啊? 114 00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,856 ‪或者说说这半天也行? 115 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,281 ‪宝贝? 116 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,945 ‪-怎么了? ‪-乖乖照做就是了 很可爱的 117 00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,543 ‪笑笑 118 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:14,916 ‪好吧 119 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:19,665 ‪你长了个痘痘 120 00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,554 ‪用我帮你挤掉吗? 121 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:23,383 ‪不用了 122 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,257 ‪那好吧 123 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:28,431 ‪我拍下来没关系吧? 124 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,523 ‪-那个 我… ‪-笑一个 125 00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,556 ‪糟糕的是 希拉挤到一半的时候 ‪收到了一条短信 126 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,364 ‪本的脸被她弄得很难看 127 00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:39,268 ‪同学们 你们今天走大运了 128 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:42,687 ‪今天我们要当堂做一个化学实验 129 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,607 ‪我们一起来当绝命毒师吧 130 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:46,954 ‪怎么了 埃里克? 131 00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,162 ‪我能去趟医务室吗? 132 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,742 ‪我好像喝了坏掉的牛奶 133 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,537 ‪你怎么知道牛奶坏掉了 埃里克? 134 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:55,120 ‪因为它闻起来就怪怪的 135 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:58,333 ‪喝下去的时候就更怪了 136 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,498 ‪我第二杯都喝不下去了 137 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,876 ‪嘿 大卫 猜猜看今晚谁要被老爸 ‪带去看快船队的比赛了 138 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:04,915 ‪场边座位哦 139 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:08,511 ‪我正好还有一张多余的票 ‪如果某人愿意就核制裁的事情跟我… 140 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:10,684 ‪不要跟我说话 ‪看不出来我还生着气吗? 141 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,603 ‪没看出来 好吧 我就不明白了 142 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,272 ‪我干了什么糟心事了? 143 00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:15,310 ‪让我想想 144 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:18,313 ‪我也不知道 或许是因为 ‪你八卦我跟帕克斯顿上床吧 145 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,476 ‪现在他对我生上气了 146 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,274 ‪什么?他有什么可生气的? 147 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:22,527 ‪这不重要 148 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,358 ‪你以后不要八卦我的事情 149 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,324 ‪你还是接着去巴结老师吧 150 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:29,124 ‪安静 现在只有烧杯里的高锰酸钾 151 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:31,778 ‪有资格沸腾 152 00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:39,325 ‪帕洛马老师 你再不让我去医务室 153 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,997 ‪我就要变成那玩意了 求你了! 154 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,962 ‪德维为什么不想让大家知道 155 00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:46,126 ‪她吃到天鹅肉了呢? 156 00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:49,335 ‪在帕克斯顿霍尔吉田面前 ‪学校里的其他男生都是癞蛤蟆 157 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,177 ‪他四年级就长了腋毛 158 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:53,682 ‪难道是帕克斯顿 ‪跟德维说了什么不好的话吗? 159 00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:55,604 ‪本又为何要在意呢? 160 00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:56,733 ‪有什么事吗 兄弟? 161 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,265 ‪什么? 162 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,440 ‪你看着我干什么? 163 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,899 ‪-我没有 ‪-你有啊 你一直在盯着我 164 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,489 ‪没关系的 反正我也习惯了 165 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,659 ‪-我没有瞪…盯着你 ‪-那你在干什么? 166 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:12,737 ‪你喜欢快船队吗? 167 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,082 ‪什么? 168 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,499 ‪没什么 169 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,369 ‪算了 170 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:19,958 ‪哎呀呀! 171 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,841 ‪平时舌灿莲花的本格罗斯 ‪这次可真是逊毙了 172 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,629 ‪不过没关系 几个小时之后 173 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,842 ‪他跟他爸爸要看的那场比赛 ‪才是最重要的 174 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,673 ‪这场比赛绝对会非常精彩 175 00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:40,271 ‪嘿 伙计 对不起了 我今晚去不了了 176 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,863 ‪坎耶的这桩案子太棘手了 177 00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,109 ‪你和香农不用管我了 去看比赛吧 178 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,861 ‪在这里为他爸爸说一句 ‪坎耶的案子确实很棘手 179 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,034 ‪他想把“音乐”注册成商标 180 00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,452 ‪不过这可安慰不到本 181 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,241 ‪虽然他已经料到会发生这种事了 ‪不过还是很伤心 182 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,445 ‪这也太糟了 不能改天再谈吗? 183 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:02,625 ‪不愧是坎耶 我女朋友的名字是希拉 184 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,343 ‪好的 工作顺利 185 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:19,097 ‪-嘿 帕蒂 ‪-嘿 我可爱的小王子 186 00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:21,313 ‪我熨好了你看比赛要穿的袜子 187 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,564 ‪又舒服又暖和 188 00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,975 ‪其实我要做的作业有点多 189 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,774 ‪所以我不打算去了 190 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,315 ‪而且巧的是 191 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,941 ‪我爸爸正好也忙 192 00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:32,777 ‪可能我们家净出一些工作狂吧 193 00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:35,698 ‪要不就把这些票给你吧? 194 00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,453 ‪不如我们一起去? 195 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:40,575 ‪我可以带一袋冻葡萄过去 196 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,963 ‪不了 我还得写个东西 197 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,750 ‪还得做做实验…什么的 198 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,876 ‪那我也陪你 199 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:52,550 ‪我们可以搭一个枕头堡 ‪然后一起看恐怖的《怪物史莱克》 200 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:53,763 ‪没关系的 帕蒂 201 00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,643 ‪你带着儿子们去看吧 202 00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,643 ‪真是个好孩子 203 00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:03,015 ‪我会用身体接住加农炮里的T恤的 204 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,522 ‪到时候给你带回来作纪念 205 00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:05,902 ‪谢了 206 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:09,731 ‪你觉得比利克里斯托会去吗? 207 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,863 ‪我还是化一化妆吧 208 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,947 ‪话题 眼睫毛 话题 自我呵护 209 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,446 ‪话题 未来属于女性 210 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,415 ‪(比利送粉丝玉米片) 211 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,789 ‪比利克里斯托把玉米片 ‪分享给了旁边的球迷 212 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,417 ‪而她礼尚往来地 213 00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,713 ‪从包里掏出一袋冰葡萄送给了他 214 00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:35,717 ‪哇 果然连城里人都不会嫌弃 ‪比赛时的健康美味 215 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,891 ‪我认识她 她是我的女管家 216 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,260 ‪《当比利碰上帕蒂》 217 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:42,851 ‪你不是红迪《瑞克和莫蒂》 ‪版块上的那家伙吗? 218 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,559 ‪你住在洛杉矶? 219 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,017 ‪土生土长的洛杉矶人 哈哈 220 00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,691 ‪笑死了 我也是 221 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,573 ‪我在伯班克的北角披萨看比赛呢 222 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:52,901 ‪一起来吧 223 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,315 ‪我来了 兄弟 让我们嗨起来! 224 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:00,241 ‪(安达泰系统启动中…) 225 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,169 ‪本来到了北角披萨店 期待着能跟 226 00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:11,711 ‪同样热爱喜剧的某位同龄人 ‪一起打发时光 227 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,215 ‪你是爱莉奶大格兰德007? 228 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,335 ‪你好啊 爱莉奶大 229 00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:19,545 ‪是我 红迪的腌黄瓜瑞克69… 230 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,677 ‪你懂的 就那个整合链接的网站 231 00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:24,226 ‪好吧 这可不是什么同龄人 232 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,064 ‪你好 233 00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:28,603 ‪嘿 伙计 很高兴见到你 234 00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:30,977 ‪其实我的真名就叫瑞克 235 00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:33,525 ‪先坐下吧 吃块披萨 236 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:38,106 ‪我还是先不说真名了 237 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:41,117 ‪我没想到用户名里有“69”的 ‪岁数会这么大 238 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,450 ‪因为我真的是1969年出生的 239 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:46,081 ‪不过我的心态还是很年轻的 兄弟 ‪我超爱动画 240 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,669 ‪就像你一样 241 00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,418 ‪我很好奇我们会不会有其他共同点 242 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:50,580 ‪没准我们超合拍呢 243 00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,668 ‪我还是说实话吧 ‪这次见面太不靠谱了 244 00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:54,844 ‪我先撤了 245 00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:58,632 ‪好吧 我懂 ‪我是个50岁的塔扎纳保险理算师 246 00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:00,891 ‪可我还喜欢看《瑞克和莫蒂》 247 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,307 ‪我身边根本没人能跟我聊这个 248 00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:06,144 ‪我开玩笑说要给办公室里 ‪弄个使命必达先生 249 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,635 ‪我的同事们都像看傻子一样看我 250 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,856 ‪要是能有个懂我的人就好了 251 00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:16,071 ‪不过你要走也没关系 252 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:18,490 ‪本很奇怪地被打动了 253 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,281 ‪五十步还笑什么百步啊 254 00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,784 ‪他也一样很孤单 255 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,366 ‪而且瑞克和莫蒂本来也是忘年交 256 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,122 ‪不是照样玩得很愉快 257 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,576 ‪知道吗?你说得对 258 00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:30,674 ‪对不起 是我太无理了 259 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,750 ‪不过是两个粉丝一起吃吃披萨 ‪讨论讨论卡通而已 260 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:34,746 ‪没什么大问题 261 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:35,957 ‪是吧? 262 00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,916 ‪慢点 伙计 这披萨可烫了 263 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:39,427 ‪你还是先吹吹再吃吧 264 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,298 ‪慢点 265 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,098 ‪慢慢来 266 00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:47,354 ‪没错 就这样 267 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,270 ‪这可一点都不正常 本 268 00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:51,731 ‪他可不是单纯想 ‪跟你聊聊卡通 快跑! 269 00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:53,982 ‪-我还是先走了 ‪-拜托 伙计 270 00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:56,074 ‪是你做得太奇怪了 271 00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,533 ‪冲啊 快船队 272 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,413 ‪本是个适应力很强的孩子 273 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:11,075 ‪无论遭受什么挫折 ‪哪怕就像昨晚的那种情况 274 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,325 ‪他都能更坚强地恢复过来 275 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,995 ‪他把整个抽屉都拽出来了 276 00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:17,086 ‪没错 他还是很难过 277 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:31,142 ‪(化学测验100分) 278 00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:36,766 ‪(80分) 279 00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:40,816 ‪(大咪咪) 280 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,293 ‪你怎么回事? 281 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,699 ‪不好意思 是我看错了 282 00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:51,747 ‪我还以为你脸上那是蟑螂呢 283 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,541 ‪毕竟学校里到处都是 284 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:56,884 ‪不过你这个痘也太大了吧 285 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,091 ‪没事 没关系的 286 00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,590 ‪你还是去看看吧 287 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,422 ‪我听说如果痘长得太大 288 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:04,257 ‪会渗进脑子里的 会死人的 289 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,010 ‪好的 我会去看看的 290 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,965 ‪那就好 那你就没白挨这一巴掌 291 00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:09,465 ‪你听到了我的金玉良言 292 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,137 ‪好的 谢了 293 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,175 ‪不客气 294 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,232 ‪对了 快船队这次表现得真的不错 ‪是吧 兄弟 295 00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:17,232 ‪坐在场边肯定很爽吧 296 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,485 ‪本杰明 见到你很高兴 297 00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,196 ‪听说你的下巴上起痘痘了 298 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,874 ‪是啊 我一般不太长痘痘的 299 00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:32,452 ‪这可能是胡子毛发内生了吧 300 00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:35,043 ‪不 就是颗痘痘 301 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,634 ‪你也没怎么长胡子 302 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,839 ‪可能是因为我刮得太干净了 303 00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:40,341 ‪是啊 应该吧 304 00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:44,381 ‪我得给你打上一针可的松 305 00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:47,086 ‪其实我很想谢谢你的 本杰明 306 00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:49,307 ‪要不是你 德维才不会那么用功 307 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,558 ‪我也一样 308 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,890 ‪你们在学校争来斗去的事情 ‪我每天吃晚餐都能听到 309 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,857 ‪本格罗斯这次数学考了第一 ‪本格罗斯历史也考了第一 310 00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,068 ‪给我开点阿得拉 我要打败本格罗斯 311 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,399 ‪她还真是天天想着我 312 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,952 ‪等等 你们每晚都一起吃饭吗? 313 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,449 ‪当然了 我们是一家人 314 00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:07,784 ‪总而言之呢 315 00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,485 ‪你是个有前途的聪明孩子 316 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,156 ‪你的家长肯定很为你自豪吧 317 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,004 ‪在度过了凄惨的二十四小时后 318 00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:16,369 ‪这一根小小的稻草终于压倒了本 319 00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:17,877 ‪会稍微有一点疼 320 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,168 ‪好了 321 00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:25,094 ‪该死的 322 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:27,434 ‪我就知道我们不该买普通的麻醉霜 323 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,469 ‪以后还是买牌子货吧 324 00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:31,390 ‪你还好吗 亲爱的? 325 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:32,602 ‪我没事 326 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,095 ‪我只是…很久没跟别人吃过晚餐了 327 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,110 ‪可怜的小东西 328 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,030 ‪没事 其实我过得很好的 329 00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:47,396 ‪这眼泪真是来得莫名其妙 330 00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:52,334 ‪我可能是药物过敏了 331 00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:56,293 ‪或者…其他什么的 ‪这里面有蜂花粉吗? 332 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:57,872 ‪没有 333 00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:08,378 ‪还是只放一个辣椒吧 ‪不然辣过头就没味道了 334 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,137 ‪大家好啊 ‪今晚我们家来了位特别的客人 335 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:14,640 ‪卡玛拉 今晚的菜别做得太辣了 336 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,481 ‪不是吧 337 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:22,563 ‪本站在死对头的厨房里 ‪等待着那顿施舍来的晚餐 338 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,978 ‪他现在简直尴尬得要死 339 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,487 ‪你怎么能对人家那么无理? 340 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,359 ‪因为他太烦人了 341 00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:30,405 ‪整天在学校见到他都够烦的了 342 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,239 ‪现在居然还把他带到我们家里来 343 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,034 ‪所以 本 344 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,615 ‪你有什么兴趣爱好吗? 345 00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:39,206 ‪我其实很喜欢… 346 00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:41,789 ‪人家小伙子也是人 他很伤心 347 00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:43,625 ‪你知不知道今天他在我那都哭了? 348 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,551 ‪哭得简直要水漫金山了 349 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:47,760 ‪又不是我让他哭的! 350 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,680 ‪我们刚刚清理完通风管道 351 00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:52,088 ‪声音有点清晰过头了 352 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:54,887 ‪他家庭爱情双双受挫 353 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:58,142 ‪而且我当这么长时间医生 ‪头一次见到那么恶心的痘痘 354 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,100 ‪锅掉地上了 355 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,357 ‪还以为能多响一阵呢 356 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,729 ‪你以前天天抱怨我不让你朋友过来 357 00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:06,976 ‪本格罗斯跟我不是朋友 358 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,567 ‪怎么就不是? 359 00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:11,322 ‪他很有礼貌 人也聪明 ‪他这种看着就像是打小报告的 360 00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:12,565 ‪肯定也不会嗑药 361 00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:15,076 ‪你就不能忍一晚上吗? 362 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,291 ‪至少她夸你“又有礼貌又聪明”了 363 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:21,079 ‪这些可都是顶好的话 364 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,915 ‪她还说我长得像打小报告的 365 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,380 ‪这是好事 366 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,210 ‪警察也不是谁的话都信的 367 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:30,047 ‪本 欢迎你的到来 368 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:33,592 ‪这里可曾经是我躲避死对头的安乐窝 369 00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:36,007 ‪德维 你说过会好好表现的 370 00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,806 ‪我都欢迎他了啊 371 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,980 ‪如果你还想在家里玩手机 372 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,809 ‪就给我好好的 373 00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:45,308 ‪好了 来讲讲今天学到的一点知识吧 374 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,357 ‪好的 375 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,570 ‪我今天学了正切值 376 00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:51,610 ‪等于正弦值除以余弦值 满意了吗? 377 00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:52,565 ‪很好 378 00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:55,664 ‪今天我学到了 ‪如果你把钱包落在了杂货店 379 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,741 ‪收银员会帮你把钱付掉的 380 00:17:57,826 --> 00:18:00,496 ‪还会因为担心你不能安全到家 ‪把手机号码给你 381 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:05,000 ‪本杰明 我听说你也去戴维斯参加了 ‪那个举办得特别突然的模拟联合国 382 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,964 ‪也没那么“突然” 383 00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:09,247 ‪有的人准备了好几个月呢 384 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:13,428 ‪不过即使德维什么都没准备 ‪她还是大受欢迎 385 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,636 ‪-真的吗?为什么? ‪-没有为什么 386 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,430 ‪现在简直是完美的复仇时刻 387 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:20,425 ‪开始吧 388 00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,476 ‪你也知道德维多像个小炮仗 389 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,400 ‪天啊 她干什么了? 390 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,357 ‪不过…他决定放她一马 391 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,282 ‪没什么 392 00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:35,155 ‪她是个满腔赤诚的赤道新几内亚代表 393 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:38,829 ‪不是谁都能像她一样 ‪在新手时期就能有如此反响的 394 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,543 ‪她赢得非常彻底 395 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:46,495 ‪德维 看来你很有外交风范啊 396 00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:47,713 ‪真有你的 397 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,553 ‪我以前上学的时候 唯一的课外活动 398 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,509 ‪就是给我年迈的祖母洗澡 399 00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,169 ‪她每次都要反抗 400 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,798 ‪-真的假的? ‪-‪不是吧 401 00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:58,644 ‪本都不记得 ‪上次一家人一起吃晚餐是什么时候了 402 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,140 ‪好像是2018年5月 ‪他爸爸飞公告牌音乐奖的航班 403 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:02,933 ‪被取消的那次 404 00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:06,396 ‪尽管这顿家庭晚餐 ‪充斥着羞辱、争吵与威胁 405 00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:08,518 ‪而且吃得还特别辣 406 00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:10,265 ‪不过它依然是家庭晚餐 407 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,278 ‪这感觉真是太棒了 408 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:22,792 ‪嘿 409 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,416 ‪谢谢你没把模拟联合国的事说穿 410 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:29,167 ‪最近我对你确实很差劲 所以… 411 00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:31,383 ‪就算你报复我 也是我活该 412 00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:35,091 ‪有些时候拉人下水确实很爽 413 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,884 ‪但是今天我没兴致 414 00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:38,764 ‪你怎么了? 415 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,804 ‪你在我妈妈办公室哭什么? 416 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,268 ‪是因为你脸上那个大疙瘩吗? 417 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:46,848 ‪那算不上什么 我只是有点…难过 418 00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:48,595 ‪为什么?你家佣人辞职了? 419 00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,984 ‪嘿 我在卖惨呢 ‪而且我们现在也不说佣人这个词了 420 00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:54,475 ‪-我们管他们叫管家 ‪-好吧 抱歉 421 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:58,196 ‪那你为什么不开心? 422 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:00,780 ‪我也不知道 423 00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:05,157 ‪有时候我感觉自己就像是NBA球星 424 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:08,833 ‪可是不管我进多少球 ‪我爸爸都不会看我一眼 425 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:11,286 ‪我的女朋友跟我在一起也是为了钱 426 00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:15,047 ‪你这比喻也太不考虑我的实际了 427 00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:17,880 ‪你拿名人八卦和油管上的 ‪毕业舞会邀请打比喻还差不多 428 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,757 ‪不过我大概理解你的意思了 429 00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:23,814 ‪我还把你跟帕克斯顿的关系搞砸了 ‪对不起了 430 00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:25,354 ‪那不怪你 431 00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:28,392 ‪可是我要是不那么三八 ‪或许你们两个还有机会在一起 432 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,685 ‪我没跟他上过床 433 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:33,321 ‪什么? 434 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,232 ‪我没跟帕克斯顿上过床 435 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,526 ‪我只是让大家都信了 436 00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:42,777 ‪所以他是气你撒了谎 437 00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,945 ‪这就有道理了 438 00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,159 ‪其实我们差一点就勾搭上了 439 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,616 ‪也就差没接吻了 440 00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,085 ‪他脱掉了衣服 然后我就吓坏了 441 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,666 ‪-我知道 我太悲催 ‪-你觉得你悲催? 442 00:20:57,422 --> 00:21:00,632 ‪昨天我寂寞到 ‪差点上了一个中年男人的钩 443 00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:03,677 ‪本 你不用特地编这种事情来哄我 444 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:04,602 ‪是真的 445 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,310 ‪他50岁了 在塔扎纳干保险理算 446 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,061 ‪他让我吹披萨来着 447 00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:11,272 ‪-不是吧 ‪-是啊 简直糟透了 448 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:14,483 ‪我从来不把艾美奖杯轻易示人 ‪本也一样 449 00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:15,694 ‪他总是把悲伤深埋于心 450 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:17,734 ‪我则把我的奖杯 ‪和《垃圾桶男孩》卡片 451 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:18,898 ‪深埋在了地下 452 00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:21,946 ‪不过一通宣泄之后 ‪本确实感觉好一点了 453 00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:23,700 ‪他又能迎接新的一天了 454 00:21:25,909 --> 00:21:27,369 ‪把你的自动铅笔给我 455 00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,452 ‪这样拍照才显得聪明 456 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,419 ‪好的 给 457 00:21:36,169 --> 00:21:37,669 ‪(德维转账五美元给你) 458 00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:40,424 ‪这样就不用再跟着恋童癖蹭吃蹭喝了 459 00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:45,967 ‪虽然在表面上一切还跟往常一样 460 00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:49,064 ‪不过今天的本并没有以前那么孤单了 461 00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:51,561 ‪总之以上就是 462 00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,273 ‪本、德维 463 00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:55,443 ‪和谢尔曼奧克斯的部分 464 00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:56,692 ‪我是安迪萨姆伯格 465 00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:58,483 ‪麦肯罗 接下来你继续 466 00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:49,907 ‪字幕翻译:张佳宝