1 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,428 [man] This is Ben Gross. 2 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,223 He's a 15-year-old boy from Sherman Oaks, California, 3 00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:18,807 and I am American actor, producer, writer, 4 00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:20,853 and fake rapper Andy Samberg. 5 00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:24,147 What can I say? I wear a lot of hats. Now, you may be asking yourself, 6 00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:27,612 "Why is Andy Samberg narrating the story of this particular boy?" 7 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,454 Well, honestly, his dad's my lawyer, and I owe him a favor, 8 00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:34,447 but Ben seems like a good kid, so, happy to do it. 9 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,244 Fresh off a successful wine heist 10 00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,617 where his greatest nemesis became an unexpected ally, 11 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,710 Ben felt on top of the world, 12 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,630 or at least on top of Model UN 13 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,249 where in just a few hours, the highly coveted golden gavel 14 00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:48,296 would be safely tucked away in his weird little briefcase. 15 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,971 Equatorial Guinea would like to formally request permission 16 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,091 to nuke the United States. 17 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,887 [Samberg] Unfortunately, for Ben, however, 18 00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,970 his new ally decided to go back to being his old nemesis. 19 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:57,927 What the hell, Devi? 20 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:03,148 ♪ If you want to dance Let it take precedence ♪ 21 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:06,649 -[siren wailing] -♪ 'Cause the floor is watching you ♪ 22 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,073 ♪ Ooh ♪ 23 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:12,360 ♪ Ah, ah... ♪ 24 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,447 What? 25 00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:15,491 Nothing. You're the one who's looking at me. 26 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:20,373 [Samberg] Had Ben imagined the nice conversation they had last night? 27 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:23,035 Had he said something weird while he was drunk on grigio? 28 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,836 And to make matters worse, it was a six-hour drive, 29 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,089 and Ben realized he left his AirPods back in the hotel room. 30 00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,172 Hello. 31 00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:32,675 Looks like you could use a seat buddy. 32 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,675 Egg salad? I've got extra spoons. 33 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:37,973 No, thank you. 34 00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:43,387 {\an8}♪ Got my belt on tight And the feeling's right ♪ 35 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:46,768 {\an8}♪ Wanna walk right up to you ♪ 36 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,244 Hey, sweetie. No time to talk. 37 00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:54,239 I'm going to a self-actualization retreat in Santa Barbara. 38 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,116 Didn't you just do that? 39 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:59,289 {\an8}No, I went to a mindfulness workshop in Santa Clara. 40 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,331 {\an8}Very different philosophies, but equally important. 41 00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:04,872 {\an8}Okay, sure. Uh, have fun. 42 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,918 {\an8}It's not fun, Ben, it's work... 43 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,457 {\an8}on me... 44 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,795 {\an8}so I can be a better mom to you. 45 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:11,920 {\an8}Gotta run. 46 00:02:12,423 --> 00:02:14,633 {\an8}Oh! You know what? I almost forgot. 47 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,387 {\an8}You had a big debate tournament. 48 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:17,469 {\an8}Did you get an A? 49 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,064 Actually, it was Model U-- 50 00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:22,635 {\an8}Yeah. Yeah, it was great. 51 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:23,845 {\an8}Well, good work. 52 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:27,015 {\an8}When I get back, let's celebrate with a mother-son sound bath. 53 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:28,612 {\an8}I love you. 54 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,435 [door closes] 55 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:32,992 {\an8}Love you too. 56 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:36,278 {\an8}[Samberg] Ben's mom and dad had a very unique parenting style 57 00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:37,994 {\an8}in that they did none of it. 58 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:40,664 {\an8}So, contrary to his loud, brash school persona, 59 00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:43,663 {\an8}at home he was just another quiet, lonely kid. 60 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:46,996 [Ben] David S. Pumpkins and his Beat Boy Skeletons. LOL. 61 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,416 ♪ Just moving in the dark ♪ 62 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:54,592 ♪ Cigarettes on the dresser ♪ 63 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,140 ♪ Juliana's sleeping ♪ 64 00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:01,759 {\an8}♪ And it feels like forever... ♪ 65 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:04,233 Ooh! [giggling] 66 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,395 [Ben] Hey, can we please stop posting lame upvote-thirsty memes 67 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:11,689 and get back to discussing actual worthwhile Rick and Morty theories? 68 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:13,938 [Rick] That's the problem when subs get too big. 69 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,647 They become as unruly as the Council of Ricks. 70 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,238 ♪ Now you know ♪ 71 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,158 {\an8}♪ This is the last one ♪ 72 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,083 {\an8}♪ Now you know ♪ 73 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:29,383 {\an8}♪ This is the last one ♪ 74 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,087 {\an8}♪ For a while ♪ 75 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,300 [phone chimes] 76 00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:42,259 [Ben] Hey, Dad. All the blogs are saying that Kawhi's looking strong for tomorrow. 77 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:45,227 ♪ 'Cause this will be the last one... ♪ 78 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:49,522 [Ben's dad] Fantastic. Sounds like we're in for a hell of a game, buddy. 79 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,944 ♪ ...laugh all the way ♪ 80 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:55,192 ♪ Now you know ♪ 81 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:58,244 ♪ This is the last day... ♪ 82 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,987 [Samberg] As friends go, up through middle school, 83 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,164 Ben had two solid ride-or-dies. 84 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,003 {\an8}There was Brian Lakestone, who got dropped off at school on a motorcycle, 85 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,369 {\an8}and Garret Von Kaenel, 86 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,365 {\an8}who could burp the theme song to Game of Thrones. 87 00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:11,167 {\an8}But both ended up at different high schools, 88 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:15,211 {\an8}so as soon as Ben started dating Shira, her friends became his friends. 89 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:17,586 {\an8}Unfortunately, her friends stunk. 90 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,428 {\an8}It's also body shaming when people say curvy is beautiful. 91 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:24,011 Because how's that supposed to make us size zeros feel? 92 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,597 Yeah. I mean I even feel that way as a double zero. 93 00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:28,938 Hey, Shirs. Excited for the game tonight? 94 00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:30,978 Oh, my God. Sweetie, I totally forgot. 95 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:34,232 I told Zoe I'd go with her to a brow sculpting pop-up. 96 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:36,315 But you told me you'd go to the Clippers game, 97 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,241 like, two months ago. 98 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,738 Do you have to get your brow sculpted tonight? 99 00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:41,911 Oh, my God. Did you not see my Snapchat? 100 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,240 It'll be good for my Insta. 101 00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:48,294 Well, sitting courtside at an NBA game is also pretty Gram-worthy, so... 102 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,001 Maybe if it were a Lakers game, 103 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:54,001 but my followers don't want to see Billy Crystal eating nachos or whatever. 104 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:56,835 The Clippers have been better than the Lakers for years. 105 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,208 Never mind. 106 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,628 Anybody else want Shira's ticket? 107 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,006 -No. -No. 108 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,012 Awesome. 109 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,048 [girls chuckle] 110 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,013 Oh! 111 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,640 Again? Dude. 112 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,225 Hey, guys. How's it going? 113 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,480 So, uh, listen, you two are into sports, right? 114 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,862 Either of you wanna sit courtside at the Clippers game tonight? 115 00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,189 I have an extra ticket. 116 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,694 To go with you, or to just, like, sit alone? 117 00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:21,066 No. You'd go with me and my dad. 118 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,704 So, like, only one of us could go? We couldn't both go? 119 00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:25,201 Like I said, it's a single ticket. 120 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,703 But wouldn't that be weird? 121 00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:29,454 'Cause, like, we're not really friends with you. 122 00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:31,457 Come on. I mean I've known you since kindergarten. 123 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:34,209 Maybe if we'd all hung out before. Worked up to the game. 124 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,502 I thought maybe this would be that bridge. 125 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:40,053 But... yeah, never mind. Forget about it. 126 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,340 [Trent] That was weird, right? 127 00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:44,675 [Marcus] Yeah, bro. He never talks to us. 128 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,431 Oh, but if you don't go, 129 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,972 we'll just take two of the tickets and go with your dad. 130 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,307 -Why didn't I think of that? -I know. 131 00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:54,352 I was so proud when I thought of that idea in this moment. 132 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,016 So, uh, how was your day? 133 00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,856 Or the first half of it at least. 134 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,281 Babe? 135 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,945 -What-- What's happening? -Just do it. It's cute. 136 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:09,951 -Mmm. -[forced chuckle] 137 00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,543 Be smilier. 138 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,919 Oh, uh, okay. [chuckles] 139 00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:16,669 -[camera clicks] -[giggles] 140 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,668 Ew. You have a zit. 141 00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,554 Do you want me to pop that for you? 142 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:23,383 I don't want that. 143 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:24,626 Mmm. 144 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,257 Okay, fine. 145 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:28,431 It's okay if I film it, right? 146 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,933 -Well, I-- -Smile. 147 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,176 -Ooh. -Aah! 148 00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,556 [Samberg] Unfortunately, Shira had gotten a text mid pop 149 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,364 and had left Ben Gross's face looking pretty gross. 150 00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:39,268 [teacher] Guess what, guys? You're in luck. 151 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:42,687 Today we're doing a real live chemistry experiment. 152 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,607 We're gonna be breaking good. 153 00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:45,697 [chuckles] 154 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:46,954 What is it, Eric? 155 00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,162 Can I go to the nurse's office? 156 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,742 I think I drank some bad milk. 157 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,537 How do you know it was bad milk, Eric? 158 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:55,120 Well, when I smelled it, it smelled bad, 159 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:58,333 and then when I was drinking it, it got way worse. 160 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,498 I could barely finish my second glass. 161 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,966 David, guess whose dad is taking them to the Clippers game tonight? 162 00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:05,258 Courtside seats. 163 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:08,511 You know, I have an extra ticket, but only for someone who apologizes for nuking-- 164 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:10,684 Stop talking to me. Don't you get that I'm mad at you? 165 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,603 No. Okay, I don't get it. 166 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,272 What did I even do that was so terrible?  167 00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:15,310 Let's see. 168 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:18,273 I don't know. Maybe you running your mouth about me sleeping with Paxton. 169 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:19,484 Now he's pissed at me. 170 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:22,534 -What? Why would that make him pissed? -It doesn't matter. 171 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,358 Just keep your nose out of my business 172 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,324 and up the teacher's butt where it usually is. 173 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:29,124 [teacher] Quiet please. No one should be boiling over 174 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:31,778 except this beaker of potassium permanganate. 175 00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:39,325 Mrs. Paloma, that's gonna be me 176 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,997 if I can't go to the nurse's office. Please! 177 00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,086 [Samberg] Why wouldn't Devi want everyone to know 178 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,132 she was hooking up with someone out of her league? 179 00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:49,335 Paxton Hall-Yoshida made every other dude in school feel bad about himself. 180 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,177 He'd gotten pit hair in fourth grade! 181 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:53,682 Had Paxton said or done something to hurt Devi? 182 00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:55,604 And why did Ben even care? 183 00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:56,733 You need something, bro? 184 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,265 What? 185 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,440 Why are you looking at me? 186 00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:03,901 -Well-- [scoffs] I wasn't. -Yeah, you were. You were staring at me. 187 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,489 It's okay. Happens to me a lot. 188 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,659 -What-- I wasn't stirring... staring. -Then what were you doing? 189 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,119 Um... 190 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,741 Do you like the Clippers? 191 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,082 What? 192 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,499 Nothing. 193 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,374 Forget about it. [chuckles] 194 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:19,958 [Samberg] Yikes! 195 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,841 The usually slick-talking Ben Gross was for real off his game. 196 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,629 But no worries, the only game that mattered 197 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,842 was the one he was seeing with his dad in a few hours, 198 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,973 and that was gonna be awesome. 199 00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,306 [phone chimes] 200 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:40,266 [Ben's dad] Hey, buddy. I'm so sorry. I don't think I'm gonna make it tonight. 201 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,863 This Kanye deal is really complicated. 202 00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,109 You and Shannon should go to the game without me. 203 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,861 [Samberg] In his dad's defense, Kanye's deal was complicated. 204 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,034 He wanted to trademark the word "music." 205 00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,452 But that didn't matter to Ben, 206 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,241 who was surprisingly sad for someone who should have seen this coming. 207 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,445 [Ben] That sucks. Can you reschedule? 208 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:02,625 Typical. And her name is Shira. 209 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,343 We will. Good luck with work. 210 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:10,929 [phone chimes] 211 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:19,097 -Hey, Patty. -Oh! Yes, my sweet prince. 212 00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:21,313 Oh! I just ironed your socks for the big game. 213 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,564 Nice and warm. 214 00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,975 Actually, I just realized that I got a lot of homework to do, 215 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,774 so I don't think I'm gonna go to the game. 216 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,315 And on an unrelated note, 217 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,941 my dad also has too much work to do. 218 00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:32,777 So I guess being a workaholic runs in the family. 219 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:37,446 -[laughs] Anyway, do you want the tickets? -Why don't we go together? 220 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:40,575 I can bring a Ziploc bag with frozen grapes in it, huh? 221 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,963 Nah. I gotta write a thing, 222 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,750 and, uh, do some, uh... some-- some science and other stuff. 223 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,876 Then I will stay here with you. 224 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,545 Why don't we build a pillow fort, and watch a scary movie like Shrek? 225 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:53,763 It's okay, Patty. 226 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,642 You should just go to the game. Take your sons. 227 00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:57,811 Oh. 228 00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,523 You're a sweet boy. 229 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,020 I will place my body in front of t-shirt cannon 230 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,522 to bring you home souvenir. 231 00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:05,902 Thanks. 232 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,060 [exhales heavily] 233 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:09,731 Do you think Billy Crystal will be there? 234 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,863 I better go put on makeup. 235 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,947 [Shira] #eyebrows #selfcare 236 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,446 #thefutureisfemale 237 00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:22,709 [phone dings] 238 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,789 [announcer] Billy Crystal sharing nachos with his neighbor, 239 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,417 and she seems to be reciprocating 240 00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,713 with a bag of frozen grapes from her purse. 241 00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:35,717 Wow. Even a city slicker can't resist a healthy game-time treat. 242 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,891 [Ben] I know her. That's my housekeeper. 243 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,260 When Billy met Patty. 244 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:42,851 [Rick] Hey, aren't you on the Rick and Morty subreddit? 245 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,559 You live in LA? 246 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,017 [Ben] Born and raised. LOL. 247 00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,691 [Rick] LMAO. Same. 248 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,573 Yo, I'm hitting up North End Pizza in Burbank to watch the game 249 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:52,901 if you want to come through. 250 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,315 [Ben] I'm there, dude. Let's get schwifty. 251 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,169 [Samberg] Ben entered North End Pizza excited at the prospect 252 00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:11,711 of hanging with another teenage comedy fan. 253 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,215 AreolaGrande007? 254 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,335 Areola. Hey. 255 00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:19,545 It's me, TheRealPickleRick69... from Reddit... 256 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,677 you know, the link aggregator. 257 00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:24,226 [Ben] Okay. That is not a teenager. 258 00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:26,058 Uh... Hi. 259 00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:29,023 Hey, man. It is so great to meet ya. [chuckles] 260 00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:30,976 Oh, my name actually is Rick. 261 00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:33,525 Sit down. Get your slice on. 262 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:38,109 Uh... Yeah, I'm gonna withhold my name for a moment. [chuckles] 263 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:41,117 Really thought you were gonna be younger. Your username has a 69 in it. 264 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,450 Oh, that's because I was born in 1969. 265 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,041 But I'm young at heart, fam. 266 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,251 I watch mad cartoons. Just like you. 267 00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:49,421 Oh, I wonder what else we have in common. 268 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:50,580 Probably a lot. 269 00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:53,671 I gotta be honest, this setup feels sort of sketchy to me, 270 00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:54,844 so I'm gonna go. 271 00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:58,632 Look, I get it. I'm a 50-year-old insurance adjuster from Tarzana. 272 00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:00,886 But I'm also a Rick and Morty fan, 273 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:03,473 and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. 274 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,136 I joked about getting a Mr. Meeseeks for the office, 275 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,635 and my co-workers looked at me like I was a total Jerry. 276 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:13,111 It'd just be nice to talk to someone who gets me, 277 00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:16,071 but I understand if you want to go. 278 00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:18,485 [Samberg] Ben found himself strangely moved. 279 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,281 I mean, who was he to judge this guy? 280 00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,784 He was just as lonely, 281 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,366 and honestly, Rick and Morty themselves have a huge age gap, 282 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,452 -and look at the fun they have. -[sighs] 283 00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:28,624 You know what? You're right. 284 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,666 I'm sorry if I was being rude. 285 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,750 We're just two fans eating pizza and talking about cartoons. 286 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,956 -It's totally normal. -I know, right? 287 00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,916 Oh, careful, buddy. That pizza is hot. 288 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:39,427 You might want to blow on it first. 289 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:42,716 Slower. 290 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,098 Slower. 291 00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:47,354 Yeah, that's it. 292 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,387 [Samberg] Yeah, that's not normal. 293 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,597 He doesn't want to just talk toons. Get out of there! 294 00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:53,977 -Yeah, I'm definitely gonna go. -Oh, come on, man. 295 00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:56,074 It's not weird unless you make it weird. 296 00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:00,534 [mumbles] Let's go, Clippers. 297 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,411 Oof! Ooh! 298 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:04,991 [upbeat music] 299 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,413 [Samberg] Ben was a resilient kid. 300 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:11,075 Whenever he experienced a setback, and last night was a real doozy, 301 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,325 he always bounced back stronger than before. 302 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,754 Whoops! He pulled his drawer out. 303 00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:17,506 -[growls] -Yeah, he's sad. 304 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:22,426 ♪ We break hearts like bones And take the Tyrone ♪ 305 00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:25,176 -♪ We want everything... ♪ -[girls giggling] 306 00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:30,644 ♪ Are made of the same stuff The fire we're made of ♪ 307 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:34,687 ♪ We're never in love ♪ 308 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:38,979 ♪ Enough as the cows Come drink me all out ♪ 309 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:42,148 ♪ Get drunk on my wine ♪ 310 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,621 ♪ For kicks and for pleasure... ♪ 311 00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:46,699 Whoa! 312 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:48,291 Oh! What the hell? 313 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,699 Oh, no. My bad. 314 00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:51,747 I thought there was like a roach on your face, man. 315 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,541 'Cause there's mad roaches in this school. 316 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:56,884 But it's just like a huge zit. 317 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,091 Yeah, it's cool. 318 00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,590 You should get that looked at. 319 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,422 I heard that if a zit gets too big, 320 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:04,257 it can, like, leak into your brain and kill you. 321 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,010 Yeah, sure. I'll do that. 322 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,965 All right. I guess it's good that I slapped you 323 00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:09,465 so I can give you this helpful info. 324 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,137 Sure. Thank you. 325 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,175 You're welcome. 326 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,152 Oh, wait. That Clippers game was valid, brah. 327 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:17,229 It must've been tight to sit courtside. 328 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:22,863 [door opens] 329 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,485 Benjamin, so good to see you. 330 00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,196 I heard we had an uninvited guest on your chin. 331 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,874 Yeah, I don't normally get zits. 332 00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:32,452 I guess this one's probably just an ingrown hair from my beard. 333 00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:35,043 No. It looks like a normal pimple. 334 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,634 I actually don't see much of a beard. 335 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,839 Well, I'm pretty good shaving. So that's probably why. 336 00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:40,341 Yes, I'm sure. 337 00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:44,381 I am going to prepare a cortisone shot for you. 338 00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:47,086 You know, Benjamin, I really have to thank you. 339 00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:49,307 You keep my Devi on her toes. 340 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,558 -Well, she keeps me on my toes too. -[chuckles] 341 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,890 Every night at dinner, I have to hear about this rivalry of yours. 342 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,857 "Ben Gross aced a math test. Ben Gross aced a history test. 343 00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,068 Prescribe me Adderall so I can beat Ben Gross." 344 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,399 She's obsessed with me. 345 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,952 Wait. You guys have dinner together every night? 346 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,449 Of course. We're family. 347 00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:07,784 All that to say, 348 00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,485 you're a very smart boy with a very bright future. 349 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,156 Your parents must be so proud. 350 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,004 [Samberg] After a pretty bleak 24 hours, 351 00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:16,369 this small platitude was more than Ben could handle. 352 00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:17,877 Here comes a little pinch. 353 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,168 There we go. 354 00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:25,094 Dammit. 355 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:27,434 I knew we shouldn't have bought generic numbing cream. 356 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,469 From now on, name brand only. 357 00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:31,390 Are you okay, sweetie? 358 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:32,972 [voice breaks] I'm fine. Uh... 359 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,095 I just... I haven't eaten dinner with anyone in a long time. 360 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,110 Oh, you poor thing. 361 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,030 I'm fine. You know, my life is totally awesome. 362 00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:48,196 [stammers] I don't even know why I cried. Uh... 363 00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:52,334 Oh, maybe I was allergic to the shot. 364 00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:56,293 Or, uh... Or something. Was there bee pollen in it? 365 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:57,872 There was not. 366 00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,747 [chuckles, whimpers] 367 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,173 [upbeat music] 368 00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:08,383 I like to put just one chili. Otherwise, it kind of overpowers the taste. 369 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,137 Everybody, we have a very special guest for dinner tonight. 370 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:14,640 Kamala, please lower the spice level accordingly. 371 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,481 Oh, hell no. 372 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,113 [Samberg] As he stood in his sworn enemy's kitchen 373 00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,558 awaiting the pity dinner to come, 374 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,978 Ben's embarrassment had reached a fever pitch. 375 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,067 [Nalini] How can you be so rude to that boy? 376 00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:28,362 [Devi] Because he sucks. 377 00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:30,405 It's bad enough I have see him every day at school. 378 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,239 Now we're just letting him into our home? 379 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,034 So, Ben... 380 00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:36,623 what are you hobbies and interests? 381 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,834 [stammers] Oh, well, I really am into-- 382 00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:41,884 [Nalini] That young man is a human being, and he's very sad. 383 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,539 Do you know he cried in my office today? 384 00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:46,547 So many tears, I had to wipe down the chair after he left. 385 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:47,760 [Devi] That's not my problem! 386 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,680 We just had the vents cleaned. 387 00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:52,088 It's crazy how well the sound carries. 388 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,007 [Nalini] He's going through a hard time with his family and girlfriend, 389 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:58,137 and he had one of the nastiest pimples I've ever seen in my career. 390 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:01,097 -[pan clatters] -Oops! Dropped my pan. 391 00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:03,355 I thought that would be loud for longer. 392 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,819 [Nalini] You complain you want your friends to come over more. 393 00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:08,569 -[Devi] Ben Gross is not my friend. -[Nalini] Why not? 394 00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:11,322 He is nice, and smart, and he could never buy drugs 395 00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:12,565 because he looks like a narc. 396 00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:15,076 Can't you be polite for just one evening? 397 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,291 At least she said "nice" and "smart." 398 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:21,076 Those are some of the best adjectives there are. 399 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,915 She also called me a narc. 400 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,420 You should be proud of that. 401 00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,211 The police won't work with just anyone. 402 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:30,047 Ben, it's so good to have you in my home, 403 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:33,592 a place I usually consider a safe haven from my nemeses. 404 00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:36,007 Devi, you promised you'd be polite. 405 00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,806 I said it was good to have him in our home. 406 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,810 If you want to stay on the family cell phone plan, 407 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,812 you're going to have to be better behaved than that. 408 00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:45,308 Now, why don't you tell us one thing you learned today at school. 409 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,357 Fine. 410 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,570 I learned that the tangent of theta 411 00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:51,610 is equal to the sine of theta divided by the cosine of theta. Happy? 412 00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:52,565 Extremely. 413 00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:55,664 Today I learned that if you forget your wallet at the grocery store, 414 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,741 the cashier will pay for your items personally, 415 00:17:57,826 --> 00:18:00,496 and even give you his phone number to make sure you get home okay. 416 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:05,000 Benjamin, I hear you were on that last-minute Model UN trip to Davis. 417 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,964 Oh, it wasn't so last-minute for everyone. 418 00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:09,254 Some of us spent months preparing for that trip. 419 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:13,428 But Devi came in with no preparation and still became the talk of the weekend. 420 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,719 Oh. Really? Why was that? 421 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:16,643 No reason. 422 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,520 [Samberg] If there had ever been a perfect opportunity to nuke Devi back, 423 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:20,428 this was it. 424 00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,476 Well, you know Devi. She's a real firecracker. 425 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,400 Oh, no. What did she do? 426 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,357 [Samberg] Instead, he decided to stand down. 427 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,282 Nothing bad. 428 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:35,164 She just brought a lot of passion to her role as Equatorial Guinea. 429 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:38,829 I mean, as a first timer, I don't think anyone's ever made such a big impact. 430 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,543 She, uh, truly obliterated the competition. 431 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:46,501 Mmm, Devi, sounds like you are quite the little diplomat. 432 00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:47,713 Good for you. 433 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,553 You know, when I was in school, my only extracurricular activity 434 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,509 was bathing my senile grandmother. 435 00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,169 She fought me every time. 436 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,798 -[laughing] Really? -What? No. 437 00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:58,644 [Samberg] Ben couldn't remember the last family dinner he'd had. 438 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,140 Probably May 2018, when his dad's flight 439 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:02,933 to the Billboard Music Awards got canceled. 440 00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:06,396 And even though this family dinner featured humiliation, bickering, threats, 441 00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:08,518 and food that was far too spicy, 442 00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:10,265 it was still a family dinner. 443 00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:12,277 And that was pretty cool. 444 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:22,792 Hey. 445 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:23,910 Um... 446 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,416 Thanks for not ratting me out about Model UN. 447 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:29,167 I've kinda been a dick to you lately, so... 448 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:31,381 I honestly would've deserved it. 449 00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:35,091 Yeah, well, sometimes it's fun to make other people's days as shitty as yours, 450 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,884 but today I didn't have it in me. 451 00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:38,764 What happened to you? 452 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,804 And why did you cry at my mom's office? 453 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,268 Was it just about the giant herpe on your face? 454 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:46,848 It wasn't a big deal. I was... kinda feeling bummed. 455 00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:48,595 Why? Did you butler quit? 456 00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,984 Hey, I'm trying to be vulnerable here. Also, we don't have butlers anymore. 457 00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:54,475 -We call them house managers now. -Okay, okay. Sorry. 458 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:58,196 Why are you feeling bummed? 459 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:00,780 I don't know. 460 00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:05,157 I guess sometimes I feel like I'm an NBA player, but... 461 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:08,833 no matter how many points I score, my dad always ignores me, 462 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:11,286 and my girlfriend only likes me for my money. 463 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:15,092 I wish your metaphor had been something more in my wheelhouse, 464 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,882 like celebrity gossip or YouTube promposals, 465 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,757 but I think I understand what you're getting at. 466 00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:23,814 Also, I'm sorry if I messed things up for you and Paxton. 467 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,349 Oh, you didn't. 468 00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:28,642 Well, maybe if I kept my mouth shut, then you guys would've had a chance. 469 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,685 I never had sex with Paxton. 470 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:33,321 What? 471 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,232 I never had sex with Paxton. 472 00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,652 I just let everyone believe that I did. 473 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:42,780 Oh! So he's mad at you for lying about having sex with him. 474 00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,945 That makes way more sense. 475 00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,159 I mean, we got close to hooking up. 476 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,616 Well, as close as you can get without kissing. 477 00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,091 He took off his shirt, and I freaked out. 478 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,666 -I know. I'm a loser. -Oh, you think you're a loser? 479 00:20:57,422 --> 00:21:00,632 I was so lonely, I got catfished by a middle-aged man yesterday. 480 00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:03,677 Ben, you don't have to make up something sadder to make me feel better. 481 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:04,602 For real. 482 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,310 He was a 50-year-old insurance adjuster from Tarzana, 483 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,061 and he asked me to blow on some pizza. 484 00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:11,272 -No. -Yes. It was messed up. 485 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:14,483 [Samberg] Ben guarded his sadness the same way I guard my Emmy award, 486 00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:15,734 by burying it deep. 487 00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:17,776 I put all of my awards in an underground bunker 488 00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:18,899 with my Garbage Pail Kids, 489 00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:21,946 but letting it all hang out there left Ben feeling a little lighter 490 00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:23,120 and ready to face a new day. 491 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:27,374 Give me your mechanical pencil. 492 00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,452 I need more photos of me looking smart. 493 00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:31,418 Oh. Sure. Yeah. 494 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:34,999 [phone dings] 495 00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:40,634 [Devi] So you never have to accept food from a pedo again. 496 00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:45,968 [Samberg] Although on the surface it didn't seem like much had changed, 497 00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:49,064 today was the least lonely Ben had felt in a long time. 498 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,638 Anyways, that about does it for me. 499 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,267 On behalf of Ben, Devi, 500 00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:55,443 and the whole gang at Sherman Oaks High School, 501 00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:56,692 I'm Andy Samberg. 502 00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:58,483 McEnroe, back to you. 503 00:21:58,942 --> 00:22:00,032 ♪ Baby ♪ 504 00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:06,703 ♪ Who you wanna be? ♪ 505 00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:10,825 ♪ Who you wanna be? ♪ 506 00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:14,374 ♪ I'm the one that holds you ♪ 507 00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:18,299 ♪ In the middle of the night ♪ 508 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,260 ♪ I'm the one that holds you ♪ 509 00:22:23,633 --> 00:22:26,643 ♪ Forever till we die ♪ 510 00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:29,719 ♪ So it's time we take ♪ 511 00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:33,641 ♪ All the memories away ♪ 512 00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:37,273 ♪ I'm the one that holds you ♪ 513 00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:40,822 ♪ In the middle night ♪