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‪NETFLIX 原創影集

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‪雖然迪薇一家度過愉快的象神節

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‪娜莉妮還沒有原諒迪薇
‪在無父母監督的派對喝酒

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‪還被郊狼咬傷

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‪所以迪薇被罰禁足
‪被迫成為家裡的奴僕

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‪目前她正忙著燙衣服

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‪老天，這無聊死了

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‪我是網球評論員
‪可不是高爾夫球評論員

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‪這樣吧？我們跳過這一幕
‪來看看法碧歐拉

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‪她經歷的事情有趣多了

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‪法碧歐拉沒有告訴任何人她是同志
‪除了她的機器人機爾斯布洛斯南

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‪她知道合理的下一步
‪就是向人類出櫃

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‪特別是她的家人

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‪我敢說你們都很好奇
‪我為什麼召開這次家庭會議

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‪我當然是

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‪可以快一點嗎？
‪我的兄弟會再過15分鐘有迎新活動

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‪好，我只需要一分鐘時間

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‪我要告訴你們的事相當私密

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‪希望你們不會用異樣眼光看我

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‪我還是同一個法碧歐拉

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‪亞歷士戈梅茲搞大妳的肚子了？

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‪-這些矮個子總是這樣
‪-什麼？

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‪不，他沒有，還差得遠呢

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‪我想說的事，我…

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‪我…

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‪快點，法碧歐拉，妳可以的
‪只要再說一個詞

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‪我…

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‪今年要從法語先修課程
‪改成拉丁語先修課程

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‪好

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‪我是有點震驚

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‪我必須說，妳讓我有些措手不及

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‪真要老實說，這不是我想像中
‪妳會過的生活

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‪我們計劃明年暑假去馬賽的…

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‪親愛的

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‪我們很高興妳願意坦然告訴我們

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‪下一次妳會做到的，法碧歐拉

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‪妳還有下一個活在當下的機會

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{\an8}‪劇名：……引發核爆等級的大事

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‪真受不了，我簡直就是契約奴工

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{\an8}‪除了學校活動，我媽不肯讓我出家門

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{\an8}‪今晚她要我清理煙囪內的黑寡婦蜘蛛

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{\an8}‪希望妳的禁足快點結束

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{\an8}‪我們就可以狂歡，像放春假一樣

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‪這倒提醒了我

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{\an8}‪我媽媽剛傳這個給我

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{\an8}‪她的船剛抵達坎昆

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{\an8}‪艾莉諾的戲胞遺傳到媽媽

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‪她是才華洋溢的演員
‪在艾莉諾七歲時拋下她

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‪如果我不能教導妳

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‪勇敢去追夢，那我算什麼母親？

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‪所以我要離開妳，去追求我的夢想

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‪目前她在慧優體的遊輪上

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‪主演《摩登蜜莉》

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‪哇，那張卡片真暗黑

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‪妳的媽媽很酷

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‪我知道，真希望她在這裡幫助我
‪這個星期我要參加

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{\an8}‪《玻璃動物園》的試鏡
‪她真是專業級的

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{\an8}‪電視上的每一個角色
‪她幾乎都試過了

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{\an8}‪法碧，妳怎麼了？

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{\an8}‪妳通常很快就吃光一包多力多滋
‪大概20秒吧

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{\an8}‪不，我只是…唸飯前禱詞

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{\an8}‪阿們

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{\an8}‪現在要來大啖美味了

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‪嘿，郊狼女孩，過來

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‪迪薇在家裡也許是不受歡迎人物

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‪在學校她可是人氣高漲

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{\an8}‪天啊

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{\an8}‪派克斯頓公開承認妳了

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{\an8}‪他們要我過去？妳們應該和我一起去

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{\an8}‪-不要
‪-不要

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{\an8}‪我們只會妨礙妳

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{\an8}‪這是妳要獨自體驗的歷程

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{\an8}‪迪薇還沒有告訴她的朋友
‪關於派克斯頓的真相

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{\an8}‪但是他在象神節確實說過
‪她看起來很美

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‪所以她還是有可能和他上床的

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‪-小迪！
‪-那是我

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‪等等，小迪或郊狼女孩？
‪我們要叫哪一個？

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‪提醒妳一下，放學後要直接回家

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‪等妳清完煙囪

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‪我幫妳自願報名
‪替隔壁的芬奇老太太剪腳趾甲

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‪你說艾瑞克生病了？

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{\an8}‪他要代表赤道幾內亞的

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{\an8}‪沒什麼大不了的，班

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{\an8}‪我們以前舉辦模擬聯合國
‪也曾經有人缺席

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{\an8}‪我是說，不管是男人或女人

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{\an8}‪異性或中性的

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‪有我在安全理事會就不行

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{\an8}‪我需要找來每一個遜咖
‪才能襯托我的聰明

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‪如果我無法贏得最佳代表的小木槌

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‪幹嘛整個晚上在戴維斯浪費時間？

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‪對一般的青少年來說

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‪到加州大學戴維斯分校
‪參加模擬聯合國的活動似乎很無聊

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‪但是對於居家禁閉的人來說

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‪聽起來是逃向自由美國的唯一機會

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‪我愛芬奇太太
‪但是有其他人可以幫她修腳嗎？

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‪因為學校有個要過夜的活動
‪會對我申請大學的資歷加分不少

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‪妳看到迪薇的簡訊了嗎？

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‪看來她要參加模擬聯合國的活動了

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‪哇，她真是不計代價要離開家門

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‪那些學生最遜了

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‪我有告訴妳嗎？
‪我現在都用鵝毛筆寫作業了

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‪妳是艾莉諾吧？

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‪應該是吧

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‪昨晚我們去墨西哥之家
‪妳媽是我們的服務生

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‪她很酷，還多給我們一些薯片

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‪什麼？不可能吧

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‪不，是真的

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‪不，我媽是遊輪上的演員

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‪此刻遊輪停靠在多彩多姿的坎昆市

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‪好吧，我媽媽認識她
‪還和她聊了一下

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‪但也許她弄錯了，隨便啦

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‪你不知道你在亂說什麼

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‪你不能隨便在學校製造謠言
‪詆毀別人的媽媽

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‪你顯然認為所有的亞洲女性
‪都長得一樣

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‪你有種族歧視，派克斯頓霍爾吉田！

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‪我有一半的日本人血統

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‪哇，你是嗎？

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‪兄弟，不然你以為我怎麼姓吉田？

119
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‪顯然這是什麼敏感話題
‪反正我不在乎

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‪老實說，我沒想到會和妳們聊這麼久

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‪我們走

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‪兄弟，抱歉我不知道你是亞洲人

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‪以後我會更注意一點

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‪川特，你見過我爸有40次了吧

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‪我以為那是你的鄰居

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‪模擬聯合國的成員
‪這場外交盛事我們會大獲全勝

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‪他們會叫我們全球先生

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‪不光是我爸的客戶嘻哈鬥牛梗

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‪-因為我們是誰？
‪-舍曼奧克斯高中！

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‪-我們要做什麼？
‪-模擬聯合國

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‪妳在這裡做什麼？

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‪模擬聯合國！

133
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‪班，我知道你很擔心
‪我們的團隊不完整

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‪幸好上帝今天對我們微笑了

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‪搞什麼啊？

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‪這顯然違反我們的協議了

137
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‪幾年前，班和迪薇
‪把所有的課外活動分成兩半

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‪除了運動以外

139
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‪那牽涉到太多的更衣室裸露了
‪他們兩個都不想

140
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‪你在開玩笑吧，那是六年級的事了

141
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‪這是我的地盤

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‪我可不會拿著可怕的低音管
‪出現在妳的樂團

143
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‪說得好像你會吹奏雙簧的木管樂器

144
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‪放心，只要兩天

145
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‪除非我其實是天生好手

146
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‪那我就搶走這個，你可以選中文社團

147
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‪想都別想

148
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‪（模擬聯合國）

149
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‪早上不好，我的敵人

150
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‪給妳不友善的提醒
‪就因為妳是UN的成員

151
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‪不代表妳就擅長聯合國事務

152
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‪所以保持安靜，不要舉起妳的國家牌

153
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‪支持我所有的決議

154
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‪不可能，我要贏得最佳代表的鐵鎚

155
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‪是小木槌

156
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‪隨便啦，那是我的了

157
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‪準備看赤道幾內亞
‪做他們最拿手的事吧

158
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‪他們有全世界最糟的人權紀錄，可惡

159
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‪大家請坐

160
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‪我正式宣布本次安理會的會議開始

161
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,765
‪今天的第一個議題是氣候變遷

162
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‪美國代表，請發言

163
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,454
‪各位代表和主席大人

164
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‪美國感到震驚，不
‪我們的世界生病了

165
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‪我們可以無所事事
‪任憑亞特蘭大變成新的亞特蘭提斯

166
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:20,332
‪或者我們可以立刻通過一個決議

167
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‪我要呼籲他國代表支持我的提案

168
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‪建造海堤來保護沿岸地區
‪對抗逐漸升高的海平面

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‪（科威特–赤道幾內亞）

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‪赤道幾內亞

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‪赤道幾內亞覺得美國的提案

172
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‪頂多算是有欠考慮的半吊子作法

173
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‪建造越來越高的海堤
‪起不了什麼作用

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‪只是圖利各大海堤企業

175
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‪-才沒有這種玩意
‪-我只是說

176
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‪我們必須直擊問題的真正根源

177
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‪減少碳足跡

178
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‪也許安理會的五大常任理事國

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‪應該先達成協議
‪免得還要聽其他國家發言

180
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‪他們能與會就夠幸運了

181
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‪美國代表，你沒有發言權

182
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‪赤道幾內亞，如果妳說完了
‪可以把時間讓給美國

183
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,755
‪我放棄剩下的時間

184
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:10,800
{\an8}‪（祕魯–比利時）

185
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:12,643
{\an8}‪哇靠

186
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:15,348
‪我知道放棄剩下的時間
‪對你我這種酷帥運動員

187
00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:16,969
‪聽起來不怎麼有趣

188
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,886
‪但是在模擬聯合國，那就等於

189
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,095
‪我在比賽時拿網球拍扔裁判

190
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,019
‪俄國

191
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:27,782
‪我其實想請赤道幾內亞
‪多聊聊她的計畫

192
00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:30,648
‪我覺得她有備而來
‪我希望她成為我的朋友

193
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:31,896
‪我是指盟友

194
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:43,956
‪艾莉諾，妳在發呆

195
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,253
‪妳在想派克斯頓說的話嗎？

196
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:48,875
‪如果那是我媽呢？

197
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,262
‪如果她離我只有20分鐘車程
‪在餐廳端辣肉餡捲餅呢？

198
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:55,391
‪她不是，她的遊輪正要前往猶加敦

199
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:56,429
‪是嗎？

200
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:57,849
‪好

201
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,891
‪妳想去墨西哥之家確認一下嗎？

202
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:04,148
‪想，拜託

203
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,188
‪我們走

204
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,529
‪好的，各位

205
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,374
‪在我們回飯店之前

206
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,040
‪我要提醒大家

207
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:23,078
‪我希望大家的舉止
‪都對得起你們的學校…

208
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,459
‪還有你們的身體

209
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:27,671
‪所以不准開派對、叫客房服務

210
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,302
‪7點30分到7點45分之間
‪不要打擾我

211
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,719
‪我要和我的愛人黛博拉視訊

212
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,342
‪我們剛剛定下來

213
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:46,730
‪哇

214
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:50,776
‪真是瘋狂，我完全沒準備
‪一來就在模擬聯合國大放異彩

215
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,904
‪妳真以為自己很了不起啊

216
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,776
‪就因為妳和派克斯頓上過床？

217
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:57,821
‪搞什麼？

218
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:00,409
‪-什麼？
‪-迪薇很慌張

219
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,083
‪班怎麼知道她的謊言？

220
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,116
‪簡單，她的朋友告訴他的

221
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,615
‪阿呆會和派克斯頓霍爾吉田上床？

222
00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:07,917
‪-最好是
‪-是真的

223
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,420
‪迪薇和派克斯頓經常愛愛的

224
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,167
‪但是我要講清楚

225
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:14,835
‪就算妳偷偷搞上派克斯頓

226
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,054
‪在我眼中，妳還是遜咖一個

227
00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:26,849
‪天啊，迪薇和派克斯頓有一腿！

228
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:32,019
‪天啊，她來了

229
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:34,188
‪妳們幹嘛這樣看我？

230
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,530
‪健身中心的蘋果是可以拿的

231
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,452
‪我偷聽到妳和班在巴士上的談話

232
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,531
‪一想到參加模擬聯合國的女孩

233
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,736
‪能和派克斯頓霍爾吉田在一起

234
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:44,825
‪妳真是我們最好的鼓勵

235
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:46,622
‪迪薇覺得非常榮幸

236
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,496
‪但不知道是否該糾正
‪她們對她和派克斯頓的誤會

237
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:52,503
‪我們討論過了，妳應該自己睡一張床

238
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,376
‪和我們擠一張床，太委屈妳了

239
00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:57,133
‪畢竟妳習慣和男神雕像一起睡了

240
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,176
‪也許晚一點再糾正她們吧

241
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,510
‪她們又不會和帥哥區的人交談

242
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,095
‪況且她已經帶給她們希望了

243
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:04,770
‪奪走她們的希望太殘忍了

244
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:09,557
‪-天啊，她的生活好像在演電影
‪-天啊

245
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:14,726
‪和我在儲冰室碰面，再見，俄國

246
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:34,041
‪抱歉，我們是在等她？

247
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,302
‪算了，我不參加

248
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:36,705
‪我先棄權

249
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:39,337
‪等等，拜託了，同志
‪你們還沒聽聽我的提議

250
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,258
‪我想發起一個聯合倡議

251
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:43,474
‪來嗨一下

252
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,177
‪我想和你們喝個痛快

253
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:50,144
‪我覺得不好，俄國代表

254
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:53,227
‪就算我們不在校園
‪我們還是代表我們的學校

255
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:57,069
‪對，他說話的口氣是很遜
‪但我也不參加

256
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,401
‪拜託，兩位，我需要喝一杯

257
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,907
‪我媽真是賤人，我什麼事也不能做

258
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:03,739
‪學校的同學都討厭我

259
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:05,794
‪但是妳，每個人都喜歡妳

260
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,328
‪妳很酷

261
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:09,661
‪妳和派克斯頓霍爾吉田上床！

262
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,077
‪你怎麼認識派克斯頓？

263
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,375
‪南加州的每個青少年
‪都知道派克斯頓

264
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,039
‪他有三個粉絲社團

265
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,547
‪其中一個還是全韓文的

266
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,419
‪哇，那太瘋狂了

267
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,666
‪他在我眼中還是那個平常的派克斯頓

268
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,548
‪很難以粉絲的眼光去看他

269
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,005
‪因為我們是如此親密

270
00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:27,014
‪好，俄國代表，我們要怎麼弄到酒？

271
00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:29,017
‪今晚這裡有個房地產經紀人大會

272
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:31,269
‪那裡有一堆免費的酒

273
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,602
‪如果我們幹走幾瓶，根本沒人會注意

274
00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:36,607
‪不好吧，我已經因為喝酒被禁足了

275
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,980
‪如果再被抓到，我的麻煩就大了

276
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,028
‪這不就是妳的日常嗎？

277
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:44,161
‪被禁足、偷喝酒、和男人上床？

278
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,830
‪妳很吃得開，不是嗎？

279
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:51,406
‪對，是沒錯

280
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,497
‪-我加入
‪-好耶！

281
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:55,042
‪那麼我也要加入

282
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,835
‪我要確定某人拿的是好酒

283
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,210
‪你又知道什麼是好酒了？

284
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:02,085
‪我爸讓我在新年喝了一小口水晶香檳

285
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,889
‪天啊

286
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:12,555
‪她真的在這裡

287
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,189
‪艾莉諾

288
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:19,319
‪我不敢相信我自己的媽媽
‪竟然是這種雙面人！

289
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,743
‪天啊，妳不是我的媽媽，真抱歉

290
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,410
‪我這樣也算是種族歧視

291
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:26,318
‪看吧？不是她

292
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,367
‪-她在遊輪上
‪-我知道

293
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:33,003
‪我竟然會相信派克斯頓亂說
‪卻不相信我媽

294
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:39,165
‪媽？

295
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,128
‪艾莉諾

296
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:43,594
‪妳在這裡？

297
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,180
‪這是妳的工作？

298
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:48,468
‪這是怎麼回事？

299
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,313
‪我可以解釋

300
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,228
‪嗨，王小姐

301
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:54,886
‪再見，王小姐

302
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,606
‪迪薇和班只有15分鐘

303
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:03,071
‪他們必須和比約恩博格的發球一樣快

304
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,992
‪而且要像馬克安諾的回擊一樣精準
‪才能成功

305
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:09,701
‪黛博拉，我上線了
‪我讓我們的治療師加入

306
00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:23,674
‪（房地產經紀人大會）

307
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:29,392
‪我能效勞嗎？

308
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,390
‪兩杯馬丁尼，麻煩你

309
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,217
‪你們看起來真的很年輕
‪可以出示證件嗎？

310
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,440
‪我沒帶皮夾

311
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:40,688
‪我是可以回五樓的房間

312
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,323
‪-找我的鑰匙…
‪-冷靜點，老兄

313
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,194
‪這是1元

314
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,656
‪之後再給你1元

315
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,947
‪抱歉，我不能這樣做

316
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,536
‪好吧，你剛剛損失了1元，老兄

317
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:04,803
‪他們逼我的，他們霸凌我

318
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,591
‪這就是為什麼你的同學都討厭你！

319
00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:10,299
‪我們走

320
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,216
‪這裡

321
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,188
‪好，我想我們安全了

322
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,242
‪我們就在這裡等等吧

323
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:36,908
‪中大獎了

324
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,169
‪妳還好嗎？

325
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,883
‪想上網看看如何煮茶的療癒視頻嗎？

326
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:48,835
‪不要

327
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:52,928
‪這是少數情況
‪連甘菊茶也無法療癒我

328
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,682
‪她何時去那裡上班的？
‪她為什麼不告訴我？

329
00:16:57,766 --> 00:16:59,766
‪我相信她有她的原因

330
00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:03,772
‪也許她是間諜，或加入很棒的教派

331
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,276
‪不，那樣她早就大吹大擂了

332
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,902
‪妳好幸運，妳有完美的家庭

333
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:11,612
‪我們才不完美

334
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:12,987
‪妳就有

335
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:16,043
‪妳又沒有天大的謊言
‪隨時會摧毀每個人

336
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:20,253
‪其實我有

337
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:21,746
‪天啊

338
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,502
‪他們不知道妳改修拉丁先修課程嗎？

339
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:29,046
‪他們不知道…

340
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:34,008
‪我是同性戀

341
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:37,385
‪什麼？

342
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:39,425
‪我是同性戀

343
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,519
‪很抱歉我沒有早點告訴妳
‪老實說，我也是剛剛了解…

344
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,194
‪妳幹嘛向我道歉

345
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:48,980
‪真的嗎？

346
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:51,315
‪這樣很棒，為了妳

347
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,702
‪也為了我自己
‪我總算有同性戀好友了

348
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,832
‪很符合我這個戲劇女王的形象

349
00:17:59,078 --> 00:17:59,998
‪哇

350
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,958
‪說出來感覺真棒

351
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:07,463
‪我感覺剛剛破解了
‪困住我一輩子的密室脫逃

352
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:09,254
‪所以妳喜歡哪一型的？

353
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:12,008
‪《暮光》的克莉絲汀史都華
‪還是《霹靂嬌娃》裡的她？

354
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:14,473
‪老實說，我不知道

355
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:18,305
‪我好像喜歡歷史課那個夏娃

356
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:19,931
‪所以是《霹靂嬌娃》

357
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,016
‪哇

358
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,311
‪夏娃要是成為妳的第一個女人
‪那真是太合適了

359
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,228
‪在我和爸媽談開之前，我根本不敢想

360
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:32,065
‪對，看來我們都要面對
‪非常艱難的談話

361
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,243
‪真希望迪薇此刻在這裡

362
00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:35,821
‪天啊，她一定會瘋掉

363
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,084
‪是支持的瘋掉

364
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,744
‪-我們來打給她
‪-好

365
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,917
‪（法碧歐拉）

366
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,092
‪各國代表

367
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:54,336
‪我提臨時動議，舉杯祝福
‪美國和赤道幾內亞代表

368
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,510
‪有人附議嗎？

369
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,347
‪酒是這種味道？

370
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:08,017
‪所以…

371
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:12,404
‪結果我們這兩個互相討厭的人
‪其實是很好的搭檔

372
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:13,744
‪我不討厭你

373
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,899
‪我只是覺得你很臭屁、不討人喜歡

374
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,488
‪我怎麼不討人喜歡？
‪我爸開保時捷凱燕

375
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:20,777
‪就是這個，不討人喜歡

376
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:24,705
‪好吧，但妳的個性也很難相處

377
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:26,208
‪誰，我嗎？

378
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,710
‪我超好相處的

379
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,881
‪我應該揍你的喉結一拳
‪誰叫你講這種話

380
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,750
‪我更正，妳是美國甜心

381
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:33,758
‪謝謝

382
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:38,143
‪我挺喜歡模擬聯合國的
‪你想和我交換中文社團嗎？

383
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,008
‪絕對不要，滾開，侵略者

384
00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:41,555
‪但你中文說得很好

385
00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:44,932
‪老實說，我努力學好中文
‪只是為了要嗆妳，所以…

386
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,190
‪謝謝

387
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:48,020
‪不客氣

388
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,360
‪我不敢相信我會這樣說，但是…

389
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,863
‪如果我們明天一起合作呢？

390
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:57,954
‪肯定是很棒的開會紀錄

391
00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:00,702
‪你是建議我們雙方結盟？

392
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:03,242
‪那就像南北韓變成朋友

393
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:04,287
‪沒錯

394
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:06,039
‪想像他們能展現多大的力量

395
00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:09,751
‪妳可以有地對空飛彈
‪還有防彈少年團

396
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,129
‪我懂了，征服世界

397
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,915
‪妳告訴派克斯頓
‪模擬聯合國的事了嗎？

398
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:20,434
‪我相信他對外交很感興趣

399
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,601
‪“知道哪個國家很酷嗎？

400
00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:24,183
‪查德”

401
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,274
‪好，派克斯頓不是笨蛋

402
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,560
‪他只是持續在學校表現不好

403
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:31,193
‪拜託！

404
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:34,565
‪這正是我叫你們不要做的

405
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,240
‪快點回自己的房間

406
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:42,073
‪傳簡訊告知爸媽
‪你們度過富有教育性、安全的時光

407
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,910
‪那晚迪薇愉快地入睡

408
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,745
‪她是這些宅宅的英雄

409
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:51,540
‪酒精也似乎讓班葛羅斯人變好了

410
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:55,745
‪這個模擬聯合國可能是
‪她這一年做過最好的決定

411
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:00,426
‪迪薇，搞什麼？

412
00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:03,184
‪妳為什麼騙每個人我們做愛了？

413
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,016
‪早安！

414
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:10,980
‪床上的早餐

415
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,651
‪-妳們不必那樣做
‪-要的

416
00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:18,151
‪昨晚我喝了白葡萄酒
‪有個男孩碰了我的肩膀

417
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,815
‪多虧了妳
‪我基本上就是在《慾望城市》

418
00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:21,784
‪我的榮幸

419
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:24,454
‪妳們正在慢慢變酷

420
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:25,373
‪就像我一樣

421
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:31,617
‪-天啊
‪-什麼事？

422
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,747
‪是來自…他嗎？

423
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:38,007
‪對，我必須回電給他

424
00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:39,758
‪可以給我一些隱私嗎？

425
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:40,760
‪電話性愛嗎？

426
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:42,721
‪拜託離開，妳們可以退下了

427
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:43,761
‪好

428
00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:47,966
‪我是派克斯頓，我不聽留言的

429
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,685
‪我是派克斯頓，我不聽留言的

430
00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:57,694
‪顯然在戴維斯發生的事
‪不會就留在戴維斯

431
00:21:57,774 --> 00:22:00,444
‪特別是關於性愛的勁爆八卦

432
00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:02,607
‪對象又是洛杉磯郡最性感的青少年

433
00:22:03,071 --> 00:22:06,661
‪迪薇憂心如焚
‪但這件事只能怪她自己

434
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,660
‪也許她想到另一個人可以責怪

435
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:14,332
‪要不是班那麼大嘴巴

436
00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:17,996
‪她的無害小謊言就不會傳遍整個學校

437
00:22:18,086 --> 00:22:20,046
‪派克斯頓生她的氣，都是班的錯

438
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:21,550
‪大壞人就是他

439
00:22:21,631 --> 00:22:23,881
‪如果我們現在不行動
‪海洋會漲得非常高

440
00:22:23,967 --> 00:22:26,757
‪我們會在聖母峰的頂端
‪從事海灘度假

441
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:30,385
‪所以美國提議進行投票
‪考慮我們修正的解決方案

442
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:32,894
‪我是否聽到盟友的附議
‪赤道幾內亞？

443
00:22:36,271 --> 00:22:38,821
‪赤道幾內亞不支持美國的方案

444
00:22:39,232 --> 00:22:42,492
‪事實上，我們認為這個方案爛透了

445
00:22:43,820 --> 00:22:47,030
‪注意禮儀，赤道幾內亞
‪請使用有禮貌的言詞

446
00:22:47,115 --> 00:22:50,075
‪但我想提出一個替代方案

447
00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:53,075
‪美國的碳排放遠遠超過

448
00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:54,753
‪其他任何一個國家

449
00:22:54,831 --> 00:22:57,831
‪所以赤道幾內亞想正式要求

450
00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:00,048
‪對美國使用核武

451
00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:04,054
‪注意禮儀，我們在安理會
‪不做這種事的

452
00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:05,302
‪就算我們可以

453
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:08,104
‪赤道幾內亞也沒有核武

454
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:13,180
‪俄國，你最愛告密，如果你給我核武

455
00:23:13,266 --> 00:23:14,676
‪我就給你我的電郵信箱

456
00:23:14,768 --> 00:23:16,058
‪但是妳已經給我了

457
00:23:16,144 --> 00:23:17,854
‪我真正的電郵信箱

458
00:23:18,855 --> 00:23:20,355
‪好樣的

459
00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:25,448
‪俄羅斯聯邦正式把所有核武
‪移交給赤道幾內亞

460
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:29,235
‪現在呢，主席？我有核武了

461
00:23:29,324 --> 00:23:31,664
‪秩序問題
‪模擬聯合國不是這樣運作的

462
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,580
‪妳簡直瘋了，迪薇

463
00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:36,292
‪我們不可能真的在討論核戰

464
00:23:36,373 --> 00:23:37,623
‪猜猜怎麼著，比利時

465
00:23:38,708 --> 00:23:39,838
‪核彈剛剛打中妳了

466
00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:42,748
‪任何支持美國的人

467
00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:44,458
‪就準備接受核彈攻擊吧

468
00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:48,388
‪事實證明不能信任美國
‪經手敏感的資訊

469
00:23:48,468 --> 00:23:50,598
‪如果讓他們自行其是

470
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:53,009
‪肯定會毀了我們的生活

471
00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:54,218
‪誰站在我這邊？

472
00:23:54,307 --> 00:23:55,977
‪第三次世界大戰萬歲！

473
00:23:57,894 --> 00:24:04,824
‪第三次世界大戰…

474
00:24:04,901 --> 00:24:07,491
‪注意禮儀！

475
00:24:13,660 --> 00:24:17,870
‪大家好，我是艾莉諾王
‪我要試鏡勞拉溫菲德

476
00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:20,170
‪準備好就開始

477
00:24:22,169 --> 00:24:25,209
‪母親，妳為什麼這樣做？

478
00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:31,845
‪母親，妳為什麼這樣做？

479
00:24:37,684 --> 00:24:38,944
‪為什麼？

480
00:24:39,519 --> 00:24:40,769
‪勞拉，妳幾歲了？

481
00:24:41,271 --> 00:24:42,361
‪母親…

482
00:24:43,773 --> 00:24:45,823
‪妳知道我的年齡

483
00:24:46,526 --> 00:24:47,896
‪我以為妳是成年人了

484
00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:49,526
‪看來是我錯了

485
00:24:50,113 --> 00:24:52,913
‪拜託，母親，別盯著我

486
00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:57,157
‪妳失望時

487
00:24:57,871 --> 00:25:02,541
‪臉上就出現萬般痛苦的表情

488
00:25:04,753 --> 00:25:08,473
‪好像博物館中的聖母畫像

489
00:25:14,429 --> 00:25:17,269
‪哇，艾莉諾
‪我本來要讓妳擔任道具組的

490
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,849
‪但那真是…太出乎意料了

491
00:25:20,268 --> 00:25:22,188
‪我認為勞拉這個角色
‪對妳太大材小用了

492
00:25:22,812 --> 00:25:24,402
‪我認為妳必須演我們的亞曼達

493
00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:26,231
‪但亞曼達是女主角

494
00:25:26,816 --> 00:25:29,896
‪沒錯，艾莉諾，她是的

495
00:25:34,449 --> 00:25:35,449
‪謝謝你

496
00:25:55,929 --> 00:25:58,009
‪妳在哪裡？
‪妳為什麼不回我們的電話？

497
00:25:58,098 --> 00:25:59,178
‪我們必須和妳談談

498
00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,022
‪（舍曼奧克斯高中）

499
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:13,280
‪嘿

500
00:26:14,197 --> 00:26:17,157
‪我只想說我真的很抱歉發生這樣的事

501
00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:19,542
‪我不是故意告訴別人我們上過床

502
00:26:19,619 --> 00:26:20,619
‪真的嗎？

503
00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:22,714
‪那麼為什麼我狂收簡訊，大家都問我

504
00:26:22,789 --> 00:26:25,459
‪是否和迪薇威舍庫瑪上床了？

505
00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:28,462
‪我朋友只是這樣假設，我沒有糾正

506
00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:29,625
‪結果情況就失控了

507
00:26:29,713 --> 00:26:31,553
‪為什麼妳沒有糾正他們？

508
00:26:31,631 --> 00:26:33,881
‪因為妳要他們以為我們上床了

509
00:26:33,967 --> 00:26:36,047
‪-派克斯頓，你不明白…
‪-不，妳知道嗎？

510
00:26:36,136 --> 00:26:39,056
‪我以為我們是朋友
‪但妳只是在利用我

511
00:26:40,056 --> 00:26:42,096
‪你太大驚小怪了
‪不過是個愚蠢的謠言

512
00:26:42,976 --> 00:26:43,976
‪妳起頭的謠言

513
00:26:44,853 --> 00:26:46,233
‪亂搞一通，迪薇

514
00:26:53,528 --> 00:26:56,318
‪迪薇！我們一直想聯絡妳

515
00:26:56,406 --> 00:26:59,026
‪發生大事了
‪我們兩個都有話要告訴妳

516
00:26:59,117 --> 00:27:01,367
‪-現在不是時候！
‪-但這真的很重要

517
00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:04,623
‪相信我，不管妳們有什麼大事
‪我的問題更大，行嗎？

518
00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:06,036
‪我的問題更大！

519
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:16,592
‪孩子，妳的旅行還好嗎？

520
00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:18,299
‪還好

521
00:27:19,262 --> 00:27:21,182
‪我認為妳已經學到教訓

522
00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:23,306
‪我也找不到事情給妳做了

523
00:27:23,391 --> 00:27:26,141
‪所以…妳的禁足結束了

524
00:27:27,020 --> 00:27:29,190
‪如果妳想去艾莉諾或法碧歐拉家

525
00:27:29,272 --> 00:27:32,732
‪做些好玩的事，例如練習SAT預考

526
00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:33,857
‪我允許妳去

527
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:37,526
‪不，謝了，我哪裡也不想去

528
00:27:39,449 --> 00:27:40,489
‪好吧

529
00:28:49,602 --> 00:28:50,902
‪字幕翻譯：陳彬彬