1
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,972
[McEnroe] It had been a week
since Devi's violent encounter
2
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:15,886
with the coyote,
3
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:19,604
but Paxton's words from the hospital
were still echoing in her mind.
4
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,346
That's why it's cool we're friends.
5
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,938
Of course he had friendzoned her.
6
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,153
She thought a wild animal was her dad.
7
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:28,573
As much as Devi wanted to be a chill girl
that you could have sex with,
8
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:30,993
she knew the truth:
she was a weird loser,
9
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:32,412
and a member of the UN,
10
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,580
and today was certainly
not gonna change that.
11
00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:35,489
[sighs]
12
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:37,867
["Dum Maro Dum" playing]
13
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,433
[song continues]
14
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,242
[song stops]
15
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,203
Are you Princess Jasmine?
16
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,293
No, but thank you. She is very beautiful.
17
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:20,500
Ariel's prettier.
18
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:21,865
Where's Aladdin?
19
00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:23,036
I don't have an Aladdin,
20
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,964
because he just wants to be friends.
21
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:26,593
Okay...
22
00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:29,879
Hi. Can I have two black coffees
and one large hot chocolate?
23
00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:31,424
But can you write latte on the cup?
24
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:32,968
I want people to take me seriously.
25
00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:37,314
Oh, can my daughter take a photo with you?
You look so amazing.
26
00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:38,468
No, thanks.
27
00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:40,556
She'd really love to put it
on her Instagram.
28
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,142
[chuckles] It's so cultural.
29
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,767
I don't really feel at home right now
in my choice of clothing.
30
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I mean, usually I don't,
but especially today.
31
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She's just a little girl.
32
00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:51,779
Okay, sir, you don't have
to say it like that.
33
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:53,201
I just don't want to take a photo.
34
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,739
Also, why do we have to commemorate
everything on social media?
35
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,664
Hmm? Why can't we just live in the moment?
36
00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,742
You were on Twitter
the entire time you were in line.
37
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You tweeted a "thank you" to a Target ad
telling you to have a happy Labor Day.
38
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:06,168
-[sighs] Fine. Let's just take the photo.
-Go.
39
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,091
[sighs]
40
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:09,378
-[camera clicks]
-Okay.
41
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,763
You want any doughnuts with that?
42
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,880
Yeah, Ira, I do, but I'm fasting today.
43
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:15,798
Oh.
44
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,054
Is it Ramadan?
45
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,219
[McEnroe] No, it's not, Ira.
46
00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:21,392
Today is Ganesh Puja.
47
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,268
{\an8}♪ Check out the ammo
Protect the arsenal ♪
48
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,364
[McEnroe] Looks like an ad
for India, right?
49
00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:33,241
Or at least the middle
of an Indiana Jones movie, but it's not.
50
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,279
This is Ganesh Puja, baby.
51
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:38,743
Ganesh Puja is a Hindu holiday
celebrating Lord Ganesh,
52
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and a time to share warm moments
with family.
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00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:43,499
Speaking of warm moments with family,
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00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,420
let's check in with the Vishwakumars.
55
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,498
Mom, this sari is so uncomfortable.
56
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,294
Why does it itch so much?
57
00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:52,127
{\an8}Itchiness of saris
is a rite of passage for Indian women.
58
00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:53,053
{\an8}Deal with it.
59
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,721
{\an8}Why can't I just wear kurta and jeans
like I normally do?
60
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,970
{\an8}Then I don't have to get half naked
every time I need to go to the bathroom.
61
00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,933
{\an8}Devi, you're of age now.
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00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,684
{\an8}Half sari is more appropriate.
63
00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:04,805
{\an8}Ew, Mom. Don't say "of age."
64
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,943
{\an8}It makes me sound like a girl
in a douche commercial.
65
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,230
{\an8}-What is douche?
-OK, everyone stop talking about douche.
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00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,361
{\an8}Lord Ganesh doesn't need
to see my daughter
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{\an8}in ripped jeans
and a "Fries Before Guys" t-shirt.
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00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,568
{\an8}[McEnroe] Nalini was a little on edge.
69
00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:17,493
{\an8}This was the first puja they had gone to
70
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:20,582
{\an8}since Mohan's untimely death
and Devi's paralysis.
71
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:23,868
{\an8}Last week, Mrs. Iyengar asked
if we were going to show up at puja,
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00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:26,963
{\an8}or whether we, quote,
"had too much going on."
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00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,040
{\an8}I could just hear the pity in her voice.
74
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:32,665
{\an8}Too much going on, for Ganesh Puja?
That bitch.
75
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,174
-Whoa.
-Auntie, you must calm down.
76
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:37,045
{\an8}Why does the Hindu Association
have to have puja at my high school?
77
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,183
{\an8}It's so low-rent.
78
00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:40,676
{\an8}Ben Gross's bar mitzvah
was at the Dolby Theatre.
79
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,262
{\an8}They have the Oscars there.
80
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:44,017
{\an8}Jewish people know how to save.
81
00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,728
{\an8}Us, Indians, we get a little bit of money,
82
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:48,058
{\an8}we go straight to Home Depot
to buy a cement fountain.
83
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:50,064
{\an8}We're just obsessed with fountains.
84
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,476
{\an8}Oh, I love a fountain.
85
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,480
{\an8}[sighs] Anyway, Devi,
86
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:56,236
{\an8}you know Sanchiti Bhattacharyya
will be at puja, right?
87
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,569
{\an8}You remember
her useless white husband Ron?
88
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,155
{\an8}Turns out,
he's not that useless after all.
89
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:05,501
He runs the most exclusive
college counseling company in LA.
90
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:08,288
Ninety percent of their kids
get into Ivy Leagues.
91
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,583
And they are so elite,
92
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,286
they don't even
count Cornell and Penn as Ivies.
93
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:15,087
-He's so successful, he has his own Tesla.
-[car beeps]
94
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:16,626
I Zillow-ed his house.
95
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:18,514
Do you want to know
what the Zestimate was?
96
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,587
One point eight million dollars!
97
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:24,057
-Whoa. He loaded.
-Yes, he is.
98
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:26,218
Now, Ron doesn't take many kids, so...
99
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:29,267
if you want to go to Princeton,
you know what you need to do.
100
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:30,852
[sighs] I'm on it, Mom.
101
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:34,227
Winning over old-ass teacher types
is my super power.
102
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[sighs] Good girl.
103
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:45,575
[chatter and drums in background]
104
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,700
Oh, god. Aunties approaching.
105
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,211
Don't look.
106
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,669
Where? Where should I not look?
107
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,248
[Devi] Damn it, Kamala.
108
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:56,303
[McEnroe] Aunties are older Indian women
who have no blood relationship to you,
109
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:59,589
but are allowed to have opinions
about your life and all your shortcomings.
110
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,684
You have to be nice to them
because you're Indian.
111
00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:04,179
It's so good to see you, and Devi,
112
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,102
what a relief to see
you're no longer a cripple.
113
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:07,390
[woman] What a miracle.
114
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,893
I prayed for her every day.
115
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,975
I said, "No matter why you have chosen
to curse them,
116
00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,441
please cure her as a reward
for my virtue."
117
00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:16,902
[sarcastically] Thank you.
I'm sure your prayers did it.
118
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,823
Yes. Thank you for thinking of us.
How is Arjun?
119
00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:22,322
You know Arjun.
He just installed a home theater.
120
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:25,695
Two rows of seats.
Dolby 5,1 surround sound.
121
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,373
Popcorn machine coming soon.
122
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,462
Sunu, they don't care
about your stupid home theater
123
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,248
with all they've been through.
124
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,962
I know exactly how you feel.
125
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,423
My husband, Pradeep,
had testicular cancer.
126
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,090
I'm so sorry for your loss.
127
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,342
Oh, no. He's fine.
128
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,263
It was stage one. They caught it early,
129
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,552
removed his testicle,
and now he's running the 10K.
130
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:47,854
[sarcastically] You're right.
Our situations are so similar.
131
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:51,393
Uh, you know my niece, Kamala, right?
132
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,976
Getting her doctorate at Caltech,
soon to be engaged...
133
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,612
to an engineer.
134
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,398
The boy's parents have two Mercedes.
135
00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,192
-Two Mercedes?
-Lucky.
136
00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:02,775
[McEnroe] As the aunties praised her,
Kamala had a sinking feeling.
137
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,202
She didn't want to get married,
138
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,740
but she put on a happy face
139
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,373
like I did at the trophy ceremony
140
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:11,160
when I lost the French Open
to Ivan Lendl in 1984.
141
00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:12,615
I'm gonna go find Ron.
142
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,955
[sarcastically] Okay. I'll just stay here
and kill myself.
143
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:20,837
["Nagada Sang Dhol Baje" playing]
144
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,559
[McEnroe] Even though Devi was Indian,
145
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:38,024
she didn't think of herself
as Indian Indian like these girls,
146
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,686
which is a whole other thing.
147
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,114
So sometimes she felt
a little out of place.
148
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,283
They seem cool here,
149
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,741
but can you imagine how dorky
they would look doing this anywhere else?
150
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,833
That's my sister, Preethi.
151
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,238
Her Bollywood dance group
was in the Macy's Day Parade
152
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:53,497
on a float sponsored by Ziploc.
153
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,209
So who looks dorky now?
154
00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:59,173
[McEnroe] Damn, Devi. Preethi's sister
really schooled you. Read the room.
155
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,422
[song continues]
156
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,470
-[Devi] Harish.
-Devi, hey.
157
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,023
I was hoping I'd see someone cool here.
158
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,765
Do you know if anyone like that is coming?
159
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,153
[scoffs] Ouch, burn.
160
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,649
So why are you at this lame-fest?
161
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:22,610
Shouldn't you be at Stanford, like,
playing frisbee with a computer?
162
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:23,992
I actually really wanted to come.
163
00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:25,568
To Ganesh Puja?
164
00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:28,533
At a public high school in the Valley?
Are you insane?
165
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:31,034
Tell me the truth.
Did they send you home on medical leave?
166
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:33,042
Are you suicidal from Accutane?
167
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,159
[laughs] No.
168
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,325
Look, I know
I used to clown on this every year,
169
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,424
but the truth is, I kinda miss puja.
170
00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:39,749
Are you kidding?
171
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,254
When I get into Princeton,
I'm never coming back.
172
00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:44,758
I'm gonna be an atheist,
who eats cheeseburgers every day
173
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,129
with my white boyfriend.
174
00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:47,625
I thought I'd be that way too,
175
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,587
but it was different
when I went to college.
176
00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:51,717
My roommate, Nick, is Native American,
177
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,724
and he's so into being Native American.
178
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,886
At first, I was like,
"You're away from your parents.
179
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:58,725
You don't have to pretend
to care about your ancestry or whatever."
180
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,358
But then he took me
to their campus powwow.
181
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,859
No one was standing in the corner
making fun of it.
182
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:06,361
They were dancing and chanting,
183
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,744
and having a great time,
and it made me think,
184
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,741
"Why do I think it's so weird
and embarrassing to be Indian?"
185
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,164
[sarcastically] Where do I start?
186
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:16,002
How about every single thing
my mom has ever said and done?
187
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,828
I just thought, "Am I gonna be
this insecure Indian guy,
188
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,325
who hates doing Indian things?"
189
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,706
'Cause that's its own identity.
It's just a shitty one.
190
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:25,455
Well, that's definitely not my identity.
191
00:08:25,546 --> 00:08:27,006
I love being Indian. [scoffs]
192
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,925
[McEnroe] Real convincing, Devi.
193
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,048
I look more comfortable being Indian.
194
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:39,984
You need to spread Mohan's ashes.
195
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,231
I spread my mother's in the fountain
at the Bellagio.
196
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:43,653
She was a gambling addict.
197
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,648
That's very touching, um...
198
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,282
I just haven't had the time.
199
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,110
You know he cannot get into heaven
until you accept his death?
200
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,360
Oh.
201
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,447
I meant to ask you. Later today,
202
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,623
you think you can look at a few skin tags?
They're under my left breast.
203
00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:59,745
I'm really looking forward to it. Yeah.
204
00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:02,833
["Mehndi Laga Ke Rakhna" playing]
205
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,170
I'll find you later.
206
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:10,005
[song continues]
207
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,140
[McEnroe] This is Pandit Rajakrishnan,
208
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,312
but everyone calls him Pandit Raj.
209
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:22,691
He's the community spiritual leader
and also really knows how to work a room.
210
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:25,690
Now, everybody repeat after me.
211
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:31,066
[chants in Sanskrit]
212
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,571
Just kidding.
[chuckles] We'll do something easier.
213
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,789
[McEnroe] I like Pandit Raj.
He's got a good energy.
214
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:38,908
[Pandit] Come forward.
215
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,707
Have you spoken to Ron yet?
216
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,668
I've spent all morning kissing up
to Sanchiti.
217
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,748
I even told her
I would Botox her armpits for free.
218
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,294
Not yet. I can't find him.
219
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:48,087
You can't find
the one middle-aged white man
220
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,010
in a group of 500 Indian people?
221
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,129
Come forward.
We are ready for the next group.
222
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:54,216
-Give it to Pandit Raj.
-[Pandit] Nalini.
223
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:55,342
Thank you.
224
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:57,598
Pray you get into Princeton.
225
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,930
Don't waste your prayers
on stupid things like world peace.
226
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,143
[McEnroe] Praying had always been hard
for Devi.
227
00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,187
It was so easy to get distracted.
228
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,231
First, she would start praying
for the health of her mom and cousin,
229
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,686
but then would veer off,
thinking about homework,
230
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:13,986
or how in this kneeling position,
she could smell her deodorant.
231
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:16,873
So she really had to focus
on what she wanted:
232
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,699
an acceptance letter
from the college of her dreams...
233
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:22,075
[squeals and cheers]
234
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:23,790
[Nalini] Princeton!
235
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:28,251
...a sudden maturing
in certain areas of her body...
236
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:33,054
Hey.
237
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,682
...unexpected overtures
from certain people at school...
238
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:36,800
I think I love you.
239
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:41,971
...and hearing her mother say
the thing she most longed for.
240
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,428
I'm so proud of you.
241
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,734
And you can get your septum pierced.
242
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,729
But this year was different.
243
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,574
She didn't want her usual things.
244
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,440
[laughs] Don't miss.
245
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,356
[Mohan] Ah!
246
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,565
[laughs] In your face.
247
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,411
She wanted something else.
248
00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:03,371
[chanting]
249
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:05,665
Have tika.
250
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:09,377
[McEnroe] Meanwhile, Kamala knew
what exactly she was praying for.
251
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:13,710
For her fiance, Prashant, to fall in love
with someone in his doctorate program
252
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,508
at the University of Chicago,
253
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:17,511
and for their engagement to be over.
254
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,846
You do not wish to be married?
255
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:25,099
[McEnroe] Damn, Pandit Raj.
That's spooky as hell. You're good.
256
00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:30,819
Your hair is so black.
257
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:34,362
When my sister's husband died,
she stopped coloring her hair.
258
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:37,283
Well, I didn't want
to let myself go completely.
259
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,953
Mohan wouldn't have wanted that.
260
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:41,161
You just don't want to give people
the wrong idea.
261
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:44,952
What idea? That I love my husband less
because my roots aren't showing?
262
00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:46,709
Let's go inside.
263
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,039
I heard Roopa got fat.
264
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:59,337
[McEnroe] Bingo! White guy.
College counselor Ron.
265
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,222
Go get him, Devi.
266
00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:05,980
Hey, are you Ron Hansen-Bhattacharyya?
267
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:07,230
Yes.
268
00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:09,899
It's so nice to meet you.
My name is Devi Vishwakumar.
269
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,809
I'm a student
at this high school, actually.
270
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:12,817
Oh, cool.
271
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:15,355
Sherman Oaks High
is a good Ivy feeder school.
272
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:18,073
Although the college counselor Susan
is a joke.
273
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,034
Yeah. She's also the lunch lady.
274
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,623
-So, she's got a lot on her plate.
-Hmm.
275
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:26,370
I just wanted to say how interested
I would be in procuring your services.
276
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:27,907
Your stats are amazing.
277
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,917
Well, I don't know. I mean, I...
278
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:34,589
only got 28 kids into Ivies last year,
but I wanted 30.
279
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,300
The other two went to MIT,
280
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,090
but you can't win 'em all.
281
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:41,591
Well, I guess I can't relate
because I do win 'em all.
282
00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:44,757
I'm in all AP classes
and got a perfect score on my PSAT.
283
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,097
[McEnroe] Great segue, Devi. Effortless.
284
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,443
All while volunteering
at the kidney dialysis center.
285
00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:50,558
When I'm not doing that,
286
00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:52,484
I read Vietnam vets
their Bill O'Reilly books.
287
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:57,401
Okay, look... I can say this
because I married an Indian woman
288
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,565
and am a proud member
of this vibrant community.
289
00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:02,913
But schools don't want
another Indian try-hard,
290
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,160
who is president
of the padded resume club.
291
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:06,082
What? [scoffs]
292
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,120
Renal failure is what keeps me up
at night.
293
00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:10,455
Colleges want kids with unusual stories.
294
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:11,826
I had this kid.
295
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,626
He got into a car crash.
He was dead a full 30 seconds.
296
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,920
He said god told him to go to Yale.
It worked.
297
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,554
Uh, I outgrew a nut allergy,
so that's something.
298
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:25,642
-I actually know who you are.
-You do?
299
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:28,271
You're the girl whose dad died
in front of her at a concert
300
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:29,729
and became paralyzed.
301
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,389
[McEnroe] Devi couldn't believe
that the major trauma of her life
302
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,648
could be reduced to a single sentence,
but there it was.
303
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:37,401
Yeah. What about it?
304
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:41,647
That story is freaking amazing.
305
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:44,777
You have the golden ticket.
If you're willing to talk about it,
306
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,655
I bet I can get you
into any school you want.
307
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:49,622
But Devi didn't want to use the story
of her father's death
308
00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:53,543
as a way to make herself more interesting
to a bunch of admission committees.
309
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,214
No, I'm not gonna do that.
310
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:57,842
Well, without it, I don't get your angle.
311
00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:00,585
To be honest,
I don't see how you would be different
312
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,473
than any other Indian kid
applying to college.
313
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,720
I'm not like any other Indian kid,
314
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,932
and I'm not interesting
just because my dad died.
315
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,512
Then what makes you interesting?
316
00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:09,927
Oh, I don't know, Ron.
317
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,475
Maybe it's my perfect grades
or my killer test scores.
318
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,942
Or maybe it's my bitchin' personality
319
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,770
or my insane PowerPoint skills.
320
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,936
I don't need some washed-up white dude,
who leases a Tesla
321
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,105
telling me what makes me special.
322
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:24,953
Leasing is still a financial commitment!
323
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,494
And my monthly payment is quite high!
324
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,371
[Kamala] Oh, look, an open table.
325
00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:31,542
No, no. Come, come.
326
00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:36,328
Hey, kids, move.
327
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,537
Just take your slime and go.
328
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:38,956
Come on. People are still eating.
329
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:44,173
Why could we not sit there?
330
00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:45,628
That's Jaya Kuyavar.
331
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,888
She came from Chennai,
went to UCLA for her doctorate,
332
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:50,971
parents found her a nice boy
back home to marry.
333
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,806
Then she ran off with an American man.
334
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,232
-A Muslim.
-[Kamala gasps]
335
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,400
Parents never spoke to her again.
336
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:57,648
Did they come for the wedding?
337
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,020
Are you out of your mind?
You heard me say he was a Muslim.
338
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:01,402
I feel bad for her.
339
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:03,532
-We should sit with her.
-Mm-mm.
340
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,946
Can't risk it right now.
341
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,780
We're already borderline outcasts.
342
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,123
Devi, what did you do?
343
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:12,239
I heard from half a dozen aunties
that you yelled at college counselor Ron,
344
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,698
and made fum of his electric car!
345
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:14,747
He deserved it.
346
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:17,330
He said I'm just like any other Indian kid
applying to college.
347
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,956
It was so offensive!
348
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,503
So disappointed in you.
349
00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:23,052
[sighs]
350
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,628
-I'm gonna eat somewhere else.
-Please go.
351
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,597
Is this yours?
352
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,845
-Oh, thank you so much!
-Yeah.
353
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,227
You left it on the table.
354
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,363
The table you were sitting at
after you and your aunt
355
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:42,860
made a beeline to get away from me.
356
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,822
No, we weren't trying to avoid you.
357
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:48,282
You seemed so popular, we didn't want
to take up seats for your friends.
358
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:49,778
Oh.
359
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:52,622
Sure.
360
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:56,459
Hey, um... I need a break
from these aunties.
361
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,881
You want to go check out
the vending machines? My treat?
362
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:01,132
Okay.
363
00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:07,628
Yeah, so basically, I'm the Hester Prynne
of the Indian community
364
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:08,966
in the San Fernando Valley.
365
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:11,301
I wish I had
a less ninth-grade-book analogy for it,
366
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,467
but it's accurate.
367
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:15,805
So you're ultimately very happy
with your decision
368
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,351
even though you got divorced?
369
00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:18,564
Of course not.
370
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:19,524
[sighs] No.
371
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:20,523
I mean look at me.
372
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:23,734
My closest Indian friend
is a woman I met seven minutes ago.
373
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:27,066
No. I wish I had just listened
to my family
374
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:28,612
and married the guy that they chose.
375
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:30,779
Then maybe I wouldn't be divorced.
376
00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:32,954
You know, my kids ask
about their grandparents,
377
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:35,583
and...
[sighs] I don't know what to tell them.
378
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:36,913
Maybe they'll get over it.
379
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:39,671
Do you have a sibling,
who could have a drug problem
380
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,748
or go to community college?
That would help.
381
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,634
No, I got two brothers,
both neurosurgeons,
382
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:48,132
had a double-arranged wedding
with millionaire Hindu sisters.
383
00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:49,045
Oh. [laughs]
384
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,798
As my cousin would say,
"That sucks a fat one."
385
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,255
[chuckes] Yeah, I agree.
386
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:57,732
[sighs] Anyway, I think I'm going
to head out.
387
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,017
You know, these things
aren't really that fun
388
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,692
when everyone is whispering about you.
389
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,773
But hey, good luck on your engagement...
390
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:08,150
and don't screw it up, yeah?
391
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:09,534
[chuckles]
392
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:21,995
Devi?
393
00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:25,586
Paxton! What are you doing here?
394
00:17:25,669 --> 00:17:28,169
Swim practice.
What are you doing here?
395
00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:30,625
Just... Ganesh Puja.
396
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:31,926
It's a weird Indian thing.
397
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:32,839
Oh.
398
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,012
What do you do for it?
399
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:38,064
We eat and pray to Ganesh.
400
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,599
[sighs] He's the elephant god.
401
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:42,484
He's sort of a big deal to Indians.
402
00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:43,983
I mean Hindus.
403
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:47,613
'Cause, you know, there are
Muslim Indians, Sikh Indians, Jains, and--
404
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,281
-Honestly--
-You don't have to give me
405
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,069
the Wikipedia page on India.
406
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,203
Sorry.
407
00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:55,696
So is part of Ganesh Puja
kicking lockers in anger?
408
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:58,203
No, that was unrelated.
That didn't have...
409
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,079
[chuckles] You were joking.
410
00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:06,126
No, I just got mad,
which is something I'm working on.
411
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:08,497
You do have kind of a temper, huh?
412
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:09,837
It's not my fault.
413
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,512
Some old loser was telling me
that I'm too Indian,
414
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,761
and some other people think
I'm not Indian enough.
415
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,973
And honestly,
all I want to do is eat a doughnut,
416
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:18,354
but I'm stuck here.
417
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,719
Eh. Who cares what other people think?
418
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:22,979
You do you, Vishwakumar.
419
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,649
Also, you look cool in that outfit.
420
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,863
[McEnroe] Did he just say
she looked good?
421
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,862
Holy shit. Maybe she wasn't
as friendzoned as she thought.
422
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,703
Okay. I've had my fill of socializing.
423
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,406
-Are you ready to head home?
-Yeah.
424
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,666
-You see Devi anywhere?
-I do not.
425
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:46,168
Perhaps she's gotten her arms stuck
426
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,960
in the vending machine
trying to steal chips.
427
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:49,043
It's happened before.
428
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,208
I'll go check.
429
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:51,921
-Nalini.
-Yes?
430
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:52,915
Are you leaving?
431
00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:55,376
Ah, yes. I think it's that time.
432
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,473
It was so great
to see you out of the house
433
00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,473
-and Devi back on her feet.
-Thank you.
434
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,515
Let me know if she stops walking again,
435
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,348
because I have a cousin in medical sales
436
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:05,563
who can get you
a very nice wheelchair for cheap.
437
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:06,484
Hello, ladies.
438
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,652
-Namaste, Pandit Raj.
-Hello, Pandit-ji
439
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,860
Would one of you
be able to give me a ride?
440
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,988
[McEnroe] The day had been a long one
for Nalini,
441
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:16,108
and she needed a win,
even if it was a small one.
442
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:17,276
I can.
443
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:21,285
Oh, wonderful. Could you take me
to The Home Depot?
444
00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:22,658
It would be my pleasure.
445
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:25,963
Great. There's a beautiful fountain
I've had my eye on.
446
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:28,792
[Pandit] This is very kind of you.
447
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,496
I could've taken an Uber.
448
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,046
Our Pandit in an Uber?
449
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,259
What's next?
Prime Minister Modi on Postmates?
450
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:35,879
Over my dead body.
451
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,008
I really enjoyed puja today.
452
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,343
I like the incense you used.
453
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:40,968
It was like we were in a cannabis store.
454
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:43,721
Thank you. You can buy it on my website...
455
00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:45,807
coolhindude.com
456
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:51,574
Anyhow, I hope you all found some clarity
in your prayers today.
457
00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:52,818
For sure. One hundred percent.
458
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:53,900
Very much so, Pandit-ji.
459
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:05,584
[Pandit] Wonderful.
460
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:08,421
Thanks for the ride.
461
00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:10,536
I found the car very comfortable.
462
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:12,206
Our pleasure, Pandit-ji.
463
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:13,464
Though there is pain,
464
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:16,916
the pain will subside
because you are a good family.
465
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,803
And god will always see that.
466
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,184
[recites blessing in Sanskrit]
467
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,019
Where do you want to go to college?
468
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,940
-[sighs] Princeton.
-I will bring it up to god personally.
469
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,270
[both chuckle]
470
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,607
Thanks for the ride. Go, Lakers!
471
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:40,454
["Waking Up" by Sorry Girls playing]
472
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:43,160
♪ Well, baby, I’m waking up ♪
473
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:47,658
♪ To see the ways that I’ve been blinded ♪
474
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,916
♪ By the lovelight in my eyes ♪
475
00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:55,916
♪ I wanna send it all crashing down ♪
476
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:57,915
♪ Down to the ground ♪
477
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,009
♪ Down, down ♪
478
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:03,178
♪ Down to where it all went wrong ♪
479
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:05,848
♪ Down, down to the ground ♪
480
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,850
♪ Down, down ♪
481
00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:11,138
♪ Down to the root of everything ♪
482
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:14,110
♪ All I know is what I want ♪
483
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:18,820
♪ Maybe, baby
Maybe, baby ♪
484
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:22,029
♪ All I know is what I want ♪
485
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:26,911
♪ Maybe, baby
Maybe, baby ♪
486
00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:30,118
♪ Maybe I'm waking up ♪