1 00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:14,305 [man] I want my treasure chest. 2 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,766 I want my treasure chest. 3 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:19,436 I want it and I'm gonna get it. 4 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,274 Where's my treasure chest? 5 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:27,110 Come out. I want my treasure chest. 6 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,611 Let me in. 7 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,238 This is where I used to live. 8 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:32,240 Is anybody in there? 9 00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,617 I want my treasure chest. I want it! 10 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:38,705 ["Big Flame (Is Gonna Break My Heart In Two)" by Doris Wilson playing] 11 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,005 -[woman sighs contentedly] -Ah, what a perfect day. 12 00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:49,591 -Uh, sweetie? -Yeah, honey. 13 00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:52,052 The horse you're on has a huge penis. 14 00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:53,887 I'd like to get off now. 15 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:56,097 I'm not having any fun. 16 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:58,224 [scoffs] Then we wasted our money. 17 00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,851 [man] Sound familiar? 18 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:03,480 It's a beautiful fall day, and you're riding with a loved one, 19 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:07,192 when all of a sudden, you're made to feel less of a man. 20 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,944 You can't compete with these horse hogs. 21 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:11,738 And now you don't need to. 22 00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,782 Here at Fenton's Stables and Horse Ranch, 23 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:17,077 we guarantee our horses have a smaller penis than a human man. 24 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,829 ♪ Fenton's Stables and Horse Ranch ♪ 25 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:23,500 ♪ Where the horses are hung like you ♪ 26 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:24,918 Meet Starry Night here. 27 00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,712 At first glance, he appears to be a normal horse. 28 00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:29,422 But you check his undercarriage, 29 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,758 and he's the same size as you and I. 30 00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:35,887 Is it easy to find a horse with a short peanut like this? 31 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,972 No, it's damn near impossible. 32 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,975 That's why our ancestors started breeding out the big penis gene 33 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,894 in our horses generations ago. 34 00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:46,147 In fact, this year, we were excited to welcome 35 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:49,234 our first five-inch horse penis. 36 00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:52,070 Tragically, he passed early this year. 37 00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,113 Killed himself. 38 00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:55,240 Yeah, he jumped off a cliff. 39 00:01:58,159 --> 00:02:00,912 Ha! Is that what they mean by "hung like a horse"? 40 00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:03,164 -I guess. -But yours is bigger than that. 41 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,541 -Is it? -Mm-hm. 42 00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:06,084 Bigger than a horse's? 43 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,377 I like the sound of that. 44 00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,170 Thanks, Fenton's. 45 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,756 ♪ Fenton's Stables and Horse Ranch ♪ 46 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:16,302 ♪ Where you're the one that's hung ♪ 47 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:20,181 [funky music playing] 48 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,684 [man] Live from Hollywood, California, 49 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:26,146 -[cheering and applause] -it's Dan Vega's Mega Money Quiz! 50 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,356 Hi! I'm Dan Vega. 51 00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:29,858 Let's get started. 52 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,734 [applause] 53 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,320 Our contestants, Paul and Colleen, 54 00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:37,699 will flip a square from our Mega Money Board, 55 00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,450 and it will show a dollar amount. 56 00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:42,495 -But, remember, watch out for the Chunky. -[chirruping] 57 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,707 Chunky eats your points and he gets very mad. 58 00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:49,127 Colleen, you're up first. Pick a square on the board. 59 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,504 -[applause] -Second row, four down from the left. 60 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,089 Five hundred dollars. 61 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,465 [cheering and applause] 62 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:57,719 This red condiment can be put on hamburgers. 63 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:58,845 Ketchup? 64 00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:01,014 Right! Five hundred dollars on the board for you. 65 00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:02,932 -[applause] -Good job! 66 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,517 Paul, you are up. 67 00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,769 Okay, third row, second down. 68 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,271 Okay, let's flip her over. 69 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:10,481 -It's a Chunky! -[horn blaring, chirruping] 70 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:13,651 -[hip hop beat playing] -Uh-oh! You got a Chunky! 71 00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:15,612 Uh-oh, Chunky's here! 72 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,488 He's gobbling up your points. 73 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:20,450 [music stops] 74 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,535 [silence] 75 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:25,705 [weakly imitates a scream] 76 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:29,209 What are you going to do with... What's the plan? 77 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:30,752 [uptempo jingle playing] 78 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:32,545 He's eating your points. 79 00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:34,255 [chuckles] 80 00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:36,507 All right. 81 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:37,717 Okay. 82 00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,052 Ow! 83 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,554 Stop! Aargh, he's pulling on my shirt! 84 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:42,722 [contestant struggling] 85 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:43,640 Off! 86 00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:47,185 What the hell are you doing, Chunky? You can't wreck his shirt. 87 00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:50,021 You have to figure out what Chunky does 88 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:53,983 -before you come out here. Go! -What the fuck, man? He wrecked my shirt. 89 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,027 Don't swear! 90 00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:57,737 Oh, my God! 91 00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:01,032 What game show have you ever seen that had swearing in it? 92 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,034 [host] Ach, eesh! 93 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:05,954 All right, Colleen, you have control of the board. 94 00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:08,331 Um, third row, third one down. 95 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:11,251 -Three hundred dollars. All right! -[applause] 96 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:16,506 Melted or cold, from the cow's udders, over time, it will grow mold. 97 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,132 Is it cheese? 98 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:21,135 -That's right. It is cheese. -[cheering and applause] 99 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:23,096 All right, Paul, you have control of the board. 100 00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,223 Fourth row, four down. 101 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:26,808 -Uh-oh! -[horn blaring] 102 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:29,185 It's a Chunky! 103 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,313 -[hip hop beat playing] -[host] Oh, frick. What do you... 104 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:35,441 -What's this? You have a bag? -What the hell? That's my backpack. 105 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,318 You got his bag. What are you gonna do with it? 106 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,154 Hey, that's my laptop. Don't touch that. Put that back. 107 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,489 What are you doing with that? 108 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:42,907 -Hey! -[host] Don't... Put that-- 109 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,325 -No! -[host] Chunky! 110 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,326 Tell him to stop! 111 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,203 Don't break his laptop. That's expensive. 112 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,289 Thank you. 113 00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:52,083 -No! -What did I just say?! 114 00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:54,377 Don't break his fricking laptop! 115 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,878 -You got to pay for that. -I don't. 116 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,256 -[Chunky] I was just trying-- -Well, don't talk! 117 00:04:58,506 --> 00:04:59,966 You can't talk! 118 00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:02,969 Chunky, the mouth on the... Don't come over by me! 119 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:04,554 Stay over there! 120 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,639 Figure out what you do! 121 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,517 -[uptempo jingle playing] -You had all summer to think of it. 122 00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:12,020 -[jingle stops] -Okay, Paul, 123 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,480 you just went. You have control of the board again. 124 00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,024 [sighs] 125 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,609 Third down, fourth row. 126 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,987 -That's a Chunky. -You didn't even turn it over. 127 00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,447 I came up with this game. 128 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,824 I know what all the little things are. 129 00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:26,993 Oh, my God. 130 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:29,495 What is it? What are you doing with the bag, Chunky? 131 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:31,456 -A hat? -That's my hat. 132 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:32,623 What is that thing? 133 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,792 -You want to put the hat on him? -[audience member] Yeah! 134 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,003 Yeah, okay, let's see what that does. 135 00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:38,671 -[uptempo jingle playing] -Stop! Stop. 136 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,549 Ow! What... is this? 137 00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:45,762 Fine, I'm wearing my own hat! 138 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,513 [audience booing and hissing] 139 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,515 We haven't been to the board in a long time. 140 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,726 Yeah, I know Colleen. This show is gonna suck. 141 00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:53,394 We just got to figure out, like, 142 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,355 what Chunky's deal is. Like-- 143 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:58,941 -[Chunky] Well, don't throw away-- -Don't talk! 144 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,944 The mouth on the thing doesn't move! 145 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:04,364 -It looks fake! -[end of round jingle playing] 146 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,074 Yeah, that's a good idea. Dump it. 147 00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:09,243 ♪ Baby, baby, baby, baby, ba-ba-bay ♪ 148 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:12,246 ♪ Mmm, baby, baby, ba-ba-bay ♪ 149 00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:16,209 I'm sorry, guys. It's gonna be another ten, fifteen if you can hang tight? 150 00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,211 [clicks tongue] 151 00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:20,505 Have you guys seen that YouTube video 152 00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:23,383 of the dancing lady in the clown mask who falls off the couch? 153 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:24,717 -So funny. -It's so funny. 154 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,136 -So funny. Jessie, you'd love it. -Let's put it on. 155 00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,473 Yeah, it's like the second one down. 156 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,725 [hip hop music playing on video] 157 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,394 [chuckling] 158 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:40,942 I mean, she's, like, unconscious. 159 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:43,569 Seen the one where the weatherman accidentally draws a penis? 160 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,154 -No. Pull it up. -You got to pull it up. 161 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,656 -No, I haven't seen that. -This one? 162 00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,449 The second one. Yeah, right there. 163 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:52,495 And with a cold front moving in from the northeast, it's going-- 164 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:53,454 Shit. 165 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,206 [all laughing] 166 00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:58,042 -He, like, had to have gotten fired. -Have you seen the one with the kid 167 00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,794 who puts the glow stick in the microwave? 168 00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:01,212 The dad is so funny. 169 00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,423 -So funny, right? -He's fucking nuts. 170 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:07,468 -Reggie, what's your favorite? -Uh, I don't know what my favorite is. 171 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:08,636 Well, what's a funny one? 172 00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:10,680 Oh, God, there's like... 173 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:15,643 tons I can think of that just blow me away. 174 00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:18,146 It's fine if you, like, don't have one. 175 00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,397 I have one. 176 00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,732 We all have one. I have one. 177 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:25,903 I just can't remember exactly how you type it in. 178 00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:28,698 Well, I can search for it. What happens in it? 179 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,700 It's so funny. 180 00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:32,785 I just can't remember, like... 181 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,455 how to search for it. 182 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,961 Well, just let us know when you remember it. 183 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:42,920 I just can't remember. 184 00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,298 I can't remember how to search it. What... 185 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,888 Uh, you know what we have to watch? 186 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:55,224 We have to watch the guy with the newscaster on the roller coaster. 187 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,476 Yes, so funny. 188 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,102 -It's so funny. -So funny. 189 00:07:58,186 --> 00:07:59,020 [man] So funny. 190 00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,605 [Jessie] Pull it up. 191 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:02,940 -[woman] It's so funny. -[man] It's so funny. 192 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:06,068 -[menacing ambient music playing] -[Jessie] It is so good. 193 00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,279 -[woman] So funny. -[man] Yes. 194 00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:09,280 [all laughing] 195 00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:10,364 [Jessie] It's so funny. 196 00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:12,408 [man] So funny! 197 00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:15,953 ["Blending Soul" by Soul Blenders playing] 198 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:18,664 Okay, so I talked to Marcus, 199 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,917 and he's gonna take care of catering for the whole thing. 200 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:22,793 So we're gonna have hors d'oeuvres, 201 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,253 and then mini pizzas, 202 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,215 shared salads, and, of course, little cupcakes 203 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,300 with baby Debbie's name written on them. 204 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,512 That's perfect. Christine is gonna love that. 205 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,889 This is gonna be such a nice baby shower! 206 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:38,434 Oh, we should do, like, a little gift bag for everybody. 207 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,103 -That's a great idea. -How much do we want to spend? 208 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,356 I think maybe around $200 makes sense. 209 00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:47,026 Oh, maybe we could give everybody little individual bottles of champagne. 210 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,694 Oh, that's a good idea. 211 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,696 People also love those macarons. 212 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:51,864 You know? So good. 213 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:55,326 Yeah, what about Stanzo brand fedoras? 214 00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:58,454 What? 215 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,667 Stanzo brand fedoras in each of the gift bags. 216 00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:04,085 Those Stanzos are nice. 217 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:07,004 I mean, I don't know about fedoras for a baby shower, though. 218 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:07,922 They're nice. 219 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:11,842 For $200, I could probably get 50 Stanzo brand fedoras. 220 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,803 Yeah, I don't think we're gonna do the fedoras. 221 00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:16,931 You know what's cute that I saw on Etsy? 222 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:18,599 Little baby-toed flip-flops. 223 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:22,520 -Oh! -Or what about, like, a little candle? 224 00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,063 Oh, that's cool. 225 00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:27,024 Or what about a thousand plastic meatballs? 226 00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:29,485 To put in the gift bags? 227 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,403 Yeah. 228 00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:33,114 They don't go bad or stink or nothing. 229 00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:38,160 For $200, I could probably get a thousand plastic meatballs. 230 00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,913 Maybe we should keep thinking. 231 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:42,915 Okay. 232 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,625 Oh, I know. 233 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,837 What about, like, one of those little things with soaps and lotions 234 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,880 -from Bath & Body Works? -Oh, I like that. 235 00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,757 You know what I saw once I thought was cute? 236 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:52,675 Tommy guns. 237 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:55,511 My friends aren't gonna buy the crap from your mob movie. 238 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,887 What mob movie? 239 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:59,473 -It fell apart 'cause it fucking sucked. -Goddamn it. 240 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,267 -[man] You brought it up. -[woman] I didn't. 241 00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,060 I didn't even know you still had that stuff. 242 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,562 Where would it be? 243 00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:07,481 Nobody wants a thousand plastic meatballs! 244 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,401 They don't even look real! They look like little pieces of shit! 245 00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:12,278 [woman] You just said they look real. 246 00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,322 [man] To them. I need to unload them. 247 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:15,531 [woman] These are my friends! 248 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,701 They... They look... They look real. 249 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,703 They don't look like little pieces of shit. 250 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,663 -We won't do the meatballs. -You're blowing it. 251 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:23,998 -We're doing the candles. -Yeah. 252 00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:26,334 We're gonna do individual little bottles of champagne. 253 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,294 And then if we have any money left over-- 254 00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:29,837 Fifty black slicked-back-hair wigs. 255 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:31,464 What are you saying? 256 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:34,383 Fifty black slicked-back-hair wigs. 257 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,843 Fifty black slicked-back-hair wigs. 258 00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:37,428 How much money did you put in this? 259 00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:39,263 I thought it was gonna be a hit! 260 00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,474 It turns out it fucking sucks! 261 00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:49,315 Maybe we could buy a few fedoras. 262 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:54,820 It's got... 263 00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:56,947 I... It's got... 264 00:10:57,031 --> 00:11:00,117 You kinda got to buy 'em in bulk, otherwise it's not worth it for me. 265 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,495 So we have to buy all 50 of them? 266 00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:05,665 It needs to be quality on my end, otherwise no fucking deal. 267 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,841 Oh, my God, these stink! 268 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:16,842 They're Stanzos. 269 00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:18,844 They're nice. 270 00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:23,808 [as mob movie character] Hey! Who took my cigars? 271 00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:29,438 [slowed] Who took my cigars? 272 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,066 [Tommy gun firing] 273 00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:41,617 [funky music playing] 274 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,085 She said she's gonna be another 15 minutes. 275 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,379 Okay, so what are we watching? 276 00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:54,755 Okay, I just saw this new video. 277 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,340 It's called Wine Stomp Lady. 278 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,383 I saw that. 279 00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:59,885 I don't want to wreck it, but why is she even up there? 280 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:00,803 I have one. 281 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,639 Oh, nice, Reggie. What is it? 282 00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:06,600 Have you guys ever seen Bozo Dubbed Over? 283 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,310 Like Bozo the Clown? 284 00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:09,937 Have you seen it? It's hilarious. 285 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,188 No, let's watch it. 286 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:13,607 Type in "Bozo Dubbed Over," 287 00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:16,152 and there's spaces between each of the words. 288 00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:18,446 Is this it? 289 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:20,573 Yes. 290 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:24,160 It has one view, and it says it was uploaded at 6:00 a.m. this morning. 291 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,412 Have you seen it? It's hilarious. 292 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,624 [circus music playing on video] 293 00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:34,086 [man] Oh, fuck. 294 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,547 What the fuck? 295 00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:39,133 I'm not even supposed to be here. 296 00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:41,552 I hope I don't jack off. 297 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:42,970 What is this, Reggie? 298 00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:46,098 I guess it's, like, a viral video where Bozo dubs over. 299 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:49,393 [man] Oh, fuck, a clownputer? 300 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:52,563 Fuck that. Probably got no games. 301 00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:55,357 I hope nobody goes home and fucks my mom. 302 00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,151 Hilarious, right? 303 00:12:57,234 --> 00:13:00,070 [man] What the fuck's that? Like a little circle? 304 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,948 Oh, fuck! I thought this guy's supposed to be bald! 305 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,492 What is this guy trying to do? 306 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:07,828 Is this supposed to be what Bozo's thinking or saying? 307 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,664 What guy? It's Bozo. Bozo did it. 308 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,541 Bozo did... what? 309 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:13,959 Bozo did the dub. 310 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,545 He's doing the dub. 311 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,589 Bozo is, not a guy. 312 00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:20,633 [man] Um, okay. 313 00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:23,302 This guy's about to jack off. 314 00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:26,639 I feel like it makes more sense that a different guy is dubbing over it. 315 00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:31,268 No, he's saying what he wanted to say on the show now. 316 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,771 Bozo is. That's Bozo's voice. 317 00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:36,982 [man] This little fucking bike's a piece of shit. 318 00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:42,154 Reggie, did you make this thing last night so you'd have a video to show? 319 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,240 [pensive ambient music playing] 320 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:47,910 [Reggie] No. 321 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:51,831 ["Big Flame (Is Gonna Break My Heart In Two)" by Doris Wilson playing] 322 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,291 [man] I thought Mark was doing better. 323 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,545 Well, last night, Mark fell down and nearly hit his head on the counter. 324 00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:00,297 His drinking has really gotten out of control. 325 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:01,549 It's hard, I know. 326 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:04,844 But if we're actually his friends, we have to do this intervention. 327 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:06,387 I can do Friday. 328 00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,347 -That works for me. -We could do it at my house. 329 00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:09,598 [door slams] 330 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:10,891 We could do it at my house. 331 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,936 It's the most comfortable, it can fit everyone. It's the perfect trap. 332 00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:16,814 Plus, it's already like a party house, so he'll want to go there. 333 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,983 Isn't your house kinda far away? 334 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,652 Yeah, but it's like a complete party house. 335 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,197 And bring snacks so it feels like a real party. 336 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,366 Dawn - chips, Pat - pop, and... 337 00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:30,452 Jake, why not cook something?  Like a hot dip or something. 338 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:31,704 A hot dip? 339 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:33,455 A hot dip or something. 340 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,790 Yeah, bring it to my house. 341 00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,417 It's settled then. Friday. 342 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,377 Let's bust the fucker. [laughs] 343 00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:43,674 [sighs] 344 00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:44,758 Come on in. 345 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,969 Watch your step. There's a lot of stuff around 346 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,679 'cause it's a big party house, so... 347 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:56,729 Whoa! 348 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,315 -What is this place? -[homeowner] Take a seat, Mark. 349 00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:01,358 Sorry, bud, no partying tonight. 350 00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:03,277 I'm afraid to say this is your intervention. 351 00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:04,778 What the fuck? 352 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:05,738 You're busted, man. 353 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:06,989 No, I mean... 354 00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:09,199 what is happening with your house? 355 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:12,286 -What the hell is all this stuff? -Yeah, should we do this somewhere else? 356 00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:13,329 Sit down. 357 00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,998 We're not fucking around here. Right, guys? 358 00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:18,876 That chair reclines, by the way. 359 00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,210 The tongue sticks out. 360 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:27,259 "Mark... 361 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,552 [poignant music playing] 362 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:29,845 you used to be my best friend. 363 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:31,597 We were like brothers, 364 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,725 going to the movies together, traveling, playing sports. 365 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,938 To see something be in control of you, and see you drinking it all away... 366 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,482 -[whispers] All Garfield. -"Do you know how hard that is for me? 367 00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:43,150 Brother, I love you,  368 00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,444 but I can't watch you do this to yourself anymore. 369 00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:47,947 You need help." 370 00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:53,410 Mark... 371 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,289 your drinking has made you a totally different person. 372 00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,918 You've lost your lust for life. I'll never forget the day that I told you 373 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,671 that I bought Jim Davis' house, the creator of Garfield. 374 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,215 You just sat there, stared at me... 375 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,425 like I didn't just tell you I bought Jim Davis' house... 376 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,052 fully furnished! 377 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,805 And I read the e-mail that you wrote when you were drunk. 378 00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,849 I saw how you said I spent all my money on the Jim Davis house. 379 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:18,018 How I wasted all my money on the Garfield house, 380 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:21,146 and how it's all I talk about. But you know what you didn't say? 381 00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:23,816 How it came fully furnished. 382 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:33,826 "Mark, this is the hardest letter I've ever had to write. 383 00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,996 When you showed up at my house at two in the morning, 384 00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,706 drunk off your ass, 385 00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,290 you scared my kids. 386 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:41,875 I'll never forget--" 387 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,752 And I'll never forget when I woke up at 3 a.m., 388 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,087 and heard pounding on the door. 389 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:46,964 It was Jim Davis. 390 00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:48,966 He forgot that he didn't live here anymore. 391 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:50,968 He came in, he pushed me around. 392 00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:53,053 He goes, "Hey,  where's the Garfield treasure chest?" 393 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,097 I said, "Dude, back off. I don't know. 394 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,682 I didn't touch a goddamn thing." 395 00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,434 Meanwhile, where are you? 396 00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:02,688 Drunk little bitch, you make me sick. 397 00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:06,567 Guys... I just looked it up. 398 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:09,153 Jim Davis never owned this house. 399 00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:10,904 What the fuck are you talking about? Who lived here? 400 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,656 A guy who tried to kill Jim Davis. 401 00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:16,744 So you're saying I spent, like, three hours in a Garfield-shaped hot tub 402 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,037 with a murderer? 403 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,330 -[alarm beeping] -Oh, my God! 404 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,708 It's the guy who tried to kill Jim Davis! 405 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,084 I'm Garfield. 406 00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:25,753 What is going on? 407 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:27,254 [laughs] 408 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,465 [Garfield recording] I hate Mondays. 409 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,008 I hate Mondays. 410 00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:32,760 I hate Mondays. 411 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,803 -[distorted] Garfield! -I hate Mondays. 412 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:38,390 ["Big Flame (Is Gonna Break My Heart In Two)" by Doris Wilson playing] 413 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,695 ♪ There's a flame, a flame ♪ 414 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:54,865 ♪ A big flame in my heart ♪ 415 00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,575 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 416 00:17:57,242 --> 00:18:02,456 ♪ And believe me When I say it's burning hot ♪ 417 00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:04,083 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 418 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:08,003 ♪ It's burning for you ♪ 419 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:12,841 ♪ Even though we are through ♪ 420 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:17,930 ♪ This big flame, boy, is gonna Break my heart in two ♪