1 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,264 [laughter] 2 00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,390 Thanks so much. 3 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:18,476 Well, now I'm looking for a volunteer from the audience. 4 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,771 Okay. Let's welcome him on stage. Come on up. 5 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:22,814 [laughs] 6 00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:23,982 -What's your name? -Charlie. 7 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,775 -Charlie, so nice to meet you. -You too. 8 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,902 Charlie, we're gonna do just a quick sobriety test. 9 00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:28,903 -Can you do that? -Yeah. 10 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:31,156 -How many balls do I have in my hand? -One. 11 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,116 These aren't supposed to be hard yet, Charlie. 12 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,035 [crowd laughs] I'll slow it down for you. Okay. 13 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:38,288 Charlie, all I want you to do is remember which hand the ball is in. 14 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,622 -Can you do that? -I think so. 15 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:40,623 He thinks so. 16 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,460 Confidence is not your strong suit, neither is your suit-suit. 17 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:44,419 All right, Charlie, 18 00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:47,172 I just want you to focus on which hand the ball is in. 19 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,506 -Okay. -And I'll give you a hint. 20 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,425 It's not this one. 21 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,927 -Right here? -Goddamn it, Charlie. 22 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,013 You had one job. I'll give you one last chance. 23 00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:56,306 Which hand is it in? 24 00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:58,808 -Right here? -No, Charlie, it's in your pocket. 25 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,062 Give him a round of applause. It's Charlie. 26 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,396 Give it up for him. 27 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,689 [laughter] 28 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,275 All right, ladies and gentlemen, 29 00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:10,779 the next trick is something that kept me out of college for... 30 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,155 That was really fun. 31 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:15,158 God, I'm so full. 32 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:17,535 If I didn't have to drive, 33 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:21,664 I would have probably took them up on that offer of the bourbon flight. 34 00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:23,416 That's so cool. 35 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,793 [sighs wearily] 36 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,669 We should do dancing next. 37 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:31,299 So the babysitter did art with the kids. That's cool. 38 00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:32,717 [chuckles] 39 00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:35,845 Such a fun night. 40 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:39,349 Good night, sweetie. Love you. 41 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,817 [woman] Why the fuck didn't you stick up for yourself? 42 00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:53,696 -What? -Why the fuck 43 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,324 didn't you stick up for yourself, 44 00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:58,159 you fucking coward? 45 00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:03,206 What are you talking about? 46 00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,958 The magician, Charlie. 47 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,501 He embarrassed you. 48 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:07,919 What? 49 00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:10,171 He brought you on stage, 50 00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,507 and he insulted your intelligence. 51 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:15,635 He made fun of how you look, and you did nothing. 52 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,053 [laughs] 53 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,682 No, he was just joking around. He was a funny magician. 54 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:24,936 That fat piece of shit made you look like a fool, Charlie. 55 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:28,690 He basically pulled your little dick out in front of everyone 56 00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:31,776 and jerked you off until nothing came out, 57 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,903 because you are a boy. 58 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,948 No, that is not what happened. 59 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:37,866 Look... 60 00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,202 we will stay married 61 00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:45,248 and raise the kids until they're out of the house, 62 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,793 but I will not respect you, 63 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,212 and I'll make sure the kids don't either. 64 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:55,091 Oh, my God, it was just a magic act, Brenda. 65 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,928 You make ten times what he makes. Why didn't you say that to him? 66 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,140 -I don't know if that would've helped. -Right, maybe it wouldn't have helped. 67 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:03,558 I'm glad you had fun 68 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:07,353 while everyone else had to watch an adult man 69 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,315 jerk your little-boy dick off. 70 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,401 Jesus Christ. 71 00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:16,446 -[applause] -[magician] Now... Thank you. 72 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:19,324 I'd like to pick from the audience any volunteer. 73 00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:20,366 -Someone-- -Yeah! 74 00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:21,868 I'll do it. 75 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,872 Is that... That's a familiar face. 76 00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:28,458 We don't usually do that, but welcome him to the stage. 77 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,627 -[applause] -Hello. How are you? Terrific. 78 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,170 I don't have a boy dick. 79 00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:35,840 Okay. Okay, that's fine. Uh... 80 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,885 I make ten times as much as you. 81 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,930 Well, you wouldn't know it from the suit. 82 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,306 [laughter] 83 00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:46,935 [yells] You ruined my fucking life! 84 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:52,565 ["Big Flame (Is Gonna Break My Heart In Two)" by Doris Wilson] 85 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,112 We here at Ford would like to thank you 86 00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,198 for agreeing to be part of this focus group. 87 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,116 Your ideas will actually be used 88 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,910 in helping us create a brand-new model. 89 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:05,745 There are no wrong answers. 90 00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:07,038 So let's go around the room, 91 00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:09,165 and you just go ahead and call out features 92 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,626 you'd love to see implemented in your ideal car. 93 00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:12,585 Whenever you're ready. 94 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,630 -Bluetooth capabilities. -Great. 95 00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:17,715 -Voice-activated lights. -Perfect. 96 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,300 -Satellite radio. -Mm-hm. 97 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,844 -Extra cup holders. -And a phone holder. 98 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:25,181 A good steering wheel that doesn't fly off while you're driving. 99 00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:28,309 [man] Rear-view camera. 100 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,478 -Comfy seats. -A good steering wheel 101 00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:33,439 that doesn't fly off your hand while you're driving. 102 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,194 Uh, automatic side-view mirrors. 103 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,904 A great steering wheel 104 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:43,241 that doesn't whiff out of the window while I driving. 105 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,076 That is a good idea. 106 00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:46,286 Yeah, I wrote it down. 107 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,287 Oh, nice. 108 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,373 Okay, what do we think it should look like? 109 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,666 -Sleek. -Good. 110 00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:52,792 High-tech. 111 00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,460 -Aerodynamic. -Too small. 112 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:56,796 -I'm sorry? -Too small. 113 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,257 So when you get in there, you're like, 114 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:03,052 "If the steering wheel fly off, I'm toast." 115 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,763 Look, I-- Okay, I don't know why we'd make it too small. 116 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:08,808 I think it's a good idea, and I stand by. 117 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,728 -Okay. -And you can have, like, a sporty look. 118 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,604 -Great. -Teacher's pet. 119 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:17,525 Any other ideas? 120 00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:19,319 Stinky! 121 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:20,486 What? 122 00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:23,114 What about if it is stinking inside? 123 00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:25,533 Sorry, you want that in a car? 124 00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:26,701 I'm sorry. 125 00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,995 I cannot think any good car idea 126 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:30,663 because this guy keep farting. 127 00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:32,957 Okay, let's just try and focus on the car. 128 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,252 What are some ways we can make it family-friendly? 129 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:40,006 No space for mother-in-law. 130 00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,301 That's not helpful. 131 00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:44,594 Shut up, Paul. 132 00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:47,972 You probably love your mother-in-law. 133 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,515 I actually do. 134 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:52,018 Oh, my God, he admit it! 135 00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,227 [group laughs] 136 00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:54,479 -Paul? -What? 137 00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:56,064 -Paul? -What? 138 00:05:56,147 --> 00:06:00,526 [whispers] You have... no... good... car... ideas. 139 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,695 -Shut up. -I doing the best at this. 140 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,572 All right, maybe we should lay off Paul. 141 00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:05,823 That's what his wife said. 142 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,076 [group laughs] 143 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:11,245 Okay, this car is everything. 144 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,290 [group celebrates] 145 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,750 You flinched, Paul! 146 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:18,961 Now you have to marry your mother-in-law! 147 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,755 Yeah, because he landed it and you flinched, 148 00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:22,298 you have to marry your mother-in-law! 149 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,341 I did not flinch. 150 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,968 -You have to! You have to, Paul. -Marry your mother-in-law. 151 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,345 -I didn't flinch. -Come on, Paul. 152 00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:30,473 If you don't, that mean you yourself 153 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:33,393 admit it yourself that you suck. 154 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,478 That's true. You flinched with the bottle, Paul. 155 00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:39,232 Who is the most popular now, Paul? 156 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,317 [group leader] Paul, you have to marry your mother-in-law 157 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,944 if you flinched at the bottle! 158 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:44,779 [whooshing] 159 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,034 -[group celebrates] -Paul! You flinch! 160 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:54,163 [funk music playing] 161 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:58,000 [woman] Chronic back pain affects everything: 162 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,962 Your family, your job, even your leisure time. 163 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,880 At Laser Spine Specialists, 164 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,550 with our minimally invasive spine surgery, 165 00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:08,553 you can be back on your feet and back in the saddle. 166 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,638 I never thought I'd ride again. 167 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,765 Thanks to Laser Spine Specialists, 168 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,476 I'm back on my bike and enjoying life. 169 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,728 I can finally get back to tending my garden. 170 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:21,441 I can finally fight my wife's new husband, Danny Crouse. 171 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:25,903 Call Laser Spine Specialists for your no-cost MRI review 172 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,530 and change your life today. 173 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,907 I'm back to helping out around the house again. 174 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:32,285 I can finally lift my son over my head again. 175 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,288 I can lift my son over my head again, 176 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:37,206 and there ain't shit he could do about it. 177 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,666 Come here, you little fuck! 178 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,002 Dad! What the hell? 179 00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:43,254 Come on. I'm gonna get you over my head like a big boy. 180 00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:45,465 He's been rude to me his whole life! 181 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,508 Call Laser Spine Specialists today 182 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,969 to learn how a less than two-inch incision 183 00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,721 can give you a new lease on life. 184 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,681 I can spin my wife again. 185 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,726 I can play with my dog again. [dog barking] 186 00:07:57,602 --> 00:08:01,314 I could get my money back from Robbie Star at Superstar Tracks Records. 187 00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:02,940 -[siren wails] -[car horn blares] 188 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,027 You told me I could sing! 189 00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:08,154 I listened to the record we made and it sucks! 190 00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:09,530 Hey, I disagree, Ron. 191 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,200 I gave you $10,000 to make me a star! 192 00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:15,453 We just need a couple more dollars to get this thing really popping off! 193 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:16,621 I'm through, Robbie. 194 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:17,997 I played "Mountain River Rock" 195 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,874 for my whole family and they laughed at me. 196 00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:22,585 Your family hates you! Only I love you! 197 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,670 And that song is rockin', baby. 198 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,964 We got to fly Jeff Chris down from Indiana 199 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,467 -to mix it professionally. -You listen to me. 200 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:34,847 No more scamming adults into thinking they're stars. 201 00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:38,100 I hear you tricked one more old guy at the mall-- 202 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,144 -[thud] -What the hell, Robbie?! 203 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,479 Where's my airplay? 204 00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:44,398 I had the radio tuned to that station you told me all weekend 205 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,858 and my song never came on. 206 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,860 Don't listen to him, he tricked me too. 207 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,905 He didn't trick me. I am a star. Nobody tricked me. 208 00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:53,074 Hey, listen, I just got this new beat 209 00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:55,117 and it is totally in your Q zone, all right? 210 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,578 Don't start this with me, Robbie. 211 00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,206 -I can't sing. -It's a guaranteed goddamn hit, all right? 212 00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:03,626 It's not exactly in my Q zone, is it? 213 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,711 I mean, yeah. It's also in Johnny's Q zone. 214 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:06,963 Johnny, do "Palm Tree" for us. 215 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,840 ♪ Palm tree girls The palm tree guys... ♪ 216 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,009 Don't give it to Johnny. Hold on! 217 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,095 Let me think about it for a minute! 218 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,098 [drumbeat] 219 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,474 ♪ Moon river rock ♪ 220 00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:20,434 ♪ Moon river roll ♪ 221 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,562 [woman] Call Laser Spine Specialists today 222 00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,855 and get back to the things you've always wanted to do. 223 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,232 You're too tight! 224 00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:27,441 Need to loosen up! 225 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,859 It's gonna be a hit, 226 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,112 but you have to relax! 227 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:34,824 ♪ Baby, baby, baby, baby Ba-ba-bay ♪ 228 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,910 ♪ Whoa, baby, baby, baby, bay ♪ 229 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,871 And that was my dad, you know? 230 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,791 No matter how busy he was, 231 00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,085 he always had time for his kids. 232 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:47,753 Gonna miss you, Dad. 233 00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:53,092 Beautiful words, Kyle. Your father would have been so proud. 234 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:57,138 And he would have been so happy to see all of you here today. 235 00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,599 So to honor Paul, 236 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:04,228 why don't we listen to and enjoy a beautiful song? 237 00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:08,065 Oh, our organist, Peg, is under the weather, 238 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,569 so we have a replacement organist for the day. 239 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:16,824 And I'm now seeing that he brought his own much larger organ. 240 00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:18,576 My condolences. 241 00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:21,537 Let us bow our heads. 242 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,457 Two, three, four! 243 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,751 [confusing carnival song playing] 244 00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:27,752 [slide whistle] 245 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,879 [horns honking] 246 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,049 [confusing music continuing] 247 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:37,762 [honk] 248 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,681 [music stopping] 249 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,601 My condolences. 250 00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,061 Thank you, New Joe. 251 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,812 The thanks is all mine, Parson. 252 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:50,858 I would like to now call up Paul's daughter, Olivia. 253 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,902 And I'll play her on. 254 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,278 That is not necessary. 255 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,781 This one is somber, so it's all right to cry. 256 00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,408 It's called "He Layeth on High," 257 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,452 and it's about a big baby duck 258 00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,663 who gets his head caught in a stewed tomato, 259 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,373 so hold on to your hats. 260 00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:06,707 Two, three, four! 261 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,918 -[rapid jaunty melody playing] -[honk] 262 00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:12,171 [plate breaks, jaunty melody continues] 263 00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:14,924 -[jaunty melody continues] -[honk] 264 00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,509 [slide whistles] 265 00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:18,344 -[plate breaks] -[cymbal] 266 00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:19,637 -New Joe. -[honking] 267 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:20,554 New Joe! 268 00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:21,806 Keep going? 269 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:22,932 No. 270 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,892 -[old-fashioned vehicle horn] -melody continues] 271 00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:26,310 -[honk] -[plate breaks] 272 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,605 -[high-pitched slide whistle] -[melody continues] 273 00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,861 [melody stopping] 274 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,782 ♪ Yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah ♪ 275 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,328 Your new boyfriend seems very mature. 276 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:45,746 Yeah, Howie's great. 277 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:48,374 He works at the tobacco shop my mom buys cigars at. 278 00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:49,750 All right, let's play. 279 00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:53,254 Your record collection's very meat and potatoes, Liz. 280 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,797 Oh, thank you. 281 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,216 No, it just means you don't have anything rare in there. 282 00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,427 Okay, everyone got a celebrity name in? 283 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:02,513 All right, Team One, you're up. 284 00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:04,932 -[man] Remind me the rules again? -You can say anything you want, 285 00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,392 just don't say the name you pull out of the hat. 286 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,685 -Okay. -Okay. 287 00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:09,103 -Ready? -All right, let's do this. 288 00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:10,938 And... go. 289 00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:12,690 -He was in Ocean's Eleven. -Matt Damon. 290 00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:13,691 No. 291 00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:16,068 He has a tequila, silver fox... 292 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,153 -George Clooney. -Yes. 293 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:20,698 Okay, she was a pretty woman. 294 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:23,033 -Julia Roberts. -Yes. Okay, um... 295 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,414 All right, I guess this is a musician. 296 00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:30,332 -John Mayer. -No, older... 297 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,250 -Time. -Goddamn. 298 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:34,336 It's jazz legend Marcus "The Worm" Hicks. 299 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,297 [giggles] Okay, who put that in? 300 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:37,798 That one might be one of mine. 301 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,635 Okay, Team Two, we're up. 302 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,012 Howie, you go first. 303 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,388 [sighs] All right. 304 00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,891 [groans] 305 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:49,769 -This is a cool hat. -Okay, ready? 306 00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:52,146 -And... go. -All right, this guy 307 00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:53,773 ran with Thaddeus Finks. 308 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,984 He was one of the Eight Balls in Mookie Kramer and the Eight Balls. 309 00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,402 This doesn't sound like anything. 310 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,613 He played the alto sax with the kink in it. 311 00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,782 -I don't know. -Not sure. 312 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,034 Really? Okay, pass. 313 00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,495 Okay, this one's easy. He's got the freak lips, 314 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,831 he can hit the high C all night long. 315 00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:13,250 He was king of the tuk-tuk sound. 316 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:14,502 Is this another jazz guy? 317 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:15,628 Laura, you know this. 318 00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:17,880 -I need another hint. -I told you this guy's life story 319 00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:19,215 that night we had dinner. 320 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:20,925 I took you to Chartreuse. 321 00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,552 It was the same dinner that you said you don't like any PDA. 322 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,097 I tried to give you those little kisses, and you said no PDA. Remember? 323 00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:30,142 I criticized you for being addicted to your phone, 324 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,436 and tried to make it up to you by buying you the entire dessert menu. 325 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,771 And she didn't even take a bite. 326 00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:36,148 -Time. -Come on, guys! 327 00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:37,525 We didn't get one. 328 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,860 Because they're supposed to be celebrities everyone knows. 329 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,863 Oh, you mean like household names like Roy Donk, 330 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,950 or Jack Marshall who wrote The Munsters' theme song? 331 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:46,951 Roy Donk? 332 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:48,702 Okay, sweetie, I think you're just hungry. 333 00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,205 -Eat some of your Arizona walnuts. -That's a good idea. 334 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,416 Where be your nutcracker? 335 00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,837 Uh, I mean, I think we have one in our Christmas stuff in the attic. 336 00:13:58,045 --> 00:14:00,256 Oh, great. Well, that'll only take you a sec. 337 00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:01,882 Okay. 338 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,093 -Yeah, I guess I'll go get that. -Thanks. 339 00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:06,720 [groans] 340 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:09,223 -All right, Team One, let's go. -Okay. 341 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:12,476 He's Iron Man. 342 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,311 -Robert Downey Jr. -[woman] Yes. Okay... 343 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,356 Oh, I think this one's Howie's. 344 00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:19,567 Yeah, I don't know what to do. 345 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:20,776 Just do Charades. 346 00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:23,737 Ooh! 347 00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:27,157 Oh, I wish I could hear what she's playing, man. She's off the map. 348 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:28,450 Time. 349 00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,871 -What was it? -Tiny "Boop Squig" Shorterly. 350 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:34,290 I mean, come on, is that even a celebrity? 351 00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:37,042 He's no Roy Donk, but he was a regular guest on The Colgate Hour. 352 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,085 What's The Colgate Hour? 353 00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:39,503 Excuse me! 354 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,922 -Oh, my God. -What? I said, "Excuse me." 355 00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:43,674 All right? We all do it. 356 00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:45,885 Let's not make a big deal about it. It's embarrassing. 357 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:48,554 -Here's your nutcracker, Howie. -Oh, thanks, but I changed my mind. 358 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:51,098 Listen, I saw you had some gazpacho soup in your fridge. 359 00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:52,683 Can I have some gazpacho soup? 360 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,728 [wearily] Yes, you can have some gazpacho soup. 361 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,646 [Howie] All right, let's get back into it. 362 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,440 [groans] Okay. 363 00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:03,068 It's my turn. My turn. Okay, let's see. 364 00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,779 Well, he was a frequent guest on The Colgate Comedy Hour. 365 00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,865 The radio program. Come on. 366 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,993 -I don't know what The Colgate Hour is. -Okay, pass. Okay. 367 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,494 I don't know if this will help you, 368 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,539 but he was also a frequent guest on The Colgate Comedy Hour. 369 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,916 He did panels with Paul Julian, 370 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,543 the guy who did the voice of the Road Runner. "Beep-beep." 371 00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:22,630 Don't you remember how we listened to his whole album 372 00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,173 that one night I told you you'd never be a good writer 373 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,050 -'cause you don't have a curious mind? -Time. 374 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,302 -Damn it. -Who was it? 375 00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:31,513 Paul Bufano. Paul Bufano, how hard is that? 376 00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:34,016 Paul Bufano! Come on. 377 00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:36,644 Jeez! You don't remember that night 378 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,021 we listened to the whole album Cafeteria Jangle? 379 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,981 It's the night you gave me that Fitbit 380 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,691 and I said I would get wrist cancer from it. 381 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,611 You said, "It's the cigars you smoke that's gonna give you cancer. 382 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:47,988 It's the T-bone steaks you eat that are gonna give you cancer." 383 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,448 You don't remember that? 384 00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,283 [woman] Just have some gazpacho, Howie. 385 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:52,826 [Howie] Oh, my gazpacho soup is here. 386 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,580 [exclaims] 387 00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:59,458 -This gazpacho soup just burned my lips. -The gazpacho? 388 00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,418 Yeah, it's been sitting out. It warmed up. 389 00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,629 It warmed up so much that it burned your lip? 390 00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:06,966 Let me explain something to you. If you're expecting something ice cold, 391 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,093 and you bring it up to your lips and it's room temp, 392 00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:11,136 it's going to feel like your mouth's on fire. 393 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,013 It's gonna feel like your body's on fire. 394 00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,182 -No way, man -[Howie] You know what? I'm bored. 395 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,559 This party's officially boring. I'm bored, 396 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,062 and you people are very rude. Listen, let's get out of here. 397 00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:22,189 All right? My buddy Ray, his parents are out of town. 398 00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:24,692 He's gonna let us use his basement for "if you know what I mean." 399 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,403 You guys really embarrassed me in front of Howie. 400 00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:31,281 ["Big Flame (Is Gonna Break My Heart In Two)" by Doris Wilson] 401 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:53,345 ♪ There's a flame, a flame ♪ 402 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:56,557 ♪ A big flame in my heart ♪ 403 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,142 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 404 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:04,148 ♪ And believe me when I say It's burning hot ♪ 405 00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:05,649 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 406 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,611 ♪ It's burning for you ♪ 407 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:14,658 ♪ Even though we are through ♪ 408 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:19,913 ♪ This big flame boy is gonna Break my heart in two ♪