1 00:00:08,029 --> 00:00:11,574 And then, I checked Instagram and I see an ad for Graham crackers. 2 00:00:11,657 --> 00:00:13,659 -Ah! -These things are spying on us. 3 00:00:13,743 --> 00:00:15,369 Yeah, go ahead and spy on me. 4 00:00:15,453 --> 00:00:18,539 You're going to see me drink too much wine and watch too much Scandal. 5 00:00:18,622 --> 00:00:21,333 [all laugh] 6 00:00:21,417 --> 00:00:24,503 I'm so glad you could come out with us tonight, Professor Yurabay. 7 00:00:24,587 --> 00:00:27,631 Getting to see what you go on to do after graduation 8 00:00:27,715 --> 00:00:30,217 is one of my favorite parts of teaching. 9 00:00:30,301 --> 00:00:33,471 Your class at business school is the reason we're not at a hedge fund. 10 00:00:33,554 --> 00:00:35,181 We're doing what we think is important. 11 00:00:35,973 --> 00:00:37,641 -Cheers. -Cheers. 12 00:00:38,476 --> 00:00:40,519 So tell me more about this new job. 13 00:00:40,603 --> 00:00:42,855 Oh, it's great. We're in the Amstar building. 14 00:00:42,938 --> 00:00:44,023 And here we go. 15 00:00:44,106 --> 00:00:45,649 -All right. -Oh, thank you. 16 00:00:47,443 --> 00:00:49,820 -[Yurabay] Look at that. Who got that? -Yeah. That's mine. 17 00:00:49,904 --> 00:00:52,907 Dylan, that looks really good. 18 00:00:52,990 --> 00:00:55,618 -I should've got that. -[all laugh] 19 00:00:55,701 --> 00:00:57,787 Yeah, so everything's going really great. 20 00:00:57,870 --> 00:01:01,040 There's this one woman on my team that's driving me a little crazy. 21 00:01:01,123 --> 00:01:03,459 -[Dylan] What's her deal? -She's just a micromanager. 22 00:01:03,542 --> 00:01:05,002 Every time I'm making a deck, 23 00:01:05,086 --> 00:01:07,171 she's saying, "I wouldn't have made it that way." 24 00:01:07,254 --> 00:01:08,631 I should've got that. 25 00:01:08,714 --> 00:01:11,759 Have you, uh, tried at all to talk to her about your issues? 26 00:01:11,842 --> 00:01:13,844 Dylan. Look over there. 27 00:01:15,596 --> 00:01:18,182 I'm joking. I'm joking. 28 00:01:19,391 --> 00:01:21,602 [all chuckle] 29 00:01:22,645 --> 00:01:24,355 [grunts] 30 00:01:24,939 --> 00:01:25,773 Give me that. 31 00:01:25,856 --> 00:01:26,690 What? 32 00:01:26,774 --> 00:01:27,733 Give me that. 33 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,236 -My food? -I'm joking. 34 00:01:31,403 --> 00:01:32,238 I'm joking. 35 00:01:34,657 --> 00:01:36,158 Enough about my drama. 36 00:01:36,242 --> 00:01:37,451 Dylan, how are your kids? 37 00:01:37,535 --> 00:01:40,538 They're a handful, of course, but we have the au pair, 38 00:01:40,621 --> 00:01:43,916 and Susan is working part-time right now, so that really helps. 39 00:01:46,085 --> 00:01:47,962 [Yurabay grunts] 40 00:01:52,216 --> 00:01:54,677 [imitates munching] 41 00:01:57,221 --> 00:01:59,598 I'm joking. I'm joking. 42 00:02:00,599 --> 00:02:02,518 Professor, do you want a bite of mine? 43 00:02:02,601 --> 00:02:05,437 Yeah, I actually would like to try. 44 00:02:05,521 --> 00:02:06,605 Yeah, sure. 45 00:02:06,689 --> 00:02:08,482 Uh, come here. 46 00:02:10,359 --> 00:02:14,071 Yeah, so, Brenda is four-and-a-half, Taylor is three, 47 00:02:14,155 --> 00:02:17,199 -and they're into art right now. -[woman] Mmm. 48 00:02:17,283 --> 00:02:18,367 Dylan, 49 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,870 I'm going to eat the whole thing. 50 00:02:44,059 --> 00:02:47,396 It's, uh… It's so weird to imagine you as a dad. 51 00:02:47,479 --> 00:02:50,232 -Are you going to tell people I did that? -Hmm? 52 00:02:50,316 --> 00:02:52,318 That I housed Dylan's burger. 53 00:02:53,819 --> 00:02:56,530 We're not going to say anything. You didn't like your meal. 54 00:02:56,614 --> 00:02:58,282 -It's no big deal. -Let me take a video 55 00:02:58,365 --> 00:03:00,367 of you saying you're going to kill the president. 56 00:03:00,451 --> 00:03:02,369 -What? -[Yurabay] It's no big deal. 57 00:03:02,453 --> 00:03:04,038 No one's ever going to see it 58 00:03:04,121 --> 00:03:08,209 unless I hear the story of me housing Dylan's burger 59 00:03:08,292 --> 00:03:10,044 down at Graham's Lorelai Lounge. 60 00:03:10,127 --> 00:03:11,921 -We're not saying that. -Saying what? 61 00:03:12,004 --> 00:03:13,339 That we'll kill the president. 62 00:03:13,422 --> 00:03:15,716 -Oh, shit. Say it again. -[woman] What is wrong with you? 63 00:03:15,799 --> 00:03:18,677 I tried to get a video, but I couldn't flip it fast enough. 64 00:03:18,761 --> 00:03:21,597 We were really looking forward to seeing you tonight. 65 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:22,806 We look up to you so much, 66 00:03:22,890 --> 00:03:25,893 but right now, I don't even know what to think. 67 00:03:27,019 --> 00:03:30,606 The truth is, I may look like I have it all, 68 00:03:30,689 --> 00:03:34,235 but inside, I'm just a scared little boy 69 00:03:34,318 --> 00:03:39,073 who never learned how to ask for people's food or their burger. 70 00:03:39,657 --> 00:03:44,328 And the thing that scares me the most is that if people found out, 71 00:03:44,995 --> 00:03:48,082 my wife would go to jail 'cause every night… 72 00:03:51,043 --> 00:03:54,505 -a little boy goes down on her. -Jesus. 73 00:03:54,588 --> 00:03:56,006 -Fuck. -Christ! 74 00:03:56,173 --> 00:03:58,175 [theme music playing] 75 00:04:04,598 --> 00:04:06,392 [suspenseful music playing] 76 00:04:09,770 --> 00:04:12,022 Eat fucking bullets, you fuckers! 77 00:04:12,106 --> 00:04:13,232 You fucking suck! 78 00:04:20,281 --> 00:04:22,199 You fucking suck! 79 00:04:24,952 --> 00:04:27,621 Jeez, Crashmore. You're crazier than hell. 80 00:04:27,705 --> 00:04:31,458 They deserved every fucking bullet I pumped in their heads, Chief. 81 00:04:31,542 --> 00:04:33,043 God, I am so fucking pissed. 82 00:04:36,255 --> 00:04:37,506 Honey, I'm home. 83 00:04:37,589 --> 00:04:38,841 Happy anniversary. 84 00:04:39,508 --> 00:04:40,342 No. 85 00:04:43,137 --> 00:04:44,638 [man] I'm sorry, Crashmore. 86 00:04:45,723 --> 00:04:47,391 I can't stop crying. 87 00:04:47,474 --> 00:04:48,976 They killed your whole family. 88 00:04:49,476 --> 00:04:51,061 You need to take some time off. 89 00:04:51,562 --> 00:04:52,521 [Crashmore] Hey, Chief. 90 00:04:53,272 --> 00:04:54,732 Don't save any cages. 91 00:04:56,483 --> 00:04:58,402 They ain't gonna be in jail. 92 00:04:59,653 --> 00:05:01,447 May God have mercy on their souls. 93 00:05:02,197 --> 00:05:04,241 Fuck you! You suck! 94 00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:06,076 Quit running, damn it! 95 00:05:09,121 --> 00:05:10,164 [gunshot] 96 00:05:10,247 --> 00:05:11,540 Are you dumb? 97 00:05:12,833 --> 00:05:16,420 Oh, fuck, I like that gun. 98 00:05:16,503 --> 00:05:17,921 You knew I'd like that gun. 99 00:05:18,005 --> 00:05:19,715 [laughs hysterically] 100 00:05:19,798 --> 00:05:21,216 Yes, ka-ching. 101 00:05:21,884 --> 00:05:24,762 That's one of the nicest guns I've seen in a long time. 102 00:05:24,845 --> 00:05:27,056 I can't wait to shoot that fucker. 103 00:05:27,139 --> 00:05:28,891 [narrator] With Linda Easley as Monique. 104 00:05:28,974 --> 00:05:30,642 [Monique] He said he'd kill us both. 105 00:05:30,726 --> 00:05:34,438 He might kill you, but there's no fucking way he's ever killing me. 106 00:05:34,521 --> 00:05:36,315 Fucking asshole. He said that? 107 00:05:36,398 --> 00:05:38,567 [narrator] Ryan Tanna as Sergeant Wilkes. 108 00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:40,819 I don't like the looks of this, Crashmore. 109 00:05:40,903 --> 00:05:42,654 I don't care if I die at all. 110 00:05:42,738 --> 00:05:44,198 Everything has sucked lately. 111 00:05:44,281 --> 00:05:47,993 [narrator] And starring Santa Claus as Detective Crashmore. 112 00:05:48,077 --> 00:05:49,995 You don't give a shit who's in your way, do you? 113 00:05:50,079 --> 00:05:51,330 What'd you say? 114 00:05:51,413 --> 00:05:53,415 You don't give a shit who's in your way, do you? 115 00:05:53,499 --> 00:05:54,583 Not really. 116 00:05:55,918 --> 00:05:58,087 ♪ Pretty please with sugar on top ♪ 117 00:05:58,170 --> 00:06:00,089 ♪ Baby give me that love you've got ♪ 118 00:06:00,172 --> 00:06:03,050 [man] In today's climate, something you've said or done in the past 119 00:06:03,133 --> 00:06:05,344 could cause you to be fired from your place of work. 120 00:06:05,427 --> 00:06:07,262 Don't let something you've said or done 121 00:06:07,346 --> 00:06:09,765 get you undeservedly fired from your position. 122 00:06:09,848 --> 00:06:11,141 We all make mistakes. 123 00:06:11,225 --> 00:06:13,102 We shouldn't be punished for them. 124 00:06:13,185 --> 00:06:15,938 I was fired from work for something completely embarrassing. 125 00:06:16,021 --> 00:06:18,607 I was fired for something extremely embarrassing. 126 00:06:18,690 --> 00:06:21,026 I'm not going to say what it was, 127 00:06:21,110 --> 00:06:23,779 but it led me to invent this powerful hot dog vacuum. 128 00:06:23,862 --> 00:06:26,615 People say to me, "What inspired you to invent this?" 129 00:06:26,698 --> 00:06:29,535 And I say, "I cannot talk about it without crying." 130 00:06:29,618 --> 00:06:31,620 Here's how my invention works. 131 00:06:31,703 --> 00:06:34,331 Let's say you're at work and they push lunch without asking, 132 00:06:34,415 --> 00:06:36,041 which shouldn't be allowed. 133 00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:39,670 Cut to, you got six inches of hot dog stuffed down your throat 134 00:06:39,753 --> 00:06:41,171 and no one gives a shit. 135 00:06:41,255 --> 00:06:45,217 Simply place the Carber hot dog vacuum like so… Boom! 136 00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:47,136 They waited a while to fire me 137 00:06:47,219 --> 00:06:49,555 so it wouldn't be obvious what they were firing me for. 138 00:06:49,638 --> 00:06:51,140 They said, "Poor performance." 139 00:06:51,223 --> 00:06:52,808 You sure about that? 140 00:06:53,725 --> 00:06:55,894 You sure about that? That's why? 141 00:06:55,978 --> 00:06:59,022 You sure it wasn't 'cause after the thing that happened to me, 142 00:06:59,106 --> 00:07:02,151 no one could look at me without dying laughing? 143 00:07:02,985 --> 00:07:04,278 You sure about that? 144 00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:06,697 You sure about that's not why? 145 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,575 Once this invention's big enough, 146 00:07:09,658 --> 00:07:11,118 I'm going to buy my own company 147 00:07:11,201 --> 00:07:13,579 and make the dress code be a big, wet diaper. 148 00:07:15,247 --> 00:07:19,751 The Carber reputation vacuum, don't let one bad day ruin your future. 149 00:07:19,835 --> 00:07:22,546 Carber Co. Technologies, the people's company, 150 00:07:22,629 --> 00:07:24,631 because no one should have one bad day. 151 00:07:25,340 --> 00:07:27,843 I had a cool job that I loved. 152 00:07:32,097 --> 00:07:33,765 [Wesley] Hey, AOL blast viewers. 153 00:07:33,849 --> 00:07:37,102 It's me, it's your boy Wesley Fillmore, sitting down with 154 00:07:37,186 --> 00:07:41,356 the cast of Lamador Pictures' latest action flick, Detective Crashmore. 155 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:45,486 -This thing is fun. -Thank you. Thank you very much. 156 00:07:45,569 --> 00:07:47,279 Before we dig in with the tough questions, 157 00:07:47,362 --> 00:07:49,156 -let's meet our guests. -[laughs] 158 00:07:49,239 --> 00:07:51,492 Linda Easley who plays Monique, 159 00:07:51,575 --> 00:07:54,119 Ryan Tanna as the fresh-faced Sergeant Wilkes, 160 00:07:54,203 --> 00:07:56,830 and, of course, the man who needs no introduction. 161 00:07:56,914 --> 00:07:58,749 You might know him from his other job 162 00:07:58,832 --> 00:08:02,211 delivering presents to kids all over the world on Christmas, 163 00:08:02,294 --> 00:08:03,420 Santa Claus. 164 00:08:04,546 --> 00:08:05,881 Santa… 165 00:08:07,174 --> 00:08:08,926 Didn't anybody tell you anything? 166 00:08:09,009 --> 00:08:10,552 I told your producers, 167 00:08:10,636 --> 00:08:14,306 "Do not mention Christmas or that I do it at all." 168 00:08:14,389 --> 00:08:16,099 They told me not to focus on it. 169 00:08:16,183 --> 00:08:18,060 And I told them not to mention it at all. 170 00:08:18,644 --> 00:08:20,229 If Leonardo DiCaprio was here, 171 00:08:20,312 --> 00:08:22,940 would you ask him about Christmases around the corner? 172 00:08:23,023 --> 00:08:25,484 Would you like me to interview you as an actor? 173 00:08:25,567 --> 00:08:26,944 That would be great. 174 00:08:27,027 --> 00:08:30,489 That would be fucking great for me, thank you. 175 00:08:31,448 --> 00:08:33,992 Absolute fucking bullshit. 176 00:08:34,952 --> 00:08:36,328 Unprofessional bullshit. 177 00:08:36,954 --> 00:08:39,873 It's why no one watches AOL blast. 178 00:08:39,957 --> 00:08:41,208 Bullshit. 179 00:08:43,126 --> 00:08:47,214 So, Santa, how would you describe Detective Crashmore? 180 00:08:47,297 --> 00:08:48,173 [exhales] 181 00:08:50,926 --> 00:08:53,929 It's a cosmic mix of the action of the '90s 182 00:08:54,012 --> 00:08:56,682 combined with the exploitation films of the '70s, 183 00:08:57,266 --> 00:08:59,184 but with modern touches. 184 00:08:59,268 --> 00:09:01,019 It's hyper-violence, but it knows that it is. 185 00:09:01,103 --> 00:09:02,813 It's a little bit Tarantino. 186 00:09:02,896 --> 00:09:04,940 It's definitely a little bit Michael Mann. 187 00:09:05,023 --> 00:09:07,192 It's kind of a cosmic gumbo. 188 00:09:08,193 --> 00:09:11,572 It almost moves to the beat of jazz. [chuckles] 189 00:09:12,239 --> 00:09:14,575 -Great. -Yeah, Ryan and I would joke on set 190 00:09:14,658 --> 00:09:16,702 about it being a cosmic gumbo. 191 00:09:17,619 --> 00:09:20,080 -But, uh-- -Let's talk for a second 192 00:09:20,163 --> 00:09:21,790 about the nudity in the film. 193 00:09:21,873 --> 00:09:23,709 Was that scary for you as an actor to do? 194 00:09:23,792 --> 00:09:25,586 Well, the script called for it. 195 00:09:26,128 --> 00:09:28,839 It's an important part of Detective Crashmore's journey. 196 00:09:29,506 --> 00:09:30,882 What are we, ten years old? 197 00:09:30,966 --> 00:09:33,010 I've seen every cock on the planet. 198 00:09:34,678 --> 00:09:36,638 I've seen everyone naked. 199 00:09:37,347 --> 00:09:39,016 I'm sorry, you've seen everyone naked? 200 00:09:39,099 --> 00:09:41,560 Yeah, see if they got tattoos. 201 00:09:42,102 --> 00:09:43,604 If they do, they get no gift. 202 00:09:43,687 --> 00:09:46,106 So, if you get a tattoo, you don't get anything for Christmas? 203 00:09:46,189 --> 00:09:47,357 Not that year. 204 00:09:47,441 --> 00:09:49,735 You think getting a tattoo is good? 205 00:09:49,818 --> 00:09:50,652 No. 206 00:09:50,736 --> 00:09:52,904 Getting a tattoo is not good. 207 00:09:52,988 --> 00:09:55,616 I don't care about it, but it's not good behavior. 208 00:09:57,451 --> 00:09:59,494 I got paid two mil to play Crashmore. 209 00:10:00,078 --> 00:10:01,413 How does that money help you? 210 00:10:01,496 --> 00:10:05,500 Well, it does, because that amount is called my quote. 211 00:10:05,584 --> 00:10:06,668 That's my rate. 212 00:10:07,210 --> 00:10:10,589 So the next film I'm offered, they have to pay that same amount. 213 00:10:11,214 --> 00:10:12,758 Even if I do a bad job. 214 00:10:13,634 --> 00:10:17,262 That means, as long as I'm offered even one more movie, 215 00:10:17,346 --> 00:10:19,139 I could get two more mil. 216 00:10:19,806 --> 00:10:23,560 Even if I do a bad job, they've got to give me that other two mil. 217 00:10:25,395 --> 00:10:26,730 [Wesley] Okay. 218 00:10:26,813 --> 00:10:27,773 Great. 219 00:10:28,565 --> 00:10:31,693 ♪ Baby, baby, baby, baby Bay-bay-bay ♪ 220 00:10:31,777 --> 00:10:34,446 ♪ Whoa, baby, baby Bay-bay-bay ♪ 221 00:10:34,529 --> 00:10:36,740 [woman] Your Honor, the defense has tried to claim 222 00:10:36,823 --> 00:10:40,994 that their unloading of Qualstarr stock the week before its value plummeted 223 00:10:41,078 --> 00:10:42,621 was sheer coincidence, 224 00:10:42,704 --> 00:10:45,082 a very lucrative coincidence. 225 00:10:45,749 --> 00:10:48,627 This text message exchange will prove 226 00:10:48,710 --> 00:10:51,672 that they knowingly engaged in insider trading. 227 00:10:53,048 --> 00:10:56,843 Miss Hubbell, do you recognize these text messages? 228 00:10:57,427 --> 00:10:59,471 -Yes. -And they're between whom? 229 00:10:59,554 --> 00:11:01,098 Myself and Vincent Alan. 230 00:11:01,181 --> 00:11:05,310 Vincent Alan, your co-defendant and colleague at Nortrip? 231 00:11:05,394 --> 00:11:06,728 Yes. 232 00:11:06,812 --> 00:11:12,150 I will now read from these text messages dated April 12th of this year. 233 00:11:13,151 --> 00:11:15,904 Bri: "Did you talk to Dan at Qualstarr?" 234 00:11:15,987 --> 00:11:19,825 Vincent: "He said they're laying off 300 people next week." 235 00:11:19,908 --> 00:11:22,911 Bri: "We need to unload our shares before then." 236 00:11:22,994 --> 00:11:24,079 Vincent: "I'm on it." 237 00:11:24,162 --> 00:11:26,164 Bri: "Be discreet." 238 00:11:26,248 --> 00:11:27,708 Vincent: "Of course." 239 00:11:27,791 --> 00:11:30,585 Bri: "Oh, my God. Did you see Brian's hat?" 240 00:11:30,669 --> 00:11:33,130 Vincent: "Oh, fuck. Ha-ha-ha-ha!" 241 00:11:33,213 --> 00:11:34,840 What the hell? 242 00:11:34,923 --> 00:11:38,385 [woman] Bri: "He looks so fucking stupid. I can't breathe." 243 00:11:38,468 --> 00:11:40,887 Vincent: "What the hell even is it?" 244 00:11:40,971 --> 00:11:44,266 Bri: "It's a fedora with safari flaps in the back." 245 00:11:44,349 --> 00:11:46,268 Vincent: "Holy shit!" 246 00:11:46,351 --> 00:11:48,019 "He looks so fucking stupid." 247 00:11:48,103 --> 00:11:49,479 -No. -[woman] "Talk later." 248 00:11:49,563 --> 00:11:51,064 "I'll take care of that thing." 249 00:11:51,940 --> 00:11:53,150 Hmm. 250 00:11:53,233 --> 00:11:55,694 Sounds like more than a coincidence to me. 251 00:11:56,278 --> 00:11:59,030 Miss Hubbell, do you recognize these texts? 252 00:12:00,115 --> 00:12:01,158 I do. 253 00:12:01,241 --> 00:12:04,995 [woman] Vincent: "It's done. I talked to Dan. We're good." 254 00:12:05,078 --> 00:12:06,580 Bri: "Loose ends?" 255 00:12:06,663 --> 00:12:09,666 Vincent: "We're all good, about to be way better." 256 00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:11,710 Bri: Smiley face emoji. 257 00:12:11,793 --> 00:12:14,129 Vincent: "Did you see Brian's hat?" 258 00:12:14,212 --> 00:12:16,715 -"He's still fucking wearing it." -What the hell? 259 00:12:16,798 --> 00:12:19,843 [woman] Bri: "Yes, I even saw two cubes in his pocket." 260 00:12:19,926 --> 00:12:23,597 "I think he has dice, but he's afraid to show them to anyone." 261 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,849 The hell's she even talking about? 262 00:12:25,932 --> 00:12:29,102 Vincent: "L-O-L. That is so sad." 263 00:12:29,186 --> 00:12:32,063 Bri: "So sad. So sad." 264 00:12:32,147 --> 00:12:35,650 "So, so, so, so, so sad." 265 00:12:35,734 --> 00:12:39,404 Vincent: "It's so heartbreaking, but I can't stop laughing." 266 00:12:39,488 --> 00:12:43,408 "Tears are literally streaming down my face thinking about his dumb dice." 267 00:12:43,492 --> 00:12:44,993 Leave it the fuck alone. 268 00:12:45,076 --> 00:12:47,287 Bri: "Just wired the money." 269 00:12:47,370 --> 00:12:49,164 Vincent: "Holy fucking shit!" 270 00:12:49,247 --> 00:12:51,666 "Brian's hat just got him in huge trouble in a meeting." 271 00:12:51,750 --> 00:12:52,876 God damn it! 272 00:12:52,959 --> 00:12:55,170 [woman] "Mr. Andrews made Brian take off his hat." 273 00:12:55,253 --> 00:12:56,963 "He said it was distracting." 274 00:12:57,047 --> 00:13:00,425 "He said if anyone disagreed, he'd let Brian keep the hat on." 275 00:13:00,509 --> 00:13:03,428 "Nobody said shit, dude, nobody said shit." 276 00:13:03,512 --> 00:13:07,265 Bri: "What did he do when Mr. Andrews made him take it off?" 277 00:13:07,349 --> 00:13:11,394 Vincent: "He took the hat off and he hid his head in his hands." 278 00:13:11,478 --> 00:13:13,146 "You could tell he was crying." 279 00:13:13,230 --> 00:13:16,399 "He kept saying under his breath, 'You can't fucking do that.'" 280 00:13:16,483 --> 00:13:19,152 "Then Mr. Andrews said, 'What's that, Brian?'" 281 00:13:19,236 --> 00:13:20,695 "And he said, 'Nothing.'" 282 00:13:20,779 --> 00:13:24,074 "And then a minute later, he said, 'It's not a distraction.'" 283 00:13:24,157 --> 00:13:27,911 "'The guy at the store said I'm the only guy he's ever seen pull it off.'" 284 00:13:27,994 --> 00:13:30,205 "Mr. Andrews asked him how much it cost, 285 00:13:30,288 --> 00:13:32,999 and he said, 'It's illegal for you to ask me that.'" 286 00:13:33,083 --> 00:13:35,502 "And Brian said, 'I'm putting the hat back on, 287 00:13:35,585 --> 00:13:37,128 I don't care what happens to me.'" 288 00:13:37,212 --> 00:13:40,340 "Mr. Andrews said, 'Just take the hat off, Brian.'" 289 00:13:40,423 --> 00:13:42,801 "'No, I'm not taking the fucking hat off.'" 290 00:13:42,884 --> 00:13:47,097 "Then he stood up and said, 'I've never fought for anything in my entire life.'" 291 00:13:47,180 --> 00:13:48,723 "'I'm fighting for this hat.'" 292 00:13:48,807 --> 00:13:51,309 "He went to slam his hand down on the table, 293 00:13:51,393 --> 00:13:54,896 but he hit his water bottle and it spilled all over his laptop." 294 00:13:54,980 --> 00:13:58,608 "And then I swear to fucking God, he tried to roll the hat down his arm 295 00:13:58,692 --> 00:14:00,068 like Fred Astaire, 296 00:14:00,151 --> 00:14:02,988 but the backflap got trapped around Rick's wheelchair, 297 00:14:03,071 --> 00:14:05,824 and then it took him forever to get the flap out of the wheelchair." 298 00:14:05,907 --> 00:14:07,450 "He was fucking beet red." 299 00:14:07,534 --> 00:14:09,870 "I thought he was going to have a heart attack." 300 00:14:09,953 --> 00:14:12,038 "One of the flaps got wheel grease on it, 301 00:14:12,122 --> 00:14:14,916 and he said, 'What the fuck is all this stuff?'" 302 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,960 "'You have to grease these wheels?'" 303 00:14:17,043 --> 00:14:20,589 "And Rick said, 'Yeah, you have to keep the wheels lubricated.'" 304 00:14:20,672 --> 00:14:24,467 "And he said, 'Yeah, well, I'm not supposed to get grease on this hat.'" 305 00:14:24,551 --> 00:14:28,263 "And Brenda was just sitting there slightly in his way towards the door, 306 00:14:28,346 --> 00:14:30,765 and as he walked towards her, he said, 'Move,' 307 00:14:30,849 --> 00:14:34,060 and right when he said it, he realized he had gone too far." 308 00:14:34,144 --> 00:14:36,605 "So, he said in a jokey voice, 'Who said that?'" 309 00:14:36,688 --> 00:14:38,023 Don't do the voice. 310 00:14:38,106 --> 00:14:39,232 Objection, relevance. 311 00:14:39,316 --> 00:14:40,358 Finally. 312 00:14:40,442 --> 00:14:42,527 "Dollar sign emoji." 313 00:14:43,069 --> 00:14:45,113 -[dice rattle] -Quit fucking with them. 314 00:14:45,196 --> 00:14:47,198 ["Young Girl" by Frank Lynch playing]