♪
[phone ringing and vibrating]
Will you get that?
[exhales]
Oh, right.
[grunts]
[sighs]
Hello.
Didn't wake you, did I?
No, it's fine.
Didn't get off for hours, so probably would have overslept
if you hadn't rung me at...
7:00 a.m.
Okay, good... you know,
I didn't sleep very well, either.
You know, that's the first night
in 30 years that we haven't shared the bed together.
Well, except for that time
when we thought you had chicken pox.
And it turned out that you were allergic
to the new detergent I'd bought.
I am so sorry, Peter.
I don't mean about the detergent.
'Cause in fairness, that was a really
expensive brand, so it wasn't as if I'd...
Maggie...
I'm the one who should be sorry.
I just needed some time.
Yeah, I know, I know.
Well, now...
You've spared me from hurt and worry and concern,
and how could I do anything but love you for it?
Thank you.
Just don't ever keep any secrets
from me again, okay?
Oh, look, Maggie, when are you coming home?
There's something I, I really need to...
[yelps]
Goddamn!
That is hot! [exhales]
Will you do something for me?
Yeah, anything.
I need you to meet us in the village, about 11:00?
You and Jamie, and make sure he doesn't
slick his hair back-- makes him look
like a game-show host. What are you talking about?
Well, it's the big anniversary
celebrations today, isn't it?
And I justthink we should be there, all together.
Maggie...
Please?
[sighs]: Yeah, of course, we'll be there.
Thanks-- I love you.
[exhaling]: I love you, too.
Aww, that was nice.
It was also loud-- particularly the scream--
for 7:00 on a Saturday morning.
Well, the coffee was hot!
Well, that's coffee for you, Maggie.
I mean, for goodness' sake,
as important as it is that you two spoke,
who on Earth makes phone calls at...
[phone ringing]
Like mother, like son.
Tell me something I don't know.
Hiya!
♪
[people talking in background]
So... [exhales]
What football team do you support?
Uh, all of them.
Right.
ROXANNA: Morning.
Do you...
Do you want to tell me what happened last night?
Where is my money, Kelly?
He won't leave!
Mummy?
Where is it?
[crying]: We burnt it.
What?
KELLY: Please, let me,
let me talk to Josh! [door slams]
JOSH: Mummy?
Hey, hey, Josh, are you okay?
I'm okay, I wasn't scared.
Roxy, are you there?
I'm, I'm here, yes.
Take me off speaker.
Okay.
We're, we're gonna come home tonight.
NEIL: We can't drive, Kelly.
We've both had a drink.
Just... we'll just get a taxi.
No, no, it's fine.
He's gone.
Uh, I'll take Josh back to mine.
Just come back when...
Kelly...
Is it true?
Yes.
You're not gonna tell anyone, are you?
Like I said, I heard a noise.
Thought it was someone breaking in, but it was nothing.
I just got spooked, that's all.
Hmm.
JILL: Morning.
Sorry...
Again, that we didn't end up at my place last night.
Ah, that's fine, you were pretty distracted.
Hmm.
And you obviously still are.
Shouldn't you be dressed by now?
Aren't we all meant to be
playing the pan pipes
and dancing round the maypole in a bit?
I don't think I want to go.
What are you talking about?
You organized the whole thing.
No, I didn't.
Maggie did, I just stole it.
[sighs]: To punish her.
If I'd have known what I know now...
You are sure about what you saw?
I mean, there could be another explanation. Like what?
That she was checking out his bridgework with her tongue?
No, Marcus,
I know what I saw.
And I have to tell her, don't I, how can I not?
Despite everything that's happened, she's...
Wasstill my best friend.
[sighs]
Come here.
[Buster barks]
Not you, ya berk!
It's all right.
Room for both of us.
[sighs]
Look, we're gonna go to the festivities, all right?
Whether you stole them or not, you have to see it through.
And go and see Maggie after.
Talk to her then.
I'll come with you.
Will you?
Suppose I have to, now I've said it out loud.
Right, I'll make you a cuppa, then we get going!
[clears throat]
It's a work in progress, don't jinx it.
Sorry!
MARCUS: Buster, guard! [whimpers]
PATRICK: Is it all right if we can hang out for a bit?
We're meeting someone before we head off.
It's a public house.
[drums along bar]: All right?
Don't talk to the punters.
You're kitchen staff.
I like outranking him.
Didn't they say they were checking out this morning?
They are-- they have.
They're not doing a very good job of it.
Apparently, they're meeting someone.
Meeting who?
SYDNEY: Never you mind, rookie!
It's beyond your pay grade.
Your place... is at the sink.
[birds chirping]
[footsteps approaching] You all right?
Yeah, yeah.
It's funny sleeping in my old room again.
Yeah, I imagine it's a lot smaller than you remember.
JAMIE: Not really, Dad.
I was 22 when I moved out.
What, and you haven't grown any more since then?
Honestly, it's like you're just not trying!
[dishes clanking] Listen, Dad.
Uh... thanks, yeah?
For, um, for last night.
Well, I'm glad you were here.
You're not the only one needed reassuring
that everything's gonna be all right.
Do you think it will be?
You don't think things have changed, do you?
What do you mean, changed?
Between me and Mum.
[phone rings]
Hammer House of Horror.
Yep, we are, yep, yep.
No, we're just about to head out.
Yeah, no, looks fine.
Course you can.
[mouths]
Mum?
Um... I love you, too.
Oh, well, we'll, we'll see you there.
Say again?
Yeah, looks fine.
All right, bye, Mum, bye.
[hangs up]
See, nothing's changed.
[smacks lips]
[sighs]
Oh, I bought you that, didn't I?
Uh, yeah, last Christmas. Oh...
Christmas before, actually.
Been saving it for a special occasion. Ah, right.
And today qualifies for that, does it?
What, you and me going to a village fete together,
willingly?
I don't know about special, but it's definitely an occasion.
Mm, suppose it is. Yeah, well,
just don't get too used to it, okay?
Heaven forbid.
♪
[people talking in background]
♪
You okay?
Better, yeah... yeah.
You?
Yeah, will be.
Tell you what, though, I'll be glad when this
sodding anniversary business is finally over.
Bloody William the Conqueror.
Sick of him!
♪
[people talking in background]
[Marcus sighs]
This is ridiculous!
There's your house again, look.
You might as well get out-- pointless, us both doing laps.
Yeah, okay, I need to get changed anyway.
I look like a primary school teacher.
Oh, Marcus...
How come you told me
you were still on your first chapter?
I saw the number at the top.
You've done, like, a hundred pages.
Yes, well, that one that you saw
is not the one I'm supposed to be writing.
That's one I started a few days ago.
Slightly different genre. [car horn honking]
Yes!
All right!
What do you mean, different genre?
Romantic fiction.
[laughs]
Hey, don't knock it.
Hundred pages in a week,
that's a record for me.
Who'd have thought that falling in love
would be such a good cure for writer's block?
Wait, what did you say?
Um...
I don't know.
I say a lot of things.
I'm a babbler.
[car horn honks]
Yes!
Right, go and grab a spot.
I'll find you.
[hazard lights switch off]
[engine revs]
PATRICK: Alex Myer.
Still got family, haven't you?
Mum and little brother, innit?
Oh, and, uh... Grandma.
[keys jangling, engine starts]
♪
[bell tolls]
[people talking in background]
[playing folk tune]
MAGGIE: Straw henge.
It's a good idea, isn't it?
BECKA: Yeah.
[Maggie murmurs]
Um, look if you want to walk a few steps behind me,
I would understand.
BECKA: Really?
Are you sure you don't mind?
Well, if you, you know, if you...
[laughs]: Come on!
I'll give Jamie a ring,
find out where they are.
[chuckling] [sighs]: You...
[people talking in background]
PETER: Hmm.
JAMIE: Yeah, good turnout.
Lots of, uh, Normany people... Normany!
JAMIE: Normany or Saxon.
No... KAREN [softly]: Excuse me.
[calls out]: Um, nice day for it! Ah!
Hello, Jamie!
Oh, I haven't seen you since the big news, have I?
Oh, congratulations!
[kisses audibly] Thank you.
[giggles] PETER: Right, well, quickly just, um...
Your father's gonna make a wonderful granddad.
He'll spoil her rotten.
Oh, well, we don't know if it's gonna be
a boy or a girl yet, so...
Oh, I hope it's a girl. Sure.
JAMIE: Well, I mean, it's, uh...
We'll be happy either way.
Oh, of course we will.
Well, as they say, uh, we'd better...
[cell phone ringing]: Leave it, leave it.
They'll ring back, they'll ring back.
What? Uh, it's Becks-- sorry, two seconds.
Yes, okay, bye, Jamie. Don't, don't, don't, don't go.
KAREN: Oh, love to Becka!
[whispering]: What do you think you're doing?
What do you mean? Maggie's here.
As in here, now.
I'm on my way to meet her.
Oh, I understand.
[whispers]: Do you?
[people talking in background]
[whispers]: Call me after.
JAMIE: Uh, they're over on the other side.
Hello, Dad?
Becks and Mum. Yeah, yeah, all right, yeah.
You okay? Yeah.
[bell tolls]
Finally, at last.
Hey, what the...
Hey!
This bloody village!
[phone rings] Alex?
I never wanted to hurt you or Josh.
You do know that, don't you?
Where are you?
They threatened my family, Rox.
Look, I don't understand any of this.
I don't understand what's going on with you
or Kelly or Neil, or any of you.
But if someone is threatening you,
your family-- Alex, you have to call the police.
I'm way beyond that now.
I stole thousands of pounds off my own nan, Roxy.
These people, they're not exactly payday loans, you know.
Like, I was way beyond that, too.
If I hand myself in or if I run...
[voice breaking]: Believe me, I came close.
It won't stop them, they'll come after Mum,
or Liam, or maybe even you.
I need to do the right thing.
What do you mean? I'm meeting them now
at the Conqueror, just like we arranged.
But I'm gonna tell them that I don't have their money.
That it's gone and that they need
to leave everyone else out of this.
It's all on me.
Alex, what are they going to do?
I'm sorry, Roxy, for everything.
I need you to know that.
Alex! [phone disconnects]
♪
Keep an eye on Josh for me. What? Wait!
Where are you... I won't be long.
♪
I want the police.
Can I have one of these?
Ah, 38 pence!
♪
Hi, Jill. Hey!
♪
MAGGIE [softly]: Hey, there, hi.
Hi, Helen.
[clears throat]
No? okay. [chuckles]
♪
Oh, look. Aw...
♪
[exclaiming]
Oh, Emil, Emil, this is no way
to treat classic literature.
Classic literature? [scoffs]
[clears throat]
Ah, yes, uh, Roxanna
did tell me that you and, um...
It's okay.
I'm sure Marcus'd turn his nose up
at the word classic, too.
And literature, probably. [laughs]
[chuckles]: He's a very nice man.
He's always very friendly.
I'm really happy for you.
Thank you.
Is everything okay?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
What are you putting them all out here for anyway?
Footfall.
Plenty of people out and about in the village today,
and these things haven't stopped selling since...
Well, you know.
It's been a strange couple of weeks, hasn't it, Emil?
[sighs]: Very.
I'll see you later.
Yeah, bye-bye, Jill.
Oh, you do know it's meant to rain today, yeah?
No, I did not.
Sorry.
[thunder rumbling, wind blowing]
♪
[seagulls squawking]
You're cutting it close.
I don't have it.
Did you ever?
Does it matter?
No, I suppose it doesn't.
And in a way, I'm pleased.
See, we got a few odd jobs on the side
that we need taking care of.
High risk, big reward.
The risk part being yours.
Whatever it takes.
That's the spirit.
Shall we go?
♪
[glasses clanking] All right?
What are you doing here?
I work here.
What's going on?
[gasps]
PATRICK: It's okay.
Let him go.
You were right all along, Liam.
I was never the good one at all. What are you talking about?
Alex, who are these people, how do you know them? Liam, listen to me.
I need you to take care of Mum.
What? I'll be back, I will, but I just...
I need you to promise me that you'll take care of her.
PATRICK: Yeah, all right, I think he gets it.
I think they all do.
I think they're all gonna be smart,
stand still, and count to 100 or something, aren't you?
What did I just say?!
[Alex grunts]
PATRICK: What a silly, silly boy...
[exhales]
[crowd applauding]
[crowd cheering and applauding]
♪
[kids laughing and talking]
[crowd applauding and cheering]
Maggie... hi.
Hi!
Didn't think you'd be here.
Well, it's the village celebration, so...
Yeah.
♪
Oh, yeah, I'll, I'll just...
Procession's really good.
It's much better than a float, isn't it?
Clouds a bit ominous?
Still, a little bit of rain...
Won't hurt, be more authentic.
Look, Jill, can I just say... Maggie,
don't, don't apologize again, please.
You're only gonna make this even harder.
Make what harder? Maggie,
I need to tell you something.
♪
PATRICK: Well?
[chuckling]: Oh.
This gets better and better.
Is that thing even real?
I'm pretty sure it's real.
It is real.
You're not taking my brother.
[sighs]: Don't be an idiot.
You're not gonna fire that thing.
Hm? If anything,
you look as though you're gonna pass out.
Put...
the gun... down.
ALEX: Jesus, Liam, put it down.
PATRICK: Listen to your big brother, eh?
Liam, please.
Atta boy!
[shouts]
[Patrick punches, both grunt]
[Patrick grunts, Liam gasps]
[gasping and grunting]
[gun fires, Brian yelps]
[screams]
[Brian screaming]
Let's get out of here.
♪
MARCUS: Ah, finally!
[sighs]
[both grunting, struggling]
PATRICK: Gimme the bloody keys!
Oi, hey!
Get in the car, quick.
PHIL: Go, go!
[tires screeching]
♪
BECKA: There you are.
Missed the grand procession.
Well, you know what they say,
once you've seen one two-foot Norman army
marching through a village,
you've seen it all.
[kiss]
Where's Mum? Over there,
talking to Jill. [Jamie groans]
Oh, for God's sake, can she not take one day off?
MAGGIE: You hate me that much?
Oh, Maggie, no! It wasn't enough
that you took all this from me?
That wasn't enough?
It's not about that-- I swear to you,
I'm telling you the truth.
No, you're not!
♪
Maggie, listen... PETER: Oh, great.
Now what's happening?
Maggie, wait, please!
[tires screeching]
[people gasp]
[crowd gasping, murmuring]
Jill!
[bell tolls]
[people murmuring]
Don't move her!
MAN: Someone call an ambulance!
[people murmuring]
♪
[engine stops]
This is all my fault! Don't be silly!
Just come here, come here, come here, come here, it's okay.
Roxy!
[sirens blaring]
[sirens stop]
NEIL: Who is it? It's Jill.
Jill... Jill Wheadon?
Roxy, where's Josh? He's with my dad.
He's safe.
♪
OFFICER: Patrol-- we're gonna need an ambulance here.
You hurt?
Injured? Nah.
Just a bit in shock, you know?
What about you?
Yeah, what he said.
Well, I think it'd be good
if we get you both out the vehicle.
Think you can manage that? PATRICK: Sure.
OFFICER: They've got a gun!
Move it!
Get off me! Calm down, sir!
[handcuffs click]
[grunting]
[crowd murmuring]
[Maggie crying]
I really don't think a medieval army's gonna be
much help here, Mrs. Bainbridge, do you?
[kids talking in background]
[sighs]
♪
[sirens approaching]
ALEX: Ambulance, yeah, yeah.
The Conqueror pub, Thurlbury.
You'll be okay. Yeah, okay.
[sirens blaring]
[siren blaring in distance]
Liam?
Liam...
I think I'm going to go to prison.
You're not gonna go to prison. [panting]: I am.
Hey.
Soft lad, you're not going to go to prison.
OFFICER: He's been shot.
♪
[breathing heavily]
OFFICER: Check outside.
[softly]: They tried... they tried to rob us.
OFFICER: Who did?
Two blokes, been staying here all week.
My boyfriend, he tackled them
and nearly managed to get the gun away from them.
And my boss, Brian...
He saved my life.
He's a hero.
♪
[car door closes]
[talking in background]
Mum, what are you doing?
I'm going with her.
MARCUS: No, you're not!
[sighs]: Look, I'll...
call you, okay?
As soon as I know anything.
[murmurs]
♪
[engine starts]
♪
[sighs]: This is...
All my fault.
Maggie, will you stop saying that?
But we were fighting!
She said you were having an affair
with Karen!
Said she saw you kissing.
She saw that?
[Peter and Maggie murmur]
What? No, no.
No, God, God...
No, I don't mean to...
I'm not having an affair with her.
You know, she did...
She did kiss me, last night at work.
Completely out of the blue-- nearly gave me a heart attack.
In a bad way, obviously,
not like a good... heart attack.
Look, Maggie, I promised I would never
keep a secret from you again, and I meant it.
I was gonna tell you this,
all of it, today.
Just waiting for the right moment. Well, you...
certainly picked a good one.
You do believe me, don't you?
Yes, of course I do, you... idiot.
Absolutely!
Huh, what?
Uh, yeah, sorry, yeah, course I believe you, Dad.
I do, I just...
don't really understand it.
What do you mean?
Your father is a very attractive man for his age.
Um... thank you.
[softly]: Well, you are.
Look, there is something else.
You know, the story in the paper,
the one about Jamie.
She did that.
What?! What?
She is completely deranged.
She thought it would drive a wedge between us or something.
I don't know.
The website forum stuff, that was all her, too.
Is there... anything else?
She bought me fish and chips.
Uh...
Maybe we should talk about this somewhere else.
PETER: Yeah, we should probably...
Maggie... oh, shit!
BECKA: We might be needing to call that ambulance back.
KAREN: Hi, is everything...
Hm. What...?
You kissed my husband.
What? You went to the paper
and you gave them the story about my son, about Jamie.
You scuttled around on the internet
leaving poisonous little messages about us.
About our family.
And you actually thought for one second
that you could hurt my marriage.
An atomic bomb
couldn't hurt my marriage,
Karen!
♪
I think you'll be needing a new secretary.
KAREN: What?
BRIAN: I can't go to the hospital.
SYDNEY: You can, everything's gonna be fine.
Trust me.
All right.
Where's Alex? He's talking to the police.
He's all right.
Everyone's all right.
PARAMEDIC: Aren't you the couple who won the lottery?
ALEX: Yeah, they are.
Some people have all the luck, eh?
Alex!
ALEX: It was an attempted robbery,
but apparently they've already been picked up, so...
Could you call Mum for me?
Tell her we have to come to the statement,
but, but we'll be home soon.
Tell her everything's gonna be okay.
♪
Oh, it's been two hours.
It's not like she's gone to the cinema, Maggie, you know.
It'll take as long as it takes.
No news is good news.
I don't think I've ever believed that.
Really, read any papers lately?
[chuckles]: Good point.
Mmm, I should really come up here more often.
This is... it's quite something, isn't it?
See why you like it.
The whole kingdom spread out before you.
And you up here.
Maggie Cole, queen of the castle.
Keep. Keep.
[phone ringing] Mmm, not now!
Oh, Peter, Peter, Peter!
Where is it, where is it?
It's in that one.
Oh, it's Marcus.
Hello, Marcus?
What's happening?
Yep, okay, we're on our way.
NURSE: Here we go.
One sec-- move your feet for me.
BRIAN: Yeah.
NURSE: Right, let's put him on the bed.
Yeah... great.
[grunts] Sorry... sorry.
It's all right, doing all right.
You all right? Yeah.
Oh, is this your daughter?
His wife, actually.
Right, um...
Well, the buzzer's here,
if you need anything, so, um,
I'll just leave you to, um...
What?
I wanted rid of her.
There's, um...
There's a couple of officers waiting to talk to you.
Get a statement, take your details.
So come on, then, what is the prognosis?
Um...
Was lodged under the clavicle.
There's no muscle damage, no nerve damage.
Got it out, stitched me up.
Well, you look fine, anyway.
Unlike the guy in the room next door.
Don't know what is wrong with him,
but he's flat-out unconscious
with a head like a watermelon.
About your size and build, though.
It's a nice room, this.
Wasted on a non-smoker like you.
Bet people are always sneaking out for a crafty fag...
Thank you.
You will ring me, won't you?
Promise.
'Cause, I mean, if nothing else...
I am gonna need a reference,
'cause I'm... kind of out of a job now.
[exhales]
♪
[sighs]
♪
Maggie?
Sydney... what is it, what's wrong?
Brian's gone.
Gone?
Oh, for God's sake, he's not dead.
Oh.
He's gone.
[police radio squawking]
At least I hope he has.
Come here, come with me.
[whispering]: Brian got shot.
[loudly]: Shot?!
[softly]: What do you mean shot, shot by who?
Well, not by gangsters, if that's what you're thinking.
Mind you, well, I suppose they were a bit gangsterous,
but they weren't there for him-- they were there for Alex.
MAGGIE: Alex?
[Maggie gasps]
JEZ: Yeah, yeah.
Nah.
They're being a right bunch of bloody jobsworths, as usual.
Couple of coppers in reception, though.
I'll just follow them up if I have to.
Just chill, will you?
You'll have it by 5:00.
[scoffs]: Dickhead.
[exhaling]
All right?
Yeah, yeah, sorry, just, uh...
Your voice sounds so familiar.
[chuckles]: Jez Crosby-- Coastland FM?
Ah. [in radio voice]: On digital and across the county.
Here, hold this, will you, mate?
Yeah, it's all been kicking off up in Thurlbury today.
World War bloody III, by the sounds of it.
All be on the 6:00.
You're the one who broke the whole Radiogate thing,
aren't you?
Oh, yeah, Mrs. Gob Almighty.
Trended number three
in the country, you know. Yeah, I know it did, and...
I'm Mr. Gob Almighty.
♪
Bye, Sydney, take care of yourself.
Maggie?
[door shuts]
Oh, oh, Marcus, is she in there?
Can I see her?
They've just given her some sedatives, Maggie.
Please!
Mm, I, um, really didn't get the chance
to say before, but, uh...
Big fan.
Oh, right-- thanks.
Yeah.
Oh...
Oh, God...
[devices beeping]
[murmuring] [exhaling]
Would you like a sweet?
Red or yellow?
It's okay.
I'll pass.
I know you weren't lying to me about what you saw.
Peter's told me everything,
but it's not what it seems.
It's not what you think.
It's not... important right now-- none of that...
None of that is important right now.
I did this.
I did thisto you.
I may not have been the one driving the car, but...
you're still here because of me.
Small village life-- rumors, gossip,
whispers, thinking you know everybody's business.
Thinking you've got a right to.
Just telling yourself it's just words.
Isn't it, that's all, just words?
But it's like... ripples on a pond.
You throw in one little stone, and...
[crying]: Oh, God...
There was...
an incident at the pub.
Some men were looking for Alex.
They found him through Roxy, through a picture of her
that was in the papers that I caused.
They got hold of a gun.
A gun Alex's brother found when he was
hunting around in the pub for evidence of a...
stupid, far-fetched rumor that I started.
Then they fled the scene, nicked a car...
And hit you.
Jill, you're...
You're only here because of me.
If I'd never done that interview,
if I'd never said those things,
none of this would ever, ever have happened.
It's never just words.
I am so, so sorry, Jill.
[door opens]
Excuse me, I'm just collecting.
You haven't taken them?
You really should.
Please.
[whispers]: Thank you.
[sighs and sniffs]
You're awake.
Well, was resting my eyes.
Do have a bit of a headache, you know.
Jill, I...
Maggie, shut up-- I forgive you,
all right? For everything.
And I don't know what the hell
all that about stolen cars and guns was about.
Or why you think I wouldn't be here
if you hadn't done that stupid radio interview, but...
I know what would have happened if you hadn't.
I wouldn't have met the man I fell in love with.
MARCUS: Wait...
What did you just say?
I don't know.
I say a lot of things, I'm a babbler.
Do you mind?
I think we're having a bit of a moment here.
I've just taken some pretty strong sedatives,
so I think time's a bit short.
Yes, of course, of course, yes, right.
Right, oh, right, yeah.
♪
Well, everything all right?
Yes, everything is brilliant!
She forgives me. Okay.
That's not what I meant, but...
What?
Oh no, no, no, she's fine, she's strong as an ox.
She'll be back on her feet in no time.
But she forgives me, Peter.
We can be friends again-- everything's gonna be okay!
Actually, it really is, isn't it?
We've done it.
I've made things right with each and every...
Oh, two secs...
Um...
Sorry to interrupt but, uh, Marcus, can I just...
Apology accepted, Maggie, okay?
Brilliant!
Oh, thanks very much,
thanks very much-- as you were.
I have made things right with each and every one of them.
Great, well done.
We can go home now.
Jill and Marcus, what a perfect couple, eh?
At last I can be happy for them.
Not that I wasn't happy for them before,
but, you know.
We should have them over for dinner.
Yeah, let's wait until she can walk again first,
though, eh? Yeah.
Now what?
Oh, don't sound all long-suffering,
'cause it would spoil what I'm about to say.
Well, what were you about to say? I was about to say,
would it be hugely inappropriate
to kiss you in the middle of a hospital corridor?
Oh, right, sorry.
Uh, well, go on, say it, then.
Would it be hugely inappropriate
to kiss you in the middle of a hospital corridor?
Very. Oh.
[moans]
I love you. Mm, I love you, too.
Can we go home now, please?
No, I don't want to go home.
Where do you wanna go, then?
Hmm...
[seagulls squawking]
MAGGIE: Happy birthday, Thurlbury.
Yup, yup, happy birthday.
Let's not do it again
for another 500 years, though, okay?
Deal.
BECKA: So, Peter,
is Karen a good kisser, then, or what?
Hm!
Really?
Ah, come on, we're all thinking it.
Well, answer the question.
Oh, God!
You two really have to stop spending time with each other.
Well, if you must know, she was awful.
Even worse than Mrs. Bainbridge.
Mrs. Bainbridge?
Exactly how many women have you been
smooching with behind my back? Um, just the two.
It was at the Christmas party.
I went for the cheek and she did that whole
turning-her-head- at-the-last-minute thing.
[both groan]
MAGGIE: Did she?
Not entirely surprising.
The woman is insatiable.
You know she's been having a fling
with that lad from the Co-op.
The one with the green hair?
For God's sake, Mum. Maggie!
What? No, it's true-- no, that actually is true.
You are incorrigible.
MAGGIE: A friend of a friend told me,
so I know it's true.
["Make Me Smile" by Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel playing]
♪ You've done it all, you've broke your every code ♪
♪ And pulled the rebel to the floor ♪
[singers vocalizing]
♪ You spoilt the game no matter what you say ♪
♪ For only metal, what a bore ♪
[singers vocalizing] ♪ Blue eyes, blue eyes
♪ How come you tell so many lies? ♪
♪ Come up and see me, make me smile ♪